This is the business English podcast.
How to master business lunch etiquette.
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This is Real Business English, with your favorite American hosts, Lindsay and Michelle, coming to you from New York City and Colorado, USA.
You want to have proper etiquette.
Find out how to navigate a tricky restaurant situation in this important business episode.
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Hey, Michelle, how are you today?
Hi, Lindsay.
I'm great.
How are you?
I'm excited to be here because we're going to be bringing our listeners a very special episode of the All Ears English podcast, which is another show that, if they're not subscribed to, they should be.
But Michelle, this episode is going to talk about today business. business lunches.
Yes.
We're talking about lunches.
I mean, Lindsay, do you have business lunches often?
Yeah.
I mean, I would say not as much because I work online, but occasionally, like next week, next Monday night, a business contact is coming to Denver.
People do you know come into Denver sometimes for conferences and he and I are going to have dinner.
So yeah, I guess I have a business dinner coming up.
Okay.
I mean, what about conferences?
I mean, do you have lunches with people then maybe?
Yeah, I do sometimes.
I do sometimes.
The hard thing about conferences is that you know if you try to go to a restaurant in the conference center, there's usually two choices and the lines are out the door to get in.
So by the time you're in, you've missed all the sessions and yeah.
But I do sometimes sit down for a sandwich with someone or a coffee at a conference.
And I do have certain you know, certain things I pay attention to a little bit more than normal when I do that.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So today, on this episode, we are going to talk very specifically about how meals may arrive at different times.
And this is really important for business and your relationship.
So sometimes you may get your meal, let's say you order a cold meal or maybe you order a hot meal.
And on this episode of All Ears English, we discuss the etiquette around eating.
That's a really good question.
Yeah, very cultural.
Yeah, very important.
So this is really useful for you guys when you go out to lunch with colleagues, with your boss, whatever it may be.
So what happens when somebody gets their meal first?
Do you eat?
What do we do?
So guys, listen into this episode and wait until the end, because Lindsay and I will be catching up talking about our tips, and So definitely listen until the end.
All right, here we go.
Enjoy the episode.
Hey there, Michelle.
What's shaking?
Oh, not too much, Lindsay.
Lindsay, when was the last time you ate at a restaurant?
Oh my gosh, i ate at a fast, casual place.
Over the weekend it was actually a bon me place, which was really good uh, but it was more of a the kind where you know they bring it to your table.
That's not table service, it's more like counter service, but they bring it to you kind of.
Yeah, what about you, michelle?
Did you go out to eat this weekend?
Um, did i go out to eat this weekend?
Um I oh, I did, I did.
I didn't go out, but I did Indian takeout.
I brought it home.
So that, that's always a good choice.
Um.
When you go to a restaurant though, do you tend to order cold or hot food, or does it depend on the time of the day?
I think it depends on the time of the day.
I'm more likely to order, and this is something that's interesting.
That's different, I think, between our culture and maybe European cultures.
I really like a good sandwich, like a cold lunch.
I don't mind something hot, but I'm not used to it.
I don't need it.
I don't need a hot lunch in the middle of the day, a full meal.
Because when I think hot meal, I think full meal, like a cooked meal.
Do you agree with that?
Are you on the same page?
Yeah, I would say that I eat a lot of sandwiches for lunch or salad, stuff like that.
So yeah, I would say it depends on the time of the day.
But today, so this is going to be a lot of fun, Lindsay.
We're going to talk about a very common situation that happens at restaurants, and what you can say, and this.
This really gets into culture as well.
So, big time, i'm going to be very curious to hear feedback from our listeners.
Yes yes, i think it's.
You know, we can learn the language all day, every day, but then when we're in a culture, we don't have those cues or know what those norms are, and that could really get us into some trouble right, michelle?
Yep, exactly.
So Before we get into this more, we are going to share some poll results that we have from our Spotify poll from a little while ago.
So that was from episode 2385.
Oh my gosh, that was a fun one.
It was Order in the Court, Everyday Courtroom English.
Oh my gosh.
I am excited to see if we can record more episodes like this because well everyone, obviously now we know everyone loves a good, almost everyone.
Michelle loves a good courtroom drama.
What was the question?
Yeah, it was again, do you like to watch courtroom shows?
Yes or no, right?
Yeah.
And yeah, so I was pretty.
I was pretty surprised actually, because it was even more than i, than i kind of imagined.
So yes, with 77 percent of our listeners um, who answered the poll and noah's 22, i guess 23, if probably there's a rounding error there but um yeah yeah, so 22 percent don't?
Um yeah, i don't really watch them.
I'm okay with a courtroom movie, but i don't really watch the shows.
Yeah yeah i, i know we always have on tv is special victims unit svu, what is it?
Uh, law and order svu, that's.
I guess that's kind of a crime and a courtroom show.
It's a little bit of both, yeah.
But why do you think people aubrey and i chatted about this a few weeks ago why are some people so intrigued by true crime, courtroom stuff, legal stuff?
I guess because there's a lot of information that you can find out.
It's almost like a mystery, right?
You're trying to solve something.
That's what I would say.
What about you?
What do you think?
Yeah, I think people love to solve the crime.
You know, it goes back to, you remember the movie Clue?
It's all about solving the crime.
People love that stuff.
So I'm not shocked by our results here on Spotify.
Well, guys, thank you for answering that poll.
Yeah, definitely check out that episode 2385 again.
Um so lindsay, the situation that we're going to talk about is when someone's food comes out before someone else's and you're at.
You're sitting at the table, you get your food and You know, or maybe most of the people get their food and the other person doesn't get their food yet.
So awkward.
Oh, yeah.
Food doesn't always come out at the same time, of course.
Right.
It depends.
I mean, maybe some restaurants try and make sure that that happens.
But a lot of times it could be that someone's waiting.
Somebody maybe somebody ordered a burger.
Well done.
And theirs is going to take longer.
Right.
So it really depends.
So, Lindsay, so the question is, if your food comes out first, do you start eating or do you wait?
You're checking my manners right now.
My manners.
So, well, my answer is no, I don't.
Oh, wait, I don't start diving in.
The only exception to that is. is if I've ordered an appetizer.
And usually when I order an app, I want to share the app, right?
So it'd be in the middle.
I think that's the easiest thing to do.
But if for some reason there was an appetizer like a pre-meal salad that I had ordered myself, I would start eating that because the person knows you ordered an app.
I didn't order an app. right but no Michelle otherwise it's awkward it's awkward I sort of what I'll do is I'll sort of like maybe pick up my fork and pick at it a little bit just to not because but then the other person has to give me a cue to start eating and it's it's oh man yeah so this is I mean this is a very common situation so guys you will find yourself in these situations I think To me, people do both.
People might wait or they might not.
And I think it depends on how your meal is supposed to be eaten.
So yeah, like if I get a salad, let's say, let's say not an appetizer salad.
Let's say my main meal is a salad.
I probably wait because it's meant to be cold.
It can be cold.
Yes, it should be cold.
Yes, it should be cold.
And so I'm not going to be in a rush to eat it.
It's not waiting a few minutes is fine.
Now, if I get a soup or a pizza something that's meant to be eaten hot there is a chance that I will eat.
But yeah, we have to go into that now.
Right.
Right.
Right.
I mean, I think for me, it's all about the cues.
It's all, it's almost like getting permission from your dining partner to go ahead.
And I think it's all.
The responsibility is on the person who doesn't have their meal yet to say something like Oh please please, start eating.
I don't want it to get cold in a way.
Right.
Yep.
Yep.
Exactly.
Because if you want to eat, that's okay.
But I mean, on your end, you know, you might just say, I'm sorry, I'm eating.
I just didn't want it to get cold.
But again, like Lindsay says, I think in that situation it may actually make sense for the person who didn't get their food yet to say something.
It more than makes sense.
I think they should and they need to.
And the other person should be waiting in a sense.
I mean, yes, you can go ahead and eat, but I would feel a little weird saying that.
Like, I'm sorry, I'm eating and I'm already eating.
That could be a personality difference.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't know.
We'll also talk about relationships.
I think it's okay if you're like, oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm eating.
I don't know.
I see people do that or I might do it.
It really depends on the relationship.
There's so many things that go into this situation.
That's seemingly very simple, but there's a lot that could go into it.
I'm sure if you're with your partner, your parents.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Totally.
Yeah.
So if we're in a business lunch or someone new, it's a very different and no question you're going to wait for some kind of cue.
And in these situations, we kind of just hope everyone has a certain level of social skill.
Right.
Because otherwise someone's staring at a meal getting cold a little bit.
Right.
So.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
You have to kind of be aware of what, you know, if somebody else gets their food first, what is it?
I mean if and if you're, if you're, if this happens and you're waiting for your food, pay attention, what are they eating?
If, if it's cold, I would say it's fine.
Unless like, I don't know if it's taking such a long time, then that's another situation.
But generally if it's somebody if, if you know somebody has a soup or somebody has Pizza chicken, a hot meal you want to pay attention.
So I mean, what can you say if you're that person and you want to give that permission?
Yeah, it's a hundred percent.
Yeah exactly, michelle.
So that's that's what we're saying.
We're teaching the phrases today for the person who does not have the food yet right because, like we said, the responsibility is kind of on that person to go ahead and let the person know please eat.
So what we can say one thing is oh, don't wait for me, you know, don't wait for me, please eat, right.
Yeah, of these things, really a combination.
Or eat, don't let your food get cold, please.
And there would be some gesturing and that would be a warm and that would give that person permission.
Okay, I'll eat slowly, I'll pick up my fork, that sort of thing.
Yes, exactly.
OK, Michelle, this is great.
I mean, I do wonder what what, what it is in other cultures?
If it's a similar cue, that's expected, or if it's something different.
Fascinating.
I wonder, too.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking about as I was planning this.
I'd definitely be curious to hear from our listeners.
I mean, another thing is if you get your food first, it's good to check in, right?
Especially if it's taking a long time.
So if the other person doesn't have their food and it's you know, 10 minutes that everyone's waiting, or even you know, you could still just say oh, you didn't get your food yet, or your food didn't come yet.
Yeah, exactly.
And there's a lot of variations because I wonder what's going on with your food.
Or you could maybe take the lead of raising your hand and just inquiring and saying and learning about the status of the meal.
Right.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Michelle, yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead.
I was just going to say it's just good to show that you care, if you're, if you're aware of what's going on with these things, that the other person should be eating as well.
Right.
Because to me it seems very asynchronous and weird.
If one person is just shoveling food into their mind, the other person just kind of sitting there looking around, it's just very weird.
It's very weird.
It's just it's kind of antithetical to what dining together means and what you're supposed to be doing.
Right yeah, that's a good, that's a good point right, because you don't want to eat your whole thing, and then they get their food right and then they're eating.
It's just, it's something doesn't feel right.
It seems silly, but it's just something about actually eating together.
Yeah.
I mean, I think a good restaurant won't let this happen most of the time, unless it's some kind of exceptional dish that has to go out right away.
Most good restaurants will make sure you're served at the same time, right?
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
Or within a few minutes of each other.
Yeah.
I mean Lindsay.
So yeah, we were kind of talking about the relationships and how it could change depending on how you're, how close you are with someone.
If it's at a business lunch, i mean if, like if to me you probably don't need to say much to someone you're super close with.
You might say, oh sorry, i'm eating, but you might not like if dan gets something and i mean then he'll probably be picking at my food.
Right, there are some exactly, you're close to them, you don't need to think about this really.
Well, that's actually a good point.
Unless you have a salad which is kind of awkward to share.
If you get served first and they give you permission to go ahead and eat, I might say would you like to share?
Would you like some?
Would you like to try some?
I might make that more of a community dish at that point.
Salads are a little awkward, but anything that could be shared, I would say please share, let's share.
And I feel like that's probably really common globally.
I think globally, like when I lived in Japan, Michelle, it was all sharing and I love that.
I love that style.
In the Izakaya, we would go out, no one had their own plate, no one.
We just ordered and you probably did this in Japan too we just ordered like 10 plates for a table of 10 of us, and then it would just pick.
It was amazing.
What do we call this?
Do you know what I, this is what I call this, but I don't know if I don't have a word.
I would call this family style.
Yeah.
Family style.
Yes, totally.
But I don't know if everybody calls it that.
So like, that's where it just, everybody picks at it.
You're, you're not getting, you know, one, this happens a lot.
If like, for example, we order Chinese food, there are certain, There are certain cuisines that if we order, we generally tend oh, we're going to order a few dishes, and just everybody takes a little bit of everything.
So you get to try it.
You get to try it.
And I also think you end up eating a little less.
At least I know I did in Japan for sure because the servings are smaller, which was great.
But in the U.S., I think we tend to get a big plate of sort of maybe sometimes sort of average food.
Whereas in my travels I would share a plate of great food, and I would rather share a plate of great food.
Do you know what I mean?
Don't get me wrong.
We have some good restaurants in the U S but you know what I mean?
It's, it's a different style.
Right, right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So is this, you know, I think overall we want to think about who we're with.
If you're at a business lunch, I would say definitely wake Just how formal is it?
Who are you with?
How well do you know them?
And I think that's what it really comes down to.
I don't think that with your spouse, you have to really wait and be so formal.
No, I think you're right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But let's do a couple role plays of how this would look.
OK, here we are, friends, and I ordered a salad and it came out first, but it's been two minutes.
So you, Michelle, are just sitting there twiddling your thumbs, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Here we go.
So I'm, you know, I'm thinking, I'm starting to pick at my food and I say oh, your food didn't come out yet.
No, it's OK.
Please eat.
Don't wait for me.
It's OK.
It's a salad.
I'll wait for you.
Okay, thanks.
And honestly, in a conversation, you may just continue the conversation.
So here, after you say, oh, it's okay, it's a salad, I'll wait for you, right?
Your next thing, you might just go back to what we were talking about, right?
You might say, oh, and what about this thing that happened last week?
Right.
Right.
So organic and natural.
Right.
Right.
It does.
You're right.
It does just kind of slip into in the very middle of a conversation.
Right.
Somebody might be like.
For example, you might have been in the beginning of that role place telling a story.
So anyway, and then all of a sudden you look out because you started to eat and then you say wait, your food didn't come yet.
And then.
Yes, it's very organic.
It's very much.
Yeah, that is really interesting.
So should we go into scenario two here, Michelle?
Scenario two we are co-workers now at a business lunch, we are moderately close.
Okay, i got a soup um, butternut squash soup, i don't know um yeah, and it came out first and lindsay didn't get her food yet.
Oh no awkward okay uh sorry lindsay, i'm eating, i'm just so hungry.
Michelle, please eat.
Uh, don't let your soup get cold.
Okay thanks, lindsay.
Yeah yeah um nice okay, love it.
Yeah, so that's another, another way some of this comes down, like we said relationship, your personality, how hungry you are at times.
Um, we're all a little bit different around this particular moment of taking the initiative, going ahead to eat, but the point is articulating it right and a lot of the onus is on the person who didn't get the food.
I think that's one of our key points for today right yes, exactly.
So, in this role play, i got the food and then i went for and then i said sorry lindsay, i'm eating, i'm just so hungry.
I mean listen, i think, if you at least say something, i think it's okay.
Personally um, if we're especially, as i said, we're moderately close, but again, it's generally probably better to wait for the other person.
But here you weren't saying anything, lindsay.
So what choice did i have?
I know, i know, i know right, it's on, it's on the person who didn't get their food.
Again, like we said.
So, keeping in mind for our listeners, if you notice that uh, the person got their food and you're sitting there, it's on you to go ahead and please say something.
Right, that's our recommendation, our cultural recommendation, cultural recommendation.
And then you said please eat, don't let your soup get cold.
So yeah, You gave me that permission, but I had already done it.
You could also, you know, what I might do.
So this is a personality difference.
And if I were in this scenario, I might actually say, do you mind if I start?
I'm worried it's going to get cold.
Something like that.
Yeah.
But that's just like that's just personal, personal preference or personal style.
Right, love it right, and again, it just depends.
Also, like i'm thinking about um a lunch that i went to recently and it it was i.
I didn't know the people, it was something for um my husband's work and it was like Everybody was very casual, even though I didn't know them very well.
You've got to feel for the group, you know?
Yeah, totally, totally.
There's a lot of.
What we have to do is just sense the environment and get a sense of what's going on.
So, love it.
What's our takeaway for today?
I mean, that's the takeaway.
Be proactive in communicating, right, in these scenarios, right?
Right.
Right.
Exactly.
Don't just don't be in a daze when your food comes out.
Right.
No, you have to do something.
You have to do some thinking and checking and just you know it's nothing crazy or anything too serious.
But I'll do a quick scan and see if everybody has their food.
Yeah, taking care of the person in front of us, right?
That's good communication and connection.
So guys, go ahead and hit the follow button on this show to make sure you get more All Ears English.
All right.
All right.
All right, Lindsay.
Now I'm hungry.
I'll talk to you later.
All right.
I'll talk to you soon, Michelle.
Have a good one.
All right.
Bye.
Michelle, this topic is incredibly important, especially for our business listeners.
Absolutely.
I really love that episode.
It's a lot of fun.
It's very people can really relate to this topic and really important for business.
And again, it can vary so much depending on culture, the workplace, your relationships.
So much going on here.
So but I mean, Lindsay, what's something what's a tip that you have about having a business launch?
Well, I think, you know, the overall idea of this episode is really important.
Just staying in sync with the person in front of us, you know.
I mean, we need to, communication is the key, right?
We need to communicate this idea of, is it okay to eat?
Uh, but what we eat matters too, when it comes to a business dinner or a business lunch.
Like I do think about that.
I think about okay, am I going to order this big, messy plate of spaghetti and have spaghetti sauce all over my shirt and my face at the end?
Right.
Right.
Or am I going to order something that's just like a little less messy chicken wings.
They get all over your hands.
Right.
And then you're licking your fingers in front of everybody.
Save that for the, you know, for the bar with your friends, the football game or something.
Right.
So there are certain choices we can make that just make it a little smoother or little easier, I think.
Yeah, that's a great tip.
So considering what you may want to order or not order at a business lunch.
So guys, yeah, I love that.
And for me, I mean I also I don't have too many business lunches, but I do remember ordering with my coworkers.
And I would just say, um, also be, be mindful of the time.
Always think about, okay, is this going to be more casual?
Is it going to be quick?
Are we kind of just going to be working through lunch or do we have an hour?
Right.
So always that's, that would be another tip that I have.
Think about how much time you have and that will dictate kind of um even as far as this episode goes you know can you wait for someone to eat their to like get their order or should are we all just kind of eating at our own pace because we've got to get back so interesting okay did that happen sometimes in your business lunches where people would order and if their food came earlier they would head back maybe in a big group i could see that obviously not one-on-one Yeah, I would see in a bigger group, something like that might happen.
But, you know, always, always check on your workplace culture.
Don't just run away from your lunches because I said that.
I know, right?
It's so true.
I'm sure that the dining culture is so incredibly different across cultures.
You know, I mean I know in Western Europe, I think, more time is spent at lunch different courses, different rounds.
So imagining understanding what culture we're in and what the expectations are culturally too right.
Yeah, definitely.
So lots of things to pay attention to.
So we hope you enjoyed that episode.
Guys, make sure that you search for All Ears English, the All Ears English podcast.
There's so much over there that is really useful for you for listening for business English as well.
Oh my gosh.
Yes, because we always talk about how when you, just because you're in the business world, doesn't mean that you're not living your real life.
Doesn't mean that you turn into a robot.
You're still yourself and you should be.
So search for All Ears English and hit follow.
You got it.
Open that search bar, type in All Ears English, hit the follow button now.
Excellent.
All right, Michelle, thanks for being here and making me hungry, but I'll go for lunch soon.
Absolutely.
All right, guys.
Thanks for listening.
Bye, Lindsay.
Take care.
Bye, Michelle.
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