Today we are going to be talking about British plightness.
Plightness.
Why are British people known for being plight?
Is this a stereotype?
Is it true?
What do we actually do here in the UK?
I'm going to be talking about many politeness traditions, the behaviour in society and how people actually act in reality.
We all know that this idea of the British gentleman or British politeness is very well known around the world.
And this might be true.
I actually read an article that said that British people say thank you the word, thank you more than any other country in the world.
Although this is only one study, I really think it is probably true.
In my own opinion, I think people say thank you way too much here.
Saying please and thank you, for example, is very important here.
And from a young age, I was taught by my mother that you have to say please and thank you.
If I asked for something and I didn't say please, my mother would always pretend to not hear me or act as if I wasn't making any sense.
I would then have to repeat the question, but this time say please.
Before talking about each aspect of the British culture of politeness, I will first discuss why I think this exists.
Why is politeness so important in Britain?
Well, first off, i think it is this way because in the past, the british empire was very, very large.
In this context, in this time, there was a lot of military.
The british navy, the ships of the military, was huge, and this navy culture, military culture, was very, very important in the british empire.
This is perhaps one of the reasons why this almost military-like politeness is such a big thing here.
It also may come from the british class system.
This is different levels of wealth, different levels of money.
As many people know, there was a large rich class in the UK.
They had their own set of manners, their own set of politeness.
And this became very, very popular amongst even the more poor people.
But to be entirely honest, I'm not very sure why it is such a big thing in culture here.
Perhaps it is a combination of many of these reasons.
Of course, there is basic politeness here, such as forming a queue outside of a shop or for public transport or saying excuse me.
Whenever someone is in your way and you want to get past, you must always say please and thank you with any service that you are receiving or any help from someone that you are receiving.
If you don't say please and thank you it is seen as very rude.
In general there is sometimes a stereotype that British people are more reserved.
As someone who grew up in Northern Ireland I actually quite agree with this.
I think that British people are more reserved when they first meet someone.
And if you are too friendly and too comfortable it can be seen as kind of rude or the person might think it is a little bit strange.
For example, a handshake is usually preferred or more oftenly done than a hug or a kiss on a cheek.
This is for people that you don't know extremely well.
It is also considered very rude to ask extremely personal questions about someone, For example, how much money they earn, their relationship status whether they are single or dating someone their weight, their age, especially for women.
This is seen as extremely rude.
If you ask a lady what age she is, she will probably be quite embarrassed or annoyed.
These are all basics.
So what are some more of the bigger themes, the more important points of British politeness?
The first I would say is punctuality.
Punctuality.
This word means being on time, not being late for things.
To be punctual.
So it is considered very rude to arrive late for things, for business meetings, even for a doctor's appointment or any formal occasion.
It is very common for people to arrive about 10 minutes early in order to look professional and prepared.
And it's also seen as a mark or a point of respect for the host, for the person who has invited you.
But at the same time, you don't want to arrive too early.
So I would recommend between 5 and 10 minutes before anything starts, but no more.
If, for example, you're invited to a British dinner party... there are some expected things.
It is tradition or habit for a dinner guest to bring a gift for the host, for the person who has invited them.
This could be a bottle of wine, some food, maybe chocolates or a snack.
Once at dinner, there are some rules, I guess you could say.
People hold their knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand.
And it is seen as very rude to eat with your hands instead of a knife and fork or a spoon, for example.
But one important point is that it is very important to wait until everyone has their food to begin eating.
Or until the host, the person that has invited you, indicates or sort of says that you should do so.
If you would like something on the table which you cannot reach with your hands, something that is too far away from you, instead of stretching across the table, it's important to always just ask for someone to pass it to you.
Likewise, it's also considered rude to put your elbows on the table.
So your elbows, elbow, la cote.
So that might seem like a lot of tiny little rules about eating and dinner and, to be honest, a lot of people don't follow them.
This is something that is more for formal occasions, so if you are meeting someone for the first time or you don't know them well, people will behave like this.
However, if it's a close friend or family, people are much more relaxed and they're not trying to be incredibly polite or give a really good impression.
So why do people behave like this with all of these different ways of politeness?
I read an article about this and it has three main points about how British people behave and kind of why.
The first is to save others from embarrassment.
Embarrassment is when you feel a kind of shame or awkwardness.
This is why British people apologise so much.
They say sorry a lot and that the fault is theirs.
It's because they don't want anyone else to feel awkward or embarrassed.
We very much understand how bad that feeling is and people just don't want other people to feel it.
For example, even if it is the other person's fault they are guilty in the situation people will still apologize to that person and say oh, it's my fault entirely, don't worry, you have nothing to apologize for, it's all me.
This makes the person feel better and it's usually for small things for example, if the person has dropped something or just done something a little bit silly And it makes them feel more comfortable and not accused or guilty.
The second main point is not wanting to offend people.
This is why British people can sometimes be quite reserved.
They withhold some emotions.
They don't want people to misunderstand them and think that they are rude or a bad person.
This isn't always a bad thing because often people will think before they say something.
People here also don't like to show off.
They don't like to make themselves look really good.
It is considered very rude to show off lots of money for example and wealth.
Because, of course, there are a lot of people that aren't as lucky.
There's a lot of people that aren't as privileged.
They haven't had as easy a life as many people that do have wealth have.
So people are very careful to not be rude and show off their money.
Because of course, everyone has different circumstances.
This is a point that I actually agree with.
I don't think showing off money shows that someone is a good person.
It can actually sometimes give the other impression, the other view.
It is much better to value someone and respect someone based on their personal values and character.
Despite everything I've talked about today, I want to say that this politeness is not so intense.
It sounds like a lot whenever I describe it or I break down these different components, these different parts.
But in reality, there are rude people in every country and polite people too.
Most people here do not take this to an extreme length.
They are somewhere in the middle.
Of course, certain things of politeness like please thank you.
Respecting another person is very common and it is expected everywhere.
But if you visit the UK, do not overthink politeness and do not worry about what the other person is thinking about you, because the chances are they are probably worrying much more about their actions and whether they are being rude than you.
This is the paradox of British politeness, I guess.
Everyone sort of worries more about what the other person is thinking about them than what the other person is actually doing.
I hope this was an interesting topic and gives you more of an insight, a view into British culture and politeness.
I really enjoy doing these podcasts and talking to you, and I hope that you enjoy them too.
Thank you everyone for all of your support on Instagram on this podcast.
I appreciate each and every one of you so much.
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I hope you have a fantastic day.
You're all amazing.
I will see you in the next podcast.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
