Elizabeth, you know that this year I am hosting Thanksgiving for the second time.
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And one of the things that makes it easier to prepare for any kind of big gathering whether it's Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving or any kind of celebration is knowing that you can go to one place that you know you're going to get high standards and And good prices.
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I can look for the 365 brand and I know that I'm going to get everything that I need and want for a good price, with the quality that I can count on.
Yeah, they have everything from low-price quality turkey to pantry essentials.
And Gretchen, I have to add frozen appetizers, which are perfect for someone like me who is not a great cook.
I love to get the quiche trio, their butterfly shrimp and breaded calamari.
It's all so easy to prepare and so delicious.
Enjoy so many ways to save on your Thanksgiving spread at Whole Foods Market.
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Welcome to a bonus episode of the Happier Podcast.
Today we're listening back on an episode from eight years ago.
Elizabeth reveals one of her favorite holiday memories, and we share a ton of useful hacks for making holidays happier.
And we also talk about how to decide when and how to keep a tradition, evolve a tradition.
Obviously, this is something that I've been thinking a lot about now that I'm in the open door or empty nest phase of life.
How do traditions keep up with the changes in our season of life?
Here is the episode.
We hope you enjoy it.
So listen, let's jump into our happier holiday hacks.
We decided we were just going to do a hack episode. marathon as the holidays approach.
And the first one I think is very helpful, which is to declare an official start to the holiday season.
And this has part one and part two.
Part one is don't start beating yourself up about the fact that you haven't done your holiday shopping or that you haven't gotten your house organized, or whatever, and tell a certain part.
We talked many episodes ago about scheduling time to worry, setting aside time to worry.
And this is like okay, I'm not going to worry about this until the day after Thanksgiving or December 10th or whatever it is for you, so that you don't needlessly worry before you're ready to start actually doing something about it.
Yeah, because you could start worrying about Christmas before Halloween.
I mean stores start pushing Christmas so early now that it would be very easy to start freaking out well before it's necessary.
Exactly, exactly.
And part two of this is, Also declare a start for the holiday season for the pleasures.
So don't anticipate all the fun things that make the holiday season special by letting them bleed too early into the fall.
Yeah, Gretchen.
Like a few weeks ago, Adam and I were at the store and I saw that they had the holiday blend the Starbucks holiday blend for sale.
And I was like, ooh, should we get the holiday blend?
And he was like, too soon.
And I'm like, okay, he's right.
If we start drinking the holiday blend now, by the time the holidays are actually here, it won't feel fun and special.
And kind of along the same lines.
I have a friend who really loves holiday music, but she won't let herself start listening to holiday music until December 1st because otherwise she says it's just not fun.
It needs to make the holiday season feel special.
And so you have to kind of keep it in that holiday period.
Yes, I do that with holiday music also.
Although I'll start the day after Thanksgiving is my official start to the holiday season.
Oh, that's good.
So Gretchen, our next happier holiday hack comes from my childhood.
This was something a girl in my class, Ann Rippey, did every year, which was have a holiday cookie party.
It's actually a cookie exchange party.
So the idea is she would invite all the girls in our class and their mothers to come and bring I think it was maybe two dozen cookies.
So everyone would bake their favorite cookie, whether it was like an MM cookie or brownies or whatever it was.
And then we would come and we would put all of our cookies on her big dining room table.
And then everyone would get a plate and you would go around and you would get one of every kind of cookie that everyone brought.
So you brought two dozen cookies and you left with two dozen cookies.
And I remember, I mean as your older sister I was kind of aware that this was this tradition that you did and you and mom would do it.
And the fact is, it was so fun because it was always like this like what kind of cookies should we make?
And wanting to make a cookie that looked really delicious to other people.
And then when you came home, you'd have this whole array of all these different kind of cookies.
And even you and I would look at them and be like, ooh, taste this one or let's split this one.
It was really, really festive.
And I think, as I remember, it was really nice cooking.
The mothers would get together and the girls were there and you'd all get sort of dressed up.
It was really set the tone for the holiday season.
It was this thing that everybody looked forward to.
I looked forward to it, even though I didn't even go.
Yeah, it was so fun.
We all felt very sophisticated, even though it was a cookie party.
And one of the best parts, Gretchen, was trading cookies.
So once you went around the table and got all of your cookies, you could then trade with people who had certain, you know, favorites.
So it was just a really fun thing that I'm very nostalgic about.
In fact, I'm thinking I should try to do that for Jack.
That would be fun.
And I've got to say the hack part of this is that from the host perspective it's not a very complicated party to pull off.
Right.
Right.
Part of it is that everybody's bringing to it and it's its own activity.
So like yeah, you have to have your house ready for the holidays and bake your own two dozen cookies and have drinks and stuff.
But you get a lot of bang for your buck with the holiday cookie party.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Well, and speaking of getting your home ready for the holidays, this is a hack that you and I have both copied from mom, which is, once you do, a good sort of holiday display.
However you set it up, take a photograph of it, print it out and store it in the box with your holiday decorations, so that, when you unpack your holiday decorations, you can just exactly replicate what you've done before, if you so choose.
Because sometimes it's fun to like do things in a different way, but sometimes it's fun to just do everything exactly the way you did it before.
That looked good.
And I kind of like that model.
And this is just has saved me a lot of kind of decision fatigue, because I'm like well, I'm just going to do this Christmas tree the way I've always done it.
Well, I have to say, I have not actually done this, Gretchen.
I think it's a great hack, but I have not actually been organized enough to photograph decorations.
Also, my house feels like it's been in a constant state of flux since we moved in, so I haven't sort of perfected my holiday decorating yet, but I will do this.
This is part of my lifelong goal to be an actualized adult is to photograph my Christmas decorations.
Okay.
Year to year.
Hey, listen, grilling happen.
Miracles are, you know, all around us.
So I have faith that you can do it.
Yes.
And it really does make things easier.
And here is a hack related to holiday shopping.
So something that's a happiness stumbling block during the holiday times is people worrying about overspending or feeling guilty about what they've bought.
And here is a way to manage spending effectively.
And it's something where I feel like there's a lot of expert advice, but it's not good for everyone.
Because what a lot of times people will say is, when you're going shopping, always take cash.
Because people feel the pain of the cash going out of their hands.
Yes, but for someone else, using a credit card...
Is the way to go, because when you use a credit card, you then get a statement telling you exactly what you bought.
So in a way, it's more accountability than the cash, where cash can just flow out of your hands and you're like where did all that go?
Right.
And this is the thing where I think it's really important not to think like well, this is the best way to do it, because I read an article about it.
It's like well, maybe cash is the thing that for you is the better impulse control tool device, or maybe a credit card for you.
So figure out which one works for you and then use that system as a way to control spending.
Yes.
Know yourself better.
Know yourself better.
Okay, and then Gretchen, here's one on the eating front, which is always an issue, of course, around the holidays.
If you're trying to eat healthier, don't try the free samples.
You know, when you're going around the mall or the grocery store, there's always a million free samples.
I mean, Costco is famous for that.
And the whole reason they have the samples is because you're more likely to buy the food if you've tried the free samples.
Yes, you're more likely to buy.
So that goes to spending, back to spending.
And the thing is, when you have a free sample, you kind of remember your cravings.
Like you might not have had an urge to eat something sweet, but then you taste that like free chocolate bark or whatever.
And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, my gosh, I really want some more candy.
Or, you know, it awakens a craving in you that might have been completely dormant.
So walk on by that free sample table.
And then here's one that it seems obvious but I forget it every year for like a month, and then I have to remember, which is in terms of, you know, buying gifts, make a list or if you see something you think someone would like or that you would like, take a photo so that you can remember what it is.
Don't depend on your memory.
So you've either got to email yourself, like with the heading you know, Christmas list, or Or take a photo so you can go back and look.
And this has saved me in the last few years doing this.
Yes.
And, speaking of lists, which is so simple but so helpful.
I think different groups of people would have different views about this.
But Elizabeth in our family at least, there's a very strong assumption that everyone is going to make a list for themselves.
And if somebody is buying presents for you, you will have a list of things that you would like.
And that so people don't have to depend on their own ingenuity or their own list keeping to come up with good gifts for you, but that you're going to suggest gifts that you want.
And I think in some families and some groups of people they have a stronger idea that it should be a surprise.
But I really like it our way, because it's a good feeling to know like somebody really wants something and I'm going to go buy it for them and I'm going to give them something that they really want.
But there isn't that air of mystery.
But for us, that really works well.
Yes, it's very satisfying to like buy things you know somebody wants.
Yes.
But it does put pressure on us to like think of things we want, but that's okay.
That's, you know.
There's worse things than sitting around thinking, what do I want?
When I basically stopped buying anything for myself starting in mid-November and anything that I want, like if I want to get you know like oh, there's a special kind of face cream I want.
I'm like OK, that's going on the Christmas list, because somebody will be very happy to be able to put that in my stocking.
Absolutely.
Now here's a fun one is to identify a holiday family movie that you watch every year as part of your family holiday traditions.
Yeah, this is an easy, fun tradition.
And I was very inspired by a friend of mine who, she and her children who are grown, every January 1st they watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies.
Now, that is not a small undertaking.
That is a commitment.
Yeah, that is a commitment.
And she says it's not like people are chatting and wandering in and out of the room.
It's like you are sitting in your chair and you are watching every moment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
But I thought, what a wonderful tradition for them.
This is what it means to have New Year's Day.
And it's like the tradition of it just makes life feel more coherent.
It makes time feel more special.
It's something that you can all look forward to and share as a family, and it's a it's a pretty easy tradition yeah, and there's so many.
You can go watch a classic like it's a wonderful life, the charlie brown christmas special, or you can watch something more recent, like elf or bad moms, you know which is out this year as a christmas movie.
It's like there's such a range right right, you can pick what you want Coming up.
More happier holiday hacks.
But first, a break.
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Gretchen, it is the season of gifts, and you know I love personalized gifts.
Yes.
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Okay Gretch, speaking of traditions this, I think, is a really interesting holiday hack, and that's to be willing to let go of a tradition.
That goes against most people's instincts.
So I want to hear you talk about that.
Well, one of the things about tradition is they really are valuable.
They give people a sense of time passing.
They help families stay cohesive.
They make time feel more special.
Children tend to love traditions.
But Sometimes you need to be willing to let go of a tradition or not be too upset if you can't keep every element.
And I have had to do this many times.
Like for one when I got married.
You know Elizabeth, for you and me, growing up the Christmas tree was a huge thing.
We would always go the day after my birthday and buy a Christmas tree.
Decorating the Christmas tree was a big deal.
We each had our special Christmas ornament that we got every year.
And so when I got married to Jamie, I really wanted Christmas to have a ceiling high fresh Christmas tree.
Now, Jamie's Jewish, so he had no particular, you know, associations with a Christmas tree.
He went along with it just to be like a good husband.
But I realized living in New York, this was so much trouble.
It was so much work.
It was so much effort.
And then we would go to Kansas City every year where mom had like gorgeous tree and everything.
And so now I have tabletop trees goose, feather trees, and I put my ornaments on there and it makes the house look all decorated.
And I'm sad that we don't have a proper Christmas tree the way I had growing up.
But life became so much easier when I let go of the idea that Christmas wasn't Christmas unless I had gone out to the corner in the snow and dragged home the six foot Christmas tree.
Yeah.
And this goes to the thing where it's like life evolves.
Things change.
You know, if something ceases to work for you.
I think just feeling like you have to do it, just to you know, just to do it sort of sucks all the life energy out of the tradition itself.
Well, exactly.
And I had this just very recently.
Because every year I would take a picture of the girls in their Halloween costumes.
And I would have this Halloween gallery with these pictures that I only had out as part of our Halloween decorations.
And it was, you know, this wonderful picture of the girls through the years.
And you could watch them grow and see what they had every year.
And this year, of course, Eliza's away at college.
No Halloween picture.
Well.
So I thought well, should I have her take a picture of herself and then she can send it to me and I'll print it out and I'll get one of those.
You know, you can get those picture frames that are like hinged.
So there's one picture on each side.
But both of them would have to be vertical or both of them would have to be horizontal.
And is she going to follow through?
And would she really be wearing her costume?
I mean, I know she got dressed up to go to a party, but would she remember to take a photograph of it?
And then I was like, you know what?
I just have to let go of the idea that Eliza will be in the.
It's like now she's in college and the gallery is going to reflect that.
And so the picture for this year is Eleanor in her Corpse Bride costume.
And, you know, Eliza is off at college.
And just like there were pictures of Eliza before Eleanor was born, I'm like we're going to have pictures of Eleanor after Eliza left for college.
And it was...
You know, I had a little moment.
But again, I'm like, I would have to hound and nag Eliza to get this picture.
It'd be like this huge thing.
Like, just let go of it.
Let it, as you say, let it evolve.
Life is evolving.
Life is changing.
We need to change the tradition, too.
I need to change the tradition, too.
Yeah.
So it does kind of make me cry, I'll admit.
But I'm proud of you for not, you know, not being that mom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're just like because you're right.
You suck all the life and fun out of it if it becomes just this terrible chore that everybody's dreading.
Okay, so that's be willing to let go of a tradition.
I'd love to hear from people, by the way Gretchen, on what traditions they've let go of or, you know, want to let go of, but others won't allow them to let go of.
Right, right.
Or how they evolved it.
Like, what did you do?
If you couldn't do X, then you decided to do Y as sort of the next thing.
The evolution of a tradition.
And here's an interesting one, I think.
And this goes to sort of holiday relationship issues, because one of the things about holidays is many ways they're wonderful.
But for many people it can be challenging to be with family that you don't see that often, or dealing with big groups of people who might be coming from very different places.
And a lot of times a big happiness.
Stumbling block is sort of anticipating that there's going to be conflict, or you know like oh, we always have this fight, or I always dread, you know, seeing X Y, Z person in my family or whatever.
And I think one thing to do that can help is, before you enter into a situation like that or like maybe you're traveling to go someplace, spend some time thinking about how you want to behave in advance.
So you're not just reacting in the moment, but you're thinking like, How do I want to behave?
You can't control how other people are going to behave.
But knowing what I know about what the situation is likely to hold for me, how do I want to behave for myself?
I think this is such incredible advice, because if you leave a situation knowing that you sort of acted the way that you felt was appropriate, then it's not going to haunt you.
But if you get baited by someone and you end up screaming across the table from them, that might haunt you and really ruin your holiday.
Whereas, as long as you maintain the behavior that you want to maintain, you can at least just walk away with your head held high.
And this is related to the strategy of safeguards, which is one of the things I talk about in my book Better Than Before, which is the safeguards you anticipate failure.
You think about where have I slipped up before?
What can I anticipate?
So you can plan ahead.
You can think about challenges.
And you can say things like Well, I'm just going to make sure that I'm sitting at the opposite end of the table from this person, or I'm not going to drink at this party because I know if I drink then I might get lured into a conversation that I don't want to have.
Or I'm going to.
If this person tries to make me fight, I'm going to say let's just agree to disagree, or whatever it is.
And I mean, this is partly for relationships and that kind of thing.
But then I think it's but thinking about how you want to behave is even true for things like.
How much dessert do you want to have?
How much alcohol do you want to drink?
How late do you want to stay up?
The more you think about well, knowing what I know about a situation and what the possible pitfalls are, how can I plan ahead to have the most fun, the most love, the most engagement, given the situation?
It's a great idea.
And I think part of that too is and this is thinking about your relationship to others, which is But often, when you're making small talk with people whether it's like you're at a big holiday party or you're with your family that you don't see that often is to remember that topics that might seem innocuous to you or that you kind of just raise, without even thinking about it particularly, might really be upsetting to somebody else.
And so you might be making somebody else feel bad or feel defensive, even if that's not your intention.
You're not meaning to needle them or to, you know, poke them.
But it has that effect.
There are some classics in this arena that we would be remiss, Gretchen, if we did not mention.
People do not want to be asked when they're going to have a baby or when they're going to get married to their boyfriend or girlfriend.
They want to be asked that even less.
Yes.
What else?
Didn't you give up smoking?
Can you afford that?
When are you going to get a real job?
Oh, yeah, that is not a question people like to be asked.
So I think it's helpful also, like in terms of like thinking about the strategy of safeguards.
What are some questions that you might think of asking so that you don't, you know, ask these questions that might get people defensive.
One of my favorite questions is what's keeping you busy these days?
Because I feel like that's something where people can pick how they want to answer.
They can answer with work.
They can answer with family.
They can answer with a hobby.
It's nice and open-ended.
Yeah.
And then if they want to talk about how they're trying to get pregnant, they can talk about it.
Right.
But you're not pursuing that course of conversation.
But here's the thing.
If somebody asks you what's keeping you busy or what are you up to, I always appreciate it when people say... something not like not much right that doesn't help us have a conversation right so please give me something to work with here because sometimes you feel like oh it's i'm a more easygoing conversationalist so i say oh there's not much new to report what's going on with you but that doesn't really foster connection yeah that's like the yes and principle of improv You know, when you're doing improv and someone, you know, suggests something in a scene, you have to say yes and then continue the thought.
You're not allowed to just reject what they're saying.
Right.
Right.
Because it just like then everything just comes crashing to a halt.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
The art of conversation.
Yes.
I'm trying to teach that to Jack.
I keep telling him you need to practice the art of conversation.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember with Eliza, it's like, you need to say things like, what's your favorite color?
What movies do you like?
And she said, I like it when other people ask me those questions.
And I was like, I hear you, but it's something that we all have to learn how to do.
And so, Alyssa, the last happier holiday hack to offer is to fill your heart with love.
That sounds good.
Yeah, really try to go into the holiday season spirit and really try to think about love.
And I have my 12 personal commandments.
And one of the 12 personal commandments is there is only love.
And to really try to get yourself into that place where you can think about all the reasons you have for loving the people and traditions around you.
Yes.
I mean, if you think of all the reasons you're grateful for your family and friends and the happy memories you've shared, it makes you just more tolerant of anyone's quirks.
And it's also always good to remember to look at things from other people's perspective.
Right, as you're thinking about well, this is annoying to me, or this is difficult, or why did you have to do that?
To think about.
Well, can I think about this with love in my heart, and how would I see things differently?
And one of the things that happens is, when you do take the time to feel grateful to people or to fill your heart with love, those positive feelings kind of drive out negative feelings.
So if you're thinking about all the reasons that you have to be grateful to your in-laws, then that helps you not feel annoyed, not feel irritated because
You know, a lot of times you can elicit your thing is reframing.
And a lot of times you can reframe instead of saying oh, I hate it that we have to travel at Thanksgiving.
You can be like oh, we're so lucky that we get to travel at Thanksgiving, or I can't believe I'm hosting again.
You could be like.
Oh, I love to host, you know, and for a lot of times we have mixed feelings about things.
And so you can focus on the love that you feel.
Yes.
This can be hard to do.
This can be hard to do, especially in the holidays, when we can be super stressed and rushed for time.
But if you're happy, you're going to be able to make other people happy.
And that is crucial.
Well, and that's the mystery of my second splendid truth.
I have my eight splendid truths of happiness.
One is, one of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
And definitely, if you can bring that kind of loving, happy spirit to the holidays, you're going to have a much happier holiday than if you're like thinking about the irritations and the annoyances.
So I'm so excited to hear other people's holiday hacks.
Oh, my gosh.
I know.
I'm hoping we get hundreds of them.
Yes.
Yes.
I may have to do a holiday hack PDF.
We'll see if we get enough great ideas.
There you go.
There you go.
So let us know your various holiday hacks and what works for you.
We would love to hear them on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.
Email us at podcast at GretchenRubin.com.
Or, as always, you can go to happiercastcom, slash 145 to leave a comment or look up any kind of links or images related to this episode.
Elizabeth, you know that this year I am hosting Thanksgiving for the second time.
Huge bucket list for me.
And one of the things that makes it easier to prepare for any kind of big gathering whether it's Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving or any kind of celebration is knowing that you can go to one place that you know you're going to get high standards.
And good prices.
And this is why I love going to Whole Foods Market.
I can look for the 365 brand and I know that I'm going to get everything that I need and want for a good price, with the quality that I can count on.
Yeah, they have everything from low-price quality turkey to pantry essentials.
And Gretchen, I have to add frozen appetizers, which are perfect for someone like me who is not a great cook cook,
I love to get the quiche trio, their butterfly shrimp and breaded calamari.
It's all so easy to prepare and so delicious.
Enjoy so many ways to save on your Thanksgiving spread at Whole Foods Market.
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And you know, whenever I do this, whenever I reach out, I always think, why didn't I do this sooner?
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They wish they had reached out to a therapist sooner.
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As the air turns crisp and the holidays draw near, comfort becomes the best gift of all.
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OK, Gretch, it is time for demerits and gold stars.
What is your demerit this week?
OK, so as you know, one of the things that I do in life is I love to read and I love to take notes.
And so as I read books, I will often mark them up by using post-it notes.
If it's a library book, never fear.
But so I'll mark them as I read them.
And then I will go back and pull out any of the information that I want to keep from the books.
And I have like these huge troves of notes that I've kept.
And I really enjoy this.
But lately I have had a lot going on.
I've been traveling.
I've had like a lot of work to do and I've allowed myself to get behind on my note taking, which means that I have books piled up where I'm continuing to read without taking the notes from the books that I've already read.
And this, I know, is not a good thing for me to do for my happiness, because then I start feeling anxious, like I have all this work piling up.
Hmm.
And usually I'm pretty good about if I have a book.
I won't let myself start a new book until I have taken the notes from the previous book.
So that's kind of like my tradeoff for myself.
But I have allowed myself to get quite far behind in my note taking.
Like, I have a couple books where I have many many many, many many notes that I know I'm going to take.
And so I've created this sense of being behind.
That's kind of taking the fun out of my reading, because I feel like I'm not entitled to keep reading in a way.
And so it's making me feel kind of overworked and anxious and then also sterile.
Like I can't like I'm not like processing things properly.
And yet I just haven't been able to set aside the time to catch up, because it's grueling work in a way.
It's grueling intellectual.
Just copying things down doesn't sound that hard, but I kind of have to think through it.
And it takes a lot out of me.
It really is work.
But I know I'd be happier if I got myself caught up.
Yes.
And Gretchen, knowing you as I do, I agree.
I think you need to catch up.
I don't think you'll be right until you're caught up.
Yes.
Yes.
You're right.
So prioritize that.
I will.
You're right.
I'm going to get this done.
Okay.
But Alyssa, take us to a gold star.
What is your gold star for this week?
All right.
I am giving myself a gold star because I started Christmas shopping early this year.
Now I will say one of our hacks.
I think our first hack was decide what day you're going to start thinking about the holiday and don't worry about it before then.
And I definitely was shopping before that date.
But I don't know.
I just decided I wanted to be leisurely about it.
And so one thing I've been doing is, when I'm writing and I feel like I need a break, what I'll do for a break is spend maybe 10 minutes like browsing online, so that I'm like getting gift ideas.
And so it's like it's both a break and it's productive.
Yeah.
So I've been enjoying that.
Well, I have to say you texted me the other day to ask me my size.
So I was like, I think she might be doing some holiday shopping.
So that was my clue.
But here's my question.
I think for a lot of people using online browsing as a break from work could quickly become three hours.
How do you make sure that you don't, that you keep it to be like a limited break and not kind of eat into your, your need to be productive?
Well, you know how I do that is because I don't have that many ideas of what people might like.
So I try to think of just like one thing that I can like look up and peruse.
And then it's not like I have a million other ideas.
So it's like I have to have an idea first.
Okay.
So it's sort of limited.
I don't go down like a rabbit hole of like site to site to site to site to site.
I kind of pick one thing to examine and then I let it go.
Because it's also not like I love online shopping so much that I want to just do it for hours.
You don't.
You don't love it.
No.
No.
Right.
Yeah.
So that's a good example of knowing yourself better for you.
That is not tempting enough that it would kind of be. be a true temptation.
But for some people, that might not be a good work a day break.
Yes.
Because you could spend the rest of your life, as you say, going from site to site to site.
That is true.
But you're getting your breaks and doing your holiday shopping.
So that is a good guild star for you.
And that is it for this episode of Happier.
Remember...
Try this at home.
Sample from our holiday hacks mortgage board.
Let us know what hacks you tried and what works for you.
We want to hear your holiday hacks.
Thank you to our producer, Kristen Meinzer.
Also, thanks to Andy Bowers of Panoply.
Get in touch.
Gretchen's on Instagram at Gretchen Rubin and I'm at Liz Craft.
Our email address is podcast at Gretchen Rubin dot com.
As always.
You know what I'm going to say.
If you like this show, please be sure to tell a friend and subscribe to us on iTunes.
And for the resources, okay, be careful.
This is blatant self-promotion coming your way as you are thinking about holiday gifts.
I have to put in a plug for my books.
My 2018 Happier Page a Day calendar.
My coloring book.
My day-by-day habits journal.
I've got a whole bunch of stuff.
Happiness related.
So if you are looking for gift ideas, I offer it out there for you.
There's something for everyone.
There's a Churchill biography, you know.
They could give a whole happier basket, Gretch.
Happiness Project, The Four Tendencies.
Better Than Before.
The Coloring Book.
Wrap It All in Cellophane.
Great gift.
There you go.
There you go.
Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Kraft.
And I'm Gretchen Rubin.
Thanks for joining us.
Onward and upward.
Hi, Gretchen, Craig Robinson, and my little sister, Michelle, here.
We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you.
You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes.
What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you.
Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective.
So consider questions like this.
What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me?
Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me?
If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose?
And here's a question.
Would I like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude or would I like to have more time with friends?
You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier.
With greater self-knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values.
In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition.
For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get podcasts.
You can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships, Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents, and so many more.
