Lemonada.
Hey, grownups.
Lee here.
Boy, oh boy.
We really want to thank our listeners who chipped in over the holidays to help fund season eight of the Story Pirates podcast.
It's really clear to us that we can't do this alone.
And the generosity you showed us was an instant reminder of how incredible this community of listeners is.
It feels really amazing to know that each of you believes that all kids are creative geniuses, just like we believe.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You may notice in the coming weeks, some new names in the credits too.
We have some amazing new co-executive producers that we're so grateful have come on board.
And, by the way, the limited time cameo videos were so popular that we're keeping it going for just a little bit longer, until the end of January.
You can still get a personalized video from myself or Peter, but this is really... your last chance.
After January 31st, we won't be doing these again anytime soon.
So if there is a birthday or a special event coming up later in the year that you'd like to have a personalized video for, get your orders in now and you'll still be helping the Story.
Pirates finish our season.
And of course, all donations are completely tax deductible.
Get your personalized video or get in touch about a larger contribution at storypiratescom slash support.
That link is also in the show notes for today's episode.
Okay.
On to the show after a few more words for the grownups.
Quickly.
This way.
We're almost to the cavern.
Lord Eric, slow down.
Your pace is too great for me, Rachel the Druid.
Even our companion, Lufa the Giantess, is tired.
Very well.
We may rest but for a moment.
These caves are full of foul and treacherous things.
Yes, Lufa.
A fool's errand.
This may very well be, but if we don't succeed in our quest to slay the mighty serpent, then who will?
Only you, Lord Erik Half-Elven, can match the serpent in wits or strength or in generally looking very cool.
Please, your flattery, while very accurate, will serve us not in what lies ahead.
How do you plan to defeat so mighty a foe?
The last time we faced him, our numbers were greater and he still swept us aside, like so many uh, easily swept aside things.
This time we shall use the serpent's strength against him.
Affixed to its tail is a mighty kefir stone from which it pulls strength and kefir.
I intend to take it by stealth and rid the realm of this villainy once and for all.
Thank you, Lufa.
I am very cool.
Now come, we have a monster to slay.
Who dares enter the great serpent's lair?
Fine, the enemy has discovered us.
Quickly, we must away.
Nay, I shall not flee.
None shall escape the serpent's wrath.
I fear not that fileworm, for I am Lord Eric Half-Elven, Slayer of Monsters, Champion of the Week and all-around cool dude.
The coolest of dudes.
She said it, not me.
Charge!
It just filled me up with joy.
My mom loves the jokes.
Yo, yo, my joke.
It made me very proud about my writing.
They, like, put the girls to bed the way the grown-ups put them to bed.
I definitely think I can be more creative now.
I'm the champion!
The Sully Pirates.
Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast everyone, where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and socks.
And sometimes while driving the night shift in our land ship, we read each other's stories to pass the time.
Smitty.
Do you think Eric will be okay with us reading this comic book that he wrote about himself being a very cool elf?
Rolo, if he didn't want us to read it, then he shouldn't have left it on his seat before he went to bed.
It's pretty good so far.
Elves, giant serpents, whatever a druid is.
I think we should keep reading.
But first, do you want to listen to a story from a kid?
Do I?
Yeah, that's what I'm asking.
Oh.
Yes, I do.
Maravilloso.
Here's the author to introduce it.
I'm Carmela, and I'm seven years old, and I live in Ontario.
This is my story, The Birthday Fiasco.
Ah, finally home from a long day of work.
Meow.
And I got the perfect present for my friend's birthday today.
I'll just put it in my room to wrap later.
Close the door, kick off my kitten heels, pour myself a nice glass of tuna and watch the news.
Because Shadow the cat, you earned some meow time.
Good evening and welcome to Animal News Canada.
I'm Barbara Walwisk.
Recently, Canada has been hit by a string of birthday gift wobblies.
What?
Birthday presents have been disappearing out of homes before they can be given to the birthday animal, and no one knows who's to blame.
The only evidence left behind is some grass stains with spilled milk which, in this case, is worth crying over.
But I have a present for my friend's birthday tomorrow!
Don't worry, Shadow.
It's locked away safely in your room.
Victims report that the stolen presents were often locked safely in their rooms, allowing them to put their guards down, which only made it easier for the thief.
Oh no!
I should go check my room.
Oh, what a relief.
There in the middle of my room is nothing.
The present has been stolen.
If you have been victimized, the authorities recommend calling the Animal Buddies a ragtag group of misfits and ne'er-do-wells.
And while they don't play by the rules, they do get the job done.
Just call 555-INEED-HELP from theanimalbuddies.com.
I'll call them right now.
Is this the animal buddies?
Depends, who's calling.
I'm shadow the black cat and i had a present for my friend's birthday party stolen out of my home.
Where do you live, canada?
We're outside.
What?
We're the animal buddies?
We're here to get your present back.
You got here so fast.
Crime moves fast.
We move faster.
Let's meet the team.
I'm a rabbit.
Tech genius.
If there's one thing I love more than hacking the net, it's eating lettuce while wiggling my adorable bunny tail.
I'm Pig.
Oink.
My expertise is tracking.
There isn't a criminal in the tri-county area that can escape my sweet piggy nose.
Oink, oink.
And I'm Wizard the Dog.
I like toys and glass and wanting, and I love jumping on the couch.
Richard, enough.
Sit.
Good boy.
And I'm Fox, the leader of this motley crew of mismatched oddballs.
I make sure we're in the right place at the right time.
Now, how can we be of service?
A present was stolen out of my bedroom.
Then it's time to get to work.
Pig, assess the crime scene.
Oink, oink.
Same smells as the other crime scenes, boss.
Grass and milk.
Rabbit, hack the net.
I need to know the escape routes in and out of this house.
On it.
Richard the dog.
Oink.
Maybe just go jump on the couch or something.
You got it!
Why isn't the dog the one that sniffs?
Because the pig does that.
Why would we need two animals that sniff?
Boss, I got a hint.
It looks like there's a trail of wrapping paper leading out of the house, down the street and into the city.
You found that on the World Wide Web?
No, I can see it with my eyes.
Good work, Rabbit.
Here's some lettuce.
Well, Shadow, it looks like our work here is done.
But you didn't find the present.
No, no, our work here in your house is done.
Now our work is there in the city.
Everyone, to the Animal Buddies Extremely Sensible Hybrid.
Oh, you drive around in a hybrid car?
You name me another kind of car that gets 57 miles to the gallon and lasts for 200,000 miles.
I can't.
To the city.
All right, Animal Buddies, the hybrid is parked and safely locked.
Now, Pig, where does that wrapping paper tray lead?
Like sniff right there to the city corner jazz and milk club.
That's Mr. Bad Cows Club.
If there's two things I know about him, it's that he's a cow and he's bad.
And cows go moo.
Great contribution, Richard.
Let's head inside.
Keep your heads on a swivel, animal buddies.
Our thief is somewhere in this club.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the leader of the animal buddies, Fox.
Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Bad Cow.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the tech genius, Rabbit.
Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Bad Cow.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the best sniffer in the tri-county area, Pig.
Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Bad Cow.
Well well well, if it isn't Richard the Dog is me.
Enough introductions.
We're looking for presents, mr bad cow, birthday presents to be exact, they were stolen.
I wouldn't know anything about birthday presents fox, i'm just a simple business cow trying to run a milk club.
Wait a minute, Fox.
Milk was found at the crime scenes, and according to cyberspace, milk comes from cows.
Oink!
I also smell grass, and last time I checked, cows eat grass.
And there were grass stains found at all the crime scenes.
And cows go moo.
Great point, Richard.
And look!
The trail of wrapping paper leads right to that back room!
You don't need to worry about my back room.
It's filled with lots of, uh, think, Mr. Bad Cow.
What's the opposite of birthday presents?
Uh, funeral?
Taxes?
Rabbit, open that back room door.
It's a huge pile of birthday presents.
Looks like we got you.
You'll never stop me from stealing these presents.
He's running.
He's going out the front door.
To the street.
Where did he go?
Over there.
I think he's hiding in that dumpster.
All right, Mr. Bad Cow, we've chased you to this dumpster.
It's time to surrender.
Nice try.
I'm safe and sound here in this dumpster standing on this old broken-down couch.
No one can get me up here.
Huh?
Handcuffs?
Around my wrists?
Who could have gotten up here?
Me, Witcher the Dog.
I love jumping on couches.
Gotcha!
Why'd you do it, Mr. Bad Cow?
Because I'm not just a cow.
I'm also bad.
Fox, look at the time.
It's almost time for Shadow the Cat's friend's birthday party.
We gotta get that present to the party.
Quick, back to the hybrid.
Wow, thank you all so much for these presents.
Shadow, where's your present to me?
Well, uh... Wait, what's that noise?
It sounds like a car, but softer and more gentle.
A hybrid just crashed through my wall.
It's the animal buddies.
Here you go, Shadow's friend.
This is from Shadow.
My wall!
You just drove through my wall!
Thanks, animal buddies.
Is there anything I can do to thank you?
Just remember the next time a birthday present goes missing, it was probably Mr. Bad Cow.
Huh.
What a specific lesson.
My wall!
The end.
Wow, what a great story that was.
Truly an excellent tale.
They will say about me one day after I slayed the great serpent.
Eric, while you did indeed look very cool fighting, we were no match for him.
We had to flee.
And in the process, our companion Lufa was captured.
She fought bravely to ensure our escape. using her to lure us in that wretched snake.
But I'm not afraid.
I'm going back.
No!
Even though you are again like, really very cool and smart, and the way you found your dreadlocks with silver bands exposing your pointy elf ears is like chef's kiss.
It's simply not enough.
We cannot forsake our friend.
What would you have us do?
We must get the band back together.
But...
Would they come, after I led them into defeat all those years ago?
What alternative do we have?
Your strength and my druid magic simply aren't enough.
Hey, how does your druid magic work anyway?
You know, I'm honestly not sure.
It's pretty random.
Like, when I sneeze, I... Whoa!
I multiply.
Hey, that's useful.
Look, a feather floating upon the breeze.
I must chase it.
Goodbye forever.
Bye, extra Rachel.
Very well.
If we must get the band back together, then we must.
Where to first?
To the town of Lookiluvia.
Last I heard Megan the Bard was there performing her one-woman show.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Dire Wolf?
Very good.
To Lookiluvia!
Ah, here we are.
This village is large.
How are we going to find Megan and all- There she is, tied to a stake in the middle of the town square.
Uh-oh.
Dear townspeople, you misunderstand.
The story I was telling was but a fiction.
While being burnt at the stake for being too good at acting is quite validating, I would settle for a standing ovation.
You, townsperson with the torch, stay thy hand.
But Prince Eric, this sorceress's tongue must be silenced.
Simple peasants.
There is no reason to fear her words.
Her stories are not real.
Oh no, we understand that.
It's just that... Did you see her show?
Our local critic said it, quote, "...makes the plague look like the Renaissance."
My work is transformative.
Anyway, I shall now start act three.
Martha, that dire wolf has had one too many lamb shrinks, don't you think?
This is the only way to get her to stop.
I see.
How about instead I take her with me and we leave forever?
A standing ovation, I called it.
All right, we got Megan.
Rachel, who's next?
The troll.
Last I heard, he was hidden away in an active volcano.
That us too?
The volcano.
So she said, lady, I'm a sheep.
Megan, that was just a punchline.
You never told us the setup.
Trust me, the punchline is the best part.
No time for japes.
We are here.
But the volcano, it is gone?
There he is.
Peter the Troll.
Peter.
Huh?
Lord Eric, is that you?
What happened to the volcano?
Oh, well, I got lost inside and then hungry.
Then I... You ate the volcano?
No, I... Oh, did you say eat the volcano?
Yes, that's what I did.
Excuse me.
A little lava reflux.
Peter, I know the last time I asked you to join me in battle, things didn't... Will there be food?
Uh, yes.
I'm in.
Ah!
Excuse me.
That was easy.
Okay, who's next, Rachel?
Our final companion will not be easy to find.
Niminy, the master tinker.
They say her mechanical contraptions help conceal her whereabouts.
And that she sees all that happens in this land.
And she can only be found if she wants to.
You shouldn't believe everything you hear.
It's Nemony!
And an army of her mechanical beasts!
One of my mechanical ravens picked you up just outside of Lucky Lucia.
Ha!
I'm a real raven!
Fly, raven!
Scout ahead!
Why does it keep saying it's real so people think it is?
Nimminy, we come to ask you to- Rejoin the man to face the mighty serpent?
Yes, how did you know that?
Because Nimminy the Tinkerer has eyes everywhere.
What?
The townsperson from Lookiluvia?
He's one of your machines?
That I am.
Wait, wasn't he the one holding the torch when I was tied to the- Oh gosh, look at the time.
I better scout ahead.
Goodbye!
I'm a real human!
So, you know why we've come.
Will you join us in this fight?
What hope do you have that we stand a better chance than before?
Only a fool's hope.
I do not believe in hope.
Only logic.
I'm sorry.
I cannot join you.
But he has your sister.
Lufa.
Captured.
Landship assembled!
All of the animals are transformed.
Together, they're forming a great ship on wheels.
Well, are you coming?
Yes.
Come, my friends.
We shall use this great ship to crash upon the beast's lair like a mighty tidal wave.
Ooh, that's a good name.
Be ready, for we are coming for you, you great gasping kefir serpent.
We are coming for Lee.
We'll be right back after a few words with the grown-up.
Hey, grown-ups, Lee here.
People keep asking me about my 2026 resolutions.
Seriously, yesterday I was on the subway and this guy I didn't know was like what are your 2026 resolutions?
It was so invasive.
I mean, I told him, but still really weird, you know?
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Second on my list, getting comfy.
And that's where Bombas comes in.
They're bringing serious comfort to all the things I do.
Like, for example, sports.
Anyone that knows me knows that I'm basically an Olympic-level athlete.
And any moment I could throw away my podcast career and decide to compete professionally in almost any sport.
This year.
I really want to try handball, because I've always noticed that the center of my hand curves in this way.
That's the exact size of a ball.
And Bombas socks are perfect for playing handball too.
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Ah, what a glorious day to be me.
Lee, giant serpent, terror of the realm and devourer of Kiefer.
Of course, Lufa, my prisoner.
I'd be happy to explain the source of my power.
It's not like you could use this knowledge against me from behind those bars.
As you know, I was once a man, a man who loved kefir.
My love led me to the great kefir swamp, where I discovered the cursed kefir stone.
Did I know it would turn me into a terrible beast with an insatiable urge to conquer?
No, but I did know it would give me fresh kefir for life.
Worth it!
Totally worth it!
Great question.
Yes, I pretty much am invincible, unless I suppose someone were to knock the stone off my tail.
It's only tied on loosely, so don't tell anyone, okay?
Caw!
Huh?
What's that?
Caw!
I'm a real raven!
Oh, it's just a real crow.
Nothing to worry about.
Hmm?
What's that sound?
It sort of sounds like...
A mighty land ship crashing through your defenses?
Eric Half-Elven!
What a cool entrance.
I know.
Companions, assemble!
You are all beneath me.
My henchmen shall deal with you.
Siegfried the Orange Polar Bear!
I am the mightiest Viking polar bear.
My hide is as tough as steel.
My jaw's the size of your... Orange is my favorite flavor.
What?
No, my fur is the color orange.
I'm not an actual... What's happening?
Are you eating me?
No, no, he is.
Peter, you ate that polar bear in one bite.
Huh, that's funny.
You know, to me, he tasted more purple.
Excuse me.
Curse you, troll!
No matter.
I shall deal with you myself.
So fast, villain.
Megan the Bard?
How do you plan to defeat me?
By boring me to death with one of your stories?
You would be so lucky.
For when I was young, no more than an orphan street urchin back in the land of Kalamazoo-sha, I had a dream.
A dream that one day a family would find me.
What is happening?
That's when I met a boy.
Wait, why did you turn your hat backwards?
Hello, Megan.
Frederick I am.
And I'm here to teach you a thing or two about those mean streets.
Oh, no.
Is this a one-woman show?
Through song.
And a musical?
Eric, he's distracted.
Now!
Kiefer Stone, I have you.
Huh?
You snuck up behind me.
Don't touch that stone!
I got it.
No!
McKiefer, you'll pay for that!
Quick, Eric, grab onto a raven.
Come!
Got it.
I'm flying away with you in my claws.
I'm a real raven.
No!
Get down!
Back here!
Not so fast, dragon.
Rachel, the druid!
You think you can stop me?
You and what army?
This army.
Rachel's attack!
Hundreds of Rachel's?
Wait, stop!
You're crowding the caverns.
Where's the keeper stone?
Ha!
I'm a real raven dropping Eric off safely.
Thank you, narrating raven.
Quickly, Peter, open Lufa's cage.
Yes, I can eat it.
No, I didn't say... Oh, excuse me.
Lufa's right.
There's little time.
However, while the serpent is distracted by hundreds of rachels, I just want to say my friends couldn't have done this without you.
I know i act like i'm so cool and you really really are, objectively true, but what good is all this coolness without you, my chosen family?
Well, barf me a river, how touching.
Oh no, it's lee's general baby with a mustache, with a mastodon, That's right.
And she's hungry for good guys.
Charge!
No!
Rolo, why did you stop reading?
Did they defeat the baby with the mastodon?
What happens next?
I don't know.
The comic book just stops right there.
He didn't finish it?
Hey, Smitty.
Hey, Rolo.
Did you two happen to find a notebook up here?
There's something pretty sensitive in there, and I don't... Oh, Romo, you found it.
You didn't read it, did you?
Eric, we're dead.
Oh, no, I'm so embarrassed.
It's just a first draft.
It's not done.
And we loved it.
What?
Really?
Are you kidding me?
Serpents?
Trolls?
Narrating ravens?
This story has everything.
You have to finish it, Eric.
Yeah, we're dying to know how it ends.
Wow, that means a lot.
Thanks, you two.
You really are good friends.
Friends?
We're not friends, Eric.
We're not?
No, we're family.
And you're one very cool dude.
That is undeniably true.
Okay, as the designated grump of the family, I feel obligated to abruptly change the subject.
Should we do another story?
Yeah.
Great.
And here to introduce it is the author.
Hi, I'm Milo.
I'm 10 years old and I live in California.
This is my story, The Backwards Hack.
Gabe, Isha, we'd better get going or you're going to be late for school.
Coming.
There you are.
Ah, Gabe, your hat is on backwards.
That will never do.
Dad, it's supposed to be that way.
It's cool.
Disagree.
Hey, Dad, can you put us to bed tonight?
What?
Remember when you said, Dad, we're old enough now and we don't need you to put us to bed anymore?
Well, yeah, but sometimes every now and then, maybe we're not too old?
It doesn't work like that.
You can't just go backwards, you know?
Yeah, okay.
You heard Preston.
Let's get going.
Ah, what a lovely day.
Don't you both think so?
Ho, ho.
Mr. Sniffles, our family horse, he sure seems to think so.
Look at him galloping through our field.
Oh, look.
It's our neighbor.
Good morning, Mrs. Takeo.
Good morning, all.
What a lovely rose bush you're planting there.
Thank you.
It's called a rhapsody in blue.
Beautiful.
Oh, look.
Here's Danny the Crossing Guard.
Good morning, folks.
Hey, Danny, can I hold your sign when we cross the street?
Absolutely not.
What kind of sense would that make?
But, Dad.
Sorry there, Gabe, but your dad is right.
The sign helps me stop the car so the kids can cross safely.
Kind of the whole deal.
And there you go.
Safely on the other side of the street.
Thanks, Danny.
Dad, Preston is chasing Mr. Washington's cat again.
Preston, that's enough of that.
Hey, Dad, I was thinking it might be fun.
What if tonight we made you dinner for a change?
Children making dad dinner?
How ridiculously backwards.
Dad, watch out!
I almost stepped on this top hat.
It's funny looking.
Dad, you should put it on.
I can't go around putting just any old hat on my head.
It won't do.
Aww.
There's the bell.
Have a good day.
Come on, Isha.
Let's go.
Bye, Dad.
And here I go.
Back to the ranch.
That wind is really something.
The tips of my ears are beginning to freeze.
I guess it wouldn't hurt if I just pop this top hat on top of my head for a few moments for warmth.
Oh, strange.
It feels like something changed.
Ha, that's silly.
Now to walk home like everything is normal because everything is normal.
Preston, now don't go chasing Mr. Washington's cat again.
I can't believe what I'm seeing.
Mr. Washington's cat is chasing Preston.
That is so backwards.
Get out of here, cat.
Meow.
Danny, the crossing guard?
Did you see that?
How strange.
Danny?
Danny, what are you doing frozen in the middle of the crosswalk?
I can't move.
I gotta do what the car sign says.
That car is holding a stop sign on its antenna so other cars can move across the street?
Danny, do you need help?
No, can't move.
Must not move.
Okay, well, I'm going to, because I gotta go.
No, the people have to stop.
You're doing it all backwards.
That was so strange.
Hello again, neighbor.
Good morning, Mrs. Takeo.
Say, have you noticed some things seem to be a little backwards today?
Can't say that I have, but my head's been in the garden, you know.
I say, is that rose bush moving towards you?
And now it's picking you up?
And now it's turning you upside down?
It's planting your head in the ground.
This is normal.
The gardens are planting people.
It's all backwards.
I've got to get out of here.
See you later.
Come on, Preston.
Finally, we are at home.
Let's just pretend that none of that ever happened.
Preston, I see you have your leash in your mouth.
I'm sorry, but I'm not going back out there.
Hey, what are you doing?
You're putting your harness on me and taking the leash and... We're going on a walk.
You're taking me for a walk?
Stop pulling!
I don't want to walk on all fours like this.
This is... Actually, this is kind of fun.
Maybe today isn't so bad after... Ow!
My hand hit a rock.
Preston, why are you going so fast?
You expect me to jump over that fence?
Mr. Snipples, maybe he can help me out of this.
What are you doing?
You're putting the saddle on my back and...
You don't expect to ride me, do you?
Oh, there's a horse on my back.
You can talk and... Dad, we're home.
Smells good.
What are you making for dinner?
Welcome home, kids.
Dad?
Looks like you decided to wear that hat we saw on the ground today after all.
Yes, well, I guess I'm not right about everything.
Wait, if you're in here, then who's making dinner?
I've had quite a day.
I saw cats chasing dogs.
I saw a car with a stop sign.
I saw Mrs. Takeo plant herself in the garden.
Whoa, what?
And you know what I realized?
What?
That I've been really uptight about the way everything should be.
I guess that means dinner's ready?
Where did Mr. Sniffles get that dinner bell?
And where did Preston get that kiss-the-cook apron?
Kids, this is just the way things are now.
Why don't you take that hat off and we can sit down and eat?
Okay.
I am super hungry.
Whoa, Preston went back to his dog bed.
And Mr. Sniffles went back in the barn.
Oh, thank goodness.
Oh, I think it's over.
Let's dig in before the food starts eating us.
That couldn't happen, right?
Honestly, I don't know.
The end.
And now, Lee speaks with the author.
So, Milo, you wrote the backwards hat.
Yeah.
Can you tell me how you got the idea for that story?
I thought it would be funny if, like, roles switched.
Like, dogs walking in here with the, like, kids putting grown-ups to sleep.
Are there any situations in your life where you would wear the backwards hat?
Maybe kids teaching teachers.
Okay.
Okay.
But I want to warn you that teaching a classroom is a lot of work.
Yeah, I can see that.
Are you ready to create lesson plans, my friend?
Not really.
I think that it's funny, because what the man discovers in your story is kind of the same, in that there are some unintended consequences for things going backwards, right.
Yeah.
Like what would be the unintended consequence for kids putting grownups to bed, do you think?
They wouldn't be very good at it.
They'd be like, they'd like put the grown-ups to bed the way the grown-ups put them to bed.
Yeah, grown-ups don't need to be put to bed that way, right?
Yeah.
And so then maybe the grown-ups wouldn't fall asleep, and then the kids would stay up too late, and then everybody would be grumpy the next day.
Good point.
What do you think that about when you see someone doing something and you're like I should flip with them?
I'd do that better.
I'm like, usually it's when doing like a speech or on classes doing a play.
So during the auditions, I was like that too.
It's a play about Fred Koyamatsu.
About who?
Fred Koyamatsu, like a guy who stood up for Japanese people's rights.
Oh, that's amazing.
Our teacher likes him a lot.
I bet that he would have some things in the world that he would like to flip backwards.
Definitely.
In terms of your play.
Do you feel like you could switch roles with the director and tell everyone what to do?
Our director in this case is our teacher.
And it took her 21 years to finally get the play perfect.
I don't think I'll be able to do that.
Did she write the play?
Yeah, she wrote it all herself.
She had help from her friend.
Whenever she talked to her, she cried because they were really good friends.
So this play must be really meaningful to her.
Yeah, definitely.
She's like, we have to carry it on for my friend's legacy.
Oh, that's so sweet.
And do you feel like that message from your teacher is going to change the way you and the other kids approach the play?
100%.
Because a lot of my friends feel bad for her and know what it feels like when one of their relatives or friends moves away or they never see them again.
So you know how painful it is.
And that makes me think they'll do good.
Wow.
I bet this play is going to be incredibly powerful for everybody.
It usually is.
Milo, it has been so wonderful to talk to you about your story and this upcoming play and everything else.
Thanks for talking to me today.
Thanks, Lee.
Bye.
Bye.
We'll be right back after a few words from the grown-up.
Welcome back to Story Love, where we take stories written by kids and we read them and talk about them.
Hello, Peter.
Hello, Lee.
Would you like to talk about some stories today?
Yes, please.
That's why I showed up.
All right.
Did you want to read this one first?
I did.
How did you know that?
I think you told me before we started.
I don't remember anything.
All right, go ahead.
Here's our first story, Lee.
It comes to us from a 10-year-old from Idaho named Finola.
And Finola's story is called Theater Class with Sleepy Sally.
Oh, yeah.
I know where this is going.
And I like it.
This story's about three characters.
The theater teacher, Sleepy Sally, and the narrator.
Who is the N-A-R-O-R-A-T-O-R?
Narrator.
Uh, me.
Ahem.
Ahem.
One sunny morning in Flurby Drive, sleepy Sally was rushing about getting her things for theater, aka falling asleep every two seconds.
When she finally got there, they were already through half of class.
Luckily, she was on time for auditions.
She auditioned for a cat named Snuffles.
Two weeks later...
Yay, I got the part.
Thanks, theater teacher.
It's all right.
And by the way, my name is May.
Yes, yes, I know.
No, no, not you, narrator.
Oh, okay.
So, the day of the play, it was Sleepy Sally's time for a solo, and she was so tired that she tripped up the stairs.
As the lights shined on her.
The warmth from them made her even more tired, and she fell asleep on the stage.
Wow.
The director had to wake her up and shoo her off the stage.
Mae was so embarrassed.
And the end wow, really great.
Read again, peter.
Um, incredible story.
The idea of falling asleep on stage is comic gold.
Yeah, i'm wondering if we can figure out like, what we know about this play or musical.
I mean, first of all, i think it is a musical Because there's a solo.
Right.
Unless that means a monologue, but let's take it at the text verbatim.
It's a musical, I think.
Yes.
Also, it says she auditioned for a cat named Snuffles.
Does that mean that's the role she auditioned for?
Or was the person running the auditions a cat named Snuffles?
At first, I thought that there was a cat at a table saying, go ahead and sing your song, meow.
That's what I thought too.
But the theater teacher was probably that person and the role was probably a cat named Snuffles.
I think so too.
And what sealed that for me was that the director wakes her up on stage and shoos her off the stage.
As you would a cat.
True.
Also when she was on the stage asleep and the way Finola wrote about the warmth of the lights really gave me the picture of a cat in a window finding a sunbeam.
Yep, yep.
Very good.
Finola, incredible story.
Yes.
I really love it.
It's so funny.
Thank you so much for sending it in.
Lee, do you want to read this next story?
All right.
This next story is from an eight-year-old in Michigan named Cirrus, and it's called Nuclear Nosepicker.
Once there was a boy who picked his nose.
He took his boogers and made a super big ball.
Then he put some nuclear waste on the giant booger ball.
A few moments later, it turned into Boogerman.
The nose-picking boy went into his room and saw Boogerman.
He saw a scary, bright green, slimy, two-armed, dumb blob.
Yeah.
Suddenly, Nose Picking Boy ran to his parents.
He told his parents to look in his room.
The parents were busy looking at the Halloween costumes.
They all ran to the boy's room to see the Boogerman.
His mom and dad did not see the Boogerman, but the Nose Picking Boy did.
The parents are confused.
The Nose Picking Boy is worried.
The Boogerman has feelings too.
He feels lonely.
In the other room, Nose Picking Boy's sister was making a giant booger ball.
She found a nuclear waste can.
Just before she put it on her booger ball, Nose Picking Boy burst in.
He loudly said, No!
But he was too late.
She dropped the nuclear waste can.
They walked out of the room to talk about the booger ball mixed with nuclear waste.
Nose-picking girl walked into her room and screamed, there is a big booger woman.
She ran to her parents and told them about the booger woman.
All of it.
They all went to her room.
But the parents did not see the booger woman.
The parents were disappointed.
The nose-picking girl was worried.
The booger woman also has feelings.
She feels lonely.
The booger man went to the nose-picking girl's room.
The booger woman saw booger man and fell in love.
Then then the end, whoa lee, emotional roller coaster.
Talk about the rom-com of the year.
Okay, i hear so many questions about this one that this brother and sister both just like to, for fun, sit around in the room picking copious amounts of boogers so much that you could make a giant ball, big enough to turn into a person.
Sure um listen, don't tell anyone, but i've picked a nose in my day, your own Mostly.
Gross.
But I don't think I've ever done anything this gross.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I'm personally okay with picking noses if you wash your hands after.
Yeah.
You don't flick it or sculpt it.
Can I also just say, Booger Woman is really satisfying to say.
Booger Woman.
Booger Woman.
Booger Woman.
Booger Woman.
Booger Woman.
Serious, incredible story.
We love this story about the bright green slimy two-armed dumb blob.
Thank you so much for sending it in.
Peter, let's go on to our last story.
Would you read it for us?
Lee, this one comes to us from an 11-year-old from Vermont named Leah.
And Leah's story is called The Goo on My Window.
Eek!
There's a strange horrendous oogly-boogly ishy squatchy gooey-globby moist, towelette-flavored streak of shining white with a little brown and green in it.
Goo!
So gross.
On my window.
It's making my town of Burgly-Burginson very upset.
Whatever shall I do?
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
Yes, hello?
I say as I pick up my hard pickle telephone.
That was the sound of a telephone being picked up.
A hard pickle phone.
As I pick up my hard pickle phone.
I hear you're having trouble with dodo bird snot said a coconut drink hat wearing squishy pig-faced man named Jeffrey Bologna.
Don't ask me how I know that.
Uh, no, Sir Geoffrey Bologna, it's goo.
That's what I said!
Suddenly, he hangs up with a loud, Bangalicious!
Mmm.
That was a very well-good conversation.
Don't correct my grammar, Daddy.
Now, back to staring at the goo with a donkey on my butt.
Three days later.
All clean.
It only took five screwed screws a capybara keychain, the president's address, a green flavored popsicle, a 243 millimeter crochet hook, a paper mache flower and a pineapple shoelace from New Jersey.
But your window is goo free, says a random rat named Bitsy Boing Boing.
The end, said the goo.
Wait, the goo?
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
Leah, has ever a more chaotic collection of details? been thrown together in a story?
That somehow still held my attention and my focus, and I get it.
I understood.
The level of detail is just fantastic.
I think the way that Leah is navigating this really chaotic story is by constantly surprising us with new characters.
Right?
Because it's like, oh, really, truly gross description of goo on a windshield.
And then they're like, Burgly Bergensen.
And you're like, what?
Excuse me?
That's the town.
And then they're like, Sir Geoffrey Bologna.
And you're like, Excuse me?
And then Bitsy Boing Boing.
She doesn't reveal who is saying this line until after all these weird details.
And at the very end you go, says a random rat named Bitsy Boing Boing.
I'm very excited for a future moment where you and I are in rehearsal for the Story Powers podcast and one of us tries to correct the other's grammar and the other one of us remembers to say Don't correct my grammar, Daddy.
You know that this is Leah, the author, stopping him in the middle of the story, perhaps to talk to her own dad.
Leah...
See what you conjured?
Yeah.
That was great.
Don't correct my grammar, daddy.
Leah, I love your story.
We love all these stories.
Thank you so much for sending them in to read all of today's Story Love Stories.
Just head to storypirates.com.
And guess what, grown-ups?
You can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube.
And grown-ups, Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show.
It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program.
To find out more about Story Love, our digital creative writing program, Story Quest, or our non-profit arm Story Pirates Changemakers.
Check the show notes for links.
Until then, stay creative and stay kind.
The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka.
This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree.
Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City.
Additional production by Brett Toobin.
Theme song by Bobby Lord.
Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell.
Our head writer is Peter McNerney.
Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson.
Contributing writers are Lee Overtree and Sam Rogal.
Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
This episode features performances by Abel Arias, Eric Austin, Matt Cox, Chris Ferry, Christina Grospeach, Gabby Hornick, Quinton Johnson, Rachel Jorofsky, Caroline Lux, Martha Marion, Peter McNerney, Joshua Nasser, Megan O'Neill, Lee Overtree, Sam Reef Passeroo, Peter Russo, Samantha Turrett, Jamie Watson, Nimany Ware, and Matt Cimbrano.
And the award for best actor to play a huge snake in a podcast that's meant for children, but also adults listen to it is Lee Overtree.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
Oh, this statue is a little heavier than I thought it would be.
Oh, yes.
Just kidding.
It's not heavy.
I want to thank the Academy for this huge honor.
I want to thank my fellow nominees.
Any one of you could be up here right now instead of me.
Seriously, you guys are really talented.
And most of all, I want to thank my inspiration, without whom I could never have pulled this off.
Of course, I'm talking about snakes.
Just, you know, generally snakes.
You're so slithery and smooth and you sneak around and you're kind of scary, but also you're just animals.
I will be forever grateful to you, snakes of the world.
Oh, they're playing me off.
Guess that's it.
Thank you, snakes.
