Sheldon hello you.
Okay, I'm on vacation.
What do you think?
Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Leonard told me to stay.
Oh well, good boy, Where are you going?
A ton of errands to run.
I need to make copies of my headshot, send them off to agents, and sign up for a new acting class.
Have fun.
Okay.
You want to come with me?
Really?
Come on, boy.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Get in the car.
Come on.
So, what did you think of your first funeral?
Well, I don't want to be a jerk, but it was kind of a bummer.
Yeah, well, when I die, you can rent a bounce house.
You think about dying?
No, I think more about if I'd have any regrets.
What would you regret?
You know, that I didn't travel more, take more risks, learn another language.
You know Klingon.
That's true.
No, I meant that as a regret.
I just thought of one more.
What's that?
I regret not saying yes when you asked me to marry you.
Well, it just wasn't the right time.
Yeah.
And this is also not the right time.
Do not propose.
What?
I know that face.
That's your proposed face.
I was not going to propose.
It's already two to one.
What's two to one?
I proposed twice.
You proposed once.
Two to one.
Oh, my.
It's not a contest.
I don't know what you're upset about.
I'm the one who's losing.
Okay.
Fine.
Would you feel better if I proposed so you could turn me down again?
Yeah, I think I would.
Okay.
Leonard, will you marry me?
Hmm.
No, don't you dare.
You reject me right now and tie things up.
It's just such a big decision.
I don't want to have any regrets.
I'm gonna feel like such a vixen wearing jewelry that doesn't have a list of medications I'm allergic to.
Benny, how's it going over there?
Good.
I'm just having a little trouble with the glue.
How do you not know how to use glue?
Did you ditch preschool?
Yeah, only because I was dating a second grader.
Hello, everyone.
Okay, let me have it.
Let's hear all the Raj is a girl jokes.
No, Bernadette told me it isn't nice and I'm not allowed.
Thank you.
So I won't be making fun of you or the things you like or the fact that you just want to have fun.
Howie, stop.
Come on, look at what I'm making.
It's actually pretty nice.
I'm making a bracelet.
Yeah, I'm just making a mess.
You know, instead of beads and glue, you guys can use my soldering iron.
You'd be able to make much cooler stuff.
Well, I think we're doing just fine, thank you.
Actually, I'd kind of like to try that.
Me too.
I'll be right back.
When did I have pistachios?
Isn't that Professor Proton?
Oh, yeah.
Look at him, just standing in line like he wasn't moderately famous 30 years ago.
Let's go say hello.
Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.
I'm not going to bother him.
I'm going to talk to him.
He thinks there's a difference.
Arthur.
Arthur, it's me, Sheldon Cooper.
But you may not remember because of your advanced age.
Trust me, I remember.
This is my girlfriend, Amy.
Amy, this is television legend Arthur Jeffries.
His science show inspired millions of children.
Hold on.
You have a girlfriend?
Yes, and I've heard so much about you.
Hey, look.
We're wearing the same orthopedic shoes.
Can't believe I dress like a celebrity.
Okay, I get it now.
Dr. Jeffries, hello again.
Leonard Hofstetter.
Oh, oh, right.
I remember your girlfriend.
Is she here?
No, she's not.
So what prescription are you getting filled?
Sheldon.
Yeah, no, wait.
I want to guess.
Don't tell me.
I wasn't going to tell you.
Sheldon, come on.
No, no, no, I'm really good at this.
All right, give me a hint.
Does it involve difficulty initiating a stream of anything?
Well, given my age, that's more than just a lucky guess.
Hey, Sheldon, let's go mock the people buying homeopathic medicine.
You love that.
But I'm hanging out with my friend, and we're having fun.
Look how happy he is.
Barca doesn't have those kind of resources.
No, and that's why he had Aaron Pace rewired.
I'm so proud of you.
You haven't even gotten to my scene yet.
I know, but you're gonna be a TV star and you haven't left me yet.
That takes guts.
I don't know about you, but I'm very uncomfortable with all this.
Why?
I've never seen this show before, and now I'm starting with episode 246?
It's unnatural.
Just think of the first 245 as the prequel.
All right.
Okay, shh.
Guys, guys, this is it.
I guess it's you and me, kid.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to make peace.
What, good?
Good.
Are you kidding me?
What's wrong?
Well, the diner scene.
Where's my diner scene?
Look, don't ask me until I see the prequel.
I'm lost.
There's supposed to be a big scene with me and Mark Harmon, but it's gone.
What happened?
They must have cut it.
Oh, Penny.
I'm sorry.
That stinks.
Sure you were great.
This doesn't make any sense.
I mean, I thought I did a really good job.
I've been studying how to make people laugh.
They say that comedy is tragedy plus time.
Let's tickle some ribs.
Hmm.
Sorry, did I startle you?
Yes, but at this point, pretty much any customer does.
What can I do for you?
Oh, I need a little help.
I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
Wow.
What happened?
That man got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Don't let the Riddler know that.
It's a comic book joke.
Or maybe it's not.
Uh, well, it's pretty rare.
Can you give me a few days to track it down?
I was kind of hoping to get it before Howie comes home from work.
What's the hurry?
Well, he's always saying I should be more careful with my curling iron and it seems like a dangerous precedent to let him think he can be right.
Well, I'll do what I can, but I can't make any promises.
No, I do work at a pharmaceutical company.
If you can make this happen today, I can hook you up with anxiety medication, antidepressants.
Really?
Do you have any of these?
I just feel like everything is falling apart.
Come on, it's okay.
No, it's not okay.
Look at me, okay?
I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago, and I'm still doing it.
I can't quit because guess what?
I can't do anything else, and I finally get my big break, and it goes away.
Such a mess.
No, you're not.
Really?
Because this morning at Starbucks, a pair of old underwear fell out of my pant leg.
And it wasn't the only one in there.
Okay, listen to me.
This is just a minor setback.
No, it's not, okay?
I've been out here for, like, ten years.
I have nothing to show for it.
Well, you have me.
You're right.
I do have you.
Hmm.
Let's get married.
What?
Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me?
Um... Did you seriously just say, um?
You know, I love you, but you're drunk and sad and feeling lost.
Okay, so you don't want to marry me?
That is not what I said.
No, forget it.
I take it back.
Offer's off the table.
Who's in the mood to laugh?
Sheldon, it's not a great time.
What do you want?
Hello to you too.
I'm sorry, but this is important.
What is it?
Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case.
And Back to the Future 3 was, get this, in the Back to the Future 2 case.
So?
So?
Did you do that?
Or am I in the house with an intruder?
Sheldon, I gotta go inside.
It's getting rough out here.
You're dodging the question.
I knew it was you.
What was that?
What was what?
This isn't a very good connection, but it sounded like someone just released a kraken.
Okay!
I'm hanging up now!
You know there's no such thing as a crime!
Penny!
Penny!
Penny!
What's the matter?
Um... Well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard.
And that might be causing you to have bad dreams.
Like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.
Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?
To be honest, I did.
Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case.
Leonard did it.
Good night.
No, wait.
Perhaps I should sleep here.
So you don't miss Leonard as much?
Because you're being kind of a baby about it.
You know what?
That would make me feel better.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Good night.
I'm so glad you guys are friends again.
I'm glad you and I are friends again too.
Which reminds me, this came in the mail and I want you to have it.
50 cents off of Vagisil.
Think of me when you apply it.
Can I just say, I've missed all of us hanging out together.
Yeah.
Me too.
Um, since when can Kooth or Polly talk in front of the girls without a beer?
Oh, that happened right after you left.
And no one told me?
Can't believe we forgot to tell him.
Think of Sheldon when you apply it.
Pardon me.
Excuse me.
Hi, Stuart.
Hi, Sheldon.
Pardon me.
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character like Stuart is repellent.
No offense, Stuart.
None taken.
Although repellent is kind of a strong word.
I'm sorry this causes you discomfort, but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship, I can put myself in any repellent situation I want.
Um, again, Stuart, please, you're being rude.
Anything else?
I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
I'm listening.
With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
Interesting.
Now try it without the quadruple negative.
You're being impossible.
Hi, Stuart.
Fine.
Amy... will you be my girlfriend?
Yes.
Well, that's enough of that.
Sorry to interrupt.
You two enjoy your date.
Here's a dollar for your troubles.
Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids.
Are you going with Sheldon?
No.
I have no interest in model trains, stores that sell them, nor their heartbreaking clientele.
Oh.
Well, I have some work to do, so... I can't imagine that would disturb me.
Carry on.
Okay.
Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?
Not really, no.
All righty then.
I guess I'll just get started.
Leonard, please, I don't need the running commentary.
Yo.
You okay?
Oh, sure.
I thought you were reading.
I was.
Now I'm thinking about what I read.
You all right, Leonard?
You seem very uncomfortable.
I'm fine.
Should I go?
I've been told sometimes I overstay my welcome.
Well, who told you that?
Well, most recently, my gynecologist.
You stay as long as you'd like.
I'm glad to hear you say that because I'm having a wonderful time.
I said the same thing to my gynecologist.
One moment.
I'm conducting an experiment.
With Dungeons and Dragons dice?
Yes.
From here on in, I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best enlighten and amaze.
Page 14, item 7.
So, what's for dinner?
A side of corn succotash.
Interesting.
Um, Howard, can I see you for a minute, please?
I don't want to show any more of your friends how I can fit in the booster seats.
Uh, no, that's not it.
Just come with me, please.
Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with. a pitcher of margaritas.
Do you really want that?
That's the great thing.
It doesn't matter.
My mind is freed up to think about more important things.
What's it thinking about now?
Hamburgers and lemonade.
Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.
Don't thank me.
Thank the dice.
They told me what percentage of my face to shave.
Why are you still doing this?
Because it's working.
In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I've co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.
You left out gut-chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants.
The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.
He looks friendly.
I think he might be someone's pet.
No, Bernadette, don't be a hero.
Aw, he's a sweetie.
Yes, he's very sweet.
Now, slowly and carefully, flush him down the toilet.
Sheldon, the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it, just like you did with the mailman.
Every year, tens of people around the world are killed by birds.
I'm not going to be another statistic.
Look how sweet he is.
Come over and say hi.
Come on.
You can do it.
Don't be scared.
Oh, just pet the bird, you big baby.
I did it.
I actually did it.
Okay, now flush him.
Okay, I gotta, I just, I gotta ask.
What makes you think that your relationship is so wonderful and ours isn't?
For starters, we enjoy spending time together.
So do we.
And I've seen you guys ignore each other for hours doing totally different things.
It's called parallel play.
Yeah, toddlers do that.
Not as well as we do.
You believe this guy has to be the best at everything?
So what?
Why do you even care?
Oh, listen to them.
Not even married and the honeymoon's over.
Whatever.
You can't even go on a date without checking your relationship agreement.
If you've got a problem basing a relationship on a contract, I'd like to tell you about 13 plucky colonies that entered a relationship agreement called the US Constitution.
And it may not be cool to say so, but I think that love affair is still pretty hot today.
It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now, because there's about to be a fire.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Oh, the girls really did a nice job.
Oh, I know I wasn't into this before, but I'm so glad I get to take you to your first prom.
What makes you think I didn't go to my prom?
I went.
Well, who'd you go with?
I took a little lady I like to call Loneliness.
Aw.
No, it's all right.
We ended up having a threesome with her friend Humiliation.
Well, if I would have been there and saw you alone, I would have asked you to dance.
No, you wouldn't have.
Well, you don't know that.
It was before my growth spurt.
What?
That already happened?
Uh... Very funny.
Well, you wouldn't have asked me either.
I would have asked you.
In my head.
On the way home.
While I was having a good cry.
I've invented a science joke.
Would you like to hear it?
Sure.
How many Edison's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many?
Who cares?
He stole the idea and doesn't deserve his own joke.
Is that really true?
Of course.
That's how you know it's a good joke.
It not only entertains, it informs.
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Barry, how many Edison's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Did you know Edison didn't actually invent the white bulb?
What do you want, Barry?
Just wanted to drop this off as a little thank you for Amy.
Well, what's this for?
Your idea really helped me out.
My white cone quantization paper's online already.
The response has been amazing.
Well, that's fascinating.
I can't wait to read it.
Yo, no, me as well.
Please email it to sheldon at bazinga dot biz.
Why dot biz?
Because I just gave you the business.
And also bazinga.com was taken.
Excuse me.
Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?
Oh, no, you're understandably terrified.
You don't allow me to explain.
45 days ago, I embarked on a railroad journey of healing because my university was making me do string theory.
My favorite comic book store burned down.
And when my roommate got engaged, my girlfriend wanted to move in with me, which was no doubt a ploy just to see my well, excuse my language, but my bathing suit parts.
Sir, may I use your phone?
I don't think so.
I understand that I'm half naked, but there is a reasonable explanation.
While I slept in my sleeper car, all my possessions were stolen.
Now.
Typically I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pajamas are the sleep pants of the man.
I'll have you know Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him.
My good man now, before you walk away.
I know that I may appear deranged, but I am in fact a world-renowned physicist.
Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion.
Go ahead, ask.
Bosons have integer spin.
Fermions have half integer spin.
My legs are getting cold.
Why won't anybody help me?
What difference does it make if Leonard goes to Wil Wheaton's party?
You know, Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy.
Mortal enemy?
Mm-hmm.
Sheldon, I know you're a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench, but... you really have a mortal enemy?
In fact, I have 61 of them.
Would you like to see the list?
Oh, say no, say no, say no, say no.
You just got off the list.
Would you like back on it?
So just take a moment.
It's on a five and a quarter inch floppy.
A floppy disk?
I started the list when I was nine.
How did Wil Wheaton get on the list?
Oh, cheesecake.
You're just as good as a woman, even though I can't have sex with you.
Try throwing it in the microwave for a few seconds.
Should I use the restroom or wait until we get home?
Come on.
Papa needs to void his bladder.
Oh, that's not what you want to see after three buttermilks.
Here you go, boys.
I'll pick it up when you're ready.
Thanks for dinner, buddy.
Yeah, real biggie.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Oh, and don't cheap out on the tip.
We all know you're loaded now.
Good thing I drew this up.
What's that?
I present to you the relationship agreement.
A binding covenant that, in its 31 pages enumerates, iterates and codifies the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper, here and after known as the boyfriend, and Amy Farrah Fowler, here and after known as the girlfriend.
That's so romantic.
Mutual indemnification always is.
Why don't you start perusing while I set up my notary stamp?
Section five, hand holding.
Hand holding is only allowed under the following circumstances.
A, either party is in danger of falling off a cliff, precipice, or ledge.
B, either party is deserving of a hearty handshake after winning a Nobel Prize.
C, moral support during flu shots.
Seems a bit restrictive.
Yeah, yeah.
Feel free to retain a lawyer.
Hey, sweetheart.
How's it going?
Uh, not so good.
We have to talk.
Oh?
Sounds serious.
What's up?
OK.
Uh, here it is.
I met this girl.
And I kissed her.
And I feel terrible about it.
But it's done.
It's never going to happen again.
And I am so, so sorry.
No, no.
Relax.
It's OK.
It is.
Yeah, these things happen.
They happened to everybody.
Oh, my God.
You are amazing.
I mean, I don't deserve you.
What do you mean, everybody?
Leonard, I didn't know if I should tell you, but I kind of cheated on you, too.
Kind of?
A couple of weeks ago, I slept with my ex-boyfriend.
So I guess we both messed up a little.
No, no, I messed up a little.
You messed up a lot.
Well, it's not a competition.
Oh, yeah, it is, and you won.
Good morning, handsome.
Morning, Mom.
It's me.
Yes, it is, and you're so pretty in the morning.
Your mom and I made you breakfast.
Oh, wow.
So you guys are getting along?
Yeah, I guess.
We're very different people, Howard, so communication's a little tricky.
Does he like the pancakes?
He didn't try them yet!
Is there any butter?
It's butter-flavored syrup.
So, what's the word?
He wants butter!
It's butterflamin' syrup!
I just told him that!
I don't need any butter.
If you want butter, I'll get you butter.
Well, I guess I'll cut these by myself.
Be sure to check the mail.
How many times are you gonna tell me?
What's with you?
Nothing.
It's not suspicious that I'm fixating.
It's consistent with my personality.
Right.
Hey, guys.
More Halloween candy?
Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday?
Oh, yeah, that's gone.
It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS sit at the same time.
Leonard doesn't have time to chat.
He has to get the mail.
Will you relax?
I'll get it in a minute.
Hey, how was work?
Open the mail.
Excuse me.
A couple of circulars.
Nothing important.
What's with him?
Hang on.
You might be from Texas, but I'm from New Jersey.
Test my ringtone?
That really is a good song.
Yeah, there's a reason he's Sir Elton, John.
They don't make you a knight for writing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. for breakfast.
Ma, I told you I have a video conference with NASA.
I said don't bother me.
Oh, listen to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut.
Yes, please listen to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut.
Hey, good morning.
Hey, Howard.
Thanks for getting up so early.
No problem, Dr. Massimino.
The guys here call me Mass.
Mass, that's a cool nickname, because force equals mass times acceleration.
Yeah, it's just short for Massimino.
Anyway, the plan for this morning is to go over the... Sorry, my phone.
What is that?
Is that Rocket Man?
Yeah, my ringtone.
Kind of my favorite song, Rocket Man.
Howard, your Froot Loops are getting soggy!
Not now!
Who's that?
My mom.
Sorry.
No problem, Froot Loops.
While he was telling you things, did he mention he owns not one, but two Star Trek uniforms?
Really?
Yeah.
Wears them.
Not just for Halloween.
Hey, pal.
You didn't see me telling Kevin that you thought Cold Wars were only fought in winter.
Okay, then I'll return the favor and I won't tell... Laura.
Laura, that half the dirty movies you own are animated.
When you were telling Kevin about your acting career, did you mention your long-running role as waitress in a local production of The Cheesecake Factory?
Did you tell her about your lucky asthma inhaler?
Oh, yeah?
Spell asthma.
A-S.
Take me home.
Maybe I'm not done hanging out with... You're right, it's getting late.
A moment.
We just had Thai food.
In that culture.
The last morsel is called the Grangai piece and it is reserved for the most important and valued member of the group.
Thank you all for this high honor.
I've seen pictures of your mother.
Keep eating.
All right, honey, if we're gonna make the movie, we should go.
This may be hard for you to hear, but when I say honey, I mean my fiancée.
Yeah, well, now it means her.
It's okay if he wants to come.
Fine, but next time we get a sitter.
This wasn't the reaction I expected when I told you I was gonna be an astronaut.
What was gonna happen?
Honestly?
Sex?
Howard.
Do you realize what a big deal this is?
What an honor it is to be chosen to go into space?
Yeah, I get it.
I just wish you included me in the decision.
We're supposed to be partners.
We're supposed to be a team.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
Let's try this again.
Bernadette, an opportunity has come up that impacts both of us, and I'd like to discuss it.
Okay.
I've been offered a chance to go up to the International Space Station for three weeks.
What are your thoughts on that?
Well, first of all, thank you for including me in the decision-making process.
Hey, we're a team.
So what do you think?
No.
Leonard, check it out.
I bought an N-Gage locomotive, half the size of H.O.
Look, fits in my mouth.
Sounds like you had a great night.
I did.
How was yours?
Not bad.
I had a lot more fun with Amy than I thought I would.
What exactly do you mean by that?
Turns out she really knows how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time.
Although, truth be told, my groin's a little worse for wear.
Ow!
Why'd you do that?
To send a message.
She is not for you.
What?
Not for you.
I see you guys have found my little treasure.
Yeah.
It's okay, I guess.
It's okay?
It's magnificent.
What do you want for it?
Well, it's hard to put a price on something that's a copy of something that was on pay cable.
For my friends, let's say $250.
Oh, that's pretty steep.
Well, it's a limited edition.
They only made 8,000 of these bad boys.
It's only 8,000?
We're wasting precious time.
Buy it.
Hang on.
Can you do any better?
Are you kidding?
I'm already giving you the friends and family discount.
Oh, did you hear that?
We're getting the friends and family discount.
We are honored and we will take it.
Slow down.
$200.
What are you doing?
$250 is already the discounted price.
Will you shut up?
I'll tell you what, I'll go $235.
Nope, maybe another time.
Okay, $225 is my final offer.
Take it, take it.
$200.
Man, you're killing me.
We're killing you.
I can't breathe.
210, and I'm losing money.
Oh, no, we can't let him lose money, Leonard.
I'm so sorry.
210, and you throw in the Iron Man helmet.
Are you crazy?
That helmet's signed by Robert Downey Jr.
So?
Okay, if you're gonna question the importance of an actor's signature on a plastic helmet from a movie based on a comic book, then all of our lives have no meaning.
Okay, fine.
Just the sword, 210.
Thank you.
I can eat meat this week.
See that?
I just saved us 40 bucks.
I've long said what you lack in academic knowledge you make up for in street smarts.
You want me to wrap it?
No, it's okay.
I'm gonna stab my friend in the chest.
I've reconsidered.
You can't work where I work.
Enjoy the rest of your evening.
Sheldon, I already signed the contract.
I cashed a check. you are not going to come out of this looking good.
Charlotte, I don't understand.
I thought you said you were fine with it.
I was, but that was before Howard explained to me how awful it would be if he had to work with his significant other.
He said what?
Now, don't be insulted.
He just thinks too much of you would be mind-numbingly tedious.
Excuse me, I need to have a chat with my husband.
Yeah, now what, keep it short.
From what I gather, brevity is your friend.
So are we good here?
Listen to me, Sheldon misunderstood.
What I meant was if we work together, there'd be too much of me for you.
Not the other way around.
Howard, if you're going to lie to your wife, don't start the sentence with Sheldon misunderstood.
That's a dead giveaway.
Okay, fine.
I did say that, and I think it's true.
I think if we work together and live together, we'd get sick of each other.
Yeah, but to be fair, he only said the part about him getting sick of you.
For the love of God, why?
What exactly do you think you'd get sick of?
There's only options here to fake a heart attack or have a real one.
It's nothing in particular.
Is it my voice?
Am I too bossy?
My arm is feeling numb.
Nailed it.
That's the wrong arm for a heart attack, Doofus.
Well, then, I know you're in the zone, but do you want some tea?
All right, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but...
You haven't spoken in hours, and I'm starting to get worried.
Please say something.
Leonard, prepare to be humbled and weep at the glory of my genius.
Nope, it was better before.
Look at it.
I feel like my mind just made a baby.
And it's beautiful.
It's not like human babies, which are loud and covered in goop.
Holy crap, Sheldon.
Did you just figure out a method for synthesizing a new stable super heavy element?
Did I?
Well, that can't be right.
No one's ever done that before.
Except me, because I just did it.
Sheldon and his brain, yeah.
Sheldon and his brain, yeah.
Sheldon and his brain, yeah.
Sheldon and his brain, yeah.
Sheldon and his brain, yeah.
Sheldon and his brain, yeah.
And hold three, two, one.
Very good.
Now let's try warrior two.
And hold.
I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
Oh, well, I don't think we're gonna get to do that today.
Too bad.
Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.
Oh, hey.
Now we go to reverse, warrior.
How did she get you to do yoga?
Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
Wait, it's not all pants.
There's one shirt.
Oh.
Hey, that's my shirt.
This one is, too.
No, no, that's not mine.
That has a big spot on it.
Wait, so does this one.
Maybe the spot's the clue.
Sheldon's spot.
The koi's in your spot!
Oh, that's clever.
Hooray!
Be there in a minute.
I just have to pre-soak these.
Where the hell's the coin?
Wasn't the answer shell and spot?
Oh, yes, Leonard.
Yes, it was.
Where's the coin?
Yes, exactly.
Where is the coin?
Why don't you look in your pockets?
I slipped them in there earlier today.
I don't get it.
Don't you see?
When we're all having fun together, we're already winners.
Oh, look.
See?
Even I'm a winner.
Are you kidding me?
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
You suck.
So hot.
Water would be great.
OK.
Um, you're Lucy, right?
I'm a friend of Raj Kootharpali's.
Actually, Amy recognized you.
Wow.
How's he doing?
Oh, you know, he's good.
Great.
Yeah, this is none of my business, but why did you break up with him in an email?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess I thought it would be easier.
Yeah, I get that.
I'll go get you your water.
When you say easier, you mean easier for you, right?
Because I certainly didn't make it easier for him.
Any chance I can get a different waitress?
I'm sorry.
This is rude of me.
I will get you that water.
See?
See?
See?
See?
Just now, you expressed your feelings to my face.
How come you could do that with me but not with Raj?
I don't know your email.
You know what the worst part is?
You're sitting here perfectly happy, and he's at home a blubbering mess.
I thought you said he was okay.
Well, I also said I was getting you water, but look at me, still standing here.
You know, I may be a bad waitress, but you are a bad person.
Now, you want to hear the specials?
Arthur passing away was harder on Sheldon than he's ready to admit.
Really hoping this will cheer him up.
Me too.
Although it might have been thoughtless of us to bake a Death Star cake.
No, it combines two of Sheldon's favorite things chocolate chips and the ability to destroy a planet at the push of a button.
Well, anyway, it'll be a nice surprise for the boys.
And Howie doesn't think I take his interest seriously, so hopefully this will keep him fooled for a while.
Oh.
Okay, let's get the fondant and start decorating.
This is pretty cool.
You don't see too many spherical cakes.
I wonder why that is.
Hey, guys.
Happy Star Wars Day.
Wow.
A Death Star cake.
We were hoping it might cheer you up.
And even though it meant we had to miss the movies, we could still be part of the fun.
You didn't miss anything.
We just started over.
Son of a bitch.
Hi.
Hey, guys.
Look who's here to put the Jew in jewelry night.
Sure, so it's fine when you say.
Sorry we're late.
Wanted to swing by the lab and pick up some even cooler tools for us to use.
I didn't know you were coming again.
Well, last week was a blast.
Plus, I thought you might like having a guy here.
It was not funny.
So what tools did you bring?
Everything we need to make jewelry molds.
Here's some silver, a crucible, and an acetylene torch to melt it down.
Ooh, that looks like fun.
Brush your master glue before you move on to fire.
Okay, who's up first?
Rajesh, do you want to make a bracelet for your mom to go with the necklace?
No, thanks.
I was gonna make a necklace for my mom, but unfortunately, she doesn't have a neck.
She has just chins and fat and feet.
Leonard, do you think I'm funny?
No.
I think I'm hysterical.
I take it back.
That was funny.
The philosopher Henri Bergson says it's funny when a human being behaves like an object.
I bet that bit killed at the chuckle hut.
Oh, he didn't perform stand-up comedy.
He was a philosopher.
I think we're zeroing in on your problem.
Perhaps I'll spend some time developing a unified theory of comedy which will allow me to elicit laughter from anyone at any time.
Unless they're German, because that's a tough crowd.
Are you set on people laughing with you?
Because if you're cool without you...
This is interesting.
Apparently, a key component in some forms of humor is the element of surprise.
Well, that makes sense.
The prefrontal cortex is responsible for planning and anticipation, and patients with brain lesions.
Brain lesions.
Sheldon, you scared me.
That wasn't funny.
Maybe you have a stick up your prefrontal cortex.
Okay.
The notion that you can read a few books and come up with a definitive theory of comedy is absurd.
I mean, humor is a complex neurological... Okay, that's pretty good.
Can he really quit the Cheesecake Factory?
Yeah.
I don't know.
She already thinks I don't support this, so if I call, it might look like I'm checking up on him.
Do you support this?
Of course I do.
She's a great actress.
I'm proud she's taking this risk.
That's nice.
You bought that?
Great.
Gotta call her before I forget how I said it.
Hey.
Hi.
What's up?
Taking Hollywood by storm?
Actually, I'm at the Cheesecake Factory.
You got your job back.
That is great news.
I didn't want to say anything, but you are making the right choice.
To plunge yourself into debt right now would be literally insane.
Yeah, I'm just returning my uniform.
And I support you.
When Obi-Wan came to Luke on this very spot, he gave him all sorts of helpful advice.
So, um, what do you got for me?
Um, always get a prenup.
That's it?
I thought there'd be more of a reason why you're here.
Oh, why do you think I'm here?
I suppose it has something to do with your recent passing.
Is this the first time you've lost, you know, someone close to you?
Oh, no.
No.
I've already had to say goodbye to 11 Doctor Whos.
Yeah, I've outlived a few of my doctors, too.
Next question for the Butterfinger.
How long is a galactic year?
250 million years!
Yes!
Okay, this one is for a Cadbury cream egg.
It's not even Easter time!
This is crazy!
Which Archimedean solid has 20 regular triangular faces, 30 square faces, 12 pentagonal faces, 60 vertices and 120 edges.
The Rumbicostic Dodecahedron!
Yes!
We are so smart!
Why didn't girls like us in high school?
Because we were awkward and weird and couldn't play sports!
Right again!
