Hi. Welcome back to Eat Your Crest Podcast.
I'm Jisoo. I'm Crystal.
And I'm Destin. Welcome back, Destin.
Last episode we had Destin on was episode 215, where he talks about his tattoo apprenticeship and now Dustin is a fully fledged tattoo artist, which is very cool to see.
But we actually brought Dustin on this week to talk about big age gaps in siblings.
This is something that Jisoo and I both do not have any experience with, so we thought it would be fun to pick your brain a little bit and confirm or question any theories that we personally have.
Mhmm. Right. Ji Soo is a single child, right?
And then you are a youngest child, Crystal.
Yeah, I can tell. But yes, please, I would love to answer any questions you guys have.
So maybe, Dessen, you can give a little bit of background for our listeners who don't know you.
Can you talk a little bit about your relationship with your siblings, as well as the different age gaps that you have with them?
Right now I'm 28 years old.
I have a younger brother who is 24 then I have a younger half -sister who is 14 years younger than me so they are 14 right now and they do go by they them even though they are my sister.
This is pretty interesting, you know.
I'm sure Crystal remembers a lot when we were growing up in high school, like, probably meeting my sister.
It's like kind of interesting.
I I feel like when you go to your friend's house during like high school, you don't expect to be in a baby environment.
You know what I mean?
But yeah, like, it was pretty interesting, especially when we were doing a lot of events for high school and people would come over and work on stuff at my house.
School projects are just, you know, homecoming stuff.
There would just be a baby around.
It just adds a little bit of chaos.
Oh my God. Definitely.
And it's crazy, too, because you're a little sister.
If they're 14 years younger, then that means they're about 14 years old now.
Mm -hmm. And when we first met them, they were really young.
Yeah, still in diapers.
Barely conscious. Yeah.
Exactly. Like they didn't even speak full sentences yet at some point.
So to think that they're just walking the earth right now, capable of forming sentences, it's crazy.
Yeah. I mean, it's pretty interesting to think about it now because when you guys met them, We were like in high school and now they they're sophomore in high school right now so I think it's pretty interesting kind of like the cycle and Because literally today they just had their sophomore homecoming day.
Oh my god So talking about homecoming is kind of like on topic right now so if you were 14 when your sister was born then you were like a Fully conscious person and I say that because when your brother was born you were like, four, which I feel like is a little bit young to be like, fully sentient and making conscious, active decisions.
So do you think being a full -fledged 14 year old when your sister was born changes the dynamic that you have with them versus with your brother?
Were you more of an active participant in your relationship with your sister versus your brother?
Yeah, I feel like four -year age gap is a pretty normal sibling age gap.
So I feel like you kind of just are like kids together, you know, you're kind of like just doin' dumb stuff, beating each other up, especially when you're like brothers, you just, you just like hit each other.
I definitely feel like it's different when the age gap is so different because definitely you can't be like, giving them like, knuckle sandwiches and stuff, you know, because like, you know, they can't fight back, no, I'm just kidding, but um, you watch them as like a baby and you know, you're helping your parents take care of them as a baby as well, so.
I'm not really gonna be like, I was 14 when I take care of my sister, but, you know, it's a different kind of responsibility I think than being the responsible being a just a normal four year older brother.
You have no responsibility there, to be honest.
Do you see that in your brother as well?
Like, in your brother's relationship with your sister?
Do you feel like he also is a little bit more gentle, maybe slightly more parental to your sister versus to you?
Yeah, definitely, I kind of feel like we have different relationships with each other just because it was kind of just like a timing thing.
I think when they were kind of like an elementary school, I left home for college so I kind of wasn't hanging out with them around that time.
But kind of in the later years of their elementary into middle school, I was at home and then my brother was in college.
From seeing them grow up, I kind of feel like maybe those years when I was home were kind of more like formative for them.
so I feel like just because I was there and like living at home with them at the time I feel like me and my sister relationship and then my brother and their relationship kind of like panned out a little differently just because of us being at home at different times of their I guess like growing up in you know going through puberty as well That makes total sense.
I actually remember recently I think it was this year you sent a picture of your sister in our group chat and we were all like oh my god They're so big now like they're a real person No longer a baby.
Yeah. Going through high school, being interested in like trends.
Being on Tik Tok. Oh my God.
Hearing them like use like skibbity Riz lingo on me is like...
It's kind of crazy just...
It's crazy to see it like on TikTok, but then it's crazy to see it I guess in your hometown life or in your home life.
Oh my God, then. Are they like your source of Gen Z knowledge?
I definitely see a lot of memes and stuff like that that I wouldn't normally see but I'm glad I see some of the memes Literally funny.
Wait, actually does your sister count as Gen Z or Gen Alpha?
Do you know? Wait, Gen Alpha is younger right?
Yeah, I feel like they would be Gen Alpha Do you think you feel a generation gap between you and your sister cuz that's actually two generations because we are Selenials, I guess like one and a half generations I would say so for sure.
I don't know there are a lot of similarities and there are a lot of differences My sister is also kind of into like kind of the gaming scene and also like art So I think a lot of stuff that were into there is some like overlap But then there is a lot of differences as well Like I know they play like a lot of roadblocks, which I think is so interesting to me Because I've never played this game before in my life I've always Roblox it sounds and looks like kind of like a silly game.
It sounds like Legos But nowadays I kind of see a lot of crazy content from Roblox where it doesn't even look like Roblox anymore Right.
That's just like its own tangent, but yeah So it's really interesting to see them play like they're like oh, I'm playing like the scary game on Roblox And now I'm playing the shooting game That's interesting dude.
We have a resident Roblox lover in this call Yeah I'm a casual Roblox enjoyer.
Oh wait oh my god! So I can connect with your sister actually.
See, that's how it's like kind of like similar but like also like at least for me it's also different.
Do you ever play Roblox with them?
I think I tried once.
It was like okay that's really interesting.
Oh my god. Dustin you need to play Dress to Impress with them.
Yeah, it's a must. Oh that's a Roblox game oh I've been hearing - Or they made a Roblox version.
Okay that's sick wait what are you playing on Roblox jisoo?
Yeah just trust him fast but it's like so fun I'm obsessed okay I also feel like on tik -tok I'm scrolling I see some sweaty kids playing Roblox like FPS games oh wow they're like doing like crazy flicks like their mouth's going crazy like guys this is just Roblox, but also think a really interesting similarity is that they use Discord for everything for like communication which makes a lot of sense like Discord is a pretty great app I think for like a lot of different things You know servers and stuff and it's really interesting because you know, I use discord a lot too But I know I have a lot
of friends maybe from my generation that use different apps to talk You know, there's instagram people communicate alone instagram and then you know, there's messenger as well, right?
I know even for like people that are like five years younger than me my messenger Notification will go off on my phone.
They're like, there's no way you're use you're on that app.
Still. It's crazy Wait, that's horrifying.
Yeah, does that mean we have to migrate out of my center?
No literally people like my co -workers They're only 25.
They're like dude. There's no way you use it It's crazy ouch So yeah, even if it's like 25, it's out of fashion for 14 year olds.
They're like only on Discord they're like chopping it up in the discord servers.
You know screen sharing them playing roblox or like Wait screen sharing them doing math homework is crazy I don't know I mean I don't know new age I don't know if that's what kids would do but wait that's actually genius Yeah, if I were a kid, I probably would be doing that we could crowdsource the homework together Everything is doing it on him work instead of doing it in the breaks between classes Yeah, that's so interesting.
But when I think about it I think it does make a lot of sense because discord has communities so it's not just you know DMing or messaging It's a forum almost as well like it's almost what Facebook was to us I don't know how or like I guess is because it's like gaming adjacent that you know younger kids kind of migrate to it But I assume like once a group people at school I guess start using discourse like oh you know I want to talk to them So everyone else are gonna migrate to them, so it's just cool to see how the different messaging Norms yeah, that generation dude.
Is this like a cycle because for us we used aim And that's like a chat, you know dedicated chat app if you can call it that and discord is technically that to It's just a cycle.
Like we're back to the chat apps a little bit I guess the disc or got big because of gaming so I don't know what needs to get big for the next big thing Maybe crypto or something Oh VR I think maybe oh my god the next generation is gonna be on VR chat with like avatars Oh, yeah, there's long gone after school and that's like the norm so when you communicate with your sister I assume a decent amount of that is at home, but Outside of the house.
Are you texting them chatting them or are you on discord?
It's either I'm texting them or using discord I don't know.
That's like unusual and they also um a lot of times will just be like talking in memes They'll just like send me a a meme and then I'll just respond in a meme.
No words even being said.
I guess that's how the kids talk to you.
They're like. That's kind of cute.
They think you're cool enough to send memes too.
True. Yeah, I think that when you're a kid in high school, you have a lot of complaints that you have after school.
So sometimes, the few times that I pick them up after school, I feel very grateful that they're very comfortable with being able to tell you about their day complaining about kids that made them mad or something throughout the day.
Oh that's so cute actually.
Well, this is kind of stupid but I didn't realize your sibling could just pick you up from school Oh, yeah, it's crazy right?
That is like another thing that actually I've been thinking about is like when I was their age Starting in like middle school.
I had to take the bus home and then walk up my hill by myself every single day You know, not that they're my age.
It is different because like there's more people in the house that are available to pick them up but you know there's a part of me that's like oh you know back in my day i had to i had to find my own way home you know you have it good now oh my god that's so true and and you didn't even start driving until a little later as well yeah yeah yeah so it's like definitely part of me is like salty but like you know part of me is like you know if i'm able to do it i might as well you know try and make their life easier they've got a cushy life Thanks to a little bit I mean you guys wouldn't know but I
definitely think being the oldest sibling paves the way for younger siblings even with my brother he was able to you know probably do things like get his license a little earlier than me just cuz I mean I can understand for her parents you know the the first kid making the leap for certain things is kind of like it's big But then once one kid is on it, I imagine it gets a lot easier.
Yeah, I think I saw some Reddit comment from, like, a parent that was like my first child is literally like if I could, I would have bubble wrapped them like to send out into the world.
But then by like the second and third child, it was just like, yeah, you know, they're probably OK, like whatever.
That's actually a pretty interesting point, because, you know, for my mom, I am my mom's first child, but actually for my sister, my sister is my stepdad's first child.
I can actually kind of see the differences because my mom is pretty like hands off a little bit with my sister, because you know, it is my mom's third child, not to say that she doesn't care about them, but you know, she's just definitely a little more laidback and I can definitely see my stepdad being just more attentive and being on them.
Oh, that is interesting.
Your sister is the oldest sibling and the youngest sibling at the same time.
A little bit, yeah.
It's pretty interesting.
I know that they tried to ask my stepdad if like they can take the bus to, you know, when no one's able to take them home.
But I feel like my stepdad's a little bit like, you know, first child's like also they're a girl as well.
So, I feel like my stepdad's like, oh, you know, might as well just get driven, you know.
You don't need to take the bus.
I'm a little bit. Right.
So I guess as the oldest sibling in your family, do you feel like you do a lot of reflecting like that where you're like comparing maybe your experiences growing up to your sisters or even your brothers?
Definitely, I think just it's like what I was saying earlier, like when I see them kind of having an easier time with certain things than I had it, I definitely probably was like salty about some stuff but ultimately, you know, that's whatever.
If I can make their life easier I'm fine with it.
Then, when the difference is so large between you and your sister, if there's stuff that maybe makes you a little salty, is it just easier to brush off or maybe not even be salty about now?
Because it's just so far in the past?
Oh, well I definitely think with my sister there's a little bit of a difference because I feel like with my brother I kind of still think we're kind of in the same generation or kind of like on an equal level a little bit, but like with my sister, it's like a little bit more of like a adult to child kind of like relationship.
So there's a lot more like leeway or like, you know, I give a lot more like grace.
Do you have a lot of feelings of like protectiveness around your sister?
Because I feel like that's kind of the natural next step, right?
It's like you see the big age gap, you know you're kind of in different generations And then you go into like protective bear mode.
When I think about it, I think the personality of my sister.
I feel like they can kind of fend for themselves.
They can solve their own problems.
So, I kind of feel like I trust them to be able to make their own good decisions.
And I also feel like if they were on the fence about making a decision, they would feel comfortable enough to ask me about it.
But I do think if their personality were maybe a little different, you know I don't know what the personality would be, but you know something that might feel like they can't maybe fend for themselves Maybe in like a school environment with like their peers or anything.
Not that high school is dangerous.
Maybe it is dangerous But yeah, maybe if they did have a personality like that I could see myself maybe trying to be a little more protective I feel like it just reminds me of okay.
Now that I think about it I don't know if this ever happened in real life but telling on TV shows where kids are like, oh well, my brother is older than your brother.
My brother's way cooler.
And then they go back and forth on who's brother is like the oldest.
Your sister would win all of those battles because that 14 year age gap is pretty rare I think.
That is a good point.
I definitely think, like, I remember when they were like a kid, you know, when you're a kid in like, probably like preschool, kindergarten, they always asked you like, oh, who are your role models?
And I you know, they wouldn't they would like write about me and like my parents a lot, too Yeah, so I definitely think they appreciate that and they think it's like cool having such older siblings And also they are interested in art I'd like to believe that I can be like a good role model or like, you know Show them maybe what is possible about what you can do through art It makes me feel proud that they can be like, oh, my brother is so old and cool.
No, not the old part.
Also, I better tell a quilt for your sister to be able to say something like, dude, my brother is a tattoo artist.
There's not a lot of people who could probably say that in high school.
I don't know if they do, but I can imagine them bragging about it.
That's whatever, though.
They always are like, oh, when I'm 18, I'm gonna let you tattoo me." I'm like, okay, you're gonna get me in trouble, but okay.
So I guess growing up, my high school friend group was all girls.
And a lot of us had older brothers, not quite the 14 year age gap, but maybe like six to eight years or so.
I remember one of those days in high school I met my friend's older brother and he had a kid, and I just was so shocked to like meet a real adult, you know, who looked just like my friend.
And it was like such an iconic moment that I still remember it like, very vividly, like we were in my friend's garage and I like shook his hand.
But, you know, your sister now that they're sophomore in high school, they're kind of getting to that age.
So like, have you ever met your sister's friends?
Do you think you've ever had a moment like that?
with the reverse. I feel like my sister's friends are shy so I feel like when I, sometimes I will pick them up and then I'll drive their friends as well.
I don't know if it's just like being a kid around older adults.
You just like don't really talk that much.
Or you just like talk amongst yourselves.
I feel like that's like a teenager thing, you know.
They're like in their own bubble when you're like an adult you're like, oh you're too old for this bubble.
So you're not gonna, you're not gonna get the skib in you, you know.
We have too much Riz for you over here.
Destin, you're literally like the parent.
Picking school, driving their friends around.
Do you ever drive them to like the mall?
Do kids still do that?
Hang out at the mall?
I have gone to the mall with my sister maybe like once or twice in the last year just to like hang out.
I still think the mall is a cool thing.
I also think my girlfriend Amber is an only child.
Amber and my sister will like hang out we'll all hang out pretty often Amber will like note certain things that I'll do she'll be like oh that's so like caring or like so patient of you oh my dang must be nice to being an only child you know I'm just kidding but I don't know I don't know oh man but the The mess -up thing is that both Jisoo and James are only children, so...
Yeah! That is... Yeah, same with their chest -destines.
I'm so funny. I'm trying to talk shit.
You guys have no one - you guys have no one to keep you guys in check or to show you what it's like on the other side of the lawn.
I was kind of thinking like your sister being low -key the oldest and the youngest sibling at the same time.
I wonder if that's what being an only child is like.
Like, you're super protected by your parents.
But at the same time, you're well taken care of because it's like, oh, this is my only child.
Yeah, I guess so. I feel like I have felt like that.
It's like maybe with the family, but I have to fend for myself when I go outside and my parents aren't there.
So I don't like this laughing.
No, this is funny. Oh, I think it's so funny that Amber points out.
Wow, Destin like, that's so patient of you or like so caring of you.
I think it's also extra funny because Destin's attitude usually, you know, just outwardly with us close friends and stuff is very nonchalant, super chill.
And so it's like, I'm sure seeing you with your younger siblings being an older sibling to them is like a whole new perspective.
yeah I definitely feel like there's like a shift I think when you know I have to be around my younger sister and then like when I'm with people normally in my age, for example at my work we have some events at the tattoo shop I can imagine when you're like a kid in high school like being able to go to like events like this is like super fun so I have them accompany me a lot when I'm like tabling at these events not to say that I have to censor myself but I I just like it's an interesting clash of worlds.
It's kind of like my coworkers but then I'm also like here as like my sister's older brother and also kind of a little bit like their chaperone.
Right. Well, so do you try not?
I mean, I'm trying to understand what you mean by censor like censor the types of jokes you make or do you try not to cuss or like what is it that you're censoring?
I think a little bit like that, I'm still kind of like working so I'm still trying to be professional but I think I have to a little bit like keep an eye on them, make sure they're like, entertained and make sure they're like, still alive, still at the venue, still alive.
I guess kind of like just keep an eye on them, but then also kind of like, you know, still be doing the stuff that I need to do.
Oh my God. It's literally, bring your child to work day.
A little bit. Yeah.
I appreciate though that I could share like this kind of like, you know, unconventional and like the fun parts of this interesting industry with them.
My coworkers are all younger people and they're all artists and do interesting things.
So I think it's pretty cool that I can just introduce them to all these kinds of different people as well that have these jobs that you probably wouldn't even imagine can be a job in high school.
That's super cool. Your sister has a good life.
I know. I have a good life, man.
Do you ever find yourself saying stuff to your sister that could potentially lean luxury?
Oh my God, remember to do this before you go to school.
Like don't forget to do this.
Make sure you're taking care of your health, like that kind of stuff that I feel like parents often talk about.
I think I try not to be a lecturer with them, but I do think there is this kind of line where we're joking and it's like, oh I'm trying to be serious with you and you have to listen to me.
I think one specific thing was when we were on vacation in one time together and it was just me and them hanging out.
I just think like for whatever reason I was getting annoyed at them.
I don't know what they were doing but waffling around like just being a teenager.
You know, normally when I talk to them usually it's pretty chill and we're like always joking and everything.
But I think I said something like, okay, I'm getting kind of annoyed now.
Can you stop, can you stop talking like that?
And I just need to like chill for a bit.
and they're like, oh.
So there is that kind of, I don't know how to say it, but it's like this line of being serious and then like, you have to take me seriously now and listen to me and it's just like sometimes when I think they're being kind of a teenager and I think when you're a teenager, you think you're like on top of the world.
You're like invincible.
Everything in your head is the right answer.
And you know, sometimes I think when that comes out of them I can get a little irritated, but most of the time I try not to express it.
But sometimes or sometimes I feel like I have to say something, so that's...
Like put them in their place?
A little bit and that's like that line...
I'm trying to be serious and I'm not trying to make a joke or anything, I'm just...
I'm trying to say something, you know, hopefully, that I think is helpful for them.
That's so interesting because I feel like based on my long -standing sibling studies, siblings are usually so okay with fighting, but it is like being okay with conflict or calling each other out.
I feel like maybe that's the relationship that you might have with your brother where if he's being annoying, maybe you would be a little bit more blunt and be like, okay, shut up or something.
But it sounds like you wouldn't ever say that to your sister.
I think we would feel comfortable with saying stuff how it is I just think we normally don't have conflict I do think they're in that stage where they want to just kind of do their own thing you know talk to their friends online hang out in their room and you know high school life so I'm not like super involved in their day -to -day life I think if I was maybe there would be more conflict Yeah, I guess it's like the idea that you handle conflict with your sister more maturely I guess, or with more patience, versus your brother who is more similar to us in terms of age and generation so it feels
like you can just be almost more immature with them, right?
Yeah, not as gentle with advice.
I definitely think when I'm like trying to bring up something to my sister I'm like thinking of how to like carefully word it because I feel like I want to word it in a way where You know, this is an issue and I want you to like listen and like take it seriously, but I'm not like angry I'm not like fuming.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad I'm trying to tell you this, you know, because I think it'll be good for you.
I feel like it's a very unique position to be in almost because when you're the active parent dealing with your kid I think there is a little bit more immediate emotional investment not to say that you're not invested in your sister's life but it's more so like okay this is my direct child the entire weight of this person's life lies on my shoulders but with you it's almost like you can take a step back when you need to but also be involved when you need to so I feel like it's a cool position to be in and kind of a rare relationship too.
It's like you can kind of control the closeness and like the delicateness I guess of the relationship.
It's actually a really interesting way to put it I think it is really cool because I can have all the good parts I guess of like having a new like member of the family you know you know they're like super cute I can play with them I can you know hang out with them when they're not crying but then when you you know, when they are crying, when they're like, you know, when they're getting picked up from school, going to school, getting their lunch pack, you know.
I'm not like super involved with that, you know.
I can kind of like let my parents deal with it.
So it definitely is kind of like a, kind of like a nice opportunity to have them very grateful for.
Something that I think is interesting that I just remembered, when my sister was a little younger, they would argue a lot with my stepdad.
So when things got a little too heated, it was interesting that they would run to me, kind of like talk to me.
So I think in that sense, I did kind of become like a third parent.
Awwww. So that was pretty interesting.
And then, you know, even my stepdad would be like, oh, I kind of got an argument with them, so if you can help them talk to them and like help them feel better, that'd be great.
Wow, that's so cute.
Yeah. yeah, it's kind of like at work when you have a real boss and then you have like a mentor a little bit I do feel like maybe my position is a little bit of like a mentor.
mentor slash friend.
Wow, so would you say that your sister leans on you more than they lean on your brother?
Definitely, now I definitely think that they would probably say that as well.
I kind of attribute that to what I was saying earlier like in there like kind of like more formative maybe like rebellious years that's when I was like at home and my brother was in college I also feel like in general my brother just kind of like sticks his own thing and I do think like with the art thing as well it helps us connect on that.
Oh yeah that makes sense.
When you were 14 how did your mom tell you that you had a new sibling coming That's just so long ago.
Was it like impactful or was it just like oh okay?
I think it was more so impactful when my mom told us that she was getting remarried.
I think that was more of the impactful part and then I think her having a kid was kind of like expected.
So I don't really think it was that super impactful.
But maybe more so the remarrying that impactful part.
I think that makes sense.
You're more shocked about the remarriage part and then when she's like, Oh, I'm gonna have kid you guys are gonna have a sibling you're kind of like okay well I guess that just follows marriage naturally yeah I kind of feel like if I have to think about it we were maybe like kind of excited about it even you know whenever we were able to find out that my sister was a girl they're a non -binary you know but but when they were we found out that they were a girl me and my my brother had never had a sister, and I know my mom also wanted a daughter, so I think everyone was pretty excited.
Aww, that's cute, that is cute.
I also wonder if it's because you had each other already.
I feel like going from an only child to having a sibling is a huge leap, but having one sibling to having two siblings maybe wouldn't be as shocking.
Right, yeah. I can imagine that if you went from having no siblings siblings to one sibling, it would be pretty shocking but it's not as bad because you don't need to like share your stuff as much because you know there's not much stuff that can be shared between siblings that have a 14 -year age.
Oh yeah. You know you're not like sharing food, baby food or not sharing like clothes or like toys in playtime you know you don't share like time on the video games.
Something that was pretty interesting, being 14 and having a sibling that young, was that like, you know, when you have a sibling, kind of like takes up all the attention from your parents for better or for worse.
I think I had a very like independent teenage life.
You know I was kind of like doing my own thing.
I kind of had free reign over what I wanted to do.
Maybe that was a bad thing but...
It's okay, you turned out okay.
Yeah. Yeah, but I mean I think I had a fun teenage life so I think I'm grateful for it but yeah that was a pretty interesting byproduct of having a sibling at that age.
That's true now that I think about it sometimes when we went to hang out at your place your sister might have been sleeping or we didn't always see them running around because they were literally just like a toddler or a baby.
And so I feel like your parents were usually very busy with your sister as well So yeah, when I envisioned Destin teenage Destin, it's kind of what you described Destin's always ready to do whatever he wants.
So we talked a little bit about how You take care of your sister a little bit when she was young Do you know how to like change a diaper and stuff?
Like how extensive is your knowledge of taking care of a baby?
Don't think I ever changed their diaper.
And you know, it's been a very long time since they've worn diapers, so I don't even think probably my parents know.
But yeah, like I was saying earlier, of course my parents did a lot of the changing diapers, cleaning up poop, putting them to sleep, feeding them and everything in terms of, you know, taking care of them, at least now, is just mostly like helping them with going places, you know, driving them places.
I remember I taught them math for a little bit whoa.
Just pretty inferior, you know Yeah, I taught them school subjects and that was pretty You know helpful for my parents because you know They're not familiar with the school subjects as well as I am you know, cuz it's pretty like Relatively more recent in knowledge, especially since I also went to the same high school as them.
So I would help them a lot But that was also like another thing where it's like I'm not like joking around as much Kind of like I'm trying to teach you like math.
You need to like learn how to do this formula.
Oh my god I'm just imagining you trying to teach the math and they're like, oh my god.
Look at these means Yeah when I'm teaching them stuff Of course when you're like learning something it's gonna be like difficult, you know see a different very different side of them when they're like trying their best to do something and maybe it's not like working out yeah this is a different thing that I don't normally see day to day you know cuz we're normally just like joking a lot and then also just like you know advice talking to people like you know at in high school and stuff that's also something that my parents probably cannot help as well because they don't know being a teenager and being
like in high school as well as I do oh my god have you ever made them cry?
I actually don't think I have.
Okay, I was kind of thinking that because if your age gap is like, so large, there's also, I think more respect coming from the younger sibling.
Well, hopefully. And I feel like there's less opportunity, I guess, to make each other cry just because you being kind of a mature adult now, it's like, oh, I'll try to be gentle with, with them and like, not be too harsh.
Meanwhile I'm, you know, like having a sibling that's much closer in age.
I feel like me and my brother — okay I don't know if I ever made him cry but like he definitely has made me cry.
Yeah, definitely. What did he do that made you cry?
I don't know, just like be mean.
I have a, kind of a funny question for you both.
If your parents came up to you right now and we're like, we're expecting a child.
Whoa. How would you feel about having a sibling with a 28 year age gap?
Oh my God. I mean at this point it's like training us for parenthood, right?
At this point? Yeah.
You know, for G -su, she doesn't even have siblings.
Like so she might as well treat this as a child.
There's no point in trying to learn what it's like to be a sibling.
Ha ha ha ha. True. It's like not even a sibling anymore.
It's just your child, your child adjacent.
What would I think?
I would think that it would be really funny for my sister.
Because now they...
Ooh. Because now they get to...
I guess experience the same thing that I went through.
Not that it was a bad thing.
Oh yeah. just this very unique experience of having such a large age gap sibling yeah because then when they're like 28 then the fourth and final sibling oh my god jilshid is like so in shock she can't even answer this question about i know i'm i'm speechless i mean honestly i would be like okay at that point this is like dessa said just my kid i will be taking care of this new soul.
But also you guys know Al Pacino yeah he had a kid at 83 and he has multiple kids already so low -key his children are probably going through that where his oldest kid is maybe like 40 or some ****.
That is kind of how like families of celebrities work right like a lot of celebrities we marry a lot and then we'll like have a new child with their new spouse.
So that's like kind of normal for that side of the world.
Yeah okay but also Jisoo like you wouldn't be taking care of that sibling because your parents live in a different state so when you visit like that would be a sibling.
Oh that's true, god I don't know at that point you're just like cousins.
Oh my god your siblings but you treat them like a cousin and then it's Crazy because like every time you see them, they're like a different person, you know, they grow up like a whole year Oh my god And at that age, they're like a different.
They're like a completely different person from year to year Dude, but would you not like get jealous you go home?
Your parents are like fawning over this child Like what about you?
No, I have experience because we used to have a dog so, you know, it's like the same thing Right.
Well I guess. G -su.
How would you feel if your parents?
or to give this child something, like I said, easier or earlier than they did for you.
Would you feel resentful or would you be like, I'm happy that they could have it this easy?
I don't know, I mean, I'm sure there are things that I can think of that would make me feel resentful.
I can't pinpoint any right now, but I think I would feel resentful, but I feel so uncomfortable right now.
This is crazy. I feel like I haven't had to think about Oh, the thought of oh how would you feel if your parents asked if you wanted a sibling in so long.
What is your gut feeling imagining your parent's saying to this child, I'm proud of you?
Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, I would probably be uncomfortable.
Okay, actually what would make me uncomfortable is not like the things or like you know the words But if I were to go back home and be like hey mom and dad me right now They would be super happy to see me But if I went back and they were just like so preoccupied with this baby I would be like what the fuck I'm you barely know this person.
You've known them for two years You've known me for 28 years.
There's no way No way you like them that much I'm like, dude, bro, can you walk?
Like the fun. They can't even say a word.
What conversation can this guy even hold?
That would be crazy though, because something that Jesus said earlier rings true, like Dustin, you have pretty much always been the older sibling.
Because when you find out when you're four, you're like barely conscious.
You're like barely realizing the weight of that.
So technically, like your whole life you've been the older sibling but in the case of, you know, bigger age gaps, if there's only two siblings, then the older sibling, you know, spent X amount of years being an only child.
And then they have to start learning to be an older sibling, which is kind of crazy to think about.
Yeah. What would the things that you have to do, it's like sharing it, but then, you know, when the age gap is that big, you're not sharing stuff.
Maybe being like patient.
Yeah. I don't know, I say it like that.
But it's just things that you know that I've noticed my girlfriend know from me and...
No, I think that's absolutely right, being patient.
And there's just like little things.
So my boyfriend is an older sibling as well.
And their age gap is about four years as well.
Well, sometimes his younger sister will call him when she doesn't know what to do.
And I was like, oh, that's like kinda cute.
But I was also like, I would never do that.
I would never call my older brother in times of need.
For the most part, I don't have a reason to.
But she was like literally calling him for like a device.
I thought about it.
I was like, wow, that's like such little sibling behavior, like it's very cute.
You know, yeah. Have you ever taking note of anything that your boyfriend does that is like oh I've never thought of doing that I guess that's one thing but mm -hmm he takes his younger sister like grocery shopping and like drives her around and stuff and I'm like that's very nice of you actually I think Crystal you did take your older brother grocery shopping and like drive him around?
Well not grocery shopping but I did learn to drive earlier in my lifetime than he did so in college we both went to UCSD and I basically took ownership of the car but I think that's an older sibling thing like Max just let me like take ownership of the car because by that time he He could drive as well, but he never complained and just let me like always use the car pretty much Once max asked me to take him to Zion and oh my god.
Wait, that's so funny Cuz we all live together.
Yeah dude, that was your moment of older sibling ship Was it oh Like I was old or something, yeah, you're right, right.
Okay, so last question for you, Destin.
You have quite a lot of experience with siblings in your own personal family, so when you think about having your own children, do you think you want to have three kids just like your family?
Or what do you think the ideal setup is?
I definitely do not want an only child.
I don't know if you've heard of this life long saying but is it easier to take care of one dog or nine dogs?
Oh it's like the same basically.
Yeah, is it easier to take care of one kid or nine kids?
Because with his nine kids Okay, it doesn't worth the same as kids, but you know nine dogs.
They kind of take care of each other Spoken by someone that's never on the dog.
But yeah, I think ideally my Mind vision if I were to have kids I'm still not sure if I if I will have kids, but I think I would want probably two children Maybe three.
Okay, I've never I've never taken care of actual, my own children yet, but I think having siblings for your children would be very, you know, helpful for everyone, you know, of course.
I think it's very fun as well.
Would you give them a big age gap?
Oh, it's kind of interesting.
If I could have the choice, I mean, that's not really like a choice thing, right?
It's not something you plan for.
Yeah, right, right.
True. wait age gap I think you can definitely plan for it or at least try to plan for it it's not like gender choosing okay let me think if if I could like build my life and plan to have honestly maybe it's like not bad because it's like the youngest sibling you know you have older siblings to help take care of them and they're like you know they're old enough where you don't need to be cleaning out their poop so they can start cleaning up poop so it's true it's like a little less chaotic at once honestly the idea of it does not sound bad but also the idea of you know having children and then
being in parenthood and being like 15 years in like alright let's do it again like that that is what sounds a little crazy honestly yeah it's like it's like restarting a game after you've Gone so a little bit that is that is more of the crazier thing to fathom But I think the actual sibling relationship would be not bad.
I think would be pretty good Well as an only child I felt like I took some else this episode but it was very interesting to hear a little bit about your Relationship with your sister and how the big age gap plays a role in your relationship So thank you Destin for coming on and sharing your stories about your family today For any of our listeners out there, if you also have a big age gap with any of your siblings, or you're just an Only Child, like me, then definitely feel free to hit us up.
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