Hey, can I ask you to do something really quick?
I want you to think about the last conversation you had that you really enjoyed.
Maybe it was a phone call with a friend or a long talk over coffee.
And it doesn't have to be a conversation in English.
It could be a conversation in your native language as well.
But I want you to think for a moment what made that conversation enjoyable.
My guess is, it's not just the topic that you enjoyed, but it was the connection that you have with that person.
It was someone that you trust, someone that you've shared things with, whether it's time, memory or challenges.
So now with that conversation in mind and that connection that you have, I want you to imagine this.
You're at a party talking to that friend.
It's clear that you have a great connection and you introduce your friend to someone else.
At that moment, someone says, so how do you two know each other?
And of course, in your native language, you would know exactly what to say.
Something like, oh, she's my childhood friend.
We've known each other since we were seven.
Or we used to work together and then over time we just became good friends.
The challenge is, how do you do all of that in English?
You might know exactly how you feel about that person, you feel that connection, but you might not have the precise words to explain it.
And that's what today's lesson is all about.
Because the truth is, in future English conversations, you might hear questions like so who's your go-to person when you need advice?
Or how have your friendships changed since you moved abroad?
Or maybe are you and your coworkers close friends or just work friends?
So by the end of this lesson today, you'll know how to describe these different kinds of friendships that you have.
You'll also know how to talk about the way that those friendships started and how they grew or changed over time, like maybe drifting apart or patching things up.
You'll also discover how to express the way that you stay connected to the people that matter to you the most.
So grab your English vocabulary notebook.
We're going to start by learning all the language we have in English to talk about the different kinds of friendships that we have in our lives.
Of course, when we're talking about these different kinds of friendships that we have, you and I both know that not all friendships are the same.
Some are deep and lifelong.
Others are short but still meaningful.
And of course, all these different kinds of friendships that we have are important.
So let's look at the specific language we use in English to talk about these different types of friendships.
The first is you might have a work friend.
This is someone you see every day at the office.
Maybe you have coffee breaks together or laugh through team meetings by making little jokes.
But outside of work, your paths don't really cross.
So in talking about your friend at work, you might say, oh, Sarah, she's my work friend.
We get along really well at the office.
And then there's your childhood friend.
This is the person who has known you forever, since you were little, before your career, responsibilities and major life changes.
These people have seen every awkward phase, like those teenage years, and every big moment that you've had.
For example, Maria and I have been childhood friends since we were seven.
Even after all this time, We can still finish each other's sentences.
Next is the family friend.
This isn't a relative, but it's someone who has been part of your life, your family's life, for years.
For example, you could say, Mrs. Chen is a family friend.
She's known my parents for 30 years.
Another one you might recognize is the lifelong friend.
This is a person that you stay connected to, no matter how much time passes and no matter where life takes you.
In fact, you can go months without talking.
And when you do get the chance to talk, it's like nothing has changed.
So how exactly is this different from a childhood friend?
Well, you can still have a childhood friend, someone that you knew when you were young and when you were a teenager, but not be very close now.
A lifelong friend is someone with whom you've maintained that strong connection.
So here's an example sentence.
Even though we only see each other twice a year, Natasha and I are still lifelong friends.
And then there's the seasonal friend.
This is someone who comes into your life during a specific period of time, like maybe while you were at a job or in a class or in a transition period.
The connection that you have with that person is real, but it doesn't last for a long time.
So, in talking about someone who was a friend of yours during a very specific period, you might say Emma was a seasonal friend during my yoga teacher training.
We were inseparable for those six months.
Now this next one, for better or worse, is also a friend that most of us have likely had, a fair weather friend.
This is someone who's around when things are fun and good, but they tend to disappear when life gets hard.
For example, I realized she was a fair weather friend when she stopped calling after I lost my job.
Those moments of discovering a fair weather friendship are pretty tough.
So let's shift to a more positive one, your go-to person.
This is someone you can rely on.
You know that they're going to be there for you.
In fact, they are the first person that you turn to when something important happens or when you need advice or support.
For example, you might say, anytime I need advice, Lisa is my go-to person.
And then finally, there's the long distance friend.
This is someone who lives far away, but your bond is still strong.
You stay in touch through voice notes and text messages, phone calls, maybe even old fashioned letter writing.
For example, even though we're in different time zones, we're still long distance friends.
We send a lot of voice notes and video chats, and we always make sure to find time to reconnect.
So now let's pause here for a moment and let me ask you, When you think about these different types of friendships, who comes to your mind right now?
For example, who was a seasonal friend that you had when you were in college or during your job training?
Who's your go-to person for advice and support?
Have you built any long distance friendships that surprise you?
Now that you have those individuals in mind, let's move on to talk about how you describe the strength of those friendships.
How close are you?
How much do you trust each other?
And what kind of support do you give to each other?
These next phrases are going to help you describe all of that emotional closeness with more precision and confidence.
Let's start with one that you might already know or perhaps you've heard it often to get along with someone.
This means that you have a good, easy relationship with someone.
There's no major conflict or tension.
Things just flow easily.
For example, we've always gotten along well, and we rarely disagree about anything important.
Of course, sometimes the bond that you have with someone goes so much deeper.
And when it does, you may describe it as a strong bond or a deep connection.
This is when you feel truly seen and heard and understood by someone like they just get you.
And in those situations you could say despite living in different countries, we maintain a strong bond by video calling each other every week.
Another great way to describe this kind of friendship is a close knit friendship.
This is the kind that feels intimate tight, like you're part of a small, trusted circle.
Sometimes the emotional closeness that you have with others also shows up when life gets hard.
When it does, you might have a friend who is your shoulder to cry on.
This is the person that you go to for comfort, the person who lets you be vulnerable without any judgment, And here's how we would use it in a conversation.
When I was going through a divorce, she was always my shoulder to cry on.
You might also describe someone as your go-to person.
And, just like a go-to friend that we highlighted earlier, this is someone who offers emotional support and advice.
For example, when I'm overwhelmed at work, she's my go-to person.
She knows exactly how to calm me down.
And here's one more powerful phrase, a friendship worth fighting for.
This is when you've had a disagreement with someone, or maybe there's a lot of distance, but that connection means so much to you that you choose to work hard at it.
You want to keep that friendship.
So, in a conversation you might say, even though we had a rough time after college, I knew it was a friendship worth fighting for.
Once again, I want to pause here for a moment and give you an opportunity to try using some of this new language.
So take a moment and think about someone who is in your life right now, who you could describe as having a deep connection with.
Or do you have a close knit friendship or a close knit friend group?
Perhaps there was a time when you realized that a friendship you had was worth fighting for.
Take a moment to think through those questions and associate those phrases with someone specific in your life.
This is going to help you remember these key phrases so that you can use them more easily in your English conversations.
After you've taken a moment to do that, let's move on to talk about what we actually do with our friends, the habits that we have, the support that we give each other and the moments that help us build up those relationships.
The first one here is an important one, to confide in someone.
When you confide in a friend, it means that you trust them.
You're willing to share information that is personal and private.
These are not details that you would just tell anyone.
You protect this information and only share it with the people you trust the most, the people that you are willing to confide in.
For example, I can confide in her about my relationship challenges without worrying about judgment.
Another phrase that helps us capture this kind of emotional support in a friendship is to lean on someone.
This is what we do when life gets hard.
We rely on others for strength, encouragement, or to simply be there and listen.
So in a conversation, you might say, when I was grieving, she was someone I could lean on.
Now, if you've joined me for Fluency School, this next one might sound familiar.
I want you to take a moment and think back to all the work that we did on how to start small talk conversations and then how to use what we learn in those conversations to go deeper into those conversations and strengthen those relationships, if we want to.
Sometimes the friendships we have are deep and meaningful not because of how often we talk to someone or how long we've known them, but it's because of what we talk about.
This is where we use the expression to open up to someone.
This means that you're willing to share your true thoughts, feelings or experiences, maybe even on topics that are hard to talk about.
Here's an example of how we might use that.
She's one of the few people I can really open up to about my personal struggles.
So let me ask you this.
Who do you confide in the most?
Who do you lean on when you need some support?
And who lets you open up without trying to fix everything for you?
Without a doubt, these small, powerful moments and connections are what make our friendships truly meaningful.
And the good news is you now have that language to talk about them in English.
And now let's move on to talking about how our friendships begin and how they grow over time.
Because of course, not every friendship begins with a huge dramatic story or an instant connection.
Sometimes it starts with something really small a shared interest, a kind gesture, a conversation or a joke at work.
So the first useful verb that we have here is to befriend, to befriend someone.
This means to make an effort to become someone's friend, especially when you're new somewhere or someone else is new.
For example, I made an effort to befriend my new colleague because she seemed kind and interesting.
Another great phrase to use is to come into someone's life.
This often describes a friendship that starts at a meaningful moment, sometimes when you need it the most, and it's often very unexpected.
So you might say, she came into my life when I needed support the most.
I had just moved abroad and I felt alone and lonely.
Now, when you meet someone and that connection that you have is instant, we say that we clicked or it just clicked.
And this means that the conversation, the connection that you had felt easy right away.
It's like something just worked between the two of you.
For example, We clicked the moment we met at the conference.
It felt like we'd known each other for years.
A similar phrase to this is to hit it off.
This also describes that immediate connection, usually during your very first conversation.
For example, you could say, we really hit it off at the book club.
We ended up talking for hours.
Of course, not all friendships start quickly.
Some of them are more of a slow, steady growth.
So that's where we can use the phrase to grow into a friendship.
It means that at first you were just acquaintances.
You knew of each other.
You were kind to each other.
But over time, that friendship deepened.
For example, we chatted occasionally, but over time it grew into a real friendship.
Now, sometimes to help those friendships develop, you might be the one to make the first move.
And that's where we use to reach out to someone.
So in a conversation, you might say i reached out to her after the networking event and then we started meeting for coffee.
Now, once that friendship starts and it continues to deepen over time, we use to develop a friendship to describe that process, that ongoing effort of getting to know someone and building trust over time.
So here's how you might use it in a conversation.
Developing a friendship with her took time.
We're both naturally introverted and shy, but we found that we had a lot in common.
So let me ask you do you have any friends who you clicked with right away?
Or maybe you hit it off the very first time you had a conversation together?
If you do, i want you to take a moment and put all of that into a sentence.
This is a fantastic way to remember this language.
And now, in this next section, I want to transition a bit to talking about the challenges and changes that we have in our friendships.
Because as you and I both know, even the strongest friendships go through ups and downs.
Sometimes we just drift apart without even realizing it.
And at other times, we may have a disagreement that leave a mark, leave us frustrated and hurt.
And in some cases, friendships come back together after a challenge.
So let's take a look at how we talk about that.
When it comes to talking about the difficulties that we have, one of the most common expressions is to go through a rough patch.
This means that the friendship has hit a difficult period, maybe because of stress, maybe distance, maybe miscommunication.
For example, we went through a rough patch when we both started new jobs and just didn't have a lot of time for each other.
Now, if the challenge that you feel in your friendship is more serious, maybe a result of a disagreement, then we say to fall out with someone.
We use this to say that the friendship has ended or there's been a very, very long pause in the communication.
And even when you come back and start talking to each other again, it's just not the same.
So in a conversation talking about this, You might say, we had a falling out a few years ago.
Now, after falling out, if that friendship does heal, you can say to make up with someone.
This is when two people resolve their conflict and restore their relationship.
For example, we argued about the travel plans, but we made up quickly after apologizing.
A similar phrase. is to patch things up.
This is often used when two people reconnect after a time apart or after something went wrong.
So in a conversation you might say after six months, we managed to patch things up with a long, honest conversation.
Of course sometimes, even after things improve, the friendship never really goes back to what it was.
So in those moments we say to be on speaking terms, when you're polite and friendly but not particularly close anymore.
For example, we're on speaking terms now, but we're not as close as we used to be.
Okay, now that we have some good language to talk about challenges that we have, I want to shift just a little bit to some of the natural changes that just happen over time.
For example, it's common to sometimes drift apart.
This happens, for example, when life pulls you in different directions.
There's no big argument.
It's just time and distance.
For example, over the years, we drifted apart as our lives got busier and we stopped checking in.
Similar to drifting apart is to grow apart or even to outgrow a friendship.
This often happens when your values or interests or goals are no longer a match.
So you might say, we grew apart in our 30s.
She became more career focused and I started a family.
And then sometimes a friendship just fades.
There's no event or decision.
It just happens.
And we don't always know why.
So in this case, we can just say that it faded away.
For example, our friendship faded away. after she moved across the country.
And in talking about why that might have happened, we can use we lost touch or our lives went in different directions.
These are softer ways to explain why a friendship ends without placing any blame.
Now, if you're thinking, I want to be able to talk about my friendships like this in English, but I need more practice.
I want you to know that that's exactly what the Confident Women community is for.
It's a space where you can practice speaking English in real conversations with other women who are kind, supportive and who have similar English goals.
Inside the Confident Women community, we don't just memorize vocabulary.
We talk about real life, relationships, personal growth and professional challenges.
And we do all of that with a step-by-step learning approach, speaking practice and support from me and my team.
So if you've ever wished for more speaking, confidence in English and connection with other people, you'll feel right at home inside the Confident Women community.
If you want to learn more, I'll leave a link in the video notes below.
And now let's do a quick shift over to something a bit more hopeful.
How do we maintain the friendships that matter most to us?
Because of course, good friends don't survive on luck.
They last because someone checks in, someone makes time, someone puts in the effort.
So the first expression to focus on here is to keep in touch.
This means that you continue to communicate by text email, voice note, whatever works for you, even when life gets busy.
For example, we try to keep in touch through phone calls, even though we're both busy.
Another one is to check in on someone.
This shows active care.
It means that you reach out to someone to ask how they're doing, especially if they're going through a tough time.
For example, you might say I try to check on her every few days, especially since she's been dealing with a lot of health issues.
And then There's to catch up with someone.
This is what we do when we haven't seen each other or spoken to each other for a long time.
And we want to reconnect.
We want to share our updates.
So in a text message, you might say to someone, let's catch up soon.
I've missed hearing about your new job and your family.
These simple actions, checking in on a friend, catching up and keeping in touch.
These are what help friendships survive even during the busy seasons of life.
And now I want to make a little bit of a transition to the effort that it takes to do this.
Of course, you know that a strong friendship requires intention.
And one phrase that expresses this particularly well is to nurture a friendship.
This means to care for it.
And we do that through checking in, spending time with someone and showing appreciation.
So in a conversation you might use this expression with.
Nurturing a friendship takes work, especially when you live in different countries.
A similar phrase is to put in the effort.
This means that you're not waiting for the other person to do the work you're showing up to.
For example, I realized I needed to put in more effort to maintain the friendships that I value.
And finally, one simple but very powerful expression. is to make time for someone.
In English.
This shows that you're choosing to prioritize a relationship even when your life feels full, busy and stressful.
So you might say I've learned that making time for friends is always important.
Now that you've learned how to have better conversations about friendships in english using these phrasal verbs, expressions and more, i want to ask you this how will you make sure that this vocabulary sticks?
A few times, i've asked you specific questions using the language that we've learned, and i've asked you to associate those expressions with someone, and i want to encourage you to do that again right now.
I want you to choose a friend, someone that you've been thinking about as we've been talking about these various expressions.
And take a moment, write down one or two sentences and try using some of the language that you've learned today.
That one step is the key to not just learning these new expressions in this lesson, but actually remembering them and being able to use them, whether you're writing an email, sending a text message or talking about it with someone else.
Now, if you want to take this even further, I've got a lesson I recommend.
It's called How to Increase Your Speaking Vocabulary in English.
It's a wonderful next step to help you go from understanding everything we've talked about here to using this language naturally in your English conversations.
I'll share a link directly to that lesson at the end of this video and you'll find it in the notes below.
Now, if you found this lesson helpful to you today, I would love to know.
And you can tell me in one very simple way.
Give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube.
And while you're at it, make sure you subscribe so you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
Thank you so much for joining me, and I look forward to seeing you next time.
