Why do I feel like you're enjoying this?
What?
Sad Haley needs her mommy again?
Oh, that's ridiculous.
I'm just helping her channel her broken heart into something more positive.
Please, that's the saddest blanket since the AIDS quilt.
Haley's wallowing in self-pity and you're feeding off of it.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Mom, I'm just gonna go take a nap.
Oh, sweetheart, do you want me to snuggle with you till you fall asleep?
Okay, that's it.
Pity party's over.
Time for some Dunphy fun.
We are going to the movies.
When was the last time you showered?
What day is it?
We will wait!
I was in and out in three minutes, young lady, and it was your sty medication I was picking up.
It's a lot of bracelets there, buddy.
Just ignore them.
They're being cheap.
If I'd listened to what other people said, I'd never have rocked my 90s frosted tips.
We've got pictures.
No, we don't.
You're an original, son.
When they made you, they broke the mold.
What's good, LD?
Yeah, well... Luke, um...
There's no easy way to ask this.
Are you in a boy band?
So, we're gonna go hang at the pier.
You in?
Sounds cool, but I don't know if I can.
That's right.
We got a big day planned.
He's coming to work with the old man.
Sorry.
Next time.
Deuces.
Hey, Mr. Dunphy.
Can we have just a moment of your time?
Come on, now.
How long have we known each other?
We should be on a first-name basis.
Better yet, a nickname basis, Vitamin D.
Glad to hear you say that, because we have a favor to ask you.
You know how Dil... Vitamin D has his own t-shirt business?
Oh, I should have seen this coming.
Yes, I will model for you, but I'm going to need to own the negatives.
Okay, great.
Don't fight it.
There it is.
As you can see, our little duck harbor has a working lighthouse.
Wait a second, what in the world did he just say?
A working lighthouse?
Yes, it is working...
Pretty cool, huh?
Easy, easy, Lily.
Forget everything you've ever heard about eggs.
They're actually quite delicate.
You've got to be very careful.
Son of a... Oh, no!
Oh!
Ah!
Hot!
Hot!
Hot!
Oh, hey.
Look!
We've got a runner!
No!
Hey, good as new.
Okay.
I said stay.
The duck's imprinted on Claire.
It's not a big deal.
Come on, guys.
She said stay!
Where is he?
Are you okay?
What are you talking about?
I'm fine.
No, I'm sorry.
You are now!
Ruben!
Oh, my God.
Phil!
Phil!
Phil!
Phil!
Come on.
Why aren't they transferring to me?
I look just like you.
Maybe I don't have the scent right.
He ain't studying acting.
Okay, we don't have time for this.
You're fired.
Everybody freeze!
Taekwondo!
Eyes on those bloodbaths.
Let's burn them down fast.
Come on, MadSkills87.
You're supposed to be on spell interrupt.
Do not let those casters get off any more frost traps.
Lisa, looks like it's you and me on the lava demon.
Hang tight.
Powder!
Let's send him back to hell in time for mad skills to make it to his oboe lesson.