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Hello and welcome back to Business English Pod for today's lesson on socializing with your colleagues.
In this lesson we're going to learn how to socialize with colleagues you're meeting in person for the first time.
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What do you talk about when you meet someone new or see your colleagues socially?
Some outgoing people apparently never have to think about it.
That just natural socializes and feel comfortable with small talk.
For most of us though, making small talk with new people or coworkers feels uncomfortable at best or painful at worst.
But it doesn't have to be.
We call it small talk because it's light, simple, and informal conversation.
It's not serious, deep, or overly formal.
Small talk is often about personal matters, but not too personal if it's at work.
We often talk about places or things that are safe and avoid controversial topics.
And there's a flow to small talk that can be tricky to master.
Your comments can't be too short, or you'll seem rude.
But if they're too long, people will lose interest.
So what can you talk about if you're meeting colleagues for the first time at say, a conference or a company retreat?
Well, some key topics include your name and job, of course, but also places and travel.
And key strategies include building on other people's comments, making guesses or inferences, and using unfinished sentences to invite other people to speak.
With a handle on these approaches, you can comfortably chat socially with your colleagues.
In today's dialogue, we'll hear a conversation at a company retreat.
People from a large company are gathering for meetings and team building.
We'll hear Michelle, Jen, and Ryan meet each other for the first time.
In their conversation, you'll hear the topics and strategies that I've just mentioned.
As you listen to the dialogue, try to answer the following questions.
One, what information does Jen give in her short personal introduction?
Two, what comment or fact given by Michelle does Jen build on with a further comment?
Three, what does Jen ask Ryan about once he has introduced himself?
Well, that was short and sweet, as far as welcoming addresses go. for a change.
And did I hear him mention grandkids?
I had him down for early 50s.
63 from what I heard.
Michelle Young, by the way.
Great to meet you.
Likewise, Michelle.
Jen Ward, Customer Experience Manager in San Francisco.
And you're in... The other coast, Boston.
Oh, nice.
I just love Boston.
Harvard Square, Fenway Park, Seaport.
I was there in July.
Had a blast.
Did I just hear Fenway Park?
You certainly did.
I take it we have a baseball fan in our midst?
You could say that, but not the Red Sox, I'm afraid.
I'm originally from Toronto, so Jay's all the way.
Well, I won't hold it against you.
It's nice to meet you.
Michelle Young.
And this is... Jen Ward.
Great to meet you both.
Ryan Beattie, Marketing.
And so you're from Boston, Michelle.
And Jen, you're from... Beautiful San Fran.
And you said you're originally from Toronto?
So I take it you're no longer there.
Did you have to travel far?
Berlin, actually.
Wow, Europe!
Yep, just flew in a couple hours ago.
Apologies if I look beat, but I am.
Wasn't sure I'd come down for this after checking in, but I think I might be getting my second wind now.
Better hope it lasts, because apparently we're going bowling after dinner.
Oh, great.
Always nice to find new ways to embarrass myself.
Now let's go through the dialogue again and look at the language and techniques the three colleagues used in their conversation.
The conversation begins right after a speech or welcoming address from the company CEO.
Well, that was short and sweet as far as welcoming addresses go.
For a change.
And did I hear him mention grandkids?
I had him down for early 50s.
63 from what I heard.
Michelle Young, by the way.
Great to meet you.
Likewise, Michelle.
Jen Ward, Customer Experience Manager in San Francisco.
And you're in.
Michelle strikes up a conversation with Jen, a co-worker she's never met before, by commenting on something they're both experiencing.
And Jen responds positively with a comment of her own.
In this case, they're commenting on the CEO's speech and his age.
The focus is not on themselves, but what they're seeing.
Once they've initiated the small talk and it's clear that Jen is interested in chatting, Michelle introduces herself by giving her name.
And Jen responds with her own introduction with a very common pattern of information.
She gives her full name, her job title, and her place of work.
In this case, they both work for the same company, so she just gives the city name.
Let's run through some examples of this kind of short personal introduction to someone you've just met.
Hi, I'm Diego Garcia, VP Finance.
Jill Kelly, Regional Sales Manager, Southwest Division.
Hi there.
I'm Ivan Taylor with Crystal Media out of Houston.
Paula Schmidt, Head of Communications at Morningstar.
Now listen as Jen turns the conversation back to Michelle.
And you're in the other coast, Boston.
Oh, nice.
I just love Boston.
Harvard Square, Fenway Park, Seaport.
I was there in July.
Had a blast.
In small talk, you can't let the other person do all the talking.
You need to take a topic that they mention and build on it.
In this case, Jen is taking the topic of Boston and telling Michelle about her recent experience there and how much she loves it.
This kind of commenting on what someone says, especially when it's very positive, is a great way to build rapport or a connection.
What are some other ways we can build a connection in this way?
Let's try some more examples.
You're from Hawaii?
I absolutely love it there.
Which island are you from?
I'm a huge soccer fan as well.
What's your team?
Hot is right.
I heard this weather will continue into the weekend.
A holiday sounds nice.
Where are you thinking of going?
At this point, another person joins the conversation.
And to do so, you'll hear him pick up on one of the comments he just heard.
Did I just hear Fenway Park?
You certainly did.
I take it we have a baseball fan in our midst?
Ryan has asked about Fenway Park, which is a baseball stadium in Boston.
And so Michelle makes an easy inference, or guess, that he's interested in baseball.
If Ryan's comment was like knocking on the door to the conversation, Michelle's question is like opening that door and inviting Ryan in.
Making little guesses and inviting comment is a way to invite someone deeper into a conversation.
You're giving them the chance to talk about something that you think they know about or are interested in.
Let's practice some more ways to make inferences to invite further comment.
I take it you've been with your company for a long time.
From the sounds of it, you have a background in finance.
I'm guessing you've got quite a big family if you're so busy.
Ah, you must listen to Mel Robbins' podcast too.
So how does Ryan respond to the invitation to talk about baseball?
You could say that, but not the Red Sox, I'm afraid.
I'm originally from Toronto, so Jay's all the way.
Well, I won't hold it against you.
It's nice to meet you.
Michelle Young.
And this is.
Ryan accepts the invitation into the conversation and reveals that he's from Toronto and therefore supports the Blue Jays baseball team.
You'll notice that Michelle is using some light teasing or joking when she says I won't hold it against you.
That means she won't dislike or resent him just for supporting the Blue Jays.
This kind of joking is appropriate in small talk, but only about simple and safe topics.
After Michelle introduces herself to Ryan, she wants to invite Jen to introduce herself too.
She does this by starting a sentence, but not finishing it.
When we do this, especially when we draw out the last word, people understand that they're supposed to complete the sentence for you.
Passing the conversation to someone else with an unfinished sentence is a useful socializing trick.
So let's practice some more examples.
Nice to meet you, Fiona.
And you are from...
Wow, software development, huh?
And you work for.
I've been with Starbucks 10 years and you've been there for I'm Will Rankin, and here with me today is.
Let's get back to the dialogue, where you can hear Ryan use exactly the same technique of using an unfinished sentence.
Jen Ward.
Great to meet you both.
Ryan Beattie, marketing.
And so you're from Boston, Michelle.
And Jen, you're from... Beautiful San Fran.
And you said you're originally from Toronto?
So I take it you're no longer there.
Did you have to travel far?
Now that the three people have all been introduced to each other, they need to find some things to talk about.
One safe and easy topic is travel, especially if you're at an event with people from other cities or countries.
Jen's question is, did you have to travel far?
She's inviting Ryan to talk about where he lives or has come from.
What are some other ways to ask about travel to an event?
Let's run through some more examples.
Was it easy for you to get to the hotel?
How far did you have to travel for this?
Now let's hear where Ryan has traveled from.
Berlin, actually.
Wow, Europe!
Yeah, just flew in a couple hours ago.
Apologies if I look beat, but I am.
Wasn't sure I'd come down for this after checking in, but I think I might be getting my second wind now.
Better hope it lasts, because apparently we're going bowling after dinner.
Oh, great.
Always nice to find new ways to embarrass myself.
Ryan has traveled quite far for the event.
He uses this fact to comment on how tired or beat he is.
But he also mentions that he is getting his second wind, which is when we get fresh energy after being tired.
And, as you can hear, later in the evening the group will go bowling and Jan and Ryan will have some time to take their social conversation to a deeper level.
Now let's practice some of the language we learned in today's lesson.
Imagine you are an HR manager at a staff retreat.
Someone at the event has approached you and started a conversation.
You'll hear a cue by the other person.
Then I'll give you a suggestion for what you can say in response.
We'll guide you through each step in the practice and provide an example answer for each response.
Ready?
Let's give it a go.
Oh, hi there.
Margaret Geller, Marketing.
Start by saying it's nice to meet her and introducing yourself as Kelly Manning, HR Manager.
Answer.
Nice to meet you, Margaret.
Kelly Manning, HR Manager.
It's a pleasure, Kelly.
Good to see so many amazing people at the retreat.
Now, build on that comment by saying that it's certainly a lot more than attended last year.
Answer.
Yes, it's certainly a lot more than attended last year's.
Oh, is that right?
I really wasn't sure what to expect.
Next, say that you are guessing the person is fairly new to the company.
Answer.
Ah, so I'm guessing that you're fairly new to the company?
That's right.
I joined about six months ago.
It's a really nice change from my previous job.
Next, make a comment about her former work, but don't finish it so that she can provide the information.
Answer.
I see.
And your previous job was?
I was a communications manager for a mining company, actually.
Finally, say that's interesting and ask if the person has had to travel far for this.
Answer.
Oh, that's interesting.
And have you had to travel far for this?
Now let's practice some of the vocabulary we've covered in this lesson.
In a moment, you'll hear a series of sentences with a word replaced with a beep.
Repeat each sentence, including the missing word.
For example, if you hear, I live in San Diego, which is on the west of the U.S.
You can say, I live in San Diego, which is on the west coast of the U.S.
After each response, we'll provide the correct answer.
Let's begin.
Answer.
I was really impressed by Anne's welcoming address at the start of the conference.
Answer I'm sorry everyone, but I'm just too beat to join you for drinks after work.
It sounds like everyone had a at the staff party last week?
Answer.
It sounds like everyone had a blast at the staff party last week.
I was feeling tired an hour ago, but I'm getting my second now.
I was feeling tired an hour ago, but I'm getting my second wind now.
We've reached the end of this lesson on socializing with work colleagues for the first time.
We've learned how to introduce yourself, build on someone else's comment and make simple inferences.
We've also covered how to use an unfinished sentence to invite someone to say more and how to ask about travel to an event.
For more practice.
Premium members can access the online quizzes and PDF transcripts for this and other lessons on the BEP website.
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Thanks for listening, and see you again soon.
