This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 462.
Mind your P's and Q's in Business English.
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Hey, Aubrey, how's everything going today?
I'm great, Lindsay.
How are you?
Good.
Glad to be here.
What are we talking about today?
I have a fun question to start us out here.
Are you good at minding your P's and Q's?
Yeah, I would say I'm pretty good.
I think that my parents made an effort to teach me.
Although sometimes we don't know what we don't know, right?
Right.
We might make mistakes, right?
We're doing our best, but we don't know, especially in different cultures.
So we don't know what the P's and Q's are for each culture.
100%.
100%.
So I'd say probably, but not 100% sure.
Yeah, I'll take that answer.
I'm about the same.
I would say I try.
I do my best.
We got a great question about this phrase.
I'm excited to dive into it today.
Yeah, this is from Joao de Souza Luz, right?
So Joao says, Hey, gals, how are you doing?
I hope well.
I'm just a curious guy from Brazil who likes to listen to your podcast.
Hoping to see your answer soon.
Very nice.
Yes, great question.
This is a really fun expression.
We do use it at work.
We could tell someone, mind your P's and Q's, right?
Just means to be careful about your behavior or speech.
We use it in social situations, but also at work, anytime.
And we'll often refer to it to ourselves to say like ooh, I need to be careful to mind my P's and Q's if I'm needing, for some reason, to be especially careful about what I say and do.
Yeah, it's always kind of interesting when maybe you walk into a scenario and you become very heightened, realizing you have to be very polite and be extra vigilant about your P's and Q's.
Right.
Maybe you go into a meeting and members of the board are there or the CEO.
You didn't expect it.
You never know.
Suddenly it's like, OK, mind my P's and Q's.
Right, right.
Exactly.
That's when you wish you had gone to finishing school or something, you know?
Right.
I need all of the etiquette.
But it's interesting because in some meetings, we'll be a little more informal and jokey and silly.
It happens, right, when we're with coworkers that we know really well.
And then depending on who's there, we might mind our P's and Q's a little more.
Exactly.
So it's really all about the scenario, the context.
Exactly.
Right.
So some example sentences you might say to someone mind your P's and Q's in this contract negotiation.
Their CEO is really big on etiquette.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And that can happen again.
You mentioned cross-culturally.
That's huge.
Yes, absolutely.
CEOs might.
Especially if you are traveling abroad to do business, the CEO might want to see that you've done your research.
And that you understand what is polite and what's not.
So doing that extra work will be very key.
Here's another example.
We might not want to bring Mark to the client lunch.
He's not great at minding his P's and Q's.
Oh, we all know, uh, what was it?
Mark, Mike, right?
This happens.
Sometimes we have coworkers that are a little more fun and jokey and there might be certain client lunches that you don't bring them to.
Right.
Maybe the person like speaks with their, you know, eats with their mouth open or something.
Exactly.
So it could be etiquette like that.
It could be just speaking without thinking.
And if you need people to be a little more aware of their speech and their actions.
Maybe we leave them.
Or sometimes I know probably this happens to Americans going to Western Europe, speaking really loud, right.
That kind of thing.
Yeah, you probably noticed that when you're living in Belgium.
Did you when you saw...
Expats or tourists coming to Brussels, maybe?
Yes, this definitely happened, right?
You'd be at a cafe and you'd hear the American accents from a mile away because they were very loud.
You'd see their white sneakers.
There's so many things that make an American tourist stand out.
And often it is.
I know some loud talkers, right?
And we just don't realize sometimes how loudly we're talking.
Yep, that's it.
Okay, what else, Aubrey?
What else do we need to know?
We want to share some of the fun theories of origin for this, because no one's sure exactly where it came from, but there's some.
Um, interesting ideas.
Like it could have come from the printing industry, where lowercase P and Q are mirror images of each other.
So typesetters had to be careful not to flip them to confuse them.
Right.
Cause they look the same flip.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Could be that.
What about pubs?
The other theory.
So this is.
Another theory is that in English pubs customers would have to keep track of their pints and quarts, whether they ordered, you know, P or Q pints or quarts of ale.
And so the phrase could have originated from bartenders reminding patrons to be mindful of their tab and what they're ordering.
Interesting.
I love these theories of origin.
Very interesting.
I feel like maybe the last one is the one I always assumed it was, right?
Pleases and thank yous.
Qs, right?
A simpler interpretation where P and Q stand for please and thank you.
Yeah, it's interesting.
The end of thank you sounds like a cue.
So it could be that just urging politeness.
Be sure to say please and thank you.
Mind your P's and Q's.
So it could be any of these.
But I feel like honestly, P's and T's would have been just fine too, right?
Like please and thank you.
Why did they choose Q?
So that kind of negates that theory.
I don't know.
I like to think it's from typesetting from the printing.
I kind of love that.
I mind the P's and Q's.
Don't flip them.
That's probably it.
Again, there, or it could be none of these, right?
You know, sometimes, or sometimes it's multiple origins.
It's history is multi-layered, right?
Yes, exactly.
Right.
So it can be really tricky in business English to correct or warn someone about their level of professionalism.
Like imagine this person, Mark, that we're leaving from this client lunch.
If you felt like you wanted to ask him to be professional so that he could come and you could trust him.
The phrases that you use can either build or hurt the connection.
So we want to share a couple of the phrases that we can use that mean the same as mind your P's and Q's that are appropriate for the business setting.
And then a couple that are used more for social situations and not as much at work.
All right.
So the ones here, the ones first that are appropriate for business.
So the word tactful.
Right.
So you could say something like, let's be sure to be tactful at this client meeting.
They seem to value professionalism highly.
Yes.
And it means the same thing.
It's a little more formal, a little more polished than saying, mind your P's and Q's.
That's very idiomatic.
It's an expression to just say, let's be very tactful.
Let's be sure to be tactful is a more polished way to say that.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Or be professional.
What would that sound like in a sentence, Aubrey?
Yeah, you could say, everyone, please be very professional when the client arrives.
We really need this deal to go through.
So maybe there's a meeting.
Often, you know, you're all friends.
You've gotten to know each other.
You might be telling jokes or being funny.
And we want to dial that down a little bit.
Let's all be professional.
Exactly.
Now we're going to move into the ones that you do not repeat again, do not want to use in business.
Right.
So these, these might work for social situations and especially these.
Right.
Because it is you're criticizing, maybe disciplining parents. watch yourself is a good example.
Imagine if I said to a coworker, watch yourself in this meeting.
We really need this deal to go through.
That's very unprofessional and condescending.
I wouldn't recommend that.
The only time I could potentially see it could be between two co-founders, right?
Like they're on the, they're like early stage startup.
They're at the same level, maybe back and forth really close to each other.
Right.
This is interesting.
Right.
But most like this.
You'll certainly hear this phrase in English, but it's most likely going to be between peers outside of work especially.
There can be a really negative connotation.
You say like, hey, watch yourself.
You're kind of saying like if someone has just said something you disagree with, you're criticizing what they said.
Yeah.
And the next one is even worse for the professional world because it's something you might say to a child.
Don't you think Aubrey?
It does feel that way.
So this is be on your best behavior which interestingly, this means the same thing as be professional, be tactful, mind your P's and Q's, but it does feel condescending.
It feels like something that would be said to a child, a young person, and so wouldn't use it at work.
Exactly.
I love it.
All right.
So we will take a quick break and then we'll do a role play because that is what our listeners love.
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All right.
We are back for a wonderful role play here.
So here, what the context is is that I am meeting with my direct report Jamie, which is played by you, Aubrey.
I will be Jamie in this role play.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anything else we need to know here?
We got a lot of details.
So I have been a bit too informal and blunt in client emails lately.
So Lindsay is having a private conversation to address it.
It's a real skill here.
Hey, Jamie, thanks for making time to chat for a few minutes.
I wanted to touch base about our client communications, particularly the tone we've been using.
Oh, has there been a problem?
Nothing major, but I did notice a few messages that came off a bit direct.
With some of our more traditional clients, it's really important to be tactful and maintain a polished tone.
I see.
I do tend to write like I talk, straight to the point.
Totally understandable, and I appreciate the efficiency.
At the same time, we want to make sure we're not unintentionally coming across as abrupt.
It helps to be professional and soften the language a bit.
Think of it like remembering to mind your P's and Q's.
Those little etiquette details go a long way in keeping the relationship strong.
Got it.
I'll take a closer look at how I'm phrasing things.
Thanks for the heads up.
I appreciate it.
I know you care about client relationships and just a small tweak can make a big difference.
Let me know if you'd like me to look over anything before it goes out.
I like this.
I love all of these phrases.
And it's interesting especially to think of how different the tone would be if you use the phrases we don't recommend, right.
If you said watch yourself at all or...
You need to be on your best behavior, right?
These don't have the tone you need.
Whereas the ones we are recommending, the ones we used here, really strike a respectful, professional tone.
Yeah, this was a really successful meeting, I think, because both sides were open.
Both sides kind of showed concessions in a sense, right?
Like understanding the other side.
So big success here.
So I started by saying it's really important to be tactful and maintain a polished tone.
Yes.
And I am recognizing like okay yes, when I write emails, I write like I talk.
I'm getting straight to the point.
I'm not really thinking about being tactful and making sure my tone is professional.
Exactly.
And then I kind of guided you a little further.
And I said, it helps to be professional. and soften the language.
And then what else did I say, Aubrey?
You said, think of it like remembering to mind your P's and Q's.
Those little etiquette details go a long way in keeping relationships strong.
So I can see this being a way that we would use that phrase in the business world, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And I think we could only use that though, because the conversation is working so far up to that point right.
If I started the conversation, like Jamie, I need to remind you of P's and Q's, that would not start things off in a good way, because it's way too casual.
It's something you might say to a child.
Exactly right.
It might put me on the defensive very quickly.
Because that's what's interesting about this phrase, mind your P's and Q's.
It's not going to be perfect for every situation because it's an expression.
It is quite informal.
Yeah.
And I'm kind of framing it to again.
Even at this point in the conversation I'm not saying you know you need to mind your P's and Q's.
I'm saying think of it like remembering your P's and Q's.
Right.
So this is like imagine this framing it in a way.
Exactly.
You're creating some distance between what you're telling me and any kind of accusation or criticism, right?
You're saying it in a very constructive way.
Yeah.
Very smart.
Very smart management here.
Geez.
I should learn something from this.
That's great.
No, I think it went well.
And it's interesting to really think about all of the different phrases we have for something like that.
Some of them will have this connotation.
That's, like you said, more what we would say to a child, or too informal.
And we really have to think about which phrases we're using in order to show respect to our co-workers.
100% words matter.
Absolutely.
Aubrey another episode our listeners could go to right now if they're on the streak and they want to keep going.
They're feeling great.
It's Business English 460.
Be playful with your mistakes to boost connection.
Yes, that was a great episode.
A really fun way to point out minor mistakes to build connection.
Love it.
Love it.
Where should we leave our listeners today?
Yes, it's really interesting how the phrases that we use when giving feedback or maybe talking to someone about professionalism could certainly give offense or hurt feelings.
So we want to make sure that we're like you said, Lindsay, words matter.
We want to use phrases that will build connection instead of hurting it.
Excellent.
Fantastic.
This has been a good episode, Aubrey, and I'll see you back here next time.
All right.
Yes.
All right.
Take care.
Bye.
Bye.
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