This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 459 Simple Swaps for Better Hedging in English.
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Get the english skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business for a presentation, a meeting or your office party.
This is real business english, with your favorite american hosts, lindsay and michelle, coming to you from new york city and colorado.
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All right.
Hey, Michelle, how's it going today?
Hey, good, Lindsay.
What should we record today?
Well, maybe we should record a few All Ears English episodes.
I'm not sure, but I think maybe we could maybe take a look at the next few episodes, I think.
Are you OK, Lindsay?
I'm not OK, Michelle.
SOS.
Oh, my gosh.
You sounded so unsure of yourself there.
Oh, and it didn't start our conversation off in a good way.
Right.
It's not fun to talk to someone who's not sure of themselves.
It's really not.
It's painful.
Yeah, that was.
So today we're going to answer a listener question.
This is going to be really, really interesting.
It's a great question.
So, yeah, this comes to us from YouTube from it says from.
Phrase Kim.
Oh, it says Ryan Kim.
Yes.
Lindsay, would you?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
I was going to say, don't forget that our YouTube, we have a whole YouTube channel.
If you prefer to watch podcasts, which many people do, you can get All Ears English podcast over there.
This show is not yet on All Ears English YouTube.
It should be soon, but it's not there yet.
But you can get our content or vibe the same.
You know, Michelle and I and Aubrey over there, on All Ears English.
If you type that in when you go to YouTube.
All right.
Yes, exactly.
All right.
Could you read Ryan Kim's question?
Here we go.
Hi, All Ears English team.
This is Ryan Kim, and I have a question.
Sometimes I feel like I use too many safe expressions like maybe, I think, I'm not sure, but because I want to sound polite or careful in English.
But I wonder do native speakers ever feel it's awkward or weak if someone uses too many of these softening phrases?
When does it help connection and when does it hurt confidence or clarity?
I'd love to know your thoughts on finding the balance.
Michelle, incredible question.
A perfect question.
It's really good.
And I bet so many listeners are hearing this question and thinking yes, like I also have been wondering the same thing.
I love it.
I love that we get to answer this question today.
So first of all, great question.
Very valid question.
Where do we start today?
Yeah.
So, I mean, Lindy, how did it feel to you?
How did it sound in the beginning of our episode and the conversation?
Do you think it was a little too much?
It was a little too much, Michelle.
I mean for me, because I was the one who was speaking with the lack of.
Well frankly, it came off as a lack of confidence.
Maybe I was just trying to be careful, but the way it came off was is that I'm not confident in what I'm saying?
Either maybe I'm not competent, potentially.
It's not fair, but that is sometimes how it might come off, right?
True.
Yeah.
I mean, you were using, well, maybe, I'm not sure, I think, I think, right?
And it just was a lot.
Yeah, you didn't sound confident.
And especially with business, I mean, you want to sound confident.
And yeah, so this listener wants to know how to find that balance.
Because we've often talked about these hedging phrases to sound nice or flexible.
But It's you got to be careful.
And I mean this makes me think about all of our episodes, how we is, you know.
You know, when we have a role play and we're doing similar expressions, that we say we wouldn't use all of these at once.
Same idea there.
You know, too much of something is not a good thing.
Right.
Totally agree.
That's right.
Yes.
Good point.
We're going to really talk through this and how someone should find that balance.
So Lindsay, we have a few ideas, and I'm definitely curious to hear what you think along these as well.
So what's the first way?
Yeah.
So thinking about the context, always think about, you know, where are you?
You know, who are you talking to?
Are a lot of people throwing out ideas in a way that, in a non unapologetic way, or you want to mirror them.
Right.
Do you need to sound more confident?
Yeah.
Are you leading the group?
Do you want to show flexibility?
Do you want to want to be inviting?
What is the vibe you want to let off?
Yeah.
Yeah.
These are all these context questions, right?
The background.
And that's really important to consider all of this.
We always talk about, oh, it depends on the context.
It depends on the context.
I mean, same thing here.
And then the second thing is how confident are you and what you're saying?
So lindsay, you mentioned, you know confidence competence um yeah, if it's your expertise um, i would say try and avoid these, right you?
If, if you're unsure okay, you know, use some of them, but if you're really confident, show that confidence Yeah.
And there are a lot of people out there that show the confidence, even if it's not their expertise.
And believe it or not, they end up succeeding a lot in their careers.
And hopefully they eventually build the competence to go along with that.
But I don't know.
I think we need to find that balance between you know, sort of showing that we have something to learn here or that we could be flexible, versus we're confident in ourselves and we're moving forward.
And it doesn't always directly reflect the amount of knowledge we actually have about the topic.
Right.
Yeah.
And then the third thing is to just try and level up a bit.
So, have slightly stronger hedging expressions.
So, you know, it doesn't always have to be, I think, maybe, might, right?
There are kind of different layers.
I mean, there's kind of the ones that are very showing more that you're unsure, which have a place.
I mean, it's not that these shouldn't be used.
And then there are kind of the middle ones.
So if you have a little bit of variation and you build that vocabulary, then you can use slightly stronger ones and not feel as much like you're showing weakness or incompetence if you use it too frequently.
Ooh, I love that idea.
And I'm excited to get to the end part of the episode because we're going to talk about those some other options, some other resources for how to hedge in a confident way, right?
We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.
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Okay, Michelle, there are a few other things that we should think about.
The fourth one is frequency.
So obviously, are you using these all the time?
If you find that they're becoming like linguistic habits.
We've talked about linguistic habits on the show.
Definitely be cognizant of that and try to cut back.
Yeah, exactly.
Everything in moderation.
And then yeah Lindsay, is there anything else that we haven't discussed that you think someone should consider when finding the balance?
Yeah, I think, just understanding, like I think we said this, but the level of knowledge in the room?
So understand your knowledge relative to who's in the room.
Right.
Like it's weird to lead with total confidence on something when the person next to you is like a lifetime career expert on that thing.
Yeah, that's a little weird.
But it's also not motivating for you to be saying I think, maybe I'm not so sure in a very humble way.
That's not interesting for them to talk to you either.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So good point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, and then Ryan, our listener also asked about when it helps connection and when it hurts connection. confidence or clarity.
So to me this comes back to if you want to be inviting, do you want others to share their ideas with you?
Because then it could really build connection, make people feel open and confident to share what they think.
Right.
But Lindsay, when could it hurt you?
I mean, like I just said, so You if you are super, super, I guess what would be the word shrinking?
Yeah, I'm thinking about it physically.
You're kind of physically shrinking yourself in relation to the topic and your own abilities and self-confidence on the topic.
People don't really connect with that.
So it's okay to leave a little space to acknowledge you don't know everything about the topic, but people want to connect with someone that is somewhat sure of themselves.
So I think it can absolutely hinder connection.
For that reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember when I was a kid, I knew a girl.
She went to summer camp with me.
Sweetest girl in the world.
Yeah.
But she always said sorry.
Yeah.
Even if it wasn't for anything you need to say sorry about.
Yeah.
And we would tell her, you don't need to say sorry for that.
Right.
And she she did get a reputation for saying this.
Now, this is a kid.
Right.
Yeah.
But it is true.
You can get a reputation that can hurt your connection and certainly how confident you appear and and also the confidence others have in you.
Yes.
And that will 100 percent hinder connection.
Yes.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, again, like that in school, too.
I remember that.
Really?
Yeah.
I knew a couple of kids like that, too.
It's interesting how we develop these linguistic habits.
And the thing is, it's weird if we go on autopilot.
I mean, she may not.
Who knows?
I don't know this girl, but she may not have felt like she had to apologize.
She was just using that as a filler phrase. right?
That's the really dangerous part, right?
Yeah, that is dangerous because not only it, sometimes people become famous for using a word or a phrase or whatever it may be, but it doesn't.
Yeah, they're known for it, but it's not actually necessary.
It's more neutral.
Yeah.
Oh, this person says this word a lot.
This person says that.
But if you're saying sorry and things that can actually, you know, show that you think less of yourself actually, then that's the issue.
Yeah, I totally agree.
So again, just to recap, we're going to consider how often are you using the phrases?
What is the context?
Who's in the room?
And how do you want to appear?
Right.
So we each each of our listeners are going to have to make a decision on this personally in that moment.
Right.
But we just want to understand what are the repercussions for connections exactly?
Yeah, it really is, just for it's different, for many different factors.
So again, everything in moderation.
So now we're going to teach some expressions that sound a little bit more confident but are still polite.
I love um, yeah.
So the first one is i believe right.
So instead of i think maybe right.
Yeah, i believe Yeah.
And I love that we're looking at stronger hedging expressions.
And I think I believe is a great one, because it's kind of putting your stake in the ground a little bit more.
And it's like standing up and saying what you believe in, what you believe is true.
It's putting a little bit more skin in the game on something.
Yeah, that's why it's stronger.
It's not as weak of a hedging phrase.
I like that.
Yeah.
So I believe our customers will flock to us if we focus more on their needs for the summer.
I love it.
I love it.
Yeah.
These just sound, frankly, more grown up, more mature, more like developed, more confident.
Yeah.
In my opinion is the next good one.
So for example, in my opinion, we should use our marketing budget on social media.
This could be huge for us.
Right.
I mean, and that's so different from if you said, I think maybe, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It sounds so different.
There's something about those phrases that's just immature.
It's just young, right?
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And then the last one is including, I think, but it's leveled it up a little bit because you're adding something.
Here's what I think.
Right.
So instead of just saying, I think, saying, here's what I think.
This one to me sounds very confident, actually.
Absolutely.
Right.
Here's what I think.
It's important for our company to work hard to build our email list.
It would be great to focus on that.
Yeah.
I know at some point we talked about this speech pattern where someone will say X Y, Z is true, and here's why.
And then a pause.
And then you don't live for the reason.
We love that.
Yeah.
I remember that.
Oh, that was so good.
Yeah.
That's a very, I like that.
And here's why.
And here's why.
I feel like I haven't been able to really integrate this as much into my daily speech, but I would love to try again because you're right.
You're still kind of hedging in a way.
You're still giving space for people to interject and say, actually, that's not true.
And here's why.
But you're putting your stake in the ground a bit more, putting a little more skin in the game, and you just sound more developed, more competent.
So these fully build connection in a better way than I think, maybe I'm not sure.
Right.
And other filler words.
Right.
Cause those are, they're a little bit, I think I'm thinking of the word flimsy.
Those are a little weak.
Yeah.
They're, they're a little flimsy.
This feels like, okay, there's some support.
You're, you have some strength, but you're still showing that openness.
Yeah.
And even and part of professional success.
Instead, deciding you're just going to say, here's what I think.
And then you go on to it.
You're actually just forcing yourself to change the words.
And therefore, the thinking and the confidence levels might follow.
Oh, cool.
Right.
Oh, I like that.
That was deep.
Yeah.
Should we do a role play?
Yeah, let's do a role play.
So here, Michelle, we are team leaders.
So we're discussing the agenda for a meeting that we're going to lead the next day.
So we're at the same kind of level in the company.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
So what should we start with?
Well, here's what I think.
We go with what works.
Icebreaker, budget review, new ideas.
Yeah, I think that sounds good.
But in my opinion, we should consider getting everyone lunch.
You think?
Yeah.
Yes, I believe Tara mentioned we have some good coupons for the pizza place down the street.
Oh, great idea.
All right.
Nice.
So we use one of the powerful ones here.
You asked me what we should start with.
And I said, well, here's what I think.
So you're giving you're kind of giving yourself a bit of a platform.
People are not going to start speaking after you say that.
They're going to know that something more is coming.
Right, Michelle?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to be able to really hold the floor.
And then it's interesting because I said I did use I think.
And it's not that it's bad to say I think.
Right.
That's not bad.
Just don't overdo it.
Yeah.
I said yeah, I think that sounds good, and I think that and I think now um, it would almost be.
I don't know if I said I believe that sounds good or in my opinion, that sounds good in some ways.
Sometimes you can make it.
Sometimes it's not necessary to have that extra.
Uh Right, I think it's more about when you are really presenting your ideas.
Ideas, that's a key.
Yeah, I think you're right, Michelle.
When you're the one presenting the idea as opposed to responding to someone else's idea, right?
Exactly, yes.
And then I said, but in my opinion, we should consider getting everyone lunch.
Yeah.
That's a really important point.
What we just said.
This is about again, like we said, staking you know a claim in the ground and saying putting your skin in the game, more skin in the game, and taking a chance and proposing an idea.
And as opposed to just responding, reflecting, OK, yes, I agree.
Sure.
Good idea.
Right.
And then you said I said, you think.
And then now here you're you're stating an opinion.
You're taking a position.
You're saying yes, I believe Tara mentioned we had some good coupons for the place on the street.
You could get away with saying i think.
You could say i think, but you know we're trying to use this right right, we're playing around, um.
But yeah, so you can see, we used a little, we used more of the strong ones, but we also used the, i think, and there's nothing wrong with that.
But We have to consider when we want to add a little support to our hedging right.
Yes, I love it.
I love it.
This has been a great episode.
I'm glad that we had some options to hedge better, right?
Hedge better.
Hedge better.
Guys, go check out episode 456 of this show How to Be Polite in English When You Need a Quick Answer.
And while you are, you know, going around the podcast, why not hit the follow button to make sure you don't miss a single episode of this show?
You can do three days a week with us on Business English.
Awesome.
I love it.
Takeaways for today.
Everything in moderation, right?
You're never going to go wrong if you play around with a bunch of different ways of saying something.
Don't stress.
Try not to form.
I think one important point you made was about trying not to make these linguistic habits um, just using something as a filler.
Try to be really purposeful with what you're choosing and why.
Um, yes, I think that's helpful.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
I believe you're right, Michelle.
But on the flip side, you could actually use habits to your advantage.
Um, and you could just say I'm going to make a habit instead of saying instead of every time I Want to make a statement and then as, and then say I think at the end, because that hedges it right, that pulls it back Instead, use one of these constructions that we've suggested.
Here's what I think try making that simple swap Right.
Yeah, don't feel like now you need to overhaul everything, right?
Choose one that we did for today.
Yep.
Use it.
Simple swaps.
Love it.
So good.
Yes.
Simple swaps.
I like that.
Great stuff today, Michelle.
We'll talk to you very soon.
Have a good rest of your week.
You too.
Bye, Lindsay.
Bye.
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