This is the Business English Podcast, episode 324, how to own compliments in business English.
Welcome to the Business English Podcast from All Ears English.
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For a presentation, a meeting, or your office party, this is real business English with your favorite American hosts, Lindsay and Aubrey, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.
Hey Aubrey, how's everything today?
I'm great Lindsay. How are you?
Good. I have a question for you today.
You ready? Yes, I am ready.
So are you good at accepting compliments?
When someone says that you've done something good or something is great, do you accept that compliment?
Do you? I'm actually really terrible about this Lindsay.
I don't know if you have noticed.
I don't know why. I think maybe it's how I was raised, right?
How I grew up. Yeah.
I get really uncomfortable.
I wish that I were better at owning compliments.
I get really uncomfortable if I feel like I'm bragging or if anyone else is bragging.
I don't know if it's like this emphasis on humility growing up, but it's sort of a detriment because sometimes in the business world, we need to own compliments and we need to own our achievements in order to succeed.
Big time, big time, especially in the corporate world.
You actually need to not just own them, but remind people of your role in certain projects.
And I've learned that through partners and friends who have been active in the corporate world, there's a whole thing you have to do, especially as a woman in the corporate world.
There is a lot of gender politics here as well, right?
Definitely part of it.
I think was that I grew up as a woman in the United States as a girl.
And there's a lot here for sure that it's something that I need to train myself to be able to do.
And I'm guessing a lot of you out there might be in the same boat.
Yeah. This is a multilayered issue, right?
So there's gender, there's family upbringing, there's culture, there's regional culture.
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay.
There's a lot here, but today we're going to talk about what did this means for the words we choose.
Right? So before we get into it today, we're going to ask our listeners guys, go ahead and hit the follow button.
Today's topic is going to be really interesting and you're going to be able to immediately employ this at work.
So follow to get three episodes a week of business English.
Yes. And this was inspired by a recent episode that you may have missed if you're not following.
So stay to the end.
We'll share what that was.
We promised to follow up.
Yeah. This came up in that episode.
All right. So today we're going to show our listeners then three ways to accept a compliment.
Own a compliment. Not just accept.
Own it. Because it is one thing to accept a compliment and just say thank you.
But there are some phrases we use in English to really own a compliment.
Yeah. And just be clear, it is okay also to say thank you.
You know, it is okay just to be kind of neutral, but we're giving you a little something more today.
So you have other options.
Because you're doing great work.
You're going to get a lot of compliments.
And you're always saying the same thing.
Let's mix it up. Okay.
Yes. And you wouldn't want to say these every time, right?
That's a little tricky too, because at least in American business culture, yes, you need to highlight your achievements.
You need to own compliments.
But there is this aversion also to someone being a braggart, like someone who really brags all the time.
And if you were to say one of these phrases every time someone compliments you, that would be strange as well.
A hundred percent. And just to add a little additional nuance to that, there's also a gender double standard here when it comes to really owning your work, your good work, your compliment.
I think women are held to a different standard.
The expectations are different.
But let's just get into the words and we'll add some commentary on culture along the way.
Okay. Sounds good. Yes.
Our first phrase is you ain't seen nothing yet.
And this is a fun way to own a compliment, but in a pretty lighthearted fun way.
I mean the word ain't is in there.
So it's pretty casual.
Yeah. We're getting really casual here.
And we're also going to be really aware of who's around us.
I would tend to use this in a very small team.
If I really know the people around me very well, this is not for in the board room when your boss is standing up.
There's 25 other, let's say like C -suite level and people and they compliment you.
You're not going to stand up and say you ain't seen nothing yet.
Right? I agree. A hundred percent.
Personality or trademark or something, but generally not.
Yeah. And even if it is, if you're saying this all the time in big meetings with, you know, in a board meeting, it might be irritating.
For men and women, just to be clear, both it would be irritating coming from a man and a woman.
Yes. Good point. Yes.
Both. Right. Because it's kind of tongue in cheek.
You're sort of being intentionally playful and silly.
So think about the, the who you're around and what type of situations would you be playful and silly.
And that's when this is appropriate.
Or if you are after work, you're out for after work drinks with a coworker.
And it's just a side conversation with someone you're very close to at work.
They're saying you did a great job.
Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.
I've got all these other plans.
Right. That's the time for that.
Not in the more formal scenarios where you're being recognized.
Right. Let's do a mini role play of just like that.
Maybe we're at happy hour lunch break, a very informal situations, just you and I, and we work pretty closely together.
I'll start us out. Great job on those reports.
I was really impressed by how thorough you were.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
I would love this. It's a coworker.
Like you're just being kind of fun and silly.
And sometimes, especially if you are a personality like me, who it might be awkward for me to get this compliment, you know, to be recognized for this work.
Even if it's a friend, I still might sort of diffuse the awkwardness with this phrase.
Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.
I'm being fun and playful to sort of get rid of the awkwardness.
Right. So sometimes that's what we do to diffuse awkwardness.
We become more animated and we become a little bit more over the top as a way to kind of take it in.
Right. Fascinating.
Yes. This is a really interesting phrase.
The intonation is important, too.
It would be strange to be like, you ain't seen nothing yet.
I don't know. Like the way we say this is very much like you ain't seen nothing yet.
Like, you really be pretty animated and fun.
If you're going to go for a phrase like this, a bold phrase, you got to punch it as we say, right.
You got to ride the intonation, the up and down, have some enthusiasm, a big smile.
You know, you want them to respond with like, maybe a laugh and maybe just like, awesome.
Yes. I'm excited to see what's in store.
And hopefully you have more in store, too, if you're going to say that.
Right. Hopefully you're not quitting the next day.
All right. So that that one is the most, let's say, hyperbolic, the most sarcastic, sarcastic, in a sense, not really sarcastic, but big, the biggest response.
OK. For sure. So what's the next one, Aubrey?
Right. Number two is similar.
And it's to say there's a lot more where that came from.
Yeah, I really like this.
I think this is very fun.
I think I say this a lot and not just at work, you can say this in your everyday life, too, like playing sports and you do well and someone compliments you.
This is a fun thing to say, but we do use it in business as well.
Yeah, that's kind of fun.
I like that idea of the sports thing.
Let's do a role play here.
So I can't believe you know how to use that software.
You have so many hidden skills.
There's a lot more where that came from.
This is fun. That's fun.
And again, that one is also between a coworker you're close to, right?
Or you're having like a fun, playful relationship with, you know, maybe the tech person.
You clearly know them well.
Yeah. Maybe like you have a rapport with the tech person and they come up and you tease them and they tease you a little bit.
That's the kind of vibe you're just not right in the formal scenario.
And for me, it would almost be awkward to just be like, thank you.
They're giving me this compliment.
Again, this is sort of diffusing any awkwardness to like really own the compliment and then push it even further.
Like, I know. Right.
I'm amazing. Right.
And there is always like a little bit of an air of sarcasm there too.
Right. Third way. What is it, Aubrey?
So this is really interesting and very common, at least in the States, that when someone is complimented, they'll say, thanks.
I try. And it's sort of a more humble way to accept or own a compliment.
But I feel like it's so native and natural.
And I could imagine someone being confused when they hear that.
What do you mean you try?
It's weird. Yeah, it's weird.
It's also. Yeah. It's a little bit.
It's humbling. Right.
And it's, let's do a role play.
Let's show our listeners.
Okay. Yeah. I'll say, great job on that presentation.
Thanks. I try. Yeah.
Yeah. I think I feel like this used to be common in the past, like 10 years ago or 20 years ago I used to hear this more.
You don't hear it as much now.
Personally not. But I don't know.
We all work from home.
So that's the thing, right?
If we were in person in offices, maybe we would say this more often.
That's true. Good point.
But yeah, I do feel like I used to hear this a lot.
And I could imagine myself still saying it.
If someone compliments something I do.
It just means like, you know, thank you for the compliment, but it's kind of this interesting phrase.
You're like, thanks.
I try. Interesting.
It really does sort of mean like I put in effort.
You know, it kind of does mean like, you know, hey, I'm doing my best over here.
But there's also sarcasm in there too.
Right. It's also kind of playful.
It's playful. It's an interesting mix of sarcasm, playfulness and straightforward.
Thank you. Right. And the intonation is vital here too.
It kind of would be strange to be like, thanks.
I try. Yes. We raise our voice.
We're like, thanks.
I try. Yeah. You really need to, again, deliver that correctly.
And so listen, we're going to be listening a lot for how other people are accepting compliments and we're going to be starting to mirror what we hear.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So where to now, Aubrey?
Yeah. So we want to talk a little bit about the culture of this, like in the U .S., especially.
Right. Right. Is it okay to use these to own compliments at work?
We definitely covered this some.
Yeah. These are not great for these more formal situations, a board meeting, right?
This time where you're not in a position where you would accept a compliment in sort of a fun, playful way.
Yeah. These are for pretty specific situations that are a little more informal.
Exactly. I think the most important thing is try not to reject the compliment.
Right. Yeah. It just doesn't feel like you did something well.
Someone took the time to say that you did a good job, accept it in a way that feels right for your personality.
Yeah. I love that you're saying that.
I feel like this is very common for someone just to say, no, like, no, so -and -so is better or no, I didn't do that good of a job.
Like maybe they're uncomfortable with compliments and so they're rejecting it, which can really create awkwardness, both for the person who complimented you.
Yeah. And, you know, and then you're not owning this amazing thing you did.
So I love that. Accept the compliment.
For sure. And then just strategically speaking from what I've learned through friends and family, especially in the corporate world, when you're not necessarily in a tiny company where everyone knows what people are doing from a strategic career position, especially if you're a woman, but in general,
you do need to communicate what your role was.
So if you do go about rejecting it because you feel awkward, there could be results career wise, right?
Using promotions because someone thinks someone else is doing it.
Yeah, yeah. Or you give the credit to someone else that might be your personality might be more prone to avoid sharing your, you know, your part in something, letting someone else take the credit and you're really doing yourself a disservice.
It's actually an intentional skill that I think a lot of people learn throughout their careers.
It has to, even if it doesn't come naturally, it has to be a skill you kind of train in a way.
So we could go into that.
We could have guests on the show.
There's a lot we could do there.
I'll bring, I need to hear all of those episodes.
I am really terrible at this.
All right. So should we go into a role play?
Let's do it. You and I are coworkers in this role play.
I'll start us out. Okay.
That holiday party last week was so fun.
I heard you organized it.
Yes, I did. I'm glad you had fun.
It was really well -planned.
You have a real knack for event planning.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
They put me in charge of the next party, and I'm going to go all out.
Awesome. I'm sure it will be a blast.
I could use some help, actually.
I was impressed when you threw that get together for Jan's birthday.
Oh yeah. There's a lot more where that came from.
I'd love to help. Nice.
Nice. Nice. I love this role play.
So complimenting someone on hosting a party, right?
Yes. Right. There can be anything where you notice someone did something well.
You're wanting to compliment them.
And we use both here.
You first said, oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.
They put me in charge of the next party.
So you're sharing kind of why you're saying this.
And this feels more natural to me.
It would be kind of strange to be like, you ain't seen nothing yet.
And I would sort of have to ask like, what do you mean?
Are you going to host another party soon?
Yeah, that definitely implies something else is coming.
You can't just say that if you're just accepting it and nothing else is on the table for the future.
This makes sense to say, you ain't seen nothing yet.
I'm in charge of the next party and I'm so excited to go all out.
And then let's see.
I said I could use some help or I gave you a compliment.
I said I was impressed when you threw that get together for Dan's birthday, which I kind of love this strategy.
If someone has complimented you own the compliment, but then you wouldn't necessarily want to keep bragging and go deeper and deeper.
It's like this is such a great skill to turn it around and compliment the other person as well.
Yes, exactly. If it makes sense.
If something comes to mind, don't force it.
Don't feel like you have someone's complimented you, you don't have to come up with something that's not real.
But if you if something comes to mind, it makes sense.
And then I said, oh, there's a lot more where that came from.
I'd love to help. So this is this fun way to own that compliment that you have given me.
And also a really fun way to share that, like, I'm actually really excited to help.
Thank you for asking me.
I love it. So there is another episode back in the archives again, Aubrey.
What is that episode that our listeners can check out now?
Yeah. So this is the episode that inspired today's.
Yeah. Yeah. Today's episode.
Right. And it was it was two eighty four here on business English.
Should you say, ain't in business English.
If you miss that, check this out because you might be surprised by the answer.
There are some phrases that we use in business English with eight.
There are chunks when you should use it.
Yeah. This is if you're going to use a you really need to understand the right way to use it and the right time.
So there's a lot there that I want to make sure you guys know.
So, you know, hit the follow button on business English first.
Then go back. Scroll back down a couple of months back.
You'll find two eighty four.
All right. Yeah. Don't miss it because you probably shouldn't say it just as a verb.
Ain't no business English.
But there are chunks where we use it all the time that you should be using one hundred percent.
Aubrey, where should we leave our listeners today?
Yes. This is such a fun thing to do in business English to be a little more playful, a little more fun.
Right. Don't be so overly formal when it's the right situation with coworkers.
You know, well, this is a great way to own a compliment.
I love it. So again, first of all, don't reject the compliment, own the compliment and then play around with your personality and the moment the context who's with you to know how, you know, fun, playful, sarcastic do we want to be?
OK. I love that. I love that as a takeaway, too.
Right. Don't don't reject the compliment and to build a connection, accept the compliments people give you and, you know, help yourself set yourself up for success at work by letting people know what you are accomplishing.
Yeah, we're going to get into that topic a little bit more this year.
Very important topic.
So. All right. Aubrey, I'll see you in the next one.
You have a good day.
You too. See you next time.
All right. Bye. Bye.
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