This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 18.
Get unstuck in your English career and life with Stephen Worley from Unstuckable.
Welcome to the Business English podcast from All Ears English.
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Lindsay, how are you? I'm great. Aubrey, how are you?
How's everything going today? Good. Yes.
It's a beautiful day here in Arizona. What about where you are?
As always, you know, we're lucky we live in states where there's really a lot of sunshine.
So sun is shining in Colorado also. That's good for your soul.
I have a question for you. So it's related to what we're talking about today.
I'm wondering if you have ever felt stuck either in your life or your job.
Oh, it's a great question. I guess, you know, when I first finished college, it did take a little bit of time.
I knew that I wanted to go abroad, but...
I wasn't sure where. I thought I wanted to go to Africa.
And then I thought about going to Asia and teaching English.
But it took me some time to figure out what to do.
There was a bit of paralysis there. And I was nervous because I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm living at home for it was like three months in which I was at home.
And for me, that felt like I should not be doing that.
Right. So, yeah, I felt stuck in that moment, but I did figure it out.
What about you? Oh, yeah, similar. I've definitely been in jobs where I sort of felt stuck.
And when I finished my bachelor's degree, it wasn't it was European studies.
It was a European history degree with an emphasis in French, which I loved.
I chose it because I was excited about the classes and I wanted to study abroad.
But then I finished and and I didn't know what to do from there.
Right. So I kind of felt stuck. I didn't know what to do with my career path.
And luckily, I was able to do a master's degree and do the New York city teaching fellows program.
And that's how I got unstuck. That really propelled me.
I found my love of ESL. And so, yeah, I think, I think this is very common, right?
I think our listeners will really relate to this of having a goal they want to accomplish, but maybe feeling stuck for some reason, either lacking resources, lacking motivation.
That's such a frustrating feeling. Yeah, I think a lot of our listeners get stuck kind of at that intermediate level or upper intermediate level.
They feel like they can't quite get to that near native 99% fluency level, right?
So that's a really common place where people get stuck.
Yeah, for sure. So I'm excited for you guys to hear our guest today, Stephen Worley.
He's the co-founder of the Unstuckable podcast about getting unstuck in your life or your job and to figure out habits that will help you find and work on your own terms, right?
Yeah. So this is going to be great. He's going to share three tips with you of how you can get unstuck if you're feeling that way, how you can be more successful in English.
Yeah, and I'm excited today because habits.
I love that we're going to talk about habits.
I think habits are everything, Aubrey. It's so true.
Yes, right? Okay, let's dive in and hear Stephen's first tip.
Okay. One of the most important ones, especially if you have a glimmer of an idea of a goal that you think you want to do or accomplish one day, whether it's improving your English or some other professional goal that you have, it's what we call hanging around like-minded people, hanging around other people, who want to do the same thing that you want to do, or are doing what you want to do, and you can learn from them.
You know, this is like the old adage, you know, your mom says, would always tell you, you are the company that you keep.
Yes, absolutely. Turns out, she was right.
I love that. Mom is always right, right?
Now that I'm a mom, I especially love that.
I love it. I love it. It's really true, though.
You need to surround yourself with people with similar goals, similar study or work habits, and they will help motivate and support you and propel you forward.
And of course, these friends can be found online. online or offline, right?
In person. So if you don't have anyone in your life who's also learning English, you can find speaking partners online.
You can find a community online that can support you and motivate you.
Yeah, this really makes me think of that Jim Rohn quote, the famous one, you are the average of the, what is it, five people or four people you spend the most time with?
Oh, I haven't heard that, but it's so true.
You've never heard that? Oh my God, it's so common.
It's so true though. It's whoever you're surrounding yourself with.
It's true. You'll become the average of them.
You're not going to be the best probably.
You're not going to be the worst. It's so true.
But if you think about that, I mean, wow.
Think about your social circle. Think about who you hang out with, those five people, and then think, is that right?
Is that what I want to be, right? Yeah. Right, exactly.
It's interesting. And I think we have different friends for different functions, right?
I've got some friends that I'll go, you know, out to a bar just to hang out with.
And maybe they don't have the same goals and motivations.
But I also want to have the friends in my life that are language learners and are very highly motivated.
And so it's not like you can't have any friends that don't have the same goals as you.
But you also need to surround yourself with those like-minded people who will motivate you.
Exactly. Exactly, Aubrey. I mean, everyone is adding value.
As long as someone's adding value in your life, it's okay.
But maybe it's about the amount of time we're spending with people, right?
How much we're prioritizing what we're doing with them.
Yes, exactly. All right. So let's hear his second tip.
He's really getting into the habits here talking about awareness.
So let's hear about that. Another one of the key habits, as we call them at this point in time, awareness and there's lots of different ways to look at awareness I think when people hear that word they think meditation yoga prayer which are all great practices very timeless practices but what we're trying to help people realize is that you are already living your life.
You're already subconsciously making a lot of decisions about the direction of your life.
But when you want to make a big change or a big goal, you have to use your time, energy, and money in a different way.
So you have to start bringing awareness to that.
So some very simple awareness exercises.
So for somebody who has no idea what they want to do, but they know what they want to make some big change in their life, a simple awareness exercise is just recognizing when you complain throughout the day.
Like keep a little journal, something on your phone, and just write down, why you complained and even and then try to take a guess about why do you think you made that complaint and then record this over a week or two weeks or maybe in a month just to look for some trends to find out what's making you unhappy what is stressing you out that is a great way to do it or just something simple like going for a walk you know when you feel a lot of anxiety you're feeling frustrated with something at work or something your personal life like get away from that situation go for a walk it's always it's a great way to connect your mind with your body to calm down and to actually hear your own voice, right?
Because in our very crazy world today, there's so many different things competing for our attention and our mind.
And sometimes the simplicity of a walk allows us to hear ourselves think again.
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This is really interesting, right? Like he said, for some people it's meditation, yoga, or prayer.
It will look different for each of us. What does that look like for you, Lindsay?
Yeah. Awareness. Oh, I definitely, for sure.
So an awareness practice is definitely a big part of my life.
And I've been meditating since 2009, actually, in New York.
It helped me get out of a tough time in my life around that time.
And it's been able to just help me keep my mind steady since then.
Right. So awareness practice can be as simple as sitting down, you know, once a day, even as little as three to five minutes.
It is a practice and following your breath and steadying your mind and not allowing your mind to follow the waves of life.
Right. We're always being jostled. I love that bonus word today.
Jostled. Yes, bounced around for whatever we're thinking about or doing.
And I love this awareness habit he's talking about to make a record of complaints, to be more aware of what you're complaining about and when, write them down and think about them, and then to look for trends to try and see what you need to change in your life.
And this really relates to language learning, right?
We need to be aware of what isn't working and make those changes.
Yes. Yeah, I'm excited to hear about his experience living in Spain and how this tied in.
Yes, let's hear that here. Okay. I think you just bring up a great point, too, because I remember when I had the opportunity to live in Seville, Spain a few years ago, because I really wanted to.
I had studied Spanish throughout high school and college, but never really learned it effectively.
The best way to learn a language is to be around other people who want to speak it.
And I remembered, to your point, the limiting belief of it.
I always felt like I had to speak perfectly for people to understand me.
And I really just gave up and let go and said, you know what?
They understand me. So I don't have my verbs perfectly conjugated and I have all these grammatical errors, but they still understand what I'm saying.
And that actually brought an excitement to learning Spanish in a way that I had never felt before.
And I actually started to improve just because I got more excited and I felt more comfortable about it.
And then people at different times would politely correct me, but they did it because they knew I was really interested in learning language.
It wasn't from a judgmental place. And I think I always took it as that.
Oh, this is, it's all about connection, not perfection, right?
Once he was realizing that being perfect isn't what mattered, he made that shift so that he's not worried about being corrected or judgment.
He's just wanting to make those connections.
Exactly. And the ironic thing is that this is going to make him such a better Spanish speaker, right?
When you let go, when you redefine, you flip the script, you say, this is my measurement of success, right?
It's the connection. You become better faster.
Exactly. So true. Okay, let's dive in and hear his tip number three.
Yeah, I think a lot of us were always thinking about, you know, as you become more aware, you start realizing, well, if I want to achieve this big goal, where's the time going to come from?
And one of the things that we've heard time and again in our interviews and things that I've been experiencing in my life is really, you have to really get a hold of your morning.
That is where you can become so productive.
If you're bored and Things are out of control.
The rest of your day is going to be out of control.
Simple things like getting up an hour earlier than you normally would or an hour earlier before the rest of your family in your house is going to get up and start vying for your time.
If you have a family, if you have a spouse, a dog, whatever.
And really focusing on what's really important.
What's the thing that you really want to get done that day in your personal life, in your professional life?
What's one of the first things that people do when they go off to work every day?
They go to the office and they start working on their email.
That is probably one of the worst things you can do because you really want to focus on what you want to get done.
When you're answering your email, as Mike Vardy, other productivityist says, you're allowing other people to dictate how your time is going to be used.
Why would you do that? Yep. Absolutely.
Other people's agenda in your email inbox, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah. Or just even simple things I've gotten in the habit of drinking an eight ounce.
Well, I'm not sure what that is in metrics for your listeners throughout the world.
A cup. How about a glass of something? But a decent amount of water I drink.
The first thing I do every morning just to like flush my system.
Because we don't think about the biology of our body that it's going to make us feel better.
And I take time to back to that awareness.
I take time to meditate just to... Even though I've been sleeping, a lot has been my mind.
My mind has been working all night long.
So I want to give it a break and I want to let go of whatever it was thinking on chewing on while I was asleep so I can have a clean slate to start my day.
I love that asking, where is the time going to come from?
Right. You can't make a goal if you have zero free time and you're not carving out that time.
Right. It's so important to actually think about, OK, if I'm going to do this, where will that time come from?
Yeah, respect your time, right? Respect it.
You maximize your time in the morning and kind of prepare.
This is also a bit of an awareness practice.
What I mean by that is, for example, if I'm going to go skiing in the morning, I know we have to leave the house at 6 a.m.
So the night before I lay out all my ski clothing, prepare my breakfast, I'm taking care of myself because I know I'm going to need breakfast in the morning.
That is awareness and that is self-care.
And all of this allows us to perform better in the morning when it's go time.
So treat your time that way, guys. I love that.
So that you, when you first wake up, you can hit the ground running.
As we say, I love that. It's go time, right?
It's time to get started right now. And that idiom to hit the ground running, it means you're already ready to go.
So you can start right away. And that's true.
If you wake up and you then have to pack, you then have to prepare all of these things.
It's really starting everything off poorly.
Exactly. And it's not just the fact that you're scrambling around, your ski socks are flying in the air, right?
It's the fact that you're scattered and then you're starting your day in a scattered way that does not lend itself to achieving your goals, guys.
Exactly. Oh, this is so great. I really loved these tips.
Thank you so much to Steven for joining us today.
And I just, as a takeaway, guys, if you feel stuck, the first thing is make sure you're hanging out with like-minded people that are... boosting you, motivating you, encouraging you.
And I love that to think about being aware of when you're complaining, writing about the complaint, reflecting about it, and figuring out how can you resolve it instead of just being upset about it.
What do you need to change? Yeah, guys, if you can just implement at least one of these tips, you're going to be way ahead of the average person when it comes to learning.
So good. So good. Yes, so good. And then just that last tip to reclaim your morning.
Like you said, have everything planned the night before so that the next morning you can really get a hold of your time and get ready to go so that you can start everything more productively.
You got it. So guys, if you love these tips, don't forget to hit follow on the podcast, right, Aubrey?
It's so important to make sure they hit follow so they don't miss a single episode of All Ears English, by the way.
Yes, exactly. Four episodes every week. And they're all excellent, if I do say so myself.
So be sure to follow Allers English, guys, wherever you listen to your podcasts.
All right. Good stuff. And thank you to Stephen for coming on the show.
This is fantastic. I'll see you in the next episode, Aubrey.
Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you, the high achieving global professional.
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