This is the Business English Podcast, episode 152.
Can we talk privately? What to say in this awkward situation? welcome to the business english podcast from all ears english get the english skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business for a presentation a meeting or your office party this is real business english with your favorite american hosts lindsay and michelle coming to you from new york city and colorado usa Still translating in your head when you speak English?
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Hey, Michelle, how's it going today? Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
I'm feeling great. Do you often find yourself in situations, Michelle, where you need to talk with someone privately on the side in the workplace, let's say?
Um, you know what? I don't know if it comes up too much at like at All Ears English, right?
I don't know. You know, I think that this is like especially good for In person?
In person. Yeah. I mean, do you ever have this situation?
Maybe because you talk with a lot of like, you know, you're on the phone with lots and lots of people.
Do you ever like have that situation where you want to say something privately to someone?
But yeah. Yeah. Um, I would say more of my social life, actually, because in our case, we're a remote company, 100% remote.
So unless we're on like a group meeting, everything is a private call.
Yeah, right. So it's a little bit different.
So today's episode really is for our listeners who are back in the office.
Right. In the workplace. Yeah, I would say so.
Yeah. Yeah, I think so, too. I mean, yeah, sometimes you are you need to say something on the side to someone, but there's someone else there.
And it's this feeling of. A little bit of an awkward feeling because you don't want to be rude, but you need to say something to someone else.
And, you know, it has to be done. So that's what we're talking about today.
So this is going to be an interesting one.
Guys, we want to remind you to hit follow on the Business English podcast.
Right, Lindsay? Oh, for sure. And today, even if you guys are in a remote company, by the way, after you hit follow, just tune in here, right?
So hit follow. Yes, hit follow on the show.
But I just want to make one note about today's episode.
If you're working for a remote company, then this skill will be great for your social life too. right?
Absolutely. Yeah. I could tell you I've been in situations in my social life for sure, where I'm at a party, maybe like a family gathering where I need to say something to one person.
Yeah. This kind of situation comes up with more than you might think.
So yeah, it's relevant for everybody listening to the show today, whatever your work situation, you might find that you actually do have experiences online.
Like maybe you have larger meetings a lot.
And so you kind of do need to say something, even if it's remotely, you need to kind of signal that you, you know, it's for a, for a certain person.
So, um, Yes. But again, remember to hit follow.
Anyway, so but here are some examples. So maybe it's supervisors making a decision.
Right. So maybe you're like trying to hire something, someone or maybe you are having a meeting like with the whole team, but you're a supervisor and you need to go over it with the supervisor.
Like you can't just decide with everybody there.
Right. Right. Right. Or maybe you're working with a coworker or a colleague on a project and you have to talk to that person about your plan.
Maybe let's say your boss is going to ask you about it, but you have not synced up yet with your coworker that you're working on it with.
So it's not like some big secret necessarily.
It's more like you need a channel with that colleague.
Right. Yes, right, right, right, exactly.
Or maybe you need to talk to your supervisor about an issue.
Like, let's imagine, you know, your supervisor is assigning something to you in front of a group and you need to, you're like, you want to say yes, but you know there's something else that you need to say, but you don't want to say it in front of everybody.
So that could be awkward. Like, you don't want to, what do you do?
Yeah, that's very awkward. Yes, completely, right?
Especially if final decisions are being made about things.
You need to be like, press pause and then find a way to connect with that person.
So what can we do here, Michelle? What do we have to know?
OK, well, I mean, yeah, the the best option, I think, is to just wait for a better time.
Right. Like and hope that. But sometimes we can't do that, like in the situation that I just brought up.
But if you can, you could say something like, hey, do you mind meeting with me later to go over the right to the reports, the files, whatever it is.
Yes. Or you could say, are you available to talk this afternoon?
That's very neutral. It's just asking for time.
Right. Right. Right. And so these are the easy ones, guys.
You're able to put something off. But what if you are at the meeting, there are multiple people there and you just need to talk to one person?
This is where it becomes hard, right? Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. And you might have some jitters about it, right?
Like on episode 147 of this podcast, the Business English podcast, we talked about how to help your new coworker with first day jitters in English.
Yeah. This could be related too, right? Because if you're new at a company, you don't quite know the norms of how to do this, right?
So guys, if you couple today's episode with 147 just a few days ago, it'll be good.
It'll be helpful for you. Good stuff. So what would be... All right.
So let's imagine we're in that scenario where we're all in this meeting and you just need to talk to that one person.
First thing you could do is... So the person's name, right?
So like Larry could I don't know why I said Larry so random.
Larry, could you give us a second? Right.
Could you give us a second? And yeah. Right.
Right. Right. Right. Or another thing you could say is sorry, Larry.
Sorry, Larry. And then say, I need to talk privately with why.
So sorry, Larry. I need to talk privately with Mary.
It'll just be a minute. I love it. So good.
Loving these names. Or you could say, so sorry, Larry.
I didn't... Sorry, I don't know why it's so funny.
That was the first name that came to mind.
So sorry, Larry. I don't mean to be rude.
I just need to talk with Mary for a moment.
We'll be right back. Yes, that's right.
Guys, if we have any listeners named Larry, please let us know.
We love the name. I don't know why it came up.
So these are great. These are very, you know, they're, we don't, I think that's the point, right?
Because recently on Aller's English Podcast, I interviewed a couple of writers, professors about writing.
And the same thing is true with speaking, Michelle, in the business world.
We don't need big fancy words to get our mess, to be effective at work.
It's really about using easy, simple words, but putting it together at the right time, in the right way, with the right tone.
That is success in relationship building.
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, these are fairly simple, guys.
We're not always, you know, teaching like, oh, here are the big complicated things.
But this is more about, you know, social norms and social context and all of those things.
So, I mean, Lindsay, is there ever a time when it would be inappropriate to tell someone you like, I mean, you're basically telling the other person to take a hike.
Like, you're... In a nice way. Like, you know, so when would that not be okay?
Yeah, I don't know. I think... Yeah. Inherently, it's a little bit like people might get a bit of a hangover from like being a teenager and being kind of taken out of the cool kids crowd, right?
It could be a bit of that feeling like being excluded, right?
And the human mind, human beings don't want to feel excluded.
So I see what you mean by saying it's not rude.
It's just, it's a little prickly automatically, just what you're trying to do.
Right. And that's, that's why it feels so uncomfortable.
It's like, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah. It brings you back to those middle school days.
Then like, it just, yeah, exactly. So like, I, I mean, I, I think it would be a little awkward if you just did it with people who are, they're like all on the same level as you and you're basically telling one person to stop listening and you're, okay.
I don't know. That would feel funny to me.
Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Could be. Yeah. I mean, it could be.
Listen, there are always going to be situations where it's like, I mean, maybe, listen, maybe it's just not relevant to the other person.
So you're just kind of doing them a favor.
Like, oh, we have to go over those files.
Like, but if it's like something where it seems like a secret, that's what it, you know, if it seems like a secret and it's like...
I don't know. That could be. Yeah. And we could do another episode on how you might do this if it's that scenario.
And it's really just not relevant. Things you could say, especially online.
Like I've heard around my house, I've heard people like, you know, working with online work, the saying, I'm going to give you some time back.
I'm going to give you that time back. And I'm just going to meet with, you know, Mary for a minute.
You know, meaning the original plan was that you, your coworker, and let's say your boss would be on the meeting together, but you need to talk with your boss.
And maybe you're saying to your coworker, Hey, like you can have this time back.
I need to talk with, right. So let's go into that another day.
That's actually a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's good. I mean, that's actually being respectful of someone's time.
So that's good. So if you rephrase it around, it's a benefit to that person that could be super useful. right right I mean I also wouldn't necessarily say this to your boss right like oh sorry like you know or then obviously not just like don't be malicious like not that any of our listeners would but like you know don't be like that yeah don't play mind games don't use it in a manipulative way don't be toxic at work yes exactly Abercrombie's viral denim sale is back and Spotify listeners get an extra 15% off with code SPOTIFYAF
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Exclusions apply. See details online. All right, Michelle.
So do you feel funny when you do this? I love that as your signature expression.
I know. You know what? I know. As I was looking over the plan, I saw that I wrote feel funny and I'm like, oh, she's going to get me on that.
And you did. You know, I was thinking that maybe for our anniversary celebration of 10 years of All Ears English, we have to print out some t-shirts and one of this, all of our English isms and one of them could be, I feel funny.
Really? Okay. I actually love that idea.
That's really good. Yeah, guys, if you don't know what we're talking about, then you are clearly not following the All Ears English podcast, our other biggest podcast, which is focused broadly on English fluency skills.
Also great for business. Go check it out.
Type in All Ears English and you'll hear lots of episodes where Michelle uses this signature phrase, I feel funny.
What does it mean? I feel strange. Yeah, I feel strange.
I feel awkward. Something's off. Something's not right.
It's just a signature phrase, but we all have ours.
I always say, I love it. I love it. Yes, that's what I was going to say.
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I feel funny.
Okay, this is a good idea. It'd be fun to develop one phrase for each of us, like one t-shirt.
Anyways, we're going off here. So do you feel weird doing this, Michelle?
In general. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I would if I, you know, especially in my personal life, like I I try not to.
But I but I do think sometimes it can be necessary, especially in the workplace.
You know, this whole idea of this episode is about doing this without breaking a connection.
Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes, that's what this comes down to is like, we want to connect with people, we don't want someone to feel like they're, you know, in the school, in the schoolyard, and no one's picking them for the soccer team, like, you know, but sometimes it is relevant.
And sometimes that person will just understand, maybe it's just obvious that doesn't have to do with them.
But like, You know, I mean, if you do have to like, you know, to get someone out of the conversation, you can always say something later or apologize or say, oh, this had nothing to do with you.
You know, so just, you know, think about just always put yourself in the other person's shoes.
Yeah. I mean, some of it depends on how secure and confident that person is that's being kind of exclude it a little bit, right?
What I would personally do, I would probably avoid this entirely and just pull that person aside later.
Once I'm not in, let's imagine we're in that group of three and I need to talk to, I'm person B, I need to talk to person A. I would probably just wait until that group breaks up of A, B, C and go and approach that person later if possible.
You know, like, hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, right. Right. Right. So like, yeah, the only time it's like, what if you're, yeah, you're, you're making some decision in the moment.
So like, obviously there are special circumstances.
Sometimes you can do that. And that's ideal.
Like, that's what I said. You know, the first, the first option is to just not do it at all.
But if you have no choice. Yeah. If you have no choice, it might happen a few times in your career.
We'll see. Right. We'll see how often it happens, but let's do some role plays.
Shall we? Here we go. All right. Well, Lindsay, we work together.
OK. All right. So here I need to talk to Jessica.
And so and then the three of us are talking.
Is that what it is? You mean Jessica? Yeah.
OK. Well, sorry, Michelle. I need to talk privately with Jessica.
It'll be just a minute. Oh, OK. No problem.
Yeah. It's just probably not. It's not a common situation.
Like, I don't imagine that really coming up.
Like, I don't know. You know, I think that anything that I needed to talk to Jessica privately about, I would just do it on another occasion.
You know what I mean? Like there wouldn't be if we're making a decision as a team.
I don't think there'd be any reason why.
You know what I mean? Right. But that's, yeah, like our company online, you know, guys, you have to let us know.
I'm curious, you know, if this situation does come up a lot for you, especially if you're a big, especially I think if you're the decision maker, right?
If you're a supervisor, like, does this come up where maybe you need to talk to another, you know, another team leader, you know, and you need to talk privately for them.
So you don't want like, you know, the interns around or you don't want, you know, like that kind of thing. of thing.
So like, I think in our company, our company, you know, we're, we, we have a tight knit group and, uh, I don't, I don't think that, yeah, it doesn't seem like a big all ears English.
Let's do another role play. All right here.
I need to talk to Aubrey. All right. All right.
So sorry. Oh, sorry. Okay. That I started that out in such a dramatic way.
I'm going to start again. Here we go. All right.
So sorry. All right, here we go. So sorry, Lindsay.
I don't mean to be rude. I just need to talk with Aubrey for a moment.
We'll be right back. Oh, okay. So you guys are going to go into the corner, have a conversation.
Yeah, we're going to gossip. No, no. And like, I wouldn't ever say this to you.
Like, yeah, again, this isn't about I use the names just because I had them, but it's not really about something that would happen.
Totally, totally. I mean, so we've talked about today, guys, this could be a useful skill.
It could end up ultimately being more useful in your social life, which is great, right?
And sometimes social life blends with work life at a happy hour at a work party, Christmas parties, who knows, right?
Yeah. For sure, for sure. And I just want to throw out one more, like if you are, especially if you're working on Zoom a lot, sometimes people will say this expression, like, we'll talk offline.
You've heard that? Yeah, for sure. We'll talk offline.
Yep. So that means you're going to take, that's also another great way to do it.
Right. We'll take this another time. I could also see something happening where maybe a more likely scenario would be if we have a team meeting and then let's say Jessica and I had a plan to meet after the team meeting without a break.
And then like everyone's kind of lingering, that sort of thing might be a way this might come up where that would be needed.
Get out. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Get out everybody.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. All right, guys.
Well, we hope that this isn't a situation that has to come up with you a lot.
Like this is not an ideal situation. Like Lindsay said, maybe it's more for social life, but it could come up, especially in the decision making process with a large group.
So that's where this is really relevant for.
So but guys, you know, just don't make anybody feel left out.
Explain the situation. Apologize. But always the first option would just be to just grab the person you need to talk to later if you can.
Yeah. I mean, the key to maintaining business relationships is staying professional, right?
Stay professional. Always use empathy. Think about what other people are experiencing and you can't go wrong.
So good stuff, guys. Hit follow on Business English.
All right, Michelle. All right. All right, Lindsay.
Have a good day. Take care. Bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you, the high achieving global professional.
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