Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here.
On today's episode, Rolo and Baby with a Mustache make up a bunch of funny bumper stickers, you know, for cars or boats or boats that this season are operating more like cars.
And of course, we have two brand new stories written by kids and more story love with Lee and Peter.
And that's all coming up after a few words for the grownups.
Captain's log.
Day?
Unsure.
Location?
Unknown parking lot destination infamy.
The story pirates and i rolo, have taken a brief stop on our journey to storyteller con, and my kid is an honor roll student in the candy aisle.
That was funny.
Oh, oh, the mothman ate my map?
I, uh, I don't get it.
Oh, wait!
Oh!
I still don't get it, but I like it.
Baby with a mustache.
Would you mind reading bumper stickers from random cars a little further away from me?
I'm trying to use my new dialogue to design machine.
Oh.
Sorry, Rollo.
I love all these cool bumper stickers.
And since all the other pirates went on a long day hike and we opted to stay behind to watch over the ship, I've got plenty of time to read them all.
I wish we had one for our ship.
Something to give folks a chuckle when we drive by them.
Huh.
It does feel particularly off-brand that we don't have a hilarious bumper sticker.
Right?
Wait, what's a dialogue to design machine?
Oh.
It's this new thing I got because writing in the lanchet makes me queasy.
You talk into the microphone here and then it takes your words and prints them out into a beautiful design.
Here, say something into the microphone.
I'd rather be combing my mustache.
Okay, and then I push print here and...
It prints out a beautiful design.
Isn't that neat?
Super neat.
Wow, my words look even better on paper.
But it's not limited to just paper.
Look, when I flip the switch, The program automatically connects to my Bean Emporium website so I can dialogue to design menus, update my daily specials and share fun bean facts.
How elegant.
And not only that, the machine can print temporary tattoos, to-do lists, and stickers.
Stickers?
Rolo, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
That we should feature a frosted bean layer cake next month at the Bean Emporium!
No!
That we should use your dialogued design to make a bumper sticker for the ship!
What do you say?
Let's do it!
And so that you know I'm serious, let me get that to you in writing!
Here you go.
Cool.
I love Story Pirates.
It just filled me up with joy.
My mom loves the jokes.
Yo, yo, my joke.
It made me very proud about my writing.
Stop thinking.
Why don't I put a little twist in here?
I definitely think I can be more creative now.
I'm the champion.
The story pirates.
Welcome back to the Story Pirates Podcast, everyone.
Where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy.
And songs.
Okay, Rolo, what's your next bumper sticker pitch?
How about this one?
Wait, I thought you were the tugboat.
Rolo, that's like the 20th idea you've had.
That's for a regular ship that goes on the water, not a land ship like ours.
What can I say?
I'm a pirate first.
You can take the sailor off of the sea, but that does not a land bumper sticker lubber make.
What's all that dinging coming from your dialogue to design machine?
Oh, let me check.
Sweet beans!
I forgot to flip off the switch that connects my dialogue to design machine to my Bean Emporium website.
What does that mean?
Every bumper sticker I've pitched has been designed and put up for sale and they're selling like hot bean cakes.
How is that possible?
A lot of sailors, pirates and stowaways follow my blog Sailing the Seven Beans on the Bean Emporium website.
I guess I liked my bumper stickers.
Here, look at what YoHoHo23 said.
I never thought about putting a bumper sticker on my boat.
Great idea, Rollo.
There are a bunch more comments just like this.
Well, before we read through all of these, should we listen to a kid's story first?
Sounds good.
And here to introduce it is the author.
Hi, my name is Zach, and I'm 12 years old, and I live in Colorado.
This is my story, The Attack of the Dino Nuggets.
Zach, come on down for lunch.
Here I am, Dad.
Hey, are you forgetting something?
Where's your... Magic juice box?
Uh, yeah, he did forget me.
Sorry.
Coming, MJB.
That boy.
That's better.
I may be a magic juice box, but I still can't move by myself.
Don't ask me why.
Oh, my son and his magic juice box.
Has there ever been a better duo?
Nope.
What's for lunch, Dad?
Your favorite, dinosaur chicken nuggets.
Rawr!
Awesome!
No, Benson.
None for you, boy.
These nuggets are for humans.
Now, before I hand you this plate of delicious chicken nuggets shaped like dinos, what is the number one rule in this house?
No spilling.
No spilling of what?
No spilling magic juice on any animal-shaped food items.
That's right.
You remember what happened last time.
Ooh, gummy bears.
Dibs.
Ugh, you knocked me over.
Oh, no.
Or the time before that.
Ooh!
Animal crackers!
Dibs!
Ooh!
You knocked me over!
Oh no!
Or the time before that!
Ooh!
Goldfish!
Dibs!
Ooh!
You knocked me over!
Okay, to be fair, that one wasn't too bad.
But you get my point.
We get it, Dad.
Magic Juicebox, I love having you around.
But my son, Zack, always knocks you over.
Maybe if we put you in a cup?
With a lid?
No, Dad.
A cup?
With a lid?
Never.
What's next?
Sunscreen at the beach?
What?
Yes.
Every time.
That's a terrible example.
Whatever.
He won't spill again.
I promise.
You can trust us this time.
Really.
All right.
Well, here are your dinosaur chicken nuggets.
Now I'm going to go help your mother with the mulch in the backyard.
Ooh, dino chicken nuggets.
Sips.
Ooh, you knocked me over.
Oh, no.
The dinos are growing.
One foot.
Five feet.
Twenty feet.
Roughly 60 feet.
Bruh!
Their dino nugget mouths are dripping with ketchup!
Run!
To the backyard!
No!
Don't leave me behind!
I can't move by myself!
Don't ask me why!
Sorry, my bad!
Gotcha!
Come on!
Mom!
Dad!
What is it, honey?
And magic juice box?
The dino nuggets are chasing us!
To the house.
It just burst through the wall.
Not again.
I am so sorry, my main man daddy-o.
Do not ever call me that.
What do we do now?
I know.
To the lab.
Son, your mother is a decorated biochemist and her at-home lab is reserved for studying the chemical and physical principles of living organisms.
Oh, thank you honey, but this is an emergency to my lab.
Wait, how are we gonna get past those dinos?
Good boy buddy wait, did you bring me your dog phone?
Great idea hey dinos, Now's our moment.
Let's go.
Back inside.
Don't leave me behind.
Remember, I am a magic juice box, but I cannot walk on my own.
Do not ask me why.
No one is asking.
Well, would it hurt you to ask?
Come on.
We made it.
Now, everyone, put on your safety goggles.
Mama's gonna make a potion.
A little splash here.
Oh, a little down there.
And done.
We have our potion.
Now, let's make sure we don't knock this over.
Benson, you knocked the potion right out of Mom's hands!
No!
Don't drink it!
Look!
Something is happening to Benson!
A cage is growing out of his fur and he's starting to fly!
He's becoming Super Dog!
You can talk?
I can do more than talk!
I can fly!
I can save the day!
And I can turn on the TV!
Breaking news.
Giant dinosaur nuggets are attacking the city.
Let's go, Benson.
It's time to save the city.
I can fly us all there.
I hope no one here is an anxious flyer.
Here's the thing about me, Benson.
I'm a magic juice box, but I cannot move on my own.
Let's go.
We made it to the center of the city!
Whoa, those dinos look scary!
Whoa!
Time to use my laser eyes!
Bah!
Bah!
Not so fast!
Super Dog, attack!
Whoa!
Run, dino nuggets!
The dog is eating us!
The dinos are gone.
You did it, Benson.
Yay!
And look who's coming.
It's the mayor.
Yes, it's me, Mayor Banana Pants.
It's a family name.
Great job, Super Dog.
We all thank you for saving our city from the monstrous chicken nuggets.
You're welcome.
Excuse me.
I think it's time we go home.
Wait, I have something to say.
What is it, MJB?
I think that I'm ready to go in a cup.
What?
Zach, bro, we keep spilling, my man.
We keep causing animal-shaped food items to come to life and we keep dragging our family into unnecessary emergencies.
Think about it, King.
If you kept falling off your bike, what would you wear?
A Band-Aid?
What?
No, a helmet.
Right, yeah, a helmet.
No, that's what I said.
A helmet.
Ergo, my bro, I need to be in a cup with a lid and that's okay.
You're right.
Let's go home, everyone.
And hey, what's for dinner?
Pigs in a blanket?
Dibs.
Don't ask me why.
The end.
Oh, that was an incredible story.
It transported me away from this somewhat uninspiring parking lot we've been hanging out in all day.
I agree.
Wow, another boat bumper sticker sold.
I gotta get this down in my diary on Dialogue to Design so I remember how incredible this feels.
Captain's log.
Day?
Unsure.
Location?
Still unknown.
Destination?
Still infamy, but now infamy of a different kind.
Uh, Rolo?
I, Rolo, have invented bumper stickers for boats, and the wider water world loves them.
That's great, Rollo, but what about making a bumper sticker for the story pirates in our ship?
Oh yeah, I promise I'll get to that soon, baby with a mustache, but I'm in the zone right now for water ship stickers.
Like, I have achieved flow and I need to follow it.
Hey, wait.
What?
That'd make a great boat bumper sticker.
Haha, follow the flow.
Looks like the sailors like it too.
I don't want to get in your way rollo.
I'm gonna go do a few laps around the parking lot so i can keep reading these super fun bumper stickers.
I'll check back with you later.
Okay, see you later.
Awesome, My other car is a haunted painting.
Wow, so deep.
Imagine world peas.
Hilarious, but with a message.
I just hope whatever Rollo comes up with is half as good as some of the bumper stickers I've been reading.
It's been a few hours now.
I wonder where he is.
Baby with a mustache.
Baby with a mustache.
Where are you?
I have some amazing news.
I'm over here, Rollo.
Beside the Subaru that's next to the other Subaru.
There you are!
I did it!
I finally did it!
You came up with the perfect bumper sticker for the land ship?
What?
Oh, no.
I'll get to that later.
I promise.
Okay.
What did you finally do?
I got an interview with the Sea Captains Quarterly.
Can you believe it?
That's great news!
Um, what is Sea Captains Quarterly?
It's the second largest magazine for sailors and sea captains.
That's incredible!
Congratulations!
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Not as cool as say, the mast wanting to interview me, but it's definitely a step in the right direction.
What's the mast?
The Mast is the best magazine for seafarers like me.
If they would interview me, it would mean I had really done something incredible.
I'm surprised you've never heard of The Mast.
You're a pirate, too.
I'm not a real pirate like you, Rollo.
I'm just a story pirate who is traveling the country in a land ship that still doesn't have a bumper sticker.
I know, I know.
I'll get to it.
A call is coming through on my dialogue to design machine.
It's a phone too?
I guess.
And the caller ID says SC Quarterly.
Well, what do I do?
Answer it.
Will you stick with me during the interview?
Of course, Rolo.
I'm so excited for you and your big moment.
Answer it.
Ahoy, ahoy.
This is Rollo.
Yes.
Hello, Sea Captains Quarterly.
I'm thrilled to speak with you today.
Yes, it's been a wonderful surprise.
But people seem to love the boat bumper stickers.
They've gone viral.
My favorite one?
Oh, I couldn't possibly pick.
That would be like a parent picking a favorite child or a bean emborium owner picking a favorite bean.
But I am particularly fond of my latest sticker.
I break for waves.
Wouldn't I break for wake be a little more fun, because it rhymes.
Oh wow, that's better.
Baby with a mustache, do you mind if i use that?
Go for it.
Uh hello, are you there?
Yeah, i meant i break for wake.
Pretty good, right?
How did i come up with the idea for boat bumper stickers?
You know it's funny.
I can't remember right now what Rolo.
The whole thing was an accident after I asked you to make a bumper sticker for the car.
Oh, right.
Let me just tell them real quick.
And it was great talking to you.
Bye-bye now.
Thanks for your help on that last bumper sticker, pal.
Ah, well, it's like that bumper sticker over there says, my other car is a hot air balloon.
Absolutely.
Rolo, are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?
For sure.
But hold on a sec.
I want to remember this moment forever.
Ahem.
Captain's log.
Day?
Unsure.
Location?
Still unknown.
Destination?
Who cares?
I just had an interview with Sea Captain's Quarterly!
Rollo, I am really excited for you, but I'm feeling a little left out.
Do you think we could take a few minutes and brainstorm some bumper stickers for the land ship together?
Oh, um... Just five minutes.
I guess a few minutes couldn't hurt.
Awesome.
Okay, let's free associate.
I'll say a phrase and then you say the first word that comes to your mind, just to knock the cobwebs out.
Sounds good.
Okay, how about turn signal?
Holy cow, it's the mast.
Huh, I don't get it, but no wrong answers in a brainstorm.
Now you go.
No, baby with the mustache, it's the mast.
The biggest magazine for sailors ever.
They're calling me on my dialogue to design machine.
Whoa, answer it.
Ahoy, ahoy.
This is Rollo.
You want to do an interview with me?
Well, I'm pretty busy being a bumper sticker mogul and all, but I could probably squeeze you in.
When are you thinking?
Today at 3 o'clock is great.
Talk to you then.
Goodbye now.
Did you hear that?
I sure did.
And the good news is you'll have plenty of time before your interview to brainstorm bumper stickers.
Oh, dear.
I don't think I can.
I've got way too much to do before then.
I've got to prepare and write up more slogans and And do everything but create a bumper sticker for the story pirates.
Listen. and baby with a mustache.
Things are different now and... Not for me.
I'm still the baby with a mustache who wants a cool bumper sticker for our land ship.
You're the one that's changed.
I gotta get out of this parking lot.
Every bumper with a sticker reminds me that my friend Rolo has forgotten all about me.
Fine, go on.
I guess you can't handle the heat coming off a star like me.
I'm so upset.
Can't believe she would say those things to me.
I got events to cool down.
Luckily, I have my dialogue to design right here.
Captain's log.
Day, unsure.
Location, still unknown.
Distant.
I am so frustrated with Baby with a mustache.
She thinks the whole bumper sticker world revolves around her.
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't even want to be friends with Baby with a mustache anymore.
And that's not all I have to say.
We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-up.
Captain's log.
Day?
Unsure.
Location?
Still in this weird parking lot.
Destination?
Infamy, thanks to the masked magazine, which should be calling me at any moment.
Just need to find a spot in the parking lot with the best reception.
Oh.
Hello there, baby with a mustache.
Oh.
Hello, Rolo.
What are you doing in this far-off corner of the parking lot?
I'm looking for a spot that has good reception for my big interview that's about to happen.
Of course, I should have known.
What are you doing in this far off corner of the parking lot?
I'm admiring all the neat bumper stickers.
Of course.
You don't want to hop on like you did with the last one?
That I break for wake slogan you came up with has been one of my best sellers.
I'd like to help you out for your big moment pal, but I think I might need an apology for that to happen.
An apology?
For what?
For disregarding the one bumper that started it all.
You want me to apologize for being successful?
No, Rollo.
I'm proud of you and happy for you and all of your big boat bumper success.
I just wish you could make time for the request that gave you the idea to create your empire.
It's the mast.
I need to take this.
And I need to move on.
See you around.
Hello?
Oh, wait, I mean, ahoy hoy, this is Rollo.
Wow, the honor is all mine.
I've been a fan of the mast for a long time.
How did I start making boat bumper stickers?
It's actually a funny story.
My friend, baby with a mustache, asked me to make a bumper sticker for a car.
But since I'm a sailor, everything I wrote was about boats.
But I accidentally published all those drafts to my Bean Emporium page and my boat bumper sticker.
Empire was created.
Oh, no, no.
I agree.
I owe a great deal of my success to baby with a mustache.
What do you mean, then, why did I publish rude boat bumper stickers about her?
I didn't do that.
Well, could you send me a photo of what you're talking about?
Okay, I'm looking at the file now.
This says, I am so frustrated with baby with a mustache.
And this one says I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't even want to be friends with baby with a mustache anymore.
Oh, no!
Let me open these.
This one says, who does baby with a mustache think she is anyway?
And this one, baby with a mustache, looks more like mustache with a baby.
That thing is huge.
And last but not least, baby with a mustache is acting like a goose.
Oh, no.
I can explain what happened.
I must have left the function on that connects my captain's log diary entries to print on the Bean Emporium website.
That's exactly how the bumper stickers got printed in the first place.
Of course it was an accident.
I don't really mean these things about Baby with the Mustache.
She's my friend.
We just went through a rough patch.
What do I actually think about her?
She's a good friend who helped me through my first big interview.
She had the patience to put up with me when I threw her simple request for a bumper sticker to the side.
And if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be fulfilling my dream of talking to the mast.
I'm sorry, baby with the mustache.
I let niche fame get into my bean.
Look, I'm sure you have more questions, but can we reschedule?
There's something I need to do right away.
Now to go find Baby with a mustache and apologize.
I'm right here, Rolo.
Baby with a mustache?
You stayed behind to support me during my big interview after all.
Uh, no.
I got lost and ended up in the same spot I just left.
There are a lot of Subarus in this parking lot.
A lot.
But I heard what you said to the mask.
I'm sorry we got into an argument over something so silly.
I should have just let you enjoy your success.
You did but me.
Suddenly getting so popular with actual pirates shouldn't mean that i abandoned creating something beautiful and meaningful for the story pirates.
I apologize, apology accepted still friends, Still friends.
Now, what are we going to do about this bumper sticker?
Should we try to write one together?
I'd like that.
Okay.
How about baby with a mustache on board?
That may be a little baby with a mustache focused.
Or what about don't ask where I'm going, ask where I've been.
Maybe that's a little too much about beans.
I pull over for full diapers?
No.
My other car is also a boat.
Getting closer.
But still not quite there.
While we brainstorm some more, should we do our last story?
Sounds good.
And here to introduce it is the author.
Hi, I'm Nigel.
I'm nine years old and I live in Washington, D.C.
And this is my story, The Case of the Missing Art.
The Case of the Missing Art Can't be late!
And... Made it.
2 p.m.
Right on time for my new job.
I'd hate to get fired my first day as a security guard.
Oh, here comes a tour group.
On the right, we have some art.
And on the left, we have a guard on his first day.
Friends, enjoy your day.
Guard, there you are.
Hey, boss.
Beautiful day, isn't it?
Listen up, Guard.
It's John, actually.
Great.
Guard, today you have one job.
Protect the most famous painting in the entire world.
Leonardo da Vinci's The Mona Lisa.
The mona lisa.
That's right and nothing bad better happen to the mona lisa, or you're fired.
Now, if you need me, i'll be at spin class for the next 24 hours goodbye.
Healthy boss, healthy life can't believe i have to protect.
It's the mona lisa.
I hope nothing bad happens.
Did someone say I hope nothing bad happens.
Is this part of the museum?
Excuse me, person dressed like a gentleman thief breaking into a museum by crashing through a window.
Who are you and what are you doing here?
I'm a gentleman thief breaking into this museum by crashing through a window.
I'm here to steal all your paintings, including the Mona Lisa.
You've got this card.
I mean john to a group, get out of here.
I'm here to take all of your best paintings this picasso, this kandinsky, painted on both sides, This painting of dogs playing poker.
Not the dogs!
That's it!
I can't get fired!
Thief!
I'm gonna run over there and stop you!
And nothing will stop me!
Here I come!
Huh?
I'm stopped?
In a pit of nacho cheese in the middle of the museum?
How did I not see this?
Thief, did you put this pit of nacho cheese here?
Nacho business.
Catch you later, Chip.
My name is Jack.
You sure look like a chip to me, Cheesehead.
Oh, one last thing.
I'll take that.
The Mona Lisa?
No!
You'll never catch me, Chip the Cheesehead.
I'm stuck in nacho cheese and no one's here to help me out!
Nothing to do but hope a new character enters the story to save me, or I'm fired!
Hello?
Hello?
I'm the local dog detective, Sheriff Rex.
I'm paying a visit to the museum because I heard 90% of your art was stolen.
No answer?
Better sniff for clues.
What's this?
A nacho cheese pit in the museum?
With a person in it?
Huh.
Your mouth is covered in nacho cheese.
Wow.
You just licked the cheese off my face.
It's fine.
I'm a dog.
Bark.
Now, who are you and what happened here?
I'm the new guard here at the museum.
My job was to make sure no one stole any art.
There was a gentleman thief and he stole 90% of all the art, including the Mona Lisa.
As the only dog sheriff in this part of town, I have to say I'm stumped on how to catch this guy.
But we have to.
My boss will fire me if he finds all the paintings are gone when he comes back from spin class.
Most spin classes take over 24 hours, so he could be back any minute.
This doesn't look good.
But I have a plan, and I need your help.
First... Uh-huh.
Yeah?
Oh.
Oh, that's genius.
It's the perfect plan.
So long as my boss doesn't come back all of a sudden.
I'm back all of a sudden.
What?
No paintings.
No Kandinsky's painted on both sides.
No the Mona Lisa's.
Dog Sheriff, thank goodness you're here.
You must fire this guard.
He is responsible for stealing the Mona Lisa.
I don't have hiring and firing privileges.
But if I did...
I'd fire you, museum boss!
Me?
For what?
For sealing THE Mona Lisa!
He did?
What do you mean?
I couldn't be the thief.
I was at spin class.
Everyone knows that gentlemen, thieves and museum bosses bike along the French Riviera, not in a friendly gym setting with other young professionals.
Aw, dret.
You found me out.
May as well take off my mask.
C'est moi.
I assumed the disguise of a museum boss so that I could steal thee, Mona Lisa.
And why, you may ask?
I only did it because I wanted attention.
And to make new friends.
That's no excuse.
But I get how hard it is to make new friends.
You do?
You understand?
Yes.
You see, when I moved to town, I was the loneliest dog sheriff ever.
But then I met some other dogs, and we became friends.
Now we meet every Friday to play poker together.
You should play with us sometime.
He'd love to, Sheriff Rex, but he's gonna be busy.
With what?
With escaping from your clutches.
What's happening?
Why is it so cold in here all of a sudden?
Guard!
You froze me with liquid nitrogen?
Why?
Because I'm also a thief!
Did you just take off a mask to reveal the same face?
I sure did.
Why?
Because the boss, I mean thief, and I decided to go deep undercover to steal the Mona Lisa.
What a twist!
And on the left, you'll see a nacho cheese pit.
Ooh.
Tour guide with a tour group?
What are you doing here?
I'm here because I'm also a thief.
The tour guide is also a thief in a mask.
And we are also thieves.
I'm so confused.
And I'm not just the jewelry store manager.
I'm also your brother.
Huh?
I'm sorry.
Who are you?
A gentleman thief posing undercover to rob my sister's jewelry store?
This is a museum.
The jewelry store is right next door.
Oh!
Sorry.
Whoops.
My bad.
Bye-bye.
This is confusing.
Sheriff Rex, we'd love to stay and chat, but we simply must get to spin class.
What?
The art thieves strike again!
Why wouldn't they use the door?
Well, another terrible and confusing day here at the museum.
Bark.
The end.
And now, Lee speaks with the author.
So, Nigel, you wrote The Case of the Missing Art.
Yes.
I love the twist in your story.
Yep.
Last part where the security guard turns out to be evil.
That's right.
I was so surprised when I saw that.
Was the guard in on this from the very beginning?
Yes.
Tell me about that.
So I was thinking...
Why don't I put a little twist in here?
Like make it look like he's completely innocent then he's completely evil at the end.
Have these guys been working together for a long time?
They seem like pros.
Yep.
One day they saw like A robbery on the news.
So they just think, hmm, that looks fun.
Let's do that for a living.
And that's what they did.
Go on and so on.
And was the guard already working at the museum at this point?
Yep.
Hold Floyd just to get them to trust.
So sneaky.
You know like sometimes a gang of thieves like this will give themselves like a cool name to sort of refer to themselves in the press or in newspapers, or you know, these two guys do they sort of have like a name thing.
Yep.
The devious duo.
The devious duo.
Incredible.
What about the part where the thief is confessing and is sort of tearing up over how hard it is to make new friends?
Was that like a genuine thing the thief was saying or was it part of the plan?
Half genuine, half part of the plan.
For him it actually is a little hard to make friends because when you're a robber you got to drop some people out of your life.
Because you don't want people telling others that you're a thief.
Do you think that the guard and the thief are friends, though?
Yeah.
You really got to like someone to be like just with them for like that long.
It makes me feel better that they at least have one person in their lives that they can be honest with.
Yep.
That was my idea.
You know, in a lot of stories, like the thieves are the bad guys.
In your story, I kind of get the feeling like I'm supposed to be rooting for the thieves.
Is that true or am I reading it incorrectly?
That is true.
So when I was like little, I would always root for the bad guys then be disappointed when they lost.
There is a word for a character like that.
Have you ever heard of the word antihero?
Yep.
Pretty much someone who is against heroes and likes villains.
Yeah.
And someone that we like end up rooting for in a story, even though they're doing bad things.
Wait, I have one more question.
Can you tell any listeners who might not know what liquid nitrogen is and how it works?
Liquid nitrogen is pretty much liquid ice, but it freezes way faster.
It's also much colder and harder.
Is it easy to get your hands on liquid nitrogen?
No, not at all.
The Devious Duo must have some kind of connection where they can get it.
Yep, the black market.
Can you describe what the black market is for anyone that doesn't know?
It's kind of like any market you go to, except they do not sell food.
Wow.
You know a lot about this stuff, Nigel.
Thank you.
Thanks for talking to me.
You're so welcome.
Thanks for talking to me and thanks for letting us perform your story.
Bye, Nigel.
Bye.
We'll be right back after a few words from the grownups.
Hey there!
We respond to every single one of them.
We sure do.
And some of them we talk about on this segment, Story Love.
Let's do that now.
Okay, Peter, why don't you read first?
All right, Lee, our first story comes to us from a five-year-old from Wisconsin named Eva.
And Eva's story is called The Unicorn That Puts Her Jammies On In The Night And In The Morning.
Once upon a time, there was a unicorn named Solanda.
Great name.
Solanda put her jammies on in the morning and in the night.
Solanda woke up and saw a spider in her house.
Uh-oh.
She got a bug and she fed it to the spider.
Aw.
Now, the spider was her pet.
She named the spider...
But she writes it out.
O-N-E.
Solanda was playing outside with her spider when she saw a truck floating.
Then she saw a cat.
Solanda knew cats like fish, so she caught one for her.
Now the cat was Spider's friend too.
And then it says, love story pirates.
And there's an amazing picture of, is that the cat?
Oh, that's the cat.
That's the cat.
It's got very big paws and no limbs attaching the paws to the rest of the cat.
Extremely sharp claws.
Yeah, but a nice little smile.
Nice smile.
Great cat.
Meow.
Amazing story.
Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here.
First of all, one is an amazing name for a spider.
That spider is not the one.
That spider is one.
I'm so glad that the spider is not, like, too scary in this story.
Not at all.
You know, in my house, we call spiders community helpers.
Ah, because they eat other bugs?
I guess.
It's just like a nice thing to call someone.
The other thing that there's two other things that I want to talk about.
First of all, Floating truck.
Yeah.
What's going on with the floating truck?
It has not been explained to us.
Zero explanation.
Floating truck.
It's what a tease.
She saw a floating truck, then she saw a cat.
And the cat is more interesting than the floating truck.
It tells me something about the world.
Right, that it doesn't seem exceptional that there is a floating truck.
It's just sort of stated in passing.
You know what?
I think there's something up with gravity in this world.
Because if you look at the picture of the cat, its paws are not attached to its body.
But they seem to be connected through some sort of force.
They just look like balloons.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I also love what I will refer to as the twist in this story, where I thought that the reveal was going to be that the cat would be friends with Solanda because Solanda fed the cat.
Yeah.
You know, when Solanda feeds the spider, the spider becomes friends with Solanda.
But when Solanda feeds the cat, the cat becomes friends, not with Solanda, but the spider.
Oh, that's interesting.
I just assumed that the cat was not only friends with Solanda, but also the spider.
But that's another way to read it, which is the cat is like I'm giving this spider full credit because that spider is the one.
Right.
I mean, you know, friend to my friend, I'm sure they're on speaking terms.
I'm sure they get along, right?
They can all hang out as a trio, but it's clear that the primary friendship here is the cat and the spider.
Eva, amazing story.
Lee, do you want to read this next story?
I would love to.
From Liam, an eight-year-old in Pennsylvania, here is Dirty Time!
Uh-oh!
With an exclamation point.
Dirty Time!
Once upon a time, there was a normal town, but one day, that all changed.
The mayor.
The town is now the dirt.
The toothpaste is dirt.
The shower water is dirt.
The soap is, well, dirt.
But a boy named Asher was done.
So he went to talk to the mayor.
Hey, mayor, I want our town to go back to normal.
Well, said the mayor.
Asher, yes.
No, said the mayor.
No, hasher asher, said his mom.
Whoa, i had the worst nightmare ever.
The mayor changed the whole city dirty.
Oh, that is impossible, said his mom, because he said it today.
No wow wow wow yeah, You know what?
I've noticed something.
A lot of incredible story, first of all, Liam.
A lot of kids in stories, they love to write about evil mayors.
Mayors with too much power, frankly.
Yeah.
And he's gone straight to.
I'm trying to think of what things would are worse if they were pure dirt toothpaste and soap.
Yeah.
If you had to use pure dirt.
Hmm.
Soap and shower water.
Yeah.
That's the worst.
I mean, I, we're living like birds.
Do you know birds?
They take dirt baths.
Is that right?
Yeah.
You ever seen them down in the little dry patch of dirt?
They go.
No.
That's how they clean their feathers.
You've seen that?
I have seen it.
With your own eyes?
With my own eyes.
I read about it.
I saw a video.
And then I was walking down the street one day.
No.
And I saw a bird taking a little dirt bath.
So just to be clear, the mom is saying here you, it couldn't have already happened that the mayor turned the town dirty because he only just said that today,
So he had a prescient dream.
Right.
He foresaw this dirty day.
Right.
He woke up and said, dirty time.
Do you think that's the first thing the mayor said at his press conference?
Good morning.
Dirty time.
Get ready.
It's dirty time.
It's clean and dirty day.
It's clean and dirty day.
It's clean and dirty day.
It's clean and dirty day.
Season one.
That's from a story called Pig and Unicorn from season one.
All right.
Amazing job, Liam.
Let's get to our final story.
Peter, would you do us the honors?
Yes.
Lee, this last story comes to us from Calliope.
And Alaska, nine years old from Tennessee.
Great names.
This story is called Mustard Ice Cream.
There's no question mark, though.
I added the question mark.
You just added that, yeah.
It's just mustard ice cream.
You probably read it as mustard ice cream.
Once there was a girl named Jewel, and her mornings always started the same way.
Ah, good morning, Gemma, my flying catacorn.
Let's see what's on the news, said Jewel.
That's just it, said the news person.
Mustard ice cream is still the biggest thing on the planet.
Hurry, Gemma, said Jewel.
We have to get mustard ice cream before it sells out like it always does.
Yep.
So she and Gemma, the flying catacorn, went to the mustard ice cream store.
When they got there, not only was it sold out, but they had raised the price to $100 cents.
It's $0.01 and $100 at the same time.
So technically $101.
Are there $0.01 and $1?
Yes.
I always forget if it's $0.60 or $0.01 and $1 or if it's 100 minutes or $0.60.
I mean, 100 seconds or 60 seconds in a minute.
Yeah.
We've really gotten off track here.
Anyway, $101.
Yes.
Jewel was very sad that her and Gemma, the catacorn, could never get mustard ice cream.
So when they got home, they decided to make a plan.
If they couldn't get mustard ice cream anywhere on their planet, they would go to every planet ever until they got some.
Solid, solid plan.
So they started their journey.
First they went to Gemma's home planet, called Snuffleupagus, where Gemma communicated with the other flying catacorns.
They only had pickle ice cream there.
They tried pickle ice cream, but they just knew that it wasn't as good as mustard ice cream.
Next, they went to planet doll mania.
You gotta really love dolls to know you're playing a doll mania.
Well, they were only dolls who told them that everyone on their planet hated ice cream.
Wow.
Finally, they went to planet Mustopolis and they had all the mustard ice cream that had sold out on their planet and they were selling it for 500 hundred dollar cents.
So they stole it.
500 cents plus $500.
So it's $505.
So they stole it and ate it all the next day.
They had a big tummy ache.
The end.
Wow.
Alaska, Calliope, incredible.
All right.
So I want to return back to the explanation of what $100 cents is.
It says it's 100 cents and $100 cents.
At the same time.
Do you think it's an object that could be either cents or dollars?
It's a tender that is either cents or dollars?
It's like Schrodinger's cap.
Right.
Okay, okay.
You know, it is both positive and negative.
It is dollars if you need it to be dollars.
It's cents if you need it to be cents.
That would really throw the economy into a dizzy.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I love the story because the message of it is like if you work hard enough, You can get anything that you are looking for.
However, that doesn't mean you will not also get a tummy ache.
Well, I respect mustard ice cream, but I would not eat it.
That's it for today's Story Love.
To read all of today's stories, just head to storypirates.com.
And guess what, grown-ups?
You can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube.
And while you're there, why not subscribe to our channel and make sure to watch the new videos each week?
And grown-ups, Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show.
It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program.
To find out more about Story Love or our digital creative writing program, Story Quest, or our nonprofit arm Story Pirates Changemakers.
Check the show notes for links.
That's it for today's episode.
Thanks to today's authors, Zach and Nigel.
And guess what?
You can still send us your stories and we respond to every single story we receive.
Grownups, your link to submit stories is in the show notes for today's episode.
We'll be back next week with another brand new episode.
Until then, stay creative and stay kind.
The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka.
Co-executive producers are Holly and Rizwan Kassim, Manya Lissy, Murray Sampson, Jack Schaefer and Jacob Bond.
This episode was produced by Isabella Riccio, Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Lee Overtree, Brittany Stahl and Steve White.
Recording, sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City.
Additional production by Brett Toobin.
Theme song by Lobby Lord.
Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell.
Our head writer is Peter McNerney.
Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson.
And contributing writing by Lee Overtree.
Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
This episode features performances by Langston Darby, Nick Canales, Justin Kuhn, Caroline Lux, Anna Marr, Peter McNerney, Kyle Moore, Alexandra Nader, Peter Russo, Austin Sanders and Julia Schroeder.
Wow.
Rolo, are you hearing this?
They are loving our bumper sticker.
I hope so.
It took hours to come up with it.
Yeah, but we finally found the perfect slogan.
Keep honking.
I'm listening to the Story Pirates 2020 Meteoric Sensation.
Catch?
Let's sit on you.
My personal favorite album.
Mine too.
Hey, if you know, you know.
Is it possible it's too good?
People won't stop honking.
Or maybe it's possible you're going too slow.
What?
Frollo, you're going 35 in a 70.
Oh, whoops.
My bad.
Storyteller Con, here we come!
Hit it, Frollo!
