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Hi friends, it's Rosie here.
Welcome to Radio Headspace.
A few months ago, I found myself crying in the dairy aisle at Trader Joe's.
I wish I was kidding.
I was standing there staring at the oat milk when a wave of emotion just hit me.
Not about the oat milk.
It was something deeper.
It was one of those days where everything had piled on.
Work stress, family stuff, hormones doing their thing.
And I hadn't given myself a second to feel any of it.
As I stood there holding a carton of unsweetened oat milk and blinking back tears while pretending to compare yogurt brands, it hit me.
I am not okay.
And I haven't been for a while.
That's when I realized I was emotionally constipated.
Like, full-blown, spiritually bloated, feelings on lockdown, and I didn't even know it.
See, growing up, I learned very early on that showing emotion wasn't safe or welcomed.
If I cried, it was, you're too sensitive.
If I got mad, it was, don't be so dramatic.
If I was scared, it was, you're fine.
Get over it.
In my Hispanic household, we didn't talk about feelings.
We worked, we endured, we kept it moving.
Our emotional vocabulary was mostly side eyes, sarcastic jokes, and passive aggressive cleaning.
And so, like a lot of people, I learned to file away my emotions, like overdue mail hidden stacked, unopened.
But here's the thing, emotions, They don't just disappear.
They just get louder.
They don't just vanish because you ignore them.
They wait.
Then they come back with compounded interest.
Louder, messier, and often at the worst possible moment, demanding to be felt all at once.
It wasn't until I began my mindfulness journey that I learned something simple but profound.
Emotions are energy in motion.
They're not flaws.
They're not weaknesses.
They're data.
Anger says a boundary has been crossed.
Grief says you loved deeply.
Fear says pay attention.
Joy says more of this, please.
I didn't know how to read any of those signals back then.
I just felt tight, numb, easily triggered.
Like I was doing everything right eating well meditating, working hard but still waking up with anxiety stuck in my throat and grief hiding in my shoulders.
And then, like all good revelations, it hit me in a very ordinary moment.
I was sitting in a parking lot.
Yes, again, clearly my spiritual awakening spot.
After a difficult therapy session, we had touched on a memory I hadn't looked at in years.
And I felt this overwhelming tightness on my chest.
Instead of numbing it with a podcast or calling someone to talk about anything but what I was feeling, I did something wild.
I sat.
I closed my eyes.
I put my hand on my chest.
And I said out loud, this is sadness.
Then I asked, what do you need right now?
And you know what came through?
I just want to be felt.
That's it.
In that moment something loosened.
Not everything, not all at once, but just enough to make some space.
This was the beginning of honoring my emotions.
Not managing them, not denying them, not making them someone else's problem, but honoring them.
And here's something I wish most of us were taught.
Emotional fluency is a skill.
It's not something you're born with.
It's something you practice.
In psychology, we know that suppressing emotions over time leads to greater stress on your body.
Studies have shown that emotional repression is linked to anxiety, depression, even chronic illness.
On the flip side.
People who can identify and name their emotions not just I feel bad, but I feel embarrassed or I feel disappointed tend to regulate their stress more effectively and have better relationships.
So when I say emotional constipation, I'm not just being cheeky.
It's real.
It builds up, and eventually, it demands release.
If you're feeling like you could relate to this, or if you're feeling unexpressed, I'd like you to try something with me.
Pause.
Don't distract.
Don't explain.
Just pause.
Name the emotion.
This is sadness.
This is fear.
This is shame.
Ask what it needs and then listen without judgment.
Sometimes it's, I need to cry.
Sometimes it's just, thank you for noticing me.
And if you're someone who comes from a culture or family where feelings weren't safe, I see you.
It takes real courage to break that cycle, to learn a new emotional language.
To trust that your feelings are not only allowed, they're important.
For more support, check out the Honoring Our Efforts meditation in the app.
That's it for today, friends.
If you've been working on honoring your emotions, especially the messy ones, I'd love to hear it.
Message me on Instagram at Rosie Acosta and tell me what you're learning.
I'll see you back here soon.
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