Hi guys, welcome back.
It's Sid.
Obviously I'm kind of nervous for this video.
I'm just not the best at like being open about my personal life online.
I feel like as I've gotten older, I've really protected that for myself because it is like important to me.
Let's just see what happens.
I don't even know.
Get ready for some tea.
Perhaps we'll see what I say.
This should be alcohol.
You, You guys, are my besties too, so I feel like I need to update you guys on some things.
So I went on my Instagram story, which is where I usually go for things like this.
If you want to be in the next video, I'll put my username here.
It's just at Cindy Serena.
And I asked you guys to basically just like ask me anything, any questions.
This is so funny.
Wait, I didn't even see this till like this second.
Wait, this is so hilarious.
I have to answer this.
Why was Bryce Hall at your 21st birthday?
Um wait, I had to remember.
I was like wait, why was he there?
Basically, my friend was the guy who managed the sway boys at that time, and he lived at that house, and I was telling him I wanted to have a birthday for my 21st, and he was like you can just use our house, which was really really nice of him.
Everyone was really nice to like let me use that house, and Bryce obviously lived there at that time, so that's why he was there.
My 21st birthday though, was so much fun it was Really crazy.
What's your biggest insecurity?
I have insecurities about my body and it really just depends on the day.
Like some days I feel amazing and then other days I feel not amazing.
So it really does fluctuate.
I try not to spiral though, and like let those thoughts take over my mind, because I definitely tend to overthink things.
Do you like to go out drinking, partying, et cetera?
I think I go through phases with this.
Right now, I'm definitely in my not going out phase.
Every time I'm at a bar or at a club, I just wish that I was in my bed.
It's truly, unfortunately, how I feel about it.
It's just so much work.
And then the whole rest of my next day is just kind of ruined.
I would say about half of the questions at least are about this, about my boyfriend slash if I still have a boyfriend.
So yes, I did have a boyfriend.
I didn't really post about it actually at all.
For those of you guys who have watched me for a while, I just have always kept like my dating life very separate from social media.
But to answer your question, no, I do not have a boyfriend anymore.
I've been single for about two months now and i really don't know in the future, like when i date someone again, what i'm gonna do, because i, just like i said, i've never been one to share that and like i didn't even share basically anything in my last relationship because i've just always had really pretty strong feelings about that.
I also get the question a lot would you ever start a family channel?
My answer has been immediately no.
I've just seen it destroy people's relationships with their partner and i know i'm someone who i would not want to work with my partner, no matter how much i love them.
I need to have that separation in the day and in my life to have my own things going on.
And second to that, i also wouldn't want to exploit my kids.
I would maybe vlog like being a mom and like growing up.
My daily routine with having kids and what it's like without showing them.
I like don't really know how I would actually do that to be honest.
I haven't thought that far.
It's something I'm like extremely hesitant about, and I'm just really not at that point yet, or anywhere near that point.
What happened with you and the Omegle guy, Bosno?
Okay, if you guys saw my video, I went on Omegle or OmayTV, whatever.
It's the same thing and i met this guy on there and he's also a youtuber and yeah, nothing happened after that.
But i just wanted to say that it was really funny and he was also filming at the same time that i was filming, which i thought was really funny and i had a inclination that he was.
I found his channel after because everyone was like tagging me in his stuff that he posted and yeah that's, that's about it.
Nothing else has transpired but biggest heartbreak.
I think all heartbreaks suck, I don't know.
I just don't think it's ever easy unless, like you, just didn't have feelings for the person.
Which then?
Why would you be in a relationship if you didn't have feelings for the person?
It's just something that heals with time.
I know people always say that, but truly time and no contact is like the only way to move on.
Do you miss college?
I go through phases where I really do miss college.
What I miss about it though, is mostly the routine that college would bring me, and mostly just my friends.
Like a lot of my best friends are still in California.
When I moved to New York last year, I went in knowing literally nobody, like zero people.
New, moving here, starting over, is very difficult.
I almost think of it as like freshman year of college and obviously like it just takes time to meet people and like make new friends.
But yeah, I definitely miss like my best friends and I miss just like living close to everyone And just being able to like walk over to someone's house.
Have you gotten any work done?
Fillers or Botox, et cetera.
I had lip filler.
I think I got it done like three years ago now, and I never got it dissolved either.
I don't know if it's just my lip structure or what, but it really doesn't feel like it dissolved for me.
It still is very much there, know.
I'm like very content with them and i just never went in for more because i just wanted something really subtle.
My lips weren't like super small before i got them done either.
I have also gotten botox in my masseters right here, because i have extremely strong masseters.
I don't chew gum as often, or if i do, i chew it for like a minute and then i spit it out.
The gum is what like really i think strengthened them as well.
Are you arfid free?
So if you guys remember, a couple years ago i went through an eating disorder and i actually talked about it online.
I could not be any better.
It's so crazy to think back to that time in my life, how dark of a place i was in because how much i was struggling, And then now flash forward two years later where I am now.
I'm so grateful to be where I am now.
That was a very difficult time for me and really proud of myself for like going through treatment and like getting that inner work done on myself.
I can see now where I have those tendencies pop up, like when I'm really stressed.
Those tendencies, I would say, spike more, and I can like recognize it though within myself, to know and to try to combat it ahead of time.
Yeah, I'm doing really good though, and I just hope that if anyone watching this is going through this to like use this as motivation, because I remember being in like a horribly dark mental space because of how like consuming it is to be going through an eating disorder or eating problem.
There is hope.
There's light at the end of the tunnel.
Trust me, you guys, if I made it out, you guys can too.
Are you religious?
Yes, I am.
I'm Christian.
I was raised Christian.
I've been Christian my whole life.
And it's something that I actually do wanna talk about more on here with you guys.
It's definitely a big part of my life and a big part of how I see the world and a big part of my morals.
Do you experience period symptoms and how do you manage them?
I would be really, really exhausted whenever I started my period.
It was to the point where, whenever I was on my period and I was so exhausted, I just had to stay home.
Like I truly couldn't do anything.
I couldn't really function.
I had it for so long and I went to the doctors and they recommended that I try birth control to help that.
So I got the IUD like a little less than a year ago.
I got the Kylena, which has is hormonal and it has helped me a lot with my fatigue.
I actually forget how tired I used to get and then when I remember I'm like very grateful that I don't experience that anymore.
And I was really scared to get the IUD, because you hear horror stories of it and also the fact that you're not numbed or anything is like crazy to me.
Why is that not protocol to be numbed.
I don't know, but I luckily was able to fight to get numbed, because I don't think I could have gone through it mentally without getting numbed.
I'm very thankful that my doctor let me be numbed, and it was actually quite an easy insertion process.
I couldn't really feel much because I was numbed, I'm pretty sure.
The first six months after were very painful.
I'm pretty sure i was experiencing contraction, like cramps, for six months, not straight but like on and off.
But the doctors told me that that was like normal and that if i could ride it out, to ride it out, because it's supposed to get better after six months.
And they were right, because it did get a lot better.
Even after like three months it started to get better.
And now i'm like I don't want to say I'm completely fine, but like I don't get any symptoms really
My fatigue is gone and I don't get those awful cramps.
For me, the Kyleena has been like a really good experience, but I know everyone's body's different.
Also, I finished my makeup, so I don't know what to do now.
I'm just gonna like sit here with you guys.
Why do you keep your relationships private?
I feel like I kind of answered this earlier, but really just to protect myself and the relationship.
I want my social media to be about me and not about who i'm with, because once you bring in someone else like who you're dating, then it just people can criticize your relationship.
I think it can bring a lot more harm than good is what i'm trying to say.
I don't know what i'll do in the future.
I guess we'll see.
I'm probably always going to be pretty private with it, but not sure if you've avoided this.
But would you ever consider doing a free meet and greet in new york?
I guess I've never really thought about that, but I definitely would.
I really love meeting you guys.
I just feel like I know you guys every time I meet one of you.
What's the main reason you're moving apartments?
A lot of it's the location I'm in right now.
It's very loud where I live.
I also would love to not be in a studio because mentally being in a studio, it's just... not natural for your brain because you wake up and you're in the same room as your kitchen it's all one so to separate things like going to sleep at night and bedtime and relaxing to separate that from working time like when i work over there and then eating and like to like separate your life and compartmentalize things is just weird how do you deal with a toxic friendship um don't just don't deal with it i don't know i just like don't have the patience for it or the time like if someone's really that toxic find other friends what's something you would tell your younger self when you started youtube i was gonna say i would tell her like it's gonna like change your life and it's gonna be this is gonna go for a lot longer than you think and it's gonna be a lot harder than you think in certain ways but i also think that the naivety was good because if i would have known the truth about people are mean i might have like not done it so maybe nothing maybe i would have told her nothing and just let her figure it out what's your favorite type of video to film videos like this where i just talk with you guys and my vlogs i would say when we just feel like we're just friends hanging out this is basically like how i talk to my friends on facetime how to get a boyfriend please i I think the best relationships come like when you're not expecting it and you're not forcing it or like trying to get in a relationship.
When you're just content with yourself and then someone great comes along and you like them enough to want to date them.
What's your favorite memory of your childhood?
I look back at my childhood and it kind of makes me emotional for some reason.
I feel very grateful because I think I had such a great childhood.
Like my whole childhood was so amazing and I know a lot of people don't have that.
My parents were so loving to me.
My little brother, my older brother, my family are like the people that I care about the most in this whole world.
Everything.
I think just growing up in that same house with my family and like playing games with them, having game nights, even though it's not specific.
Have you seen a lot of rats in New York?
Actually no, I honestly thought I was being lied to like the first six months I lived here because I was like how have I not seen one rat?
Like I, truly I just want to see one.
Like I want to be proven wrong.
Like where are these rats that people talk about?
And then I saw one and I'm good now, like I don't need to see anymore.
I believe them ever wanted to start your own brand.
Surprise, i am starting my own brand.
Like i don't know how to like break the ice and say that i cannot even express how excited i am for this, because i've been working on this brand for a year now and it's been such a long time coming.
I've never put this much energy or effort into any project before and it's because i like love it so much and i believe in it so much.
It's been just so fun for me.
I just cannot wait for you guys to see it and i wish i could tell you guys what it is.
I mean i could.
I'll probably be telling you guys on instagram honestly in like this week, so if you follow me, you'll see, like the announcement on there, what it is.
In the meantime, you should comment your guess of what brand it is, because i'd be really curious what you guys think, just for fun.
You know i'm sorry guys, like i have to like tease a little bit.
Where do i find a normal man to date?
They're all so weird.
I'm wondering the same thing myself.
Do you ever think about taking a different career path?
I've got a lot of questions about this, like what I would do if I didn't do social media.
And I've thought about this so much the past like honestly, all of my twenties.
I've thought about this even my late teens, because I never wanted to stay in something or just continue social media, because I felt like I had to.
I've always wanted to give myself the option to stop.
Like if there was ever one day that I just didn't want to do it anymore.
I wanted to be able to allow myself to do that.
And for a while, I did think that I wanted to stop.
I really considered a few things.
I thought about law school for a bit.
I explored that.
Like I talked to a ton of lawyers.
I thought about law school.
And then I realized it just wasn't for me.
I also thought about pharmaceutical sales.
Maybe one day I would do that.
I'm not really sure.
But I've thought about few different career paths of things that interest me, and I basically have decided that right now I really do like what I'm doing, but I also want to start my own brand.
That was something that was a huge goal of mine for a long time.
So now that I'm starting my own brand and I'm still continuing social media, I'm like very content right now and I'm very happy and like lucky that I get to do this.
Are you still friends with your Minnesota hometown friend, Rachel?
Of course, Of course I'm still friends with her.
She has been one of my best friends for like a decade.
She's the best and I love her and we're gonna be friends for life, whether she likes it or not.
How to deal with academic downfall as a medical student.
Wow, I do not feel qualified to answer this.
I'm actually quite honored that someone asked me this question.
I have so much respect for medical students, for law school students.
First of all, I commend you for being in medical school.
Like that's such an accomplishment in itself.
All you can do is try your best, which is so cliche, but it's true.
It's important to separate your sense of worth personally from your academic results, because once you start basing your self-worth on your grades, I think that's where it gets really problematic and messy.
Have you ever thought of starting a podcast?
I kind of feel like I'm too boring.
I just don't know if I'm like that interesting.
What's your favorite song?
Anything Sabrina Carpenter right now is my favorite song.
How long will you be in New York?
I don't know, but I do know that I will not be here forever and I will not be here when I have kids.
I know that this is a very short-term place for me.
Current favorite lip product?
Probably this.
I love a good lip oil.
Clarins Comfort Lip Oil in the shade Raspberry.
You can see I've used so much of it.
In your opinion, what's the greatest red flag ever?
I just think it's a big red flag when I meet someone.
They're always talking badly about their closest friends.
It just makes me think that that person is going to also talk badly about me if I ever became close friends with them.
Your closest friends are the people that you should be speaking the highest of.
So I just don't really trust those people.
And it really says a lot and it's very telling.
I've noticed
Why did you decide to move to New York?
I don't know if I've ever really talked about why.
I just wanted a fresh start after graduating college.
I am someone that I love to travel and I love to learn about new places and just experience new places.
I wanted to try New York.
It was like so different from anywhere I've ever lived.
And I knew that it would make me stronger as a person to really just push myself and like live in a city where I knew no one.
And I also was really fascinated by New York and I do really love New York.
And I'm also lucky I was able to move here because I have a very flexible job.
Well, you guys, I think that's gonna be everything I answer for today.
This was really fun and it was definitely overdue for us to have a little catch up.
I love you guys so much and I'm so excited to share my new brand coming up.
So follow me on Instagram if you want to be the first to know.
I love you guys.
Thanks for watching and I'll see you next week.
Bye guys.
