Don't do anything weird, like bring out a ring or like get down on one knee.
Like I'm not in the mood today.
All right.
Just so we're clear.
All right, I hear you.
Can we agree there's a bit of a curse on this?
What do you mean, like a bad curse?
In the sense of like, you know, we've had a couple of lovely interactions.
Yeah.
It wasn't like a very enthusiastic, yeah, it was like an undermining, yeah.
Come on, we can own that it's been vibey.
Yeah, it's been vibey, to the point where you've been avoiding me for two years because the vibes were too much for you to handle.
Powerful vibes.
So I'm actually surprised you're here.
I'm also surprised I'm here as well.
Do you believe in fate?
I do believe in fate and destiny.
Do you know the difference?
I believe in fate.
You do?
Go on.
Yeah.
Give me an example.
When was it that we met?
Originally?
Are you a good dancer?
Well, I've seen you dance.
Well, of course.
There was a party that I saw you dance at.
Yeah, what did you think?
I was like, she's dancing.
It was epic.
It was epic.
Honestly, your moves were epic.
And everyone was like, thrown off.
Yeah, in a good way.
Yeah, no, like inspired, but also intimidated.
No, I do remember.
I just wanted you to relive it for me in this moment.
I feel manipulated.
I don't like games.
Good!
I don't like games, Amelia.
Well, it's just fun.
Is it fun?
For the person that's like pulling the strings.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't like... You don't like it?
Cut.
I'm cutting them.
I'm not going to be who you want me to be in this moment.
I'm not asking you to be anything but what you are.
I'm just holding a mirror up.
Yeah, and I look good.
Do you think it's possible?
Do you really think it's possible that there's someone that could be sat in this seat?
That might be like wait a minute, I just realised.
This is it.
Yeah.
Do you not?
I love that you're hopeful about it.
I think.
I just I just think it's.
You know the setup is, But isn't it just like meeting someone at work?
Yeah, ish.
But like, what are the workplaces?
Except I've made it into a date.
What are the workplaces?
Your work.
Your workplace.
Yeah, exactly.
How many of those relationships work out?
I don't know.
You tell me.
None?
I mean, it's not, it's like flash in the pan stuff usually.
Are your spidey senses tingling right now?
Don't do that.
You get one of those.
I hope you enjoyed it.
I've got one more.
I hope you enjoyed it because that's that.
It's over.
Snog Mary Boyd.
Go on then.
Tom Holland.
Tobey Maguire.
Amelia de Molenberg.
Oh, this is unfair.
This is really unfair.
You turned the screws on me.
Okay.
Oh, no, because, God, that's hard, actually.
I don't want to avoid any of you, really.
Okay, but you have to.
Well, I have to avoid you, then.
What?
Because I can't do that to either of those guys.
I can do it to you.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding you.
I'm going to do it to you.
This is called flirting, Amelia.
This is called flirting.
We've had two meet-cutes.
Can you?
I'm going to be myself, and I need you to know me fully.
It's just going to mess up with the sound.
That's true, and I want to be considerate.
Exactly.
This is actually a first date.
Okay.
First date.
Okay, I feel like I just arrived.
Did you kiss on the first date?
I've asked people out a lot and have got a no.
Like in this way or in like a real way?
In, well, this is real, but in, on the outside.
So you're bold, you're bold, courageous, like you go for it.
Exactly.
I really appreciate that so much.
I think it's so, I think it's sexy.
I think it's really hot.
That's what I think.
But then it also.
But then I was saying I was rationalizing my not sadness but my like frustration with like rejection.
But then I was like, I just put myself out there more than other people.
So then I get rejected more.
So then I always feel rejected.
I don't want to give you a high five on feeling rejected.
That was a weird timing.
It was more just a high five.
I'm rejected.
More than ever.
Thank you.
No, it's about, like, accepting that that's part of courage.
I just realised that's what it was.
It's amazing.
It is amazing.
How do you do it?
Like, what's your usual, like, line?
Like, what do you do?
You just try and get with them.
What?
That is what I've done before.
Just, like, physically.
Just sort of, like... Exactly.
Yeah.
Like that.
Is that the move?
Now I'm looking at you doing that, I'm realising maybe this is where I'm going wrong.
Have you ever been on a date with someone to watch your own movie?
Most of my first dates are... What?
Seriously?
No, of course not.
Okay.
You like the ginger beer?
Yeah.
I hate ginger beer.
It's so funny because it's like I go to a place and then you're like, no, we're not going there.
I knew you would do this.
What?
Do what?
I knew you would do this.
Just be aware of all of your moves?
Yes, yes.
I knew you would do this.
Do you hate it?
No, I don't.
I think it's fun.
But I know... No, it doesn't.
People must have done this with you.
You do it when I've seen you before.
Yeah, because I like... I'm really a fan of what you do.
I like it, actually.
I'm into it.
Why, you do?
Yeah, because it's funny.
Like, it's funny someone... Seeing you?
Seeing what I'm doing.
And naming it.
And naming it.
And calling you on it.
Yeah.
And you go slightly red.
What?
How was your 30th?
How was it being 30th?
I love being 30.
Do you?
Did you like being 30?
I did, yeah.
You can remember how it was.
Bitch, I love my 30s.
I really love my 30s, yeah.
If we were to start a relationship.
I'm not saying that you would want to or that I would necessarily want to.
Okay.
But yeah, go on.
You are funny.
You're a funny person.
You're funny too.
You're funnier.
I enjoy that.
I enjoy that very much.
The quality that I really appreciate in you.
And in a date.
And in like a... I think that we... There's something going on.
Do you actually think that?
Or is this for the?
I do think it's interesting that we, If this wasn't here, do you think we'd actually have it go on a date?
Do you think this has fucked up the fact that we could have actually gone on a date at some point?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Well, I don't know.
Okay, but take out all the practicalities and the logic.
I actually believe maybe we could have without all of this.
Yeah.
But it's this.
Because you're afraid of it.
I'm a very private person in my private life.
What's going on?
Are you really?
Are you?
I'm more private than you.
Go on then.
Actually.
Tell me.
Go on.
Have you ever seen me with anyone?
No.
That doesn't mean that you're private.
It does.
It just means you're not with anyone.
Do you want to be married?
Do you want to have children?
What are your ultimate longings?
Is that a question?
Those are sweet.
Would you rather not?
Are you going to cut all this out anyway because it's about you?
Yeah, probably.
But this is some bullshit.
Come on.
Let this interview be what it is.
This is a different vibe, a different style.
This is not an interview.
It's a date.
This is a different style of date.
There's more mutuality.
I don't mind about being married and I don't really mind about having kids.
You don't mind?
No.
But you do want like a long-term partnership, like a monogamous long-term partnership.
I do, yeah.
But I also like my independence and I also like the fact that I can like do whatever I want and go around.
Separate bedrooms.
No, but yes.
Maybe at some point.
Maybe, yeah.
As an option.
I actually think it's kind of crazy that you You feel obligated to share a bed for the rest of your lives.
So you've been nominated for an Oscar.
Yeah.
You've not won.
Yeah.
So when are you going to win an Oscar?
How long do you think it's going to be?
To be honest, can I be honest with you?
Can I be real with you?
Always.
That whole thing has meant something to me in the past and I think I needed that.
And then when I didn't win a couple of times I was like, I guess maybe No, I don't know.
It's not, you know, it doesn't really... Probably when you stop caring, that's when it will happen.
Probably, yeah.
Apparently that's what happens with love as well.
I think that's right.
I think that's absolutely right.
Which is why I was very relaxed today.
Because I've given up.
I actually have.
I've actually given up.
So.
I don't think you can give up with intention.
I don't think you can give up to try and like end game.
That might be the trick.
Giving up because then something will happen.
But it's very unexpected.
Out of nowhere.
Would you be more attracted to me if I had an Academy Award?
Maybe, yeah.
Thank you for your honesty.
No, I get it.
I get it.
Just like my father.
Yeah, because then it'll, like, come around your house and it's just there.
It's just there, casually, like a doorstop for a bathroom.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, it would be kind of hot, to be fair.
Academy Award winner.
Fuck.
My longing is back for it.
Yeah, but then I'm, like, trying to please you and that's fucked up.
Why?
That's not the kind of relationship I want.
I actually don't care if you're an Oscar winner or not.
But I would be hotter.
No, you're already, like, kind of hot.
What's your favourite time?
What's my favourite time?
Yeah, what's your favourite time on the clock?
I thought you meant style of time.
Ooh, OK.
Kairos or Kronos.
I think we'd have a really nice time without the camera.
I think we'd just enjoy each other's company.
Maybe not.
Fuck it.
I think we should be friends.
OK.
Great.
So?
Done.
Great.
We could hang out.
Okay.
Did I just friend zone this situation?
Yeah, I guess.
Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
Unless that's what you want.
No, I don't know what I want.
Okay.
You haven't got to know what you want.
You have my number.
Do I?
Yes.
I do.
You asked for my number at a party.
I did.
I feel like this is just like, should be a practice round.
I feel like we should do it again, actually, and better.
Okay.
This should just be like a rehearsal.
I know we've like paid for everything.
I've paid for everything.
Yeah, when I say we, I mean you.
Yeah.
This felt less awkward than usual for you.
Yeah, because you kept asking me loads of questions and making me be, like, serious.
I'm sorry.
Did I make you less funny?
I don't know.
We'll find out.
Sorry.
Okay, thank you.
This has been... We need to stop now.
But how?
