English learners often ask questions and request things in a way that's not very polite for Americans.
In the US, we ask for things politely by using indirect questions.
In this episode I'm going to show you how to ask for things in a nice way and without sounding rude.
If you want my help to understand native speakers when they speak, fast click on the link in the description below this episode to sign up for my training.
Okay, let me show you what types of requests and questions sound too direct or even a little rude to Americans.
When you say something like please send it to me, native speakers might think that you're being too direct or bossy, even though you said the word please.
That's because native speakers, at least in the US, prefer questions rather than commands.
You see, when you say, please send it to me, you're not asking the person to send it.
You're telling them to send it.
You're not asking a question, and americans prefer asking people to do things, not telling them to do things.
You might think that the word please makes the request sound polite, but if it sounds like you're commanding someone to do something, the word please isn't enough to make it sound nice.
So what should you say instead?
Well, try this.
Can you send it to me please?
If you say this, you're asking for the person to send it.
You're not telling them or commanding them to send it.
This makes a huge difference.
If you say, can you send it to me please?
It sounds nice and polite.
Let's try another one.
Instead of saying, please repeat that, try saying, can you repeat that please?
Or you could use the word could instead of can to sound even more polite.
You could say, could you repeat that please?
Or could you send it to me please?
So, as you can see, asking for things with the words can and could could make your requests sound much more polite in American English.
Let me show you a couple other types of questions that can sound more polite if you ask them indirectly.
Let's imagine that you're at a restaurant and you want to ask the waiter where the restroom is.
It's fine if you say, excuse me, where's the restroom?
But if you want to be even more polite, you could say excuse me, could you tell me where the restroom is?
This might sound really indirect to you and it's not 100 necessary to ask like this, but it actually sounds nice and very polite in American English.
Here's another one.
Instead of asking, what time is it?
You could say, could you tell me what time it is?
Or, do you happen to know what time it is?
Using the phrase, do you happen to, is a very polite way of asking questions in English.
And one last thing.
Notice that when we ask indirect questions, we change the word order.
For example, we don't say, could you tell me what time is it?
We say, could you tell me what time it is?
Alright, so now you know how to ask for things politely in American English.
Just remember that indirect questions make all the difference.