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Welcome to the A to Z English Podcast. My name is Jack,
and I'm here with my co-host, Social.
And today we are going to do an MI the jerk episode.
And here's the situation.
Social, you and a group of your friends
have a tradition of going out for dinner every Friday night.
Everyone in your group has generally similar financial situations.
And you typically all choose moderately priced restaurants.
One Friday you suggest a new upscale restaurant
that just open in town.
The menu is significantly more expensive than your usual spots.
Two of your friends express concerns about the costs,
saying they can't afford to spend that much on dinner.
You respond by saying, come on, it's just one night.
You can skip it if you can't afford it.
This statement causes tension, and the group ends up splitting
with some going to the upscale restaurant
and others opting out entirely.
Question, are you the jerk for suggesting
the expensive restaurant and making the comment
about affordability?
No, I don't think so.
I think if I couldn't afford something
and my friends were going to do it,
I would be like, you know, to have fun.
Tell me what it, tell me if it's good,
I'll save up and maybe next time we can all go together.
Because, you know, sometimes people are at different points.
And yeah, you have, you may make the same income,
but you might have different responsibilities
or people might be starting different projects
or have different things they need to take care of,
like student loans, rent, you know,
you can make the same amount of money
and have vastly different expenses.
And also prioritize what you spend your money on very differently.
So someone might say, you know,
I don't like spending a lot of money on dinner.
I'd rather spend it on a hobby.
Or, you know, I'm saving up for a trip coming up in a couple of months
or something, you know.
So, I wouldn't be upset, you know,
you can skip it if you can't afford it.
I wouldn't take that as a comment, you know,
calling me a broker trying to like,
or my feelings, I would just think, yeah, you know,
I can't afford it or maybe it's not my priority
to spend my money there.
I might respond to them.
I might be like, well, I can afford it,
but I'd rather spend my money elsewhere.
But, you know, you guys have fun and enjoy it
and tell me if it's any good.
And then maybe we can go together next time.
So, yeah, I don't think this person is a jerk.
Maybe they could have avoided that comment
just because it could hurt a few people.
It could potentially hurt someone's feelings,
especially if they're already sensitive about
maybe they have other expenses
and they're stressed because they don't get to go.
But I don't think it was ill-willed.
And so, I wouldn't hold it against them.
So, I don't think they're the jerk.
How about you, Jack?
Yeah, I'm thinking the most like jerky point of the,
of their part of the situation is when he says,
come on, it's just one night, you know.
It's like, what does that have to do with anything?
Like, it's still money.
Like, so, you know, it could be one night
five nights, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
It's still a lot of money for some people.
And, but the second part of his comment
where he says, you can skip it if you can't afford it,
I think that's okay, you know.
Like, I don't think like everyone has to be,
it's really, like, it's an odd situation when you get older,
when you go from your 20s to your 30s.
You know, sometimes some of your friends are like,
graduating from medical school or becoming lawyers
or something and they're moving into this like higher income bracket.
And all of a sudden, the things that they like to do
are not exactly the same as the things you like to do.
Like a barbecue in the backyard, they like that.
But they also might like going to the fancy new restaurant in town
that cost, you know, $2 or $300 for a dinner.
And you're just like, $2 or $300 for a dinner.
That pays for my child's braces, you know, or something like that.
You know, you're like, I'm not gonna throw $300 away
for, you know, Col Robby or something, you know,
like, I'm not gonna do that.
But I think your answer is the best answer is that
gracefully decline.
Don't make, don't stop your feet and go like,
it's not fair, you know, like, you know what?
Life's not fair, you know what I mean?
They have a right to go to the fancy restaurant if they want to.
And you have a whole, you have a total right not to go.
And but if you make a big point out of like,
you know, everybody should only go to places that all of us can afford.
I don't think that's a fair request.
I think you can just say like opt out, say, hey, tonight you guys,
I'm just gonna hang at home.
But I hope you have a good time.
And I'll catch up with you next week when we go to,
you know, Burger King and watch a movie, you know, or whatever.
What's wrong with that?
I don't know why you have to be, you know,
hurt feelings over over over over that, you know.
I think potentially if it started migrating to the point where the group was
spending more on outings and you couldn't really afford to see your friends at all anymore.
And that would be a good time to bring it up and say,
hey guys, you know, I'm kind of getting priced out of our get-togethers.
And I was wondering if at least a couple of times,
you know, every other time maybe we can go to a more affordable place.
And, you know, if your friends care about you and want you there,
I'm sure that they won't be willing to meet,
I'm sure they'll be willing to meet you in the middle at some point.
Yes, I think that's a really fair point.
I think you know, you can say like, hey, at least like a couple of times a month,
can we go to a place that's like affordable that everybody likes?
You know, and then I can participate as well because, you know,
I'm friends with you guys, but you know, you earn a lot more money than I do.
And I think that in that case, a lot of times they don't even think like that.
You know, most people think like, oh, if I have this much money,
everybody has this much money, you know, you're not thinking clearly
about like what other people might be earning.
You know, maybe your friend works for like an NGO or something like that.
You know, and so they're doing something that they love,
giving back to the community, but they're not getting paid,
you know, high salary as opposed to like a lawyer or a doctor who's making a lot of money.
It's totally fair to say to them, hey, can we go to, you know, the burger joint
or the pizza place, you know, once in a while, like the old days?
And they'd probably be happy.
They'd probably love it, you know, like unless they're, you know, really stuck up people,
they probably would enjoy going, you know, back to their roots and doing some of the stuff
that you guys did when you were in college or when you were in your 20s.
So yeah, I think your advice is excellent.
Yeah. And yeah, I guess we're, you know, we're, we're curious what,
what you guys think.
Social, do you want to take us out here with the,
yeah, all right, guys, let us know what you think. Is this person the jerk? Are they not the jerk?
What would you do in their situation? Make sure to leave us a comment down below at a
DZ English podcast at gmail.com. Oh, sorry, leave us a comment down below at a Z English podcast.com.
Shoot us an email at a DZ English podcast at gmail.com and join the WeChat and WhatsApp group
to join in the conversation. And we Jack and I are now hosting a
a, uh, English corner.
Yeah, English corner Monday through Friday, uh, for an hour, um, a day.
And, um, if you're interested in joining, make sure to check through the WeChat or the WhatsApp group,
uh, for the link. And we'll see you guys next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
