I want to do it all, see it all, learn it all, experience it all.
So many pieces of music, films, languages.
But I give up easily.
I get bored.
I can't choose.
I get frustrated when I don't see results or when I feel like I'm not good at something and so I quit.
Or I get overly confident and feel like it's too easy, and so I quit year.
I want to learn how to not quit and i want to turn some of those i want to learn x to.
I'm going to learn x and to turn one day to today.
It's arrogant, foolish to think that we are promised anything, but right now it's not just the shortness of life, it's the quality of each day that we're given.
Let's not take it for granted.
So when i lost some of my hearing a few months ago, my mom and i started a new hobby.
We started knitting together, so we would just sit quietly and knit.
Now granted, she's much better than i, am a lot quicker, but this is the first scarf that i started.
But she's the one who finished it and it's a little little ripped here, so i need to fix that.
And then this scarf, which is a lot more sophisticated and just better knitted than the first one, and then this scarf my mom made me because she thinks i should wear a little bit more color.
It's super long, but I use it sometimes.
I'm just not a very colorful person, but I don't mind adding a little bit more color into my life.
So this one is quite special to me.
These cute little wool socks.
Well, all of these are in wool.
They are a tiny bit too large, but love them.
They're so soft and I like pink.
Before picking up knitting.
I couldn't remember the last time that I picked up a hobby just for the enjoyment of it, the way that I used to do all the time as a kid.
But why?
Part of it has been due to analysis paralysis.
Analysis paralysis.
It's when you are unable to make decisions because you are overthinking, overanalyzing and there is an abundance of choice.
You want to make sure that you are making the best one, and so you spend days weeks months, sometimes years, stuck in inaction.
The search for perfection becomes an excuse not to commit, and so you end up not choosing.
And in the words of Jean Paul Sartre, I can always choose, but I ought to know that if I do not choose, I am still choosing.
And we all suffer from this to an extent.
It's the whole bell jar by Sylvia Plath.
We want to live all the different lives and we mourn all the lives that we cannot and that we lose and miss out on due to lack of time and resources.
For me, it all really comes down to the fear of it all being a waste.
I'm overly aware of the fact that I can spend a lot of time and energy and money on something that may end up not being as successful or rewarding as I had hoped, and so I protect myself by not committing but then also not living, because to live is to fail and to be rejected and to be disappointed.
And, of course, I rarely think of it in the opposite terms.
What if things turn out great?
What if it's incredibly rewarding?
And I'll be so happy that I did it.
You can only find out by actually finding out, and I'm working on that mindset shift.
I would like to take a moment to thank BetterHelp for sponsoring this portion of the video.
I tend to spend a lot of time inside of my head thinking about all the things that I want to do and experience or change about myself or accomplish.
I'll see something and think, you know wow, imagine how cool it would be to be able to do that thing or to try that thing.
But then I will just move on with my life.
One of the most important promises to myself for this year is that I would like to actually do the very things that I admire, or at least try them instead of just thinking about them.
Speaking to a therapist about this has been so helpful to me because a therapist can help you identify those mental battles you have and where you fall short and how you can take With BetterHelp, you'll be matched with a therapist usually within 48 hours after filling out a questionnaire.
If you, for whatever reason, do not feel like you are happy or clicking with that therapist, you can easily switch to a different therapist at no additional cost.
BetterHelp is such an accessible option for Anyone who's looking to go to therapy and also there are no obligations or expectations, is very low pressure, so it's very easy to try out and see if it works for you.
And you get to be very flexible.
You can choose how you would like your session.
So if you want them via phone, via messaging, video, whatever you feel the most comfortable with.
To be honest, the only regret I have when it comes to therapy is not starting it sooner, but it's never too late.
And if you would like to try out BetterHelp, I have left a link for you in my description box.
It's betterhelp.com slash lana.
And by choosing Lana Blakely during signup, you will get to enjoy a special discount on your first month.
Thank you again so much to BetterHelp for continuing to support this channel.
I did gymnastics for a while growing up.
I loved it, but I ended up quitting, and I always wished I hadn't.
I wished I was flexible, I wished I could do the splits.
About two months ago, this crazy thought hit me. perhaps I can still learn that.
That very same day, I started stretching, and I committed to doing it daily.
I've been sharing my progress on TikTok and naturally, my entire For You page has been filled with stretching routines calisthenics, yoga and naturally, I now want to learn a headstand handstand, peacock pose, scorpio pose.
I need to calm down.
I don't want to become a hobby collector who tries everything for one week, becomes overwhelmed, ends up seeing no results and then quits.
I have to be careful not to overcommit.
Here's how I do that.
I zoom all the way out and I look at the things that I'm already doing and the top things that I would like to do, and then I categorize them.
So if I notice having too many hobbies within the same categories, I re-evaluate.
So here are the questions that I ask.
What need does this hobby mainly fulfill and what motivates you to do it?
Is enjoyment or progress the main goal?
So knitting in my case is relaxing, low effort, and I get to socialize quietly.
And what motivates it is getting to spend time with my mom and the pieces that I get to create.
So enjoyment is the main goal.
Stretching is physically challenging and i'm motivated by the way that it makes my body feel and by being able to measure the progress towards my goal, which right now is getting the front splits.
So i would say progress is the main goal.
Biking you know, i ride my bike with no goal at all, mainly in spring and summer, and i get to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine and sure, it's some light exercise, but it's not even that, you know, it just makes me feel free.
So enjoyment is the main goal.
Playing the piano On this very day I was getting ready to go and take my very first piano lesson.
I played some keyboard as a kid, but I never learned to read music.
I just learned to play a couple of songs and, as with gymnastics, I have found myself so many times throughout my adulthood thinking oh, how I wish I could play the piano.
And now I'm committing to it.
So I just got homework.
I never thought I would ever again be this excited to get homework, but I'm super excited to learn all of the notes.
I am starting from zero, so it's a lot, but it's so much fun and I just cannot wait to learn something from the very ground up, just learning all the basics, and I'm just gonna sit and do this now.
Unlike the other hobbies I have mentioned so far, playing the piano to me is mentally challenging.
I'm still in the very beginning stages of learning, but I'm motivated by having a new way of expressing myself, the beauty of the sound and being able to recreate some of the beautiful music pieces that I liked listening to.
So, unlike riding my bike, progress is important here, but it is really enjoyable too.
Everything requires some level of commitment and discipline and sacrifice.
Your bike will need repairing, you will run out of paint and you have to go to the store, your piano will need to be tuned, your running shoes will wear, you will burn the pie.
Even the easiest of things are hard sometimes and the most fun things are boring sometimes.
And the things you love the most you will resent at times.
In my view, there are chore-like aspects to everything worth having.
Don't give up.
Note to self.
