This is the All Ears English Podcast, one way to encourage your friends in English.
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Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
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When a friend comes to you and is unsure about something, what can you say to make them feel more positive and energized?
Today, get one key phrase to do this and build connection.
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hi lindsey how are you excellent michelle how are you doing i'm good thanks lindsey do you think there are any definites in life are there any definites in life um well what is that saying that's so famous the only thing you can count on in life is death and taxes oh yeah yeah yeah Yep.
Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.
So I suppose those things are, are definite.
Um, but other than that, not really Michelle.
Yeah. Not too much.
Right. Today we're going to answer a listener question that I'm really excited about.
We've been getting so many good listener questions.
I absolutely love these.
So, um, and today is no different.
Lindsay, this question comes to us from YouTube.
Um, would you like to read it?
Yeah, this is a question from Omid Zakary7393.
and omit is a long time listener michelle i am excited to read this question thanks so much lindsey and aubrey i've been listening to your podcast for nine years oh my gosh thank you that's such a long time we love this listener oh my gosh yeah i have a question for you could you please tell me about this phrase
it's a matter of when not if in which situations can we use this thank you in advance omid from iran amazing long time listener yeah and omid put a lot of the hearts and smiley faces so we appreciate that thank you so much yeah we really appreciate that so just like omid i'm sure that omid is following all ears
english and apple podcast or spotify or wherever maybe maybe he's a youtube listener watcher because he asked this question anyways hit follow hit subscribe or follow wherever you are listening to the podcast all right Perfect.
All right. So yeah.
Great question. So what does it mean when we say it's a matter of when not if?
Yeah. So that's a good question.
So it just means that things are going to happen eventually.
It's not. It's just you can be sure that the thing is going to happen.
It's just a matter of we're not sure the timing of the thing.
Right. Right. Right.
Right. Exactly. I mean, something's definitely going to happen not in no ifs needed right it's yeah exactly the key is that we just don't know when so when would this be used well hypothetical situations would be a good one so when one person is positive about something and the other person is less sure
right so what does that look like michelle in an example right so just talking about plans even right now just Like, so maybe you're trying to get into a tough restaurant that's very popular.
You might say, oh, we will get into the restaurant.
It's a matter of when and not if.
OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, perfect. Love that.
Yeah, no, that's good.
So what else? What else?
Well, yeah, these hypothetical situations, Lindsay, you were you were mentioning.
So it could be the company will start to unravel if we don't do something now.
It's a matter of when, not if.
Exactly. Yeah. And then when we're talking about goals, this is a very different orientation to it, to this phrase.
Right? It's more of a positive orientation.
So if you are determined to build more muscle, for example, I'm going to build more muscle.
It's a matter of when, not if.
I can see like a teenager saying this to his mom.
You know what I mean?
He's like, I'm going to become buff, you know?
Right, right, right, right.
Watch that. I'm going to the gym for 10 hours, and you can't stop.
It's a matter of when, right?
Exactly. To me, I really like this.
It's quite confident sounding.
Lindsay, would you use this?
Yeah, I think this is kind of in line with my philosophy in life of everything changes.
You know, change, even though sometimes we don't notice it, but everything will change eventually, right?
Changes are normal.
So when we see a big change coming, instead of getting scared and curling up and being afraid, we can see, hey, this was always coming.
And it's just happening now instead of at another time.
Right. And so now I'm going to face the challenge and rise to the occasion.
It's quite empowering, I think.
Yeah. Yeah. I like that a lot.
Yeah. Again, it depends how confident that you want to sound.
Right. If you if you're very confident something is going to happen, you just don't know when give this a try.
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Okay, Michelle, where else should we go with this?
So would you say this has more of a positive, like, is it used more for positive or negative situations?
I think it's just, hmm.
What do you think? I'm not sure how to answer that.
I think both, actually.
I think both too. And I also think that it can be great for business.
So, I mean, you know, when somebody is searching for a job, you know, oh, she's going to get a job.
it's a matter of when not if you know so yes it could be used to encourage somebody so that's so that's a positive thing but what's another example okay here's another example he's going to catch a cold if he doesn't get more sleep and practice proper hand hygiene it's a matter of when not if that's
probably true when you have kids and they're going to daycare and the parents are going to get sick when not if right yes i could see i could see parents bonding over this it's like, you know, oh, it's a matter of when, not if.
We all know that we're going to get the, well, that's, you know, if one kid is sick in the family and then, you know, it's going to rip through the whole house.
It's a matter of when, not if.
And by the way, that's a great bonus for our listeners today, Michelle.
Rip through, rip through the household.
This, actually, this phrase was used during the pandemic, too.
Unfortunately, you know, pandemic ripped through certain cities and towns and countries.
But yeah, for sicknesses within the household, just the common cold, we might say that too.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Actually my, it's so funny because then you don't know where it started or where it ended.
So my husband and my two kids now are, they all have colds and I don't really, but I kind of had something a couple like before them.
So I don't know you know it's i don't know i don't know either i gave it to them or that was something else you know they all start to overlap but yeah you never know you never know exactly but yeah i mean this is good for connection i think because um it just it it like i mean like the sickness example
this is something that can help you bond with people over shared experiences and it can also just give you this sound of confidence.
What do you think, Lindsay?
Yeah, you know, I really think it can be a great phrase to encourage someone.
I liked your example of getting a job, you know, maybe if you don't have a job at the moment, you're going to get a job.
It's just a matter of when not if if you have a friend that's in a not a great situation, and they're worried about maybe, you know, their prospects getting a job or other scenarios, you could use this to encourage them.
I love that idea. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So let's talk about some similar ways to express this idea.
These are good ones.
So the first one is it's only a matter of time.
What do you think about that one?
Yeah, I love that. Well, that's, I'm sure people had to say this to themselves.
It's been hard shopping for homes, especially during the pandemic.
Things got really competitive, you know?
And so going back out there Saturday after Saturday, you had to say something, you know, to yourself.
So for example, yeah, again, we'll find the house of our dreams.
It's only a matter of time.
Love it. Yes, exactly.
And this also makes me think of another expression.
It only takes one. Do you ever hear that?
Yeah. Yeah. So these could be used for the house or the job or if somebody wants to meet someone, sometimes we could do a whole episode on this and might say, oh, it only takes one.
Right. That's that's the example I was going to think of.
Oh, yeah. You know, if your friend's really struggling with the dating world and they're really discouraged.
Dating is hard these days, and to be able to say something, it's hard to know what to say to people.
Yeah, exactly. And then another thing you could say is no question.
That's just a very confident sounding thing to say.
You could say, with a little bit of hard work, we will ace this.
No question. Exactly.
So I don't have any others to add there i think those are great um these are true connection skills a hundred percent yes yes all right let's put them together in a role play let's do it michelle so here we are planning a party and we are friends so okay okay so okay so if the band shows up we will be
in great shape oh they will show up it's a matter of when not if okay great and the food oh that's all squared away no question okay do we have all the rsvps well not yet but the deadline is tomorrow so it's only a matter of time i'm feeling very confident about this yes absolutely yes you are very
confident this is gonna be a good one maybe you have some party planning experience i don't know oh yeah i'm sure i'm sure uh imagine being a wedding planner and you know i guess you would have to be that confident about all the logistics if you're a wedding planner right yeah yeah oh gosh yeah for sure
yep so here we are um you said oh they will show up it's a matter of when not if okay good so i'm not you're not quite so sure right but i'm sure yeah and i can put you at ease right and you're echoing me because i said oh if the band shows up we'll be in great shape so you were saying so you're kind
of echoing them so this can be a good one guys if you're listening to someone talk and they're saying oh if this happens if that happens and kind of want to say oh it's going to happen but it's this is also about um you know i i know someone who's still likes to talk a lot about like manifesting what's
what's going to happen by putting positive feelings and you know it phrases out into the world and just being positive yeah absolutely i love that and i like that you highlighted that um i am mirroring what you're saying so again if the band shows up and i i catch on to the if and i say it's a matter
of when not if i love that so good and then i said uh and the food and you said that's all squared away which is a bonus for today what does that mean if something's all squared away it's all taken care of yes it's all done and then you said no question yes i'm very confident okay and then you said
okay do we have all the rsvps and i said not yet but the deadline's tomorrow so it's only a matter of time clearly michelle i have some party planning experience here right i mean i'm not a newbie no not a newbie so but yeah let's let's uh so you can use all of these these are all very common and lindsay
another uh since we were talking about kids today and colds and all that stuff we have episode 23 31 was a conversation starter how are kids seen around the world that was a fun one yeah definitely that is a good recommendation so go back to 2331 and check that one out michelle i think the takeaway
here today is this you know it matters it kind of matters what you say when someone comes to you and they're not sure about something yeah yeah and you if you feel like you can you know you can get behind some a positive message if you do believe that this thing is going to happen for them you can express
that and help them to deal with the the kind of challenges in life, right?
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
This can really help you connect with someone who's feeling a little unsure of something.
So, yeah, this was a great question from Omid.
Thank you so much. And yeah, Lindsay, I guess I'll talk to you on the next one.
Sounds good, Michelle.
Talk to you soon. Bye.
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