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Connect over hurt feelings in English.
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Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, And Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.
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When you get hurt, either emotionally or physically, what exactly can you say in English?
Today, get four ways to say that you're hurt in English to build better relationships.
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Hello, Aubrey. How are you today?
I'm great, Lindsay.
How are you? Good. Glad to be on the microphone.
All good. What are we talking about on the show today?
I have a question to start us out.
When's the last time you were hurt?
Oh, well, I had some pain.
I had a cut on my face recently a few weeks ago on my eye, actually, and that really hurt, actually.
It really stung. Yeah, that sounds really painful.
I've had eye injuries before, too.
I feel like anything you have a lot of nerve endings in your face right so that would hurt a lot for sure and in your scalp and that sort of thing absolutely but i'm curious what would change if instead i asked when's the last time you felt hurt that would probably be more about an emotional pain right because the fact that you use the word felt points more to the feelings inside not so much the cuts and scrapes and bruises.
Right, Aubrey? Right, exactly.
There's a big difference between I am hurt and I feel hurt.
This question came up in our Q &A.
Tracy brought it up.
It was a great question about all the ways we use hurt in English.
So we're going to dive into these today.
Really interesting.
It was a great conversation.
I'm excited to talk about it here.
I bet it was. And just a reminder for our listeners, what is Q &A?
Well, that is a special feature only available for students who purchase our courses, but not just our courses.
Those who choose the personal coach plan in our courses get a chance to attend the weekly Q &A where they can bring questions from their course and have them answered directly.
So just keep that in mind, listeners.
The next time you join one of our courses, join the personal coach plan to get in.
Yes. It's an amazing weekly class.
Everyone brings really interesting questions.
It's usually a pretty small group and a great conversation.
So if you're not in there, you are missing out.
Yeah. Really good opportunity.
So, all right. So let's get into it, Aubrey.
Where shall we start today?
Yeah. So we're going to start with just, I'm hurt.
Like you were saying, you were hurt because you had like a cut on your face.
And this means physical injury or pain, right?
So you can say I'm hurt or I'm in pain.
And here we're talking about physical injury.
Yeah. What I usually say is I usually say I got hurt.
I'll talk about it in the past tense.
I got hurt last week when I fell while skiing and, you know, bumped my knee, something like that.
Yes, definitely. Right.
Because if we say I am hurt or I am in pain, it's almost like you're just, you're describing it to a doctor more, right?
Describing your pain.
If you're going to tell someone you're injured, yeah, we'd say I got hurt when something happened.
When we, when we said those two phrases, I imagined walking into the ER or something, right?
I'm hurt, I'm in pain, someone right yes exactly yes hopefully not um here's an example oh no i'm hurt i rolled my ankle yeah and this is where i'm imagining like you're playing volleyball and you fall right and i think you're right i still would maybe say i got hurt yeah yeah i got hurt i rolled my ankle yeah but i think you could say it would make sense to say you know oh no i'm hurt you can't it's it's grammatically correct it doesn't feel super natural to me to say i'm hurt right oh no i got hurt or Ooh, that hurts.
Oh, more like that hurts, right?
Yeah. This hurts. That hurts.
Yeah. Interesting. And then you could ask someone, you know, are you hurt or how bad does it hurt if someone else has clearly been injured and you're trying to assess how serious it is?
Yes. I like that. All right.
Now let's flip over to the emotional side of things.
And this is what you asked at the top of the show, right?
I feel hurt. Yeah. Emotional pain, maybe disappointment or sadness.
sadness. Interestingly, we don't use this for anger, right?
We wouldn't say I'm hurt by what this person did.
If we're feeling angry, we'd say I'm mad, I'm angry, I'm frustrated.
Yes, exactly. So for example, I wish you hadn't said that.
You hurt me, right?
Yeah. And this is, you're not saying I'm angry.
You're saying I feel disappointed or saddened.
Yeah. Maybe a kind of a disagreement you're having with your spouse, for example, something like that?
Yeah, of course. Friend, right?
If they maybe lie to you or say something negative, they tell you, you don't look good in your jeans, something like that, that could hurt your feelings, right?
It just makes you feel bad.
Yeah, of course. What's another example, Aubrey?
Yeah, it really hurt when he said he didn't want to be my friend.
This, oh, my son said this to me not long ago because kids are so honest and sometimes they don't realize how something will hurt feelings.
I say, oh, you want to be my friend?
No, thanks. Oh, that hurts.
No, thanks. Oh my God.
That's so cute. Yeah, no, that's true.
I don't know what at what age they develop.
I guess they develop it over time, right?
But that level of empathy to really understand the impact of their words.
So we can't take it too seriously.
And the age might be different for every kid, right?
The parents there saying like, okay, let's be nice.
Think about how you would feel if someone said that to you right i mean my even my niece is still she's 11 now and she's still incredibly blunt like she'll you know she used to say she loved my hair and now that my hair is not like the style that everyone's wearing the the center part yeah now when i see her she'd be like i hate your hair oh no she's like your hair is so outdated aunt lindsay that's really funny you need to fix your hair just tell you like you're just following trends you know that's really funny yeah and so you might say to her, you know, oh, that hurt my feelings.
I often tell my kids, like, just don't comment on someone's physical appearance, you know, because it's likely to hurt someone's feelings.
Yes, I like I should start saying that to her when she says that because she needs to know by 11, these things can be hurtful.
I like my hair. Okay.
All right, next one.
It hurts, right? So this is something is causing physical or emotional pain.
For example, my back hurts, right?
Exactly. Or it hurts to be rejected, right?
So this is for both physical and emotional pain.
When we're just describing it as a state, we'll just say it hurts, something hurts.
Yeah. Yes, exactly.
And now the next one is an idiom.
So now we can get into, for example, on the IELTS exam, maybe this could be good in part three.
What do you think, Aubrey?
Absolutely. Right. You have to use idiomatic language on IELTS, but also in your daily conversations, idioms make language so much more interesting.
And this is a fun one.
It's in a world of hurt.
So this means that someone is in trouble or facing serious consequences.
My dad said this to me a lot.
He'd say, you will be in a world of hurt if you don't get your chores done, for example.
Oh, interesting. And I knew that it wasn't like he was physically going to hurt me.
He was what he meant was there will be consequences.
Oh, that's kind of a cool trademark for your dad, right?
All of our parents have their own little language trademarks.
I love that. Yeah. So if I miss this deadline, I'll be in a world of hurt.
Yeah. We might say that at work, right?
And all we mean, we're not talking about physical or emotional pain here.
We're meaning that I'm going to be in trouble.
I'm going to have some kind of consequence if I don't do this.
Or maybe you're just going to be extremely stressed out or you don't prepare the presentation.
I'll be in a world of hurt right before or because I'll be stressed up to my eyeballs, you know, exactly.
This is super useful.
You can use this in daily conversations or at work.
It just means I'm going to regret it.
Yes. And what else, Aubrey, we have one more.
Oh, this is the one your dad said.
I pulled the second example here first and you will hear, I think parents say this to kids, right?
It's just a way of saying like there will be consequences for your actions.
You'll be in a world of hurt if you don't do that.
Interesting. I love that.
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Okay, Aubrey, let's jump into a role play.
And by the way, I was chatting with one student at our Open Conversation Club this morning, and she said she loves our role plays.
So I think we are on the right track with these All Airs English role plays here.
They're so fun. I love thinking of all the different scenarios like this one.
You are a doctor and I have come in with a hurt arm.
Okay, good. I like this.
Okay. All right, here we go.
Ooh, that looks like it hurts.
Now, how did it happen?
Yeah, I heard it when I slipped and fell on some ice in a parking lot.
Well, on a scale of one to 10, how much does it hurt?
Maybe six. It feels numb now more than anything.
Well, hopefully you're not left -handed or you'll be in a world of hurt.
Well, that's not very sensitive to say.
Not the best bedside manner.
Lindsay, work on that.
I need to work on my bedside manner.
Absolutely. So here we go.
We broke it down. So you came in and you had a broken arm, right?
And I said, oh, that looks like it hurts.
That's a common chunk for sure.
Exactly. Right. Just meaning like that looks like it's painful is what this means.
And interestingly, in the role play description, I've come in with a hurt arm.
This is where we use it as an adjective.
This is another meaning, right?
I have a hurt arm and there it's an adjective instead of a verb like most of these.
Right. Nice. Okay. And then what it now used it as a verb here.
What did you say? Yeah.
I hurt it when I slipped and fell.
So this is the same meaning as injured.
I injured it. I hurt it.
Yep. I hurt it when I, and usually we bring those together pronunciation wise, right?
I heard it when I slipped and fell.
It almost sounds like one word sometimes.
Exactly. And just like you pointed out, we'll often say I got hurt, right?
Oh, I got hurt when I slipped and fell.
We'll also say this.
I heard it. I broke it.
All right. But this is where I don't know it's broken.
So I'll just say I heard it.
Yeah. If you want to focus on the arm itself, I heard it instead of I got hurt when I slipped and fell.
Right. Exactly. And then I'm asking you on a scale of one to 10, how much does it hurt?
Where's your pain? Meaning what's your pain level?
How much does it hurt?
Exactly. And then you said this one that we said was not very good bedside manner to say, hopefully, because it's clearly my left arm that's injured.
Hopefully you're not left -handed or you'll be in a world of hurt.
Meaning it's going to be, it's going to be hard to write.
It's going to be hard to do some of your actions because the doctor's probably looking at it and can tell maybe it's broken.
It's clearly a very serious injury.
Yeah, it's hard. I remember in college in my tennis practice once, one day I played college tennis tennis practice broke my wrist or it was a hairline fracture and everything was so hard to do brushing my hair getting dressed everything was so difficult for a good like four weeks five would you have a brace that you wore on it yeah i had a still it wasn't a cast but it was a brace yeah yeah you just like all the ways you use your hands right to get ready and everything it makes you really appreciate um i have a good friend whose daughter has limb differences and And it's amazing all of the technology
that has come out to help.
But it's just amazing how a lot of people are able to live with a difference like that.
And we struggle so much just with a couple of weeks of having to live that way.
I know. Very impressive.
Absolutely. So Aubrey, what's another episode that we could go to to check out?
Yeah, we want to make sure that you don't miss a recent episode of the Business English Podcast 379, Why You Should Not Hem and Ha at Work.
This is a more fun idiomatic language and also some good tips.
If you work in English.
Yeah, exactly. So if you're not following the Business English podcast, that's a whole other podcast and it's equally amazing.
So go over and open your search bar, type in Business English, hit the follow button and check out 379.
All right. And as a takeaway, what a great way to connect if you are feeling either physical or emotional pain, right?
You don't need to hide it.
it's okay to, I talk to my kids about this a lot, right?
It's okay to be in pain.
It's okay to cry. Yes.
You know, be vulnerable about emotional or physical pain.
It's so true. I mean, it can make you become closer to people.
It can make people know you better, know what you actually care about.
So now our listeners have the words to do it, right?
Especially if like a friend hurt your feelings, right?
You wouldn't want to bottle that up and then resent them, right?
Right. Now you have the vocabulary to express that and communicate about it.
I love it. Good stuff.
Aubrey, thanks for being on the show.
I'll see you soon. Awesome.
See you next time. All right.
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