This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2531.
Of course you should use these tips.
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Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.
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Do you find yourself using the phrase, of course?
Did you know that there is one use that might be getting you into trouble?
Find out what it is and what to say instead today.
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Hey there, Aubrey.
What's shaking?
I'm great, Lindsay.
Question for you.
Okay.
Have you ever texted something to the wrong person or maybe the wrong group chat?
Yeah, I totally did that once a few years ago.
I thought I was texting to my partner, but I was texting in like a more of a professional group chat or something like that.
Yeah, it could be bad.
Luckily, it wasn't that bad.
I just wrote something like, should I cook chicken?
Like, Or something like that.
Should I cook chicken?
Should we cook chicken?
They're like, yes, they made like a wisecrack response or something.
This just happened to me this week.
I love that you did that as well.
I was preparing for this episode.
And I meant to type into chat GPT something and I sent it to my volleyball group instead, which is like 20 people.
And so, to give a little background, today we're sharing tips to help you avoid a common mistake in English accidentally offending, with the phrase of course, which can accidentally be a little rude.
So what happened was someone asked one of our students if they had taken a photo, that they posted this beautiful photo, and they responded yes, of course.
And that inspired this episode, because I realized oh, they don't realize that could come across as rude or critical of the question, right?
So I was sort of brainstorming other circumstances when you shouldn't say of course, and I meant to put in chat GPT when is it inappropriate to say yes, of course.
But I sent that to 20 volleyball players and their responses were very funny.
Okay.
One person typed, when airport security asks if you packed anything flammable.
It's like all they responded.
And someone else said, when someone asks if you need help burying a body.
I love that.
This is really funny.
So then I had to explain to them because they were like, why are you asking this?
That is so funny.
I'm sorry.
That's hilarious.
So out of context.
So it's so funny.
Oh, this is really good stuff.
Yeah.
This is going to be a great episode though because, you know, of course, usually it's very positive and adds enthusiasm to say yes, of course.
But depending on the context.
It could be rude, right?
This is going to be a great episode because we're going to get into a real nuance of English that I think our listeners are ready for.
Because I think a common misunderstanding about, of course, is that people use it to answer yes in different contexts.
And if you're offering to help or you're providing help to someone about something yes, that leaves you open.
That's friendly.
But then when we use it in a slightly different answer, it does sound potentially a little snappy, don't you think?
Exactly they're critical of the question snappy maybe, so we're going to get into all of the meanings of course might have and whether they are positive or potentially could be rude.
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Absolutely.
Okay, Aubrey.
So what would be the first meaning of, of course?
Yeah.
So the first one is what you were mentioning.
It means, yes, I can do that if someone's asking for help.
Right.
So let's do a little mini role play showing this.
Can you help me organize these files?
Yes, of course.
So this you're saying, yes, I can do that.
And you're being a little more enthusiastic about it.
Because sometimes, if you just say yes, the other person might be like okay, is that yes, but I don't really want to, or like yes, of course.
So just to clarify, there's no world in which that's rude, right?
Aubrey, this is not the rude use of of course.
It's all about what you're responding to.
If ever someone has asked for help, you can say, yes, of course.
And it's never rude.
Exactly.
It's about what you're responding to and think about how that comes off.
So let's go into number two. which is, yes, I would do that.
The second use.
Yeah.
So if someone is asking if you would do something or maybe if you would join them somewhere this is the second way we use this.
We'll say, yes, of course.
Meaning, yes, I would do that.
Or yes, I would like to do that.
Okay.
So what does this look like, Aubrey?
All right.
Here's a little role play.
Want to come with me to a basketball game this week?
Yes, of course.
So this is really enthusiastic.
You're wanting to make it clear that you do really want to come.
You're not saying yes out of politeness.
Right.
So it adds enthusiasm.
Purely positive here.
And there are other options.
You know, you could say yes, absolutely.
If you want to really show that you really want to go to that game.
Maybe the person has courtside seats or something.
You really want to go.
So we don't have to say, of course.
Right.
Keep that in mind.
Right.
And it's interesting how you don't have to say yes, of course.
You can just say of course, just to enthusiastically say yes.
But if you're using it to answer other questions, you could sound like you're criticizing the question or the person asking and accidentally give offense.
Give offense.
You could be criticizing the assumption behind the question or what.
Yeah, exactly.
Let's see what this looks like, Aubrey.
Yeah.
So, for as an example, let's say you take cookies to a party and someone asks if you made them yourself and you say yes, of course.
Right.
What would that imply, Lindsay, if you asked me and I said, yes, of course.
This would imply that I'm thinking maybe you think I bought them, which could be offensive, right?
I'm probably offended that you think I bought them when I put all this work in to make them.
Of course I made them.
I think part of what might be happening here is just direct translation from our native languages.
Potentially.
Because I think maybe, of course, the translation in French Spanish, Italian might be more accepted more broadly.
Right.
Yeah, and might not have this implication, right?
This is kind of a cultural connotation of this, you know, assumed offense, right?
So instead, if someone asks you that you could be like, yes, I did.
Oh, it took me all day, right?
If you say, of course, they might be assuming you were offended by the question.
Yeah, it's really, wow, this is really, really touching.
Let's do a little role play of what not to do.
So here, I'm giving you, Lindsay, a tour of my new apartment, and you see a painting on the wall.
Start us off.
All right, here we go.
Did you paint this?
Of course.
It's a little rude.
Yeah, it's really interesting.
I probably didn't mean to be rude.
I just want to share that yes, I did.
But there is this implied offense at the question that you're assuming maybe I didn't, when of course I did.
Right.
It's implied.
Exactly.
So this is where we might deploy our alternative options.
Like we said earlier, saying instead of saying of course, in this context saying absolutely, I did.
Right.
Or if someone's asking you to do something, I'd be happy to.
Lots of different options here.
But yeah, if someone asks like, if you painted something, just saying like yes, I did, and then often it's great to immediately give more information right, if you just stop there yes, I did.
Yeah, don't kind of be strange awkward.
We don't love silence in American culture and usually a question like that.
If someone asks Did you paint that?
Did you make these cookies?
They're trying to start a conversation.
So if you can give more than just yes I did give some kind of detail about where you got the recipe from or when did you do the painting then you're starting a fun conversation.
Yeah.
Maybe the inspiration behind the painting, the type of painting, paint that you use oil paints or, depending on who you're talking to.
Right.
It's the beginning of a conversation.
Yeah.
And then we use, of course, one final way, which is to say either you're welcome or like no problem.
And this also is not offensive, but it really has a very different meaning.
So it's kind of crazy how many ways we use.
Of course, it really is really interesting.
So I would say to you, thanks for staying late to help clean up.
Of course.
So this is friendly.
Yes.
It's like, and you're, it's the same as saying no problem, no problem.
Instead of just saying you're welcome, which can kind of feel like I'm put out if I say of course, or no problem.
I'm letting you know, I'm happy to help.
Yeah.
And your tone of voice really matters there too.
Of course.
Right.
You wanted to help.
You're making that clear.
Okay.
Exactly.
Right.
But other options are maybe Don't mention it.
Or like I said, no problem.
Or it's the least I could do.
These other really polite ways to say you're welcome, really.
Yes.
Love it.
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All right, Aubrey.
So we are going to do a role play and bring this whole thing to life here.
So here Ava, you are moving into a new home and you're asking me, your friend, for help with the move.
So this is an obligatory thing that friends do.
Especially when we're younger, right?
These days we would maybe just hire movers if we could.
When we were younger, we were always asking help with friends to move.
Yeah.
Once it starts to involve, like your kids and their things, I think your friends don't want to move there.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Or the older we get, we're like, my back can't handle this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true too.
Yeah, for sure.
All right, I'll start us out here.
Okay.
Hey, do you think you could help me move in this weekend?
Of course.
What time should I come over?
Thank you so much.
Maybe noon on Saturday.
I should have everything packed by then.
Oh, I could help pack too if you like.
Really?
That would be amazing.
Of course, I'd love to.
I remember you helped me move, so I definitely owe you one.
Oh, I really appreciate it.
It'll definitely go faster and be more fun.
In fact, I don't know if I ever thanked you for helping me out that day.
Thank you.
Of course, happy to help.
Nice.
So we didn't really have the offensive version in this, did we?
Not really.
I did not include the offensive version.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
But we could see how that could be slipped in.
Maybe again, there's like a piece of pottery that I pull out and we're packing.
Did you make this, right?
Of course that would be rude, because that's implying that you think that I think that it's not homemade or something.
I love that.
I think that, but it's so true.
It's all about what was the question?
What's maybe implied?
Are you offended by the question?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So let's go through this.
So what's the first thing I said, Aubrey?
So I had asked if you could help me.
You said, of course, what time should I be there?
So this is that first meaning.
I can do that.
I'm willing to do that.
Great.
And then I said I could help pack too, if you like.
You said, really, that would be amazing.
And then I said, of course, I'd love to.
We need to hear that enthusiasm in the voice there too, right?
Exactly.
This is that second meaning.
I would do that.
I'm willing to do that.
Very similar, these first two, but you're right.
The intonation, hearing in your voice, that willingness is a lot of it.
Because you could be like, of course, questioningly, and then the enthusiasm's gone.
Yeah, I was talking to my partner about this yesterday.
It's very weird in life when you encounter someone whose gestures or tone of voice don't match the words they're saying.
Like we had a doctor's appointment the other day and the doctor said, everything's fine, right?
But her tone of voice and like the gaps in what she was saying and her gestures, didn't make us feel that way.
Like really?
Because you don't sound like everything's fine.
Right?
It's weird because it erodes trust.
So it's really important to mirror what you're saying, the words, with gestures, with body language, with tone of voice.
At least in american english.
It is absolutely yes, very important, right?
So we don't send mixed messages or erode trust, like you said.
That's really yeah, totally.
And then just the last one here.
I said you were thanking me for helping you when you moved and i said, of course, happy to help and this just means you're welcome, Mm.
Hmm,
Nice.
OK, good stuff in this.
And I just yeah, this is really a high level episode today Aubrey, because I think many of our listeners may just be translating, of course, from their native language and not realizing that there's there's a catch there.
Right.
Exactly.
So again.
You've heard this before, but don't translate directly from your first language.
That always causes problems.
But also this is such a connection skill, right?
Being willing to help someone out is one of the best ways to build relationships.
And if you think about if someone asks you for help and you say, sure, I'm willing to help.
That's not building that much of a connection.
You're maybe making them feel like you're inconvenienced.
And so, of course, can really be a great way to be enthusiastic about your willingness to help someone.
Yeah, the word sure is so half-hearted, isn't it?
It's such a disappointment.
Sure.
Sure.
Unless you really give it a sure.
Yeah.
It really is a tone of voice and delivery really matter.
Ultimately, connection matters.
And it feels good to help out like it really does.
You know, if you can join a committee where you're helping people or just helping a friend, it'll give back to you.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
And then just the other takeaway is if someone asks you If you cooked something or if you bake something, if you respond with, of course, they may feel like you were offended by the question.
They may feel like you're criticizing the question.
So be careful with that.
Right.
Instead, you could just say like, yeah, I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have some other options for that particular scenario.
Right.
And then be ready to go into maybe what materials or ingredients you used.
Right.
Or why that thing inspired you.
Or maybe it was your grandmother's recipe or something.
I don't know.
Right.
It could be the start of a great, really fun conversation.
Yeah.
Really good stuff today.
All right, Aubrey.
Great topic.
Thanks for bringing this to the show.
And I'll see you soon.
Awesome.
Thanks.
See you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to All Ears English.
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