This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2505.
Take the social pressure off with a theme night in English.
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Are there friends you've been wanting to invite over but you're not quite sure how?
Plan a theme night.
Today, learn why using a theme like game night or movie night can make socializing easier.
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Hey, Michelle, how's it going today?
Hi, Lindsay.
I'm good.
How are you?
Good.
Michelle, when was the last time you invited people over to your house?
Do you like to host?
Do you like to do that kind of thing?
Um, more so recently I've enjoyed it.
Um, but recently I've been more going to other people's houses, which I have to change because I feel like it's my turn.
Oh, do you prefer to go to other people's houses?
I'm happy either way.
I'm just happy to be with people.
But, um, I did.
Let's see.
I would say about a month ago we had for kind of a late night dessert slash game thing for the kids.
We had neighbors over and our very close friends.
So yeah uh, that was a lot of fun.
That's the last time that's so fun.
Yeah, how about you?
Do you like to invite people over?
Yeah yeah i, i love to.
We uh just got well, a few years ago we got one of those fire pits and we need to set it up.
Those are cool.
Yeah, i love, i love sitting on patios around fires doing s'mores or just doing like yo, drinking a glass of wine or something and having cheese, and I love that kind of thing.
You know, so I like it when I can be outside.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love it too.
And yeah, my next door neighbor, they just put in a patio and with a fire pit.
So the other night I came back.
We were coming back pretty late from somewhere and they were sitting out there and I just went and I sat with them and it was so perfect.
That's so good.
I don't have any sort of backyard yet because we just moved, but we'll be... figuring that out.
Oh yeah.
You should design a whole backyard.
You really should.
Because I feel like I don't know.
It encourages being more social, because something about being outside.
I don't like being cooped up.
Like cooped up in a house.
You know we're more in the front, which is nice too, because we have kind of a.
We have like a small front porch.
And so we were trying to make that like our temporary while we save up money for our backyard.
And it's kind of nice because then you see everybody, too.
So I love it.
The point is, it's good to have friends over.
Good to spend time with family and friends.
Yeah, definitely.
So that's what we're talking about today.
We're going to share a super easy and useful way to invite people to hang out.
So this episode is really about making new friends, forming a group.
This could be work friends.
This could be just a friend you see at a volunteer event, for example.
So it's kind of you know these people and you're ready to start a new chapter of your friendship.
You're kind of taking it to the next level.
You know, we all have those people where we know them and.
You feel like, oh, there's some sort of connection.
It's like dating in a way, but this is more about the friendship way.
You know that there's something.
There's some sort of friendship spark, right?
There's the possibility.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But one thing that you can do, guys, this is our suggestion, is to think of some sort of theme.
And we're going to use this construction, which is noun plus night.
Right.
Yeah.
This is really interesting.
I love this idea because do you think doing this kind of like giving the night a theme?
Do you think it sort of takes a little social pressure off because it provides structure?
Right.
Right.
It's not.
Yes, I do think so.
And, you know, instead of just saying, oh, you want to come over.
Right.
And hang out.
Right.
Especially for in the beginning.
You know, it is good to have some sort of structure.
Oh, this is what we're going to be doing.
And it's just that it.
I think, especially for the first time, it allows the person to know what are they going to be doing, get them excited about this activity, take some of that pressure off.
Yes, I love that.
I'm excited to get into this because there's grammar here.
There is social connection here.
There's vocabulary here.
So guys, hang out with us on this episode.
But first we want to make sure our listeners know about our next new course that is coming very soon.
We have been busy, busy this fall and we will be releasing our very first English pronunciation course coming out in the next few weeks.
Guys, this is huge.
The whole idea behind this course is not to teach you the American accent, the British accent, the Australian accent.
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It's not a syllable time language.
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And we'll show you that in the course, Michelle.
Yeah, that's really... It's like going behind the scenes.
Yeah, the hacks.
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Yeah, this is being a detective and going behind the curtain of the language and we're seeing not just individual sounds that most courses do.
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Go to allearsenglish.com slash pronunciation.
And Michelle, would you spell that for us?
Sure.
That's allearsenglish.com slash P-R-O-N-U-N-C-I-A-T.com.
I-O-N.
Long word.
Long word.
It is a long word.
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Very excited for you to check out this course coming soon.
Okay, Michelle, let's get back to movie night, game night.
What are some examples then?
Yeah, those are some of the examples.
So these are the, again, just something night.
It's a good way to... name a theme, right?
Name the structure for the evening.
And this doesn't mean that we're saying now you're going to come and there's going to be an agenda and we're going to make it's like.
You know, it's just some sort of framework so that somebody can say oh okay, this is what I'm going to be doing.
So yeah, exactly.
Movie night, game night.
You could even be specific in that.
Scrabble night, poker night.
There's so much we could do here.
Wine and cheese night, pizza night or pizza making night, breakfast for dinner night.
I mean, there's so much.
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Breakfast for dinner.
Please invite me to that if you do that.
Same here.
Yeah, this morning my daughter was crying hysterically because I wouldn't make her macaroni and cheese for breakfast.
Oh, she's one of those people that likes normal food at breakfast.
See, that I can't do.
I do the other way.
I love breakfast for dinner, but I can't do pizza for breakfast.
Yeah, no, no.
So, yeah, Lindsay, which one of those are you most likely to attend or to throw at your house?
I wouldn't turn down the wine and cheese night under normal circumstances, but probably movie night, game night.
I'm not.
I'm a little bit cooler on games.
It depends on what we're playing.
I remember you saying that yeah um, i like a game night.
Um, recently i've become we've become close friends with this um couple and they play a lot of games and so we have been doing more games, which is interesting.
Yeah, I feel like games are having like a renaissance, like a lot of millennials in their 30s and 40s play games now.
I don't know what I feel like maybe more than other generations.
At different times.
You know, I imagine in the 1950s it was two couples getting together sitting in the sitting room and the guys are smoking cigars.
And, you know, I just I don't know.
I think things change in terms of how people pass their time.
Maybe.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, so, Lindsay, again, this is useful.
This goes back to what we were saying.
It's a good way to be specific, have a theme.
And you know it's just, instead of just kind of being aimless, at least we have something again, especially for this first hangout.
This is kind of something where it might make everyone feel a little bit more comfortable if you're coming for something specific.
It could also be to gather some people for a specific TV show you watch and know your friends watch, or even a sports game, if you're into sports, right.
And it's just a nice way to invite people casually to your house, but with like, some sort of fun plan involved.
Yeah, this episode ties in really nicely with the one that Aubrey and I just recorded.
Based on some insight I gathered in Norway.
So it was about how to blend your bubbles and it came out in the last couple of weeks.
So, if you missed it and I think a game night or a movie night having a theme could be a way to blend your bubbles, meaning blend your groups of friends from different aspects, like from kids daycare you have friends right.
From school, you have friends.
From work, you have friends.
And do you bring them all together on the same evening?
I think we do that.
I think we try to do that sometimes in American culture.
I guess it happens less and less in different cultures around the world, but one way to facilitate that could potentially be having a theme night right.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
And guys, we will give you the episode number and name so you can listen to that one.
Wait, this is 2505.
Actually, that was yesterday.
Oh, well, there we go.
Then hopefully our listeners caught that one.
There you go.
If you missed yesterday's episode, go check it out.
But Michelle, one thing I want to say do you think that these types of night themes are necessary if you're really close to friends?
Like, let's say, if you have a couple you're inviting over that are like your best best friends, would you tend to do that less often?
With those people?
Or like, would you just have dinner?
Yeah.
If you would need to say, oh, something nice.
You can still do it.
Again, like my friends and I, you know, we might say, oh, should we have a movie night?
Or should we?
I still think that it's good and it gets people excited about it.
So I don't think that this is necessarily just for new friends.
I think it's needed less.
If you're just friends with someone oh hey, you guys want to come over right then it's a little bit more casual, but it can't ever hurt to have something to be excited about.
Especially a lot of people love games.
They love competition.
They're competitive, right?
So they get really excited about that.
Yeah, exactly.
So here, let's show how this would sound.
So, okay.
Hey, Lindsay, would you be interested in coming over tomorrow for game night?
I'm having a few friends over and we're going to play Scrabble.
So this also goes to that social bubble.
Yeah.
And I want to highlight something you did grammatically here.
You said we were going to play Scrabble.
So that's interesting.
And we should do another episode on that.
I suppose we probably did.
But years ago, I think we need to revisit it, Michelle.
It is so funny how we do that.
It's strange.
It almost makes it sound like the night has already happened and you never played Scrabble, but that's not what happened.
So stay tuned.
Hit follow guys to catch that episode.
That's a really high level grammar point.
Yeah, for sure.
And what's another example, Lindsay?
I could say, hi, Michelle.
Hey, if you're free, you should come by my house.
I'm having a wine and cheese night.
I would definitely be there for that.
So very friendly, very, very confident.
Also, I think it gives you more confidence as a person asking, because You're not just saying hey, do you want to come to my house?
Yeah, there's a structure.
There's a structure.
Structure makes things more approachable, maybe more simplified, right?
Yeah.
Love it.
And I'll see you next time.
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All right, Michelle, what else do we need to know here?
Other types of themes or things people do?
Right.
If you're not using game night, movie night, wine and cheese night.
There are also other specific things you can invite people to when you're first getting to know them.
So, for example, book club.
Lindsay, have you ever been in a book club?
Yeah, I don't think I have actually.
Maybe as a kid I was.
But so, for example, I'm thinking about starting a book club.
Are you interested?
I know that my partner does an article club.
So instead of having to read a whole book, they read an article and get together once a month.
So it's kind of cool.
You get the same benefit of like getting together discussing, but you don't have to go through a whole book.
Right.
I think book club has become famous for no one actually reading the book and you just get around and you drink wine and have snacks and you just maybe say a few things about the book.
But yeah, I'm not in a book club, but that's what I hear.
I've seen that on the movies.
Yeah.
Yep.
Or there's potluck, right?
So that's, again, that's when everybody brings a dish.
So I'm going to throw a potluck at my house next Friday.
Are you available?
This is important to know.
We've talked about this on the show but a while ago and also certain functions can be potluck right.
So it's not always just that it's someone coming to your house and the whole thing is planned around a potluck sometimes.
There's an event and there's going to be food and they'll say, oh, it's potluck.
And that means you need to bring a dish.
Right.
Yeah.
Very good point.
Yes.
And then there's also, you might consider saying oh, we're going to cook something together as a group.
So even just recently, my friend and I were saying, oh, we should we should pick out a whole menu.
I mean, pretty much this exact example.
We should pick a recipe and all cook it together next week.
So that's fun.
Yeah, I mean, one of the ways that we became friends with and I think I've talked about this a little bit before are, like our current very close friends.
We kind of, you know, broke the ice by all making.
Well, I say all my friend made us all a key lime pie.
Oh, yeah.
I think I was telling you.
And so cooking can just be like a huge connection moment.
Yes.
Yeah.
No, that's huge.
I love that.
And origin stories can be a huge connection moment.
Maybe we do an episode Michelle about origin stories of friendships and how people refer to them.
And if someone, it's kind of an inside joke, right?
So like if you're at a party and then you're the new one in the group and you hear that, how do you react?
Like, what do you do?
Right.
Yeah.
That would make a cool episode.
Don't you think?
Wait, what do you mean?
Like how?
Yeah.
Like you said something you told us last time on the show.
Right.
There's a comment about key lime.
Like that's a good key lime or what is it?
What is your inside joke?
No, just we're all obsessed with lime.
And now every time we get together, there's always a lot like some sort of lime involved.
Okay.
So like, how do you, like what's the language around that you know right, explaining that, like sharing that?
Yeah yeah yeah, i think our listeners would love to hear that.
Very cool yeah oh, that would be fun.
Okay, sounds good guys, hit follow.
So Guys, and remember to be specific about date and time.
So if it's a recurring event, you can also give some background for the invite.
You could say, oh, every Tuesday, my friends and I have a movie night.
If you'd like to join, you know.
But yeah, we will... we are definitely going to go into more of those origin stories.
I like that.
So should we do a role play?
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, let's do it.
So here we are work friends, right?
Work friends.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, Lindsay.
Hi.
Would you be interested in coming over tomorrow for pizza making night?
My friends and I love to try new pizza recipes.
Oh, wow.
That sounds delicious.
Sure.
Also, I've been meaning to ask you, I'm thinking about starting a book club.
Are you interested?
Yes.
Nice.
Nice.
Okay good, we got lots yeah, lots of theme nights here right yeah first like, we've like kind of been wanting to get together and you know, but nobody's really broken the ice.
So here right, here we're doing it.
So i said yeah, would you be interested in coming over tomorrow for pizza night?
Pizza night, pizza making night.
Yep.
Pizza make it could be pizza night pizza.
So if you say pizza night, that's usually you're going to order pizza.
And if you say pizza making night, we're actually going to get our hands in the dough and make the pizza together.
Totally different evening.
Very different.
Yep.
Right.
So we want to know that.
And then I said, wow, that sounds delicious.
Also, I've been meaning to ask you, I'm thinking about starting a book club.
Right.
Are you interested?
Nice.
So now we're kind of seeing, wait a second, like where we might end up being buds.
Yeah.
Being buddies outside of work.
Yeah, a little structure, a little structure.
And there's so many different kinds of nights we could do.
It makes me think of one.
A friend of ours has an apple tree.
And every year she does like an apple party where, like the whole theme is, you have to use this mechanism to go and grab the apples.
And then like, she'll cook an apple pie pie, apple tart apple, everything and it's all about that apple tree.
It's fun.
There's so much we could do.
That is fun.
Yeah, it's really cool.
Yeah um But guys again, if you want to check out that episode, this was just Last episode was 2504 How to Blend Your Social Bubbles in English.
Perfect one to couple with this.
Perfect one.
I love it.
Michelle, what's our takeaway for today?
Guys, don't be afraid to start making these connections.
If you've realized that there's someone from work or someone that you see at different functions that you kind of click with but you haven't actually asked to hang out, try using one of these right.
Try having some sort of theme to give a little structure.
Take some of that pressure off and yeah, have fun.
It's true.
Sometimes...
If you're feeling a little intimidated by just inviting someone over and you think what am I going to do.
Do I cook?
Instead, come up with a theme.
It also makes you more of a leader, right?
An organizer.
And that's empowering, right?
And that gives something to talk about.
It's an automatic conversation starter too when they come over.
Yeah.
Now, what kind of pizza do you like?
What are your thoughts on pineapple pizza?
That's always a hot topic, right?
That's a big one.
Yep.
There you go.
All right.
Good stuff today, Michelle.
Guys, hit follow.
We got a lot of great stuff coming for you. this fall and into the spring.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Thanks for talking about this with me today, Lindsay.
And guys, have fun at your next pizza making night.
Absolutely.
Take care, Michelle.
All right.
Bye.
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