This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2433, Communicate Your Boundaries in English.
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Do you ever feel that you have done so much and you can't do anything more, whether it's at work or in your personal life?
Today, get a key phrase to communicate your boundaries in English for more connection.
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Hey, Michelle, what's shaking?
Hey, Lindsay, not too much. How are you?
you good good what are we chatting about today on the show well lindsay how many episodes do you think is the most you could record in one day before you get tired oh my gosh michelle i mean we can only record so many episodes in a day i remember when i was getting ready to go on my two -month road trip around the u .s to build the connected communicator course i think we probably sat down and recorded like what do you think like maybe 12 episodes that's what i was that's exactly number I had in my head.
That's what I think it was.
Also, I know, you know, when I was pregnant and planning for being away.
So we would always do sometimes we have these marathons, right?
And you got to like order pizza and settle in, you know, it's like, but there's only so but you do hit a point where you do get a little tired for sure.
So on on on a regular basis, there's only so many we can do, Michelle, maybe it's like six, you know?
Yeah, yeah. So today we are talking about this because we have a great listener question about how to use only so much. And this is from YouTube.
From it says from Krishna.
So yeah, Krishna says, Hi, there.
I'm Krishna. Could you make an episode of on the phrase only so much used to imply limitation, and maybe impossibility as in the sentence, I can only do so much in a day.
Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your great work.
Thank you. Wonderful.
Such a good question, Krishna, and we appreciate you as a listener.
All right. Thank you so much. And we also want to thank other listeners today who have reviewed us on the iOS app.
Yeah, guys, if you leave a review anywhere for the Apple Podcast Store, the Spotify, Spotify, iOS app, Google app.
We will read your name out loud on the show.
So I'm going to say thank you to Akbar from Saudi Arabia, Kamal from Canada, Rajay Firak from, uh, who gave us five stars.
Not sure where that person's from.
Mehran Imam from Australia.
Huge thank you to all of you for leaving those reviews and guys leave us a review wherever you listen to the show.
All right. Yes, please do.
Thank you so much. Yeah.
Okay. Let's get into it.
Let's get into it. So again, as Krishna said, yeah, this is about limits.
It can't be done or it can't go on forever, right?
It's generally used when you have done a lot of something and you kind of need a break, right?
Whether it's about one day in particular or something that goes on for a period period of time yeah it's about energy limitations right yeah you can only do so much of something until you need to do something different just uh just break break the pattern right yes so what's the structure here let's give our struct the structure to our listeners so they can use this right so it's I can only x so much in a Y so I can only verb so much and then if you're going to add on.
You don't have to. You can always say, I can only record so much. Sometimes we just leave out the length of time, but it would be, I can only verb so much in a length of time, in a day, in a year, whatever it is.
The example that Krishna used in the question is very common. I can only do so much in a day.
This means that you can't do anymore.
You've done everything you You can.
You usually say this when you've really worked hard in a sense, you've exerted yourself and you are done.
You need to put your feet up, relax, have some dinner.
Um, what is that expression?
We overestimate what we can get done in a day or a week, but we underestimate what we can get done in a year.
Right? So usually, you know, every day this happens to me, I get to work and I think, okay, I have this long list of things.
I'm sure I can get these done.
Yeah. I can get all five of these huge things done.
And then the end of the day comes and I've done like one and a half of the things.
I way underestimated how much I could do in a day.
But when I have these strong goals at the end of a quarter or a year, I look back and think, look at what we've done.
We've done so much, you know?
Interesting. Yeah, that's an interesting way of looking at it.
I mean, so I guess it's just having that knowledge, you know, having that self -awareness of what What are your actual limits?
And also sometimes if we just say, I can only do so much in a day, it's kind of just, it's giving yourself that grace.
It's giving yourself, you know, I can only do so much, right?
You're giving yourself a little bit of kindness, I think.
I totally agree. That is such a key piece of this phrase.
We did an episode a long time ago called Give Yourself Some Grace.
You remember that one?
Yeah, I was just thinking about that, yeah.
Right, you're acknowledging what you've put forth already and you're saying you're kind of setting up a boundary actually yeah exactly now would this apply to other things like what we can consume maybe what do you think michelle yeah definitely so let's do some other examples so again we're just going to put in that verb and we're going to put in a length of time um so i can only drink so much coffee in a day or i get jittery yeah this is probably true for most people most people will hit a caffeine limit at some point right and when that caffeine when when you get over that hump you feel terrible
like you mean after you get jittery like on the way down yeah kind of well the jittery feeling and then yeah no I don't like the super jittery feeling I feel like then I need to drink a lot of water or something and just yeah it feels a little out of control right it's weird yeah I I don't get to that point very often, but every once in a while, if it happens, right, I'm at maybe a brunch and you have unlimited coffee and then you're like, Oh my gosh, I overdid it.
Right. Or we could say, I can only talk on the phone so much in one day.
Maybe you have a job that requires you to be on the phone.
Right. And you feel maxed out.
The last thing you want to do is get on the phone with a friend at the end of the day after work.
Right. Or that happens also with people on the computer, right?
You're sitting looking at the screen and then people I've had friends say they don't even want to open a computer they don't want to look at anything right that's how I feel sometimes I really can't you know I can't do like a meditation groups on online I want to go in person because after work you're so tired of being online right yeah yeah or I can only travel for business so much in a month right so maybe you're setting a boundary laundry, right?
I, you know, I can't do any more.
I'm done. That's a big one.
I know probably a lot of our listeners work in consulting, right?
In consulting, global consulting, you're sent all over the country and the world.
You know, you're in hotels, travel airport food.
You hit a limit real quick.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
That's true. And having that awareness is good.
So Lindsay, Lindsay, let's see, what is your limit on the following workouts in a week?
Okay. For me, probably five workouts in a week.
Feels good. That's a good week.
You know, that's good.
Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Michelle?
TV shows in an evening TV shows in an evening?
Ooh. It really depends on what it is like.
So now I'm watching the basketball playoffs.
So, you know, that's a two and a half hour event, right?
So I know, Oh, I know.
That's the whole evening.
But when it's not sports, I would say three.
Okay, three shows. Yeah.
So yeah, three one hour shows, would you say?
No, no, no, no, no, no. Three.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Do you ever do you ever start a like want to watch a show and you see that all the episodes are an hour and you just are like, I'm not doing an hour show.
That's like, yeah, there aren't that many half hour shows.
The only one I know is Ghost. TV has gotten much more like movies, right?
It's gotten much longer.
Yeah. We used to do sitcoms, you know, the sitcoms that were probably a total of 20 minutes of actually TV and then it was commercials, but you're sitting down for half an hour.
Right. Do you have, I have a question.
I'm just, this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm just curious.
Do you have the TV on in the background a lot, or are you more intentional?
We're sitting down to turn it on and usually it's off.
I would say it's a bit more intentional.
I did decide to quit CNN.
So around the election, I had CNN kind of on like sort of in the background in the evening, not all day.
I hate TV during the day.
I just don't like that idea.
It's weird to me. But CNN was on a lot in the evening.
And now and then I just, I tortured myself.
And now I'm like, I can't do it.
I just you hit a wall i have to stay away yeah i i i i'm the same way i just i had it on for a little bit last night and just immediately like oh no because they did it's like the talking circles i want to see investigative journalism i don't want to see frankly i don't want to see podcasters on tv telling me their opinion about politics like i don't care you know i want to know what did you what where did you go in the field who did you talk to what true journalism did you do you don't do that anymore as much yeah yeah it's so sad yeah so um i'm quitting cnn i am with you all right one more thing
lindsay restaurants in a week how many can you what's your limit good question probably two i mean yeah two yeah two maybe like a lunch and a dinner maybe like friday night dinner sunday lunch or something because to eat it does you do hit a limit right right, Michelle, and then you just get bored with eating out, right?
Yeah. Yeah. It should be special.
Um, it really, I think on the weekends, pretty much during the week we eat in the whole yeah.
I was, um, but on the weekends, definitely, you know, it's hard though with the weather getting nicer because I think I start to want to eat out more because they're like, Oh, it's a nice night.
Let's go to town and walk around.
And sure. Yeah. So that's where, that's where it gets That's tricky.
It's a tough one, but you want it to stay special.
I think the point here is like anything that you do too much loses its specialness.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's a good point.
Yeah. Let's talk about this more after the break.
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All right, Michelle.
So what else do we need to know here?
All right. So again, there doesn't have to be a time period.
And it can also be elaborated on.
so i just wanted to give some ideas of how that would look um so i can only eat so many cookies before my stomach starts to hurt again you're not saying in a day you know right but you you know it's kind of implied right yeah or we can only worry so much before we give up yep or he can only lift so much before his arms feel like jelly oh gosh you know what i say for this i say the the phrase max out I've maxed out on X like I've really maxed out on gym time this week I'm just gonna go for a jog outside yeah yeah yeah that's good yeah but I like that we're focusing in on one key phrase today I
love that so this yeah and then in more a general like sometimes you might hear people say there's only so much I can do right more broad yeah yeah this one to me is more about feeling resigned or honest about your limits right it's it's good to tell people what's going on with you um there's only so much i can do yeah and it kind of comes back there are personality types like have you done the enneagram before no okay so there are certain personality types like i'm a type four which is kind of like i don't know what it is it's um people that feel like sometimes different or something that's my
type but like there's a I don't know if it's type 7 or 9 I don't know which one it is but there's a personality that just wants to like fix fix things and like you might take on responsibility for fixing someone else and this is something that I feel like someone might say I've tried to help this person but there's only so much I I can do.
Interesting. You know?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Exactly. Um, all right.
A couple of role plays and then we'll start to head out for the day.
Okay. So, um, you are complaining to me about your job.
Okay, here we go. There we go.
My boss just wants me to constantly answer her calls, Michelle.
Wow. Yeah. I can only talk on the phone so much in one day.
I can understand that.
that. Yeah. So you're maxed out again.
You are hitting a limit, hitting your wall.
You know, we can do a whole episode about just follow -ups.
I mean, I mean other ways to say this, but I really just wanted, this is such a dynamic expression.
I just wanted to focus on it.
And it conveys so much. It really conveys maybe a sense of burnout.
You've tried to do a lot of this thing, but you're hitting that limit.
So again, I said, I said, my boss wants me to answer calls constantly.
and you said wow and i said yeah i can only talk on the phone so much in a day yeah yes that'd be now yeah a job where you're just on calls all day long like a sales position maybe yeah yeah tough hope you would have a good headset yeah good headset yeah yeah um or one more here we go we are at an ice cream shop we are not at work i love that that is much better michelle let's go go get ice cream.
Um, okay. Let's get a whole bunch of flavors to try.
Okay. Lindsay, but not too, too much. Oh, come on.
What? There's only so much ice cream I can eat in one sitting before I start to feel sick.
Oh, fine. Fine. I'll have to challenge you on that and see if that's true on my end.
I don't know. How many, how many do you usually get?
One scoop, two scoop.
What do you do? I actually do.
I do, I do kid, kid, kids cones.
I do like a kitty cone and I do the, um, the sugar cone so it's like a small scoop usually in most places that's a small scoop which is big which is already a lot of ice cream they're all i know it's also huge i don't know why i'm imagining you because i'm imagining you with your cute little kitty cone like you know when they would have like joe biden going out to get ice cream oh thank you wow no not that you're joe biden no that's a compliment he's a good guy yeah i'm just imagining not not not the way of like, Oh, you're just like, I guess I know you like ice cream so much. Yeah.
I like it because it's like, if you know, you love something, you just consume it in small amounts and then you don't get tired of it or it still stays special.
Right. It's like this fine art, you know?
Um, but you're here, you're trying to like, you're just trying to get me to have way too much ice cream, Lindsay.
And I said, there's only so much ice cream I can eat in one sitting before I start to feel sick.
It's true. Do you ever get the waffle cones?
Have you ever gotten a waffle cone in your life?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.
I think my kids got a waffle cone last week, but you're, you're peanut butter, right?
That's their flavor.
Peanut butter. No chocolate.
Well, if I can find chocolate and peanut butter, but these days, honestly, I feel like I just went for ice cream on Sunday.
It's hard to find chocolate flavors.
A lot of stuff is based on vanilla, like a vanilla base, because you can do more with vanilla in terms of adding flavors to it.
Yeah. And my son is just the same way now because I'm the like, I'm like, like, I don't really see a point to vanilla.
Um, but we were at my parents and they had these little cones and they had had like a chocolate outer shell, but inside was vanilla.
So once he realized that vanilla was what was inside.
Disappointing. Yeah.
He was like, Oh, I don't like vanilla.
That's a huge disappointment.
Yeah. I'm with, I'm with you on that one, Both of you.
Yep. Big disappointment, but some people really like vanilla.
I'm sure a lot of our listeners do.
It's, it's interesting.
So it sounds like a good poll question, right?
We all have our unique taste and we'll find out in the poll, which flavor is better.
Yes, exactly. Exactly.
All right. So I'm actually going to switch which episode that I think that our listeners should check out today.
We're going to go to episode 2424.
You'd strike me as someone who will love this episode good one to check out all right where should we leave our listeners today this is a very important thing to be able to communicate that you have hit a wall yes you've hit a wall you've hit it you have a boundary right mm -hmm so yeah this can be helpful from anywhere from business to ice cream it's just it's very very common so this listener Krishna really touched on something very important a very very useful expressions maybe one of the more you want one of the most useful we've you know one of our top 50 episodes right talking about our ex
this expression because you hear it everywhere and it's really good to use and also to understand others of when okay maybe we need to back off yeah the thing that's kind of counterintuitive but actually does make sense about connection is the more you communicate your boundaries as long as your boundaries are realistic of course yeah the more people will will respect you and connect with you.
Right. That's huge.
So really important skill for work and life and ice cream, of course, is like you said, Michelle, communicating boundaries, and you now have the skills to do it, guys.
Good stuff. All right.
All right. All right, Lindsay.
Well, this was so much fun.
Go get an ice cream and I'll talk to you later.
All right. Take care.
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