This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2341, Drama -Free English Learning.
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Do you tend to avoid confrontation and drama?
Today, get five ways to talk about drama and your style when you face it in English.
Hello, how's it going, Michelle?
How are you today? Yeah, I'm good, Lindsay.
How are you? Fantastic.
Fantastic. What are we getting into in All Airs English today?
yeah so Lindsey how do you feel when there's some sort of drama with someone in your life does do you ever find that drama happens to you yeah sometimes I try to stay away from drama but it does happen and it's awful it's yeah it's not good I don't feel good when there's drama how about you Michelle
oh it can be a very uncomfortable um I feel that it happened to me more with some of my college friendships and relationships.
I remember, I mean, one of my good, really good friends in college, sometimes there would somehow be a little tiff or something like that.
And it just left me, especially when it's somebody you care about.
Yes. It leaves you feeling like this terrible feeling in your stomach, right?
You feel it. It's terrible.
But honestly, now I feel that I don't have so much drama.
Yeah, no, I know exactly what you're saying, and you kind of can't get it off your mind sometimes.
Yes, 100%. Oh, my gosh.
Yes. How does this tie into today's topic, Michelle?
So today, we're going to talk about how to say that you don't like to have drama in your life.
Maybe it makes you uncomfortable.
This is really about describing yourself and your relationships.
And so I'm excited to talk about this today, because I have feeling that our all ears english listeners are relatively drama free what do you think lindsay i would i would hope so i would hope so i would imagine yeah i think that to some extent you can choose whether to engage in drama or not right
and how does this tie into today's topic michelle so today we're going to talk about how to say that you don't like to have drama in your life maybe it makes you uncomfortable this is really about describing yourself and your relationships relationships.
And so I'm excited to talk about this today because I have a feeling that our All Ears English listeners are relatively drama free.
What do you think, Lindsay?
I would hope so. I would hope so.
I would imagine. Yeah, I think that to some extent you can choose whether to engage in drama or not, right?
And some people choose more drama than others.
Yes, some people thrive on the drama, but that does not mean it sounds like it's not you either, right?
No, no, no. All right, guys, we want to remind you to hit follow wherever you're listening to All Ears English so that you never miss anything from us.
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All right. Yes. Good.
Okay. All right. So this is about really, I mean, if somebody does something wrong to you, you feel that someone has wronged you do you run toward the issue or do you run away from it or try to ignore it oh my gosh good question well hmm i guess somewhere in between but i generally i think i have a tendency
to avoid if i can if i can all of is in some ways it's good to be non -confrontational but you don't want to be a pushover right right um so exactly non -confrontational is our word to start out with today.
Basically meaning you don't like to approach these situations.
You don't run towards these situations.
If something happens to you and you should maybe talk to someone about it, you're kind of like, oh.
So what's a sample sentence there?
Okay, here's a sample.
I'm pretty non -confrontational, so I let a lot of things slide.
Yeah. Yeah. And I think a lot of people are this way.
I think we'll probably have an interesting poll at the end of the episode today to see how our our our listeners are by default right I'm looking forward to that so stick around to the end on Spotify if you're listening over there Michelle what would be another phrase for our listeners okay so this is a little
longer but it's it's very common stay away from the drama so when we talk about the drama I mean when we talk about drama in general we're talking really about plays and right things like things like that the drama um but when we use it in a different way it really just means the the conflict basically
some people thrive on that drama they like it it's interesting to them maybe they try and create it but a lot of times i mean we could do a whole episode on this word um but yeah so if you stay away from the drama you you don't get into that so you could say i try to stay away from the drama, it's not worth the stress
in my opinion. Yes.
And I agree with that because it does create a lot of stress for sure.
And then that leads into the next phrase, Michelle, don't like to start trouble.
Right. So, for example, I should say something to her, but I don't like to start trouble.
It just ends up being awkward for me.
Oh, not good. Not good.
Not good. All right, Michelle, we are back.
What would be the next phrase for our listeners?
Yeah. So we've talked about this one a little bit before, but this is pick your battles.
So this one fits in in a little bit of a different way, right?
This is how you decide if you want to confront somebody over something.
So you might say maybe somebody did something the first time and you say, I picked my battles, right?
But if it happens over and over, then you have to think about it.
You really have to pick and choose what is worth a confrontation.
What is worth a little bit of drama.
Oh sure. And I bet as a mom, you have to do this too, right?
When you decide if you're going to enforce a certain rule at certain times, I bet you're constantly picking your battles.
Right, Michelle? Constantly.
And as time goes on, I think, you know, and, and with two of them running around, I pick fewer and fewer battles because I just, I just don't want to hear the whining.
Yeah, that's understandable.
That makes sense. Oh my gosh.
I think pick your battles can also go for even if you're not assuming it's going to lead to a fight.
Let's say as a manager, if a manager wants to open up a certain conversation around something or decides not to, that could be picking your battle.
Even if it's not going to quote unquote be a battle, maybe it just will stir something up.
This phrase works for that too in the business world, right?
Yeah. Oh yeah. This is a really good one.
So you could say, I decided a long time ago to pick my battles.
Not everything is worth an argument.
Mm -hmm. Yes. A hundred percent.
Love that. Uh, all right, Michelle, what's another one?
Let's do one more. So this is keep the peace.
Okay. So I, you could say, I think I'll just try to forget it.
It's better to keep the peace.
Yes. I love that. Be a peacekeeper.
I think on the Enneagram there is an actual, one of those numbers is the peacekeeper.
What is your Enneagram personality?
Michelle, do you know?
No, you haven't done that before.
Okay. No, I have no idea.
what is yours uh type four i'm a type four yeah you have to take the quiz you'll have to take the quiz and come back where to go yeah yeah we'll do an episode on that in 2025 i'm excited yeah follow guys yeah what else michelle okay so lindsay what's your philosophy i mean again when deciding on a confrontation does
it do you think it depends more who it is or what it is or how many times things have happened like yeah yeah i think over the years i've learned that it takes a lot out on you if you're always reacting, if you're always, if every single thing you're letting get to you and you're reacting and you're
blowing up, um, that is actually more harmful to you.
So you, I do try to pick my battles more and more.
And is something really worth it?
Is something, has something become kind of insidious and it needs to be stopped or is it just a harmless thing that wasn't meant in a certain way?
Right. And then I would just let it go in that case.
Right. Right. Right.
Exactly. I think you have to think longterm how, you know, Did somebody just say a slightly wrong thing?
You also have to think about, and I think we've talked about this before, the intentions of the other person.
I like to try and assume the best about someone and assume that they, if something happened, maybe it wasn't about me, maybe they were having a bad day, things like that.
So just try and I don't want to be a pushover, but I also just don't want to have drama flying at me all the time.
and I've been pretty lucky recently that I don't knock on wood.
No, I think that's a great philosophy, Michelle.
That's the key to a happy life, right?
Exactly. So should we do a role play?
Yeah, let's do it. Here we go.
So here I am upset with my friend and I'm venting to you about this whole thing.
And this person is a mutual friend.
So we both know this person, right, Michelle?
Okay. Yes, exactly.
I just can't believe she did that.
Why don't you say something if you're upset?
I like to stay away from the drama.
I know you like to keep the peace, but it might be worth bringing it up.
I'll pick my battles.
It's not a big deal.
But you said you were upset.
I'm very non -confrontational.
I don't like to start trouble.
Okay. Okay. All right.
So we used some of our phrases here in our role play.
First of all, I said, I'd like to stay away from the drama when you asked me if I was going to do something, right?
Right. And then I said, I know you like to keep the peace, but it might be worth bringing it up.
So it sounds like we know each other pretty well.
So we're really connecting over your patterns.
And it sounds like I know you.
Right. And this is the connection skill of today's episode.
Right, Michelle? Yeah.
Being able to articulate that you know that someone tends to do X when they might want to try doing why.
Right. Right. So maybe I've noticed this pattern in you before and I'm like, Oh, Lindsay, don't let somebody walk all over you.
Right. Yeah. And that's comforting to have people in your life that have seen that you have the history with them so they can bring that up to you and challenge you.
Right. Yeah. Okay. What else?
Okay. Then you said, I'll pick my battles.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah. And then you said, i know you like to keep the oh sorry we already did that one i'll pick my battles and then i said i'm very non -confrontational i don't like to start trouble but the truth is it's going to be bigger trouble later right probably possibly yes yeah exactly exactly so um but yeah
very good so i guys also i think we want to do uh for today's episode we want to do a special spotify poll right Lindsey?
Yeah, I really think we should.
Should we ask our listeners, what is their style?
What should be the poll for today, Michelle?
We're going to wait and see.
We're going to wait and see, right?
We're going to wait and see.
Just take a look, and we are going to have a poll up for you and about your confrontation style.
Let us know. Definitely, if you're listening on Spotify, put that in, and then we will get to actually tell you the answers on the air in a future episode.
Sounds good, Michelle.
What's another episode our listeners could check out right now?
Okay, guys, head on over to episode 2333 was vocabulary that is worth the trouble.
I love it. And what's our takeaway?
Where should we leave our listeners?
Yeah, this is a huge connection skill.
It's also good because it shows that you have knowledge about yourself.
You've done some self -reflection.
What type of person are you and why?
But it also gives you that opportunity to share that with your friends or to have people notice things about you if they know if they know you well so what else do you think lindsay anything else you want to say yeah i think that's just it i mean there's a great way to deepen a connection if you're
pretty good friends with someone and you want to deepen that connection you could mention that you've been noticing it could be a little bit bit of a risk and a friendship but you could mention that you've been noticing certain things that could bring a friendship to a next level potentially yep so these
little places that you would need to do that right or of course describing yourself it's always good to describe your go -to mode and who you are and how you deal with these situations very good all right well we wish you a very drama free day um and hope everything is peaceful in your life and yeah have a have a good
one guys great michelle so guys hit that follow button on all ears english it is january it is the time to build new learning habits.
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All right. Bye. Okay.
Bye, Michelle. Bye.
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