This is an All Ears English Podcast episode 2279.
When should you use nicknames in English?
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Do you go by a nickname?
Today we answer a listener question about how to navigate this complicated cultural topic in English.
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Hey Aubrey. How are you?
I'm great. How are you, Lindsey?
Great. Aubrey, do you have a nickname that you go by?
Growing up, my family called me Ab, just Ab.
But I never, I rarely tell anybody, like call me Ab.
It was like a very familiar.
My brothers and sisters would call me Ab, just kind of for short because Aubrey is not really.
Some people who are named Aubrey go by Brie.
Sometimes there's, but it's not a super, it's not a name that like, oh, everybody who has this name goes by a nickname, right?
Right. For sure. What about you?
It's one of those. Yeah, a lot of people call me, well, a lot of people that are close to me call me Liz.
So my dad, my partner sometimes, close friends, but sometimes someone that I'm not as close to will call my lens and I, it kind of pushes me back in and go, whoa, that's weird.
Yes. That's what we're talking about today because that does happen where someone will be sort of more familiar than you're expecting or ready for and it does kind of throw you off and this is so cultural.
Like sometimes if it's someone who's from another part of the country, another part of the States or another country, then for them, it's very different, you know, how formal to be or how informal with nicknames.
This is a great topic today.
I'm so excited. So we're going to start off with a question from Mauro.
Is that right? Mauro from Brazil, I believe, or virtually from France living in Brazil, which will matter later because he gave us some interesting cultural insight about this.
Okay. I'm excited to hear from him.
So here we go. He says, hi Aubrey, what's shaking?
So he's picking up on our greeting that we have to tell you.
Listen to the podcast.
I'd like to commend you a commend all there's English for the Stellar podcasts.
Great episode on shout out.
Well, thank you Mauro.
That is fantastic. We love that.
You love the show. Absolutely.
All right. He says, I have a question for you.
Do you guys have nicknames between yourselves?
Would it be impolite to call Jessica Jess?
If I met her for the first time, for example?
All right. It's a good question.
I mean our list of the truth is our listeners might know us better than some people in our lives.
I know this is it does make it different when you're listening to a podcast, you know, you start feeling like, you know, someone we're sharing so many details about our personalized.
If you listen to IELTS energy, you might hear me call Jess sometimes because we've become friends.
I know her so well and Jessica shortens really easily to Jess, right?
Right. Right. Right.
It's true if and part of what I answered Mauro right away was, you know, someone you haven't met before, even if you've heard them a lot on a podcast, you would still want to use their full name until they tell you like, call me Jess, at least right United States.
Wouldn't you agree, Lindsay?
I a hundred percent agree Aubrey.
It's about getting permission in a sense because it is a pretty intimate thing, especially in the US.
I think you're a hundred percent right, guys.
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So let's dive in. We're going to share three things you should think about when deciding whether to use someone's nickname and first here is the relationship, right?
And this is where it's a little tricky.
You may feel like you are close with someone you have a relationship if you've listened to them on a podcast for years, but really you have to think about that's one way, right?
Unfortunately, we don't have that relationship yet with you unless you come to Open Conversation Club, then maybe we're getting to know you and we'll start using nicknames, but you have to know someone well enough that you're familiar in order to start using a nickname.
Yeah, I would say so for sure.
So considering the relationship that is the number one thing to keep in mind and definitely this varies across cultures.
So what would we say then Aubrey?
What is some language here that we know?
So for example, if you were to meet Jessica for the first time, even if you've heard me call her Jess a bunch of times, you would still say Jessica is so nice to meet you and then if she said call me Jess, absolutely the next time you chatted.
You could call her Jess, right?
This is big where a lot of people go by a nickname all the time.
My daughter's name is Georgia.
She goes by Gigi and that's the first thing she'll say to you.
If you call her Georgia, she'll say call me Gigi and that's different, right?
It even if you don't have this very close relationship, a lot of people use a nickname more than their name, but they will tell you that.
Right. And I think as you said earlier, some names shorten a lot better and more commonly, right?
Jennifer Jen, Jessica Jess.
Whereas my name, it's less likely to be shortened, right?
Michelle, right? Yeah, so it's not always if they do say call me this, call me that it's not necessarily saying that it's the right closeness.
It could just be okay.
It's easier to say this, right?
That's the second thing we're talking about is the actual name and what the person wants to be called.
So Maro actually pointed out we exchanged a couple emails and he was saying, you know, clearly, there are a lot of names that are more prone to nicknames like Michael will often go by Mike.
Oh my gosh, yes, William often goes by Bill.
There are a lot of names that really it's very common for them to use a certain nickname.
But like you said, Lindsay Aubrey, it's not as obvious what the nickname would be.
Right or Jonathan is rarely Jonathan.
It's you know, 99 % of the time.
It's John. Yeah, Christopher Chris often will shorten a lot of those names.
Yeah, a lot of guys names.
I think are more maybe more likely to be nicknamed not sure.
Yeah, and they're interesting how some names like Elizabeth is a good example.
There are so many options for nicknames.
They might go by my sisters name is Elizabeth.
She goes by Liz to most everyone.
She knows but us her family siblings called her Lizzie, but then some people who are named Elizabeth will go by Beth or Betty or something else.
So you can't always assume what the nickname will be.
So that's another reason to wait and find out what they ask you to call them or listen to hear what their what other close friends are calling them.
That will make a difference.
You know what the name is and what someone has chosen to be called.
Yeah, there's a lot here.
There's a lot of contacts a lot of culture a lot that we have to know and then that is number three Aubrey culture.
What do we have to know about culture?
How could our advice be a little different in different places?
Exactly right. The number one and two that we gave you you know relationships and what names they might go by will be different depending on the country and even within the country.
This might be different on the East Coast or in the south than what I'm used to right.
So wherever you're living, you'll need to take that into account and this was interesting.
Mauro let me know. I asked you know, what is this like where you live?
Do people use nicknames?
Would they call someone by a nickname even if they're meeting them for the first time and he said here in Brazil, we have a tendency to be more casual.
So for example, I may be introduced to a friend of a friend straight with their nickname.
Okay, and then he said I even have a boss.
I call him by his nickname and then he said but that's because we used to work at the same level.
So they already have this relationship.
So that's interesting.
But then he says on the other hand, part of my family lives in France and it's unthinkable to use nicknames there unless there's a lot of intimacy.
So you can see that's even more extreme than the US like it would be offensive to call someone a nickname unless you know them very well.
Wow. Unthinkable is a very strong word, isn't it?
So clearly I we know this now when we go to France.
We'll be careful. Good to know.
Good to know a little vocab note here in that message Mauro had asked he said I call him by his nickname and then he wanted to know if that phrase is correct and it's interesting because that's very formal to say I call you by your name.
I call you by your nickname instead.
We'll usually say they go by he goes by Mike.
She goes by this maybe would say I call him Mike or I use his nickname Mike, but this phrasal verb go by I think we use the most often in the US.
Yeah, yeah, interesting interesting.
Okay, this is good stuff.
There's one side point that comes to mind here Aubrey and it's around kind of appropriateness of certain nicknames as you get older into the business world, right?
I think especially with guys nicknames you take something like you have the name Thomas right shortened to Tom.
But when you're a kid in the US, it might be Tommy Tommy, but I know a couple of guys who have taken Tommy into their working world and it makes me roll my eyes a little bit childish.
I think it sounds a little childish.
So thinking about as you become a professional obviously like the more straightforward nicknames.
I think you know, Jess Jessica makes sense Jen Jennifer that makes sense but maybe like a Jenny right maybe a little Susie juvenile like Susan who went by Susie as a child.
So yeah, this happens for men and women.
It's interesting to think about do you keep that childhood nickname or do you once you're, you know working?
Do you go with the longer more formal version?
Yeah, and I also think there's a gender element here too because I think men are more likely to get away with that taking the boy nickname and getting away with it in the working world than women.
Right. At least in the US, right?
There's a lot we could do here Aubrey, but maybe we'll dive into that side of things another day.
So we're going to take a quick break and come back with a roleplay.
Yeah, all right Aubrey.
So here we are talking about new hires at our company.
Exactly. I'll start us out.
Have you met Michael Adams?
He was hired last week.
Yes. He said he goes by Mike.
Oh good to know. What about Vicki?
Did you meet her? Is that Victoria?
Yes, I guess she goes by Vicki.
Nice. And as I was writing out this role play I had put in a couple of those other options and then they just sounded so off to me so formal.
I think I almost always say go by she goes by Vicki goes by Mike.
Do you use any of these other options Lindsay?
No, I think goes by is perfect.
That's why I'm glad we're doing this role play because we are forced to think about it in a real English way and this is what we're giving you guys today.
I think I originally had she uses the nickname Vicki now I'm like, oh that sounds so strange.
Just say she goes by Vicki.
Yes, I love it. All right.
So there it is, right?
So goes by is if you take away anything today take away that he goes by X he goes by Y and maybe go for Mike, not Mikey.
Yeah, right exactly.
Tom not professional.
Yeah, there's one other interesting thing that came up in this role play.
I thought was that if you have met someone like you know, a new co -worker just like in this role play and they have told you oh call me Mike.
I feel like this is such a considerate.
It's such a thoughtful thing to do to share that with another co -worker if they say oh have you met Michael?
Oh, he said he likes to go by Mike I and then here's the Would you then when you go and meet Mike do you think you would still call him Michael until he tells you call me Mike?
It's a good question, right?
There's going to be some moments of awkwardness here, right?
Especially on the part of in my case if I were in that position feels awkward.
I probably would still go with Michael until he corrected me personally.
I think I was too. Maybe I would say like, oh, Lindsey told me you go by Mike right and let him correct me or not right instead of just calling a Mike like we're old friends.
I actually like your idea Aubrey because that creates a connection moment.
Maybe it goes into it when I was a kid.
They called me this and then they call.
Oh, where'd you grow up?
And now you're building a relationship.
Okay, wait. Yes, right whenever we have a chance to bond about something from childhood or something personal about this especially with co -workers where those occasions are a little more few and far between that's good.
Definitely going to help us connect.
What a good episode today and such a rare topic, but I'm so happy that our listener Mauro asked it guys.
If you have specific questions like this one, be sure to send them in to support at all ears English .com.
All right, good stuff.
Aubrey you have a nice day.
Awesome. You too, Lindsay.
Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to all ears English.
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