This is an All Ears English Podcast, episode 2265.
When should you stop talking?
It's a whole thing.
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With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
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Lindsay can't keep her plants alive, and Michelle has had some crazy trips to target with her kids.
But do we want to know the details?
Usually not. Today, get a super trendy way to cut yourself off before you go into too much detail.
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Connection, not perfection.
Hello, Michelle. How are you today?
I'm good, Lindsay. How are you?
Fantastic. Fantastic.
What are we getting into today for our listeners?
Yeah, Lindsay, what is something that you find complicated?
Well, for me lately, Michelle, gardening has been quite complicated.
So we've gone through three rounds of trying to replace our plants and flowers in front of our house.
But the problem is our house is south facing.
Well, probably the core problem is we don't actually know how to garden.
You don't have a green thumb.
Yeah. So we've tried going.
I don't we don't have a green thought.
And I've tried going to Home Depot three or four times.
It's been a whole thing, Michelle, trying to ask the store, the people at the store.
What does this plant need?
We bought the wrong plants for the wrong environment.
Oh, no. And it's sad.
We'll walk out. Oh, God.
Another round of plants just died.
It's a whole. It's a whole thing.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm is it something you think that you are going to want to learn more about?
Or I know. Well, yes, I would like to.
But I think we're just going to go to succulents at this point.
But even the succulents I worry about.
Yeah. Yeah. I can't have a hard time.
I don't even have I don't have any plants.
But like I do like flowers from the grocery store.
Yeah. Sometimes it's like they can survive the Arizona desert, but can they survive the front of my house?
I'm not sure. It's funny.
So, guys, today we're going to talk about a modern and fun way to express that something is complicated or tricky or complex.
And you may have picked up on what this is.
Lindsay, what is the expression?
Yeah, I said it multiple times with emphasis.
It's a whole thing.
Or I also said a few times it's been a whole thing, which is essentially saying the same thing, just using a different grammar tense.
Right. Right, right, right.
So I'm excited for this episode.
This is a very natural and trendy thing to say.
I would I don't think that I necessarily said this, you know, 20 years ago or it's trendy for sure.
Yeah, right. Yeah. So, guys, also head on over.
We did episode 2239 was love learning English expressions.
That's what we're here for.
So learn more over there.
Yeah. Yeah, we do hear this a lot.
And I love covering trendy language for our listeners.
It's like a snapshot in time, you know?
Yeah, very cool. It's very cool.
Right, right. And also, as you said, you could say it's a whole thing or it's been a whole thing.
You could also say it was a whole thing.
It was a whole thing when you're telling the story.
So, okay, what does this mean?
Let's get a little bit more into it.
It means basically there's more to it than you think or than it seems.
It's not just the fact that I can't keep a plan alive in front of my house.
It's the fact that I've tried to go to Home Depot and I've tried to ask the people for help and trying to watch YouTube videos.
It's more complex than it seems, complicated, tricky.
We've been maneuvering and trying different things, right?
Right. And maybe it's not worth explaining.
So this might be a good way to say you don't want to go into all the details.
I mean, maybe you feel somebody might not be interested in that, but maybe somebody is, right?
It depends, but this is a very versatile expression.
Let's do some examples.
We have a few mini role plays.
Yeah, let's do it. And then we'll talk a little bit, but yeah, there's nothing.
I just want to say there's nothing what you touched on there, Michelle, about not wanting to go into it.
There's nothing more important than not being an over sharer, right?
Especially if not so much you share something that's taboo.
It's more you don't want to bore people.
Right. Yes, exactly.
Yeah. Sometimes it can be hard because you might find something to be really interesting.
I think we're all guilty of that.
I think, yeah, it's just you get all excited and then you realize no one's listening.
No one's going on and on about that.
So this sign of a good communicator can sense that and maybe you'd cut yourself off right away and say, oh, it's just a whole thing.
So what's up with you?
What's going on in your life?
Tell me about you, right?
Yes, exactly. All right.
So let's see how we could use this.
Okay. So what happened with you the other day?
Why'd you leave? Oh, Lindsay, I'll tell you later.
It's a whole thing.
Okay, got it. So here I understand.
I'm not going to, maybe we're at, I don't know, coffee or at a restaurant.
I'm not going to ask you anymore.
Maybe there's other people around.
Right, right, right.
A little privacy thing.
Maybe it's like, oh, I'll call you later.
Well, you know, well, yes, I maybe I know that you'll be interested in it.
It is an interesting story, but not for this time.
So that's another good, right?
It's a whole thing.
I'll tell you later, right?
Very useful phrase, actually.
Very useful phrase.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's do another one.
How do you punch the code in?
I can teach you, but I can also just do it.
Trust me. It's a whole thing.
Okay. So what am I saying here?
You're saying it's just not worth explaining.
Maybe it's something at work and I'm not going to ever need to know how to do it again.
So you know how to do it.
And if I do it, it's going to take a long time to explain it.
So you're just going to do it.
So you're saying it's a whole thing.
Yeah, it's a one time thing.
Yeah, totally. I love that.
Yeah, different uses here.
And then what's our third example?
Did you hear what happened with Tracy and Tom at the wedding?
No. What? Oh, it was a whole thing.
Do tell. Well, here we're kind of gossiping, aren't we?
A little bit. Yeah.
Yeah. So it sounds like in this case, what I'm saying, what you're saying is there was some kind of drama at the wedding.
There's a story there.
Right, right, right.
There's more to it.
It's complex. There's something to discuss.
There's something to share.
So it's interesting because, again, it's about reading the room.
Are you going to go more into something?
Or are you using it was a whole thing to cut something off forever?
Are you using it to say, I'll tell you later?
It's just a lot you could do here.
Oh my gosh, I love this.
The more we're talking about this today, the more I like this phrase because it has so many practical uses for our listeners.
And I think one of the most important ones could be actually at work for this.
Using this at work because you need to know what are topics that you shouldn't go into.
There's the problem of boring people.
Yes. But then at work, maybe there's more of the taboo topics that we're getting a little too personal and realizing you're starting to go into it and then you stop.
You catch your side.
Right. Share with coworkers.
The whole thing. It's just kind of saying, okay, I'm cutting myself off.
Yes. Okay. That's enough.
Okay. It's all the thing.
It's a, it reminds me of yada, yada, yada on Seinfeld.
Oh yeah. I vaguely remember that or it's just kind of like your yada, yada, yada to avoid having to say something, maybe, maybe you're hiding something.
Maybe you realize it's not interesting.
But yeah, so in a way it reminds me of that.
Interesting. This is great.
All right. So we're going to take a quick break right now, Michelle.
Right. Take a break and then come back.
All right. Yes. Okay.
We are back. There are other ways to say this and we can get into this a little more with a role play at the end.
You guys have plenty of role plays in today's episode.
I love that. Oh yeah.
A role play episode.
This is all about context.
So yeah, yeah. Yes.
Now it's complicated.
It could be another one, but I do feel that when I say it's complicated, it could signal the thing is a little heavier.
It's complicated. It's complicated, right?
Remember on Facebook when people used to have their relationship status.
Oh my gosh. It's complicated.
What? Like, what does that mean?
What do you mean? No, totally.
And then I think it could.
Yeah. So it's complicated.
I'm not sure how to start, right?
Maybe you asked me to explain the nuances of my family's finances or something, right?
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, it's complicated.
I'm not sure how to start.
So you're kind of saying either you don't want to go into it or it's personal or it's right.
Or could it also just be that it's too technical or you just don't want to?
Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well, right?
For the punching the code in example.
Yeah. And I'm asking you, Oh, so how do I do this?
And you might just say, Oh, it's complicated.
Kind of, you know, I'll, you know, I can just do it for you.
Yeah. So again, this is not, it's hard to find a complete one to one equal expression of it's a whole thing.
It's a, it's really a special one, but we're giving you ones that have a similar idea.
Love it. And then another one.
It's a bit of a mess.
It's a bit of a mess, right?
Don't we say that? Oh yeah.
I can say that about the plants out front.
I mean, you should have seen how the whole presentation just fell apart.
It was a bit of a mess.
Oh, that's not good.
That's not good. No, no, no, that is not good.
Okay. Or the last one is it's hard to explain.
Yeah. Right. Also just more straightforward.
Right. Exactly. It's hard to explain.
I can show you tomorrow.
So these are good. You're right.
There's no one to one match here.
These are good. They kind of broadly mean the same thing, but it's a whole thing is just a little more fun because it's trendy and it just, I don't know.
It's trendy. It's cool.
It's fun. It is fun.
It is fun. When you realize you're the opportunity to say it.
I realized that I was saying it.
This was, I came up with this idea because I heard myself say it and I heard other people say it and it's a whole thing.
Yeah, because we get so wrapped up in our own lives, which is fine.
But what's going on in our lives that may feel complicated, may just be boring to someone else.
And it's an opportunity to actually use interesting pronunciation.
That's why I like, it's a whole thing.
It's a whole thing.
It's a whole thing.
It could also be used in a humorous way if you're sharing a story.
For example, I've been trying to, I've been having to get some things at the store with my kids and I think I'm done going to the store with them.
You're done. Totally done.
I think I'm done for a little while.
So I could say, oh, I took them to Target and it was a whole thing.
It almost gives somebody, it's a little bit humorous.
It gives you a thing to imagine.
If I tell you, I took them to Target and it was a whole thing.
You can imagine maybe they were knocking things down.
Maybe they were wanting to buy everything.
Maybe all of the above.
Let's just say, if you said that to me, I took my kids to Target today and it was a whole thing.
I wouldn't think you had a normal shopping, simple shopping day and you got your things, you went home, everything was perfect.
No, I would at least know something happened.
I think that's a really good off the rails.
I think that's a really good point.
If you're using that in your story, it's saying it was a whole thing.
It's not just when things are routine.
No, no, no, no, no.
I love it. It is funny.
It also grades a little.
The other connection piece is it gives people a chance if they do want to know.
Maybe you're assuming they don't want to know because they probably don't want all the details, right?
But it gives people a chance to say, well, what happened?
Tell me more. I have kids too and I'm in the same place.
My kids are the same age, so I want to know how you handled that, right?
Right. Yes, exactly.
Right. That's good.
You're signaling that there could be something interesting to say and maybe you're testing the waters a little bit.
Kind of. I would say it's not necessarily the primary goal of this phrase.
It's more to cut it off and not go into it, but it is a way that you could keep it short and people could come back and say, tell me what happened.
I mean, what happened?
I want to know. Yeah.
All right. So we are friends here in this role play having lunch.
All right. Here we go.
So how did you end up being 40 minutes late?
Oh, Lindsay, it was a bit of a mess.
Why? The train was delayed, but then it was too crowded to get on.
It was a whole thing.
Well, couldn't you take the bus instead?
It's complicated. It's not that close to me and it's hard to explain.
Okay. And so then maybe we'll move on because to go into all those details, it's an overshare, Like what am I like?
What am I? Oh, and the bus stopped on this street and the turned on this street.
It's an overshare. It's an overshare in your social life, but then it's definitely an overshare at work because if you're holding up a meeting, getting started, I mean, this is real, right?
This might be a conversation you would have with coworkers at the beginning, but if you're going into all these details and the meeting is trying to start, yeah, you got to cut yourself off right there.
I think this is one of the most important things is to be aware of when to stop talking.
Yes. A hundred percent.
I really do. I think it's an art and I think we're all guilty of missing it sometimes.
A hundred percent. I certainly am.
And it's something to just think about.
And so this expression, it's a whole thing.
It really gives you a tool there to kind of get out of it.
I love that. I feel like we're going to be able to get a title out of that concept.
When to stop talking today.
See what the title is for today.
Stop talking with all ears.
That's hilarious. All right.
So let's go to the roleplay.
Not really a purpose.
We want you to talk more, right?
We want you to talk.
Well, sometimes there is a time to stop talking.
Yes. Maybe we should do it now and get to the role.
Maybe our listeners are listening and they're like, you guys, you're doing it.
Get it done. You're doing it already.
It's a whole thing.
So all right. So you said, oh, Lindsay, it was a bit of a mess.
So you're already trying to keep it short.
You're already realizing you don't want to go into the details, right?
Right. But then you asked me.
So you opened the door to it, but it just doesn't sound like I read.
It's like, I just know this isn't a great story.
The train was delayed, but then got too crowded to get on.
It was a whole thing.
Yeah. And then I said, couldn't you take the bus instead?
And he said, oh, it's complicated.
And you're also kind of saying, and you wouldn't be interested, right?
That's basically what you're saying.
And that's fine. That's the point.
I said, it's not that close to me.
And it's hard to explain.
I'm basically saying, please, we're done with this conversation.
Yeah, let's move on.
There's things to talk about.
Right. It's not going to be something you're actually interested in.
And I'm telling you, and you're being very nice by offering to hear more.
You want to talk about it.
But I'm just saying, Lindsay, really.
Yeah. Please. 100%.
Move on. Move on. So let's move on ourselves today.
Let's move on. Let's take away, Michelle.
Where should we leave our listeners today?
Okay. Well, this is very versatile, very trendy as well.
This is about self -awareness.
When to know to stop talking.
When to kind of cut yourself off.
There's so much to this.
There really is. So choose a couple of the ways that we discussed today.
And just try it out once or twice and see how it feels.
This is a high level, very fine communication skill, right?
It's about being a better communicator in our native languages and in English.
So guys, try this out.
Let us know how it goes.
I am excited to hear from our listeners on little experiments on how this went.
If they use this phrase, so fun.
All right. Well, this was fun, Lindsay.
And we will talk to you guys in the next episode.
Take care. Bye. Bye.
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