This is an All-Ears English Podcast Episode 2178.
Basketball in English Part 3.
Not into sports? How to keep the conversation going.
Welcome to the All-Ears English Podcast.
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Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent
by focusing on connection, not perfection.
With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon,
the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan,
the New York Radio Girl,
coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week,
go to allyearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe.
In this Part 3 of our Sports and English series,
we answer the question,
what happens if someone asks you about sports,
but you don't care about sports?
If you pivot to the right questions in this moment,
it can open up massive connection.
Learn what those questions are today.
Hi, Lindsay, how are you?
I'm feeling fantastic, Michelle. How are you? How's it going?
I'm good. I'm good.
Lindsay, do you think that it's fair that sports stars
get paid so much money?
Oh, I don't know a ton about sports, to be honest.
I'm not super into them.
But I guess it's, I guess, I don't know.
It's sort of the free market.
And so if the market demands that,
then I guess I'm okay with it.
I don't know.
I mean, it would be great if they would donate
some of their money to charity,
but I guess if that's what that industry creates,
and if that's what they demand,
then that's what they need to be paid.
Yeah. So, yeah.
No, I think that that's a good point,
because a lot of times you'll hear people say,
oh, but the certain jobs should get paid more money.
And it is unfortunate that certain jobs
don't get paid more money, absolutely.
But what you said about the free market is,
if they, you know, if they're able to make
this much money on them, they should, I don't know.
It's a tough question.
It's a tough question.
It is what it is.
Yeah.
It is what it is.
And then maybe people can train to be athletes
if they want to do that or do something else.
I think, yeah, it's a hard question.
It's a good question.
It is. Maybe that'll be our poll.
It's a question for today, who knows?
Maybe, well, maybe it will.
So today, guys, we are going to be talking about sports again.
So we are doing the third and final episode
of our series about sports.
So the first one was about basketball vocabulary.
That was on the March 23rd episode of All Years English.
That was called basketball in English part one,
vocabulary for the game.
And then Lindsay, we did a second episode,
but was it on All Years English?
It was actually not Michelle.
It was over on business English podcast, Bialers English.
And that was episode 236 of Business English
called Basketball in English part two,
how to socialize in the company box.
Love that episode.
That was fun.
So that was real.
Yes. And now we are back over on All Years English
for the final episode of the series.
So we are going to get to that in just a second.
But guys, on February 14th, we did episode 2148.
We did a Spotify key poll.
Guys, we've been doing these key polls, and they're so much fun.
If you listen on Spotify, you can answer questions.
And certain ones, we announced the answers on the show.
So Lindsay, what was the key poll for this one?
Yeah, we talked about mingling that episode
was how to mingle with an expert at a party in English.
And then we talked about, is your natural tendency
to stay in your group or is it to branch out?
Talk to as many people as possible, right?
And we asked you, at a party, do you mingle with others
or do you stick to who you know?
And we have some very definitive results in this poll.
Michelle.
They are the results.
So 40% of those who answered the poll
said they like to mingle with others at a party.
And 60% like to stick to who they know.
So yeah, interesting.
Yeah, that is interesting.
And I think definitely when the party is in another language,
it can be another challenge.
In our second language, it can be another level of challenge
for sure.
Right, Michelle?
Definitely.
Yeah, absolutely.
So Lindsay, why is sports such a great way to bond with people?
We spoke about this a little bit in the first episode.
Yeah, you know, I've been thinking about this a lot,
especially because we just had the Super Bowl back in February.
I ended up waiting in line for takeout at a restaurant,
like a takeout restaurant on Super Bowl Sunday
for like an hour.
We're kind of restaurant.
It was a wing.
Everyone want a winghouse.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, putting people in my house,
so I had to go pick them up.
And just the TV was on and just, there's something about it.
You know what I think it is?
It's the tribal, it's the tribalism.
It's the tribal mentality.
There's not many things that bring us back to our tribes,
which is how we evolve those human beings.
And sports is one of them.
It's like us versus them.
It's a very tribal evolutionary thing.
It's in our brain stem, in our most basic brain.
Part of our brain.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
I mean, just last night, we needed to get some advice
from a friend.
We were talking to a friend on the phone
and he was giving us some professional advice.
And then I, out of nowhere, he mentioned something
about the Nick's missing shots.
And I was in the background now really listening,
but I was watching the next game.
And then I said, I know.
And then we started talking about it.
And one of the things is that Dan is not really a sports person.
He knows more about football than I do.
But we kind of have a joke that sometimes, you know,
people will talk to him and start to think
that assume that he's into sports.
And then he just has this look on his face.
And then he looks at you.
I love that.
I love that.
And then you jump in there and have the conversation.
Oh, I have a basketball ball.
But I will say that he's becoming quite the Nick's fan.
Now that we're watching it more,
the funny thing is that our friend,
when he was talking to us yesterday, he was,
he said, oh, Michelle.
And Dan said, no, you don't only direct this to Michelle.
I am also now a Nick's fan.
And he started throwing out the player's names
and commenting at our friend, that he was very proud of Dan.
So yeah, it connects people in so many ways.
But it's OK to tell someone you're not into sports.
It can be awkward if someone assumes you're into it.
But the key today that we want to express, guys,
is that you don't want to just completely cut off
the conversation unless you don't want to talk to that person.
But a really good way to just throw the connection out
the window would just be to say you don't like it and then
don't like it.
Yeah.
Yeah, you don't have to lose the connection.
That's the point of today's episode, right?
You can morph the conversation, you can move the conversation
in ways that you kind of direct it,
and you find that connection initially.
You don't have it because the person was looking for it
with you around sports.
It wasn't there.
And so now it's your job to kind of find another place to connect.
OK.
Interesting, Michelle.
I'm excited for today's episode.
Yeah, me too.
OK.
Let's get into it, Michelle.
So what can we do then to say that we're not into sports
and redirect it to true connection?
So first we're going to go over a way
to say that you're not into sports.
OK?
OK.
Of course, this could be used for other things as well, guys.
So if you love sports and you think, oh, I don't
need today's episode, well, think of something you don't like.
And you can use similar expressions.
So the first one is to say you're not
much of a sports fan or a sports person.
So you can say either one.
So let's do a little role play.
All right.
So hey, did you catch the game last night?
I'm not much of a sports person.
All right.
So you're also speaking your truth here, which is good.
Yeah.
Right?
Yes.
Instead of pretending you're something you're not,
you don't want to start lying about it or just.
I mean, that can never go well because then what happens,
the person tries to be closer friends with you.
And then they eventually realize you don't care.
Eventually realize you were lying.
So don't build a relationship on lies.
That's never a good plan, right?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Now this one, this next one is really direct.
And also a little judge.
This is Judge Magi.
Yeah, exactly.
Judge you were.
Yeah.
Lindsay, yeah, you had that reaction.
So this one is to say, I never really
got the point of sports.
Now you don't want to use this.
If this is controversial, this is a controversial one.
This one might actually be better for someone else who also
doesn't like sports.
Right.
All right.
Once you realize that the other person also
feels the same way, is that what you mean?
Exactly.
Right?
So it would both say, I don't know.
I never really got the point of something.
Yes, I agree.
I wouldn't necessarily say if someone's wearing a jersey
and have their face painted with the logo of the team,
don't come up to them and don't answer their question
by saying, I never really got the point of sports.
Yeah, you're really going to break the connection right there.
That's, I mean, because that's a little insulting, actually,
it is, it is.
It is.
So say this for someone else doesn't like it either.
So here we go.
I haven't watched a basketball game in forever.
Yeah, I never watched sports.
Honestly, I never really got the point of sports.
So clearly that first person, you in that case, you have maybe,
I'm not exactly sure if you don't like basketball,
but it sounds like you're not watching the games.
So I feel a little bit safer saying,
I never really got the point of sports.
Right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So that's good.
Then here we go.
The next one is I'm not into sports.
So this is also pretty direct.
All right.
But again, we're going to be showing you how you can keep
a connection going.
Keep the connection.
Yeah.
So I say, hey, want to come to the game on Monday?
Sorry, I'm not into sports.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
So another one, which feels very modern and slangy,
is not my thing.
Not my thing.
Not my thing.
Hey, Lindsay, did you watch the hockey game?
Hockey's not my thing.
Yeah.
And you know what?
This could also be useful.
You could totally be into sports, but just a different sport.
Right?
You use this.
I know a lot of people that love, like my niece plays hockey
in the like the 10 year old league.
And they love hockey, but they're not into baseball.
Right?
So, hey, I'm not really into baseball, but I love hockey.
Right?
That works too.
It's not my thing.
Baseball's not my thing, but I love hockey.
Yeah.
And then the other thing is I think sports is special
in the way that you don't have to be into sports
to enjoy going to a game.
I mean, part of enjoying sports is if you go to a game
and join the atmosphere.
I mean, Lindsay, when we did our urban adventure,
I think you went to a Red Sox game with me and the students.
Yeah.
Must be more all of our longtime fans and listeners.
We all went to the Red Sox game together.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
Part of the fun of sports is the communal aspect of it,
going to see a live game.
There's just something there that's very special.
It doesn't mean you have to know all the stats,
all the information to like it.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Just entertainment.
It's another form of entertainment.
It's another entertainment.
Be there for the beer and the hot dog.
That would be fine.
Yeah.
Why not?
With the tailgate.
The tailgate.
Right.
So Lindsay, what can you say if you want to just
continue the conversation?
You don't want it to flop.
You don't want to just say, I don't like sports.
Black.
Right.
Because just because you're not into it
doesn't mean we don't want to show curiosity
and learn about the person.
Because that's how we direct toward connection.
So you've said, hockey's not really my thing.
So what's your favorite sport?
What's your favorite sport?
What's your favorite sport?
You're going to go a bit more into sports
instead of trying to redirect it
to some other passion of yours.
Talk about their passion.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Just look at it as being curious about something
and maybe you'll learn something.
Or about someone.
Yeah.
About someone, about someone, exactly.
So you could say, what's your favorite sport?
Or if they're already, if they're talking about hockey
or something, you could say, oh, is that your favorite sport?
So either one.
What's your favorite sport?
Or is that your favorite sport?
Right.
Exactly.
Your favorite sport, right?
Yeah.
It doesn't mean you have to spend the next hour
talking about hockey and they're going to explain
to you all the details.
It just means you're hanging on and looking for a bridge
for connection.
OK.
Yes.
Yes.
What's something else you could say?
You could say, I've always been curious
to learn more about basketball, right?
So that opens up the door for someone to say, oh, well,
I can teach you.
I love talking about this stuff for something like that.
I mean, even to connect with kids,
my nephew is a huge baseball fan.
And yeah, I know that if I want to have a good conversation
with him, it's a good thing to ask him about.
So people, I mean, this goes for anything
that people are passionate about, really.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
Fill in the blank here, right?
Yes.
Exactly.
I've always been curious to learn more
about the filmmaking industry, whatever it is,
um, to ask someone about, if they're, again,
if someone's a real sports fan, they probably
feel some passionate feeling for it.
And so dig into it because you'll get them to talk.
And you will really get that conversation going.
You will be building that relationship.
And you should be curious in general.
We want to be curious.
Anything that people are passionate about,
they would love for you to say this, right?
I mean, I've just been around people who love rocks and gems.
And they're super interested in what
comes out of the earth.
And if I say, whoa, is this a, you know,
is this an amethyst or is this a turquoise?
Or I've always been curious about the difference.
They will love you forever.
They'll go off.
Right?
I mean, yes.
Yes, it's true.
I've heard out a little bit, yes.
Yes, yes.
Give them the opportunity to nerd out.
And then have you always been a huge, yell curling fan?
Let's try different sports here.
And then I think a important point.
Another bonus question we could ask is,
are your family members also big fans?
You wrote that.
That's what it was.
Yeah, because I think that people really consider sports
a family and a community event.
If you, like, when I go to my brother's house,
not this year, because apparently the Patriots
are terrible this year.
But in general, you go over there.
My brother has like his brothers in law over his little nieces
and nephews.
They're all rooting for the paths together.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a big thing.
It's a big family thing.
Yeah.
So then you're actually, it's a bunny thing.
So at that point, you're asking not so much about the sport.
You're asking about their family.
How close are you to your family?
Tell me about.
Share it experiences with your family.
That gets deep, right?
That could open up a lot of new doors.
And it open up the next part of the conversation
that maybe you'll feel like you are more interested in
or can contribute to more.
So you're opening doors with them.
That's really good.
That's good stuff right there, Michelle.
All right.
All right.
Should we do a role play?
Yes, let's do it.
So here we go.
You love basketball, but I don't know where you're going.
Interesting.
Flip the rolls here a little bit, all right?
Hey, Michelle, I was up so late
watching the next game last night.
Did you see it?
Oh, no, I didn't.
I'm not much of a sports person.
OK, well, it was a great game.
Is that your favorite sport, basketball?
For sure.
I like all sports except hockey.
Hockey's not really my thing.
Have you always been a huge next fan?
Yes, four years.
That's great.
Honestly, I've always been curious to learn more about basketball.
Maybe you could teach me.
I'd love that.
Yes.
So what did we...
This felt like a very realistic conversation.
Yeah.
And there were a lot of places where it could have just ended.
The door could have been shut.
By right.
But here we didn't end it like that.
So you said that you were late watching the game.
Did you see it?
I said, I'm not much of a sports person.
It could have just cut it off.
And it almost there was this point of you
could have just said, oh, OK, well, it was a great game.
And then I could have said, oh, that's nice.
But I didn't.
What did I say?
Right, right.
You said, well, sorry, you said I'm not much of a sports person.
And then I said, OK, am I answering your question?
Hold on.
I lost my place here, Michelle.
No, no, no, it's OK.
You said, well, it was a great game.
And then I said, is that...
You're right.
So you came back.
And that was the turning point, I think,
where you saved it right there.
It could have, as you said, it could have just nosed off.
And then you said, hey, I want to...
Something about that question felt very interested in me.
Right?
It felt very honest.
And it felt like you were trying, but not trying too hard
to get to know me.
So it's good.
It's good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And then you said, you like all sports.
But you said hockey is not my thing.
Right.
Hockey is not my thing.
And then you said, have you always been a huge nicks fan?
You can ask this about anything.
Have you always been really into snowboarding?
Right?
There's so much you could ask here.
OK.
Mm-hmm.
And then you said, yes, for years, and I said,
I've always been curious to learn more about basketball.
Maybe you could teach me.
Love that.
Love that.
You know, I want to say one thing, before we do our takeaway
today, Michelle, is that if any of our listeners are in sales,
this is a key skill, because sales is not just about selling
the product, selling, selling, selling, spammy, selling.
It's about building relationships.
And if you are maybe you're selling a high end something,
and you take your clients to dinner,
you're selling a contract.
Maybe you're representing a consulting company
and you need to get a contract with that company,
you're not going to go straight to talking about your offer
or what your company can do.
You're going to, yeah.
You need a bridge and sports potentially could come up.
It also sounds like when you are talking
to your business consultant, Michelle, about basketball,
something might have happened there around trust building.
Am I right?
Mm-hmm, right.
Right.
Yeah.
You're not trusting in definitely.
Yeah.
So I think just allowing that person to share their interest
with you, share that show that you're interested in them.
That's really the key there.
Yeah.
And you have to build those relationships,
especially in business, but this is good for social life too,
because you don't want conversations to end that way.
Oh, I'm just not really that into sports,
and then you walk away.
Wow.
But I miss opportunity.
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
That's the thing.
If somebody says that they're real,
if you can feel someone's passionate about something,
don't just throw it away.
Don't just, oh, I'm not interested in it.
Use that.
If you can feel their passion, that is the key time to connect.
Oh, my gosh.
Because you can ask them, and they will be so excited to talk.
So, right.
So that is actually, look at that as your big moment.
And don't get, you know, I know probably
with the language, it might feel a little intimidating.
Maybe you don't know the right way to talk about it.
OK, don't shy away from it.
This is your moment.
Jump on it.
Yeah, it's your big opportunity.
It's where language matters less.
They're not going to, even if, again,
connection, not perfection, if you make a grammar mistake,
they're not going to hear your grammar mistake.
They're going to hear your question.
And they're going to think, oh, my gosh, this person
wants to know about my history watching basketball.
I'm so excited to share that with them.
Huge door opener, huge skill.
OK, this is really great, Michelle.
This has been an awesome series.
Yes, we had fun.
Right?
Go back, find the other episode on Business English,
and then go back to all our English, find Episode 1,
hit Follow on both podcasts, All-Ears English,
this one, and Business English, and Follow All-Ears English.
Good stuff.
All right, Michelle.
OK, all right.
I'm going to go watch the next game.
Have a good one.
Have fun.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
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