This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2150.
Three uniquely British ways to start small talk with Anna Tyree from English Like a Native.
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How are small talk openers different in London and British culture compared with New York City and American culture?
Today we talk with Anna to learn about three ways to start a conversation that are common in British English.
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Hello, Anna.
Welcome back to Allers English.
Excited to have you here.
How's it going today?
I'm really pleased to be back.
I'm very good.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
I'm doing great.
You were on the show a few years ago where we talked about breakfast foods in the US and the UK.
Do you remember that episode?
I do.
That was a lot of fun.
And I think I remember getting quite hungry during that recording.
Absolutely.
So I want to remind our listeners to go back and look for that old episode.
But for now, Anna, I'd like to introduce you to our audience at All Ears English.
So guys, today I have Anna Tyree, who is the founder of English Like a Native, a company that provides English courses focused on fluency and pronunciation, coupled with an award-winning online community.
She also provides lots of free online resources across social media and most notably, YouTube and Instagram.
At the end of 2022, Anna started a podcast on a whim and has since had 2 million downloads.
Anna, congratulations on that podcast launch.
That is amazing.
Thank you so much.
It's been a really fun experience and thank you for providing inspiration, because I loved your podcast before I started and now it's a constant source of research and inspiration.
So thank you.
Yes.
Well, it's always satisfying when we have YouTubers come over to the podcasting world to see how amazing podcasting really is.
So we're glad to have you here.
Today Anna, we are talking about starting a conversation, but I always ask myself, when it comes to starting a conversation here on All Ears English, we focus more on American English.
I'm curious if in British culture, first of all, where are you from?
Where in the world are you from?
What city are you from?
So I am from England, good old England, little island.
I actually hail from the north of England but have been living for over a decade now down in London.
Amazing.
Amazing.
So I'm really curious when it comes to starting a conversation in England and maybe let's say in London, in the city of London, how is it different from, for example, New York or anywhere in the United States?
So that is what we're going to get into today.
Do you think culture matters when it comes to starting a conversation?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I think generally in England British people are a lot more indirect and careful and gentle in how they would start a conversation and throughout a conversation.
But one thing in particular that always, almost always, starts a conversation is talking about the weather and making comments about the weather here.
Oh, I love that.
And it's funny.
When we were talking before recording today, I realised that.
Consider this an american thing, but i think it might be even more heavy in british culture, because michelle and i sometimes talk about the weather.
We'll open our podcast episodes about the weather, but i think over there in england you guys do this even more.
Why is that anna?
Tell me a little bit about the background, the culture.
Why are we so into the weather to start a conversation in england?
So We don't really suffer from extreme weather here, although more recently we have had a few little extreme episodes.
But our weather is, although it's quite ordinary, it's very unpredictable.
So you might walk out of the house in a little summer dress and sandals and a summer hat and sunglasses and then end up completely drenched and freezing cold because halfway through the day storm clouds have come in and it's just started throwing rain down in bucket loads.
Um, or you know, i've had times when it's been a mild winter's day, sun is out, and then moments later you're you're experiencing hailstones that are the size of golf balls and you're like what on earth?
Wow, as going on,
And so it's very unpredictable.
So we are always thinking about the weather and what we might need.
And we tend to go out with lots of bits and bobs that we might need layers and you know, an umbrella packed in the bottom of our bag, maybe a poncho, a waterproof poncho.
Um, always go out with cardigans and I'll tend to have like a vest and then a t-shirt and then a jumper in case I need to strip off through the day.
Wow.
I love that.
I didn't know it was so variable, the weather in England.
Yeah, it really is.
It's variable and it's unpredictable.
And so I think we are often in a state of surprise and shock about what has occurred.
And so it definitely provides a good talking point.
Okay, fantastic.
So before we go into just a little bit of how we would open that, how we would make that statement or ask that question, bits and bobs.
I love that you just said that for our listeners because again, we talk a lot about American English here.
We don't often hear that expression.
What does that mean?
Tell us a little bit more.
That is something I would never say.
That is uniquely British, I believe.
Tell us a bit more.
Yes.
So bits and bobs is an idiom that just means small... unimportant things or lots of little items.
So we all have a drawer at home that stores lots of bits and bobs.
You know you might put your safety pins and a spare remote control and an old purse, or you know those little bits and bobs, little unimportant things.
I love it.
We call that in the US our junk drawer.
So good.
All right.
So how would we then go ahead and open that conversation in terms of vocabulary, Anna?
Yeah, we want to open about the weather and how much it's changing, or whatever your comment is, what would you tend to say?
Yeah.
So you could start with something like, lovely weather today, isn't it?
So you could start with, I think you would call it a tag question.
So yeah, it's a lovely day today, isn't it?
Or you could start with something like, hasn't it turned out nice today?
Especially when the weather is unexpectedly... different.
So if you had expected rain and everyone had prepared for rain, but it actually was a lovely sunny day you could turn to someone and say oh, it's turned out nice today, hasn't it?
It's turned out nice.
It's turned out nice.
What about in the opposite way?
Do British people often use that sarcastically when it's turned out not so nice?
Is that common?
Because I feel like there's a lot of sarcasm in British.
Well, you know, if it was the opposite and you're expecting a lovely sunny day for a picnic and it's raining, then you could turn to someone and say it's turned out nice, hasn't it?
In a sarcastic manner which it might solicit a response and a conversation.
But we tend to suggest that you don't try and strike up a small talk conversation with humour, especially with someone you don't know, because humour can go down like a lead balloon if you're not careful.
Right, you don't know the person.
So would you say the weather opener is more common with someone, with both people you don't know or people you do know?
Just maybe stay away from the sarcasm, the deep sarcasm, with someone you don't know.
Yeah, I'd say, in terms of people you don't know, just strike humor off.
The list is best unless it's very gentle, like family-friendly humor.
Yeah, but weather, the topic of weather is universal.
You can talk.
I talk to my students about the weather, i talk to my mom about the weather when i call her up, and i'd speak to a complete stranger about the weather too.
Okay good, so next time i go to london i will know that the weather is a good way to start that conversation again.
I think it might be a little bit even more common than in the us.
I love that.
So let's move into number two here.
Anna, what would be the second kind of uniquely british or maybe uniquely london way of starting a conversation?
So complaining about public transport, so talking about your transportation woes?
Because we have, we have quite a large transportation network, especially here in london.
We have, we have the the tube, which many people who've been to london will know this vast underground system, And we have overground trains.
We have a huge bus network as well.
And also Uber, like taxis.
Yeah, taxis are very popular.
And often, you know, there are problems with our networks.
I don't know what it's like where you live, but we have a lot of issues with reliability and with just everything running as it's supposed to.
Okay.
And this is, you know, is it true that most people generally do take the public transportation?
They take advantage of that?
Or are there people driving around the city of London?
Do people have cars?
Yeah, people do have cars, but very few.
It's very difficult to have a car in London because first of all, you have the congestion charge.
So you have to pay to drive in London for every day that you come in and drive.
Wow um, and i think that's like 15 pounds a day.
It's really.
Yeah, i think they just implemented that in manhattan, or they're going to, they're talking about it, so that's a big deterrent right there, isn't it absolutely?
And they've got.
They've got this thing called the euler's so zones.
Now this is the ultra low emission zone.
So i actually live within a euler's zone, so you have to have a car that complies with ultra low emissions.
So if you have an older car, then that's a problem, because you're going to start being fined.
And if someone comes to visit us, I always have to say, what's the make and model of your car?
We'll have to check it complies.
Oh, my gosh.
So you generally would suggest the train then, I would imagine.
Yeah, so people are almost forced to.
You know, I think in an ideal world we'd all be on our bikes and cycling around the city.
But the weather doesn't make it easy to do that.
And so the tube, the buses and the trains and then taxis are your best bet for moving around.
And it is more efficient.
And what are the things that you're typically saying to start that conversation?
Is it the train or the public transportation is often late?
Is it that there are accidents?
What's what exactly is going on?
Is it construction?
What's the most common occurrence that we're referring to?
Of late.
Lately, the most common thing and the most common problem has been train strikes and tube strikes.
So lots of services have been cancelled or postponed and services reduced.
So people are just kind of like complaining.
And so that might be just something if you walked into the office and said You know, you can see, people are stressed.
You might be like, anybody else been affected by the tube strikes today?
Or did you have any problems with the tube strikes today?
Interesting.
Okay.
And then we always have this saying that one bus doesn't come for a long time and then three come all at once.
Of course.
So when you're waiting for a bus, it's like you're waiting for ages, and then they literally one after the other, the same bus turns up and you're like yeah, you wait for, and you literally turn to a stranger and say you wait for a bus for 20 minutes and then three come along at once.
I know it's always the same, isn't it?
Yeah, that's hilarious.
I lived in new york for four years and we had something similar.
What we didn't have was the strikes.
So in american culture, strikes are not as common.
I think i hear about strikes a lot in france, maybe in england.
I don't hear about them as much in the us, but we did have the phenomenon of the missing train, for example, the G train in Brooklyn.
No one has seen it since 2002.
I mean, there's always jokes that you can make with locals and you'll feel like a part of the community of your city.
Right.
It sounds like that's what we're getting out of here with transportation woes.
Yeah.
Right.
Absolutely.
And also it's a good opportunity to talk to people if you just want to inquire.
So often.
I don't use the bus that that regularly.
But if I do, especially if I'm taking a route that I've never taken before, I might just, you know, approach a stranger and say I'm really sorry.
Could you tell me, um, does the 71 bus go to, um, Stratford and, and, and how often does it come?
Is it likely to come anytime soon?
Yeah.
And that will usually start a conversation, because they'll ask Oh, you're not from around here, then
And no, actually I'm visiting someone.
Oh, that's lovely, oh that's cool.
So that that's likely on the street in London.
Would you say that that would kind of continue into a little bit of a connection moment?
Absolutely, it can do.
I mean, it's hit and miss.
Sometimes people are really, you know, they've got their head down, they're looking at their phone, they don't want to talk.
Other people are more than happy to invite someone into a conversation.
If you just give them the in, so if you just approach them and ask a question, And many people will be more than likely happy.
Older people I would say maybe not the youth of today, but older people, more confident people would be more than happy to start having a chat with you.
Of course, of course.
And these are such big international cities too, right?
New York, London.
I could see that working even at a party as you're just getting to know people.
Oh, you know, where do you live?
How did you get here to the party tonight?
Did you take the L train?
You know, I've heard that's been slow lately, things like that.
That would work in American culture as well.
I love the transportation piece because it really does make us feel like we're part of this city, right.
Whether it's London, New York, I love that concept of kind of complaining about transportation.
And is there a third?
This one is really interesting to me.
So let's go into this.
What would you say would be the third uniquely British way to start a conversation?
So we could ask someone, um like where they got something, or if if, if they've um enjoyed something or done something before.
But we ask it in a way that's so indirect.
We tend to put a question within a question.
So we would say something like could i ask you yeah, um how, how long you've been waiting for this bus?
If we were going to continue on the on the transportation thing, could i ask you how long have you been waiting for this bus?
Or do you mind if I ask where you bought that coat from?
I've been looking for a coat just like that for my sister's birthday and I can't find one.
Do you mind if I ask?
And it's just this way that we put a question within the question of can I ask, could I ask or do you mind if I ask?
Because no one's going to turn around and say, no, you can't ask.
Right, of course not.
Okay, then.
I find this one absolutely fascinating because I think in American culture, you'd see this less.
I think you would see things like, hey, I love your coat.
Or, by the way, where'd you get your coat?
That's an amazing coat.
I love it.
It's just why do you think this is so much more common in British culture?
Asking permission to ask.
Yeah, I think this just comes down to our nature of being very indirect.
It does feel like a very American thing to say hey to someone anyone hey, I love your coat, where did you get it?
That feels very American and actually I remember walking down the streets of New York and some guy just walking up to me and just saying something like hey, you look like you're having a great day, are you?
And I was like, yeah, thanks.
And he's like, great.
And just then walked off and I was like, what was that?
Okay, that's hilarious.
I love that anecdote.
Yeah, and I always just think of this kind of very direct confidence of Americans, whereas with the Brits it's almost like You can't look at people.
You can't give eye contact.
And if you do, you have to ask permission.
Is it OK if I talk to you?
Is it OK if I look at you?
You know, it's not everyone.
Of course, I'm generalizing, but we do have this very indirect nature.
So can I ask you, is it OK if I talk to you?
Yeah.
I wonder if there's anything throughout history, because I always try to think back throughout history and see what creates culture.
I mean, obviously I don't know if we can point to any one thing, but I just kind of wonder, historically speaking, kind of where that was born, where that was developed and how it was developed.
Any like inkling, any thoughts?
I don't know.
But I know that you know, back in the day of like social classes and There was very much a strong pull towards etiquette for everything.
There was an etiquette, there was a rule of engagement with everything you did how you would eat, how you would hold yourself, how you would talk to different people, how you would interact, how you speak to a man, how you speak to a lady, how you would ride a horse, how you would get into the car.
There was so many rules of etiquette that I think a lot of that still is present, without us realizing just in how we behave and interact with one another.
100%.
I bet that's it.
Now, that's fascinating.
I think we may have to have you on another day Anna, to go into that, because that's a really interesting difference between British culture and American culture.
We speak the same language, but in terms of that etiquette, very, very different.
But that's for another day.
I'm excited to have had you on today.
Anna, tell us where our listeners could find your podcast, which is booming these days.
Let us know where to go to find you.
Very simple.
We're on multiple platforms.
So wherever you enjoy listening to your podcasts, just search for the English Like a Native podcast.
Amazing.
Guys, go over there, find Anna's podcast and hit that follow button.
Listen, and you said you're publishing daily now.
Is that right?
Including the weekends?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Sunday episode is exclusive for Plus members only.
So that's locked for And unless you're a plus member, but yes, daily content.
So lots to consume.
Fantastic.
All right.
Thanks again, Anna, for coming on the show.
And I hope to have you on again very soon.
Have a good one.
Thank you.
You too.
Thank you.
Bye.
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