This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2119 three thinking habits that lead to success, with Joan Posivi.
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In today's episode, my guest Joan Pasivi from Side Hustle Hero gives us three thinking habits that make the difference between dreaming of success and actually achieving it in 2024.
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Hello, Joan.
Welcome to All Ears English.
How are you today?
Excellent.
Thank you so much for having me, Lindsay.
I'm glad to have you here.
So I'd like to take a minute to introduce you to our listeners.
So guys, today I have Joan Pasivi on the show.
She was a homeowner by age 19 and a bank manager by 22.
That's pretty impressive.
Joan is the author of the bestselling book The Way Success Works How to Decide, Believe and Begin to Live Your Best Life.
And she's also the host and the producer of the Side Hustle Hero podcast.
Welcome again, Joan.
It's quite a resume you've got there.
I mean, a bank manager by 22, how did that go?
Well, I was very fortunate Lindsay, in that when I was about 18 years old, I met someone who shared with me a series of ideas that really went on to become my life's work, but I was exposed to it at an early age and that got me goal setting.
On the right track.
Yeah, absolutely.
I love it.
Well, that's why I'm excited to get a glimpse into your mind here.
And what caught my eye about your profile?
Is this idea really the title of your book The Way Success Works?
Because I know that in your content area, you have a podcast, right?
As we just mentioned, and you talk about side hustles.
Is that right?
How to build a side hustle?
What is a side hustle?
First, I'll just ask you that.
We'll get that out of the way.
Sure.
A side hustle would be something that someone starts.
As an additional source of income outside of their or addition to their regular nine to five.
And sometimes the side hustle.
They do so well at it that they scale it and are able to quit their full time job, or they just keep it as a side hustle because that's what they want to do.
I love it.
I love it.
So that is a fantastic area.
And at the end of the episode today, I'll ask our listeners where they can find your podcast if they're specifically interested in building their own side hustle.
But I want to zoom out today and talk about success, right?
Because our listeners are looking to improve their English or do better in global business around the world.
I'd love to know if you can give us three very specific thinking habits that lead to success, and maybe you have some stories along the way, things that you have discovered.
It comes down to our thoughts, doesn't it, Joan?
It sure does.
That is an understatement, but yes, you nailed it.
And okay, so the three that I will share with you, the good news is it's global.
It doesn't matter what part of the world you're in.
This applies to you.
Yes, that is so true.
Yeah, and that's why i was so excited because, and also, just the desire to succeed also is so cross-cultural and global, isn't it?
Absolutely absolutely, without a doubt, and my guests on the side hustle hero from uh around the globe, and so the three that i want to share with you we're actually wrapped up in the subtitle of the book.
Okay, success works.
How to decide, believe and begin to live your best life.
Okay, Perfect.
So let's break it down.
Let's get started here with the first one.
So I guess that would be the thinking habit of deciding.
Is that right?
Yes.
So yes, I look forward to unpacking this a bit.
So number one is decide.
Okay.
Most people don't decide.
They may think about things that they want to have, do or be.
They might even have a wish list.
They talk about these things, but that's very different, Lindsay, than actually deciding.
Interesting.
Okay.
I love this.
Yeah.
And what we decide on...
It should be something that excites us, that's beyond what we've done before.
And the key here and this is a common error a lot of people make is do not let your present circumstances dictate what that goal, what that one thing is going to be for you.
Because and here's the key it's our thoughts and feelings that that drive our behavior, our actions, what we do, what we don't do, the opportunities that we seize, the ones that we let pass us by, and the opportunities we don't even see.
So those behaviors are propelling us into action, or non-action, as the case may be, creating a result.
And so if we're continually looking at our present results, that's going to generate the same actions and the same results, kind of year in and year out.
So while we want to... acknowledge present results, let's not let that control our thinking.
But instead, what's that one thing?
And if I could give you an analogy of kind of the power of it, the reason.
Yeah, let's hear an analogy.
We love analogies.
Let's do it.
If we were to take say, an orange seed and plant it in the ground, and in the ground that was conducive to its environment, healthy environment and cared for it, nurtured it over time, we could expect to see a beautiful orange tree emerge.
Would you agree with that?
I would agree.
Sure.
But from that orange seed we would not expect to see a cherry tree or a maple tree or a palm tree, only an orange tree, right.
Yes.
Here's a fun fact, though.
If we were to take that orange seed and dissect it and look at it using the latest and greatest technology or the most powerful microscope, we would never, ever find a little orange tree in there, because it doesn't exist in there.
You could say the orange tree is in the universe.
Yes.
But what that seed does contain is a pattern plan or like a nucleus, that dictates what it will grow into.
Yes.
That orange seed is part of nature.
You and I are part of nature and operate under the exact same laws, universal laws.
When we go beyond the just thinking about it or talking about that goal, that dream, and actually make a commitment to make it happen.
That's like choosing the seed.
Okay.
And then we need to plant it and care for it and nurture it.
How you do that Lindsay, is you allow yourself to become in a relaxed state and really see yourself in your mind's eye already in possession of that goal.
As you're doing that, it's planting the seed and you're caring for it and nurturing it.
But here's the key, because we take a look at our present results and say, you know what?
That's not happening.
Right.
And then we change the picture to what's happening out there or the negativity from others.
And it's like uprooting that seed.
And now you've replaced it with something you say you don't want.
Okay.
Okay.
I love it.
So, all right.
So let's go back to just the kind of the core piece of decide Joan.
So what is it that most people do, right?
I love what you're saying here, which is we need to imagine ourselves in that place where we have actually already succeeded.
What do most people do? or not do when it comes to the decide step?
And we'll go through each step one at a time.
What do they not do?
What do they miss?
How do they miss this?
They may get, if they even allow themselves, to the point of really imagining them having doing being what it is that they truly want that makes their heart sing.
It's short-lived, because then they go back into day-to-day life and they're thinking oh, what was I thinking?
I've got these bills to pay and I've got these commitments and I can't do that.
And then we're back to where we started from.
But again, go back to what I was saying before, and I'll toss in a, what I call a Jonism, a quote.
Okay.
Our external results are merely a reflection of our internal reality.
That is so profound.
If our listeners stop to think about it, they're going to see that that's true, right?
Yes, it is.
And it's our thinking in the past that every decision we've made, every action, has brought us to this place right now, you and I, talking people listening to this space and time.
If we want to change our results permanently and dramatically, we got to change the way we think.
Okay.
So tell me what this means logistically when it comes to decide.
Like I have a dream that I want to be able to, let's say, run the London Marathon.
What does this mean?
What does it mean logistically in terms of am I setting a date?
Am I signing up?
Am I creating a vision board?
Am I telling people?
What does it literally mean to decide?
When have we crossed into the mark and we've said, we've taken that step, we've done that thing?
When you have made a commitment that this is going to happen, you follow it through with action, and you gave some excellent examples there, lindsay.
You sign up for the marathon, you get the training going, you book your flight, whatever it is.
Yeah yeah, absolutely okay.
Do you have any tips for when it's and?
And now, after this, i want to move on to the next step here to keep us moving.
But when it's a little bit more amorphous, like it's a little more less specific, a little uh, harder to measure right, you either sign up or you don't, or you eventually get to the marathon or you don't.
What if it's something like improving your business, let's say?
How could we do the deciding there?
Certainly.
If that happens to be, the intent is to improve the business, you'll want to articulate what does that improvement look like?
Because if a person says well, I want more money, and they're walking down the street and they find 5 dollars, five pounds, whatever their currency is, they're richer.
But that may not have been exactly what they were looking for.
So get clear on what that looks like for you.
Somebody wants to be healthier.
Well, what would that look like?
What result would that be?
So that a third person, a third party looking in can say if it was achieved or not.
Right.
So for our listeners guys, if you're taking the IELTS exam, there's a certain score you're going to say that you're going to achieve.
That is the decision step.
So what would be the next step, or the next thinking habit Joan, that we need to have to achieve success?
What do you think?
Number two is believe.
To develop a strong belief in yourself.
Because you Lindsay, and everyone listening has more talent and potential and possibility, then I bet you give yourself credit for sure.
And while our potential is infinite, that's not how most of us were raised and consequently, we're running around harboring a lot of doubt and fear about what we can accomplish.
So what matters here, when it comes to believe, is it about who's around us.
What is the, what is the step that pushes us into truly believing?
That is yeah, that is certain.
Well, number two things that is certainly a key.
And I'm glad you mentioned that the people that you find yourself surrounded by are more important to you and where you're going than was built into your genes at birth.
So get in the right environment.
Not be able to choose your family, but you can certainly.
A mentor of mine used to say.
As far as the negative family members, he says here's a solution.
Just don't go as often and don't stay as long.
Just don't surround yourself with those people quite as much, right?
Yes.
And the biggest piece of that is developing an understanding of your true potential.
And if I can toss in one more analogy, this is actually a little story.
Okay.
We love stories.
Okay.
So back in my 20s, I was living in Toronto, Canada, and I'd heard about the Golden Buddha.
It's a statue in Bangkok, Thailand.
Yes.
I've seen it.
You have?
In person?
Yes.
Oh, good for you.
I was so fascinated by it.
It's like, I've got to see this.
Yes.
But being 20-something in Toronto, I didn't know how I was going to get there.
But when you write down your goals, you don't have to know.
In fact, if it's a big enough goal, you're not going to know how.
That's a different podcast interview.
Okay.
But anyway, time goes on.
And I ended up being invited to co-present a series of seminars for Malaysian Airlines in Kuala Lumpur.
And there's people there from all around the world, including Thailand.
Yes.
And this woman in the audience invites me.
She's from Thailand.
She invited me to stop by her place on my way back to Canada, which I did.
So fast forward, I'm standing in front of the statue.
It is, and for those of you who haven't seen it, it is about three meters tall, about 10 feet.
It weighs five tons.
It's valued at about 250 million because it's pure gold and it's thought to be about eight centuries old.
Amazing.
But here's the backstory.
Long, long time ago, under the threat of invasion by Burmese soldiers, the keepers of the statue were concerned for its safety.
Well, they couldn't easily pick it up and move it somewhere.
So they came up with what was really a brilliant solution.
They decided to hide it in plain sight.
And the way they did that is, they covered it in layers of plaster and then painted it and inlaid bits of colored glass so that it looked decorative but not necessarily worth much.
Well, the disguise worked, but it worked so well that, over the years, over the generations, over the centuries in fact, the mystery of what lay underneath the beauty, the value, was lost.
Until get this 1957, when the statue was being moved from one location to the other, these straps were put around it, and when the crane went to lift it and move it, one of the straps broke.
Okay, the statue falls to the ground, cracks the corner of the plaster, revealing this gold.
Amazing, amazing.
And now that i'm standing there, now in person, having the privilege of seeing it, i'm thinking How could something so commanding, so stunning have remained hidden for so long?
I think you know where I'm going with this.
That same sense of awe can and should be felt for what lies at the core of you and me.
Because you and I, like that storied Buddha, were born golden, with all sorts of talent and potential and possibility just waiting to express itself.
But then from a very early age we're hit with the negative conditioning and self-doubt and you can't do this and you can't do that.
And who do you think you are?
And don't talk at all that.
It's true.
A lot of people.
Those layers are never chipped away or peeled back, but rather they're added onto year after year.
Right.
So we have to find the gold underneath.
And this is the believe piece, right?
It's almost like we have to go back and think like a child again.
The way we thought before we lost, before we were told, oh, that's not going to work.
And other people's limitations were imposed on us.
We have to kind of go back there to find a way to think in that way.
That is the believe piece.
I love it.
Yes, because not knowing is simply what we call ignorance.
That's a definition of it.
It's just not knowing.
Well, the polar opposite is understanding.
Understanding what you're capable of.
And that requires study.
And even if it's just like, five minutes a day.
There's incredible resources free all over the internet.
You know, turn off what you're listening now or the scrolling or whatever, and replace that with, like I said, even five minutes, 10 minutes a day, to something that really connects you back with, like I said, your potential.
Yeah, i love that.
Okay, so we have a few minutes left here joan, and what would be your third thinking habit?
So we've got decide, we've got believe, and what would be the third thing that we need to do to get to success with anything we want to do language learning, exam preparation or just achieving our dreams?
Right, drum roll, please.
No, you'd mentioned the podcast side hustle hero and i started that about a year and a half ago And it's really interesting because the guests I have on they are so varied in their side hustles and their backgrounds.
Like we're talking a beekeeper, a trademark attorney, a comedian, a bestselling cookbook author and, of course, all the online businesses.
But I start to like listen to their message and there's a commonality that is weaved through.
And one of the questions I ask everyone at the end is what's your best tip for someone to start or grow their side hustle?
And it's pretty common that I hear them say, just start.
You've done the research.
You've talked about it.
You've been thinking about it.
Do it.
And so, again, I'll just use that example of the marathon.
You may not know or the one about improving your business.
You're not going to know all the steps that are going to lead you there.
But if you go back to when we were talking about planting that orange seed and see yourself in your mind's eye already accomplished it, you're going to have an inkling, an idea of what at least the one or two first steps are.
Do those.
And when you get there, you'll see the next step.
Or as I like to say, go as far as you can see.
And when you get there, you'll see how to go further.
Yeah, I love it.
We don't have to know every step.
That is so true.
I think that's where people kind of get stuck, right?
They think they have to know everything, everything that's going to be ahead in every step.
Make a whole plan, whether it's a business plan or an exam prep plan.
No, we need to just start, take the first step and then the steps will appear as we get there.
I love it, Joan, so good.
So coming back to your three ways of believing there, decide of success, decide, believe and begin.
And this is kind of, these are the secrets, right?
After you've interviewed so many successful side hustlers, This is what you found.
Yeah.
So good.
Yeah.
So John, where can we find you online if we want to learn more about side hustles or just success in general?
Pretty much the hub of everything that I do is at SideHustleHero.com.
I love it.
And so over there, you interview people who have started their own businesses on the side.
Very inspiring.
I love it.
All right.
Very good.
Well, thank you for coming on the show and hanging out with us today and letting us know about how success works, how to get there.
So good.
Thank you so much for having me, Lindsay.
That was so much fun.
All right.
Thanks, Joan.
Have a nice day.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
All right.
Bye.
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