This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2060.
Who's the last person you connected with in English?
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.
And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe. take information that you know about someone and turn it into an awesome question that will deepen your connection?
Today we share extremely useful grammar for creating deeper connections with friends, family and co workers.
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Hey, Aubrey, what's shaking?
Not too much.
How are you, Lindsay?
I am feeling great.
So I have a question for you today.
All right.
So what is the last dessert that you ate?
You know, my coffee this morning probably should count as a dessert, because I use almond milk, vanilla creamer.
It makes it very sweet, but so delicious.
It tastes like coffee ice cream, basically.
Oh yeah.
My parents do that.
They put the chocolate almond milk in their coffee and I always tell them like guys, it's a dessert now.
This is a dessert and I'm here for it.
I want my coffee to taste like a dessert.
Is your coffee not sweet, Lindsay?
No, I drink so much coffee that if I put sugar even I take it black black like I don't add anything to it.
If I did that, I would definitely start to put on weight quickly just because I drink so much coffee, right?
That makes sense to me.
I'm like a one cup a morning girl, so I can handle a little sugar in it.
I cannot do black coffee.
I would rather drink dirt water.
Really?
Oh, it's so good.
No, it's so good when you have a good dark roast.
Oh, I love it.
I maybe could get used to it, but I think just because I've always, and I always I loved coffee, ice cream growing up,
Really?
So good.
Yes.
So I really want my coffee to taste like coffee ice cream.
That's interesting that you loved coffee ice cream as a kid but you don't like black coffee, like the taste of coffee as a As an adult.
It's interesting.
Because I don't know if you've had coffee ice cream.
It does not taste like black coffee.
It tastes like coffee with a lot of sugar and cream.
Sugar and creamer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Which is a very different flavor.
You know, Aubrey, this makes me think of an episode we did recently.
It was 2056, Don't Have Cash, How to Tip at a Coffee Shop.
So Michelle and I did that episode.
It was a good one.
Yes, right.
We talk about coffee a lot because Americans talk about coffee a lot and English speakers all over the world right.
And this is vital to know how to tip at a coffee shop.
This is super cultural, super tricky.
So if you guys missed that one, go back, check it out.
Be sure to hit follow so you never miss an episode.
Yeah, guys, hit follow on this podcast.
This is the time, you know, we're in the month of September.
It is the time to find a way to have fun again learning English, right, Aubrey?
I mean, what is our motto when it comes to learning English?
Right, connection.
Perfection, not perfection.
Exactly.
It should be fun.
Yes.
That is why we're here.
So in every single episode of All Ears English guys, we're going to show you how to connect on the human level with another human being.
We're not going to get stuck in grammar.
We're going to show you grammar, but we're not going to get stuck on our mistakes.
Okay.
So if you love that idea, hit follow.
Awesome.
I love it.
And this episode today is a follow up from a previous episode.
So if you haven't been following, you might have missed it.
Scroll back, check out episode 2024.
When's the last time you learned such useful grammar?
And we promised that we would follow up with phrases for using this grammar to spark conversation.
Yeah, I love that idea.
So let's talk a little bit more.
Tell us a little bit more about this, Aubrey.
What do we mean?
So often we use it as a rhetorical question, right?
It's an expression that's used to emphasize like, for example when's the last time you ate something this delicious?
You know, and in that case, I'm just saying this is delicious.
I don't really need you to answer that question.
You could if you want.
I'm just what I'm really saying is oh, this dessert is so good right, i love that.
I feel like whenever i go to paris, that's what i'm saying every day, every hour of every day, when i'm eating food in paris right yes right, when's the last time you had something so delicious flavorful, and they might answer?
They might be like oh, it's been years, or they might not answer because they realize what you're really saying is this is delicious yes, or something like this when's the last time you saw such a beautiful rainbow?
So here's a good question, aubry do we use this expression when we are actually seeing or experiencing the thing?
Is that a key element?
Yes, that is key.
Right.
Exactly.
You are seeing something or tasting something amazing and you're using it as an expression to emphasize how awesome it is.
So this could go either way.
You might just be saying, oh, this rainbow is so beautiful.
When's the last time you saw such a beautiful rainbow?
Or you might literally be asking the person, right?
You're both looking at a rainbow.
Yeah.
When's the last time you saw such a beautiful rainbow?
But more often than not, it's just it just means amazing. wow, what a beautiful rainbow.
It's just an expression we use to emphasize how amazing it is.
Yeah, it's a great way to guys.
Connection is taking an experience that you're hopefully sharing with someone else and making comments on it.
Right.
I remember I saw a rainbow a few weeks ago in Frisco, Colorado.
We came out of a bar.
We had dinner.
We came out.
It was a huge, a full rainbow.
Right.
And the mountains in the background.
It was awesome.
So pretty.
I saw one in Bear Lake this summer.
It was over the lake, full double rainbow.
The one in front was, like you know, not as bright and bold, but so beautiful when it's out in nature like that, instead of just like over houses.
Right.
So you have to have something to say in these moments.
Yes.
Right.
And this is perfect.
When's the last time you saw something so beautiful, right?
But here's the trick.
We also use this grammar structure.
Just when's the last time to actually ask people about the last time they did something?
So we're going to share several examples.
We can answer them, just the tiny, tiny mini role plays.
All of these are so perfect for you guys to spark a conversation with friends family, coworkers just the way to start the conversation by asking someone when the most recent time they did something is right.
And in this context of these examples that are coming up guys, it's not so much about sharing that.
You don't have to be have to be in that moment, right.
We don't have to be camping to ask when's the last time you went camping?
Exactly right, at work, you might be on a break, you might be at happy hour, right.
It's just something fun to ask someone about their recent experiences.
Yeah right, i'm trying to get to know you, right.
Like, how often do you go camping?
I could ask that if you say three years ago, i went once three years ago, i know something about you immediately, right?
Yes.
And it's also a great follow-up question.
If you're sharing an experience, right?
You're at happy hour.
You're telling someone about a camping trip you took.
This is something great.
You kind of finished up the story to say, what about you?
When's the last time you went camping?
I love that use.
Invite them to share.
I love that use that you mentioned that Aubrey, because a lot of times for our listeners we know that one thing you guys struggle with is knowing how to continue the conversation.
Maybe you share a story and then...
You're kind of driving the conversation.
The room's a little quiet.
What are you going to say next to keep it going?
This is perfect.
Exactly.
Right.
So here are a few examples we're going to share.
That's the first one.
That's why we were saying that.
When's the last time you went camping?
Awesome.
Now granted, if you know a little bit about the person and you know they don't go camping, they don't like camping, ask them about something else, right?
What's the last book you read, right?
You do want to have this be informed a little bit by what you might know about someone and what their interests are.
Or for example, I find that there are people that are concert people and not concert people, right?
So I have a friend who loves to go to concerts.
She spends a ton of money going to concerts.
I'm not a concert person.
It would have to be like I would go to a Madonna concert, for example.
I would go to the classic singers.
But a lot of times, I wouldn't have gone to Taylor Swift.
It was just in Denver.
Everyone went.
I tend to not want to spend my money on going to concerts.
I just feel like they can be expensive.
But if that person is a concert person, when's the last concert you went to?
When's the last time you went to a concert?
You can get into...
A conversation about that.
Right.
And if you don't know about them, you don't know much about their interests.
You might adjust this question to instead be like, have you been camping or do you like camping?
If you don't already know that they're a person who goes camping often.
Right.
If you already know a little bit about them, you know, they like camping.
Then this is a perfect question.
When's the last time you went camping?
Right.
So this is kind of when we know, as you said, know a little bit more about them.
Maybe you're hanging out for the second or third time.
You're trying to drive the topic towards them, who they are, right?
Exactly.
Right.
Kind of showing that you know a little bit about them.
So which of these you choose shows that you know your friends a little bit, right?
Whether you say, when's the last time you went camping?
Or what's the last book you read?
Or what's the last trip you took?
Yeah, who's the last person you met?
This one's, I guess, a little different, right?
Because we're everyone meets people generally, you know, like, who's the last person you met?
What would be the context in which we might use that one, Aubrey?
What would you say?
Yeah, I feel like if I were at a conference and I'm intentionally trying to meet interesting people, right.
And then I ran into somebody, maybe that I know, a coworker.
Then I'd be like oh, you know who's the last person you met.
And they'd be like, oh, this amazing girl.
She's so interesting.
She works for this podcast, right?
Her name's Lindsay McMahon.
Oh, cool.
She sounds amazing.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I like that.
That's a good use, right?
Because conferences are all about meeting people.
The other use I could imagine for that one is if you're like a parent and you're calling your kid at college right.
Who's the last person you met?
Who's the last... Trying to encourage them to be social.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Right.
Or who's the last person you went on vacation with, right?
Maybe you're talking about your trips and the last trip you took and you say who's the last person you went on vacation with?
Or who...
You know, who did you travel with most recently?
Yeah, yeah.
I love that.
But, as we said, we're not going to use this generally for something we don't think they did, unless you want to be sarcastic, right.
Yeah, that's true.
When's the last time you went skydiving?
I'm not planning on doing it, right?
If you're kind of poking fun at someone or... That's a good point.
Yeah, we don't usually use this if we don't know that they've probably done it, right?
We wouldn't say, when's the last time you went skydiving if we don't know if they've been skydiving.
But yeah, that's a good point.
If you're talking about maybe going skydiving and saying you're not interested, you would not want to do it.
You maybe would use this stark sarcastically, right?
What about you?
When's the last time you went skydiving, right?
If that person's teasing you and saying come on, don't be a wimp, just go do it?
When's the last time you did it?
Or you know something like that?
Um, so good stuff, all right, aubrey role play time.
Yes, so this role play.
You and i are on a road trip.
I'll start us out.
When's the last road trip you took?
A summer?
We drove up to canada.
Oh wow, the last time i was in canada was over 10 years ago, when we took our kids to montreal.
What about you?
When's the last time you went on a road trip?
A few weeks ago, I drove to Escalante and then up to Idaho.
We did a slot canyon hike.
When's the last time you hiked a slot canyon?
It's been a couple of years.
I've never actually hiked a slot canyon before in my life.
Never ever?
You live in Colorado.
They're everywhere.
No, I've never hiked...
I hike a lot, but I don't really do the slack canyons.
I should, though.
I guess I should.
You do have to be careful of flash flooding though, and taking up water, because people die if there's a flash flood and they just get swept away.
It's crazy.
They are a little dangerous.
All right.
So first, you said, Aubrey, when's the last road trip you took, right?
Yeah.
So we're using that just expression.
Anything you want to ask somebody about, when's the last road trip you took?
Perfect.
And then you said, oh, wow, the last time I was in Canada was over 10 years ago.
And again, really smart connection moment around one topic.
Absolutely.
And this is just that use of saying the use of the last time in that recent episode.
If you missed, go check it out.
We use this a lot.
Instead of saying the most recent time, we'll just say last time.
The last time I was in Canada was 10 years ago.
Perfect.
And then I said, what about you?
When's the last time you went on a road trip?
Right.
And it's just like we said, right, that good follow up question to further the conversation.
I love it.
So good.
And then what did you say last?
Yeah.
And then I used, when's the last time you hiked a slot canyon?
The intonation is interesting here, because if you use incorrect intonation, you can sound like you're judging someone, right?
Yes.
I can imagine.
It's like, when's the last time you hiked a slot canyon?
That's kind of that sarcasm that we talked about earlier.
Or it sounds like I'm so proud of myself for hiking slot canyons.
When's the last time you did that?
So you can hear how, in the tone, you can imply things you don't mean if you're not careful, yeah.
So that's why we want to be careful, Yeah.
Maybe not saying something so specific, right?
Or yeah, because there's an assumption I've done it when I say that, right?
When you say that.
Right.
When I read through this I'm like I actually probably would say instead we did a slot canyon hike.
What about you?
Have you done slot canyon hikes?
Yeah.
That's why we said in our advice was don't use this if you don't know they for sure have done it.
That's why there can be kind of this implied judgment almost if they say no.
That is a really good connection tip, Aubrey.
I love that.
So just say, you know, have you ever tried this?
Have you ever done?
And that's another great connection moment, right there, to go in another direction of inquiry with the person.
The difference would be, if we're in this role play and I know you hike Slap Canyons a lot then this totally works.
When's the last time you hiked a Slap Canyon?
Like which one was it?
Tell me about it.
I love this concept of knowing something, about someone knowing a little bit and then really digging into that.
Asking them about it.
Hey, what have you done the last few weeks?
Have you done this lately?
When's the last time you did this?
So good.
Absolutely.
That's our takeaway, right?
This grammar structure is so excellent for connecting in English to getting to that deeper level.
Use it, right?
To ask coworkers, friends, family about recent experiences or things they may or may not try.
This is not small talk.
This is getting away from that.
Yeah.
I mean, the more you share about what you like to do in the world, the more questions people will be able to ask you guys.
So don't be afraid to share what you love, what you love to do with your time off.
Yeah.
Yes, absolutely.
Dive into it.
Good stuff, Aubrey.
I will talk to you again very soon here on All Ears English.
Thanks for hanging out.
Awesome.
See you later.
Bye.
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