This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2040.
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With your American hosts Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
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When you ask someone not to do something, there's a special way to say it if you are close to the person by adding one simple word.
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Hey, Michelle, how's everything today?
Hey, Lindsay, good.
How are you?
Awesome.
I'm feeling fantastic.
What are we getting into today?
What are we talking about?
Well, Lindsay, don't you forget we have a lunch meeting tomorrow.
Okay.
I won't, Michelle.
I'll be sure not to forget.
So what did you say there to me?
Yeah.
Well, I said, don't you forget.
Yeah, don't you forget.
That's a little bit different.
Maybe something our listeners haven't heard before.
Maybe, maybe.
So guys, we have a listener question.
This is a really fun and interesting one.
I'm excited.
So Lindsay, could you read it for us, please?
Yes, this is from Valeria Rocha, right?
And she says, what's the difference between saying don't cry and don't you cry?
Love the program.
Thanks a lot.
Well, thank you, Valeria.
We appreciate that.
Thank you.
I can't quite read the first name, but anyways.
Thank you to our amazing listener.
Yes, for sure.
Yeah, I really love this specific and thought provoking question.
It was very specific and it also made me think.
So that was fun.
Just to throw in a fun other All Ears English episode because it talks a little bit about, you know emotions, heartstrings and hot chocolate.
That was episode 1724.
Go on over and listen to that one.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Guys, go back.
We have so many amazing episodes in the past.
You don't want to miss them.
And make sure you're following All Ears English, by the way.
Hit follow right now so you don't miss any new ones, right?
We just drop right into your queue if you are following the show.
So easy.
So easy, Michelle.
That's right.
That's right.
So let's talk about it.
So don't cry.
So if I say don't cry, that's kind of a command or maybe an encouragement to, to comfort someone right, like I might say that to my baby like oh, don't cry, don't cry, you know exactly, don't cry perfect um, what else Michelle, what else?
Well, so some examples oh, don't cry, it's only a game right, don't cry, it's only a game.
Or don't cry, it'll be okay, I promise right right, or don't cry, you'll make me cry.
Yeah, that happens especially in movies.
I guess you're probably a movie crier Michelle, I would imagine.
Yeah,
Yes.
Well, we've talked about, what was it, Call of the Wild?
Oh, God, yes.
Or was it Call of the Wild?
No, not Call of the Wild.
No, no, no, not Call of the Wild.
Into the Wild.
Wild.
Call of the Wild is different.
Yeah, I mean, I literally cried for 20 minutes afterwards.
It was sobbing.
Yeah, it was some kind of a I think it was also the Eddie Vedder music that they put in at the end that just really like oh, sometimes music combined with feeling it just hits you so hard right, oh my gosh yeah yes um yeah, so anyway, we sometimes we talk about that.
Lindsay, how we both cried um, so yeah, not like a little tear in my eye, like a full-on weeping for a long time yeah anyway um so, it's a good time um so, but let's talk about you know the other, the other way of saying it.
So what we're going to do is we're going to use the exact same examples, but we're going to do you.
Yes.
Right.
So and we're going to talk about how these might sound different.
So let's do the first one, Lindsay.
Yes, we could say, here we go.
Don't you cry.
It's only a game.
So what I added there was the you.
Right.
Instead of saying, don't cry.
It's only a game.
I said, don't you cry.
It's only a game.
Should we give the other examples and then we'll talk about it or do we want to talk about it?
Yeah, let's do it.
Uh, yeah, I guess we'll get the other ones first and then we'll go back.
Um, or don't you cry.
It'll be okay.
I promise.
Or don't you cry.
You'll make me cry.
So we have intonation, things happening, but really what we're doing is we were inserting the you.
How is it different?
I think it sounds more emphatic.
I think it almost sounds more like a warning, whether it's like a serious warning or a like, or just you know, in the, don't you cry, you'll make me cry.
Like I'm warning you that you're going to make me cry.
Yeah, it might be to me.
It feels maybe a little more personal.
Maybe you're a little closer.
This is very subtle, guys.
We get into the nuances of English.
Yeah, this is very subtle.
You know, they don't cry or don't you cry, right?
It feels like maybe you know that person a little better.
You're closer to them, maybe a family member, that kind of thing in my mind right yeah, i think it just seems a little bit stronger um, maybe even more like you care, like like you care a little more.
Like don't you, don't you cry.
But um, i mean, in the, in the first example of like don't you cry, it's only a game, i think that's more just like i don't know quite what the difference is between don't, don't cry, it's only a game.
I think don't you or cry has a little bit more of an attitude to it.
Don't you do this, right?
There is, it can be delivered with an attitude for sure, right?
So maybe we'll get into, in just a minute, we'll get into some more examples, yeah?
Yes.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
All right, let's get into those examples, Michelle.
Let's do it right away.
All right, okay.
So can we do this, you know, with other things?
This is, we're not just talking about crying here.
Let's talk about other verbs we can do.
Don't you X, right?
So what's the first one, Lindsay?
All right, here we go. don't you work too hard now.
Right.
So this, I think of like a grandfather pointing his finger at his grandson or something.
Don't you work too hard now.
Right.
Um, yeah, it's a little different, little different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or this one, don't you leave without saying goodbye.
Um, so actually today, our neighbors of the past six years they moved in when we moved in they are moving.
So just this morning we were taking pictures and which was not easy because I had a sick baby, but like we were taking pictures and they brought over their little boy is the same age as mine.
He made a card for him.
And so then mine made a card for him.
And then there's another little girl in the hall.
And so like it's been a really good experience, really good situation with the two other families, and so one of them is leaving and so yeah, so i might say to her don't you leave without saying goodbye, rather than oh, don't leave without saying goodbye.
It just sounds a little bit more i don't know, a little bit more like i care, like i'm like don't you do that to me.
You know yeah, i love that, i love that.
Yeah, it is a little bit more like you care.
You're adding a little extra feeling.
There's more connection.
You know them a little better than just an average everyday person, someone random.
Yeah.
Right.
Or what about the next one?
The next one is, don't you start questioning me.
So this one is more of a warning.
But I think that it overall, the overall message as it sounds, it's adding an extra layer of caring.
So maybe you're like fighting with your a partner and you're saying Oh, don't you start questioning me.
Right.
It's like, you know them a little better.
Just like what you said, Lindsay, I agree with that.
Yeah.
You know them a little better and there's an intimacy there.
So you can say that, um, you know, if it were like a coworker and maybe you didn't know them well, or they're at a different level in your company, you wouldn't, it wouldn't be normal to say that you would just say, yo, please don't question me or something.
Right, right, right, right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
A different episode for a different day, but here's another one, right?
Don't you doubt yourself, right?
Again, I could see that like a parent saying that to their teenage kid, for example, right?
Right.
Right.
Right.
And because OK, I'm imagining, let's say, I don't know why this just made me think of a graduation speech.
So maybe, you know, somebody in the speech would say, don't doubt yourself.
But saying like, don't you doubt yourself would sound a little bit more personal.
Yeah.
They're like trying to connect a little bit more.
And don't don't you doubt yourself would definitely be good if you know someone like more personal.
Okay.
So you're saying that probably in the speech, they wouldn't say that.
Don't you doubt yourself?
You're saying don't doubt yourself more broadly, because the speaker doesn't necessarily know everyone.
Yeah.
I mean, I think so.
I mean, I could hear someone if, using it as a technique to feel even more like don't you doubt yourself?
Yeah, totally.
It just slightly changes the tone and the meaning, not the meaning.
The intimacy of what you're saying.
That's what it does.
That's the key.
It's so interesting.
That's why I love these questions.
Where then we really?
And then I love how sometimes, you know, I come with something and then we kind of work it through together.
Actually, it's this.
Yeah, this is the process that our listeners love to hear this process.
It's so good.
Well, let's give our listeners a role play here.
And Michelle, we're friends and we're reminiscing about school.
So we're friends here.
So that's a key point, right?
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
Here we go.
All right.
Mr. Peters was the best teacher.
Oh, I miss him.
That was the best class.
Don't you cry on me.
I'm sorry.
I just miss being a kid.
Don't you laugh at me, Lindsay.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Don't worry about it.
So we're friends.
And also, it sounds like we grew up together and we went to school together.
So there definitely is a close connection, whether it's just former childhood friends.
We know each other right.
But maybe, like a newer friend that you just met, you wouldn't necessarily be saying this don't you do this right, it's just not right, point.
Yet you know right right, exactly.
So here we go.
So i said that was the best class and yeah, like i'm getting emotional.
And you said don't you cry on me, like in a teasing way yeah it's, it's almost like you're saying instead of, you could also say oh, don't cry, But that's a little more objective.
And here you're showing how that would affect you.
Right.
That would make you cry.
True, true, true.
Exactly.
And then what did I say?
And then you said, I'm sorry, I just miss being a kid.
Don't you laugh at me.
Right.
So a little bit of a, a banter going on too is what this kind of creates.
This, don't you?
Wouldn't you say like yes yeah yes, we're kind of just like going back and forth, teasing a little bit yeah, because we know each other so well yeah, and then I said sorry sorry, yeah.
And then I said don't worry about it instead of don't you worry about it?
A little over the top yeah, that would be a little too much.
Don't you worry about it?
Yeah, it would be a little too cute right, like too much too much right, so don't worry about it.
That's how you finish it.
I like that.
I like that.
Well, this is super, a super subtle nuance of english yes, but i think our listeners are ready for it.
You know, as long as you guys understand what this does with connection, what it means, it's used um, and when you know someone better maybe you have a shared history, like our role play, or you know it's like between partners or family members, very close friends that grew up together, intimate kind of connections, is when I would suggest using this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that.
Said very well, Lindsay.
So thanks so much.
And thank you to the listener for this question.
It was an awesome one.
All right, guys, hit follow on All Ears English if you love our style of connection, not perfection.
Good stuff.
Okay, Michelle, take care.
Bye.
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