This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 1780.
How to accept when things don't go your way in English.
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Let's talk about cookies and life.
In this episode, we show you a native and natural way to respond when something doesn't go quite the way you want it to.
Listen in today for things to say in English and things to avoid with this phrase.
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Hey there, Michelle, what's shakin'?
Hey, Lindsay, not too much, not too much.
How are you?
Oh, I'm doing great.
What are we getting into today for our listeners?
Well, Lindsay, is it hard for you to accept when things don't go the way you want?
Is this a hard thing for you?
If I don't get my way or if like things just don't work out is what you mean?
Yeah, maybe putting it that way.
More so okay, less so about not getting my way.
More things just don't work out, for whatever reason.
I would say it's definitely hard.
Yeah.
Especially because I like to vision board.
I like to make vision boards and have ideas about what I want in the future or what I want every day.
So when things don't work, it's a bummer for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I think it's a little hard for everyone.
I think it would.
If you answered that in a way that was like no, like i'm fine with everything that happens, it's like that would that would be insincere.
Yeah, you would roll your eyes, be like you're lying.
Yeah yeah um Yeah, it's hard for everyone when things like just don't work out.
I mean, we can't like, I don't know, can we control when things happen that aren't good?
I mean, sometimes yes, but sometimes no, like sometimes we're in control.
And sometimes it's just how things are.
Yeah.
I mean, I do feel like I've gotten better at this over the years, because one thing that comes to mind is I felt like when I was a kid, it would always snow on Friday nights when I had plans.
Like we would have this dumping of snow and whenever I but whenever I didn't have plans like it wouldn't snow.
So I always kind of was really crushed when I had a big Party to go to.
You know, when you're a teenager you're kind of angsty right.
Yeah.
And you want to be around your friends.
You don't want to miss out.
And I would feel like it would always snow and I would really take that hard.
But now I'm just like, okay, I'll just stay in.
No problem.
Right.
It is upsetting when the weather messes with your plans, though.
Yeah, that can be hard.
Like I feel like I've had visits from my family that have not been able to have it, like those kind of like that.
Yeah.
But so that those situations can still be hard, I think, even as an adult from time to time.
But I know sometimes I feel like, you know, you get a waste of a snow day.
Like, do you ever feel like that when it happens on like Saturday?
Yeah.
Total waste.
Just like, no, I want it to be a day off.
I know.
I know.
I know.
That was always the best thing.
We've been talking about snow days lately on the show.
I know.
They are actually the best thing about being a kid.
They are.
They are.
So we're going to talk about some expressions to use in these situations.
I'll get more into in a second.
But guys, we want to remind you to get our All Ears English app.
We have it in iOS and Android.
So you can get that at allearsenglish.com slash app.
A-P-P.
You got it, Michelle.
Over there, guys, in the app, only in the app, you get the transcripts right on your phone, right?
That's pretty cool to be able to see every single word we're saying right now.
You could actually be seeing the transcripts as we speak.
So go over allearsenglish.com slash app.
Okay.
You can see it right now and right now and right now.
So the people who have the app, they could see that.
So that was a shout out to the people using it.
Love it.
Love it.
All right, Michelle.
So today are we going to go into some ways to actually say this, when just to kind of what accept what's happening in the moment.
Like, hey, I had plans tonight.
I had a big date night plan, but it's snowing.
So what do I say?
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah, these are expressions that you can say when something happens that wasn't ideal, but not necessarily.
Not necessarily something you could help.
So you can say them about your own situations.
And we're going to talk about, like if you can say them to other people when they have bad luck or something that happens, because
That that's important to discuss as well.
And I also.
Maybe we're going to talk about this in a second, but I want to flag a little bit of a warning.
If it's something that you screwed up that you shouldn't have, don't use it.
Don't use it.
No, I wasn't.
I don't think I was going to include that.
But yes, that's very important.
Like, for example, imagine in business, like if you and I had plans to record and you just completely forgot.
And I am there waiting for you on the microphone and I email you and I say Michelle Michelle, where are you?
We had this plan.
You would not want to say, ah, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I missed it.
No.
Oh my God.
No, that would be terrible.
That would be so rude.
Do not say that.
So this is for things that honestly you really can't control, right?
The weather, some event.
And also not really like huge disastrous things.
Like there was just a big wildfire in Colorado that actually some of our listeners wrote in to me and they said are you okay?
It happened about half an hour outside of Denver.
I'm sorry.
I didn't write to you.
I didn't get an email from you, Michelle.
I'm still waiting.
I didn't even know.
I haven't been watching TV.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
No, that's okay.
So I think a lot of people did lose their homes.
You wouldn't want to say this to them either.
So this is very specific.
Maybe we'll give some examples so our listeners will know when to avoid it and when to use it.
All right, definitely.
So yeah, so this first one is that's the way the cookie crumbles.
So crumble, I mean, that's, you know, how the cookie falls apart, basically.
Exactly.
So let's give an example.
Oh, man, I didn't get that job that I really wanted.
I'm so sorry, Lindsay.
It's okay.
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
On to bigger and better things.
So, yeah.
And we'll talk a bit more, right, that you probably wouldn't want to say that to me necessarily.
We can talk about it now.
That would have been...
I don't know.
Yeah.
If you said I didn't get the job and I said that's the way the cookie crumbles, that wouldn't be very empathetic.
Yeah.
I mean it's really yeah, because these are such.
They're kind of cliches, but they're sayings and they do have their moment right.
They have a great moment when they're perfect, but definitely not, especially if I really cared about the job.
I'm the only one who can say that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Right.
In that situation.
Right.
Like there may be other times and we can talk more about it, like when it could be okay to comment on someone else.
But in general, like if you want to make the safe choice, just use it about yourself.
Yeah, because they could care a lot more than you think, right?
Okay, the next one, Michelle, is that's the way the ball bounces.
Now, this one I haven't heard as much.
I guess I've heard it once or twice, but cookie crumbles.
And the next one after this is more common for me.
Do you say this one?
You know what?
I feel like these ones I heard on I Love Lucy episode.
It's like I'm talking about things from the 50s.
That's great.
But I do still hear these from time to time.
I think they're good to go over.
But yeah, it's like the same idea.
That's the way the ball bounces.
It's like...
You know, it's because it's this idea of like you bounce the ball and then you don't touch it anymore.
Right.
So you're kind of like surrender control.
Yeah.
I mean, that just gave me another episode idea.
Michelle, we should do a series of episodes on Decade Speak, like 1950s speak.
Oh, and 1960s speak.
I bet we could get some really good examples from tv shows and like because language does change a lot between the decades, doesn't it?
Uh yes, because language is always changing.
That's one of the things, probably one of the things you like about you know as well.
Absolutely so guys hit, follow to make sure you don't miss that.
That's going to be fantastic.
So this one is from the 50s.
Okay, all right, here we go, michelle.
I think i don't know.
All right, here we go role play.
Okay, all right.
Um yeah, you know what.
I was upset yesterday, but i feel better now.
Oh no, what's wrong?
Well, i found out my favorite doctor is leaving the practice.
Oh man, what a shame.
Yeah, that's the way the ball bounces.
Yeah.
And you might say it after you've kind of talked through it and you've come to a conclusion that you realize you actually feel that way.
It's just the way it is.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And that's another thing you could say.
Yeah, that's the way it is.
You know, like.
Yeah, that's the way it is.
Yeah.
That's kind of a more casual way of saying it, I guess.
Right.
Well, more maybe casual, more common actually yeah, exactly 2022, up to date yeah oh i, you know i'm back there in the 50s or potentially um, did you used to watch a lot of series from the 19, like tv series from the 1950s?
I love lucy and i'm not sure wonder.
Wonder years no no, Wonder Years no, that's like the 80s.
Wonder Years is like that 80s.
Okay, never mind, never mind um no, mostly just I Love Lucy.
Well, I don't know, I don't know when, like Bewitched, I mean, because I used to watch Nick at Night right like okay yeah Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie.
Yeah oh, so they play the old ones.
Yeah oh yeah, I mean, but I Love Lucy is the.
That's my favorite.
The classic one.
Everyone loves that.
I love it.
Yeah.
Okay, the next one.
What's the next one, Michelle?
All right.
So the next one is That's Life.
Yeah, That's Life.
Also much more commonplace, much more just typical, right?
Mm-hmm.
There's actually a Frank Sinatra song called That's Life.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Yeah so uh, it's an oldie but a goodie um, so here we go.
Um, i'm sorry you lost your phone.
Ah, that's life, it's all good.
I'll be more careful next time.
All right yes okay, that's again.
If you, if you said yes, that's true, you have a very good outlook on this.
Um, maybe it happened like a month ago, i don't know.
Yeah, a little too optimistic.
I think i would panic.
I think most people these days their whole lives are based around their phones.
Right yeah, i don't even like talking about this topic.
No no, you wonder where's my phone right now.
Do you know the truth?
Actually, sometimes I'll be writing a role play and like it's something, and then I realize like no no no, I don't even want to write about this because I don't want to jinx myself.
Isn't that weird?
And one of them is about the phone, but I don't know why I felt so daring.
Maybe because I made you lose.
You're a very superstitious person, Michelle.
Yeah, yeah, I don't even like to say it.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
We try not to bring these things on.
And the next one, though, Michelle is in French.
I love when and we have done another episode.
That's true.
Let me see if I can find real quick.
Do you want to introduce it?
I'll see if I can find the episode on French.
The next one is c'est la vie.
Right.
So I believe it translates to that's the life.
Right.
So that's life.
So guys, we use it.
Right.
Lindsay, don't we use it in the same way as like, oh, that's life.
Yeah, I would say.
Yeah, exactly.
That's life is you could say that in English or you could say c'est la vie.
Right.
It's kind of fun.
It's fun to throw in other languages.
Right.
Because don't we sometimes don't.
Is it possible that we also use that like, oh, like this is the life?
I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
Good question.
Like as in you're happy and things are good.
Yeah no, like you know, if you're sitting back reclining at the beach, if you say like ah, c'est la vie.
Actually, now I'm confusing myself.
Guys, if you speak French, write into us and tell us like how this is used.
But you have heard it also in the way of like...
Oh, c'est la vie.
And there's also a song, right?
I think there's a song with this as the title, a common freight, whatever lyric in it, for sure.
But yeah, that's what it means.
It's basically, oh, yeah, this is this is just how it is.
This is how it is.
So you have heard it like that.
Now I'm like confused.
I have.
But I'm not sure about the second example of where you're saying you're sitting back and you're saying ah, this is the life right.
Which is completely different, by the way, guys, right?
Which means I'm feeling good.
This is the ideal life.
Right.
Well, I'm looking in the dictionary now and it says from Merriam-Webster.
It says definition is.
That's how things happen.
That's life.
So I think I think maybe I made up the second one.
OK, you made it up.
We make up things.
That's OK.
And then we realize that they're not true.
All right.
So here we go.
But so let's let's give an example.
Here we go.
I'm bummed that I missed the show, but stay lovey.
Yeah, there'll be tons more, I'm sure.
Not sure about my French pronunciation there, but we'll see what our listeners have to say.
Listeners, tell us if I totally messed up the whole expression.
I love it.
The meaning or the pronunciation.
So just to reiterate, I mean again guys, be careful when you use this, when you say it to someone else who's just gone through something difficult, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Be careful.
Like, so for example, let's just do a role play of what not to do.
What not to do.
Here we go.
Oh, this is so disappointing.
I thought I'd win the contest.
Sorry, Lindsay.
That's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.
Yeah, that's very insensitive.
That's kind of saying I don't even care how you feel.
That's just that's what it is.
So get over it.
Right.
Right.
It's like saying get over it.
Get over it.
Exactly.
Anything else, Michelle, that our listeners need to know about this phrase?
It's very dynamic, but it's got to be careful.
Got to kind of tiptoe and make sure it's in the right moment.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
I mean, you know, I think in a way it's good just this, like these phrases kind of teach a lesson.
You know that, you know there's going to be ups and downs.
And so sometimes sometimes. they're helpful.
And just if we use them about our situations, maybe they're just like a little reminder, like okay, this is how things happen.
And I'm moving on.
I mean, yeah, for sure.
This we know for a fact, we know that, you know, in the US heart disease is a big, is a big killer in the United States.
And we know that things like this, if you fly off the handle or that's a great expression, by the way fly off the handle for everything that happens, you do increase your blood pressure.
Right.
And not to be fatalistic, but we, you know, that's why I like to meditate, because I can build that space, build that patience in life that I have more.
I can give more kind of grace to the world and say, oh, that happened.
And it's OK.
And I can and it's OK.
Like I'm going to things go on.
Right.
Right.
So try to find a way, guys whether it's exercise or whether it's meditation or just laughing more to find a way to deal with these things.
Right, Michelle?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So it's a very nice way to end the episode.
Talking about heart disease?
No, not talking about heart disease.
Actually, no, no, no.
But, you know, just the idea of letting things roll off your back and, you know.
Completely.
We like that philosophy.
All right.
This has been another good one, Michelle.
Guys, if you love the way we teach at All Ears English, which is focusing on connection, not perfection, then hit follow right now.
Good stuff.
Absolutely.
Okay.
This was fun, Lindsay.
Have a good rest of your day.
All right, Michelle.
Take care.
Bye.
Bye.
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