This is an All Ears English podcast episode 1481.
Three bulletproof ways to enter a group conversation in English.
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Former IELTS examiner Jessica Beck and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer.
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In today's episode get three things you can listen for when you enter a fast and chaotic group conversation, so that you can respond with confidence and precision in English.
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Hey, Jessica, how's it going today?
It's going great.
We had an awesome weekend.
We participated in a neighborhood parade.
And it's just, you know, it's so great to see people coming together and making an effort, right?
To be outside, to still be safe.
Everybody wore masks, but still we were like we wanted to be in a group together outside, you know like doing things.
So it was very positive.
Oh, that's awesome.
A group is the key right there, right?
I mean, being in community feels amazing.
You know what I mean?
And being able to talk to everyone and participate and have big laughs with them.
I mean, we're wired for this as humans.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
We need our survival instincts, right?
The deepest parts of our brains.
We need other people.
We are community pack-oriented creatures.
So yes, guys, community.
And you can build this one-on-one, of course, but...
The thing that we want to talk about today.
Guys in a group like, how do you become a part of a group, a productive person in a group right,
Understanding and sharing.
Yeah.
I mean, a lot of what you guys hear on this podcast, of course, is one-to-one conversation.
And that is great.
We know that you guys have improved your listening from 50 when you first found the show to 75 80, 90 at this point right.
If you've been listening for years, that's awesome.
But the next skill you really need to build is to survive in that way in a group, to be able to listen, understand what you're hearing and contribute right.
That's where the connection comes in.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Guys, we are going to talk about a specific strategy today so you can be better prepared, more confident when you are entering a situation that has two or more people talking right.
But guys, real fast.
There is one more opportunity to attend our web class that will give you mini strategies to participate and understand group conversations.
So guys, last chance.
Sign up.
Go to allearsenglish.com slash coffee.
Yes.
And there's going to be a special offer at the end of the web class that you won't see any other time, guys.
So you definitely want to get in there, get involved, because this is the way to build these skills that you really want.
So Jessica, let's get into that exact specific strategy then.
What is it?
What are we going for here?
Yeah.
So guys, here is one thing that you can do before a conversation, before you are going to listen, is to decide on your purpose for listening.
And I think this clears up a lot of difficulty because I think that the nerves take over, right?
And you get lost in that anxiety in your head where you're just like I am not understanding anything.
But guys, if you know what to listen for and why you're listening, then you know what to focus on, right.
You know what information you need in order to accomplish your purpose.
Yeah.
And again, this is backed by science.
Jessica, you have your master's degree in applied linguistics.
So science proves that this works.
This wires your brain in a way that you enter that situation looking for something and you find it.
Yeah, exactly.
Guys, this is another way to take control of the situation.
I feel like a lot of our strategies, both on the IELTS side and this side, is like how can you guys take control of your English right?
And this is a great example of that.
Ooh, I like that.
Take control of your English.
That's a good thing to think about.
Good angle on it here.
Take control of that situation.
Okay, so Jessica, let's get into the details.
I mean, how exactly do we do this?
We have three different scenarios, right?
Yeah, okay.
So here is one purpose you might have.
I think this is sort of the easiest purpose, so we're going to talk about it first.
So what if you need to listen for specific details, like you're only needing very specific information, and so you know exactly what you're listening for, right?
And you don't really care about all the other stuff, right?
So here's an example, guys.
What if you are in a group of people speaking English and it's like a bunch of friends or maybe new friends that you want to get to know better?
And the group is discussing what they want to do next week, right?
They all want to go out to dinner for someone's birthday, for example.
So What do you need from that conversation, guys?
Like, Lindsay, what would you need to listen for?
Yeah, I mean I would listen, for first of all maybe what kind of food they like or what kind of food the person whose birthday it is likes right,
I would listen in for those special important details around.
Okay, what kind of restaurant are we going for?
What kind of setup are we expecting?
Are we expecting a loud, crowded party type of atmosphere?
Are we looking for something more intimate?
I would also be looking for who might be able to come, who might be available to join, right?
Because then I know how many people to plan for.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
So if you're listening for the kind of food if we take that first example right then you know what you can share in that conversation, right?
So you make that decision that you're going to listen for their suggestions about the kind of food they want to eat.
And so you could be ready with a suggestion for a restaurant, right?
So you're like, okay, that is your goal for this conversation.
I am going to share my opinion about the best restaurant, for example.
Yes.
Yeah.
The other thing, maybe you're listening for what kind of diets do people have?
And that would help you gather that information and make that suggestion again.
These days, a lot of people are gluten-free or vegetarian, vegan, whatever it is.
It can get a little complex.
Totally.
So listening for those kinds of details would be key too.
Yeah, for sure.
And you know what guys like.
If you are sort of new to the group and you're not in a place of decision making yet, but you're invited right, then you don't have to have a lot of input, right.
You just need to know where to go.
And when.
So maybe all you're listening for is the date, the time and the name of the restaurant.
Right.
So like baby steps, like don't require yourself to do too much.
Maybe that is enough for that conversation.
Yeah, but this would be so important.
Whether you're planning the party or whether you're just attending the party.
You need to be able to catch these details, guys.
And going into it with that purpose of what you need to know kind of helps to eliminate all the rest.
Totally.
Yeah.
Because I mean, come on, you guys, you don't have to understand every word all the time.
Right.
So if we take that pressure off of ourselves, we'll be able to be confident in a lot more situations.
Right.
Because it all, again, it comes. back to your purpose.
So that's the first purpose.
I think that's the most clear cut.
What's another example of a purpose, Lindsay?
All right.
And this is also a really great way to practice, guys.
So let's imagine that you are listening to a news channel, for example, CNN, right?
Often there are three, four, maybe five talking heads on there at the same time.
And by the way, what's a talking head, Jessica?
Since we're talking about this.
I know.
Yeah.
So guys, a talking head is when you have like, a box on the screen and all you see is the speaker's head, right.
Is their face.
So you see this a lot on news channels. when they're discussing some contentious topic.
And so they invite guests from both sides.
And you might have two to four talking heads, little boxes filling the screen of different people.
Right.
And then you, and then you might have like a main anchor.
Who's then, who maybe also was a talking head kind of, but he's also delegating the conversation.
He's asking people.
He's he's kind of the facilitator, let's say.
Yeah, he or she.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
So in that situation, guys, like what are you listening for?
So maybe you're just listening for jokes.
Maybe you just want to know the general opinions on both sides.
You don't need all the specific details or the reasons yet.
Maybe you're just trying to understand a situation.
Maybe, if you're new to this culture, you're just trying to understand the general opinions people have.
So in that case, you would be listening for just and that just means the main idea.
So, yeah, I think that eliminates a lot of pressure as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I just want to say I think something like this, like once you know what you're listening for, it comes down to practice.
Right.
And that's why you know, when you do attend the web class guys, later in the week you're going to understand exactly how to get that practice in a way that's very accessible for you.
That's made for you.
That's not just rough, raw material out in the wild, but it is very natural.
The material we're going to give you guys.
OK, so.
Yeah.
For sure.
Because, like I'm sure guys, as you're listening, maybe you're thinking I can't understand all those natives on CNN.
Yeah, like some of these news people speak very quickly.
So yeah, I mean, before you get to that point, there is an intermediate step of practice for sure.
Yeah.
And they're already crazy enough, right?
I know.
All those talking heads.
I just can't imagine being in politics, especially right now.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Anyways, moving on, Jessica.
So what's our third strategy that our listeners can employ right away?
All right, cool.
So guys, this strategy is a more active strategy, because your purpose here is that you want to participate.
You want to share your opinion, okay?
So a great example of this is at a work meeting.
There's going to be a group of people talking and maybe you really want to share an opinion that is a change in the company or on a project, or you have a new idea that you want to share with people.
So, Lindsay, in that situation, what would people listen to before they share their opinion?
Totally, yeah.
That's not necessarily the problem you guys have.
A lot of what you guys struggle with which is what I understand is that you struggle to interject when you do have good things to say.
What a shame if you have something really smart and interesting to say, but you just can't quite interject.
Right.
We want to get you to the point where you can do that.
Yeah.
Yeah. exactly.
Um, and you know the reason why you are not participating the way you want to.
Guys, it doesn't always come down to vocabulary and grammar, right?
Like so many of these, um, problems that we hear from students, it's not about the words themselves.
It's about the confidence.
It's about like being too nervous to understand these native speakers, let alone share your new idea, right.
Oh my gosh.
I like this idea of like this purpose is your intention, right?
You promise yourself that you are going to share this idea during the meeting, right?
Like that is the promise to yourself.
And so what do you listen to before that?
Well, you don't want to repeat anybody else's ideas.
So that's one thing you're listening for, like, is that the same idea as mine?
Oh, OK, maybe I don't have to share it.
And then you're also listening for people that might have reasons against what you're saying.
So you're like preparing ahead of time, like, OK, this is how I will counter that disagreement.
Right.
Kind of counter their objections right from the start.
And then we can start to add in the vocabulary piece where we can articulate that we are recognizing their objection, what they're likely to object to, and hedge on that right from the beginning.
So good.
But the key piece, the foundational piece here is the listening.
It's getting that information so you know how to respond.
Yes, exactly.
Guys, if you don't understand, like if you're in a meeting and everybody's going around the table sharing ideas and sort of like, not arguing aggressively but, you know, debating each other on the ideas
If you don't understand what everybody is saying, you're not going to be able to add your piece, right?
You're not going to be able to show your real self and how smart you are in English if you don't understand what other people are saying.
So that's why.
This web class, guys, this last chance to come to this web class is so important.
It's going to be so good.
I know this is really going to resonate with a lot of you guys.
Maybe you are in our business English course, right?
Or you are just doing business in English a lot.
Make sure you sign up for this web class, right?
It's going to add that extra layer of skills that you really need to succeed.
In any group situation, whether it's social or at work.
Okay.
Yeah, exactly.
So one more time, Jessica, where can they go to sign up?
Yeah.
Sign up, guys. allearsenglish.com slash coffee.
So again, guys, this is a web class, a free live web class.
And you're going to learn these listening strategies, like Lindsay said.
It's for fast group conversations that happen at work, that happen at school, that happen anywhere everywhere in the world in English guys.
So you need to get these strategies first.
Yeah.
And the cool thing that's unique about this one is that all four of us are going to be on the web class.
We've never done this before.
It's brand new.
You guys, this is going to be crazy.
All four of us.
Who knows what will happen?
It's live, right?
Come find out what's going to happen.
Find out what happens.
Yeah, exactly.
Guys, go to allearsenglish.com slash coffee.
Catch the very last date coming up on Saturday.
And then it's over and we're not sending out a recording.
You're never going to see it again.
Okay, guys.
All right.
Just good.
Thanks for hanging out today.
My pleasure.
Have a good day, Lindsay.
Take care.
Bye.
Bye.
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