Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cress Podcast. I'm Crystal and I'm G-Soo.
Before we jump into our topic today, I kind of have a story to share and it is kind of related to our topic
but not really. But anyway,
basically this past weekend we went on a trip to Austin, Texas and we had a lot of fun and it was like a short but packed trip and I think we all
got home and were like pretty tired, I guess. At first I didn't think much of it, but I think it was Monday or Tuesday
I realized like I was kind of a mess and
maybe it just goes to show that we're older now and we need more time to recover
but it was truly a mess because Monday it was like okay because I had no meetings, there was nothing to worry about.
But at the end of the day I asked my coworker, I was like,
do you need my help for like the filming that we're gonna do tomorrow and if yes, just let me know when I should come into the office.
He said, oh the filming's on Wednesday come at this time. I was like okay,
I wake up on Tuesday and my brain is broken apparently and I think that the filming is Tuesday not Wednesday.
So I'm like driving to work and I'm like, oh shoot, we have a meeting right before filming time.
So I should be able to make it right in time for the meeting and it'll be nice because I can see my coworkers in person.
I arrive and it's also raining. I run to the door to get in. I reach for my badge. I'm like, oh, I forgot my badge.
And the meeting was literally like starting. It was like happening. So I was like, oh fuck, I run back into my car
and I literally take the meeting in my car camera off though because I just I'm too embarrassed.
Right. After the meeting ends, I'm like, okay, well, I should be able to get a temporary badge.
So I go into one of the lobby areas, get a temporary badge and I'm like, okay, cool.
I go back into the office and during this time I also texted my coworker. I was like, oh, sorry, like, forgot my badge, but I'll be there soon.
I'll be like 10 minutes late for the recording or whatever. And he was like, oh, no worries. He's like, by the way, the recording is actually tomorrow.
And I was like, wait, what? I like scroll back up in our text and I was like, oh my god, he literally said Wednesday.
And I'm here on Tuesday.
So I go in and I sit down on my desk and then my skip walks by maybe five minutes later. And she's like, oh, hi, Crystal.
And I was like, holy fuck, literally. I was just remote in our meeting, our team meeting.
And she walks by and sees me at my desk. She's probably like, where did Crystal come from?
Why wasn't she here in person for the meeting? That was just five minutes ago.
Oh, God.
Yeah, I was so embarrassed, but the day doesn't even end there. So I decide I'm like, okay, well, I'm at the office.
So might as well stay and work for a bit and then lunchtime rolls around. And I'm like, dude, I don't know if I can show my face to my coworkers for lunch.
So I'd like run off to another building. I knew I had a meeting at like 1230.
But in my mind, I like mixed it up and I thought it was at one. So I'm in the other building without my laptop.
But I do have my work phone with me. I'm eating lunch. I'm checking the time to make sure that I have enough time to like get back to my laptop by one and everything.
But then suddenly, I'm like, okay, well, let me just take a look at my calendar. I'm like, wait, why does it say it's at 1230? And it's like 1229.
Right now at this point in the story. So I'm like, holy shit.
So I like scarf down the rest of my food and clean up. And then I run back to my car and I literally take the meeting on my phone once again, sitting in my car.
And I'm like, dude, I literally came to the office and all the meetings that I could have taken in person. I ended up taking on my phone in my car.
You're like, why haven't you been here anyway?
So after that embarrassment, I just like went back to my desk and I like sat there and did some work for maybe 30 minutes. And then I just packed my things and I was like, dude, I'm just like to embarrass to stay here for this day.
Dude, this is like way more running than a normal day in the office. Just like running from meeting to meeting.
Yeah. And I was like, oh my goodness. So you know, Wednesday, the actual day of filming. I'm like, okay, I'll be there.
But then come Wednesday. We had like a meeting in the morning. It ran a bit over. So I ended up being a little late to the filming.
Technically, it was like just to be safe. Be there an hour early. But I ended up being there like, I don't know, 40 minutes early.
It wasn't a huge issue or anything. But I felt so bad. I was like, oh my god. First yesterday happened. And now this is happening.
No. Dude, I started. God Austin did something to us because I also had a week full of struggles where I was like, I don't feel normal.
Like I'm in like recovery mode or something. Dude, I was like, is this like brain fog? Like am I okay? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Luckily, you know, everything was good. And my coworkers are all super nice and understanding. So they were like, oh my god, like you forgot your badge. Let us know if you need our help or anything.
I was like, thank you. You're like, I need to go home immediately. Yeah.
I was like, I'll see you guys tomorrow.
Oh my god. Well, at least you made it to the weekend safely. Yeah.
And I made a tear recording and everything.
By midway through the filming on Wednesday, everything was like starting to feel normal again. You know, I'm not falling apart and like,
missing things or just barely getting to things anymore. That's good. That is good. Damn, I feel like my story isn't as chaotic or as good as yours, but I will take a step anyway.
So I think I had a relatively normal week. There I say even good. One of the days I did something that is like mildly embarrassing.
So if anyone has even attempted to start a conversation with me in the last month, I probably talked your ear about my obsession with the show succession.
It is huge on HBO. The new season just dropped. There's a lot of talk and hype around it. I naturally was drawn in and like the crazy person I am in the last month.
I rewatched seasons one to three three times, which is just insane. Oh my god. It's about like 90 hours of TV watching. So, you know, that's been my life lately.
But I have been really obsessed with one of the main characters on the show. He actually had a magazine cover shoot with GQ, like the men's magazine.
And I was like, fuck, I'm like a little embarrassed to buy it. And if I could buy it online, I totally would. But, you know, you either have to buy it on like eBay, which I don't really use.
Or you have to like straight up purchase a annual subscription or something, which I was like, I don't want for GQ magazine. Like I won't even read it this side like his part, right.
So I mustered up the courage to go into Barnes and Noble and buy a copy of the magazine. And it was like really embarrassed.
Okay. I think I was just like pre-embarassed walking into the store already. And I was like, you know, loitering in the magazine area, like in the men's section, like scouring through, like flipping through shit to find the addition that I wanted.
And then when I walked up to the counter to buy it, I'm probably, you know, projecting like my own embarrassment. But I swear for a second, me and the cashier both just looked down at the magazine, like stared at it for like a half second too long. And then she was like, well, this be it for today. And I was like, yeah. And I was kind of like, fuck, should I have gotten a book or something, like at least cover it.
Because the like cover of the magazine, he's kind of like man spreading his legs. So it's kind of like raunchy, right. And I was like, thank God it's not one of those like, topless, like so many.
But I was just like, oh God, can this go any faster. And then she was like, do you want a bag? And then I was like, I'm just buying one magazine. Like, do you think I should get a bag?
I was like, should I get a bag? But did you actually ask her? No, no, but when she asked me, she was like, do you want a bag? I was like, I don't know.
Is this embarrassing to walk out like, you know, just clutching one magazine. But my car was right there outside the door. So I was like, no, it's okay. You know, we checked out and left. But I don't know. It was very embarrassing.
I felt a little bit exposed in my obsession for this person. So yeah, that's that. When James saw, because he was in the car with me, when he saw what I purchased from Barnes and Noble, he's like shook his head.
I was like, I'm sorry. So James waited in the car. Yeah, you go in on your own.
Exactly. And I did kind of give them a heads up. I was like, I'm going to go buy this GQ magazine. Please don't judge me. And he was like, yeah, I'm not judging you, but I'm not going in there with you.
I was going to say James should have went in with you. I should have made him buy the magazine. Like, you know, take it to the front. If anything, you could have been like, oh, yes, for my, it's for my boyfriend.
I know what that makes me look so guilty. I was like, I'm just not going to say anything. I was like, I can't make eye contact with this cashier right now.
That's so funny. It's like teenage era vibes, you know, when we have like posters of our favorite actors or like pop stars on the wall and stuff like that.
I know exactly, except this time it's like a 45 year old man, but I'm like, that's the over at the healthy age of 26.
So does he have like a whole interview in it? And did you read it?
I did read it. And it was pretty good interview, actually. And I guess if I really wanted to, I could have just found a copy of it, like online or something.
But I was like, might as well indulge in my obsession a little bit while it's like a fresh and fun.
But the only issue now is I don't know where to store it. It's definitely not something I'm going to like pin up on the wall or anything.
And it doesn't really fit in my bookshelf because it's not a book. And it's definitely not like a coffee table.
I just force everyone to read it when they come over.
Guys, check out this new book we got.
Like turned to page 67. Don't ask me why that page is so creased.
Maybe now is the time to invest in one of those like magazine holders for the bathroom.
So it could be your first bathroom magazine. That's true. That's true.
It definitely deserves a better home than sitting on top of all like my, you know, paperwork and like journals on my desk.
You know, or you can put it in a picture frame.
That's a good idea. Really? Yeah. Well, I'll probably have to hide the picture frames somewhere not like on the wall. Like not visible.
You can put it right on top of your fireplace.
There's zero pictures of me and James. It's just this picture of you.
It's a struggle of being a fan girl sometimes. I love that though. You got to do what you got to do. Yeah. Yeah.
Just $10. Kind of pricey for a magazine, but you know, support the man.
It's like buying a singer's album, right? True, true.
I just wish the cover wasn't so like, modly sexual.
Anyways, enough about us and going into more about us.
The topic of this week is actually advice for our past selves.
So I think over the years, it's very natural to kind of have new reflections and new revelations that mature your minds that a little bit.
And I wouldn't say at this age were like completely at our end game level of maturity.
But we definitely have learned a thing or two that we wouldn't have known at 22 or 18 or even 14 16.
So today we wanted to kind of go through some significant moments in our life and see if now as 26 year olds,
we would have any advice that we would give our past selves.
Yeah, it's kind of crazy to think like going into this year, actually, I just already accepted that I'm 27.
So even though I'm still 26 for like a couple of weeks, I in my mind, I'm already 27.
So I think it's kind of weird to think about like our age and like how far we've come.
College for us was over four years ago now.
High school like, you know, over eight years, almost 10.
It's truly shocking in a sense to think about.
Yeah, I totally agree. And I think even when I look back just a couple years, I feel like my mindset and my approach to certain things has changed a lot.
I think they say that your brain is supposed to develop until 26. So maybe at least our brain size is at its peak right now.
But I do feel like if I look back on certain decisions or like my emotional reactions to certain moments in my life when I was younger,
I'm like, wow, I would react so differently now in this current age and knowing all the things that I know now.
Let's go kind of far back then the first key moment I want us to think about because I think this might be one of the bigger moments of our younger lives, which is choosing a major when you are applying to college.
Do you think your approach would be kind of different when you think about it now.
So that's a toughy. I think something that I realized looking back at the entire like college application process and like choosing majors and stuff was that I really had no idea what college was.
You know, verbally you hear a lot of things about, oh, the right college changes your entire life and your major determines your job and like mentally you know these phrases and words, but I don't think it necessarily translated into like my decision making process as much.
Going into college, I applied to all my schools as either a sociology major or an economics major sociology was something that I was really interested in and kind of like a big bulk of like the nonfiction books that I read at time were sort of these sociological pieces.
And I was like, yeah, this looks interesting. And looking back now, I'm like sociology was such a valuable thing for me to study, but it's not as easy of a track to follow or a ladder to climb as some other fields where there's really specific career paths.
The only one I really knew for sociology was maybe becoming a statistician, which I think you would then also have to study statistics or going into sociological research.
So when I entered college, I was like, I need something that looks better on paper or like maybe is tied to something more quantifiable or numerical. So I was like, I'm going to do econ and also minor and CS and I think it was cool to study all these things because they all kind of link to like data analytics, which is pretty much what I do now.
I think it was a little overwhelming in an academic sense. So I could totally have simplified what I wanted to do and maybe choose like one major and one minor instead of trying to double major and minor.
I think I did wish that I had sort of like a older sister type or like some sort of more mentor figure in my life who taught me exactly what college was because it was really cool to study all these things.
I think I went into it being like, oh, I want to study these things and less so like this is going to set me up for like a future job, if that makes sense.
So a lot of STEM. Right, right.
It's a lot of math.
I think I can agree. We had no idea what college was maybe the closest thing was what you see in media, which is like grossly exaggerated. They played to like the social aspect of college, but even then it's like not even accurate because every school is different.
I just remember that like all I knew was I didn't want to do computer science as a major because that's like the area that my parents studied and I was like I literally have no interest in this.
But like that's all they knew so they're always like just do computer science like it's such a solid major which they're completely right like it's a solid major. It's a good like industry to be in especially because we live in the Bay.
Right.
But I was just like, fuck no.
But then out of everything else, I like didn't even know what I wanted to do. But what I ended up doing was I chose econ, I believe for most of my applications.
The only reason that came up was because I had been signed up for like it's essentially like tutoring except it's for like college prep. Right. So like they help you with your essay writing and then they kind of like help you choose your major and stuff.
I don't know if it was like truly that much help for me personally, but I'm sure a lot of other people actually got something out of it. But I think I was just like too lost to fully take advantage of their help.
I was like, yeah, I don't know. I guess business could be cool because I don't know like when you grow up you go do work in business.
Like businesses is where you go to like get a job. You're like there's business everywhere. There's a lot of them.
So I was like, hey, business maybe.
And but then like, you know, of course there's the whole like specific thing about like undergrad business school, only certain schools have that and they're like really prestigious.
So then the person was like, well, you can try to go for econ. And I was like, sure, whatever you say.
I was also maybe a little confusing because I at the time I really liked graphic design, but I just didn't know if it was like a real job route.
Like I didn't know because I've never seen it before at that point in time that like you could have a full time like nine or five job as a designer essentially.
So yeah, I was very confused and lost going in and like my major choice was just sort of random, but I guess like it all ended up working out. Okay.
Yeah, I think that's like one of the most difficult parts of that time.
You're kind of choosing your future job, not really. And of course in college, depending on how flexible your institution is like you can switch majors like you did crystal.
And even if you don't, I feel like things tend to end up okay, like relatively fine.
But I think the pool of knowledge you have of like what careers exist are so limited.
So in college, I worked a student job. I still keep in touch with my old manager there.
And she actually reached out and said, hey, you know, this student who currently works for me has a really similar like academic background to you.
So can I set you up on a call with him and you can maybe talk him through like how you ended up in your career and what your current career looks like, et cetera, et cetera.
So we did do that call. I was kind of explaining to him like the whole job application process and like how I ended up being my current position, which is like a demand planner.
And I was like, yeah, I didn't even know this position existed, but I started off as like an entry level, whatever, like entry level analyst and grew into this position, you know, people should kind of know about these like more niche jobs because there's demand for these jobs.
But it's just like you learn how to do it on the job too.
So one of the things I kind of regret from both high school when I was applying to college, as well as like end of college applying to jobs was, oh, I should have maybe reached out to people who are currently working or like new grads or something like that and kind of gotten exposure to things that were beyond my knowledge.
Instead of trying to work from like what I currently know, because I think it is a little bit limiting. And I think part of it is like when you're from an immigrant family, your reach is limited to a certain sense.
Yeah. And maybe there's less diversity in like what you see in your daily life, but that doesn't really stop you from like doing the reach out yourself. So I was kind of like, I really respect the student for like wanting to set up these networking calls or whatever.
True. So I guess like my tips if like I were to speak to myself in that moment of like choosing major for college.
I would probably tell myself to like not be afraid to look more into like that graphic design industry and even like, because now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, wait, I was kind of stupid.
Like I had contacts who are older than me by like a year or two, who also had interest in like graphic design or just like art, I guess.
And I could have reached out to them while they were in college. I could have been like, oh, hey, what are you majoring in? Like what's it like? Is it worth it or do you like it?
But I foolishly just kept to myself and was like, yeah, I don't know if this is like a possibility. I'm just going to aim for business because businesses exist.
No, I totally feel that it's so funny looking back because once you have industry knowledge and stuff, you're like, oh, there's so many opportunities. But when you're young, you're just like Dr. lawyer, engineer business.
There's also a lot of different majors as well. I remember there being this really interesting major at our school UCSD.
It was called like ICAM or something and it was basically like interactive art, but also with like CS attached to it kind of so it was like kind of this mix between art and like STEM.
And it was like a pretty niche and specific program that I learned about later after joining school and like seeing a friend or two in it and being like, wow, that's like a really cool major.
If I had known about it, maybe I would have done more research and like even thought about doing that major.
Yeah, that sounds like a really cool major actually. And I think that's also a good point. It's like, even once you get into college, there's still opportunities out there.
So as long as you do the research and show interest and kind of commit to like wanting to know what your future plans are, then I think there's always a way to move forward, even if you feel maybe stuck in the major you were admitted in for.
We were so young and foolish, back then.
I think like the idea too of like reaching out to strangers or just people who are even a little older than you felt so scary because those like, I'm like just a kid though.
I think it still feels scary to me now too. It's like you kind of put yourself out there a little bit, even if you're not truly being vulnerable, like it sort of feels like it. And at least for me, I think there's a little bit of like a pride and ego thing too of like,
oh, I can do the research by myself. There's like stuff I can Google, but it's just so valuable hearing like firsthand experiences agreed.
I actually very occasionally get like emails now as a working adult.
Sometimes get emails from students who are like studying art and college, something like graphic design or maybe even UX or something, not that I do UX, but they'll they'll email me and be like, oh, like as part of this class assignment, I'm supposed to email someone who's like working in the industry and ask you a bunch of questions.
And if I'm like kind of slow to respond, I always try to respond to them and I write these like long as emails, I'm like, oh, at the end, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry if I like said too much, but like, hopefully, that's sweet.
You're like, shit, I wish I did this when I was young. Exactly. Yeah, I'm like, oh, my God, these people like, put themselves out there and like reached out. So I'll try my best to like, help them because I feel like also my personal experience, like figuring out the possibility.
And like validation of like a graphic design career felt very like confusing. I felt very lost. I felt like it wasn't even possible at some points.
So like when people ask me about it, I'm always happy to be like, oh, it's like it's doable. Like you just got to look into it or like do these things or whatever.
Me and my friend, we talk about it a decent amount of Amanda, who's been on the podcast before because she's also in graphic design. And sometimes I'll ask her about like some of the things that she's gone through.
And she's like, yeah, I'm always happy to share this with you because I totally get it like there's not too many of us out there, at least from our like high school connections and like that kind of stuff.
So being able to share as much information with each other as possible just helps us understand our standings kind of, you know, like that we're doing okay. We're like, oh, okay. Yeah, like I'm doing okay. You're doing okay. We're all okay right now.
I love that. I love that.
So next significant moment in our life is something that could be potentially kind of juicy, but I want to talk about our first love slash first heartbreak.
This is another notes.
I know it's in prompt to I'm sorry.
So if you go back to I guess your state of mind during your first love slash first heartbreak, what is a piece of advice that you would give to yourself back then?
Huh, I don't know.
I think I would probably just tell myself like, you'll get your shit together. Like you better than this.
Like you need to understand yourself worth more.
You know, something something along those lines, except maybe, you know, not so harsh. I'll be like softly get your shit together.
You know, with like a warm hug.
This one is kind of funny because I feel like the worst, at least for me, the worst thing that someone could say to you when you're going through a breakup is like, oh, like on to better things or like there's more efficient to see it's like, I know, like mentally I know that statistically there's like what, like 3.5 billion other men out there.
In the world or whatever, but it still hurts a lot, right?
And I think what I used to try to do during breakups was like, oh, like fuck this guy.
Like I don't care.
Like, you know, he's the worst and almost villainized them in a sense in my head in order to try to make the breakup go easier or like more smoothly.
Well, it does sort of feel cathartic while you're doing it. I feel like in the long run, that is just not healthy of a attitude to have it all and people aren't black and white like evil or good people.
I think I would almost encourage myself to feel the sadness more and really allow myself to mourn and get over it so that I could like actually move on.
Because I think if I look back at some of my previous heartbreaks, I think it took me like a while to kind of get over it emotionally, even if mentally and like in my lifestyle, I was moved on.
So I guess just indulge in the wallowing a little bit, allow myself to feel the things that need to be felt that way you don't harbor them for longer than you need.
And it's just you give it the moment of respect that it needs or whatever.
Yeah, I think maybe I would also tell my younger self like, you don't need to worry about boys too much, like just focus on yourself.
And that's probably like maybe even unintentionally a better way to like get guys if that's what your goal is, right?
Wait, that's such a good point.
Yeah.
I think we're just like to caught up in like other things when we're younger that we forget to work on our own self esteem a bit more, which I think is just ultimately better in the long run.
Yeah, I think that's such a good point too, because when you're young and going through like puberty and just constantly seeing a billion people every day at high school, I feel like it's so easy to be insecure.
Like a shortcut for validation is like getting it from men, which isn't a healthy coping mechanism and is definitely something that I used to use as like a quick fix.
But you're right, it's like these guys come and go unless of course he's like the one you're stuck with yourself for like the next hundred years.
So might as well look internally and work on yourself, but I do know that if I'm going back into like my 16 year old body or whatever and trying to think of myself receiving this advice, like I would take it so poorly, I would be like, you don't know anything.
That's true.
This is real love.
I feel like what the fuck are you talking about? I'm fine. Exactly. So I guess it's one of those things you maybe have to live through to understand.
Sometimes like no advice will get through to someone unless they're willing to accept it and sometimes you're just not willing.
It's true. And honestly, like I guess if I really had to logic with myself back then, just on a numbers level.
How many guys are viable candidates or whatever at your high school, maybe like 20, 30 max.
And then in college, the pool just expands and then post college, it expands. And this is of course more like the days where you didn't really have dating apps or they weren't as common.
But you know, like there's just more people out there.
Statistically, 20 guys, the ones not going to be in those 20 people, you know.
Okay, I think also it's hard because like if you tell a high school or this, you'll fuck relationships, just like focus on yourself.
They're probably like, no, like what the hell is wrong with you? I'm kind of extra.
It's everything, you know? That's true.
And then later they're like, shit, I guess I didn't have to like be so distracted by these things.
Yeah. I know. I feel so serious back then everything does. And then later you're like, damn, I was young.
Dude, I think maybe one piece of advice, maybe not for high school, but for like college or whatever.
One piece of advice could be like, dude, like dating apps are about to be invented. So you might as well just try to meet people as organically as you can now before it's too late.
And that just doesn't happen anymore.
Holy fuck, it's like time traveler advice. Like there's going to be this thing called hinge. Be careful.
I guess speaking on like general college advice, is there any general high school advice you would have?
High school is kind of a blur.
You're making me feel old.
It's just that like, because also in the Bay Area, a lot of schools can be pretty competitive.
I feel like I was just like surviving.
That's true. I guess my advice would be to try not to get to in my head about like competition and like comparisons as hard as like easier said them done.
Yeah, that's a good one because I feel like sometimes it's on a bigger level and sometimes it's on a smaller level.
I think especially in high school labels are kind of a big thing. And I have no idea how schools are like now, but back then it was almost like there were people categorized as smart.
And then there were like the artsy people, whatever. And it almost felt like once the label was affixed to you, like that was what the fate of doom was.
And I think a lot of people with a stronger sense of self at that age were totally fine breaking out of those buckets.
But at least for me, like I felt like I kind of clung to those labels a lot, which kind of restricts like your freedom a little bit.
And I was like, I was building like a character or something where it was almost like, instead of me thinking, oh, I enjoyed this and I enjoyed that.
So maybe I should study this in college. It was almost like, oh, someone told me that they think I'm good at this or like someone told me that they think I'm good at that.
And then that's what kind of shaped what I wanted to do in the future, which is really bizarre. But that's just how it was like I was almost waiting for people to tell me who I was or like what they thought I would be in the future.
And if I had a little bit more confidence and self assurance and really thought and prioritize about what I wanted or what I was good at inside my head, then maybe I wouldn't have had such a hard time trying to figure that out later in like my early 20s or something.
Yeah, that makes total sense. I think I probably also fell into that a lot too. It's just easy to be like, oh, well, this is what I'm labeled as. Well, then I guess I'll just stick to that.
Exactly. It's like you think I'm that well, I can be that.
It's like build a bear.
Dude, I just thought of like a genius piece of advice though for my high school self. Basically, I like here right now would concoct a whole plan.
So like, okay, so like in high school, this is what you should do to like go against the norm. And then, you know, you can be like the slightly odd one out. And then you'll have something to write about for your college essays as well.
You can be like, oh, yeah, you know, I didn't get super sucked into all the competitive stuff. So I didn't like, you know, take all the expected classes. And I just did whatever I wanted to do.
And maybe that doesn't lend me at the top 1% of like students in the school, but it like lands me in a place where I'm happy with myself. And like what I do.
And then I can probably get into a college that would fit those interests. And then dude, I just planned out the entire high school life.
Oh, shit. If there's like a time reset right now, we're transported back to 14. Then you might be getting into Harvard.
I'll be like, yes, this one followed their dreams and didn't like succumb to pure pressure. Yeah, we'll take them.
I want that one.
No, I think that that makes total sense too. And it kind of makes me think about how in my family, they didn't really know what the college at process looked like, but they of course have like online resources that my parents were looking at.
And my parents would also talk to parents who had like older kids than me. So they were like, okay, Jesus, you do volunteer at this place and you do this and that. And not so much the high school clubs, but definitely the after school stuff they had a really heavy hand in.
I think part of that is like, of course, they want me to be ambitious and set me up for like a good future. But I think also what it was was, I probably didn't show specific interests and stuff.
So then they were like, I'll just go ahead and set these things up for you, which I am very grateful for. But if I were to do it again knowing what I know now, it's like, yeah, I should have maybe had interests and like, you know, cared about stuff outside of my like 14 year old social life.
Right. And thought more long term in terms of my life and look more internally about like things I enjoy. And maybe that way I could have carved out more of a path for myself rather than saying yes to everything that I was sort of guided into doing.
Because I think also like after my parents stopped telling me like what to do in whatever aspects, it took me a long time to like understand what I was supposed to do. And I was kind of like, dude, I kind of miss having someone tell me exactly what my daily schedule is or what my long term goals should be or what my five year plan is maybe I would have been less of a transition.
I see, I see. Yeah, that kind of got me thinking like a lot of things that happen in high school and honestly in college to can feel kind of like performative looking back where you know, you're just doing something because you heard it's good and not necessarily because you actually have an interest in it.
Right. In some ways can be good because maybe ends up sparking an interest and then you know that can become a whole thing for you in the future. But then also sometimes it can definitely be counterproductive because then it's like, oh, I don't really care about this.
I'm just doing it for like the apps or whatever or like the resume boost or anything like that. And then in those instances, it's like not as helpful.
I guess it's like a difficult balance to find what is worth seeing through to the end and what is worth just being like, you know, I really just don't like this. So like, let me just try to find something else.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. And since I've had such bad baby fever lately, I always think about like, what will I do for my kids? I'm like, I want them to engage in more discussion about what they like and what they want to do.
And maybe have it be less of a guided conversation of this is what I think you should do. But really have them explore, even if it's just like qualities of what they want to do, you know, like if they want to help people, then these are like the career paths that you might enjoy or if you want to write a lot, then you might want to do these things and just fuck what is called like ladder game it, you know, or just like make like a decision tree of some size.
Make it a little easier for them. I do have a little bit of a more lighthearted piece of advice I would give to my high school self, you know, high school dances and such.
I think one of the things that I regret is I bought like really high stiletto heels for each of the high school dances that I want to not the direction of the school.
I'm sorry, it's very lighthearted, but I regret some mind. And each year there was like a different trend, right? So like I think our junior year, the lady Gaga, like studs and spiky stud heels and sparkly shit was in.
So I have these like I swear to God, they're like five inch six inch platforms, the let oh heels with studs on the back, like spikes.
And it's like sparkly black and I bought it for the winter formal that year, because my day was like super tall. Halfway through the dance, I was like I cannot fucking walk in these.
I'm like dying in pain. I'm going to take them off. And I never wore them again after that. And they weren't the most expensive shoes, but they were like nice shoes. Like I think almost probably like $70 or something, which back then is kind of expensive.
They're just like untouched. I don't my parents might still have it. It might have made all the moves that they had from California to Korea to Jersey.
Yeah, so do not buy these useless ass $70, six inch platform heels.
I guess like if possible like rent a prom dress or whatever, but I don't I don't even know if that was a thing for us back then, right? Maybe not. Yeah, it's kind of weird because it's like well, no one's going to really wear a dress to like few dances in a row or something.
Right.
Even though that's like the practical answer, right? I'm thinking back to that as well. And it is like kind of wasteful when you when you think about it. Maybe the advice here is to start a business for prom dress, um,
resale, like selling to other people at different schools in the district. Oh my god, imagine how rich you would get you would break in the cash to
do that would be a resume boost for my business self. When you thought you wanted to go into business.
I'm like, wait, if you're trying to apply for business, just make a Facebook group for selling prom dresses for the district wide schools.
That's a business idea right there. I put it on your right and essay about it. And then you get into business school.
And then I guess you have to cut a profit or else they'll be like this person's too soft to be in business. So you'd be like, yeah, about like 5% per sale.
You're like, these are my margins.
I have one more high school advice. I think this kind of goes back to what we were talking about of like reaching out to people in college and such.
But one of the things that I wish I did was be less scared of older people at my high school.
I know that sounds kind of dumb, but when you go into school as a freshman and you see the seniors, they literally look like adults.
And I was like so scared of them. And there were a lot of really cool upper class men in my high school. And I was lucky to befriend a couple of them and keep I guess longer term friendships with them.
But still, I feel like if I was less shy and less scared, there could have been more meaningful connections that I could have forged.
People who are older than you are so cool. They are probably like you, but a couple of years older. So you can see them go through their life stages.
And it's like a preview of your own life. And I kind of regret that I was spending too much time being intimidated to actually try to get to know people.
That's a good one.
A for class men can definitely be like a pretty good resource, especially once they like go off to college, they could like tell you all about it if they're still nice.
True. Okay, I have a final moment for us. And it's not really like a specific moment. It's more just like I think in a college our lives start to deviate more.
It's like less formulaic where everyone's lives start to be a little more different. So is there any like key moment in a college that you think about now that you would love to like give yourself advice for at that time.
I think in some ways and anyone who's known me when I was like a freshman sophomore, junior even would probably laugh, but I think in some ways I wish I partied a little less.
And it's not as much of a direct regret as it is kind of like, oh, that was a little excessive.
I think I was really excited by the level of freedom and the level of intimacy almost that you have with people in college versus what you experience in high school.
And I probably enjoyed it a little bit too much. So definitely really fun memories that I love looking back on and I think made for some super funny stories with a lot of our good friends.
But if I tone it down maybe like 20% or so and then spent that 20% of energy focusing more on like my studies or my career path or even just networking and connecting with mentors and stuff, I feel like it could have been valuable.
And I turned out fine. So not as huge of a regret for sure, but still a little bit of a mischance there maybe.
Maybe I shouldn't have been as anti social in my freshman year.
I was like very anti social and also the university graced me with a single, you know, back then when we like signed up for our dorms and stuff, you could select like, oh, give me a single or whatever, but like you most likely wouldn't right.
I selected a single as my first choice and they actually gave me one and also like, dude, like this is amazing. But it was a con as well because the only friends I made were really in the beginning of the year when like,
like, G-Zoo, you and I and then like the other friends of that group kind of formed. And then after that was like, all right, I'm good. Like, I'm just going to be anti social except for when they asked me to hang out or play games or whatever.
I literally like did not befriend my dorm mates. I like hid from them. I was like scared of them. I don't know.
I was just one time where, because in the dorms back then, it's like the communal shower bathroom area. So I got up and I was like brushing my teeth or something.
And then one of my other dorm members like woke up to and like came to the bathroom to also brush her teeth wash her face. I was like, oh, God, like someone's next to me.
I was like internally freaking out. And then she was like, oh, my God, like, your skin is so nice and pale. Like, how do you keep it so?
And I was like, oh, I just, I just don't go outside.
I was like, I've been seeing sunlight since the first day of school. And also like in my room, I had a window. But I actually mostly kept the blind clothes in my dorm room.
Like, it was hard to tell if it was night or day. And I was just living very freely.
Dude, I remember your vampire days, your owl days actually.
Yeah. There's a period of time where I like left just to turn in homework. And then I would go back home.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I think that was also eye opening though, because I was like, whoa, okay, maybe I've let myself go a little too far.
Like, this is too much freedom. I shouldn't be in such a chaotic lifestyle, like just yet or not even ever, I guess, right?
So luckily by second year, I was like trying to get my shit together.
Yeah.
But yeah, maybe that's like, I should have been like at first year of me. Like, what the, what are you doing?
Play yourself together.
Dude, that's so funny too, because I hope a lot of our listeners can relate to this. But I think at some point in college, you like everyone just like hits rock bottom in some aspect or another where you're just like,
this is what I would do if the world was in like an anarchist thing.
You know what I mean?
Like if everything failed and there was no structure, this is like my base self. And then you're like,
if you should work on this base self a little bit.
Oh my god, it's not okay. It's so funny too, because I guess like, it's not like absolute rock bottom, but like a defining moment during that first year was,
I think it was like maybe a third into the quarter, the first wave of midterms.
And at the time, I was an econ major, you know, as I applied to be. And I actually slept through my econ midterm.
At the time, it felt like the end of the world kind of because I was like, oh, I'm going to fail this class then. And if I failed this class, then I'm going to have to like,
basically restart college, you know, something like super dramatic like that, right? And I remember being so embarrassed that after I told like our group of friends, I was like,
all right, let's never talk about this again.
And everyone was like, yeah, okay, don't worry, like we got you.
But I think if I remember correctly, someone else in our group chat did the same thing.
I think I did like shortly after. And then I felt so much better because I was like, oh, I'm not alone. Like maybe this is just the college experience.
It's like the bucket list college, like check it off.
Yeah.
But I remember like in the moment, I was I felt so bad. I was like, dude, I'm like, everything was hitting me. I was like, I'm wasting my parents money.
Like I slept through this midterm. Like, what am I doing? So I was like, okay, the only solution is I need to change my major.
I need to do something drastic where I don't start over without reason.
Well, I guess the reason would have been like sleeping through the midterm, but but changing a major is it would be like, oh, like I changed my major.
So that's why I'm starting over, right?
True, true. You're like, look at this reason, not this other reason.
Exactly.
So I remember I was having like a mini identity crisis because at that point, it's like, oh, well, I actually kind of know what college is.
We had finished the first quarter of first year already. So we were already in second quarter when this was happening.
So I think I was having like this crisis. I was like, oh my god. Well, now I kind of know what college is. And if I, you know, change my major.
It would probably be unreasonable to change my major again next quarter.
So it was like actually sitting down and looking at the different choices and being like, is this really what I want to do?
Does this interest me and like now that I kind of have a idea of like, or you know, a slightly better idea than last year when I was a high school student.
So I like, I actually did ask around. I like reached out to some friends and asked them about it, asked my friend who went to like a neighboring college who was a year or two older than us and asked her like her thoughts on the major and things like that.
And it was helpful. So I ended up going into well, still business.
I still business related, but I think it ended up being good. But if I were to give myself advice like from now to then, I would probably say something like you can consider like an art major, like you don't have to limit yourself to just like more traditional majors are I think art could have been interesting too.
Because that is where I ended up post college.
I like that. That's like a nice learning moment actually because in the grand scheme of things it's like in the moment it definitely feels like a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things it worked out in a way where it benefited you.
And maybe was sort of a wake up call in a sense for you as well.
And I kind of had a similar moment. It wasn't necessarily as academic, but there was a point in college where so at UCSD we had like cafeterias that serve real food. And then we also had like these markets that you can spend your dining dollars on that had like snack and drinks.
And I had a moment of realization where I was like, holy shit, I haven't eaten food from the cafeteria in like a month and I've been only eating and consuming like snacks from Earl's which was like the market at Warren College.
And it was crazy too because when you spend dining dollars at the cafeteria, you can't physically consume that much food I feel.
So then usually people have like dining dollars left over at the end of the year or quarter or whatever, but you know snacks are kind of easy to consume and drinks are expensive and there's like other shit you could buy at the markets.
So I actually ran out of dining dollars one quarter because I was like drinking like you know like tea every day from the market and like getting snacks and things like that.
I was like, dude, I need to like eat real food and like vegetables and not just eat chips for dinner and like you know whatever wrap for breakfast.
So I was like, okay, let's like actually kind of monitor what we're eating here.
So you know the classic freshman 15 and all, but also a lot of it was just like nutritionally I feel like I have a deficit in like many irons and vitamins or whatever.
Yeah, so definitely a wake up call there. I remember Jessica Arbumei, she like fed me and James like rice because she had a rice cooker in freshman year and she was like, okay, here's like rice and Chinese sausage.
Dude, you're like, thank you mom.
Thank you mother.
You're like, oh my god, real sustenance.
I know. I was like, I haven't seen white rice in forever. Although I guess we had tap X.
Oh, yeah, our like boba place that did ventos and stuff, but that's kind of like a big learning to in college, right?
It's like, you can't just eat whatever you think tastes good. Like you also have to eat vegetables and grains and things like that.
Yeah, yeah. Like speaking of health, I do wish I was a bit healthier in college.
Of course, it was like our youthful energy just like kept us through everything, but like I should have probably picked up like an easy exercise like running or something like that.
You know, I didn't end up being more intentional about exercise until a lot later.
I think it was close to like third year, maybe even end of third year that I started being more conscious about that stuff.
But it's just like good habits to build having some like even if it's like a really easy like 20 minutes a day exercise routine or something.
Yeah, I feel that I was definitely really inconsistent with my workout routines too.
I also kind of wish we like went to the beach more or like the advantage of being in like a coastal city.
Because San Diego is beautiful and that's not to say when I go back to visit, I go to the beach because I still don't.
But it's like, you know in college, like what else are you going to do? We might as well have gone and like enjoyed the sun a little bit.
Yeah, actually I had sad walks on the beach by myself at night. Oh, oh.
Just me walking around being like, who am I? What am I?
Hey, you're still on the beach. That's the way to my books.
Like after the missed econ midterm, who am I? Walking in the beach.
Oh my God.
Well, that was really fun time spent looking back on sort of significant moments in our life.
Maybe times that we thought were sort of life changing in a certain sense.
And I think part of what makes this such an interesting experience is I feel like we actually have matured.
Some are big ways, some are small ways, but there's so many little things that we've picked up over the years.
That kind of are like routine builders in a sense and like character builders as well.
So it was definitely really fun looking back on our young immature selves.
So if any of our listeners have any advice that they want to share to their past selves.
Then you can actually answer our Spotify Q&A. There should be a little button that you can click to enter in your responses to us.
So check that out if you listen to us on Spotify. And if not, you can hit us up on Instagram at eEearCrustPod or email eEearCrustPod at gmail.com.
And don't forget to follow us on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts.
We upload new episodes every Wednesday morning. Thanks for listening.
And don't forget to eat your crust.
