Babe, I feel like whenever you're stressed, you just project the stress on me.
I'm like, well, yeah, because you're the one who's making me stressed.
I actually have a very, very hard time trusting people.
What is it when people say like, oh, I give people the benefit of the doubt?
I am absolutely not that person.
I feel like I completely lost sight of myself.
I think it's just humbling yourself.
Like, I'm not above anything.
I'm not above anyone.
I'm above everything.
Go off, sis.
That was so beautiful.
Just gave her a little knee dab.
Eyed her up and down.
That was so beautiful.
Getting shy.
This one graph photo quote single-handedly shows us that we have the answers within us, and we have the know-how and we have the solution, we have the antidote, Hello everybody.
Hello, friends.
So today.
I saw a post on Instagram that was so so, so good that I immediately shared a vid, and we're both like we need to make a video about this.
Next episode, we're doing it.
And that is this episode.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Like, that's what you texted me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to do that.
So I think collectively we're all going through a lot.
I've just, you know, seen friends or caught up with people.
Just, you know, random banter with strangers.
And it's like, yeah, January was a lot.
February is also starting to be a lot.
And Fire Horse is starting off strong, just galloping full force ahead.
So I think...
When I saw this, it just was so grounding and so reassuring that you know we're all where we're meant to be and everything will be all right.
And sometimes we just need that when it's been a lot.
And I think this year, last year, life has been a lot for a lot of us.
Okay.
So what does it say?
This is the post and we'll have it on the screen.
This hit me.
Fear kills trust.
Stress kills gratitude.
Hurry kills presence.
Doubt kills action.
Ego kills love.
So like as it currently stands, it's nothing groundbreaking, right?
Because we know this.
But at the very bottom, it reads, now read that right to left.
Trust kills fear.
Gratitude kills stress.
Presence kills hurry.
Action kills doubt.
And love kills ego.
Wow.
Wow snaps, okay.
And also, if you're a visual person, so for me when i hear this, it like doesn't hit as hard.
So look it up on our youtube or spotify video, just pop it open just so you can see it, or just go to our instagram, we'll repost it.
Yeah yeah yeah um, because it just visually.
I think i'm more of a visual person, so that yeah, just for those who are just audio only.
When Ro first sent this to me, I was like this is so voice hugs.
This is so everything that we talk about in all of our different episodes, and not intentionally, it just like comes up very naturally.
And I think this sums everything up so well in a single place where you know like we do talk about fear.
We do talk about doubt and stress and all of these things and ego and pride, and And then we also talk about all these other things separately, like gratitude.
We have had multiple full episodes on gratitude and presence, the power of now and taking, you know, going outside, taking deep breath, all of that stuff.
And so-
I'm really excited to talk about this in this episode because I think it is such a voice huggy episode.
It feels very true to both of us and how we feel about life.
And I think it's just a really good reminder, as you said, as we continue on our fire horse year, to keep to keep these things in mind and stay grounded in them.
That reminded me of when you made those penguin noises.
You did not hear rowena's penguin noises.
You need to listen to the episode where we talk about um in another life.
Yeah yeah, it's just, it's uh with a kid, with a little baby, just okay.
So this week's feelings jar, let us pick, okay.
We both will pick an individual phrase that speaks to us most okay and then describe it using using yes, OK.
The phrase that speaks to me most right now, in this time of my life, is hurry kills presence.
Oh, I think for me it is.
It's a tie between fear kills trust and stress kills gratitude.
And we'll, of course, share more later.
But for now, I'll do fear kills trust.
Fear kills.
OK, fear kills trust.
I'm just going to. all right we're gonna paper what is it what is it it is cartoon slash anime oh hurry kills presents okay the first one that comes to mind for me is the road pecker one where it's like always in a hurry something like chasing it it's um the roadrunner the roadrunner with um the tasmanian devil what is that is that what it is it's like the brown monster thing that is always running behind it oh my gosh i don't know i just i can only think about the bird okay it's running it's fine the bird yeah or even what is that story the story this is not a real cartoon but it's like the toad and the not the toad is it a toad the rabbit and the hare the hare and the toad tortoise oh the rabbit and the tortoise no a hare is a tortoise it is a tortoise anyway yeah yeah the rabbit and the tortoise yes okay yeah okay so you know like you're trying to run the race and you're just going really fast yeah but then in the end the the tortoise wins yes right and he gets to also enjoy he or she or they maybe why did i assume it yeah um tortoise gets to enjoy the scenery and still win in the end oh yeah who like do you which which one are you identifying i'm the hare i'm the bunny rabbit right now i'm like uh-huh And then I need to channel my inner tortoise a little bit more.
Yeah.
I think on my day to day, I'm just constantly going.
And I'll talk a little bit more in the episode.
But yeah, I feel like I'm just going through the motions right now.
And I want to be a little bit more present during this time in my life.
Yes.
And I think a lot of us can relate to that.
We'll talk about it in the next episode.
Hustle culture.
Goodbye.
Anyway.
Okay.
For me, fear kills trust.
Fear kills trust.
Okay.
I think, while the first thing that came to my mind as soon as I read cartoon slash anime is Spirited Away.
My favorite, one of my favorite movies.
So there's, I think I've talked about this on VoiceX.
There's only two movies that I will willingly rewatch, because I think rewatching things and rereading things is a waste of time.
You do too.
We're on the same wavelength, but Crazy Stupid Love.
Like, it's just, I don't know.
It's just, I think I watched it in like a very pivotal, impressionable time in my life.
And then also Spirited Away.
I think just because I started watching that when I was maybe like seven eight, like whenever it came out.
My cousins got it on DVD.
So we would just watch it all the time.
So I think it kind of follows the journey of Chihiro, the protagonist who's like this girl who starts off all she's like, upset that she's moving, and then she gets flowers.
But the first time she gets flowers is because she's, you know, leaving her friends and she's going to start this life.
And then she's, you know, like complaining, and then more um whiny, and then she, like her parents, stumble upon this like little village and then they, she goes on this wild adventure and i think at the very end you really see how um initially there's all this fear of like change uncertainty, Like us.
We just talked about this in the previous episodes.
And it slowly morphs into this trust in herself.
And I think for me, I resonate most with fear killing trust within the self.
And yeah, we'll talk about it more later.
Wow, I really like that.
Okay, so I've never watched...
Any, any of those.
Studio Ghibli?
Yeah.
Ghibli?
Yeah.
I didn't even know that was the plot for Spirited Away.
So now I feel inclined to try again.
Yes.
Sorry, it's Ghibli.
I'm like, it's not Ghibli.
Yeah, Studio Ghibli.
I'm just reminding myself.
You... Okay, the thing is, I've just always fallen asleep.
Yeah.
While watching it.
It's just, it's odd.
Like all their stuff is a little odd.
Like I would not let my kid watch this until they're a little older.
Like maybe in their, at least double digits.
Yeah.
It's like, it can be a little weird, scary, but yeah.
Good thing I'm in my double digits.
Yeah.
You're exactly where you're meant to be.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay, so let's get into it.
Let's get into the first one.
Yeah, the first one.
So fear kills trust.
I love what you said about how for you, it's become this trust in thyself.
When I was thinking about fear versus trust, I heavily lean on the fear side.
And I think I've leaned on the fear side for most of my life.
Part of it is being guarded.
You have this fear of, what did I say?
It was like anticipation of danger.
And danger can be anything.
It could be the lack of security, getting hurt by someone, getting your feelings hurt, getting your heart broken, getting let down.
These are all things that can feel dangerous to the human experience.
Yeah, exactly.
And so this fear comes into play.
Um our, our baby's toys going off.
My baby too.
Yeah, it's our baby, so don't mind it in the background if you hear a duck quacking.
Sorry, there's this muse like children music playing.
You know what it is.
It's?
Um, it's a toy from his grandparents, from asia, and then it's a duck with three little duckings ducklings, that follow behind, and then it just waddles and then the mom's, like little kids, catch up And then, when you like magnetically, when you put the little chicks onto the mother duck, it just is happy and waddles around.
Anyway,
That's what we hear right now in the background.
Okay, what was I saying?
Threatening.
Threatening, fear.
Yeah, so I operate from a place of fear.
I think when I was thinking about this, I actually have a very, very hard time trusting people.
It takes a long time for me to... feel like this person is trustworthy of knowing things about me.
And I think that's why also a lot of my relationships are very long-term, because it's taken so long to build that trust over time, when that trust has been established,
Yeah, i am loyal to my friends like i will.
I will stick with them until the end of time.
The most loyal yeah, like forever, because it's like it takes so it's it's so special yeah, i think.
Uh, with that being said, i'm also like not the kind of person to what is it when people say like oh, i give people the benefit of the doubt.
I'm absolutely not that person.
I'm like no way no no no, no.
You don't deserve it until you earn it.
Exactly.
And I've learned to be more open-minded to not shut people out or else you just can't form.
And you can't live a life where you're just always fearful of people hurting you.
But yeah, that's also not who I am naturally or what I gravitate towards.
When I was reflecting on this, I was actually thinking the exact same thing as you where growing up and for the majority of my life there's so much fear of the external hurting you.
But what I've learned is that through time, through experience, through all the things that we've gone through in the last I don't know 30 years, 20 years whatever, how many years.
You've been around.
Yeah, that ultimately you start trusting that you can handle life and you start trusting that even when the heartbreak happens, even when someone lets you down, you can trust that you'll be able to get through it and you'll be able to make peace with it.
You'll be able to find gratitude to be present to you know, like all these other parts that were shared in the post.
And so yeah, the trusting in yourself is not something that I would have thought about at a younger age.
But now that we're here, I'm like oh, I do trust that now if quote bad things happen or if danger comes, I can handle it, and we can handle it, and we have a community to handle it together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go off, sis.
That was so beautiful.
Just gave her a little knee tap.
Eye her up and down.
That was so beautiful.
Getting shy.
But okay, you just said something like when we're younger, right, it's like hard to trust ourselves.
I don't even think we knew who ourselves were.
So if you feel this way, don't give yourself pressure, right?
But I think this is just like the ever-evolving journey of we can see through movies like Spirited Away or, you know, any movies with like a strong, younger protagonist female, which
I don't think there's a lot of those movies.
But the more you lean away from external validation and more into who you are and what you want and what you believe is true and right in this world, the closer you will be led to your truest self and your truest desires.
I think it's just a sign of our times growing up in...
America and reading the things that we read, being influenced by, like the media, the culture, the magazines, everything that we consumed.
It's easy to be like external validation.
I want to like care about how I look because it's not because I want to look better.
It's because I want other people to perceive me a certain way.
And I think this just kind of leads into our early adulthood.
Currently still, they're still a part of us.
I think that it takes a long time to be aware of and to even fully shed.
I don't know if we will be able to fully shed this ever.
To give a more concrete example, I think when I first started creating content on YouTube, it was very like I trusted myself so much maybe a little too much.
I was like, this is I'm going to do whatever it takes and make this successful.
But then it was also trust in myself, trust in my voice, trust in my like the stories that I wanted to tell.
And I think over the years because that was 10 years ago you start caring more about other things that weren't what initially got you excited about doing this thing right, and so fear starts seeping in, like slowly, but like kind of i want to use the word like insidiously.
It's not that dramatic, maybe it is right, because it, i think, like fear truly kills trust and i think in this case i just completely.
I feel like i completely lost trust side of myself and what I wanted to create and what I wanted to like share publicly, that it wasn't until I took, like two, three years off from, you know, the hamster wheel of weekly content posting.
That I was like, oh, there you are.
Like, there's the row.
Okay.
There she is.
There she is.
And then to like foster, to reconnect with her and to like continue fostering that relationship with her.
To be like, where are we now?
What do we want to do now?
I think that's kind of where the magic happens.
And that yeah, like it's been a journey.
It's 10 years in the making.
This just reminds me of the quote that we always severely underestimate, overestimate.
We severely overestimate what we can do in one year, but underestimate what we can do in 10, and like 10 years is such a long time of like many things to change all the ebbs and flows.
But yeah, i think the ultimately like the trust in the self is what is what's most important.
But I also just this is just randomly I thought it's like um, when I was in my younger years.
I think fear often kills trust in relationships too, because of like your insecurities, because you don't trust yourself, because you know you're insecure with, like how you look or whatever.
You're always like, Oh, like what is the boy doing?
And you know, like i'm gonna say this, i'm not gonna say that because you're, you're in your head yeah, and then you're playing games um, so that's just more of like a evergreen example.
Trust in thyself, trust in thyself, that is the answer.
That is the answer.
So fear kills trust, but trust kills fear.
And let me tell you me, on this other side as, like rowena, i don't even know like 115 right version whatever, like the really old video i've made of all the different versions, it is wonderful being on the trust side rather than the fear side.
Yes, i'd say i'm still.
I still lean fear yeah, But I do trust myself.
Yeah.
So much more.
Yes.
Yeah.
And the universe.
And I think that's why I was talking about how, like I can't wait to be a grandma, because I just know at that time of my life I will be full trusting the body, the mind, the soul that I have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Stress kills gratitude.
Yeah.
Do you get stressed?
I know you do because your aura ring does.
But I will say, if Ro is stressed, she typically doesn't show it.
I don't feel like I see you stress.
Because the projection doesn't reach you.
Okay, so Viv, you said in a past episode, did you say this or you maybe told me this before?
Anyway, you're looking into your like, like natal astronomy charts with like Rory, right?
And then you're comparing just to see how compatible you guys are.
So then I got inspired by that.
And I did it with me and James.
I plugged our charts in which i've done before, but then i don't know, just because you did it with chat right, with chat gbt, so i did it with claude, and then it is, there is depth, and then it read me like i've never been read before.
So it basically said externally calm, composed ennui.
I'm bothered.
You have everything together.
Internally, there's a storm.
Not just any storm.
There's a firestorm.
Firestorm.
Firestorm.
So yes, to answer your question, I do get stressed.
And I think I don't let it like the thing.
I think because externally there's this container.
I try to not ever let it leak out of the container because i don't know.
It's also like upbringing of like i don't want to burden other people, whatever like they, they're not the cause of my stress, so why bother them with it?
But the only person who feels the wrath is james, so he's always like babe, i feel like whenever you're stressed, you just project the stress on me.
I'm like well yeah, because you're the one who's making me stressed.
If you just did what you're supposed to like, i don't know, help me stop stressing me out.
Yeah, help me tidy this, the place.
And you know like, help me get ready the the, the diaper bag before heading out.
Then like, i won't be stressed because i won't be doing everything, like little things, like that.
It's never him yeah it's, it's me and the, the pressure i put on myself.
Um, but i think this specific phrase stress kills.
Gratitude is an ongoing theme in our first year with baby as a couple.
Because yeah, i do see when you are, when you're stressed, when you are in it, you can't see out of it and you can't feel grateful, like you can't feel happy.
Yeah, emotions are high, right.
Like you're in the firestorm.
I mean, when I think about when I'm stressed, I'm fully in the zone of stress.
Yeah, like when you're a rabbit.
Yeah, exactly.
And for me, I actually show it.
I think I grew up with my mom showing her stress all the time.
So I'm realizing that I'm really bad at hiding my stress.
When I'm at work, people know I'm stressed.
And apparently I started doing this thing.
And I didn't know I did this until I started this job.
I sing song when I am stressed.
So I'll be like, okay, no problem.
I got it.
Like, I'll do that.
It's like during your yearly meetings, your managers are like this.
Yeah. were you really stressed this year?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and it's like kind of a, not an inside joke, but it's like a joke in the office.
Like, oh, Vivian's stressed.
And I'll be in my cubicle and I'll just start singing and my you know, my coworker next to me can hear me.
Like Viv you, okay?
But yeah, no, not okay.
It's exactly as you shared.
I think for me that like, the last time I felt really stressed was a few weeks ago at work, and it was like all over my body.
Like I had eczema just flaring.
And it got to the point where sometimes, when you're stressed, you're so in it that it's so easy to spiral and take it out on the people around you.
And I was taking it out.
I was like, I am going to leave my job.
I'm going to transfer like I don't deserve to be spoken to this way.
And I was like, I'm too good for this.
Like you start just really getting in your head and you start hating everyone.
And then everything someone says will just annoy the crap out of you.
There's just no empathy, sympathy.
There's no space for forgiveness.
And then, after that project was delivered and I had some time to myself, I was like wow, if I practice gratitude during the two weeks where I was stressed, I would have felt better.
I think like after the, the stress kind of went away and I had time to think about what I was grateful for.
Cause I feel so grateful for my coworkers.
I feel so grateful that I get to do a hybrid schedule.
I feel so grateful that I have a paycheck that comes in.
You know, like all of these things almost like i look back at the stress, i'm like why did i stress so hard?
It wasn't that big of a deal.
When you look back, it's never that big of a deal, right?
You're like it was just a diaper bag.
Yeah, it was just a tone of voice.
Why did i want to quit from someone's tone of voice?
Yeah yeah, But it's just never about the diaper bag.
No.
It's never about the one-toner voice.
No.
I think it's showing deeper things within us, but that's a story for another podcast.
That's another episode.
Yeah.
OK, but gratitude kills stress.
Yes, absolutely.
In the moment when you are fully in your firestorm, find a way to get out of it.
And I think the easiest way is to take a take a breath.
Yeah, take a breath and just be like, I am grateful for having a partner.
I am grateful for James, period.
And then you'll like battle yourself internally a little bit.
But then I think the gratitude always wins when you're able to like fully feel it.
Yeah.
Even just a little bit in that moment, it'll help.
Yeah.
The next one is... Hurry kills presence.
Yes.
Take it away, girlfriend.
Oh, this one was mine.
This was the tortoise and the hare.
Yeah, so my everyday is hurry, hurry, hurry, do, do, do, wake up, and here's a full to-do list.
I'm mostly speaking about my Mondays through Fridays, because on Saturday and Sunday I fully veg out.
And I think that is like a micro burnout, right?
Like you're working throughout the week and then on the weekend I'm just like fully in bed until like 10 am, which is really late for me.
I start work at seven.
This one makes me kind of sad, because what snaps me out of the hurry is and brings me to the present moment almost always is when I take a like, when I when I'm working from home and I look at my dogs, like I have a moment where I look at my dogs and I'm like okay, you need to calm down, like you need to stop with the doing and you need to take a deep breath.
You need to spend five minutes, just five, and five minutes seems so short, Right?
And I think something about having pets it's because you know you're going to outlive them, which is really sad.
But their life is not forever.
My God, I'm getting teary eyed.
I cry about losing my dogs on a weekly basis.
It's so bad.
But I'm sure other pets... No, it's great.
Yeah, but it's like... You are human.
Part of it is the fear versus trust too, right?
Because I'm so fearful of losing them that instead of trusting that...
We have time right now to be in the present.
And I started feeling this with Rory after we got married.
Up until getting married, I never thought about losing my partner and what that meant.
And I think after getting married, you start planning for a future together, a home.
You are a family.
And this crossed my mind almost immediately.
And I talked to him about it.
I was like one of us is gonna die first, one of us has to say goodbye to the other person and, knowing my gosh darn it luck, it's gonna be me, you're gonna leave me, you better not leave me, and that's like really how the conversation went.
In that tone, it's like half joking, half crying, and i'm like crying while i'm telling him this.
But um, where was i going with this?
That was a tangent.
Going back to fear versus trust.
Yeah, so sometimes you just keep doing things and you forget to be present in the moment.
The list of things will always be there.
No, but what you gave is a great example of hurry kills fear.
Presence, oh presence yeah yeah, because if you are, i think like your mind is just racing right about the future projection.
What, what will happen when this happens?
What will happen when that happens, which takes you away from being present?
Yeah yeah he, he's.
He's like glass half full and I'm glass half empty.
And so whenever... And together, you're a full glass of milk.
We are whole.
We're whole milk.
None of that 2% low fat.
I agree.
Yeah, so...
He's always like, we have now.
We're together now.
Like, yes, that will happen someday.
But we don't need a rush to get there either.
We don't need to hurry and think about those things.
You don't need to hurry and be a grandma.
You have time, so much life to live, girl.
Yes, that's a good reminder just to be present yeah um, but for me, i get, in the present moment, the easiest when someone reminds me to with, like a friend, a dog, right here, right now.
Thank you, where is she now?
I'm thinking about all the things we have to talk about over this episode.
I'm kidding, she's not.
No, i'm not kidding, but yes, Yes.
Yes.
That's what I feel like on the daily, actually.
I think this one, as we said in the beginning, it is such a universal feeling.
And yeah, we're going to break it down fully in the next episode.
Yes.
So presence kills hurry.
The next one is doubt kills action.
And I actually feel like this one is very similar to the example I gave earlier, for fear kills trust.
Halfway through, as we were talking, I was like, wait, these are all interchangeable too.
Because I feel like fear also kills gratitude, but gratitude also kills fear.
And then fear also stops action, but action can stop fear.
So anyway, but specifically with doubt and action, I think...
I mean, I think fear and doubt are cousins, and it's very easy in this day and age for us to be paralyzed by crippling anxiety or doubt which leads us to doing nothing than just a tiny thing.
You know, I think like it's the whole thing with like my mom saying of how do you eat an elephant?
Not literally.
OK, but how do you eat an elephant?
It's just piece by piece.
Like slowly you'd like take a little step, one step at a time.
But a lot of times are crippling doubt prevents us from taking that one small step.
Yeah, I think the doubt, sometimes it stems from not wanting to make the wrong decision or not having the answer before you take that step.
And just going back to what we shared in a previous episode, it is taking that step forward backwards left right, up down diagonal.
Any step, any action, with that song playing in your mind as you take that step, is going to help with moving in a direction doesn't have to be forward, but moving and then giving you those data points to readjust and recalibrate.
So then, action kills doubt sometimes, oh okay, this is one of my favorite quotes, or just something that's like engraved in my brain during, like the hustle culture era, like 2016 we just graduated.
Mark zuckerberg said move fast and break things and also ask for forgiveness, not for permission, and i think that is very tech culture, very tech culture, um.
But i think i also took that to heart when i was like, when i was starting my career um, and it brought me somewhere.
So most things are not like detrimental oh yes, like it unless it like hurts someone permanently, okay.
So yes, this is another framework i think we talked about this too of when you make a decision is it reversible or is it irreversible?
Not many things are irreversible in life, but for irreversible decisions, think about it.
Take your time.
Like having a kid, right?
Once you, you usually can't put it back in.
You usually can't.
You never can.
But like, if something is reversible, like job offer whatever, even though it may seem like do or die and dah dah dah, it's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, right.
Yeah.
Okay, last one.
Last one is ego kills love.
Love.
Love.
What is ego exactly?
Like pride.
When I think of ego, I think of, this is the first example that comes to mind, saying sorry.
Sorry is really hard for me and it's funny because we had an episode on saying sorry and i'm pretty sure in the teaser i was like i feel like i'm always the first to say sorry and that is a lie.
I lied, i lied in season one.
I have a hard time saying sorry and even when i do say sorry because i know it's the right thing to do, all of me She's like I'm going to say sorry because this is the right thing to do.
But I do not feel sorry right now.
And then I'm going to go talk to someone else about this and talk about why I'm not sorry for this and why they should be sorry for this.
But yeah, I think that is a classic example for me of how.
I'm so set on being right.
And for me, when I feel like I'm right.
I don't want to apologize for something I don't feel like I should be apologizing for.
But obviously from the other, we're not going to talk about apologies right now.
We can have another episode on that.
But in that moment right, I'm so centered around myself that I'm not thinking about the other person.
And what?
The end goal of?
Why you apologize, why you have open conversations, why you let go of the pride and the ego so that you have the love and the connection and all of that stuff, I guess.
Yeah, i guess.
Yeah no, i can totally relate, i think.
Yeah, just going back to my like college relationship, i think ego killing love is when maybe you're like you're protecting yourself also in a way right, or you don't want to admit something about yourself because it will hurt your pride or it'll hurt your ego.
Um, So then, instead of leaning into the love and leaning into the opening up, you just kind of withhold.
And that's a choice, right?
But it's not...
As humans, I think we all want to be loved and appreciated.
And then to love and appreciate.
To be loved and appreciated, you need to love and appreciate others, right?
Not to say that it's transactional, but it's just how the world works, right?
The more you open up, the more kind you are, the more happy you are, the more like whether it's like energetically or whatever like it will come back to you right.
Like your family, your friends, right?
Maybe it's also like putting yourself on a pedestal of like you feel like you deserve this and then you also don't want to like lower yourself, to like apologize or why do I need to apologize to you when you're the one who did it ever like?
I think like this all the time too, but I think it's just humbling yourself like I'm not above anything.
I'm not above anyone, I'm above everything, Or believe that trust in yourself.
Yeah, trust over fear.
Yes, trust over fear that that is your core.
But at the same time, it's like we can lower our guards.
I think maybe ego is like guarding, like a guard, to like protect us right from, like whatever fears we think is going to happen.
It could be like also attachment to things, like sometimes I feel like ego can be.
Like you're attached to like OK, not attachment, more like worth, like your worth is being threatened or taken away from you.
So like if, if you're wrong, like in my example, right of saying sorry if i'm wrong, that means i'm less than.
Like that means you were right and you're above me yeah, exactly as you said.
And then like i'm wrong, so i'm like less than, and even though maybe i am right or maybe i am wrong, i like want to stay that ground and i'm so attached to that that you aren't able to let like the the love in.
Yeah, And love is a beautiful thing.
But I think love also in this way can encapsulate, like happiness joy, like all these positive feelings.
But yeah, the opposite of that is love can kill ego.
Yeah, like I guess, if I just approach a conversation from a place of love, then there is no.
It doesn't feel hard to say sorry at all.
It's like, I'm so sorry I made you feel that way.
I didn't mean to.
No, it's okay.
Yeah.
So easy.
Yeah.
No, I think I'm now thinking like, does James approach every conversation with love?
It's either he does or it's either he's just a golden retriever.
Because I was like, I'm so sorry for like any small minor inconvenience.
So then whenever...
I think it's because we are more results oriented and our partners are more people oriented.
Even though we talk about people and connection on our podcast, there's still like results.
We're like.
We're like wanting to make a difference, you know like it's and for other people, and this is just part of like personality training stuff that I've done.
There's like, you're like one or the other, you're results oriented.
You prioritize results or you prioritize people, not saying you're only one or the other.
But I think people who tend to approach life from a people oriented way.
It's very easy for them to not see the wrong or right.
But how does this make you feel?
Are you okay?
How can I support you?
And that just so happens to be who our partners are, which I think says a lot.
Maybe it's complimentary and who we strive to be.
And that's why we talk about being those people on the podcast.
Yes.
Yeah.
Also just like talking about love and like the lovey dovey love sense.
Um, I also feel like, when you're able to truly and wholeheartedly accept love, it also dampens and like calms down your ego so that you can just be yourself and like you don't.
You don't feel like you need to be anything you're not or protect anything that is yours.
There's no fear.
Yeah, in like protect, yeah in the well, what did i say?
Like the fear of like, anticipation of danger?
Right, it's like Losing people and getting hurt.
And so you just feel the love instead, which is really hard, but not impossible.
Yes.
So I think the most interesting thing that we should have actually said in the beginning of the episode is that, for as much as we are constantly seeking and looking for and trying to figure out ourselves and life and all of these things
And a lot of times we're looking externally for a lot of these things.
This one graph photo, quote whatever you want to call it single-handedly shows us that we have the answers within us, and we have the know-how and we have the solution.
We have the antidote to whatever the opposite is.
I think that's such a reassuring thing and it's something that we talk about on this podcast all the time.
Everything we're seeking is within.
And if we're able to just make one small tweak, just flipping the words, like how easy is that?
I know like in practice it's really hard, but just being able to visually see the flip and the switch and how big of an impact it made.
Wow.
That reminded me that all of these words, they're not like the first word that's listed.
It's also not bad parts of us, right?
Like the fear, the doubt, the ego, these all serve us.
And it's about flipping back and forth, because sometimes it is important for you to feel good.
The fear, the doubt, the hurry.
Those are things that help you in life and help you move forward.
But it's about appreciating both parts of you and then realizing that if you tend to lean on one more than the other to try to flip that script or narrative in your mind,
And it's a fluid dance.
And I think you need both, right?
That's why we were created this way.
But I think maybe like our environment culturally, whatever we shift on one side more than the other.
But it's just having the self-awareness to be like, where am I now?
Where do I want to be?
And what do I need in my life right now?
Well, that wraps up today's episode.
We would love to hear from you.
If you have any questions, if you have any fun Instagram posts that you stumble on.
Quotes, your favorite quotes.
Yeah.
In the comments.
Send it over to us because I mean, sometimes we see these things in a whole episode.
Yeah.
Right.
And we love to learn from you guys, too.
I know a lot of you guys have sent us book recommendations or just you know things to look into that maybe hearing our episode has inspired that.
And you think we would like it.
We probably would like it.
So please send us more.
You can contact us.
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