861. The Support Squad Series: Round 9 with Seema Mack｜Ali on the Run Show

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Welcome to the Allie on the Run show.

I'm your host, Allie Feller, and this is where I talk with people who are doing exciting things on the run and beyond.

From professional athletes and celebrity runners to the everyday amateur and back of the pack runner.

We are here to celebrate everyone and anyone who enjoys a life on the run.

So, whether you are running towards something big or away from something that's been holding you back, I'm here to hold your hand and help you pick up the pace.

I'm back today with another support squad episode.

As always, I know these episodes are not for everyone.

They are not really about running, though we do talk about running in this one.

So if you come to the Allie on the Run show to hear about and from runners and about running, this one might not be your personal preference and that's totally okay.

The Support Squad series is something I started in the wake of a stage four breast cancer diagnosis in 2025.

I am so fortunate to have really exceptional friends and family members, and we got into the habit of recording episodes together the morning after each round of chemotherapy.

It was kind of a different take on the morning after.

Today we are looking back at chemo round nine, which I did back on December 30th, accompanied by my dear friend Seema Mack.

We recorded this one a full three weeks later, which feels like a lifetime on the chemo calendar.

And selfishly.

It was just really nice to snuggle up on the couch and chat with my friend for more than two hours.

So yeah, this is a long one.

Let me tell you a little bit about Seema before we dive in.

Seema is president and CEO of Kids Facts.

She explains what that means in this episode.

She does amazing, important work.

She is a mom to eight-year-old Sloan and five-year-old Reese.

Our daughters go to school and dance together, which is kind of how we met.

And Seema is married to her husband, Randy, who is just the best and who travels a ton for work.

Randy is back and forth from New Hampshire to Chicago every single week for work.

And Seema is holding it down here at home.

She does so much for the people in her life.

She is the most thoughtful, caring, loving person.

And I call her the magic maker.

She brings a special touch to everything she does, and she's made our lives so much more happy, sparkly and fun.

Seema has become one of my very best friends in a very short amount of time and I'm really excited for all of you to get to meet her today.

So please join me in welcoming Seema Mack to the Allie on the Run show.

Seema Mack, welcome to the Allie on the Run show.

We're three weeks late for our chemo support squad episode, but we are... That's on brand for me.

We are in the rightful space.

We are snuggled up on the couch under blankets on a cold day.

Thank you for doing this.

I mean, how many times am I going to say thank you in the course of this conversation you?

How many times will I cry at an inappropriate time?

You know what I love.

There's so much that I love about you, but one of the things I love is I feel like you're the one friend who cries as much as I do.

But my emotional I'm so emotionally inconsistent.

You're either like hard as a rock just getting shit done, or when was it recently we were doing something?

I think it was me, you and Steph and I look over and I'm like are you crying?

Like I cried at the mountain on Thursday.

Well, ski days can be emotional.

Ski days, we all have big feelings.

Maybe I was crying at a joy that we actually made it there on time.

You made it there on time.

We made it through the day.

Everyone did great.

There was a point in the afternoon where we did look around and say does anyone know where Sloane is?

But some grown-up knew where she was.

Thank goodness for Andy.

Everyone was present and accounted for.

Pretty sure the parents that show up on the mountain have single-handedly saved my children.

Okay.

So, um, okay.

Let's give some background as to who you are.

Cause I was going to just launch into some of my favorite stories about your kids, because your kids are some of my favorite kids in the entire world.

And I just like have the Yeah, that's one of the things that, yeah, I know.

That is one of the things that has been really special about this friendship and this group of friends that I weaseled my way into is like give me any of your kids any day.

Like, I love these children so much.

Watching all of them together is one of the greatest joys of life.

Yeah.

Hands down.

And they play well together, and it's just, girls' nights have... kept me alive over the past year.

Oh, you know what I was telling someone yesterday?

Um, Oh no, I was telling Katie little Annie's mom.

Is I was like, you know, we've been going to the club, the country club where you are a member.

We are not.

I was like, we've been going for a year and a half now and doing girls night there.

And a bill never appears.

And it just magically goes on your tab.

And I don't know how it works.

There's no way to change.

But at least for a while I was like, hey, I need to pay you for this.

Or can I Venmo you for this?

And for years you said, I don't have Venmo.

Because I don't know how it works.

And I was just kind of like I don't believe her, but like that's a very SEMA response and I'm not going to push it.

And then, and then December 20th, I get a Venmo from SEMA Mac.

And I was like, that bitch had Venmo this whole time.

The only reason it happened is because Steffi had to walk me through it.

She had to be like, you go in the app.

And you can pay people through it.

And I was like, that's great.

Because people have sent me funds that I now need to make sure Allie gets.

Well, I probably owe you, I would say roughly $1,000 worth of meals from the past year plus.

You made me a beautiful salmon dinner last week.

I feel like that.

Okay.

Call it even.

So Seema is my most magical friend and everything she does is beautiful perfect, special and, let's be honest, a little over the top, in the best way possible.

I show up at her house for girls night last week with a bag of salad and a ready to bake salmon.

So yeah, no, I'm really doing the most over here.

And that made my week.

Hands down.

And the one thing that I did that night, that I was like I'm being helpful right now, is sweet.

Little Sloanie was like Annie, do you want to help me feed Belly, which is your dog?

And I was like, good girls.

And then all of a sudden you from upstairs, as you hear them feeding her, you go, Belly already ate.

Belly already ate.

And I'm like, oh, my God.

The one thing I tried to do to help is I was like, oh, my gosh, good girls.

Belly also had the best night ever.

She did.

Very happy.

Yeah.

She got two dinners.

So.

She wants to be a part of Girls' Night.

She sure is.

Well, let's go back in time and talk about how all of this came to be.

I think I've shared before.

I think I shared in the newsletter and definitely on Instagram how I have weaseled my way into your life.

You always say that.

OK, I'll give you my version of the story and then you can offer your rebuttal.

My version is October 2023.

I was right in the middle of chemotherapy treatment.

I think I was two rounds in and I was headed home, for round three was just in like the absolute worst place in life.

I was going through a divorce that most people didn't know about.

We were still living together.

It was it was just a very hard time.

And I was stuffing that right down and just powering through.

And I'm flying back from Chicago.

I'm exhausted.

I'm happy because it was a great weekend.

I'm very stressed about what awaits at home.

And I'm in the airport in Chicago and I see just the cutest family I've ever seen flying from Chicago to Manchester, New Hampshire, which like who flies to Manchester, New Hampshire?

We do.

And this woman is the most gorgeous person I've ever seen, wearing freaking high heels at an airport with two little girls.

They were boots still.

And they're the boots that I want.

So bad that, if anything should ever happen to you, they would fit you.

I know.

I do love that.

We're the same size.

And I'm like, oh my gosh, this like glamorous woman in her heels and two little girls who were so cute, looked around Annie's age in their little matching outfits and they both had backpacks and they were just like sweet.

They were just like lined up and polite and boarded the flight.

And then I saw you get off the plane in Manchester and I was like, oh my God, like this woman's amazing.

And you looked calm.

And then the next day we're in the parking lot at the girl's school.

And I see the woman from the airport.

And I remember going up to you in the parking lot and going were you on a flight from Chicago to Manchester yesterday?

And you were like, yeah.

And you're like getting the kids in the car, doing the afterschool thing.

And I was like, me too.

And I think that was the entire conversation.

I don't remember what happened next.

But here we are on my couch, you taking care of me.

At some point, I think I just like found my way into this group because our kids go to school together.

You have a great group with Steph and Sarah and their daughters.

And I think I just started showing up.

No, but here's my question.

At what point did we get the girls ready for the spring recital?

And you did the photo shoot.

That tracks.

I can't remember.

I did the photo shoot.

You did the photo shoot because no one can trust me to take a picture.

It's not going to turn out.

That's what I can help with.

Never a good idea for me to take the picture.

And the girls were so cute.

This was before Reese was dancing.

So Sloan was like little, little, which means both.

Yeah.

Annie was in pre-K then.

Oh, wait.

No, then.

2023, Annie would have been in pre-K.

So Reese was in pre-K three.

Seema's kids are Sloan is a year older than Annie and Reese is a year younger than Annie.

And they all go to the same school.

But then little Annie was dancing.

So Reese, he must have been dancing.

So it had to have been all of them.

Yeah.

She had like a little, I don't know, red or peach or something costume.

I can picture it.

And we got them all ready together at school.

Okay.

So October, we would have run into each other.

And then we would have spent time together getting ready for the spring recital.

December holiday show, I'm guessing.

Because we started... I don't know.

So all this to say, you have no first impressions of me because I just kind of found my way in.

No, so...

Well, but can I also just give you context?

Yes.

I don't remember meeting my husband Randy for the first time.

That memorable.

We were introduced by a colleague who I had worked with like back in the day, and then he was working with Randy on a project at the time that we met.

So he introduced us.

Does Randy remember meeting you?

I bet he does.

He does.

Of course.

He tells the story all the time.

But I think the problem is that If I was getting the girls in and out and we met in the parking lot, I remember that, which is impressive.

You're like, stalker.

No, because I never remember anything.

If I'm meeting someone in the heat of a moment, chances are I'm not going to remember.

I like the idea of us meeting in the heat of a moment.

My, my question for you is because I don't know what the actual definition of a meet cute is.

But is the?

Is us meeting?

Is that what's considered a meet cute?

I think it's cute.

Or a cute meet?

What is it?

Meet cute.

A meet cute.

Yeah.

I think it's a meet cute.

I mean, I more think that I was like kind of a stalker and I was like, you're pretty, be my friend.

I like you because you say that you weaseled your way into the friend group, but I feel like you were the friend group.

No, you and Sarah and Steph are.

The three of you have always been very close and your girls are at least.

Sloan and their girls are in the same grade, in the same class.

You had that group.

And I'm guessing at some point you just invited me to join a girls night or something.

It had to have happened very naturally.

Right.

Because.

Or as the great Taylor Swift says, none of this was accidental.

I'm the mastermind here and I just found my way in.

So.

All right.

So I've always wondered this because we've never talked about it.

If you remembered how we became friends.

I don't remember how we became friends, but I do remember I can picture meeting in the parking lot.

And then Annie wasn't with you.

No, I was getting out of the car and you were walking.

So you were picking up before me that day.

Which we must have had an appointment.

Something was going on.

Something was happening.

Yeah.

Because that never happens.

And Annie wasn't with you.

So then when we met again through Katie for dance, I think I was like, oh.

The girl from the airport.

You were the person from Chicago.

And then I remember stalking you, which I never do.

You did?

Like on the internet?

Yeah.

Because.

Or at my house.

No, we could.

You're like, I drove by real slow every night.

No way.

Imagine real inconspicuous.

Yeah, I would be so bad at stalking that I would like actually pull into the driveway, because then I wouldn't be able to figure out how to turn around, how to back in.

You've really lost.

But you would look so good, like that's the thing.

Would you be good at carrying out the mission?

Maybe not, but you would have the best outfit and you would have coordinated it and been like all right, I found these, I'm gonna get them for all of us.

We're gonna look really cute.

There would have been a plan and then we would botch the mission yeah, yeah Or get distracted.

Things would not necessarily go as planned, but there would be a very, very good plan going into it.

And I would get great photos.

So we all contribute our things.

No, I, because with the photo shoot, Katie was like, this is what Allie does.

Stop calling it a photo shoot before we left.

So, okay.

There's a ton of girls that go and boys.

There's a ton of kids at this, that also dance at the same dance studio.

And so, when it's time, when they have their dress rehearsal, which is always on a Thursday We get them ready at the school.

They let us borrow the Spanish classroom and we all go in there with our hairspray and our makeup and our chaos.

We get all the girls ready and then they leave in their costumes.

And I ever the opportunist to take a photo was like, these girls are so cute.

We need to get a group photo.

And so it was merely a picture of the group.

But do you know?

That was the beginning of what has now evolved into this like 25 dancer.

We've got to take over the Spanish room.

Actually, they moved us to.

We got a new room.

The former dance room.

Yeah.

Because we needed so much space.

But that was the very beginning where you were like oh, we can just get the girls ready in the office.

And so I think we just tagged along because I didn't know what to do.

I thought this was your idea.

I always think every good idea starts with you.

I think it starts with you.

Is this why we love each other?

We're each other's biggest fans.

This is all we do when we get together.

I'm like, no, you're so amazing.

No, you're so pretty.

No, you're the best.

You're the best.

But when we tell the other that you're so pretty, is that like we're telling ourselves that, because everyone tells us we look alike.

Okay, this is one of my favorite things.

Okay, I forget who the first person was.

This was a couple months ago.

Someone was like, has anyone ever told you?

I think it was after my birthday party.

I wonder if it was Liz and Annie maybe that were like.

Has anyone ever told you that you and Seema look alike?

And I was like, that is the greatest compliment I've ever been given.

I don't think I should tell Seema.

Like, I don't know that that's a compliment for you.

It is, but it is for me.

And then we were told that well, I think I was faking being asleep at this point, which we'll get to, but we were told that in the infusion center asked if we were sisters.

Do you think we look like for obvious reasons?

I, I think we're pretty distinct.

Yeah.

We'll get to that.

We'll also get to that.

I think I confuse people.

Confuse a lot of people at Dartmouth.

I didn't realize how confusing I am.

You're not.

But yes, in the infusion center, while I was drifting off into my At a van induced nap or I was trying to nap trying you were under a microscope.

You were being grilled by the nice fellow cancer patients who really needed to know Your background, your ethnicity, your entire family history.

What you eat, that was important.

Yeah, we'll get to that when we recap the day.

So all this to say we became friends, I would say mostly because of that flight, but then really through the kids and through our daughters going to school together and dancing together and

You do have this really special group of you and Steph and Sarah, the S squad, which I can't believe the three of you don't have a name for yourselves, because your names all start with S.

Well, didn't we land on Sass?

Oh, I don't know.

I wasn't part of that.

Oh, wait, because I'm the A?

You're the A in Sass.

Okay, I love that.

And I would have renamed our... What about Ass?

That's also an option.

Okay.

Depends on the day.

As we were talking earlier about how you never swear.

And I'm like, all I do is swear.

Which, do it more, Seema.

I wish it was true.

Seema said the F word in a text a couple weeks ago.

And I got chills.

I was so excited.

I think I screenshot it for like, I was like, I'm going to save this forever.

I feel like the context was really appropriate.

I forget.

I have to go back and find what it was about.

If I had to guess, dance?

Yeah.

Would be my guess.

Schedules?

There's been a lot of the use of that word with the false lashes lately, but yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not equipped to be a dance mom.

You are.

You're equipped to be every kind of mom and you are the magic maker and you make everything special.

And this group that we're, Annie and I are so lucky to be a part of now.

Um, you would do girls nights and you would do your Sunday fun days, which I remember our first Sunday fun day where we went to Ryan's house for breakfast.

And I think we left at 4 p.m.

And I was like, oh, this is what they've been talking about.

Like these days, like this was this was never just a breakfast invite.

Yeah.

The plan is always that it's breakfast.

But then like all of our plans.

They just, they change.

And it was a whole day and the girls have fun and we get to have fun.

We played paddle ball.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So we become friends.

You said you did some online stalking.

Cause.

Here's the other thing is at that point, when you and I got to know each other, I was going through cancer for the first time.

I had had my surgeries.

I was in the middle of chemo.

When we would have become friends.

I would have just finished chemo but was still going like this was still part of my life again.

And I'm not like rolling up to group functions being like, hi, I'm Allie.

Here's my trauma.

Will you accept me into your group?

So do you remember like how did you know that I, I guess, had cancer and had all this going on?

So when Katie sort of alluded to, you're a public figure.

And then there was some sort of a conversation about Chicago and the marathon.

Yeah.

And so I think I looked up, I don't even think I knew your last name at that point.

So I think I looked on the run.

Nope.

Legally.

Allie.

It's a good one.

Thank you.

Everyone, everyone should have a chosen last name.

Yeah.

You picked a good one.

So I think I looked, do you remember that time when you saw my search history at gymnastics?

Yeah.

No, this is one of my favorite SEMA things is that this was after my most recent diagnosis, right?

Yeah.

And you pulled up something on your phone and I was sitting next to you.

I was trying to find a cake to ask you about a cake for Reese's birthday and get your opinion.

But I didn't realize that my search history was there and you're looking over my shoulder and you started.

It was like stage four breast cancer prognosis, stage four breast cancer treatment.

What to do for a friend with stage four breast cancer.

And I was like, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

And you sent me an apology text later that day.

I didn't realize until later. that that's what you saw.

I thought you were reacting to the cake and you weren't a fan of the cake.

And so then I got, I was like, should I not order the cake?

No, it was sweet.

Like you, had taken the information that I had given you and taken it upon yourself to learn more and want to support.

And I saw that and I was like, oh my God, like she's such a good friend.

Well, and this was before I threw all my problems at Chatty.

Chatty is okay.

So here's the other thing.

There are so many ways that you and I are so similar in so many ways.

We're so not.

And a big one is that I am so anti AI.

Like I can't handle it.

I want nothing to do with it.

Tell everyone who's your best friend.

Like who would you, if you had to rank, if you've got, you know, like Kelly, Steph, Seema, Seema, Sarah, if I I'll throw myself in the mix, but like chatty is your true confidant. chatty chat GPT um but chatty to me she's so supportive well because you talk to her like she's a friend recently learned that it's part of the model that it's supposed to be really reinforcing and you have to actually go in and change the setting to train it to be more realistic as opposed to your number one fan and cheerleader so our relationship has changed recently I remember last year.

So not this past holiday season, but last year, which you and I were definitely friends at that point.

But it was still, you know, still a newer friendship.

And I remember I think it was the holidays, not end of year.

But anyway, I was like hey, and I knew you were not the right person to ask of like, what do you do for teacher gifts?

Because in my head, I'm like, I get a Target gift card and I write a nice handwritten note.

Like there's no creativity.

There's nothing that I do that's special.

And you were like, well, I have like a poem that I'm giving to all the teachers.

And I was like, you're kidding me.

I didn't write the poem.

Well, I know that now.

I admitted it.

And yeah, at the time, I just remember being like, what in the world?

It does tell the teachers that Chatty helped me with.

It was so impressive.

It was like it worked in all these stories about the school and the teachers.

And I was just like, this is amazing.

Anyway, here's my Target gift cards.

I love you and I appreciate you.

So, yes, you use chat.

GPT is very supportive of you.

You have a very tight bond.

And I'm glad that chatty has been there for you during this trying time for all of us.

Well, but it's been very helpful.

Well, I don't know how helpful it's been.

I mean, we probably should reevaluate that relationship a little bit, but I think it's cute.

Yeah.

The, the Google search was before Chatty and I really formed our, yeah.

How did we get here?

We were talking about gymnastics.

I saw your phone cake.

We were talking about the Google search and back.

Oh, how you knew that I had cancer, how I knew you had cancer.

And so I I don't think I had very much information at all about you and I wasn't going to start texting our mutual friends to be like hey, what's the deal, what's the hot gossip?

I mean, i assume plenty of those texts exist in this community and i wasn't driving by your house so it's just googling you.

But it was like alley new hampshire runner, chicago marathon divorce cancer, bringing along a bunch of random things to get to kind of like stage four.

What do i do?

Yeah, help me have a plan.

And Then yeah, I mean you, you come up really fast.

Yeah, I don't Google myself.

Yeah, I had to stop doing that years ago because you see results that you from places of the Internet that you don't want to see.

So I haven't Googled myself in like probably well over a decade.

I mean, there would be a lot about you if you Googled yourself, as opposed to like I haven't, because I don't think there would be anything that would come up.

I'm going to Google you later.

Do you want to tell everyone what you do for work?

Let's paint a picture of who you are, what your life looks like.

We've obviously touched on the fact you have two daughters.

You briefly mentioned Randy.

He doesn't come up all that much.

I love Randy.

Randy is one of my favorite husbands of all my friends.

Is it because he leaves every week so we can have girls night?

Okay, one of my favorite things about Randy is he is so supportive of girls night.

But that is honestly a big part of, I think, how we've gotten so close is that your husband travels so much for work.

And that means we get a lot of girl time.

So give us a bit of background about who you are, what you do, where you're from.

Give us the SEMA 101.

Yeah.

Well, if you want to go all the way back to when I was little.

Yeah, I honestly do.

I mean, I grew up in the South, which is hilarious and doesn't try.

You do not have southern girl energy.

Um yeah, my parents still have our house in nashville, so that's still technically home, but we i went to school in the midwest, so i also have really deep roots in ohio, in illinois, and after i graduated i moved to chicago, so chicago was home for over 20 years, which is how we ended up back in chicago on that flight.

Um, And we do have our Chicago Marathon running connection.

Yeah.

Talk about how you're a runner.

Talk about how you were a runner because you're going to correct me.

My whole thing is like, if you've ever run, you're a runner.

But I will say, after being at the finish line with Steffi at the New York Marathon and that entire experience getting to cheer you on and being so energized and excited and seeing how amazing everyone was it does make me want to do one more.

Okay.

How, when did you run?

You ran the Chicago marathon.

10, 10, 10.

Oh, very popular wedding day that year.

I remember.

Oh yeah.

I bet.

Yeah.

10, 10, 10.

And Sloan was born on Chicago marathon day.

Yeah.

So I feel like, you know, you got to get back, got to get back into it.

Why did you run the Chicago marathon?

Like what were you running a lot at the time?

Was it a bucket list thing?

I, So this kind of goes back to what did I do, kind of who I am.

So at that time, I was in management consulting.

I worked for Accenture.

I was traveling full-time to Bentonville, Arkansas, of all places.

Glam.

So glam.

And I was just surrounded by a bunch of type A people driven people and pretty much everyone had run a marathon.

And I was like, that's how we get you.

I, I'm not a runner.

I was a gymnast growing up.

So I had a little bit of athleticism.

I don't have, no, you were like a serious gymnast.

Don't downplay that.

You were like, what was your coolest skill?

What was like the most impressive thing you could do?

I loved front tumbling.

Like front flips?

So a front handspring, front pike, step out, front handspring, front layout was my jam.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Should I fully tear the rest of my ACL?

SEMA has been broken for like a full year now.

Yeah.

I have to get another one.

You know my theory on this is just really run it into the ground before you have surgery.

So my thought is I start physical therapy soon.

And I'm going to tell the therapist that my goal is to be able to run the New York Marathon.

Stuff.

Yeah.

We'll make that happen.

But.

Remember that text that I sent that no one responded to about this?

Oh, my God.

Do you know why?

OK, here's the thing.

Do I remember the text?

No.

Do you bring it up every time we're all together?

My favorite thing.

Yes.

Hey, guys, I sent that text and I responded.

I was like, but not in a way that felt like you were really responding.

You sent a text about not the Army 10 miler, but some other run.

The Soldier Field 10 miler and also the Bears.

There's bears there?

No, the football team.

Oh, God, please.

So they're moving out of the city.

The bears are moving out of the city.

They almost went to the Super Bowl.

Did that already happen?

They lost on Sunday.

It was very sad.

Oh, did they play Indiana?

People are excited about Indiana.

No, I think that's college.

The Patriots won.

I watched the game, but I have no idea who they played.

You watched a game?

Oh, Rams.

They played the Rams because...

Sloan, my animal loving child, had to cheer for both teams because their mascots were both animals.

And we were like, honey, that is not how it works.

So cute.

I asked her when we were over last week.

I was like Sloan, are you still?

Are you going to be a vet when you grow up?

And she goes, no animal rescue.

It's apparently a big difference.

Yeah.

Which I guess it is a big difference.

And I was like, well, you just fed your dog dinner twice.

So you might want to you might want to brush up on your skills, kid.

I didn't say that.

She's perfect.

Animal rescue.

Yeah.

Living in the wilderness.

Wait, what were we talking about?

Okay, well, we started.

Also, welcome to hanging out with me and Seema.

We've never finished a conversation.

So management consulting.

Yep.

Hire me.

I'm such a good consultant.

I'm going to get your project done on time and under budget.

Which is so, it's ironic because I was really good at it.

I was a consultant for 20 years.

You're good at everything.

We just need to get the Valentine's day party invitations out today.

They're going out.

Okay.

I was a management consultant for 20 years.

Yes.

So many people had run a marathon and they were like, it's the best.

And a lot of people on my project had been training for runs.

And I was like, well, that sounds like fun.

And my best friend, Kelly was a runner.

Love her.

And, she had convinced me we had done a couple of half marathons and they were so much fun.

And she, I think decided that we needed to do the Chicago marathon.

And at that point also um my one of my other best friends in Chicago, Cassie.

She was running for a really, really good friends charity that he had started.

He had had a really bad ski accident and um was doing the had done a bunch of marathons in a wheelchair really inspirational.

He had a charity that he had started, I think.

And so she was raising money for that.

And she was like, would you guys want to run and raise money?

And so it all.

There were like a bunch of little pieces that came together to make the full 10 10, 10 marathon puzzle.

And that was it.

What do you remember most about race day?

All the volunteers.

I mean, can you imagine?

It's the most see my answer I've ever heard.

But think about that.

I mean, I think about this a lot.

It's like you give up your entire day to hand these people little cups of Gatorade and water.

Yeah.

Volunteering is awesome.

And cheer them on.

And it just we would pass by water stations and it would make me make me cry.

Emotionally inconsistent.

I'm just like, thank you. you're the best.

And then, so you run Chicago and then after that, did you keep running or did you stop running?

I did not do a great job training.

So I was on a really, really hard project which meant that I would have to do like 10 miles, 12 miles, whatever it was, before work, because I never knew when I would be done.

And I was in the middle of nowhere Arkansas, like I wasn't super comfortable running late at night and it was also summer and all the things, and so I did a, really I did a number on my knees.

Yeah, I didn't do any of the right training, like I don't think.

I think you're supposed to weight train while you're running, for you can, you don't have to, but yeah, so it beat you up a little bit.

It beat me up.

I kept running.

I kept doing yoga, but nothing as consistently as I was doing to train.

It wasn't like I'm going to start running marathons.

It was like I ran the marathon, like I ran the one I wanted to run.

And yeah, see where we go from here.

And then Kelly and I ran a few more half marathons after that.

I remember we did.

The Philly half, the rock and roll half in Philly.

Oh, that's fun.

We've done that a few times.

And that was the very first race I ever did.

And it was so much fun.

And then I had to go to London for work right after the Philly half.

And I just wore like basically like full body compression to get on the plane.

And I got off the plane and basically had to go straight to work.

Oh, God.

And I felt amazing.

Oh.

And it was like the biggest revelation.

Is that the right word, revelation?

Yeah.

Sounded good.

I don't know.

And I was like compression socks when you travel are the most important thing that you can do for yourself.

So there you go.

Yeah.

I'm supposed to do that because of the blood clots.

Yeah.

But I don't.

So let's go shopping for compression socks.

I think we, I think happy Valentine's day.

Any excuse to shop.

I'm going to get you compression socks for Valentine's day.

This is where you're one of my worst influences.

Like right before we started recording and you show me this cute picture of like, do I need this?

And I'm like, yes, of course.

Get three.

Get three cereal bowls for your daughters.

Okay.

What do they say?

I seriously love you.

Like that's cute.

And your kids eat cereal.

So you need those bowls.

They probably shouldn't, but they do.

It's fine.

There's a lot of things that none of us should do.

Do you know what I had for dinner last night?

A Levain bakery cookie.

Well, I have a freezer full of them.

And I went to, so I did the hit hot, hit Pilates class.

I went Monday and Tuesday.

Wow.

And I think Saturday.

You did.

Yeah.

I'm very into it right now.

It's because it's really hard.

And it's one of those things that every week I'm like, oh, it's too hard.

I can't do it.

I suck at this.

But then you go and you're amazing at it.

I'm not amazing at it, but I feel so good afterward because you just sweat so much.

And my house is so cold because I don't heat it.

You should take Reese.

To hot yoga?

To hot Pilates?

I'll take Reese anywhere.

I've been begging to take Reese for a day.

All she does is complain about how cold she is, which she probably gets it from me, because that's all I do all day is complain about how cold I am.

Me too.

And my thing lately is I can't be productive when I'm cold, but I refuse to turn the heat up any higher in my house.

So what's a girl to do?

Get more robes.

What?

Okay, this is the other thing.

So I meet you, you know, i see you at the airport and i'm like this woman is glamorous as hell, like it was not the brand of shoe you were wearing.

Now, who made the shoes you're wearing?

Someone who makes the boots.

Someone is going to see me and be like sima who makes the boots.

Those boots yes, they're not from target.

They're not from target.

They are.

They are the red soul boots, but they're also like They're a lifetime purchase.

The cost per wear on those things.

I know.

I support.

Get three.

It's as if we need them for the ass group.

I should pay Louis Vuitton for my boots because I've had them for so long.

I should pay you because I get to see you in them and that feels like a gift.

All that to say, this is the most supportive.

I meet you and I'm like, she's so fancy.

She's so classy and amazing.

I am now at the point no, i show up at girls.

I don't even try anymore, like not that i've ever tried hard.

But i now show up to girls nights in bathrobes.

New year's eve, i showed up in my bathrobe, which to me.

Right now i'm wearing a bathroom and i'm wearing my favorite sweatshirt ever.

Team alley yeah, you got two.

Well, you're a vip who has two.

Well, but the reason why i feel like it's important that we share, why I needed to.

It's because I had worn mine so much that there needed to be an inside team Allie sweatshirt and one that can be worn in public.

Yeah.

So is this today, is this public or is this inside?

This is my for public.

Oh my God.

You wore your fancy team Allie?

I wore my fancy team Allie.

Well, I also dropped the girls off.

Oh, which again, I see you at drop off and pick up and I'm like, God, you look incredible.

And I'm like tracking me this morning.

I'm like, Oh, she's getting there right on time.

I check your location almost every morning to see what time you leave the house to bring the girls to school.

I'm already back home.

Also, I go much further to get to this school.

Um, no, that is one of my favorite things.

Sometimes, when I'm driving back home after dropping Annie off, I will see you leaving your house because you're, if I go that way, you're on my way home and I always wave, and you've never once waved back.

Zero, zero times.

Have you waved back to me when you've been in your car?

So I'll keep trying though.

I'll keep trying.

There's a lot going on in the car in the mornings on the way to school.

As I said earlier today, By the time you've dropped your kids off at school, you've lived an entire life.

It is so true.

Yeah. you're doing amazing and you're the best mom and you make everything special.

Um, I want to talk about this November because you mentioned it.

So, um, you and our friend Steph, Steph is also, Steph is a longtime runner.

Steph has run marathons.

Steph lived in New York.

She went to, she went to NYU, right?

Like she's, she's a New Yorker.

Um, so she loves the New York city marathon.

And this year it was so amazing, special to me, because you and Steph came to New York and you kept, like you had talked about it leading up of, like we want to come, we're going to come to your live show and we were going to come to the marathon.

And I feel like I never not that I didn't respond, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to because you've already been doing so much for me.

We couldn't believe we were invited.

We were invited to everything.

I want you at everything.

Like you're invited to chemo.

You're invited to everything.

I mean, but you came, you came to New York, you got up, you drove down early.

And I.

So I want to hear about that weekend from your perspective because, of course, people listening to this are part of the alley on the run show community who maybe were there and maybe were at the show, maybe ran the race.

Like, They know what those weekends are like.

From their perspective, what was that weekend like for you?

It made the top five highlight reel.

I think for both Steffi and me.

Top five what?

All time?

Well, definitely of 2025.

If you were to rank like wedding day, kids being born, New York City Marathon 2025.

I mean, definitely top 10.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, you don't remember meeting Randy, but you remember being at the finish line.

I mean, so...

Steffi drove us.

She's such a good driver.

No one wants me driving.

You're a good driver.

You drove my car.

Oh, we'll talk about that.

Oh, we're going to have to talk about that.

Okay, we'll get to that.

Because I was wondering if you knew how nervous I was driving.

No, I had had so much at a van.

I wasn't worried about a thing.

I'm glad.

I was like, Seema is the best driver.

Such a good driver.

I drove like 30 miles.

In a snowstorm.

Steffi drove.

She picked me up.

I don't know.

5 a.m.

I was tracking.

Yep.

Randy got up and made us coffee, which was so nice.

It's the best barista.

So we were well fueled and we got there so fast.

Yeah.

Steph, you made a playlist.

We didn't listen to it.

We just chatted the entire time.

We were so, so, so excited.

Got there, settled in, walked over and the venue.

I mean, we just we knew it was going to be really cool, but I don't think we were prepared.

And there was just so much.

There's so much emotion and then oh, you cried as soon as i saw you.

I do remember that backstage, so embarrassing.

No, it makes me happy because i am also like, i'm emotional and i cry happy tears and i cry like i cry all the kinds of tears and so no, i feel like i've met my match or like so embarrassing it also.

It always just surprises me when you're crying, Cause it's cute.

And you try to like keep it in and then your eyes are just soaking wet.

I love it.

I find it very endearing.

And then you never know what the mascara situation is going to be.

It's fine.

You had a dressing room, so it's okay.

We show up, we were so excited.

Everything had gone so smoothly, and it was one of those weekends where everything just worked out, worked out.

Everything was so great.

The crowd was amazing.

We got to go down and we did miss, we wanted to get some extra sweatshirts.

I don't know why we want to hoard them.

We just love them so much.

I have a rack of them.

I know.

I don't know.

Were we going to just like random strangers on this show?

Were we going to sell them?

You were like, we've heard there's demand for these.

We know people want merch, which also, can we plan merch?

I had a call yesterday about merch.

Yeah, I'll fill you in after.

Can't wait.

Yeah um, I know some friends in New York who would probably want to help out with.

I heard people were selling stuff on a street corner outside the live show.

I don't know what to tell you.

It's happening.

It was the best.

So we cried our way through the live show.

I mean every single thing about it.

I mean it.

I had to sit on my hands at one point to contain.

I

And we had a great group.

Like we had a great little backstage crew.

And okay, this was one of my favorite parts of the day.

Was you getting to meet so many of my friends?

So one of my top, top highlights of that weekend was spending time with Michael.

I knew you were going to say Michael.

I knew.

Both Steph and I were like, we're all going to go on vacation together soon, right?

Yeah.

We're all now best friends.

And I was so excited for you to meet Michael because I just, like, you're so similar.

Like, you and Michael just, you're, yeah.

That is such a compliment.

Yeah.

Wow.

How would she feel about you saying that?

She would love it.

Okay, good.

It was, everything just clicked.

Yeah.

And then, sorry, being able to see you backstage after and then walk you yeah we got some good time it was yeah and we weren't expecting it like we had we came in thinking how lucky are we that we get to just go to the show and get to see and spend a little bit of time with Ali maybe before or after we had no idea but then to get the amount of time that we got and to see you in your element and to see all the people who were there for you and who obviously support you and your journey and all the things I can't stand that word but also just how amazing you are at your job talking professionally because I don't shut up the that's don't say that about my friend my twin an insult to me is an insult to both of us you are so witty and quick and kind and fun and generous in your conversations and I think It's overwhelming for anyone.

But I would imagine you're an athlete.

You get on the world stage to do your thing and run.

That doesn't necessarily translate into a sit-down interview with someone.

It doesn't necessarily prepare you or make you comfortable kind of talking about what you do.

And you made it seem so effortless for Sydney.

And she shone and was amazing and did such a great job. all of it just, it's a good day.

Yeah.

And then we got to walk to the finish line.

We hung out backstage, just, it ended up like everyone had their things to go to.

And I loved, like it was so nice for me to be at this big work weekend like my biggest work weekend of the year and to get to be with two of my best friends from home.

Like that was really nice for me.

Um, and especially like this sounds so dumb.

But after those events were like you're on this big stage and everyone's in team alley sweatshirts and they're clapping and you're just like on just such a high.

It's really nice to just like get to be with my people after and, like you know, be brought back down to earth a little.

But also the quiet moments are really quiet and you go from this roaring auditorium or whatever it is.

You're on stage.

You're getting like so much energy.

And then you go back and it's quiet.

And it's just us.

Talking about our kids and silly stuff.

And Connor gave me my favorite cookie, which he was handing out to everyone because he's the best.

And then he let me take home one of the extra taxis.

Oh, that's right.

A stress squishy for Reese.

I feel like context is probably important.

Reese Reese is a feisty sassy five-year-old with Reese is your second born yeah she's the second born yeah it's a lot of a lot of opinions and meltdowns yeah but man well I don't I have soft spot for all these kids in different ways but like Reese has always been my little bud Reese likes to call you mom Reese calls me mama she's sometimes she's packed overnight bags Oh my gosh.

Wait, that was early on.

Very early on.

I still have a picture of the overnight bag and she packed it so well.

She said she was going to come live with me.

She, she had an outfit and pajamas, books, and she put her toothbrush.

Toothbrush.

I remember the toothbrush.

Very proud of her.

Yeah.

And she was what, four then?

Oh, she was four.

Yeah.

Good for her.

Well, it meant the world to me having you and Steph there in New York was so special.

And then On Sunday, you were at the finish line.

You got.

Thank you, Christine Burke, for hooking the girlies up with some Blue Line Lounge finish line passes.

And Christine.

We forever grateful, but also, I think Steph and I were.

We were like we are going to make this worth it.

We had zero voice left.

I think Steph's hands were bleeding. laughing so much.

How many times did you cry?

I can't, I mean, just the entire time, the whole time.

Yeah.

And we were screaming people's names.

We were, I mean, there were, there were some folks that were kind of standing next to us.

And I think at one point they just left because they were like my ears hurt on your Apple watch where it's like environment too loud.

So one thing I loved at one point, you And I had some time I went I always go up to the announcing booth because that's what I started doing when I worked for the marathon as I was one of the announcers and so I go up to the booth because I just love all of them and I love going up there and seeing them and saying hi.

And they were like, oh my gosh, they were like at.

You know, before the winners came through, we were making announcements and we said something, and we said Allie on the run.

She's like, and the crowd went crazy.

Like you weren't even here yet.

And people are cheering for you.

I later learned it was you and stuff.

It was, it was not like, Oh my gosh, like people in the crowd were cheering.

And then I was like, Oh, it was my friends.

No, it definitely was the entire crowd.

It's not true.

It absolutely is true.

But that was probably, you know, when you just like need that first cry to kind of like the dominoes.

That, that brought it out.

That was it.

Just hearing Allie on the run.

Well, and they, they like.

I can't even remember what they said, but there was a very sweet little intro about you and it just well, I just loved that you were there.

Like it was, and we made eye contact when I, when Christine and I came up in the car.

Oh, I got the best picture.

I mean, it but I didn't know, like, I didn't know exactly where you would be.

I didn't know.

And we I mean we fully like made eye contact, like exchanged a couple words and I was just like this is so cool.

So it's a wonder that I didn't flip over that barrier and end up on the course.

Um, well you, you know, you've been there for so many of the big things, right?

Like being there in New York and obviously coming to chemo.

Um, but you've also really become one of my people who's just like always there for me, whether it's a text or a phone call or girls night like doing Wednesday night, girls nights over the past year and a half is like I don't know.

There's some weeks that it's just like, Oh, it'll be fun.

But there are weeks where I'm like, I need this.

Like I need, I need to hang out with my friend or like Just Annie and I want to be with you girls.

And it's just like and we need it just as much as you need it.

And it's that's this is our village.

Like you've also shown me a lot about what it means to be. such a big part of someone's village.

Like you are so the person who shows up and in so many ways.

And so I want to go back and talk a little bit about, well, first let's talk about what you do now.

We, as usual, we started on where you were born, but talk about what you do for work now and what the days look like.

Well, it's funny because the reason why we're here to begin with is because of my work.

So Chicago was home for over 20 years, management consulting, working at Accenture.

And that was my life.

I lived in Chicago for 23 years, if not more.

Worked for Accenture for 20 years.

When I left, they called it a retirement.

Congrats.

Yay.

Here I go.

Retired.

But I did sort of leave very specific type of profession for something very different.

Like I was working with consumer facing industries and now I work in public health, working with state agencies and legislators, and the core of what we do is we help state departments of health implement sustained funding for public health programs.

And that translates very specifically right now to working with the Department of Health to make sure that they have all the funding and resources that they need to purchase vaccines for their state's population and make sure that there's no financial barriers to anyone accessing those vaccines if they want them.

And we've taken that and we've applied it to other types of public health, just health care in general.

So we're using the same model that we're using for vaccine programs for psychiatry access programs and we're doing it for opioid overdose drug programs.

Yeah, it's a very, very different world.

But when the opportunity came around, my thought was I have been searching for something that's a bit more purpose driven.

Not that I didn't love my clients or the work that I did at Accenture.

It's really important to have the option to buy online and pick up in store or have it delivered.

I mean, I mean, very critical.

Someone who recently discovered DoorDash.

Uh, yeah.

And I love love, loved the work that I did.

But this is it's a whole new world and it's really really hard, but it feels really important and it's a weird time to be doing the work that I'm doing.

How's that going?

How are things?

Conversations are really different now.

But to be able to do this work, my family had to move from Chicago to Concord, New Hampshire.

It's the reason why Randy travels.

His work is still in Chicago.

So he goes back every week.

And so to go from and when I was in Chicago I lived walking distance from my college roommate and her family and, like three other people that I basically grew up with through college and all of my friends in Chicago were like lifelong kind of college friends.

And so this concept of you're going to move somewhere you're going to have no community, no network, no friends, no ties to really anything.

In New Hampshire, which is a lovely place to live.

Beautiful.

But we lived in the city in Chicago and we bought our house sight unseen here.

It was a crazy, crazy time coming out of COVID.

That was during the pandemic, right?

It was tail end.

And I guess not really.

Yeah.

Towards the end.

So my sister kept saying you're going to find really good friends with Sloan and Reese's parent, like the parents of their friends.

And I was like, that doesn't resonate with me.

Like Sloan was in school in Chicago and I was friendly with her friend's parents from school, but there was no actual connection there.

So that just didn't resonate with me.

I was like how am I going to go and not replace, but like find the types of friendships that I have here in Chicago?

I mean, these have been my people for decades.

Literally, my college roommate was down the street and our families were so tight and So it was really scary, but we moved here anyway because this was really important work and we thought you know hey, sometimes you don't know what's going to happen.

You can try it out.

If it doesn't work, we can always move back to Chicago.

No, that's off the table.

Interest rates.

That's no longer an option.

Just FYI.

I don't know if you got the memo, but you live here now.

We live here forever.

And the very first day at school for sloan, she met ryan and a couple weeks later i met stephy and i was like steph is ryan's mom.

Yeah, i was like i think things are going, we're gonna, we're gonna find some friends here, but i didn't realize that i would actually find my people yeah, like a real, like a real connection, like real family, that you Friends who are family, which is what we have in Chicago.

But to be able to find it again, I feel very, very lucky.

Yeah.

And like the girls night, Randy's gone a lot.

And to get to spend time with people who we love, who bring us so much happiness and joy, and connection makes it easy to show up.

I mean, it never feels like, oh, I'm showing up for anyone.

It just feels like we're just doing these things for each other.

What am I contributing?

Sarcastic remarks.

Bagged salad.

A salmon dinner and butter noodles for the girls.

A pound, that a pound.

The first four weeks I'm not so good at the portions and belly got two dinners, but yeah, so I'm, I'm really contributing to this group and you always hand me a piece of chocolate out of your, out of my pockets.

I always have pocket chocolate.

Pocket chocolate is the best.

Yeah, I remember one of the first times maybe the first time that we went to your house for a girls night and the whole group was there.

And I remember after like we had eaten and of course you were like, I didn't do anything.

And there's like a perfect cheese board and there's cut up vegetables for the kids.

Like when you ask Sloan and Reese what mommy can make, they're like a cheese board.

Oh, yeah, they did say that when we were talking about Valentine's Day.

Sloan was like, my mom can put the cheese on the plate.

And I was like, hell yeah, she can.

Like nobody's business.

Honey, it's a skill.

Not really.

But I just remember as soon as we had finished eating, Steph is washing dishes.

Sarah is putting everything away and new.

Like I just remember them so seamlessly, moving about your kitchen and And knowing where everything was and just feeling like this is an amazing group.

I think at this point you've maybe cooked in my kitchen as much as I have.

Yes, I've really worked hard on the pasta and the salmon.

I know how to work your oven, so that's good.

But I was just like, this is a group of, you know, these women are looking out for each other.

They're not just like, here to have fun.

They're like.

We all know each other's daughter's favorite colors and what they want to be when they grew up.

And like, it just, it feels like a special time in life to have those friendships, right?

Like these aren't, these aren't the friendships you have that are just in college, or you know, like I don't know.

I think I talk so much in these episodes about friendship as an adult and what that looks like.

And I think I preach probably an obnoxious amount about how You can't just expect that to fall in your lap.

You have to stalk the woman from the airport.

If you want friends, you have to be so aggressive that you find her in the parking lot.

You convince her to be your friend and you do drive by her house and then you add her on find my friends.

You know where she is at all.

Like that's how you show up.

You look her up even though you don't know her last name.

Figure out.

Alley, New Hampshire, running, question mark.

Chicago Marathon.

Airport?

I think it was the Chicago Marathon thing that really, because, you know.

Yeah.

So the first time that I was going through a cancer diagnosis journey number one that was when we met.

And so we didn't really know each other while I was going through the thick of all of it.

You and I became close when I was sort of getting my life back, I think.

And again, the timelines are all a little fuzzy to me.

But I mean, we've gotten really close over the past year, especially.

And then in the course of that year, back in May, which at this point, we were very close.

We were doing girls nights.

We were doing the dance circuit.

We were, you know.

The routine was in.

I fully, you know, I remember before Spring Fling, which is the annual spring concert, which I do think is Probably my second favorite school event.

Very cute.

Pumpkin stroll is number one.

I mean, hands down.

I fucking live for the pumpkin stroll.

I don't know if there's anything better than the pumpkin stroll.

The pumpkin stroll is great because as your kids get older, so it's they they do.

Like everyone carves pumpkins.

They put them out all over the campus.

They light them.

You walk through.

It's amazing.

But as your kids get older, they want to run around the pumpkin stroll with their friends, and it's dark out.

And so you just hope for the best.

You just hope at the end of the night you have a kid.

Hopefully it's yours.

It's school.

So it's safe.

And then they just run off.

If they run off, they can just go to class in the morning.

Yeah.

So yeah, like spring fling, which was also Reese's birthday.

And that was when I was like going through all the tests.

I think I must have had my diagnosis at that point, but no one knew.

I mean, you guys did.

I don't know where I was going with that, but I just you know you've been there for all of these like very big, heavy days over the past, let's say eight months maybe.

Um, so I want to talk about what that's been like from your perspective uh, as going back to that Google search.

Going back to that Google search.

Yeah.

Um, I don't know.

Do you remember me tell, I don't remember how I told you, but I mean, you knew I was in pain.

It was at the picnic.

Because Jackie was there.

Yeah.

And I was like, hi, so good to see Jackie back.

Why is she back so soon after your birthday?

And I knew that you had had pain.

And so, you know, my spidey senses were up and I think I was just probably staring at you and you felt like you had to just tell me, because I was probably like what's going on?

Wow.

Sorry.

No, I mean, I maybe didn't leave you an option because I was kind of like, what's going on?

Yeah.

And then the next day, I think, was gymnastics.

And then Steffi checked in and she was like, I don't remember the sequence of timing of all of this.

But once Steffi knew, she checked in with me, which I thought was so lovely and thoughtful.

And I was like, why are you trying to take care of me like that?

But I think that I like to just jump into a solution.

Like I need a plan.

So when you told me, I was kind of like, I probably had no emotion.

I think I probably just processed and was looking at you.

And I think I remember saying, okay, what is, what's next?

What are we doing next?

Because I don't think this, the second opinion had not yet happened.

No.

Cause that was, uh, no, the second opinion was right after Memorial.

It was after.

Yeah.

So the second opinion hadn't happened.

It was really, really early.

Yeah.

And yeah.

So I did a lot of Googling.

I did a lot of, Scenario planning.

Yeah.

How's that going?

Well, better now.

Then what?

Yeah.

And then I feel like Jackie and Connor, my God, they're amazing.

And they just mobilize so quickly.

And your entire support squad is just the best of the best.

And so there was very quickly once your email went out.

Then, very quickly after that, there was A freezer in my garage.

Fully stocked.

And it was, well, and that was the thing, right?

It was, there's sort of the local crew, right?

And then there's your national crew.

Better description for it.

What do we want to call it?

We distinguish between.

Ass.

I'm calling everything ass.

There's ass.

And then there's global ass.

Yeah.

And so many local friends were chatting and trying to figure out what's going to be the most productive, what's going to be the most effective.

And I remember thinking this can get really chaotic really quick because you have kind of the national macro conversations happening.

Not everyone locally is connected to that.

And so I think we really wanted to make sure that it didn't start to get overwhelming or confusing for you, and Connor and Jackie did such a good job of just kind of putting things into categories.

So, like CMD, take care of the food.

You guys are local, you can figure that out.

We're gonna figure out the schedule and chemo buddies, you know, and there was just a really good plan.

And I remember when I called Dee and I chatted and it was so fun to just be able to connect with her.

That's also just like a best friendship waiting to happen.

I mean... Oh, my God.

One of the first conversations was, so, like, local food options?

And I was like, oh, yeah, there's so many great ones.

And she was like, oh, good.

And I was like, oh, no, I'm kidding.

Like, we don't have restaurants here.

I was like, there are no options.

She was like, oh...

I was like, have you like, we have three restaurants.

Two of them are closed on Tuesdays, which is when Allie has chemo.

And the other is closed on Mondays, the night before chemo.

Yes.

Every time a friend comes up to take me to chemo and I forget this and it's Monday night and I'm like all right, I need to feed us because we have chemo in the morning.

And then I'm like, OK, well, guess we're ordering from Margarita's again.

Get those chicken mini chimis.

Well, and this was this is where just from a support perspective.

Right.

Like there's I think there's a lot of trial and error.

Yeah.

And you always want to come out with the best plan possible.

And I think Dean, I were like, OK, we're going to start.

I'm going to.

I was like we'll get a rotation of Whole Foods delivery, because Whole Foods actually delivers, which is great.

And so you can have your groceries on auto, auto replenish and it'll just show up.

And so we started down that path.

And then I was like do we really think Allie's going to want like all these groceries showing up on her doorstep?

And then we chatted about it and you were like well, I don't know if that's something that I need right now.

And I think you also were just very aware of this outpour of support and you didn't want people to go out of their ways.

And I was not great at that point.

And this was back in June, May and June.

Um, it was so much support and help that I was like, I can't accept this.

I can't like you.

Knowing that you and D were working on like a list and that you were spending time in your busy life trying to do stuff for me, I was like I can't let this happen.

Like this is not, I, I wasn't, I've gotten better.

I think I've gotten better over the past few months, but like I was not comfortable accepting that level of help at that point,

What's interesting is, from our perspective, we wanted to do so much more, and it's the balance of what is going to what is going to really truly be valuable and helpful for you not overwhelm you but, like so many people, wanted to do so much.

So there was.

You know, it was always this like okay well, do we want to have a meal delivery plan?

Do we want to have, and we tried to find a chef who could just, that's right.

You did that person who could just come and we're still working on that.

I sent a lot of emails.

Yeah, you were so excited.

You found a couple and you would send me links and I wouldn't even look at them.

I was just like, you were doing so much.

And I was just not like everything stopped when it got to me.

It was like, we've done all the research you need to choose.

And I just like wouldn't.

And so I feel like I was not only.

Yeah, I was not a gracious person. receiver of the offers at that point.

And then I felt bad about that.

Like I was just, but I don't think that there was never an expectation for a response for any of these things.

It's kind of like we were throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what would stick.

And I think what we ended up finding is that the door dash gift cards were flexible, easy and you can always find someplace that's open that would deliver around here on a Tuesday.

Is it the perfect solution?

Is it what we hoped and dreamed?

That you'd be able to come home and have a really great salmon or steak salad after chemo?

We're not there yet, but We do, the two of us.

Anytime we go out to eat, we do order the exact same thing.

Usually without even having to discuss it with each other.

And it's usually a salad with salmon and a side of fries.

And this is why... Double fries.

So... you immediately launch into action.

And one of the things that I know I talked to you about and I feel like I talked to people when I talk about you is that you do the most.

You do the most at work.

You do the most for your family.

You do the most for all of your friends.

You do the most for the community.

Like I do not know how you do all that you do and you do it well.

And you do it with so much care and thought.

Like, There are things that I feel like are so unique about every friend that I have.

Right.

Like every person is unique, obviously.

And I always like you're the magic maker.

Everything you do comes with so much just magic.

Like you make everything sparkly and special.

A lot coming from you when I walk in.

And the entire home has been transformed into a valentine wonderland.

Okay, there's one time a year that I do a good job in my house and it's now um yeah, it is all valentine's day in here, which is fun, but you have you always been that way?

I don't know when it really came.

I, you know the love language thing.

Yeah, of course I mean obviously um, I like, I don't necessarily like receiving gifts.

I feel awkward, but I love giving gifts.

I love, but I love giving gifts in the attached with like an act of service so that it feels like, I don't know, that makes me, it brings me so much joy because there's a lot of thought. that goes into that right so it's not like oh I'm just going to give you something for the sake of giving it's like when Oprah says like I don't do birthday gifts if I find something and I feel like there's a connection or a meaning behind it then I want to I want to share it because there's a purpose attached to it there's a reason why this is happening and I think that we all do that for each other I just think that it just has it just happens so naturally but I think for me I've always enjoyed giving gifts and like doing something thoughtful for people but just it's it feels it's amplified now because I think that I have these relationships and friendships that give me so much joy and meaning and it feels really good to be able to give it back My love language is cheese.

I will show up with cheese.

You will artfully put it on the plate.

I will show up with cheese.

But you always show up.

Do you remember when I was like, it's so great that we both love pepper jacks so much?

And you're like, I don't like it.

I just get it for you.

Well, because you like it.

I do.

Yeah.

I like the creamy brie and the.

Oh, what did we?

Oh, we had the drunken goat, which I like, the drunken goat cheese.

Annie did not like the drunken goat cheese.

Can you talk a little bit about what you did and you and many others to make the holiday season so special for Annie and me?

That was really fun.

That's also a 2025 highlight.

That was really, really, really special.

Being an elf.

So the idea, it was Liz's idea.

And I don't remember why we were texting about something, probably dance.

Usually is probably some F bombs in that text exchange.

And she was like, and we were planning a secret Santa for the little dancers.

And she said it would be really cool to be able to do something, a secret Santa for Allie.

And I was like, Oh, I love that idea.

And I had gotten a handful of texts from other moms saying Hey, we would love to do something for Allie.

If anything is going on, let me know.

Like we've seen her crying in her car in the parking lot at pickup a bunch lately.

Is something going on with Allie?

So Liz planted the seed and then I was like, wouldn't an advent calendar be fun?

So then I started texting Sarah and Steffi and I was like what if we did an advent calendar, a full size build out with doors?

The number of times I've heard Seema Mack use the word build out at least once a week.

I wanted it to be an installation in your house.

I had so many hopes and dreams for this advent calendar.

And then Sarah said, started going in all sorts of different creative directions with it.

And then as we thought about the reality of it.

Was that Steph?

Was Steph the one bringing in the reality?

Started getting all the materials pulled together.

The email went out.

There was an outpour of, oh, I'm going to send this.

And Steph just started coming in.

I was like, Stephie, how are we building this?

And how are we installing it?

And finally we were like We're just and I had a, really I wanted it to look like a gingerbread house.

Oh my God.

And that you would have doors and they'd be numbered.

That was the original plan.

And then I moved to like a rose gold, burgundy, pink kind of wrapping theme.

And I was kind of like going back and forth between all of it.

And ultimately we just wrapped the gifts, numbered them.

And then you have little elves deliver them.

Steffi did round one, Sarah did round two, and you were nosy and looked on your ring camera.

Well, after... And the entire surprise was ruined.

Wait, that's not true at all.

Because I didn't see on the ring camera, like, I didn't see as it was happening.

I saw it after the fact.

Like, the second time... Oh, I thought you got alerted right away.

I do, but I don't look.

I shouldn't admit this publicly, that I'm like...

I have like a full, I have a full security system that David Feller installed in this house.

Like I have ring cameras up the wazoo.

I get the alerts.

Doesn't mean I always check them.

Sometimes I'm busy.

So no, I didn't see until after.

The funny thing too is how oblivious I am to things going on because I came over to your house.

The morning of the second day of holiday shows.

So on Sunday, Annie and I came over and we got ready at your house.

And Sarah was there.

Yep.

At 10 a.m.

Without her kid.

And I think nothing of it.

I'm just like, oh, Sarah's here hanging out.

Like, that's fun.

Well, I later learned she was there gathering all the gifts and then she was delivering them to the house while we were out.

Oh, yeah, because Steffi had been there. and Sarah were the rappers, I was not allowed to rap.

See, that surprises me that you're not a good rapper.

Terrible.

I'm also a terrible rapper.

I'm such a perfectionist in so many other ways.

Can't rap for shit.

I was allowed to write the signs.

Well, Do you know how many messages I got when I posted like the initial letter that you wrote and people were like that is not someone's handwriting.

I was like, that is Seema Mack's handwriting.

And it is so magic.

Everything you write just looks whimsical and amazing.

I love it.

You have many good skills.

Well, that was obviously so special for Annie and me and it just made what could have been and what was like a hard time.

You know, the last couple months have just been hard by nature of what's going on and you all made it so special.

Every gift was so special, thoughtful and had meaning and was from so many different people, like it was just.

It was so above and beyond, but it was so fun and it made us all feel so connected because the responses And this is what you don't get to see, right.

Oh yeah.

I was taken off these messages ages ago.

Is the interaction between your friends who are getting to know each other, and it, you know, like Oh, thank you so much for doing this.

We love, I love Allie and I want you to, this is a message for her.

And there were just so many thoughtful and the reasons why people were sending what they were sending.

And you had shared with me the calendar of your schedule between your, between you and Allie's dad.

Oh, this was, and so amazing too.

Um, we knew when Allie was going to be home versus Annie.

When we knew when you were going to be home, I was driving by, I have your location, you know where I am at all times now, which I check it constantly, But we knew when Annie was going to be home versus not.

And we wanted to make sure that she had something fun to open.

And that was insane.

Is that every... Like there were some gifts that were just for me.

There were some that were just for her.

And there were some that were both.

And they were all labeled according to Like it was.

That, to me, was just next level that all of my Especially my local friends know exactly what days Annie's here and what days she's not.

And you know like when you reach out to plan stuff, you know like, oh well, Wednesday works, because Annie's with you on Wednesday.

Like it's just yeah well, but it was.

What was amazing too is how, how much thought everyone was putting into what they were doing, like the puzzle that Natalia oh my god, that's so sweet a picture of me and Annie and Ellie that they turned into a puzzle.

And then Julia was like okay, I'm sending you something from Lola.

It has to be opened between these dates because it has to coincide with the era's movie.

And yep it's, it was matching.

It's a mommy and me and it was just.

Everything was just so.

And A friend sent a beach cover up and for, right before we left for Mexico, that was Laura.

It was really incredible and at a busy time when everyone has so much going on for the holidays, your support squad really wanted to show up for you guys.

And I think that's probably something that I would say to people who are going through something, whether it's health or anything else, is that There are going to be people who want to help.

And I think it's still really hard for me to be like, why would you want to help?

Like you have so much going on.

There is so like I literally don't know how you specifically function every day, and at such a high level, and do so much.

The fact that you're here with me right now on a Wednesday morning is insane.

Like.

So it's hard to accept that level of help, especially when you know that the people in your life have so much of their own stuff going on, whether it's work family, but everyone has stuff going on.

And so I think it's really... It's hard to accept help.

But I think what...

Because you do say that a lot, but I don't think that you recognize is that you are constantly doing things for others as well.

But when you're doing it, you're not thinking about it in terms of oh, look at all the great things I'm doing for other people.

It's just naturally.

I don't think I've done anything for anyone in a year.

That's just so untrue.

You're right.

I entertain you with my running podcast.

You show up all the time.

That I don't know why you listen to.

In so many ways.

You show up all the time in so many ways.

But I think this goes for everyone.

Right?

It goes for everyone.

It's like when we're putting the admin calendar together.

Sarah Steffi and I are having a grand old time.

Also, there were multiple times that you did not know that you got in like right as we were like hiding something like it wasn't just that one day.

There were there were at least two different occasions.

Pays to be oblivious.

And there was like wrapping paper in the living room that the dots weren't connected.

Thankfully, there are.

I mean, I have no dots.

There's not even one dot in this little brain.

But my point is that I think that you don't realize how often you are giving back.

And I think that it goes at least for us in our village.

I think that that's one of the things that's so amazing is that everyone is just naturally doing something for someone else.

And it doesn't feel like you're doing something for someone else because it's giving back to.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And I think... Fulfilling us as much as it's fulfilling someone else.

Which is so ridiculously nice.

It's also...

It's been fun for me to see all the different ways that not necessarily that people show up for me, but the ways that I've learned to lean on different people.

Right.

Like I specifically look at the group of you and Steph and Sarah and the three of you, as much as it's like, this is a group right.

The, the role that the three of you each play in my life is so different.

Like I feel like I go to you, I go to you for like pretty much everything.

Sarah is always down for anything.

Like Sarah is the one who, if it's a Sunday at three 30, and you're just kind of like Hey, it'd be really nice for Annie to have a buddy right now.

And I could do like, Sarah's over in a second.

Like she's Sarah's down.

Right.

And she's just like, she's also, she doesn't overthink.

She just, she just, shows up and usually with like a really good bottle of whatever you like.

And this is I was saying to Connor not that long ago Allie should never go to anything by herself, even though she says she wants to go to things by yourself.

Because you guys were talking.

Oh, Sarah coming to my scans.

And you were talking about your scans and you were like, I don't know.

I'm going by myself.

I kind of wish I wasn't.

And of course, Connor sends out the signal.

That's right.

It was like the night before.

And I don't remember.

We were out of town.

I don't know where we were.

And I texted Sarah because I knew she wouldn't have seen her email, which also tracks which I never have my phone.

So it's amazing that I.

No, there's some mornings when I check your location and it's like 822.

And I'm like, there's not like, she needs to have left her house by now to get these kids to school.

And then I'm like, okay, one of two things, very plausible.

One, she hasn't left her house yet.

Two, she did, but her phone's at home.

Either one, you could put money on and there's a good chance.

And you know what?

Those kids got to school just fine.

I think we only have one tardy to date.

And I don't even know if it was an actual tardy.

Yeah, probably an administrative error.

It was kindy for some.

Anyway, I was like, I know.

I was out of town.

Steffi was at work and I was like, Sarah, I know Sarah is going to want to go.

And that's the thing.

She wants to show up and she has flexibility and she can show up.

Yeah.

And within five minutes, I had a text from her.

What time should I be at your house to go to your scans?

And I was like I literally just briefly mentioned that I wasn't like Jesus.

This group just mobilizes.

She's also an excellent driver.

So I'm sure you would have been happy.

Very good driver.

And then Steph.

I've found that I really lean on her when I need like a very honest.

Steph works in healthcare and she works for Dartmouth.

And so she is someone who, when I, when I need to like weigh a medical decision, or when I am like I feel like that's been a big thing that I've leaned on her with is like she is so good at being.

She's incredibly empathetic, but she can also just give you an honest answer.

And she can look at things from a healthcare perspective and she can like yeah, she's.

She's really come in handy with that a lot of, especially over the last couple of weeks when I'm weighing on this decision about treatment and next steps and feeling really conflicted, feeling like I have to make a decision and I haven't shared this.

But the background is that I'm at a point in my treatment with chemo where my doctor has raised the option of being able to stop chemo and move on to a maintenance regimen.

And are we at the point yet where we want to do that?

And basically giving me all the data that exists, giving me her recommendation, telling me to get a second opinion, but ultimately it's my decision.

And like that, has been wicked hard over these past, really over the past week, as I'm coming up on my next chemo treatment of like shit I don't know.

I don't want to make the decision.

That was one of the things when we were sitting with nurse Stacy.

Yeah.

That was really hard for me.

Yeah.

Because I, I obviously recorded the conversation, fed it through multiple, fed it through.

Hey chatty babe.

Hope you're having a good morning.

We're up at Dartmouth as you can tell.

Chatty and I had many, many conversations about it.

Um, This is also when Chatty was still very agreeable because I had not yet changed the settings.

So she was like, whatever you think is best.

I did also tell Chatty about the four bottle of wine lady.

Remember?

No.

Stacey told us about how she had a patient.

Oh, a patient with like Boca or something.

Well, she was in Palm Beach, but then was traveling to New York for her surgery.

New York for all of her plastic surgery but then existed on four bottles of wine a day.

Yeah, I'd be super not here or functioning.

Yeah, that conversation was really hard because we were given some information but we couldn't.

When we asked clarifying questions, there was no.

Yeah, we didn't get answers that day.

Yeah, there's nothing to help.

Yeah.

Let's go to chemo day.

Yeah.

Let's recap the day.

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Plus, the V15 comes in All right, so.

You have done so much over these past few months.

And then chemo round nine, you were up to bat.

I've been really I feel like I've tried to be really clear in my emails to this amazing group about what it means to be a chemo person and what the day entails and just

I think I just want to be like, hey, it's not really fun.

It does end up being nice because I get to spend a day with someone that I love.

That is always a bright spot.

But I don't know.

I always feel like I need to quantify.

And I never want anyone to feel like they have to be a chemo person.

I want to hear about your... It's no surprise because you volunteer for everything.

No, but I think there's a long list of people want...

Not that it's this expectation of fun, but it's... It's the hottest ticket in town.

It's this opportunity to be present for someone.

It is a huge way to show up, too.

Like, it is... This is a weird thing to say, but it's like an honor.

No, it's funny.

It's a weird thing to say.

Well, no, because we... And this is where, like...

So Jackie and Connor have really taken the reins in terms of the scheduling, because I that was just a thing that I don't know if I asked them or they just started doing it

We're basically on these emails.

I, either me or one of them, will send out and say like hey, here are the next four chemo days that we know of, all of which are subject to change, like

I was supposed to have chemo January 7th or something.

And Kira had booked flights.

Like Kira was coming to chemo and then things changed.

The date changed.

And so I was like, Hey, I'm really sorry.

Like I'm actually not doing, and I felt so bad.

Um, and she was like, great, I'm going to come to Mexico instead.

Worked out fine.

I mean, way better.

But no, I mean it is crazy that for every chemo date there's like three to four people who have offered their time and not all are local.

And I also, I feel like I mostly, like it sounds messed up to be like, well, I mostly choose.

So basically Connor and Jackie will, there's Ellie.

They will reach out to me and be like, hey, here's who said they could come to the next round.

And then I have to like, choose which is messed up, but i i feel like i'm almost always going with the most local person because that's how i got in.

No, because i feel connor jackie, has anyone else volunteered, so not send me the full list, did anybody else?

All right, let's expand it to the alley on their own community.

Any total strangers want to come?

I think i'll ask my dad, My poor dad.

I do every time.

I'm like, if no one can do it, I'll ask my dad.

But that's also just like and like either of my parents would do it in a heartbeat.

And who would be standing your driveway?

Well, my neighbor, Jonathan.

Oh, freaking Jonathan, who's so amazing.

And he texts me every Friday night being like, how does 830 a.m. sound for picking up your trash?

And he comes every Saturday at 830 a.m. and gets and the past.

He came a couple of weeks ago and my driveway was in rough shape.

And there's Ellie.

Jonathan's probably here sanding the driveway and she's barking.

He has come the past two weeks and sanded my entire driveway.

Yeah.

My dad also does that.

My dad.

Yeah.

My dad usually takes care of Ellie on chemo days.

So anyway, all of this to say that I was.

I felt a lot of things when your name was one of the ones that had volunteered for chemo.

And my first thought was like, there's no way chemo like SEMA.

I combined chemo and SEMA.

That could be a cute nickname.

I was like, no, like I'm not letting SEMA do this because she, Randy travels.

So she like solo parents during the week to two kids who have school and 800 extracurricular activities and different schedules.

And you're part of carpools with other, like I felt like I couldn't possibly let you take an entire day to be with me.

That was very.

So I just want you to know how hard it was for me, Seema.

I'm sorry I put you in a difficult position.

I was.

But I wanted it so badly.

The reason I wanted to be able to go one.

I wanted to experience it because I needed to understand what I'd listened to so many of the conversations.

But to really have the experience of this is what you're going through.

So then we understand kind of the before, during, and after, which was very helpful.

Knowing the process interactions that you're having.

Just I don't know.

It felt important to understand all of that, but then also just getting to spend the day showing up.

Well, and just so you know, my mom has actually volunteered you for every round.

She brought it up.

I called her last night and she was like I want Seema to take you to the next round of chemo because round nine has been my best round yet.

Um, just in terms of like how I respond, I mean the day itself, which will break down like the day went really smooth.

The, the days after, like, this has been my.

Not that it's ever easy, but this has been the best round I've had.

And so I don't know if you did this the first time your kid ever slept through the night.

Where then, you try to recreate every single thing that you did?

My mom now is like, well, SEMA has to take you to every round of chemo.

So I hope you're free every third Tuesday for the next couple of months.

We're going to have to make sure that we're aligned with our friends Bob, and Who's the other pal that we had?

I don't remember her name.

So...

Yeah.

Let's get to that.

Let's get to the highlight of the day.

What, what helped you in knowing that you were going to be coming with me to this round of chemo?

Okay.

One of the things that I do put in my emails being like, Hey, here's what that day looks like.

One of them is I will drive you.

Come to my house in the morning, either you, you know, for people who aren't local, they stay over the night before or like come just meet me at my house in the morning and we'll drive from here.

I like to drive there because I am a control freak.

I need to control the playlist.

I need to know that if I need to go to the bathroom, I just pull over and I know where to go.

But you have all unanimously agreed that I am not allowed to drive home.

And so part of being a chemo buddy does mean driving my car back home.

You, You always talk about not being a good driver, which as someone who backed into her garage door and then also backed into her father's car in her driveway.

Like, who am I to talk?

I've gotten hit by turkeys.

The context of this is that for 10 years living in Chicago, Uber was invented.

I didn't drive for 10 straight years.

I didn't drive.

Then we moved here.

And I said to Randy, I was like, we'll share a car, right?

And he was like, no, you have to have your own car.

You have to drive the children to school when I'm not around.

And I was like, Uber could do that.

There's probably at least one Uber driver in our area.

Oh, I've taken Ubers here.

You have?

Yeah.

I never have.

Yeah.

I mean, they come from Manchester.

I don't think they're local.

I call David Feller.

And he's there with bottled water.

Everyone needs a David Feller.

But for those of us.

You have a David Feller.

You have David Feller.

I do.

But.

So for 10 years, I didn't drive.

And then I came here and I had to drive.

And I.

I love change, but also simultaneously hate change.

And I had a car when we got here and I got really comfortable with it.

And I felt like I knew how to drive it.

But then because of dance, I needed a third row.

Get all those kids to the studio.

So I have a new car and I've never driven this car in the snow and the winter.

And so I was terrified.

So when you were like, we'll drive my car, I will drive there, which I knew, but like I needed the reminder.

I was like, okay, great.

And then I was like, oh, I'm driving home.

And we had gotten a crazy storm the day before.

Very icy.

Like even I, I was nervous on the drive up.

And the whole time I just remember being like, oh shit.

I was like I know that as I'm driving, Seema's looking at the roads and she's thinking about the drive home.

Which I felt horrible because I didn't want to add stress to you.

No, and you didn't.

You didn't.

And I felt confident with you.

Just know that.

Like no part of me was worried.

I just it like It was just fitting that you always talk about not being a good driver, which I think you are a fine driver.

A fine driver?

You're a great driver.

And you got the one icy, snowy, just it was a sketchy drive.

Worst possible conditions.

Yes.

But it was great.

I drive us home 30 miles an hour.

I don't remember the drive home.

I'm very glad you don't.

But you very much tried to drive.

Very, very much.

And I, had I not been so nervous, I would have, immediately after getting into the car, emailed Jackie and Connor to be like oh, our girl tried, but she's not driving.

I was too nervous to go through the process of taking a picture of you in the passenger seat and doing that entire communication.

But in my head, it happened.

It happened.

Yeah.

And if it had been the reverse, you would have heard from Connor and Jack.

Oh, yeah.

And I didn't want to get fired.

Yeah.

Seema is not welcome back to the chemo party.

Seema is no longer allowed to do anything at all, ever.

So what helped you as the support person leading up to that day?

What were you, what did you feel prepared for?

What were your expectations?

It'd been really helpful to have the stories and the context from the previous support squad sessions because I sort of knew that.

I knew there was going to be an art gallery viewing, for example.

I knew that lunch would come from the works.

Always does.

I didn't realize how far of a walk it is.

It is a hike from 3K.

And how easy it is to get lost.

Yep.

Getting to 3K.

That I didn't know.

So for future supporters.

I don't even remember you going there.

Yeah.

Good.

I guess I was asleep.

No, you didn't get to sleep as much as I wanted you to sleep for many reasons, but it was a really cold, messy day.

I was bummed.

I thought that I had like prepared a good little care package for us, but I brought all the wrong things.

And then I drank your tea.

You drank my tea.

Wait, this is so cute.

You made my favorite tea.

So I've gone through life thinking that tea had to be gross, and And that even like the best, tea is still kind of gross.

Just tastes like murky water heated up.

And then I go to your house a couple of weeks ago and you made me this tea.

And I was like, this tea is good.

Like I would willingly drink this.

And you were like, cool.

I gave this to you as a gift months ago.

Clearly not opened it.

I was like, remember that cherry blossom tea that I dropped off to you?

You're like, no.

Yes, it's in a pink container.

It's in the corner.

I know exactly where it is.

I'm going to try it now.

Yes, you brought me tea.

And I have a habit of carrying around hot water all the time.

I drink hot water all day long, no matter the season.

And I was nervous.

So I brought your tea in with us because you weren't ready for it.

And I was holding it.

And while we were checking in, I wasn't thinking.

And it's just such a natural.

I've got this beverage.

I'm going to drink it.

And I drank your tea.

And I was like, oh shit, I just drank Ellie's tea.

And then we go back and you're like, I'm ready for my tea.

And I was like, do I tell her or do I just give it to her?

I thought it was cute.

I felt so terrible.

Oh my God.

And I thought about that like 20 times since then.

Oh my God.

I know you didn't.

I mean, I felt like you needed the tea and you didn't have your tea.

I love you.

And I kind of had, I wasn't sick, but I was like, I always am congested because it's winter.

And I was like, what if it's actually something?

Yeah.

And then I'm here.

Well, it worked out fine.

We're here and we're in good health and the day went well.

So we get there, we check in.

What do you remember?

Like what, if I were to just ask like highs and lows of the days of the day.

Um, and again, normally we do this the next morning.

So it's like fresh that you, the check-in lady was probably a temp.

She didn't give you your gems and I wanted to get your gems and I was going to go back, but then there wasn't really an opportunity to go back.

They normally bedazzle the hospital bracelet and this one person didn't bedazzle it.

I think it's because her nails were so long that she would not have been able to get the gems off the sticker sheet, so I was a little bummed about that.

But maybe you don't need the gems because you're already so dazzling, so sparkly.

Yeah yeah um, it's funny that you remember that.

Well like, it's just interesting.

What stands out like this is why I love these conversations.

It's like I know what I remember from the day and it's fun hearing about Your perspective.

The holiday decorations were still up, which was nice.

We walked in.

The check-in was pretty cool, pretty seamless.

Oh, this was December 30th.

Yeah.

We got the best parking spot.

We did.

Yeah, this was right in the middle of the holiday break.

And your kids were at camp that day.

They went to camp that day.

Annie was with her dad that day.

Yep.

And then I got her back at 9 a.m. the next day, which was like a little rough.

No, didn't you get her back at 7.30?

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah, he dropped her off really early.

Really early.

And I was like, I am doing great.

I'm thriving.

That's right.

And then we had the New Year's party.

Okay.

All right.

So you remember the check-in.

What else?

All of the nurses and the people there know you and just were excited to see you, which made me really, really happy.

It was busy.

We were kind of like looking for a spot.

And then you went in.

I sat down.

Little did I know that I was sitting next to friends who we would later spend more time with.

Yeah.

I had on that jacket, the one that we both have.

That's like really fuzzy one.

And she was like petting it.

What?

It's like oh wait, I didn't know that.

I'll tell you this.

You got pet I.

It was so cold in there, so I had the jacket on my lap as a blanket and she was sitting next to me and she was like that looks cozy and I was like it's really warm and she's like let me in cutting it, that tracks.

I don't know what to do right now.

You were like I have no idea what's to come either.

So yeah busy, But everything moved pretty smoothly.

Yep.

And then we went and we met with not my oncologist.

So I always I always either meet with my oncologist or with someone on her team.

And this day we knew we were meeting with someone on her team.

So it's like we knew that we weren't going to like make a plan or really discuss next.

It's kind of like those appointments are just a formality.

I feel like they have to.

You know, they look at my labs, they review, like I get it um.

But it is tough and I love her like I love the.

I don't know if what her actual title is um, I don't know if she's a PA or an RN or an L.

I'm not sure what the letters are on her name tag.

But she's very, very nice.

And I like her a lot.

And she is always very generous with her time.

I never feel rushed.

But yeah, we were asking a lot of questions just based off my recent scans and treatment and how I've been feeling and the side effects.

And it kind of felt more like just sort of tossing things up in the air but no balls being caught or grabbed or moved to the next playing field.

Um, and you were frustrated.

I was frustrated yeah, I had a lot of questions and there I didn't even ask the majority of my questions, because the few that I asked there were just there was no response.

There was no answer, which I understand.

Um, but you had, you had results that could be interpreted.

That's right.

This is my first appointment since having my scans.

Yep, that's right, and the results could be interpreted in a way that we could have been so so, so excited like wow, this is such incredible news, but we just needed a little more confirmation and information.

Yeah,

And so basically, from my last set of scans that I had on I think it was like December 9th I had a PET scan and I had a chest CT

The chest CT was supposed to be ordered to check in on the blood clots that we found in September.

When I had my CT that diagnosed them in September, it was a CT with contrast.

So when they put the stuff in your IV and you feel that warm sensation and great, this time they ordered a chest CT without contrast.

And I remember being like.

I wonder why or why is it a different test than the one from like?

If we're looking for the same thing, why did they order a different test?

But also being like, well, what do I know?

Like, I don't know.

It's not my, I'm not, I'm not going to tell you how to do your job.

And so I just trusted that that was what should have been ordered.

And then You know, the chest CT didn't show anything.

And one of the questions I asked when I spoke to a doctor after was well, what about the blood clots?

Like, no one's mentioning the blood clots.

Oh, I'm not sure.

Oh, and then we later find out like, oh, yeah, I don't know.

Why we ordered a CT without like we should have ordered one with.

And I'm like, what?

Like.

So that was frustrating of being like.

Well, that was you know I'm.

I'll chalk it up to human error.

Fine.

It happens.

But also just like frustrating of not only did I go in for the wrong test and so it was a waste of time and who knows when that'll show up on a bill, but also that we now don't like the blood clots were.

One of the big things I wanted to see in this round of scans is are they still there?

How cautious do I need to be?

Like I'm living my life as normal.

Um, but like, what should I know?

Are they still there?

Have they dissolved?

Um, so that was frustrating and we didn't get answers to any of that.

But also my the PET scan showed that the disease.

I mean, I've had an amazing response to this chemo.

Like all of the areas that lit up back in May are almost completely gone.

There is one spot that we can still see on the sternum that lights up on the PET scan.

We cannot tell conclusively.

I say we as if I'm looking at these pictures, but they.

It is your body.

It's my my photo shoot.

Always with the photo shoots.

But they they couldn't tell conclusively if that spot was remaining residual disease or inflammation from my body.

Fighting the disease.

The only way to know for sure is to biopsy it.

It's a small spot.

We're not going to biopsy it.

We'll just see on the next set of scans.

So it was... Yeah, it was feeling like, okay, but I want to know.

Like, I want to know what that spot... Can we zoom in?

Can we... So it was just a lot of questions.

And that's a question for the radiologist.

So I don't know.

It was.

We were in a spot of of having these scans, really wanting to talk to my oncologist about them not getting that time with her because she was on vacation that week, which we knew, but it just yeah, we I think we were both just like this is a waste of time.

The timing and the conversation just was not what we, we were wanting.

Yeah.

It didn't give us any answers reassured.

Like it, Yeah.

It also wasn't it wasn't celebratory, but it was like it was just.

And my hope was that there would have been more conversation between the team.

So the oncologist, everyone else.

And it was kind of like, well, I'm looking at your your results right now.

I'm like, what do you mean?

Is this like the first time you're looking at the results?

Like it's like my perspective is any meeting you're going into you should prepare for it first time that you're thinking about it, and there were just a lot of questions.

A hard thing.

One thing I've learned a lot in the past couple years is one of the hard things about being a patient in the medical industry is and I mean this is true with anything right, is it's so easy to look at the situation you're in and say things like well, why wasn't this done this way?

Or well, if I were doing, and like I don't know shit about how hospitals run.

I don't know.

Like, I don't know why certain things are done certain ways.

I don't know if it's, I also don't know what expectations are reasonable.

Like doctors are so busy.

Is it reasonable to expect that they've sat down before my appointment and had a team meeting about me, or is is the reality that you have one hour scheduled to see Alison Feller?

And that's the hour when you look at her stuff and talk to her.

And like, I'm sure I'm going to hear from medical people who will weigh in.

And my guess is they're going to say, well, no, you should be prepared to talk to the patient.

That would be my expectation.

And it's not to say they weren't prepared.

It was more just.

We just wanted more from that appointment because of the timing of having just done the scans.

And like I think we, we wanted a little more like yay, you're so close to no evidence of disease, we're psyched and it and it felt like we, we were there but we weren't there.

Yeah, and that was a little tough.

Yeah, it was just kind of and it was inconclusive.

It was a well, it pretty much seems like it's inflammation and there's no evidence.

So you can decide yeah, what you're gonna do.

And the entire time I was like what do you mean Allie's going to decide what to do?

Like, this isn't just like a, I left wanting so much.

Me too.

And for you obviously, but like anyone who's going with you is going to want to show up in a way that's going to be supportive of you and give you what you need.

Right.

To like make you as comfortable and feel as prepared and as ready for what, what is to come.

And we just left with so many more questions out of that conversation and it just it's like one more thing to weigh on you and that was disappointing.

Did I cry?

I usually cry at that appointment.

I don't remember if I did for that one.

You did not.

It always ends up just like that ends up being such a sneaky part of the day.

Yeah.

Like I always expect like, oh, it's just a meeting with a doctor.

Like we're just talking.

But when you're talking about your future and it's like so many ways it's sneaky.

Yeah.

And I will say that I've since had, um, I had a virtual appointment with my oncologist last week.

And I mean she.

She talked to me for almost an hour and a half like a lot of questions, a lot of scenarios.

We've gone back and forth.

I just got a message from her office, um, in the portal.

So, like we, we've been having a lot of conversations about next steps and and I really wasn't even communicating any of this to my friends

Like I think I just told you about this the other day maybe but about my oncologist floating the idea of me stopping chemo soon, that based on the scans and being so close to no evidence of disease, maybe there, if that spots inflammation, and going onto a maintenance regimen and based off that, like all this.

You know I don't need to totally go into it, but this is the first time I've felt like I have a decision to make in my care.

That so far, with both diagnoses it's been.

Really I've gotten pretty clear guidance from my team about what we're going to do and obviously it's always my choice, but this is the first time where it has felt like we're presenting the data we have what, what do you think you want to do?

And I'm like I don't know, live a long time, have lots of options.

Yeah.

Like it's exciting.

When they first talked about this I was like, Oh my God, the thought of being done with chemo like hell yeah.

And then I very quickly was like, no, not yet.

Yeah.

So, all that to say, I will be staying on chemo for the time being um, until we know conclusively what that spot is, until I get more scans, which will be um they just messaged me, said end of February, early March, um.

So a couple, at least a couple more rounds of chemo, but it was also originally presented as I'm going to be on this for at least three years.

And so this is a huge change.

And the amazing thing is that's all based off new research and data.

Like there's so and Stacy said that, she said, she said it's, and we I mean chatty did tell me that breast is the most research is best, most funded, one of the more common, and therefore there are so many use cases and trials and examples that can be pointed to.

And she did confirm that there, there was a lot that can be, can be drawn from that's happened.

But then also there's so many different options.

Yeah.

So, if you know, if you do, when you do take your pause, if there's a need to go back for a different intervention, like there's lots of options for that, which is great yeah, and reassuring in so many ways, it's hard to with making these decisions because I rely so heavily on this group that I have, which is amazing but no one in this group as involved as everyone is.

No one, no one's living it the way I am right um, And so the first two people that I told about this and the potential of being done chemo was I actually think Connor might have been the first person I told, because Jackie doesn't have an iPhone so I can't text her from my computer.

So sometimes Connor finds things out first because, you know, it's just convenience.

I love them both so much.

And I think both Jackie and Connor were like, hell yeah, done with chemo.

Like, no brainer.

The doctor is saying you can be done with chemo, be done with chemo.

And then I started floating it by a couple other people and they were like we support whatever you do.

But also, I don't know.

It's just been interesting.

Like I want everyone's feedback and it's my decision, which sucks.

Yeah.

Feedback can be a lot.

Yeah.

I want someone else to make the decision for me, but I made the decision and I actually feel good about it.

You're so close to getting your next round.

Exactly.

Yep.

And then there's going to be so much more information to go off of.

And this last round was encouraging.

Um, so let's, let's go to the chemo part of the day.

Yeah.

Infusion center.

What do you, what were your thoughts?

Have you, and I don't think I asked you this.

Have you been in an infusion center before, or was this like, and what is your level of comfortability with hospitals?

Like a lot of people are very uncomfortable in hospitals.

I am completely fine in hospitals.

Um, I haven't spent a ton of time in hospitals, but I, I thought it would be a little warmer.

Okay.

Good feedback.

It would be a little in every sense, like temperature wise.

I also thought maybe it would be a little more cheerful.

Yeah.

The cancer center is like not.

Yeah.

It's weird that it's not a happier place.

Meaning like, you know, there's ways that you can make it feel a little more.

Yeah.

It's maybe we should take some heart pillows.

Maybe you should take these pillows.

Oh my God.

Bring all my Valentine's decorations.

I do need to actually go.

I need to go to Sam's this weekend and get the Valentine's heart M&Ms to bring for them.

Oh yeah.

The pretty ones.

I, the sandwich cart.

Oh yeah.

Was not expecting the snack cart.

Oh yeah.

Have some suggestions for the snacks.

Ooh.

What are your suggestions?

I just feel like there could maybe be a slightly more well-rounded set of options.

A lot of roast beef sandwiches.

Very happy that you got your Oreos, but maybe we could have some trail mix.

I actually finally ate those Oreos like two days ago.

They made their way back here.

I'm pretty sure.

Do you want some Oreos?

I was like, I'll just take an extra pack for Allie.

Yeah.

Still have them.

Um, and I always take the cantaloupe.

They always have cantaloupe.

Do they have cantaloupe this time?

Oh, that might've been, this was a different cart.

This wasn't Mary's cart.

This was the comfort cart.

Yeah.

Cause Mary retired.

Mary's not there anymore.

Very sad.

Yeah.

Um, so we go in and here's what I will say.

And I've been to this infusion.

You know I've been going there for multiple years now between chemo and immunotherapy and there's certain seats that are great and there's certain seats in the infusion center that just there's like not the good seats.

You know it's like getting the middle seat on an airplane.

Yeah.

And we got a bad seat.

We got the middle seat.

We were away from the birds. we were not near birds.

We weren't like in a corner where we have a little space and I my back was to the rest of the infusion center.

And so anytime I like heard a noise or someone was coming over, I turned around and that was I.

I, I couldn't get comfortable.

I was just like, and it's, and again, I feel bratty being like, I wasn't comfortable for chemo.

Um, but that was the one thing that I remember from the day of being a little bit like Oh, I don't love this.

Yeah, I wish that I would have brought more stuff for you to just be really cozy.

Well, I mean, I got cozy like bring a candle, but wait, that's that would be so fun.

Yeah, and normally, and like, I've also pared down what I bring.

When we first started doing this, I was rolling up with pillows and blankets and like all the things, slippers and all the things and that was also when I was cold capping, so it was there longer, whereas now I'm like let's just get in, get out.

Yeah, it was efficient, very.

I mean, the staff in there is amazing.

Like the, the nurses, the people in the infusion center.

I love them.

Everyone, all of the staff that interacted with you, was warm and had a lot of information.

Was just on top of it.

Fast, efficient, all the good things.

We saw Andy and ultra Andy was working that day.

I remember.

And so the team, the humans, they're, were in it to win it, and they were winning, and it was great.

The environment used them.

It's very hospitally.

I always want to be like, who picked out the art?

Who was like, you know what color we should paint the walls?

Or like, ooh, these curtains look good.

Yeah, but I mean, all of those things are sterile and probably for a reason, but there's ways to warm up the environment and it just wasn't.

Oh, my gosh.

They need a touch of SEMA in there.

I wanted it to be a bit more cheerful.

Imagine what you could do.

We could do so much.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, now that I'm going with you for all of them.

All of them.

BYO curtains.

Yeah.

I'm just going to start picking things from the house that I think belong there.

There's a lot of pink stuff in here right now.

Okay.

So, I mean, I think both of our core memories from the day.

We're with interactions with fellow patients.

And I will say, and again, everyone's so nice.

I don't usually interact with other patients when I'm there.

I feel like I'm with my person.

I interact a lot with the staff because I've gotten to know them, but I haven't gotten to know other patients which I also sometimes feel guilty about of like.

Well, they're the people I'm in this with.

They're the people who know what this is like.

I should be, but usually patients are sleeping.

Like it's not, again, it's not like a social.

Yeah.

I mean, we kind of make it that.

But this time, very social.

Very social.

And you spent a lot of time talking to people.

Or being talked at.

Well, I was trying to balance.

I wanted you to be able to rest.

And I wanted you to not have to listen to the chatter.

But I didn't want to shut down the sweet woman who is supporting her husband.

He was funny.

I mean, curmudgeon.

Yeah.

In the best way.

Yeah.

He was funny.

Yeah.

Um, but his, his wife clearly needed someone to chat with.

You were that person.

I was definitely that person.

And I was like, can I have more at a van?

Cause I want to sleep so bad and there is so much chatter.

And so I kept so many questions.

I kept just like trying to quietly smile. respond and then just look away.

I remember her being like you two look alike and then going, Oh, she's sleeping.

And I was like, I'm not because there you're talking so much.

I'm fake sleeping cause I don't have it in me to chat.

But like, I'm so tired.

I think at what point I was like, I just need to leave and break the conversation.

So that when I get back, I can be so busy doing things.

Should have given you my laptop.

That I'm not available for conversation.

Well, and here's the thing.

I would say you and I were both very social.

We both do genuinely love talking to people.

It wasn't like a, how are you?

I think it launched right into, I need to know everything about your background.

Yeah.

And it was a little intense.

Yeah.

How do you two know each other?

You look alike. she asked if we were sisters.

Right.

And if you're okay with me saying this, I do believe her opening line was, you have dark skin.

What are you?

And I was like, get me the fuck out of here.

What's the difference between Asian and Middle Eastern?

And I was just like I felt so bad because I was like I brought my sweet friend into this environment and she is now the subject of These questions that frankly feel offensive.

Nope.

It was.

And she was nice.

She was curious.

I think when we did, when we were talking later, I was like and you were like how was the day for you?

I was like, well, I learned a lot about myself.

I've ruled out that I'm not Middle Eastern.

I'm not Native American.

No, but she was so excited when she thought you were Native American.

She was pumped.

Well, the context of this, she asked, you have dark skin.

Are you from the Middle East?

And I said, no, my family is from India.

Or no, I said, I am.

You said I'm Indian.

I'm Indian.

I said, I'm Indian.

So that's where.

Right.

And she said, Native American.

And I said, oh, no, I'm sorry.

No, we're my family's from India.

And she was like.

Is that like Middle Eastern food?

She said, circle back.

Right back.

You talked a lot about middle... And you talked a lot about food.

I think you told her that Sloan is a vegetarian.

I did.

I feel like that came up.

We talked a lot about all sorts of random things.

I learned all about her living situation, how far away she lives.

She needed comfort that day is what I was... Again, she was there supporting her husband.

Because when I am a little uncomfortable, I talk like I cannot shut up, which is no different than when I'm very comfortable.

But I think like yeah, I think she, she wanted someone to talk to that day and you were sitting across from her and you were that person.

Yep, so thank you for being there for all of us.

Um, I felt yeah, I was like I'm so, I'm so sorry I've subjected you to really intense environment right now.

I felt badly because I wanted you to sleep and I wanted you to have quiet, and I was having a conversation about the differences in Indian cuisine and Chinese cuisine and which spices are used.

Right, and remember the spices.

And yes, Ali and I are very good friends, but no, we're not sisters, because she is not from it.

No, nor is she sleeping, Nor is she sleeping.

But you know that is my main memory of the day is the line of questioning you endured by well-meaning people.

But yeah, I mean, overall, it went well.

I don't remember the drive back.

I don't remember getting back here.

I don't remember if you like hung out or peaced out.

I don't know.

I hung out for a little bit.

So as we were driving back, Right.

As we were turning onto your road, there's your dad.

That's right.

We saw my dad.

He had salted or sand.

What happens to the driveway?

I think he salted.

Yeah.

He did something to make it less treacherous.

And so we rolled down windows and chatted for a little bit.

I was terrified driving home and drove really slowly.

But I didn't want you to know.

So I was like trying to be chatty.

I mean, I knew because I know you.

You handled it well.

I mean.

But I knew that inside.

I knew your inner monologue was.

Well, my entire thing was I have the most precious cargo.

I have a job which is to get Ali to and from chemo in the smoothest safest, most efficient way possible.

Don't ruin it on the drive home.

No, you did great.

He really did.

It was a rough day.

It was... Yeah, and just like a weird week with so much going on and the holidays and everything.

But then we saw your dad.

That was great.

Of course.

We got back.

I was like, do you want me to tuck you in?

I do remember you asking if I wanted you to tuck me in.

I remember that.

And I would have stayed here forever, but then I had to go...

Take the girls to dance.

Yeah, classic.

Which is all I do.

Yep.

And then the next day was New Year's Eve.

And we had a little New Year's Eve party at Steph's house.

And I showed up in my bathrobe one day after chemo.

I did try to get you a robe from the gift shop.

From the Dartmouth gift shop?

The Dartmouth gift shop.

No, you got me the most beautiful wrap from Barefoot Dreams.

That was one of the Christmas gifts.

But it's not a robe.

So.

No.

I was like oh, I should get a nice cozy robe because you were wearing the cutest brand new matching set.

Oh, the Athleta set.

Yeah.

That my friend sent me.

But then when you were getting gas, it got.

Oh, my God.

And that was that was the day.

And that was like, I was like, Oh gosh, things happen in threes.

Yeah.

Can't be the start of, I was like, well, no, we have bad weather.

That's one.

We had to stop to get gas.

That's gotta be two.

And then three is that you've got something.

So I was like, that's gotta be the three.

It can't be that this is like the one and there's two other bad things.

And it ended up being the third.

So, okay.

I'm wearing a brand new outfit.

Shout out to Sam Ryan, who is just the Swedish.

She sent me and Annie little matching athletic outfits for Christmas.

And, I wore it to chemo and it's like a light blue, very pretty.

And I get out of the car to get gas and I must've leaned against the car, which is filthy from the weather.

And I get just stained all over my new outfit.

And I was so mad.

That was like my thing that set me off that morning when it was the round one it was, I forgot my laptop.

Um, there's always something.

Yeah.

And that was what it was.

And I was always happen early on.

Yeah.

And then I was going to town with the tide stick.

Yeah.

That's right.

Yeah.

I mean, I washed everything.

So yeah, I think we're, I think we're good.

That's right.

So there are always little things.

Okay.

So what?

What are your, as I'm like, taking nine hours of your day to record this um?

Are there key takeaways for you from the day that you would want to share with people listening who are in a supporting role, whether it's from the day or just in general?

I mean, about showing up.

And I think the thing for me I wanted the day.

I wanted to be so overprepared and I wanted the day to be so easy and seamless for you.

And I didn't want to put anything on you, which I think, for someone who is sitting in a support role, I think, whether you realize it or not, you can put a lot of pressure on yourself to show up in the most perfect way for the person that you're supporting.

And, I drank your tea.

Oh my God, I didn't care.

I know.

The fact that you brought tea was so sweet.

The point of this story is that, as the support person, you want everything to go just right, so that the person that you're supporting doesn't have one more thing to deal with on top of the reason why you're there to support them in the first place, right?

And little things are inevitably going to happen.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but you're there because you have a relationship with this person and you're showing up for them, and that means a lot to that person.

And we just had.

We had a great day because there was the.

Nothing went perfect, but we were in it together and we were working through everything throughout the day.

And I think for someone who is supporting someone, like remembering that your person doesn't need you to be perfect.

They just need you to be there and show up and just bring as much positivity and lightheartedness as possible, because there's going to be times when it gets really heavy and hard.

And if you can bring a little levity, a little humor, it goes a long way.

And if there are little things that you can kind of connect to or latch onto that help the day feel a little less heavy, it helps a ton.

And you did all those things and you did them amazingly.

The nurse telling you just not to do heavy drugs as an example.

Wait, she said that?

Do you remember when?

No.

I asked a question about like you know, as treatment plans are evolving, like what have you seen patients do to?

Like get the best results, like.

And at one point you asked about like you mentioned like i haven't been drinking, like is that?

And she was like.

And that's when she told us the story about her palm beach patient who who drank four bottles of wine a day.

And she was like you gotta cut back.

And she was like but really my criteria is don't do heavy drugs.

It's like define heavy Amount type.

Like what's the threshold?

Just a couple clarifying questions.

Like what exactly are you talking about here?

But that was my big takeaway.

Nothing's ever going to be perfect, but your role is there to try and make it as comfortable as possible.

And connecting to the things that are sort of at the foundation of your relationship are a good way to do that.

Thank god, i stalked the girl from the airport because this is one of the greatest friendships i've ever had, and it's funny that neither of us really remember how we got here, that it just like like i remember meeting you but i don't know how we got here.

I do remember meeting in the parking lot yeah, which is a little parking lot, a lot that you remember uh-huh yeah.

Yeah, i don't remember meeting randy.

Well, some of us have stronger first impressions than others.

Don't tell him I said that.

Is he going to listen to this, do you think?

Does he know I have a podcast?

Yes.

Okay.

Also, when Randy travels, I get to use all the fun toys at your house, like your massage chair.

So it really... What if he started drinking coffee and just started using his coffee machine?

Oh my God, I would never touch that thing.

He would know.

He would be like, there's a fingerprint on it.

He would. um no i would never go near that the the massage chair i was under your watchful eye but no i know what's important to randy and i know what it's okay you know i'm not going to touch his gym equipment you know the boundaries i don't think you would mind that i think he'd be you're qualified well randy is really convinced that i should be able to do pull-ups and when i showed him that i couldn't even hang and hold my body weight he was perplexed we're working on that for 20 we're not it's on the list when i tell you i'm doing negative work to when is ski done so we can start hot yoga again three more weeks three more weeks and then we're back in the in the hot yoga room doing yoga next to sema is lovely oh wait remember you tipped i don't think i tipped i just you just kind of it was like slow motion at the very beginning of class And it's yoga, which, you know, take it seriously.

Respect the art form.

And Seema just like slow motion starts to tip over.

And it's so rude to laugh at people.

I couldn't stop giggling.

But we, yeah, we both got the giggles.

So we shouldn't be allowed to practice yoga together.

And then I kept giggling the entire class.

Well, I don't think I could get up either.

I just like saw it happening.

And I was like, I should help her back.

But also I should be my drishti.

I should be focused on myself.

Yeah, we'll get back to yoga.

We'll have some fun.

And then are we doing that race or was that years ago?

No one responded to your text, so I don't really know.

Once you respond, I'll sign us up.

I'm going to go scroll back so far.

I think it's from a year ago.

At least.

Yeah.

The Soldier Field, Ted Myler.

Before the Bears leave the city.

Oh, my God.

You talking about sports is...

Not a place where I saw this going.

I feel like all things considered, we talked a lot about sports.

For two people who know.

When you said the bears, I thought you were talking about literal bears.

Which, living in New Hampshire, there are actual bears.

Have you ever seen a bear here?

Not in my backyard, no.

I've seen videos of people who have bears in their backyard.

I thought you were going to be like, I saw one at Steph's house.

No, like people at work will show me videos of the bears that come into their backyard.

And they live in New Hampshire.

If I check my ring alerts, will I see more bears?

If I use the app that I have.

I think you're going to start checking it a lot more often.

I got three more ring cameras for Christmas.

That's what my parents gave me.

More security.

Are you going to start putting them inside?

No, I don't want them inside.

I feel very passionately about not having that.

But no, like all around the house on the outside.

Yeah.

So this place is secure.

So there's no way we're going to be able to do any secret missions.

Well, you just have to coordinate with Dave, which I believe already happened, because someone did something.

Sarah tried to break into your house.

That's right.

Sarah tried to break into my house.

Because she was on second round of delivery.

Right.

And my dad apparently told her like which window would be the best for breaking in which I'm like what is happening.

But I'm glad that she, because I could see Sarah being like, oh, it's fine.

I'll just do it.

But I'm glad she decided not to break in.

The thing about Sarah though is then she would also fix it after.

She would come the next day and be like, well, I got a new screen.

It's no problem.

And she would install it.

The guest room paint project was supposed to be the two of us.

By the time I showed up, she was like, oh, I'm done.

It's like, oh, but you made the bed and made it all special.

This was when I did my first round of chemo.

And while Jackie and I were at the infusion center, this house was taken over by people.

Helping like my dad was here just directing traffic so much.

A house cleaner came that day.

Someone sent a house cleaner.

Sarah painted the guest room.

You made the bed because we had just gotten a bed.

The bed got delivered that day.

It was like I came home and was like, what happened here?

This is great.

A lot of fairies who love you very much.

And I wish that and hopefully this conversation helped share some of it.

But one thing that I wish for everyone in this world is to have a SEMA in their life, is to either be a SEMA or have a SEMA.

I think the greater gift is getting to have a SEMA in your life because you benefit so much.

But you really do like. seeing the thought and care that you put into everything that you do.

Like I think about this all the time that your girls are going to grow up and just be like our mom did so much to make our world special.

Like you just, he says, my mom is talking about you or me.

In that instance, she's talking about you, but then she's packing a bag to come here.

So it's, it's both, it's both.

You know um, it takes a village and you are the ultimate villager and um, you really set a bar unbelievably high that I know I'll never live up to, but it is like you've really showed me a lot of ways that you can show up for the people that you care about.

And I truly don't know how you do all that you do.

So I love you and I'm really glad that we were on the same flight from Chicago.

I love you.

And maybe we can run New York sometime.

No, let's run London because I never want to not work New York.

That's the thing.

Like, yeah, New York and I mean, Boston, Boston, I would never qualify to run Boston.

I don't think I have it in me to to fundraise right now.

Also cold.

It's a really cold time.

It's a cold time.

But, like when I think about, is there a marathon that I could see myself running again someday, that I would be excited to train for?

It's London.

I always said I would move back to London.

No, stop talking about moving.

You spent the entire last summer last year in Chicago.

And I was like, this is the most bullshit thing you've ever done.

I support almost everything you do, but you going to Chicago for the entire summer was was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and i got cancer last year.

So if i were to rank the hardships i faced in the summer of 2025, number one sema abandoning me.

I was gonna come back well, i mean, i was gonna come back for a chemo round yeah, and then it was 10 weeks.

I'm aware Of exactly how much time it was.

And every day I would just look around and be like, well, what am I supposed to do for dinner?

It's Wednesday.

Don't worry.

We'll be here all summer.

Thank God.

Because of the dance.

Because of the freaking dance.

Yeah.

Fucking dance.

Oh, my God.

She was at the effort.

I'm not even going to bleep it because I'm so happy right now.

Oh, my just my perfect little polished friend letting it all out.

All right, London.

All right, so London, Soldier Field.

We're going to go to a Bears game.

Football?

No.

I'm exclusively interested in hockey.

Oh, should we watch Heated Rivalry?

Yes.

We're already on the couch, so may as well put it on.

Might be missing a meeting right now.

It's okay.

Sorry.

I love you so much.

I will let you go on with your day.

I will see you in the parking lot in a couple hours when we're picking up our children.

Thank you for all that you do.

And what you know, one of my greatest fears I'm just dragging this out now is that I worry about that.

I have not been outwardly appreciative of enough to the people who have done so much for me.

And so, if I haven't said it enough yet, thank you for all that you do to make me and Annie and Ellie.

A lot of the gifts were for her too, to make our world so sparkly and special and to do so much for us on our hard days and to be the first ones to celebrate and cheer with us.

On the good ones.

Like, you left presents on our front step because Annie graduated from kindergarten.

Kindy's a big deal.

Yeah.

I think Reese is expecting everyone to show up for her graduation.

Oh, yeah.

I need to put that on my calendar.

Putting it out there.

Okay.

I mean, we will be there.

That goes without saying.

So, yeah, that's a big day.

Okay.

We'll start planning for that.

And we got to plan Valentine's Day.

I love you so much.

I love you.

You're the best.

Thank you so much for being here for this episode of the Allie on the Run show with my guest, my dear friend Seema Mack.

And as you're listening to this, it's chemo week again.

Back at it.

So hopefully more Support Squad episodes coming your way soon.

Thank you for loving these.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for loving my loved ones as much as I do.

What else can I tell you?

The newsletter, allieontherun.substack.com.

I am on Instagram at allieontherun1. newbalance.com slash running.

Check out the 1080p 15.

I think you're going to love it.

And I hope you're having a great day.

I hope life is treating you well.

The world is a lot right now.

And whether the Allie on the Run show serves as an escape or as a place to find community and connection, I hope that I'm able to serve you here in whatever you need.

And just remember that you've got this and you're doing great.

And thank you for joining me on the run.

[항암 치료라는 긴 여정 속에서 찾은 빛나는 우정: Allie Feller와 Seema Mack의 대화]-[861. The Support Squad Series: Round 9 with Seema Mack]

📋 Summary

우정의 마법: 항암 치료의 시간들을 함께하다

공항에서의 '운명적인 만남'과 공동체

'마법을 만드는 사람' Seema의 헌신

의료 현장에서의 현실과 지원의 가치

결론: 함께 달리는 삶의 의미

🎯Key Sentences

📝Key Phrases

📖 Transcript

[항암 치료라는 긴 여정 속에서 찾은 빛나는 우정: Allie Feller와 Seema Mack의 대화]-[861. The Support Squad Series: Round 9 with Seema Mack]

📋 Summary

우정의 마법: 항암 치료의 시간들을 함께하다

공항에서의 '운명적인 만남'과 공동체

'마법을 만드는 사람' Seema의 헌신

의료 현장에서의 현실과 지원의 가치

결론: 함께 달리는 삶의 의미

ListenLeap으로 딥러닝 학습

🎯Key Sentences

📝Key Phrases

📖 Transcript

ListenLeap이 실제 문맥에서 학습하도록 이끌어줌