Welcome to the Allie on the Run show.
I'm your host, Allie Feller, and this is where I talk with people who are doing exciting things on the run and beyond.
From professional athletes and celebrity runners to the everyday amateur and back of the pack runner.
We are here to celebrate everyone and anyone who enjoys a life on the run.
So, whether you're running towards something big or away from something that's been holding you back, I am here to hold your hand and help you pick up the pace.
I am so excited to welcome Jenny Grimshaw back to the Alley on the Run show, this time as a 232 marathoner.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Jenny just ran a four-minute personal best at the California International Marathon, qualifying for the 2028 Olympic Marathon.
Trials with room to spare.
This is the same Jenny, who spent years trying to break three, who has a long history with race anxiety, who dropped out of CIM in 2022.
Yeah, that Jenny.
She just ran two hours, 32 minutes and 50 seconds.
In this conversation, Jenny talks about how she made it happen.
She is a mom to two young kids, Tate and Hallie.
She works full time.
She also has the BRCA1 gene.
So she had a preventative double mastectomy a few years ago and she will have her ovaries removed next year.
And she is having the most fun on the run.
I always love getting to talk with Jenny and hearing about how she keeps chipping away at that marathon time and how she's enjoying herself along the way.
So please join me in welcoming Jenny Grimshaw to the Alley on the Run show.
Jenny Grimshaw, you are a 232 50 marathoner.
Welcome back to the Allie on the Run show.
You're a 232 marathoner.
How many times have you said it out loud?
Do you want to say it right now?
I can't believe it.
I don't know if I've said it out loud yet.
Okay, say it right now.
I'm a 232 marathoner.
Woo!
I did.
I did update my Instagram bio.
Oh, I have that in my notes.
When exactly, like, were you still at the finish line when you updated it?
When did the bio?
I was like, I made myself wait, I think until Tuesday.
And then I was like, I got, I got to do it.
And it was.
I changed my picture and that was really hard because my kids have been in my profile picture like since I had a kid, but I was yeah.
It's time.
They don't need that spotlight right now.
I know that I speak for so many of us when I say, let's see, congratulations.
So happy for you.
Surprise, but then not.
Like I saw 232 and was like, holy shit, Jenny.
And then I was like, why am I surprised?
Like, of course, Jenny just did that.
So, right off the top, what is?
When you look at this year's CIM, what's the snapshot moment from the day?
What do you picture?
Oh, my team.
I mean, there was something really magical about the build with the team.
And I had I was really like calm and in a good place leading up to the race.
And so I had a really good feeling.
But it's funny.
I train a lot with these two women, carolyn and aaron, and we had joked the whole time that like, in some ways we're really competitive, but like our dream for the day was to all pr holding hands across the finish line.
Stop my dream, that's my dream for you.
Like we maybe would be disqualified for doing that, but still my dream.
Wait no no, i don't think you're allowed to hold hands.
Stop it.
I've never heard this before.
All I want is for people to finish.
I know we all look it up after.
Um, but we ran.
Carolyn and I ran a few of the early miles together, but we we didn't run any of the race, basically on seven onward together.
And we all finished within a second of each other.
And it was.
I mean, I will never get over that moment of like.
Just there are pictures where I'm like like, toppling them.
Like we were maybe going to fall over to the ground.
Like my legs are like going every which direction.
And it was just, I mean, it was, it was magical, right?
Like getting to do that.
I say this a lot, but I'm just like I'm so grateful that I'm able to have like female friendships that feel this strong at the stage of life.
I think that's something that like, I just never take for granted.
Like And it's just not talked about enough.
Like female friendships are just so important.
And to be able to do this together while I'm like, you know, a little older and have kids.
And it was just magical.
Like that finishing stretch.
I like knew my teammate was ahead of me and I could hear people cheering for Carol behind me.
And it was, yeah, I will like never get over that that finish line together.
And then and then we saw we were waiting at the finish line.
We came our teammate Maya, who ran a 228 and was fifth. and is the most humble person ever.
I was like, Maya, how'd you do?
She was like, it went really well.
I was like, what place were you?
She was like, like top 10.
So we found out later.
And then we saw like my really good friend, Sophie qualified.
And then we had three other teammates come in under 237.
So that was just like, everyone had a great day.
So it's like the, the storybook day for the team.
Can you talk about this team and how you found the team and how you have developed these friendships?
People often say like making friends as an adult is hard, which I push back on.
I think it can be, but if you're willing to put in the effort, it's worth it.
It's worth that pursuit.
So, so how did these friendships come into your life and tell us a little bit about your team?
Yeah, so I joined Peninsula Distance Club.
We are a pretty small team.
I think it's like 50 to 60 in total co-ed and people who, you know, have full-time jobs and lives, but are very, very serious about, you know, running and the goals they set and wanting to be, you know, still competitive.
And I had heard about them.
I'd seen our coach, Dina Evans, who I could talk for hours about is phenomenal.
I'd seen her at a lot of local races.
And when I was like seven months pregnant with my second child Hallie I, just I had this feeling of like I knew that I really wanted running to still be a super important part of my life.
And I was like, if I'm going to continue to really go after it, I want to like be all in and like with the team.
And like, I've always known that I need like people around me.
And I like, just like to have that joy and, training together.
And so I wrote to Dina seven months pregnant.
And I was like, this is probably a bit of like a different, you know, email than you normally get.
But like, I really want to join the team.
And so we had a great call.
And then she was kind of like, you know, obviously, I'm not going to jump into workouts now.
But like, let me know when you're back and you're ready.
And so I think I went to my first practice when I was I think about three months postpartum.
And it's just it's been amazing.
And um, I had known some of the girls from running and I had um, my friend Holly was on the team and kind of like, brought me in and introduced me and um, it's just it's it's, they're the woman I train with.
I'm I'm the only kind of like mom in the group um, but I never feel kind of like different or left out or something because of that, and I think that's been something that's been so nice in the way that Dina treats me as an athlete too.
It's never kind of like.
She's very respective of.
You know the responsibilities I have in life and my time as a mom, but she also doesn't use like kid gloves with me, which is something that I've always been a bit worried about.
But so just found the team from the local area and you know I've developed friendships through the training.
But I think this cycle was something really unique because there were so many of us doing this one race.
And there's something just like really, really bonding about being all in on something together.
So is this different?
And I don't know the answer to this, but like I'm used to running clubs where you can just show up and join,
Like maybe there's a membership fee, like an annual fee, but like usually it's yeah, all are welcome.
Is this different?
Did you have to be vetted?
Did you have to apply?
Okay.
And so what does it take to be on this team?
It's a great question.
I said to, I was like, Dina's inbox is probably going to be blowing up after, after this.
Yeah.
There's no, and there's no kind of like standards that are posted or anything like that.
I think a lot of it is just kind of like you know, finding out, talking to Dina, figuring out if you're the right fit, knowing you know, kind of getting to know the women or the men in the area.
So yeah, there's no kind of like, Standard or anything that I know of, at least that's like posted online, I think a lot of it's just like being she's talked before about there are very few rules of the club, but there's I forget the three that she's mentioned, but it's like what is really important is that it's people who really care about the sport, but who also care. are like very supportive of each other.
That's like one of the tenants of the team is that, like you have like, being a good teammate is just as important as being a good runner.
And so there's like a certain I think you know profile of people who want that training environment and want to.
You know we have practice every Tuesday night and Saturday morning.
And like, that's a big part of it is going to those practices and showing up in person.
So I think a certain of like profile of person who the team will work really well for.
So I know, obviously as parents, and as parents who work either inside or outside the home, it's hard to find that dedicated time to go to things like practices.
So you said Tuesday evening and Saturday morning.
So what does life look like during those times?
What sort of support do you have, whether...
For the kids, I'm sure the workday is hopefully done by that point.
But what about with the kids stuff at home?
What do you have to do to be able to make those practices and those commitments happen?
Yeah, such a good question.
Tuesday nights are generally a combination of either our nanny staying late if my husband's still at work, or him being home, and then
We have a special babysitter who comes Saturday morning.
And she'll often just take Hallie and Miles, my husband, and Tate, my elder son, will have a date together.
He has soccer practice on Saturday morning.
So it's definitely...
I've gotten more kind of like accepting of it over the years.
I think after I first had my son, I felt a lot of guilt for my training.
But we really like found a rhythm that works.
And by getting it done on Saturday morning, then the rest of my weekend is for the kids.
I'm also very lucky.
My kids still sleep.
They nap about three hours on the weekend because Tate doesn't nap during the week.
So my long runs, I generally do Sunday during their nap.
So I don't miss any time with them, which has worked.
That was something I started this year and it's worked really well.
What helped you get to that point of not feeling guilty for making this very important time for you?
It's a great question.
I mean, part of it's just like, I'm probably a lot less fun for my kids to be around when I'm not running.
Like I could give you the kind of like corny, cliche answer of like you know they're all true of like how it makes me a better mom and a better person.
But like, I mean just like the.
The examples are there of like when I'm not running and when I feel less, like I have something that's like for me, like I'm just I'm shorter with them.
I'm snappier.
I'm like, I'm just less like myself.
Um.
So I think and also just seeing right, like my kids grow up and you know the relationships that we have and them starting to understand running and um, seeing it through their eyes has also helped reinforce that like this is net positive.
And obviously I'm like so very grateful and lucky to be able to have like the support system to be able to do that.
But yeah, really just in the scheme of things, too.
I'm like, my son could probably be like a little less attached to me.
I love it.
Sometimes I play him the Mariah Carey song that's like, why are you so obsessed with me?
So it's like, I, I like feel very attached to both of them and bonded with him.
So I'm like, we're doing okay.
It's working.
Tell me about the decision.
You had them at the race.
Yes.
Tell me about that decision to have them involved in the weekend and to want to have and I think we all in a perfect world, we all want our kids to be there for these moments.
And it means you're, Even with help, you're on and it does make the weekends different.
So tell me a little bit about that decision and what went into it and what sort of support you had over the weekend.
Yeah, my parents came out, which was amazing.
Shout out to Judy and Kevin.
Always shout out to Judy and Kevin.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
So they had a hotel room with the kids.
Tate was so excited to have a slumber party.
He woke my dad up four times overnight and My dad said he was in like his little sofa bed and he was like grandpa, how you doing in there?
Um, but that was a really important decision to me when I was thinking about the race I wanted to do.
I did London this spring and that was incredible.
And um, I really feel like I needed that on my own to just kind of like really just focus on the race and the next step as a runner.
But I knew that this time the goal was the trials and um in 2020.
When I ran in Atlanta, it was like so fun and so great.
And I saw all these moms there and I was like I feel like I have done what I want in the running world like pre mom.
And I had a goal that I wanted to come back to the trials with my kids.
And so being able to have them at the finish line was just.
I mean, it was.
I can't even put it into words.
And I knew, right.
Like there was, you know Hallie, wouldn't?
I was crying at 630 the night before, so I was like going in there to put her to bed.
But like keeping that normalcy too, of like my kids will love me no matter what, and that just like calmness of actually having them around in there, was really calming.
And then having them at the finish, like I was celebrating with all my teammates and all of a sudden the it was like all blocked off so it was hard for families and fans to get to the finish line.
But I just remember at one point running around going where are my babies?
Where are my babies?
I want to hug my babies.
Um, which was incredible.
I mean, Tate got me flowers and he was so excited and then quickly wanted to know what we were doing next for the rest of the day.
So that was a real, just like shock to the system too.
But, um, I knew that I wanted them there, right?
Like.
So much of what I do isn't necessarily like for them like running is something I really do for myself, but I think it's a lot of.
It is because of them that I've been able to like progress and be the runner that I am.
So it was also just like I thank you to like them for helping me, I think, find a lot, a lot more of myself.
And I do feel like it was really like a family team effort.
So what does that mean, when you say that you know they've helped you become this runner, that you are?
In what ways?
Uh, like has helped my, I think, like maybe.
I mean, I remember, like you know five, six years ago we were talking about this idea that I constantly feel like I, you know, don't belong.
Um, and that's taken a lot of work to get through.
But i think this idea that like, there are many ways to show up as a competitive runner um, and what lights your fire, and i think that i've always had this mindset that i love training and i have so much fun but i'm not a good racer and that i like, i have a lot of anxiety and i don't have the grit and i just kind of like freak out and don't like that.
I don't.
I see other people at the finish line and they're like throwing up or toppling over.
And I'm like, why can't I be like that?
And I think that my kids have helped me realize that like maybe being just like really happy out there is actually like my superpower and a strength that isn't like a bad thing.
And so I think that that's something I've tried to really like think about over the years is I love running.
And so just like let myself love racing too.
And then really bringing that like perspective of like, I get to do this and I love it.
And it's not like defining who I am in a way of like no, there's no like good or bad way to race right.
Like and so just having a little bit honestly of that like childlike enjoyment, it's just like fun out there.
And so I think this year I've really tried to lean into that, that like I don't need to be throwing up at the finish line to know that I gave it my all.
So I think they've helped me like find that part of like the joy in the sport can be a superpower.
It doesn't need to be.
It doesn't always need to look like toppling over.
Throwing up.
It's so interesting to hear you say that, because I would argue that many people who are throwing up or toppling over at the finish line are looking at your race photos and going why can't I be smiling the whole time like Jenny?
It's unreal that you are running the times you are running and you're smiling the whole time.
I would look at these pictures from cim and it's like okay, jenny ran 232.
Looking like that, waving and smiling the whole time.
What does it feel like for you to run a 232 50, because you're making it look easy and i'm not saying like i don't think 232 is easy, but like what does that race effort feel like for you?
Yeah, i will say this race actually felt very Like.
It felt like the pace was just coming to me.
And that's not been, it's the first rate.
It's actually the first marathon I've ever run where I didn't get even a mini panic attack during it.
And I do.
It's like so corny, but I really am just like I'm out there and I'm like this is I'm living, the dream that I dreamed about for so long.
Like not the time, but I spent five years trying to break three.
And I think almost all those marathons had like crying phone calls in the middle of them.
And the last time was I was at CIM was 2022. two, I think.
Yeah.
And I dropped out halfway.
I had just finished weaning ahead of my surgery and I was in like a really dark bad place and had like really bad panic attacks dropped out and was just in one of those head spaces of like why do I do this?
And like, I knew that, like, I know that I love running.
I know I want to be out there, but just like, wasn't, it mentally wasn't, wasn't clicking.
So I think just being able to be out there and like not have so much of that anxiety was just like it really is.
It was so freeing.
And just when you have one of those days where, like things click, I'm like thought in the race, like you, just you don't take those days for granted.
You never know when those are going to happen.
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Sweet dreams.
Let's go back even a little bit further.
You know, we know that you ran the 2020 trials amazing day in Atlanta just like a banner day for so many.
And then 2021 you have a son and in the midst of the newborn chaos of it all, word comes out that they're changing the trial standards, that it's going from 245 to to 237.
What do you remember about?
That was a huge day for so many people, especially for so many women, because it changed by so much.
What do you remember about hearing that news and your reaction?
Yeah.
Oh, I was devastated.
I remember, even before I got pregnant, I was so excited to get pregnant, but we, we did IVF transfer.
And I remember having this breakdown before it.
And I was like, I don't know that I'm ever going to be able to like really run again.
At this at a competitive level.
And I remember when the trials came out, I think it was around the morning of CIM.
I think it was like that afternoon.
And I remember I was in Tate's nursery.
He was six weeks old.
I was sitting in the chair with him and I saw that and I was just like gutted.
Like I was just like there is.
And it wasn't it was.
It was very hard because it wasn't even so much of like.
Oh, I'm not going to be at the 2028 trials.
It was like, I've lost that opportunity to chase after the standard with fellow runners, right?
Like they're an eight, eight minute PR, when I'm sitting there six weeks postpartum barely running.
Yet was just, it was.
It was a very tough day.
And I think a lot of women had this and I applaud them for this.
But this like positivity of, like you know, get in loser.
We're going for two 37 that like meet girls meme.
And I like applaud that idea of we're, and I think we've seen it happen of like, let's all rise up.
We're going to do it.
But that is not how I felt at the time.
I felt like like just a blow to the face of like this is there's, there's the, the goal, and like the collective chase gone.
And I think we saw it a little at the start of it, right?
Like so many women were, would go after this 237 and lose sight of like still running amazing races and being an amazing fitness.
And so that whole and I still have mixed feelings on the, on the standard of of, just like I hate when it lets it, when it gets in the way of people like still celebrating what are incredible accomplishments.
So do you remember when your perspective shifted and you were like all right, I am getting in and we're running 237?
When did you sort of say, yeah, I'm down.
Let's try.
April 27, 2025.
Wait, really?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, like I hadn't you know, I'm kind of like amazing, super lucky return to running, really with both pregnancies.
But after my son had a had a big leap.
And I ran 239 on a day where I was going for the 237.
But like, I didn't believe I was going to run 237.
I felt like I had a PR in me.
And so I had to go with the group.
But like there was, and I was thrilled with the result, but like I didn't actually believe that, like I was going to be a 236 runner.
And I think running it this past April was largely because the pressure wasn't there, right?
Like me and my training partner Caro.
Just like, trained for London and had this like such a fun build and then fun week in London.
And so it came as a result of that build.
But I really think, had London not happened and we had gone into this fall of like okay, we're a two 39 runner and now pressure's on, we're going to go for two 36.
That would have been a really tough approach for me to take.
Was the pressure off in London because, so for context, you ran two 36 in London, two 36 and change.
And yeah, the qualifying window for 2028 was not yet open.
Right.
So we didn't even know that.
I don't think we knew the standard.
Yeah.
I don't think so either.
So you, cause I remember texting my friend Connor from London being like, cause I was with Jess.
We were with you at the bar and being like, Oh my God, Jenny Donnelly, just sorry.
Jenny Grimshaw just ran two 36.
Is it going to count?
And I'm pretty sure Connor was like, I can't talk like on the USATF board anyway.
Uh, so was that why the pressure was off of like, Hey, we want to run this, to run this.
Cause I was going to ask you if like, was there almost a disappointment to have finally run that time, but it didn't count.
Which is so dumb?
Like to say, no, totally.
You're like, what do you mean?
It doesn't count.
Like, so yeah, Yeah, definitely less pressure because of it.
Also, my training partner is Canadian.
So like she doesn't, her it doesn't matter either.
It was a little devastating because I was part of Puma Project 3, which is amazing.
Puma's, I'm a huge Puma fan now.
And to win $3,000, you have to PR by three minutes.
And this is how much I was like, just don't focus on this time, on the time of anything.
Go by feel.
I PR by two minutes and 59 seconds.
So I think that was arguably as devastating as the trials not being open.
But I'm like such a fan of Puma, I can't even be mad.
But there was a part of it after where the trials open and I did feel like I have to do this again.
Like now I really have to do it and how that fits into like seasons of life with family and like health planning.
And so that was.
I'm someone who's like, I love running, but I want, you know, family to come first and I don't want to have to like fit running into family planning and health planning when it doesn't match.
And so that was a real, that was a stress for me.
I wasn't planning on running another marathon this year, really.
I think I'd signed up for Chicago last year, but like, you know, didn't tell anyone.
So then it became like, I was like, okay, miles, like this thing happens.
So like change of plans for the fall.
So I that was.
When it becomes a stressor of like now I have to get this done, not have to like I want to, and fitting it into life parts.
I think that added a new layer of stress.
So you go, you run 236 in London, and then this summer you did another round of egg freezing.
Yes.
Let's talk about that and what that looked like and how...
I'm guessing it was, hey, I just ran this great race.
So this now, it makes sense to do this now during some downtime.
What did that look like?
And what did running look like for you throughout that?
Did you take that time completely off?
Were you able to run through it?
How did you feel?
How'd your body respond?
Yeah.
So after Chicago, the fall before, I really took a break from harder training.
Well, I didn't take enough of a break and then it kind of caught up to me in December and I really took about like a month off from workouts, really lowered my mileage.
And that helped a lot for London.
I hadn't, I think, really taken the type of break that my body needed in the past, except for, like pregnancy, postpartum breaks.
So I was like, I know I need a break after London.
So I'm going to schedule this egg freezing I need to do like three weeks after the race.
So now it'll be like, you know, six to seven weeks where I'm not allowed to work out at all.
And so, like I joke, but that is, I think there's sometimes this joke on my team that I'm like, I'm like obsessed with like planning and numbers and math and making everything fit.
And it's like, it's, there's some, some realness to that.
So it did, it also just felt like a really good time.
We, you know, think about expanding our family more and I turned 35 next year and, given my BRCA gene and age of onset and my family history, want to get my ovaries out in the next year or two.
So it felt like a really good time to do that.
I The experience itself.
I will always preface my fertility experiences with I don't know what it's like to go through IVF, having struggled with fertility challenges right.
Like the emotional part of that I cannot speak to nor like pretend to know what that's like.
I've seen friends go through it and it's it's really, really challenging just to watch as a friend.
So I will always preface that medically like it's not fun.
It's.
I didn't run for probably two weeks.
Um, i find the hardest part to be like the recovery after.
I think during it it's there's something like scientific and cool, but i think my hormones really probably took like two months to stabilize and i think i probably didn't.
It's like a just kind of like a through line in my life is that i think i'll don't often give enough credit when i'm in.
Something to like this is really tough on your body.
Let's give a little more recovery and love is probably what it needs.
So i'd say i did that end of may and i don't think i felt normal running until like July, early August.
And at that point, like you said, you were signed up for Chicago.
So for how long were you committed to the Chicago marathon?
And at what point did you say like, okay, maybe not Chicago.
So I was training.
Um, and you know as, as moms out there will probably understand, didn't necessarily time it the best with Um, like family life.
We were traveling for a month on the East coast with family, both kids, no school, no summer camp.
So full-time job, it was, I wouldn't say I had like an abundance of free time for training.
Um, and so with the East coast T that was, I never felt like I got in my groove.
I think part of that was not training with a team.
It was just like hard.
And I felt this tension that I don't normally feel, which is like I would go out for my morning runs and my kids would be like with the grandparents at the pool or going berry picking.
And I like I really wanted to be there and that I feel like I've had a really good rhythm at home where things feel more balanced, but this felt like a season of life that I was like missing and and sacrificing in a way that like wasn't net positive.
Um, so that was tough.
And then I ran Falmouth and got heat stroke uh, which was not a fun experience.
Do not recommend um running uh with a 105 fever um towards the end.
So that was I just like.
That was one of my first pro field experiences and I felt like we're talking about imposter syndrome.
That was one for the books um, and then things were okay and then my whole family we got sick.
So both kids got croup, then I got uh sick from them and then, in fashion of what i was saying before, didn't kind of give myself enough love uh, trained through it and ended up with pneumonia.
So it was kind of just like the domino effect of the build wasn't feeling smooth.
And then all these life factors um, and that was tough i had.
This is where that pressure of like i wanted that 236 so badly um, And just like the timing, I felt such time pressure.
And yet I knew like I wasn't feeling like super confident or inspired or like that fire.
And so I withdrew and then I had kind of secretly signed up for CIM, you know, as kind of a like family wise.
It probably doesn't make sense to do that, but I just I was all my team was doing it.
And so I just I decided to make that decision and make some tradeoffs and kind of like our family planning and timeline for the fall.
And I'm so glad I did.
So once you made that call of like, okay, not Chicago, but I've secretly got CIM on the back burner.
Did you feel a weight lifted?
Yes.
Oh my goodness.
So much.
Yeah.
I mean I think I originally CIM, really scared me of this idea of like everyone going after it together, where like that should be so inspiring and did end up being.
But like I looked at that and I was like, like I could feel the anxiety creeping up of like, oh my god, everyone's going to be going after this goal.
That's about a clock on a time that's so scary right, like so many people are going to be there that you know and people are going to be watching, and but as I like just got into the daily training with the team, I was like wow, this was so the right decision all along, like all of this was meant to kind of fall into place.
Um, and I mean hindsight so 2020.
But I look back and I've learned so much about like, what I need out of a build.
And when there are signs that maybe things aren't fitting exactly how they should and to, kind of like, take a step back from those moments.
That's such a good lesson.
And I think, like you said, it's always hindsight, right?
Like we push and we push and we're like oh, things aren't clicking, and we just get frustrated, but we never adjust our goals.
We just stay hyper fixated on this race day that we've pictured for so long.
So I mean, I give you a ton of credit for making that decision.
Obviously it paid off.
When you woke up the morning of CIM, did you feel like sometimes the pros talk about this of like?
I felt like it was going to be a special day.
Did you have that feeling?
Yes.
Say more.
So I also think if we talk about, like how have my kids helped me become a better runner?
Ever since having kids, I have the superpower of just sleeping before marathons.
I fell asleep at 8 p.m. on Saturday and didn't wake up until my alarm at 4 a.m.
So that was like a good start.
But I just I was.
I was very calm and I was walking to the bus with my friend Sophie and she was talking about being a little nervous.
And I said to her, like, today's going to be a good day.
I said sometimes you look back on a marathon day and you were like wow, that was one of the best days of my life.
And I was like today is about to be one of those days where we look back and we're going to like miss this day for years to come.
We're in like soak it in because today is going to be one of one of the best days of our lives.
And I'm not normally.
I am not I'm someone who normally gets super nervous and I'm not normally someone who, like I'm so superstitious right, like I don't even like post about what race I'm running just because I get.
I'm so that way.
But I just had this feeling where I was like yes, we're nervous, but like let's start enjoying it right now, because I had this feeling, this entire build, of being so nostalgic for the, for like what I was living, which is like I just knew it was such a special build and You could see this as like a really positive or a negative thing, which is like OK, like you don't need to already be missing something while you're in it.
But I just had this sense of like nostalgia, of like we're going to look back at this as something special.
And my teammates and I were talking about that yesterday.
Like we look back and everything fell into place and it makes sense.
But like we all felt a little bit of like there was something magical going on.
It's like the office quote from the finale, when Andy's like I wish there was a way to know that you were in the good old days when you were still in them.
That's exactly how it felt.
Oh, I'm like emotional just hearing about it.
Okay.
So the bus ride out, there were you.
Was there a part of you?
That was like at all triggered, thinking about your last time running CIM and how that had gone.
Or were you in a totally new headspace for this one?
You know, there should have been.
My parents asked me the same thing.
They were like, how did it feel when you ran by us at the spot you dropped out last time?
Oh shit, Judy.
I know.
And I was like, Oh yeah, that was the spot I dropped out last time.
So like, I think my parents were a little bit triggered.
Okay.
Fair.
No, like I was very calm.
I also have worked really hard on like not letting my mind go there because I, as soon as I start thinking so, like what I?
I had um, a friend who, my friend Bridget shout out to Bridget, who's amazing, she qualified with an eight minute PR and I was talking to her the day before and I was like one thing I thought a lot about when I qualified in 20 I almost said 2044, 2019 was like take your mind and the subjectiveness out of it and just like be like the data says I can do this right.
Like think about your workouts, think about what you've done and when your mind tries to tell you you can't like just Say I'm very numbers person.
So like the data says I can do this and just like don't think about anything else.
And I tried to really take that into the day, which is I was like, I did this at London.
I've never felt better in a training block.
So like I know I can do this.
And it's something I've been trying to read more about, like mental strategies and visualization.
And so like really trying to think positively of like, I know I can do this.
And not letting those doubts creep in, because I think once they do, it's just so like.
I look back at Falmouth and I'm like I was not setting myself up for success from the moment I boarded that bus.
So just trying to like think about, like take a few memories where you felt most yourself during the build and just like think about that and use that as like a proof point that you can't talk yourself out of it.
So bring us to the start line.
What did it feel like at the start of CIM, surrounded by so many women going for this collective goal?
It was I mean, it was amazing.
It was I and again, it's like the difference.
I remember in 2019 feeling like I was going to throw up on that start line the whole first eight miles.
I wanted to cry like it was.
It was so scary and so overwhelming.
And that one, I like never really felt good.
Like it was that was a really tough day.
And this time.
I was standing next to my two training partners and friends who we finished together and just like chatting.
Like at one point they were like 10 seconds and I was like, oh shit, like we should probably like stop.
I'm sorry, swearing.
We should probably like stop chatting now.
But just like real, like we kept saying to ourself it's just another day at Sawyer.
Like that's where we do a lot of our training.
And so that was really important to me was like don't build this up to be something it needs to not be.
Like just pretend we're back there doing our thing.
Like nothing fancy, just like, We're back together in San Francisco doing what we do every weekend.
So was the goal just to run sub 237 or were you looking?
Because I don't understand how, if the goal is to run 236 59, you then run 232.
Like that's a huge, significant gap there.
So what were your goals?
What was the race plan?
How did you do this?
Yeah.
So I talked to my coach ahead of time and we kind of had the same feeling, which was We thought a PR was in the cards, but we also didn't want to risk the OTQ.
Especially given like my timing and things like it was very important to me that I get that done on the day.
And so we had talked about going through the half at 117, 30 to 45.
And then I'd never negative split a marathon.
So my goal was to negative split um, and so there's like two, like a few goals in there and that really helped too right like there wasn't one goal.
That was a time.
It was like a few pieces um that were building up to that.
And so i went through the half at 1 17 13, so a little, a little faster than prescribed, but it felt like the pace was really just like coming to me and then the goal was kind of cranked down towards the end.
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So were you with like was there, you know, I know Steph Bruce was in there doing some pacing.
I know there were a few people.
So when you started, was it we're staying with this pack or were you running your own race?
No, we wanted to go out.
So the goal was Carolyn Aaron and I would probably run around together and get a little bit ahead of the pack just to kind of like for me I knew I didn't want to be in the pack because that would cause me a lot of like anxiety just that many people and want to get a little ahead to get our bottles.
And so.
We settled in.
It was me Carolyn, our another teammate Zoe, and then Rachel Hyland, who I know people who can't see on Zoom right now.
We both just made like the most like tilted our heads with her hands over our hearts.
Exactly.
The queen, Rachel.
Yeah.
And like mom of two.
I don't even I don't even like know her very well, but I'm such a fangirl of her.
Um, and just like following her Strava and her like transparency and honesty.
So I found myself with her for probably the first like 10 miles.
And that was like me, like fangirling, you know, and like I won't, like I literally kept setting saying to myself like wow, I'm running next to, like Rachel right now.
Like, this is so cool.
Um, and so I just kind of like settled in with them.
And then, like I said, I really just focused on like letting the pace come to me.
And so trying to do a little less math, which still was doing math, but um, And then I was also, so went through the half and then I was running with Sarah Lopez for probably five or six miles.
And her coach, I heard say to her, like, you're top 25.
I was like, we're what now?
And he also said, like, you're doing great, nothing fancy.
And that line really resonated with me.
I saw my coach at mile 20 and I go, she goes, how are you doing?
I go, great, nothing fancy.
And she was like, what?
And I was like, nothing fancy.
And she was like, yeah, but also like people will start coming back.
So like, if you feel good, pick it up.
Be a little fancy.
Yeah.
The idea of just like, you don't need to do anything you haven't done before.
So that was like what I kept repeating to myself was like, nothing fancy.
Um, I felt so good, which was so unusual.
I'm not used to like actually feeling really good in a marathon.
So there was this like constant battle of like do I go, but also like there's six more miles.
Anything could happen.
So I started slowly picking it up and then I think my last three miles were like my last mile was sub five, 30.
And I think the two before that were like in the five thirties.
I, I don't, I like, I can't, I don't understand, but I saw Aaron.
I was like, just like hunting, not hunting.
She's my teammate, but like, just like trying to rein her in.
And like, I could also speak for like, Aaron is also speaking of fangirling.
Like I'm, she is so fast and like a track star.
And so I just kept like reining her in and being like, this is so cool.
Like I'm running with her.
And that was really helpful to just like focus on her and pick it up slowly and just try to like get a little closer.
Shout out to her.
She still out kicked me at the finish.
So, but that was, it was really helpful.
And then with three miles to go, I was like, okay, I like, let's crank this, like, let's do this.
And I had this moment of like this is the, This is the time you're going to look back on and, like you're going to, you're going to miss being at mile 23.
And there was a part of me that was like, I almost don't want it to end like this is amazing.
And then at mile 25, I was like, I really want this to end.
And then at mile 25, I started doing math and I was like, holy, like I thought 234 was my pace.
And then with like six miles to go, I was like, we could run in the 233s.
And then, with a mile to go, I was like I can't do math that well right now, but I'm pretty sure we can break 233.
And I just, I like couldn't compute.
I still can't really compute in my brain.
But, and then it was, it was really cool too, because we crossed the finish line.
And I think, you know, there had been the top like 15 that ran.
I don't know.
The top 10 were probably like sub 230, but there weren't a lot of people had kind of like that top 15.
It kind of cleared out.
And then there was us and I think there was one person in the 233.
So we had basically like the four of us teammates had the finish line basically to ourselves for like 90 seconds.
And then I turned around and I was like, Guys, the clock's like 2.34, no one's cheering.
So there's this video where you see me go to the finish line and then like waving my hand so excitedly, but I have no idea who this person is.
So then she crosses the finish line and then I'm just like, yay, good job.
But then we see Sophie Jen Leanne like everyone coming at once and we just start losing our freaking minds.
Like my throat hurt more than my body the next day.
Like lost it.
And then my friend Bridget, who comes through with like 15 seconds to spare and this girl is like tough as they come um, like has just dealt with so much this fall and just like eight minute PR.
And the girl is just like nothing's home, like she immediately, poor Bridget, love you Bridget.
Like no one's home, throwing up everywhere, and I'm like Bridget, you did it and I'm like hugging her and she's just like there's no words.
My sunglasses fall off, land in her throw up and I'm like I don't think we're going to keep those.
Like
So it was just like amazing like so many different emotions, so many different like personalities and responses.
And yeah, it's just like there's nothing like the CIM finish line.
There's nothing like it.
I love seeing the pictures and videos.
And I will say that in watching the pictures and videos from this year's CIM, your little bubble ponytail is a staple in all of them.
And it's just, I mean, it's such a testament to a lot of things.
It's a testament to this collective group of women chasing this goal and supporting each other.
Like that has become one of the hallmarks of CIM.
But that's also you.
Like anyone who knows you knows, like, Jenny will be your biggest cheerleader.
Like, and it's just, I don't know.
It just made me so happy to see that, because to see you having every reason to make that day about you and about what you just did and about a massive PR, but you are the first one to celebrate everyone else is just like makes my heart warm.
I appreciate that.
That's like just what makes it so fun, right?
Like it's great to do something on your own, but like anything in life, when you're doing it with others, it's I mean so it's like 20 times more better.
And I mean our text group then we still like sometimes I'll just text someone in the morning and be like did you remember that you're a 235 marathoner now?
Like just hype girl.
It's like to get to just continue reliving it together.
You also.
You know this was the longest you've ever hung out at that finish line waiting for the OTQ clock to turn.
You know, in years past.
It's like you're there for a couple.
You know, maybe a couple seconds before the final clock.
This time you had time to like hang out and linger.
What happens at CIM when the clock hits 237?
Because that's a huge change in vibe.
What was it like being on the ground?
Did you stick around for a bit?
And what were the emotions like?
Yeah, I think about that a lot.
I think they did something different this year.
So when the clock was 240, there was a separate finish line.
So that helps a bit.
But I think I think people are still celebrating.
I think by that point people started to go more like into like little groups and see their loved ones.
And I think people who were 237 and above, I think were very gracious.
And I think there was like a little exit area where where some of them went.
But this is where I struggle so much too with the standard, because so, like those, some of those people still did really run PRs.
And so I don't think I noticed like a a real vibe change, but it's something I definitely was like very cognizant about, of like let's keep an eye on like how much we're celebrating around certain people as they come through the finish line.
So I have to imagine that this feels like a huge checkmark in life and in running of like.
Okay, I can like enjoy this one for a while.
So often?
We are immediately chasing, no matter how the race goes, we're immediately chasing the next thing.
What does it feel like for you now?
Is it like, okay, I can chill with it.
Like I'm content with this time.
And the next fun thing will be the 2028 trials, where you add in terms of your marathon journey at large.
Yeah, it's bittersweet.
Um, I never, ever thought I'd I'd be here and like the time, but I just never thought I'd be loving training this much and racing like training.
Yes.
But I never thought I'd actually love racing.
And so, you know, 2026 is really focused on like, that's a family season of life.
Um, I'm gonna, you know, get my, my ovaries out next year and won't be running a marathon next year.
And it's really focused on like I did two marathons this year really like three builds with Chicago.
So, Next year is really focused on family.
And that feels like the right decision.
And then, you know, 2027, we'll get back to training for 2028.
But it's I mean, as the women out there know, like balancing, yes, motherhood, but also just like family planning and parenting. your body with running goals is really, really tough because, you know, I do this for fun.
It's not, it's not my job or, but I, I love it.
And so the idea of like pausing all that and then taking time to get back to where I was is is a hard pill to swallow.
And so I I'm I'm, really excited that 2028 is like already marked and stamped on the calendar to kind of just like emotionally keep me in the sport, even if I'm not physically training and racing at the same level for a bit.
For runners.
In the position that you're in, like you just described, we're like yeah, this is a hobby.
Like it's something you take very seriously and you're very good at.
But ultimately, like you said, you're not getting paid to do this.
This is something you choose to do and that you want to do.
So what does that look like for the trials?
And I know we're still so far out, but so much of the buildup is about qualifying.
It's about getting the OTQ.
It's about the sub 237.
So, when you look way into the future at the 2028 trials, is it a mindset of and I know we talked about this
Last time when in the lead up to Atlanta of like, I'm just happy to be here.
Or is it like I'm looking to do something special here?
Any idea what would make the 2028 trials like a real banner day for you?
This is such an ungenny answer, but like, I want to compete.
Hell yeah.
I love this answer.
Okay.
Also, before we started recording, I'm pretty sure the first thing I said is I was like what if you win the trials?
And now I would like to revisit that.
My definition of compete.
It's a little better.
But like yeah, we'll see when we get closer.
But like you know, top 50, top 60, like so scary to say, but like I yeah, I want to compete there.
I want to show up and um, Whether it's a PR or what, but like I, I don't want to just go to be there.
Right.
Like I think, as I continue to pour a lot into this sport, it's just so fun to see what you get out of yourself.
So, yeah, saying it here, I'm I'm I'm going for it in twenty twenty eight.
I love it.
How are you feeling about?
Like you said you know you talked earlier you have the BRCA1 gene.
That's meant a lot for your health and you've had to make a lot of hard decisions based on that.
So the next step in that at some point is getting your ovaries out, which I have to do too at some point.
Do you think we can get like a two for one?
Wouldn't that be so fun?
That'd be so fun.
We could like recover together and have little like... We could do that.
My mom could come take care of us.
Stop.
I mean, that would be the greatest gift in the world.
It would be so cute.
A little matching fuzzy socks and we could be propped up into like a big bed together and we could watch shows the whole time.
Don't tempt me.
Stop.
Don't tempt me with a good time about buy one, get one special on ovary removal.
But how are you feeling about that surgery?
That's another big surgery.
Yeah.
How are you feeling?
It's scary, but I'm also...
I mean, I see it as like, I'm grateful to be able to do that.
You know this but I don't talk about it a lot, but my nephew was diagnosed with leukemia a year a year to the date this week.
And my sister and her husband are absolutely incredible.
But you just, I mean, life's wild, right?
Like she doesn't have the BRCA gene.
And so, sorry, hard to talk about.
You know, I kind of felt like I got the short end of the stick And I was diagnosed and I did all this, you know.
Prep provider.
And then this happens to my two now three year old nephew.
And so just like.
It's it's I'm not looking forward to it, but it's just like.
I'm grateful that I'm able to, you know, get it done and science is there and I want to do it early and just move forward.
And I've had some really good conversations with different doctors and endocrinologists that are like we'll get you in the right hormones.
And, you know, when my mom had hers out, there was no hormone replacement therapy.
And so it was, you know, straight into menopause and there was no egg freezing and IVF.
So I feel much less daunting than, I would have thought before my mastectomy, I was a mess.
I had panic attacks for four months straight.
It was awful.
Um, but I think just like perspective has changed a lot and it's, it's, I'm really been working on my like pre-anticipatory anxiety and what I can control.
And so um, don't look forward to it, but in the scheme of things, we'll get it done.
And yeah, wear matching pajamas.
Matching pajamas.
I will also say that when I was getting ready for my double mastectomy and I was so overwhelmed by the options and all the plastic surgery conversations
And I don't know if you remember this, but I was talking to you about it quite a bit.
And I had no idea, like with implants, what kind to get over the muscle, under the muscle, and i just like i didn't know where to turn.
And i had texted you and was like i'm trying to make these decisions and now i'm getting like choked up and i don't even know why.
Um, and do you remember what you did?
Sent you a nude selfie.
Yep.
You sent me a topless photo of yourself and you were just like, here we go.
And you were like, this is what mine look like.
And it was because I was Googling nonstop and I was like trying to find pictures.
Don't look at that.
Yeah.
No, there's no one that like it's.
You know, it's so many pictures of either much older women or like.
I was looking for something reassuring and you, without hesitation, sent me.
And I'm pretty sure miles was like there.
It was like, who are you sending?
I was like, I swear I've never sent these.
This is only for Allie.
There's a real reason for this year.
Well, I will never forget that.
And again, just like a testament to who you are you do so much to help people and to lift up the people around you.
Well, you've given so much advice just by way of talking about your own experience here, but there are so many people who are going to listen to this who, I think, want to chase big goals and do big things.
And the road is not linear now.
So what's a message that you would offer to the people who are maybe in like the lower parts of the ultimate upward trajectory, but they're like they're not where they want to be yet?
What do you say to them?
So I'd give, I'd give, like the emotional part, but also the more tactical, which is, you know emotionally, find people to train with.
Remember why you love it.
Like it does build and it will get there.
Also like give yourself grace.
Sometimes you just need a break.
Like.
I also think in a really like odd way, being pregnant helped me a lot because it forced me to take some time off.
Then tactically, like find help, you know, find a coach, eat.
Like I cannot underscore the importance of fueling.
That has been an absolute game changer for me, like day-to-day fueling, but also like find what works for you, like in practice and before and after.
And so like those little things do add up.
But mostly just like, listen to what your body is saying.
Like, are you in a low because, you know, things just haven't clicked yet?
And if that's the case, like keep at it.
Or is it because you're not having fun and you're exhausted?
And if that's the case, like take a few weeks off, enjoy the holidays, find your people and like get back at it next year.
But like really find where you are in that.
And if it's a time to push through, or if it's a time to like take a reset and get back, because you can like, There's always going to be there.
You can always get better, but you also do have to rest your body and rest your mind in order to get faster.
We always talk so much about running here obviously, and because I love talking to you about your insights and all of your takeaways
But one thing we almost never talk, we never talk about work.
Can you just talk about what you do for a living?
Yes.
Because you have a really cool job.
Thank you.
I love my work.
I run marketing at a company called Equip.
And we provide a virtual eating disorder treatment across all levels of acuity and care.
We're entirely virtual, but serve all diagnosis and ages and have a like a full care team covered by insurance.
So kind of like all those, all those value props, but it's an incredible place to work.
I mean I could talk at length about all the challenges with eating disorder treatment in the industry and the fragmentation of the landscape.
But it feels it's, hard work.
It's not easy subject matter, but I just.
There's so many people who struggle, you know, in different ways.
And we see a lot of adolescents and people who are struggling and you know lifelong implications from having eating disorders at a young age.
So it's, it's really awesome work in a really incredible team.
So I'm very, I'm very grateful to get to be a part of that.
And especially kind of like just what I've seen had friends struggle with, et cetera over the years.
It's a needed, I think, company out there.
It's an amazing company and you're doing amazing and important work.
So thank you for sharing that here.
And the last thing I'll say before I let you go, because it's date day.
What are you doing for date day?
You're in New York City right now.
You're there with your husband.
It's my understanding you're there because he had holiday company party things uh, so you're in new york city.
What's on tap for date day?
Uh, we're gonna go walk around, then go out to dinner.
Um, yesterday morning my sister and i met up and we got our second ear piercing.
Okay, that's adorable.
Yeah, we sent the text to judy and i was trying to convince lisa to also get a tattoo.
I do not have a tattoo, but she drew the line there.
Um, But it was.
It was really fun.
She picked me up at my hotel and we walked around and got our got our second year piercing.
So did it hurt?
Like, what does it feel like to get your ears pierced these days?
It did.
So in typical like Jenny fat.
So my sister's much more she's kind of like more private and like very, very strong, very tough.
And I've always been the more like dramatic, sensitive younger sister.
We go to get our ears pierced.
And I'm like, does it hurt?
And she's like, does it hurt?
And I'm like, okay.
Well, like and I start going into this long story about how like well, I've done IVF but I like, so I think I'm used to needles but like, I still kind of think that they hurt and I'm rambling.
And my sister's like, oh my God, Jenny, just like stop talking and get your ear pierced.
So long story short, like it, it was, more painful than I expected.
And of course, I was like the whole like dramatic saga about it.
And then I like went to get my sister's video and they were like, it's already done.
Like I was like, I thought you were cleaning it.
And she was like, no, they just they just pierced her.
Oh, she had like no, no, no reaction.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm classic over oversharing Jenny fashion.
And is Judy cool with this?
Like is Judy on board?
Any issue?
Yeah, it's actually our Christmas present.
Judy needed an idea for Christmas.
So It's getting our ears pierced.
We can't take them out for four months.
So she's going to wrap a little empty box.
Four months?
That's the rules to ear piercing?
I know.
Lisa's been sending me twice a day reminders to clean it, because we all know I will not remember to do that.
She is such the quintessential big sister, isn't she?
And are you listening to her reminders?
Are you doing it?
I got to do today's still.
Jenny!
I know.
Come on.
You can't let them get infected.
Okay.
After this, I'm going to go.
I'll do it while we walk around.
That'll be my accessory.
Perfect.
Well, I hope that you have the best date day and I hope that you truly never stop celebrating what you did this weekend in Sacramento, because you ran a 232 marathon.
Just in case you forgot over the past, you know, 68 minutes, you ran a 232.
Thank you.
Wild.
Wild.
It's wild.
I'm so happy for you.
I'm your number one fan.
You're the best and your family is the best.
And I am so glad we got to have this conversation.
I love I love this little tradition of, you know, recapping some of your big days here on the show.
So I know I have to keep running CIM so we can keep chatting.
You can run whatever.
Jenny, you can run like a local Santa Claus shuffle and I will have you here to recap it.
I learn so much every time we talk and I just love getting to see your face.
So thank you so much for doing this.
Congratulations, happy holidays and hope to get to hug you soon.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you so much for being here for this episode of the alley on the run show with my guest, jenny grimshaw.
Jenny, i know i said it a million times in this episode.
I love you so much.
Thank you for coming on and sharing so much about what has made this marathon build special, wonderful and really rewarding.
Thank you all for being here.
My newsletter is allyontherun.substack.com.
On Instagram, I am allyontherun1.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
Support Lagoon.
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And remember, you've got this.
You're doing great.
And thank you for joining me on the run.
