Welcome to the Allie on the Run show.
I'm your host, Allie Feller, and this is where I talk with people who are doing exciting things on the run and beyond.
From professional athletes and celebrity runners to the everyday amateur and back of the pack runner.
We are here to celebrate everyone and anyone who enjoys a life on the run.
Whether you are running towards something big or away from something that's been holding you back, I am here to hold your hand and help you pick up the pace.
I'm back today with another support squad episode.
As always, I know these episodes are not for everyone because they're not about running.
So if you come to the Allie on the Run show to hear about running, this one might not be your personal preference, and that's okay.
I'll be back next week with more run talk.
The Support Squad series.
This is something I started in the wake of a stage four breast cancer diagnosis earlier this year.
I'm so fortunate to have really exceptional friends and family members.
And we got into the habit of recording episodes together the morning after each round of chemotherapy. kind of a different take on the morning after.
My chemo buddies for round six and seven, they were local friends.
Shout out to Sarah and to Katie.
So we didn't have sleepovers, which meant we didn't record the morning after.
But now we're back.
Chemo round eight.
I'm recording this intro six days post-chemo, and I'm still not feeling 100%, not even close.
So it's probably been a while since I've truly been 100%.
Round eight was fine.
I went into it with a little cold.
You can probably hear that.
Unsurprisingly, the sniffles have stuck around longer than I'd like, considering my immune system is fighting for its life over here.
What I will remember most from chemo round eight is D Danielle D Mastronardi, my college roommate, my college best friend, a woman who has seen me at my very best, my very worst and so many moments in between.
Dee and I lived together through all four of our years at Quinnipiac University, including a semester abroad in Australia.
Dee lives in Rhode Island with her husband, with their daughter Pia, their dog Doc and a whole bunch of cats.
And it meant the world to me to get to have Dee here as my chemo round eight support squatter.
Squatter?
No, I don't think that works.
Please join me in welcoming Danielle Mastronardi to the Alley on the Run show.
All right.
I think this might be the guest on the Alley on the Run show that I have the most history with.
Other than my parents, they've made an appearance.
But Danielle D. Mastronardi, my college roommate.
Welcome to the Alley on the Run show.
I'm thrilled.
Thrilled to have you.
I am honored.
Thrilled.
Could cry right now.
Oh, I wonder if we'll cry.
We don't usually do that.
Not big criers.
Neither of us.
Well, I've held back a lot because I don't want to cry in front of you.
You can cry in front of me.
Well, no, I mean, I'm here to like be encouraging and helpful to you.
So I'm not going to cry.
I yesterday I got me a little bit.
Yeah.
Um, but I'm going to, I'm going to still like keep it in.
You don't have to.
I cry a lot.
Yeah.
Oh, I cry all the time.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, let's go.
Let's introduce you to everyone.
Okay.
Give us a bit of you know, we'll obviously talk about we met in college, but before that, just give us, like the, the Dean Mastronardi backstory.
Where'd you grow up?
Okay.
Sure.
What kind of kid were you?
Cranston, Rhode Island.
Rhode Island is about to become very popular with Bravo.
And so it'll be very interesting to see.
I think a funny thing about Rhode Island is the accents.
I don't think a lot of people know about that.
You don't really have one.
Well, I think it was our public speaking class at college.
We were not in the same public speaking.
We weren't in the same one because we don't think ever no, but I learned how crazy I sounded I mean, I shouldn't say that it wasn't crazy, but like I didn't understand my accent until I went to college and my public speaking teacher was like where are you from?
You were like an hour and a half away.
An hour and a half away.
Yeah.
But it's very, Rhode Island has like this like mix of Boston and New York type accent.
So Rhode Island's amazing.
Quirky.
If you haven't been, this is just a plug for Rhode Island in general.
If you haven't been there, it's incredible.
It's beautiful and gorgeous.
And so please visit.
So I grew up in Rhode Island, went to school with obviously with Al.
Oh, college.
Yeah.
We got to, we got to talk about that.
Let me clarify this.
Yeah.
Oh, I, am I the first person that called you Al?
My brother called me Al growing up.
Okay.
All right.
Yes.
And now the only people who call me Al, it's like, and I don't ever tell people what to call me.
I don't care what people like.
People always ask me, do you prefer Ali or Allison?
I'm like, I don't care.
And people want you to give them an answer.
Right.
So I think I make it worse by being like, I don't care.
Yeah.
Well, you just did that with me.
Do you want to be dear Danielle?
I did do that right before we started.
And I was like, I don't care.
Well, yeah.
So the people who call me Al now are you and Dr. Rosencrantz.
So it's like so special.
Yeah.
To be called Al.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No people.
Well, we'll get to this.
People in college, I feel like mostly call me Feller.
Feller.
But you are the reason that I am Allie on the run.
Yeah.
You're the reason that I'm Allie.
So I just learned that.
I cannot believe you don't remember that.
Okay.
Let's do, let's go to college and how we met.
Yeah.
Because we met at the start of the second semester freshman year because I transferred rooms.
Right.
My situation with my first roommates did not work out for me.
And then I got assigned to a new room that had a vacancy.
So thank you to my that girl that wasn't a good fit for.
Also, let's clarify to everybody we were in quads.
There were people, four 18 year old girls in a square, 300 square foot space tiny tiny, you know lofted bed, a little closet thing, and a desk underneath the bed right and a futon in the middle.
Obviously futon.
Yeah phooey, we called it.
Yeah, you called it.
I never once called it the phooey, but you did.
So one day over winter break, you were already on campus because you were just so active.
Student government, student programming board.
Like if there was a group where you had to wear a blazer to the meetings and a pencil skirt, you were in it.
Yeah.
I was like, sign me up.
I want to be, I like, I want to feel important.
I want to run this place.
Yeah.
Like I love college so much.
You loved college so much.
I mean, we all did, but you really loved college.
Yeah.
And so I get assigned to your room.
What do you remember?
Were you like, who is this chick?
Um no, I think I just was like we just, you know, we I think both of us had like, had terrible experiences.
Like the first, I mean, it wasn't terrible.
It just was not great for me.
Right.
Thank God.
And anyways, I was like, whatever.
Great.
We're going to get a new roommate.
I'm excited about it.
I was there early for student government.
And I'll never forget you walking down the hallway.
And I was like, great.
Hi.
And didn't I like kind of leave quickly?
Cause I was like, I have something, I have to go do something.
And I came back and my first memory is of me sitting at my desk watching your dad diligently tie up all of your cables perfectly like the cleanest setup i've ever seen, and which i do it now.
I'm like i learned this from your father, david fellers and papa fell is one of my favorite people in the entire world and um, that was my first.
I was like what is happening in this space right now and i'm so excited and we just Immediately
We just clicked immediately because your side of the room my first impression is all over your like chest of drawers whatever that thing was called was covered in like little motivational notes to yourself that you had written in different colored markers with your beautiful handwriting.
And I was like give me the one who makes lists with good handwriting, like she's my new best.
We were simpatico two peas in a quad yeah, two peas in a quad.
We should put that on t-shirts.
Yeah, i love that uh um, and then okay, so then our first night on campus, there we go.
We were just immediately like let's go.
Let's go find people and have a good time.
I'm not this fun.
Yes, you are.
No.
You bring out the fun in me, I think.
You truly do.
We were silly.
We were silly fun.
And so we decided... that we were going to find Steve.
Like we created some story.
Steve is not a person.
He was not a real person.
We created this person that we were like, we need to find Steve.
So we spent the rest of the night roaming around campus, which was like half open, right?
Yeah.
Cause it was early.
It was early.
And we searched for Steve.
We would just run around.
I think that was like a really smart way for us to meet guys.
Did we meet guys?
No, we were just interested.
We didn't care either.
We were interested in each other.
We weren't interested in anything.
It was a fast friendship yeah, yep and so.
But we met a Steve.
We found a Steve.
Yeah, we were just running around going Steve, has anyone seen Steve?
And at one point they were like, oh him yeah, and we were like yes, you're exactly who we have a picture with Steve.
Yeah we, Steve out there we, we found you.
We later found more Steve's.
Well, we each dated a Steve, Yikes.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You win some, you lose some.
I've lost them all.
My track record.
Yeah, well, you know, let's kiss a lot of frogs.
So many frogs.
So, yeah, we hit it off immediately.
And then for each year in college, we were roommates forever from then on because we lived together.
Yep.
Sophomore year, we were in a room with nine girls.
Nine.
But there were individual rooms.
We were together.
Mountain View 320A.
320A.
That was my favorite room of the years.
Yes, I think sophomore year.
We thrived.
We had a great room, a great setup, great group, except the remote control went missing at some point.
Do you want to go ahead?
I'm just gonna say it yeah, throw me under the bus, I'm gonna clear my name.
Yeah, you got a couple things.
You gotta clear my name here yep, um.
So first I will say there was a point where Allie blamed me.
I don't even think you you, You were passive-aggressively angry at me.
Yeah.
Well, it was your TV.
It was my TV.
Thus, your responsibility.
Yep.
No, was it?
Yeah, it had a built-in VCR.
And the remote control went missing at some point.
And I need to fall asleep to TV every night.
So I would put on Almost Famous every night.
And she was asleep right before the Tiny Dancer scene every time.
And I would just lay there in my lofted twin bed watching the same scene over and over.
She was so mad.
And she'd be like, you bitch, you've lost the remote control.
And we can never, I would have to crawl over to be able to shut it off, but then I wouldn't.
So you know.
So, lo and behold, we move out in May.
And where's the remote?
On the bottom of Allie's hamper, underneath the comforter that she had just stored in this hamper for months and months and months.
Is that true?
Yeah, because that's my thing is.
I'm like if it was at the bottom of my hamper.
I did laundry sophomore years when I learned how to do laundry yeah, but I think you just kept putting everything on top of the comforter.
I think you put it there to frame me for this story in this moment, right now.
Why would I not?
Why would I want to like haven't thought it through the the exercise of having to like manually shut the tv off.
Why would I ever want to do that?
Maybe you were mad at me and you wanted to torture me.
No,
Okay, good.
That's just, I would never want to torture you.
Well, I'm sorry.
I had to remote the entire time.
Yep.
My bad.
I am sorry.
I built a bridge a long time ago, but I just wanted to say it again anyways to make you smile.
It had to be my fault in the end. because I, how would I have handled if you eventually found it?
I would have gloated in my head.
I would have been like, I was right.
We both really like to be right.
Let's be honest.
Yeah.
So I'm sorry.
Second, I just want to clarify from a previous podcast that I never once have stolen a sex in the city DVD.
You did own them all.
And so did our roommate, Loan.
Her name is Lauren.
We call her Loan.
L1.
L1.
She had them all as well.
So did Dana.
Dana had them too.
Because Dana labeled all of hers S-A-T-S.
Yes.
Sats.
And we were like, that's not how you spell sex in the city.
And we got a good laugh out of that.
God, we were all just idiots. nice to each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I just want the world to know that I didn't steal.
On a previous episode, I made a comment as a joke and I forget it was just like in passing.
And I was like you know, D Mastronardi stealing my and as soon as I said I was like D didn't steal my CDs, my DVDs, but like who cares.
No one's going to hear this.
And then D gets a message one day from a coworker.
D are you D Mastronardi?
Cause I rebranded myself.
Yep.
I'm Danielle in professional life now.
She didn't know.
But she was like, you stole Allie Feller.
Allie on the run.
Do you know Allie on the run?
Do you know what she's been through?
How dare you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm glad it's just cleared your name.
You never feel anything.
But then I admit it to you that the only thing I actually ever like stole.
I didn't steal it from you.
I just borrowed.
Borrowed on the sly is your tweezers because Allie always had really good tweezers.
Yeah.
Well, got to tame this face.
Also, the reason that I am Allie, we didn't explain.
So I roll up to this new hallway and they were the hallway commons first floor was.
They were all tight.
Like from room to room, it wasn't just the four girls in each quad.
It was like, you were all friends, which was really cool.
It was a really fun hallway.
And so I get there and day one before we met Steve, you're like we already have an Allison in this hallway.
So what's the plan?
Right.
And I was like, well, she spells it with two L's.
So she's Allison and I'm Allison.
And you were like, that's not going to work.
And you were like, you're Allie now.
And we're going to call you Allie.
Like you assigned me.
Allie.
And I've been Allie ever since.
It was going to happen regardless because for, it's like a Rhode Island thing.
We had two of everyone in that hallway.
We had two Danielle's and then you were D, two Allison's.
So I became Allie, two Lauren's.
So we called them L1 and L2.
Yeah.
It was efficient.
It was effective.
But you are the reason that I, like I never would have been.
This would have been Allison on the run.
Hard to say.
Allison on there.
I mean, it flows.
I hate it.
But Allie on the run is way better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're the reason I'm Allie.
So we had a great, great college experience.
We studied abroad together in Australia.
We went to Australia.
Made all of our best life choices.
Yes.
I mean, incredible.
Like how we were.
I mean, we're so lucky.
We are so lucky.
So lucky.
Oh, hold on.
I just want to also clarify that when we were in Australia we it's still you know, there's cultural differences.
So I think we missed home a lot.
And we would go to the library and rent Sex in the City DVDs.
And watch them on our computers.
And because we just, like, really were, like, craving some, you know, stuff from home.
And so there was a point where Allie and I decided that like why you know, we're not like bringing guys back to our room.
So, like, why don't we? unsuccessfully um uh and we just pushed our twin beds together what like a month in oh if that we pushed those beds together pretty immediately yeah so that we could sleep in a big bed almost four months we just slept in what we called the big bed by choice yeah yep for the whole time yeah people loved it people loved coming to our room everyone knew about the big bed uh-huh yeah yeah um okay this morning you among the many things that you've done for me since you've been up here for chemo round eight um you made pancakes and i do think you need to tell everyone tell the story why you made pancakes for breakfast um because this is our claim to fame this is absolutely the claim to fame so when we're in australia the australians are very good at partying like tuesday was their day that they were like this is the day we go out and so um al and i just like You know, one day we were like, I don't even know where the idea came from, but we were like, there's going to be a day before we leave that we stay up all night.
We're going to party all night long.
Not with anybody else.
Just me and you.
It was always just me and you with these stupid ideas.
So we. go, you know, we go out and we're like, we're staying up.
We did it.
And I think everyone went out.
I think that was the night of Declan, the Irish guy that we met him.
Love an accent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then everyone slowly started calling it a night and we were like, we're, we're doing this.
So I don't know.
What was it?
Like five 30 ish.
We were like, all right, it's probably time to go home now, but first we have to stop at pancakes in paradise, which was this like restaurant, and we were at bond university on the gold coast.
It's surfers paradise.
I looked it up the other day.
Does pancakes in paradise still?
It still exists?
Hell yeah, it should.
It's awesome.
You sit in hot air balloons and eat not real ones they're like not real ones, but you know, you know whatever.
It's adorable, but we did it.
We made it to 6 am, we went and got pancakes and We went back to campus.
And all of our guy friends were packing up to go golfing for the day.
And we were like, look at us, bitches.
Can I swear on this?
Look at us, bitches.
We made it.
We did it.
And they were so impressed with us.
And then we were like fine to go out again the next night.
Yeah, we were totally fine.
Because we were 20.
20 years old.
Amazing.
We had a great time.
The best time.
We traveled.
We went all over.
It was awesome.
Minus, for what was his name that stole my binky?
Um, i want to say trevor, but it's not trevor, it's something.
He was like a surfer bro.
We went.
He didn't steal.
Jesus christ, go ahead.
You lost, held it your childhood blanket.
Well, and also, let me just say yes.
Yes.
Did I bring my my binky, my blanket from when I was a baby to Australia?
Yes, I did.
And then did you bring it on?
And then I brought it on an overnight camping trip.
Yes, I did.
Yeah.
Which is so stupid in hindsight.
Yeah.
And so I left it in the tent and we called him.
I don't know how we tracked him back down and then what?
A week before we left, he came and brought it back to me.
Wait really yeah, it was like oh, I thought we got it like the next day, oh no, it was weeks.
Well, because he was like are you talking about this scrappy little tissue?
Yes, he thought.
He thought yeah, I thought it was.
He literally pulled it out of his glove compartment and was like I thought this was trash.
I was like I kept it in my glove compartment okay, anyways.
So whatever, that was the worst part of Australia for you, I know.
Oh, sorry.
Let's, yeah.
I mean, actually this is relevant.
This is very relevant.
Here we go.
Um, I think that I will say like, ever since I've known Al, she's always had Crohn's and it's always sucked for her.
And I've always felt very deeply for you and just always want to take it all away from you.
And I think I didn't experience it Really?
You had to share a bathroom with me all those years.
How's that?
Fine.
It was fine.
But Australia, I think, was like really the first time that I was like, oh, this is bad.
I think in the beginning I was like, oh, you just go to the bathroom a lot.
OK, whatever.
How can I help you?
But Australia was bad.
I remember the night before I went to the hospital being just laying in my bed, being in so much pain.
And I remember Chris and who was his friend, really tall guy. from sleepy hollow New York.
Oh no, I feel bad that I forget his name, but they were like super nice.
We were good friends with them.
And I remember them coming to our room to like hang out with us and just being in like my stomach was bloated.
And I was like, something's wrong.
Like it feels like there's a blockage or something.
Right.
And the next day I went to the hospital.
I think I went to like the doctor on campus and they're like, you need to go to the hospital.
And I was like, how do I go to a hospital in Australia?
International.
We had no idea what we were doing, but we went, we just got in a cab.
Didn't we go to two?
Didn't we go to a different hospital first?
And they like wouldn't see me because of insurance or something.
Yes.
So then we went to Pandora hospital, Pandora hospital, that place.
And I got admitted to the hospital in Australia.
And I was there for several days.
And you would come visit me.
Yeah.
Every day I would come and visit.
And it was so scary.
It was so scary.
And I was chatting with your parents over.
Which I just learned yesterday.
Instant messenger. because this was 2005 and FaceTime didn't exist.
FaceTime.
We didn't have cell phones.
We had calling cards.
Yep.
We were calling 12 hour time difference or whatever.
Yep.
12 hours.
And it's communicating with your parents who are terrified.
Imagine being a parent now.
I mean, now that we're kids, we have kids, right?
Imagine having your kid on the other side of the world admitted to a hospital.
I meant to actually ask your parents that.
What that was like for them?
How that felt for them.
Because how they didn't get on a plane and fly to Australia.
I mean, I would have... I would have gotten on a plane.
If Pia ever, you know, I'd be like, coming, you know?
But, I mean, maybe I comforted them enough.
I was going to say.
Well, I mean, my parents are obsessed with you and love you so much and have always loved you as
They're the best.
One of their own.
I know.
But yeah, you've taken care of me a lot over the years.
And it was so scary being there.
So scary.
And you showed up every day and you would tell me stories from the day and about all the things that I missed.
Right.
But then, the first weekend that we were back, this was not my proudest moment here.
Because I was like, you're fine.
You're out of the hospital.
Let's go home.
And you also were like, let's, yeah.
Yeah, I feel great.
FOMO.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I'm okay.
And I drank a little too much.
That was when that was?
The night of the bathroom floor?
Oh, yeah.
Was my first night back out?
Yes.
Because you really weren't drinking.
Yeah, I wore the orange tank top.
You were smart.
You were like I'm going to be responsible and not drink, but I still want to go out with my friends.
Good for me.
And I was like, oh, I'll drink all your alcohol for you.
No worries.
Perfect.
And so I went in the bathroom and got sick.
And I was sitting on a bathroom floor.
Things you do when you're 20.
Sitting on a bathroom floor.
The bouncer is banging on the door being like, you got to go.
If you're getting sick, you have to leave.
And Allie is yelling through the door.
She's fine.
She's just tired.
Yeah, fight for your right to party.
You saved me.
Yeah, you were protecting me.
You had just done so much for me.
I knew.
I was like she is gonna be fine, she's 20, she will.
She's gonna boot and rally several more times.
Yeah, this is not an issue.
Yeah, i don't think i ever did that.
I think we ended up going home, Right.
No, we stayed out.
We stayed out.
A hundred percent.
We stayed out.
We went to shooters for girls night.
I'm certain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, we've kind of always been there for each other.
Yeah.
And then we, we went back after Australia and, Mm-hmm.
Junior year, senior year, we lived in a house together.
Yep.
Senior year, we were thriving.
Thriving.
Like, you were running the school, basically.
No.
You were doing your rack week.
You were running the school.
Allie was the editor-in-chief of, oh, no, Dana was.
No, Dana was the editor-in-chief.
I'm sorry.
I was the features editor.
Features editor.
Yeah.
You were captain of the kick line.
Hell, yeah.
What else were you doing?
We were, we would be, we had kick line practices from 9 to 11 at night.
Yes.
Yes.
And then we would come back and change and go out.
Amazing.
I mean, people had classes until 9 p.m.
Like, those three-hour classes were from 6 to 9.
Yes.
And then we would go out.
Like, how did we just survive this?
Because we were living the best life.
We were having... We were... like we were doing good in school.
We were super active.
We had great friends.
Our teachers liked us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The administration was a fan.
Yeah.
You knew all those administrators.
Shout out to Quinnipiac University, you know, like just a great, it's stunning.
If you don't know Quinnipiac, take a quick stroll down Google.
It's gorgeous.
And the Administration was incredible.
Yeah, I got in no trouble when I got those boys to drive a car on the quad for my video production class.
You should show clips of that.
I still have it.
It's incredible.
Of course you do.
Yeah, I have everything.
Allie is the most organized...
I don't want to use the word... Memory keeper?
Memory keeper.
Memory keeper.
We won't use the other word.
I have large portions of my brain that are stored for useless college memories.
It's amazing.
It's good because we also always joke that Allie is an elephant and I am a goldfish, because I remember nothing.
How many times this weekend or over the last couple of days have you said, remember when?
And there was a point where I just looked at her and was like, stop asking me, remember when?
I don't.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I...
You remember random stuff though.
Yeah.
You remember Dan Baxter's name?
Nothing important.
I couldn't remember that guy's name.
Dan Baxter's important and you remember his important.
Yeah.
So yeah, we had, we had a great experience.
We were always very close.
I mean, if we and I have all your little notes, like if we were going to miss each other in passing, we would leave each other little love notes.
I know um, we would have been a great couple and it's too bad.
Neither of us were into that.
No, but we did remember.
We promised each other in australia we did.
We made a pact that if neither of us were married by 2035, then we would just live together.
I think yeah, i think it was like we'd be just be together.
So how does it work out now?
Because i'm not married, i mean, i would be more than happy, like kurt would be more than happy, to have you also, like pia and annie together, like they'd be buddies, amazing.
You know.
Like yeah, great.
Do you want to talk about an ode to David Feller accosting your husband at my wedding?
I would love to.
Yeah.
My father passed away from leukemia in 2012.
And Allie was there for all of it, helping me.
And she knew how important my dad was to me um, because she has an amazing dad too, and papa fell also knew how like incredible my dad was and um, so we were at ali's wedding.
And what was that?
2013 2015, everyone had been over served yes, And so your dad had never met Kurt, right?
Kurt is Dee's now husband.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right.
He had never met him.
And so you know, your dad, just like always took care of me like I was one of his own, which is just like so special for me.
Right.
To feel that fatherly love when you don't really have it so much anymore.
Right.
And your dad clearly over-served, but like clearly had been thinking about this for a long time.
Did a cost Kurt at the bar and was like stop, we're not doing anything else until you and I have a conversation.
And he basically went on to say, like, tell me how you're going to take care of her.
And in, like I mean, I don't remember I guess I don't remember like the full conversation, but he was just like you need, you need to promise me that you're always going to take care of this girl because she's important.
She's special.
And I love her so much.
And Kurt was like, who are you?
And it was so special.
And I sat back and cried because, you know, like my dad would have done exactly the same thing also at the bar after being over served yeah yeah like it was amazing and your dad has like you know I like obviously I don't get to see him as often as I want to but like every single time I see your dad it's it's like a little piece of my dad yeah yeah your dad is so special yeah yeah yeah I mean your whole family is so special but lovers it's like how lucky am I you know yeah we also really built that in college I feel like we came out of college having I don't want to be like having been through a lot like at that point we really hadn't but like anytime you live with people at such a like you bond in really incredible ways yeah like we still are those stereotypical people who get together and like reminisce for hours into the night.
Like we did not sleep enough this week because we've just been like too excited to get to see each other and catch up, which has been and I say this every time I do these episodes but like, if we are to find which I do think is important to do, like I'm never going to be, like I'm glad that I have cancer because it brought me this, that I'm not glad.
Like no, there there are plenty of ways to forge meaningful connections without needing to go to chemo for them.
Yes.
Um, and, having friends come up for these chemo visits.
Like I have been legitimately so excited for this one because I, like I never I'm never going to ask anyone to come to chemo with me.
Right.
Like we have a like small group of people who know all of the dates and can say like yeah, I can go to that one.
I'm, I would never ever would have been like, Hey D, can you come to chemo?
Never.
I would never ask.
No.
But instead we have this little system where people, if it works for them and I never want anyone to feel like it's an obligation to um and one thing i like to talk about is like the different ways of showing up and helping showing up doesn't mean going to chemo like it can obviously um but showing up can look all kinds of different ways um but as soon as i got the email and it was like who's available on each date and it was like d i was like yeah that one that's i choose my choice i choose my choice i mean but also like um I've been harassing you too I think to be like when can I come up when can I come up and you know you're you're never gonna you're never gonna be like yes I need help never I mean and I'm also the same way so I'm not judging you by any means because it's like no I'm a strong independent woman and I can take care of stuff myself you don't want to ask for help from anybody but like I am so honored that you were like yes please come up like I have been like itching to get up here as quickly as possible so it's been a great couple days yeah I mean like the chemo sucks but like the chemo sucks but that but that's not what I'll remember most about these couple days good like you know chemo was was chemo and we'll talk about what the day was like but no like the second that you pulled in my dress and I was like so excited all day because we haven't seen each other for a year we saw each other last October at Comrie's wedding And every time we do see each other, it's like we don't get to just like sit on the couch and like, yeah, we put sex in the city on girls and like, you know, families and stuff going on in our lives.
And, you know, like it's it's really hard sometimes to prioritize things.
But I think, like when you go through really tough situations in your life, you know it like jolts you a little bit and like makes you like turn around and say like okay, that's stuff that I need to make sure I'm doing.
You know so been through that stuff too, and you know so I understand and like uniquely, in a unique way I think, to like how important it is to be able to provide support when people need it.
You know, because I've gotten a lot of my own type of support for my own stuff too.
So like it, you know, like I'm sure you're like I'm not like I don't need anybody else helping me, but like doesn't it feel really good to like help other people?
Yeah, you know, it feels good to be on both ends.
Like totally.
And I always, especially over the past two and a half years, like one thing that weighs on me a ton.
And I know I mentioned this even yesterday is like, I'm not reciprocating like every time.
And I don't mean like amazing internet community, but every time someone in my life, like in my real life, that I see or have a personal relationship with, anytime someone says something about like well Allie, you show up for your you know, you continue to show up for your people.
I'm like, what are you, what evidence do you have to prove that?
Like I have done nothing for anyone in the past two and a half years because I've been so consumed with all my shit.
Look at all your shit.
Look at all your shit.
Like I feel, and that weighs on me.
And I do.
I'm like when will I be at a point where I can finally like reciprocate this for people I?
But I like, would like to throw this back at you, that like, how do you not think that this this, these conversations aren't an example of you giving back?
No, but I mean like when one of my friends is going through a hard time, like I don't show up at their house the next day with meals, or like you know, like I feel like I'm not showing up in all the ways that I wish I could.
Maybe right now you can't yeah, but things will change, you know.
I'll give you guys a very like real example.
My brother passed away two years ago and you called me right away.
As soon as you found out.
You called, I remember where I was and we had his celebration of life.
And who shows up in bright pink pants?
I always remember you.
I mean, you told everyone to wear fun clothes.
I did not show up to it like a somber event.
No, no, no.
This was a very specific request on my end that everybody wears very happy colors, because John would not want anybody showing up in black.
And you showed up.
Yeah.
You drove two and a half hours and you came and you like, interacted with whomever, but and what did i talk to you for five minutes, maybe you showed up.
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I think it's probably hard for you to see how you help people, but you help people every day.
You help people with this podcast.
You help people with your newsletter.
You help your daughter every day.
You help your family.
You need to... Here we go.
Hit me with a classic DMastro Nardi lecture.
I can take it.
I just want you to be kinder to yourself.
Okay.
Well, you know I'm not going to do that.
Well, I'm asking you to.
Okay.
Because... I'll consider it.
You're an incredible person, and you've changed my life.
My college experience... would be nothing that it was if you hadn't moved into my room.
Commons 183.
Yeah.
Like who would your, who would your best friend have been in college?
You had a lot to choose from, but it wouldn't have been me.
It would've been sad for both of us.
Right.
God, we were good.
We were great.
Just hit it off immediately.
And then we fall right back into all of our old you know.
So I'm just saying you know, like I think you need to.
It weighs on me.
You need to be kinder to yourself and you need to give yourself some grace and And I'm saying that.
Yeah.
As somebody whom has gone through a lot in the last couple of years, where I have literally been in the same your same shoes, where you're like, all these people are helping me and I have zero strength or thought like I am a selfish person.
Like I don't have the ability to to be nice to other people right now because I am going through my own shit and and and you're, so it's going to cycle.
I've gone into like such a and I don't spend a lot of time in this mindset, but like and of course most of it is if I'm scrolling online and I'm like okay, just stop doing that.
But like where, I've been so like, it's not the suffering Olympics.
Everyone has their shit, right?
Like I hate the idea that the people in my life, like my loved ones, are afraid to talk to me about what's going on in their life.
And everyone does it of like, I mean, it's not like what you're going through.
And I'm just like, don't, you don't have to do that.
Like, yeah, I have stage four cancer.
That sucks.
Um, and doing with that while going through a not easy divorce.
Like yeah I, yeah my life has kind of sucked in a lot of ways, but I never want the people I care about to feel like they can't talk to me, because do you know how much I welcome getting to listen and getting to hear about other people's shit?
Because you know, I live in a world where I think everyone has a perfect life.
Yes.
I think everyone is happy, healthy, wealthy.
Like I think everyone's living the dream all the time.
And I know that's not true.
Which is wildly false.
And I know that.
But like I still go through life with that belief somehow.
It's easy to fall into that pattern when you're going through a really shitty time.
It's easy to look and compare and say everybody else is happy.
Look at all of the amazing things as I'm scrolling.
Because no one's putting the shitty stuff out there.
You know, I mean, not a lot of people.
You're good.
I mean, I do.
Yeah.
You know, like I think like when I put out stuff about my dad, about John, you know, like.
I go back and forth in my head all the time.
Like I'm going to make this like a positive post because I don't want people to think I'm suffering, and like I'm strong.
I'm the strong person.
I compare myself a lot to these people whom have lost loved ones and then have gone on to do these beautiful, amazing things.
Like I started this charity and we built this playground and whatever.
And I'm like, what the f***, Danielle?
Like you can't muster the courage to like be more productive with your time.
Let's build a playground.
Do you know?
I mean, sure, we can.
But like, that's not my point.
My point is like you have to be kinder to yourself and you have to give yourself some, like a lot more grace, because you're an incredible person.
And like, I don't it's hard for me to accept that you don't. accept like how impactful you are I mean you standing putting medals around people's necks at the end of the race like people have just run a marathon and and you're getting to put that medal do you know how much that means to people like these are things I know that you don't think of but I see every day and I see you do every day and it's incredible and I wish that you would just like acknowledge it a little bit more for yourself.
Yeah.
I don't process.
You deserve it anymore.
You deserve it.
I don't process the hard stuff.
I don't sit with the good, like after the New York city marathon this year, which was like such a good weekend.
I came right back, went to chemo and was just right back in the thick of it.
I mean, that was, that was, that was, that was terrible timing.
Yeah.
Chemo is so inconvenient.
There's never a good time.
Cancer, but make it fun.
Okay.
So let's talk about the last couple of days and thank you for saying all those nice things.
We've really graduated from the previous speeches of Al.
Patience is a virtue.
Patience is a virtue.
I've gotten better.
I've actually gotten better at that one.
I'm, Learn my own, you know, try to take my own advice as well.
You know, I'm like literally the pot calling the kettle black.
But easier said than done, right?
Yeah.
We're here together.
Uh-huh.
All right.
So you were coming up from Rhode Island for chemo round eight.
You've mentioned Pia, your daughter, who's just so incredible.
Can you talk a little bit about?
I always think it's important to talk about what the support squad has to do to make this possible.
What did your village have to do in order for you to be able to spend a couple of days up here in New Hampshire?
Like, what did that look like?
I am so lucky that I have The best guy in the whole world.
My husband Kurt.
Ever since the option or the possibility of coming up to CU has come up, he is actually the one that's like when are you going up and what do you?
What do we need to do?
Like what you go whenever you need to go, just go.
Like so it's never.
I've never felt like it's been in a challenge.
There's never like, oh like, will this work?
Kurt has he was ready undoubtedly been the person being like go, go be with your friends.
My friends are my most important asset in my life and i will do whatever i need to do.
Like You show up for people in a lot of different ways.
I'll do what you need me to do.
You know?
Good, bad, ugly.
I'm here.
I'm also Italian.
I have a lot of anger in my body.
You know?
So... She talks with her hands a lot.
And the fact that you're like sitting on your hand right now.
I am sitting on my hand because Al told me that I have to keep the microphone close to my mouth.
Okay.
So um well, I obviously wanted to make this special for you.
So um, you know, I kind of thought back on, like some of our best things.
I did see some people.
I don't know if you scrolled through the comments from your post, your post yesterday, but there's some Australians that follow you.
Whoa, I haven't looked, I haven't been, I haven't been back on my phone because I fell asleep so hard last night.
No, i haven't read any of the comments yet.
They are so thrilled that we did tim tam slams.
Oh, like people that wait, actually like australians, or people that we went to australia with australians and they approve of us doing tim tam slams.
Hell yeah, i think so.
I please respond.
Um, you know, I, they seemed excited.
So Allie and I learned how to do Tim Tam slams.
Um, really quick.
For if you don't know what it is which most of you probably don't, but you get hot chocolate, you bite the ends off of this Australian cookie and then you suck through.
You put the cookie in the hot chocolate and you kind of suck through and then you throw it in your mouth and it's like melty, just the best.
Awesome.
So I got those, we did that.
Um, Al loves a box of Velveeta.
Used to love.
Used to.
My body just can't do it anymore.
Well, it's here.
I know.
We also love to eat in college.
Yeah.
We've never... You've never posted any of those photos, have you?
Right?
I don't have any.
Maybe we can.
I do.
But we love to eat, particularly quesadillas from the Rat Scalar that we lovingly call the rat on campus.
It was like one of the little... eateries cafe yeah places yeah so i made us quesadillas from the rat um they were so good this morning we ate pancakes in paradise yep uh also in australia we decided that oreos were we were going to rename them to o's so we ate some o's yeah I think that was it.
Right.
Night one, you got here and we immediately put on sweatpants, matching jammies that you bought us.
I bought us jammies.
Yep.
Yep.
And we sat on the couch and looked at all your old scrapbooks that you made.
I brought all.
Yep.
I was very awesome.
I was awesome.
And I did scrapbooks.
Yep.
So we did that.
You had me in such a good headspace on Monday night.
Good.
Because I tend to go, like usually, like Monday, during the day I'm just like getting stuff done, doing my thing.
And then by Monday night I usually start to shift into, and this did happen once we like went up to bed of.
I started to be like like I have chemo tomorrow.
I'm like, I'm not just here to hang out with my friend, which is all I want to do.
Like I'm so happy right now.
And then it's like, but we're here to do a thing.
And like, I need to get my stuff and set my alarm.
And like, so I did by Monday night, I started to be a little like, okay, Tomorrow's a chemo day.
And the last round of chemo was so hard on me.
I got really sick.
I threw up a bunch from one of the premeds they give you.
And I have not really fully recovered from that.
Like this whole round was pretty rough.
Um, and I, I kept smells are so triggering to me now.
And so I yeah.
For the entirety of the past three weeks I have felt like I could throw up on a dime, and it doesn't mean I'm like nauseous all the time, but I'll smell something and it'll just bring me back to getting sick.
And so I knew that, even with all my like, positive self-talk and saying like and I'm not getting that met anymore.
Like they put in my file like can't tolerate, which also I felt like a little bitch for that of like look at all these people in this cancer center getting this medication.
And I'm the little like.
Energetic 40 year old who can't tolerate it.
Come on.
Suck it up.
As if you're the only person that can't tolerate that medication.
I did ask Kaylee yesterday.
I was like, do people throw up a lot?
She's like, yeah.
Yes.
Or there's other medications that you can tolerate and the other people can't tolerate.
Yeah, I know.
I felt weak.
Stop comparing.
Yeah.
So, yeah, but I mean, we ate chocolate cream pies on Monday night.
Of course, that's like a pre-chemo tradition now.
We watched Sex and the City, the LA episodes.
Yep.
That's bullshit, Carrie, and you know it.
Love it.
And then...
You're always so good at that.
Like you're good at Matthew McConaughey in that episode.
Thank you.
But I love you.
I love you.
Only question is, what the f*** is Carrie's problem?
I'm Mr. Big.
I don't know anybody cooler than Mr. Big.
Man.
Man.
Woman.
Walk the earth.
What?
We either just gained fans or lost people.
Sorry.
So OK, heading into chemo.
You know, like you said, like you've been through this to some extent, had been through this with your dad, like you're not a stranger.
You've been to hospitals with me.
This is not totally unfamiliar territory, but.
I'm curious of any expectations versus reality.
Was the day what you expected it to be?
Were there surprises on your end?
From the supporter's perspective, what are some key things that you noticed or felt or might be helpful for people to hear about if they're in the supporter role?
Oh um, I mean, like you mentioned, I've did this, you know, I've gone through this, so it wasn't like I was a newbie um, you know uh, like nervous or whatnot.
I, I was confident that I could help you do whatever you needed you know um Because also, I think we're that comfortable with one another too.
Also, like you don't feel self-conscious about telling me what's happening with your body.
And that makes me happy, you know, that you're like, okay, I have to go to the bathroom or whatever.
And I mean, also worth noting that I have a guest room in my house now.
Where did we sleep?
Oh, we slept in the big bed.
Of course.
Yeah.
When I texted you like a couple of days ago and I was like, you know, plenty of room here.
Like you have your choice.
And I'm like, she's going to say she wants to stay in my bed, right?
Like we're going to have a sleepover.
Yeah.
It's like you needed to check for some reason.
I just wanted to be, I wanted to respect any potential boundaries you had.
Okay.
From all the boundaries that we've had.
Well, I didn't used to respect your boundaries.
Oh man.
Um, can we parking lot?
We need to end this, if possible, maybe on like the best night of our, one of the best nights of our lives, remember?
I am so afraid of which one you're thinking of right now, and I hope it's not the one night in New York, the New York, but we're not talking about that.
Uh, we can censor it no okay um anyways um okay wait, what's the best night?
The night in New York?
That's what you were just gonna talk about.
Yeah, What part of that is appropriate to share?
I always end it.
I always end it before we go home with them.
We didn't go home with anyone.
You came back to my apartment.
Right.
In the morning.
Right.
Okay.
Go ahead.
You're going to edit this?
I don't know.
Probably not.
Anyways.
Let's... Actually, I wanted to parking lot that because it was just... I don't know what that means.
A funny story.
You say parking lot and you keep touching your nose.
That means to like leave it for later.
Parking lot.
Put it in the parking lot.
Okay.
It's business speak for you.
Okay.
Let's circle back.
We'll circle back.
Okay.
I just want to go back to being supportive for you.
I think making sure you needed everything you needed, right?
You had everything you needed.
We got there.
I sensed that you felt...
Anxious.
I wasn't hiding that.
I think, living together for so long, you know there's no surprises, you know like we have grown up, but you haven't changed.
You know that sounded like an insult.
No, you know, I've grown up, but you haven't changed.
You know what I mean?
In that way of like, I'm still me.
You're you're you.
Um, we did talk to um our roommate loan which I I my whole goal was to just lighten the load for you.
Yeah.
I just wanted to lighten the load.
I know you, I knew you were in your head.
I mean, I also asked you very explicitly many times, what are you thinking?
How are you feeling?
Yeah.
I remember you asked me that at one point of like, what's going on in your brain right now?
Right.
Because like, which I loved.
Yeah.
Cause like sometimes you just also just need to get it out.
Yeah.
Cause otherwise like I, like I'll spin out and I know you do too, you know?
Like, so if sometimes it's better to just verbalize it.
So I wanted to make sure that you knew that I was a space that you could just like word vomit if you needed to.
I hope I was.
Yeah, 100 percent.
You know, I just wanted you to be comfortable, warm.
I wanted you to sleep.
You didn't.
I was too excited.
You know, whatever.
But when we got when we got there, you were excited.
No, when I didn't sleep because I was just like this time is so precious getting to spend with you that I just wanted to like, you know, but enjoy it and chat.
You like pulled up a chair right next to my recliner for a bit.
And I loved that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I I had asked um a bunch of our friends to.
My specific ask was can you share a funny story and a memory?
It was supposed to be, wait, those were supposed to be funny.
All of them were supposed to be funny.
This was, this was the best thing that you did.
You did so many amazing things over these past few days, but you presented to me the first night you were here.
You essentially were like I have a message to share with you.
And then I had to guess who it was from.
And it was just, it was funny.
It was sentimental.
And I was able to figure out who it was based on the memories.
But like, you've done that the entire time you've been here.
You've just had this little stash, this treasure trove.
And it's not of the obvious.
They're not all from the obvious, people like our former roommates, like they're from, like people.
We went to australia with people, like it was.
So that to me, like one of my dreams is to be eulogized while i am alive like really yeah, don't save the nice things to say about me when i'm gone.
I want to hear them now.
Okay, because when you said that the other day, i got nervous.
I was like, oh my gosh, does she think i'm eulogizing her?
Well no, but it's more of like it's really cool, like for the people that you reached out to.
The messages I would have written to them would have had some crossover, but like, what people think about when they think of me is it's like I know that this sounds so self-centered, but like it is a really special thing to get to hear the nice things that people think of when they think of you.
Yes.
Cause like, I wouldn't, I don't think those things of myself.
And so it was cool to hear what memories people came up with and just like the things that, they associate with like it was awesome that was my favorite thing that you did was having all these little stories to share that you had sourced and you reading them and of course like in your voice and you laughing like yeah good good that was awesome that is what I wanted um you know my goal was to be here and make you laugh yeah we laughed a lot um anything for a laugh that's yeah that's our tagline that's anything I Allie I mean if you if I'm sure everybody knows she's so funny you're so funny and you think I'm I oh my gosh I am her best audience because she is everything she says or does she's you're so witty you're so quick like this is why you're good at what you do like you are just on it and ready with a sassy comment it's the best and I wanted to give you that these last couple of days.
He laughs at everything I do.
Cause you're so funny.
And she does this laugh.
We call it the silent thunder because she laughs so hard that no noise comes out and she can't breathe.
And you silent thunder at a handful of times this week.
I mean, cause you're so funny.
You're so funny.
And you're just easily.
But I was like how can I give that to her during this like time where I know she's going to be stressed and not feeling great?
And so like, I just wanted to, push that on you as much as I possibly could.
It was so thoughtful.
Yeah.
I love you so much.
Those were cool.
And you did them at all different times.
You did them when we were driving up there.
Yeah.
You did them during chemo.
Two of our college roommates.
We met up a month or so ago and we made her friendship bracelets, but have all funny things on them that you know are just from college.
Stoli salad.
Little inside jokes.
Shout out if anyone.
I think I've mentioned Stoli salads here before, but Side Street Grill in Hamden made the best Stoli salads ever, which was they poured all the different flavors of Stoli vodka into a glass with like a splash of cranberry.
And we were like, we're having salad for dinner salad.
Yeah.
How did we survive?
Yep.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Uh no, you did so many things that were so uniquely you and so so specific to our relationship, which felt really extra meaningful and Like there's so many things that you can do to show up for someone that like, anyone needs when they're going through a hard time, or especially if it's chemo, whatever.
But yeah, all the like, this visit has been filled with personal touches that took like thought and action.
Persico made us a playlist to listen to.
And just so you know, did you hear Connor when we were FaceTiming Connor last night?
I think you might have been on the phone with Pia at that point, but I was like oh, I was like yeah, our friend Connor, our friend Persico, made a playlist for us to listen to.
And Connor goes, you relinquished control of the pre-chemo playlist.
And I was like I know because that's like I'm very specific about what I listen to on the way to chemo.
I've got to get in the right mindset.
Okay. and you were like ready with Persico's playlist and it was so fun.
That was awesome.
Well, I mean, how thoughtful of him though.
I mean, this is I mean and I know we talked about like different things that people do to support you, and like things I would never think of.
Right.
I mentioned to you um Um, when everything happened with my brother, like a friend of mine came over with a bag of toys For my three-year-old And I was like that's brilliant.
Like thank you for doing that.
So when I reached out to people and said like i'm gonna go see al finally Um, it's my time.
I really want to make this special.
Can you give me?
Like fun, happy memories that I can read to her, like throughout the time.
And I didn't give anybody like I guess I assumed people would just give me notes, you know, which a lot of people did, which is incredible.
Persico, a friend of another.
His name is Michael.
He sent us or he sent me a Spotify playlist, like his love language was.
I am going to go through all of these burnt CDs that Ali had made for me.
I am going to pull all of the songs off of them and put them on a Spotify playlist and send them to her.
Isn't that incredible?
Awesome.
That's a super cool way to show up.
And then each song had a memory.
It was like, oh my gosh, we listened to this like after watching Grey's Anatomy before we would go out, or this was from like Persico's graduation party, or the one that Hey Jude, because we danced to that in my driveway at my graduation party.
Like it's so... special to see what people remember and like what stands out to them.
Yeah.
Has been a really cool experience.
Yeah.
I mean, I really do.
I know we said it a little bit, but like we got so lucky at Quinnipiac, like our friend groups, you know like I am so blessed to have the people like.
These people are people that like, will be friends with forever and that are truly like uh, friends that you choose as family.
Right.
You know, Yeah.
I need to pull the cancer card and just be like hey, everyone having a party at my house on this day and just invite like all these Quinnipiac people and people can show up if it works for them.
Happy to plan.
And yeah, I'm going to be like, listen, I have cancer.
So you have to come.
Yeah.
They'll come.
Yeah.
I mean, they'd come anyways.
I got to pull that card more.
You know you can't just use it to my advantage to get people to hang out.
I mean, I, I don't think that people will hang out with you because you have cancer.
People are going to hang out with you because it helps though.
You're great.
You're an amazing person and you're hilarious.
You are too.
You know, two peas in a quad.
Two peas in a quad.
I know it's really good.
Oh my God.
Uh, okay.
So we started the day, uh, just to like break down how things went parked on P seven.
Not my best, not my worst.
Wait, hold on.
Back up.
Yeah.
You did knock down a steak in your driveway too.
See, you know what I didn't do?
I didn't back into your rental car.
So you should be grateful for that.
I am.
But I mean, your drive was huge.
Like I backed into the amazing company that plows my driveway came this week.
Put the stakes along the driveway.
There's like three and she managed to hit one.
Yep.
I was like, what is that?
I hit something.
Whoops.
Yeah, that happened.
It's fine. we, yeah, drive was easy.
Listen to Persico's mix parked.
And then the first part of the day is getting my port accessed.
That was a breeze had Devin, one of my favorite nurses.
So like that put me at ease right away.
Uh, but yeah, I mean, I was, I'm never my best on chemo days.
It's especially after that last round that was hard.
It's like it's taken some work right now to like power through these days.
We met with dr stacy so i don't see my oncologist every time i see a member of her team and so we saw dr stacy, who's lovely lovely um, she is a stacy she yes, she looks personality like.
If you saw her on the street you'd be like i bet her name is stacy.
Yeah, not like stacy mcgill from the babysitters club.
This is she's like.
This is a grownup Stacey.
Grownup Stacey.
So kind, so thoughtful, so caring.
Yeah.
Just such a lovely NP.
Yep.
And yeah, so that, I mean, that visit was not super noteworthy, nothing too crazy.
She really listened to me.
I think I was just going to say that she listened to what your concerns were.
Yep.
And she did what you felt comfortable with.
Yeah.
Which was like adjusting the nausea meds a little bit.
Um, we're still tinkering with those to get the exact right sort of cocktail that's going to work for me.
Um, we thought we were there.
Chemo round six was such a good round.
It went so smooth.
I felt good after, and then round seven was like a disaster.
So yeah, we'll see how this one goes.
But um, so yeah, that was good.
She spent a lot of time with us.
She always does too.
Um, she was really generous with her time, And then we waited.
We got food.
Yeah.
We went to the works.
I got, I bought me a bagel.
Yep.
Got you a bagel, got a salmon smoked salmon bowl for me.
And, and that was nice too.
Cause that was just like a break before going to chemo.
So I feel like we just got to like chat.
This episode of the alley on the run show is brought to you by the Eugene marathon weekend.
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My marathon PR is from Eugene Marathon.
I've never seen a rainbow there, but I have seen lots and lots of puppies.
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Did you feel like you needed to like amp yourself up there or like how what, like?
What headspace were you in then?
Um, I was feeling, I don't know if anxious is even the right word.
I was just like, I'm about to go into the hardest part of my day.
And you're like, Oh wait, there was a point where you're like, let's just go.
Oh, there were so many points.
I mean, as soon as you got here, I was like, you know what I don't want to do tomorrow.
Go to camp.
Yeah.
And I know the power of a positive mindset.
So like I do try really hard to be like one thing at a time.
Like the next thing you have to do is walk to the infusion center.
Then wait.
Then they'll call you in.
And then it's the pre-meds.
And once you've gotten through those, you're okay.
Because that's the part that made you sick last time.
You're not getting the same medication that made you sick.
Just be okay.
Which is not easy to do.
That is mental... You said it yesterday.
Mental gymnastics.
I said that?
You did.
I like that.
Yeah.
You... And I get it.
Yeah.
To push through.
Yeah.
Fake it till you make it.
Yep.
But you did it.
One thing that really helped yesterday was we had the A team in the infusion center.
That's what I wanted, to make sure.
I mean, I knew you were going to talk about it, but I also want to just chime in here and say the people who work in
This group are so incredible.
I mean just to throw it back to my dad, to like.
The people who work in oncology departments are just stunning individuals who give it all.
And it was exactly the same with these people whom took such good care of you yesterday.
I was so impressed.
Yeah.
Not surprised.
I mean, so impressed.
A million reasons to love Haley.
Yeah.
Not one of which is that she was like, how old are you, 35?
And I was like, yes.
I just had my 35th plus five birthday.
Yes.
Yeah, that tracks.
No, but that helped too.
Like having Devin be the one to access my port, great start to the day.
I love Devin.
I'm so comfortable with her.
I get to be with her a lot.
And then...
They bring us in and our chair was in like a good spot.
There's some spots that are really tight.
Like you saw it in there and it goes way back.
But like there's some chairs where you're just like, this is not a great spot.
And I'm never going to be like, you don't have your choice of seats in the infusion center.
And first question I asked. is I was like, who's my nurse today?
And they were like, you're with Haley.
And I think I squealed.
I was like, yay.
This is probably my third time with Haley.
Because you hadn't had her for a while, right?
I hadn't had her for the past two rounds.
And so I got her on this one.
And she's just great.
Like I, great energy, just like a beautiful.
Great job.
Yep, she's fun, she's cool.
Yeah um, we chit-chatted with her about celebrity gossip.
Oh yeah, she's a big bravo bravo, fan.
Yeah, so she was talking to you about the real housewives a little bit.
Hallie was there.
Hallie has been there since i started going in 2023 and she's so beautiful and so smart.
She came to my birthday party, like getting her, And she had a break.
And so she actually came over and sat with us for a bit.
That's like, also let's just, I want to make a note of that.
Like this girl took her break for the day with you.
Yeah.
Instead of leaving, she literally rolled up a stool and was like Hey, so I'm going to hang out with you on my break.
And I was like, yes, we win.
Do you see how cool you are?
People are just nice.
It's fun to talk to them.
And then Andy, I didn't see anybody else sitting on their break talking to anybody else.
Yeah, it was because you're fun there and you're great, yeah.
So I got um.
So yeah, I was in my head about the actual infusion and how I was gonna feel.
Um, I got my Ativan, which usually helps me chill out a little bit, and then we got things going.
I felt like we were in there for a this felt long, did it?
Um, I felt like we were in the infusion center for a really long time and I was just like, because I didn't sleep either.
Right, I slept for five minutes.
Um, the woman next to me, a young woman uh, we're the exact same age actually.
She knows Emily Halman.
And like also I never, because I'm usually sleeping I never talked to the other patients and I always leave being like I really I wish I had like connected with the person next to me of just like Hey, what are you going through?
Like we, we get it.
We're in the same place at the same time.
And I do always kind of regret not connecting.
Like I've really connected with the staff there, which is lovely.
Um, and I also like a lot of patients.
I don't know.
I don't really want to, I don't want someone to chat me up.
I just want to sleep.
But she kind of gave off a vibe of like, I'm here.
She was like ready.
A good time.
Yeah.
So we talked to her for a little bit, which was cool.
And she's also going through breast cancer.
So that you know, it's just nice to make that connection.
So yeah, everything went fine.
Like it was smooth.
There were no issues.
There were no holdups.
So like all in all, I feel like I should look back and be like, yeah, that went really well.
But it's also hard knowing that you're going to get through this hard day, but then the days that follow are also probably going to be hard.
I woke up this morning, and as soon as I woke up, I was like, I feel good.
Awesome.
I feel pretty good.
Within an hour, I was like, no, I don't.
I was like I feel awesome, just run down, do you?
Because i asked you and you said you're.
You feel tired, i feel tired and i don't get a break like i.
You know, i went.
We went and picked up annie from her dad at nine o'clock this morning, yep and shout out to my parents who are hanging with her, so we could chat for a bit.
And then it's thanksgiving prep and i'm hosting thanksgiving tomorrow and obviously, like right, my parents are doing a lot of the heavy lifting there.
But what you like, if it was up to you, better than traveling.
Oh, But if it was up to you right now, what would the next couple of days look like?
Well, I would feel healthy.
I would be out for my walks.
I would be working.
I'm at such an inbox deficit right now.
I have so many actually important things that I need to be getting done.
And so it's also just relinquishing and saying like they're not going to like, so that's just weighing on you.
It's weighing on me.
Yeah.
I didn't get enough done.
Like I worked a lot this past weekend cause Annie was with her dad and it was like my one weekend.
Like I had things that I had to, that I was committed to, that I had to do this weekend, but I also was able to like get some stuff done around the house.
Anyway.
Um, I'm never going to get to everything.
That's very hard for me that I'm just like, I'm trying and I'm like, I hate that.
I, I always just want to be like, sorry, I didn't respond to your email.
I was having chemo.
Sorry.
I didn't respond to your email.
I can't.
And it's like, I can't do that.
Like people work through this, and I need to work through this and I need to figure out a system that works for me.
And I've gotten a little better at like front loading certain weeks or back load like, depending on my treatment schedule.
But um, you know I I'm a broken record here because I'm also not doing anything about this problem.
Like I've had so many people reach out and be like hey Ali, you said you hate bookkeeping, I will do your books for you.
I'll do your books for you for free, which I would never let someone do.
But like people are offering to help me and with business stuff, like it's one thing to let someone do my dishes when they're visiting which thank you for washing dishes this morning.
You're ridiculous.
Um, it's a lot harder to let someone into this business that I've really intentionally built and I'm very protective.
It's your brand.
I understand that.
Yeah.
I also just want to go on the record and say like, I also have offered to help.
I have plenty of time and would love to do all these things, but it's you, this is your stuff.
You know like you want to put your stamp on everything, which I completely understand.
Control freak.
I don't know if you knew that about me.
What?
No, I know.
I never, I never, I never knew that.
I never would want you to like rank your friends, but if you did on the like chill scale, where am I?
Yeah.
Um, like not the chillest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do want me to throw a number out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like bottom.
Well, let's, I mean, depends, depends what time type of time of day it is, you know?
Fair.
Yeah, that's true.
You're, you're intentional.
Yeah.
And that's fine.
And that's why you're thriving.
Your business is thriving.
You know like you're doing you're you're doing such a good job, but I, I mean you can ask for help on some stuff.
You know like Hey, I'm not going to chemo alone.
Yeah.
Amazing step.
Great.
I handed you the car keys as soon as we parked.
Yep.
I did not even attempt to offer to drive home.
Yeah.
I just sat there like a lump.
I'd hope.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And then what did we do?
We came back.
Oh, we ordered food right away, which was smart.
So good.
You chose Thai.
I was really feeling like bad Thai was a good.
It was so good.
I was craving it.
We had a buffet of Thai food.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
I think you have enough food in there for like the next three days.
Well, I'm also going to have a turkey in my fridge soon.
Clear that out.
I know I've got to finish it up today.
Um, no, but it really was like, and I just remember yesterday walking through the hospital with you.
I think we were walking to get food and I was like, like I wish we weren't walking down the halls of Dartmouth Hitchcock medical center, but like I'm walking with D, like this is great.
Like we don't get to see each other very much.
And so that is forever.
My biggest um bit of gratitude of all this is I am getting one-on-one time with my busy, hardworking friends who have a lot going on in their own lives, and like I'm getting this uninterrupted time with them and that is like So and we still get to do like special stuff, like getting to FaceTime with Pia.
Yeah.
Was, made me so happy because I haven't seen her in a year and she's the best and like.
And she's obsessed with you.
I love her.
Like you met her for the first time last year when she was three years old.
Yeah.
And Pia's very shy.
She's like your stereotypical COVID baby.
Like she's.
She's more, probably more curt.
In that way you know where she's very like, cautious of everybody.
I like, so.
She.
You walked up to her, you knelt down in front of her and you were like hi, I'm Ally, and she took to you immediately.
You guys played the whole time at the cocktail hour or the cocktail dinner play games.
And Then which was so incredible for me as well, because it's I mean, to see your daughter connect with somebody like that is so amazing when she's normally so shy.
And we FaceTimed the first night I was here and Pia was like chat chat, chat with Allie the whole time.
Then last night I FaceTimed with her and she was like, can I see Allie?
She's, she's truly never done that.
She like, you are special like to her, right?
Like and that's so happy for me that I get like my little peanut is like with someone I love so much.
You know how great that is?
It's a very special feeling.
You know?
I got to see that with you and Annie today of like hanging out for a bit.
She's incredible.
She, we made a boat and she made a list.
After she organized her shoes.
After she organized her shoes by color.
Yeah.
Yikes.
Oh my God.
My kid right there.
And then was like, let's make a list of rules for our cruise ship.
And I was like, this is Allie Feller times two.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Amazing.
It's so fun to get to see and just to get to like have this time.
This is always the saddest part.
Like chemo day is hard.
Wednesday morning when it's time for my friend to go home.
I hate that.
Like I should have just, what was I doing?
You can stay for Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
Well, if I get to hang out with your parents more.
Yeah.
They're bringing the turkey.
Yeah.
Great.
Obviously I can help cook.
You know, I don't, I don't know how to do that, but.
No, you know what I'm going to do a lot of putting meats and cheeses on plates.
That's my move.
Yes.
Um no, this has been and it always is like.
These visits encourage me to like when can we do this again?
Not in a chemo setting.
And it's like, it's hard.
It's hard to find that time.
Everyone's got stuff going on, but like, for you to fit this in means the world to me.
Like this has been, we have done, we have lived by the motto of cancer, but make it fun.
Cancer, but make it fun.
Yeah.
I don't, and I want you to say like, I don't know if anybody's like fitting you in.
Well, people have to like, people have to make things happen to be able to adjust.
Yeah.
That doesn't mean it's like, Oh my God, impossible.
I have to move mountains, but it does mean like, it means slight adjustments to Kurt's day.
Like he has to change things.
And it means, you know, it means Pia is not going to see her mom for two days.
Like that can be hard.
And so it is.
It doesn't mean everyone is moving mountains to be here for 48 hours, but I do think it's important to acknowledge the things that people do to make these days so much better for me.
And like, Every round of chemo, like I will forever remember who took me to each round.
Like you're always going to be D round eight.
And like I will have memories of you.
Like honestly, one of the memories that stands out is you reading Ledoux's note to me yesterday, because I could tell that like you've been like holding it together.
Mm hmm.
And then you cried a little bit.
And it was almost like validating.
Yeah.
Um, you prioritize, you know like you prioritize your life for the people who mean the most to you and who have done that for you.
And I will always do those things for you because you will always do those things for me.
And that's, How it's been right since like day one for us where we've just.
I will find Steve.
I will find Steve.
Yeah we did.
The right one.
They found a couple of Steve's over the course of college.
Right.
Right.
Remember the boyfriend bracket.
No.
Stop.
Oh my gosh.
Did you guys hear this.
Did you hear her say it.
Oh yeah.
Do you remember.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Obviously I don't remember.
This was like a bunch of years ago.
Mm hmm.
I made a bracket that included it was like the worst boyfriend bracket.
OK, so we had a lot to choose from.
We had a lot to choose.
It was all of our exes in this bracket.
And you had to vote.
And we saw who was the worst ex from our college group.
Who was it?
I think it was Nick at the time.
Oh, that makes that's fair.
He would not win anymore.
We, I mean, we have to redo it.
This was years ago.
Yeah yeah yeah, oh so yeah, I mean we have to redo it.
Yeah but yeah I, I should find it somewhere.
I wonder.
You have it probably like handmade it.
Uh-huh, of course yes yes, color coded with, like everyone's boy, whoever exes you were, like mm-hmm.
Dana's exes were purple and Lone's exes were yellow, you know whatever.
Right.
I don't remember that, but yours were in there.
That tracks.
Your exes were in there.
Yeah.
One of them made it pretty far in the bracket.
Well, so, you know, easy for him, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Was there anything from yesterday or from this visit that surprised you?
Just about like the experience of being here for chemo kind of thing.
No.
Yeah.
I'll be really honest with you.
Nothing surprised me.
Um, obviously I've listened and read all of the things you know.
I've obviously listened to you and keep track of stuff.
So like I felt like I had prepared myself um that in that way, but then also, you know, for my own personal experiences, I think I was fine.
Um, no, I just, I just want you to be happy.
So that's like, I want you to be comfortable.
I want you to be happy.
I want to just have the opportunity to contribute to this incredible community that you have created.
You know, it's amazing.
So, no, I wasn't I'm not surprised by what I because also like. you and I are you and I, you know, so I wasn't surprised at anything by you.
And then the hospital stuff.
No.
So I just, yeah, I just want you to, I want you to be safe and healthy and happy.
And that's it.
I mean, it was a better experience than Pandora.
Way better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One thing that I do want to say and then we'll wrap it up um is that you and I like, we've always been crazy close right.
Like obviously in college we live together, so it was very easy for us to be close.
Since then, we have never lived in the same city.
We haven't been roommates since college.
We've gone years at a time probably without even seeing each other.
Especially when I was in California.
I think my message here to people listening is if someone you know as a support person, if someone you know is going through a hard time, don't think well, I haven't seen her in six years.
That makes it all the more... special, honestly, and it's meaningful.
And so I think, if there's someone that you care about or at any point have cared about, like showing up for them in a way that makes sense to you, which might just be a text message saying Hey, I'm thinking of you.
Like that is never going to be received in any way other than like pure gratitude.
If you're like, oh my gosh, someone I know just lost a loved one or is going through a hard diagnosis, but we haven't spoken in 10 years, pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone.
No one is going to be like oh my God, we haven't talked to me in 10 years and now you're being nice.
That's not going to happen.
It is.
It is.
And it's so hard, right?
You feel awkward.
You're like, well, I haven't talked to that person.
So it's going to be weird to send them a message.
You see that the lot you pull their thing up and you're like, oh my God, our last text was in 2012.
Right.
And it's like ah, it is always amazing to hear from people when you're going through a really rough time.
I mean no expectation of a response to.
I would say nothing.
Send it to.
To send it and let them know you're thinking of them, without expecting anything in return.
Absolutely.
You're doing that because you want to push out good into the world, not because you want some sort of pat on the back.
Pick up the phone, send the text message, do whatever you can do to make sure they know that you're thinking of them.
Doesn't matter how long time has passed.
When people are grieving, you don't know what, you know, what will help.
So, you know, your message might make a difference in their day.
Yeah.
So thanks to Jenna and Schwab and Steve Geller, like all college people that I have not spoken to in 20 years.
Mm hmm. that sent notes to Dee for her to read to me.
Like it was so, all of the notes were so special.
But like i don't know, you know how many times this weekend have you been like i wonder if so and so remembers me.
Like everybody asks about you.
I mean because you know, like i have, i try to keep up with.
You're so good with um.
I told you my friends are very important to me.
Um, i try to keep up with you know these people who mean a lot to me.
Everybody asks about you all the time because they're like oh well, d is the is the main connection point.
Yeah yeah here, which i'm like very proud of.
Yeah, you should be very protective of you're a connector.
You're like you, you're the glue.
I like to connect people.
I like you know when, like I find good people, I like to connect them.
You know, like even my best friend Izzy, who lives in Chicago, who you met for the first time she's amazing.
She was like oh my god, give Allie a hug for me.
I can't wait.
You know, like you gave it.
But yeah, like people are important and everybody asks about you all the time.
They're like what do you tell them?
Are you like rough shape, not doing great yikes?
I can hear her crying.
Again, a lot of drama while I also cry.
It's fine, you know, whatever man, everybody's got their stuff.
Different things make us cry too, which is interesting.
I feel like we don't usually cry at the same time.
Yeah, I'm crying because I can't find the remote to turn off almost famous for the 90th time right, I'm not sorry about that.
It's a good movie.
It's a good movie, but I've seen it too much.
I've seen parts of it too much.
The tiny dancer scene too much.
You know what I haven't seen enough of?
Center Stage.
You had to bring it up.
Go ahead.
When we were in college, we could not watch Center Stage.
With me.
With Allie.
I wouldn't watch it with my normal friends.
She would tell us that she only watches that movie with her dance friends.
Because it's a different experience and they get it.
Yeah, as a non-dancer, I would never understand.
I was such an asshole.
All I wanted to see was the end when she twirls into the red.
You have to earn that.
I mean, see, you don't get it.
You have to earn that part of the movie.
You can't just watch the finale.
I like movies, you know, but I'm not a dancer, so I don't understand.
I was such a little shit.
Yeah.
So was I, you know, but like we were.
But so like maybe one time I don't know like maybe I'll come up again and we'll watch center stage.
I would do anything for you now.
Like, what's amazing is that I wouldn't watch center stage with you because I like I wanted your approval so badly.
Right.
Like early on, early on listen, sophomore year, you and lone got in that epic fight.
Just i don't even know what it was about.
Do you remember what it's about?
I don't, do i remember?
Oh, my god, i'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, i'm a goldfish, i'm sorry.
Um, you and lone screaming at each other.
I can picture, i mean, that's happened many times.
Well, i just like I grew up not fighting with people.
Right.
And so when I'm watching these two 19-year-olds screaming, she yelled at you D, get off your high horse.
I'd never even heard that phrase.
And I just remember being like, the girls are fighting.
It was wild to me.
And then you were fine.
Also, you didn't have a sister.
No, that's a good point.
And my brother and I didn't.
Well, you guys are also nice to each other.
Your family is.
We weren't growing up.
Well, we would fight over stupid things like who got to sit in which seat in the minivan, i know.
But your parents also were like all right, like let's be nice to each other, let's talk through this.
I remember hearing my parents fight one time growing up.
I was upstairs and i heard them fighting and i was like my parents are getting divorced.
It's obvious.
It's written in the cards.
Spoiler how many still together.
What is it?
Oh, my mom the other day was like today is me and your dad's like 50th anniversary of our first date.
Oh, Of their first date.
Yeah.
I know.
Gross.
I love them so much.
I love them so much.
But yeah, I do.
That was like shocking to me watching you two fight.
And I was like, I never want to be on the receiving end.
Like I cannot.
Of either, right?
I can't hold my own against either of those two.
And so I just.
You can though.
You just have a different volume.
I would write a letter if I had to.
Before I would.
Well, you're also the most like.
Non-confrontational person ever.
So if something bugs you, you bury it.
And then you're kind of mad a little bit.
Yeah.
And then you get over it.
Yeah.
But I know when you're mad.
I know.
Well, yeah.
It happens.
Whatever.
It's good.
Yeah.
You know?
Where were we going?
To your good side.
Where I want to stay for life.
You're always on my good side.
Regardless.
Everything.
You know, it's kind of like a sibling thing, you know, at this point.
Like it's like you know, like regardless of whatever, like yeah, we're going to have probably like different opinions about stuff, but we all love you so much and respect you so much.
You know, respect me.
That's so nice.
Oh my God.
We had a great chat yesterday in the car when we were driving back of just talking about like friendships and our perspective on friendships now as 40 year old women.
And just being like this is what friendships look like.
This is what, Like yeah, shit's going to happen, but what's important, and what's important is like is this a friendship that is important to you?
Great.
Salvage it.
Have the right conversation.
Do the thing.
I'm like I'm finally getting to that point in my life where I'm like okay, have the hard conversation and the friendship will withstand it.
Or it won't.
But don't not have the hard conversation.
And I'm trying to be better about that.
That's really hard.
Difficult conversations aren't something I think we grow up doing enough of.
Of actually going through the exercise of...
Being able to like be strong enough to like speak your mind and like be able to say like okay, This is really bothering me.
Like can we talk through it?
That's not easy, and that's not easy with Like colleagues, that's not easy with people you love, you know, but I think for me, growing up, I didn't do any of that in my household.
We just like We were House of Yellers like my.
When Kurt ever met my family, he was like your family is a family of Yellers and if we ever have kids, We will not be like that.
And that was a huge hit for me.
Like, shit.
Because that was your normal.
That was my normal.
It was like, wait, not everyone does this.
Right.
But for me, it's really important to... raise Pia in an environment where it's okay to make mistakes first of all okay we can fix it let's talk through it it's fine but also like let's talk about like why that was might have been bad and let's make sure we understand it's how to apologize and then move on because otherwise like what happens it's like how you and I probably like deal with a lot of conflict where we're like okay that sucks I hate that person for a It's just easier to bury it and move on.
Yeah.
I mean, it doesn't.
It doesn't.
Right.
So, but I think you know, like the point of what you were saying too is like, at this point in our lives,
Right.
Like and you and I have been through some shit and you're able to like gain a little perspective.
So I know you said there's no like, no silver lining of cancer, right?
Um, but like, being able to gain perspective on like, what truly matters and like where to put your energy, is really important um, and I think you and I like, are like see eye to eye on that and I'm grateful for that.
You know, I don't want to end because I don't want you to leave.
I know.
I have to go home.
I know.
I don't.
I mean, the only reason I actually have to go home is to return the rental car.
Oh, yeah.
That I didn't hit.
So proud.
You have made this couple days really nice.
Like I have loved this time with you and I feel like we've.
Like every night I'm like I don't want to go to bed because I want to keep hanging out.
I don't want to fall asleep because I want to keep hanging out in the big bed.
In the big bed, of course.
Yeah sorry, you had to sleep on the other side.
We sleep on the same side of the bed.
Yeah, I always sleep next to the windows, you too, Or is that just like your side?
So if I'm in a Yeah, I guess that's just my side now which, again like I could be sleeping in the middle at this point in my life, but I don't.
Yeah.
I know that's just always been my side.
Okay.
You'd think I'd want to be close to the bathroom, but... Maybe you don't though.
Maybe you're like, I've been in there enough.
Yeah.
I'll get the extra steps.
Yeah.
Thank you for being such a good, such a good friend obviously, but like you did a lot that made this chemo round eight memorable and special in all ways that were so quintessentially you and I think that's like the final point that I will drive home here is I say this all the time but like there are so many different ways to show up and to help, and like you, rolled up with scrapbooks and they're all from like they're your scrapbooks, but it feels like there are scrapbooks.
Like, well, frankly, all of your notes are in them.
All of your love notes to me are in them.
Um, but like no one else could have done that.
Or like it was just, you just did a lot of things that were really felt like little tributes to our friendship and our relationship.
And it was so nice to have like that um, overwhelming feeling, going into a really hard day of like good D's here, like everything's gonna be okay because D is here and like, no matter how today goes, like D is here and I know that like you could handle anything that came either of our ways yesterday.
Like if I did get sick you could handle.
That if I was in a good mood you'd be up for it.
If, like I don't know, I just felt I feel very comfortable with you and safe with you and I'm not like I don't need to be anything other than who I am.
I didn't feel like I had to be like positive and chipper.
I was like, no, I can be any version of myself right now.
And that's going to fly.
So thank you for 20 years later, still being that person for me.
It's my pleasure.
It's my honor to be here with you.
I just love you so much.
And you like, I really don't think you understand how impactful you've been in my life and how important you are to me.
Um, and, um, I'm angry that you are going through this, you know?
And I know I said that to you yesterday.
It's really sucks, but like whatever I can do to make your life better, like I'm here for it.
So always.
Yeah.
You did that a lot.
Good.
It was awesome.
Good.
I'm glad.
So thank you for bringing many happy memories to very shitty time.
And yeah, I love you.
You're the best.
Thank, thank God I transferred into your room freshman year for both of us.
Yeah.
You know?
You could have gotten any number of people brought into that room.
You got Allison Feller.
Al.
Soon to be rebranded.
Al.
Yeah.
The irony that you were the one that said I had to be Ali and then you never called me that.
I mean, you did.
Sometimes.
I feel like you've called me Al more now.
Al.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's you.
Yeah.
We thrived.
We thrived in college and... Supported each other.
It's just like womanhood.
You know, friendship and it's um girlfriends are super, super important to have for me.
I mean for me.
So I know I said we were gonna wrap it.
Did you need to circle back to the parking lot, or are we good Okay?
I mean, I just wanted to say like, here's a great memory.
This is the point.
Is is a great memory and I'll just I'm going to keep it at like the best levels is.
There was a weekend where I went to New York city to visit Al.
Um, either you, I had broken up with a boyfriend or you had broken up with a boyfriend.
We were both single.
We were both single for the first time in a long time.
And I, we were going to comfort each other.
And I show up on a bus.
I took one of those... Fung Wah or something.
Fung Wah Bolt Bus situations.
Probably took me 10 hours from Boston to New York City.
And I show up and Allie has made a sign that just says Mastronardi across it in bubble letters.
You filled it in with Sharpie, black Sharpie.
I roll up and I was like, okay, great.
Here we go.
I'm so excited to be here.
Didn't you put out like pictures of us in your apartment too?
Like with Bobcats or something?
Yeah.
So she keeps saying she doesn't show up for people, but I don't think she realizes like that she's done this her whole life.
Well, I love a reason to make a sign with bubble letters.
True.
You know, Annie did it this morning.
Annie rolled up with a happy Thanksgiving sign in bubble letters.
She's incredible.
Yeah.
So we go out, we go to Allie's favorite pasta spot.
Tony's DiNapoli.
We both eat all of our pasta because it was difficult for us to consume food.
Penne alla vodka with broccoli.
Yep.
Oh my gosh.
We drink a couple of glasses of wine and we're like, let's go.
Let's go see where the night takes us.
We're walking down a street.
We were what?
Like 26 probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably, yeah.
We run into a bachelor party, and there was cute guys, and I think I yelled at them.
I was like, you're cute.
And two of them turned around, and they were like, hello, girls.
What are you doing?
Here goes the night.
We... they were like, let's go to this bar.
And we were like, great.
And then who came up with, it was probably you.
This is like fun shit that you come up with.
And you were like, we're gonna give a toast.
Like we're all gonna go around and give a toast to something.
And so, like you know, we like I think three out of four of us went, and they were like mundane things.
Like we toast to, I don't know, whatever, New York City or whatever it was.
And so the one of the boys was like, hold on, I'll be back.
And he goes to the DJ booth.
He like whispers and the three of us were like, what is he doing?
And he comes back and he looks at me and he was like just go with this.
It was like this was all preplanned.
Yeah.
Um, and he gets a chair from the bar.
He stands on the chair in the middle of a bar.
He like motions to the DJ who shuts the music off and turns the house lights on.
And he was like I'm sorry to bug everybody, but this is my girlfriend D and I wasn't going to do this here, but she's the love of my life.
And this is like a sloppy pastime hacked bar like in new york one o'clock in the morning.
This is not like a romantic.
No, this was like a long rectangle dark bar and he was like i have a ring ready for her.
But this just felt like the right time and he got down on one knee and he proposed And I jumped into his arms and we kissed and I said yes.
The bar went crazy.
Everybody went wild.
We did not pay for a drink.
The bartenders all popped bottles of champagne, passed champagne out to everybody.
Because no one had ever proposed at that bar before.
There's no way.
There's no way.
It was a dirty bar.
We were for sure in Murray Hill.
I thought we were in like Hell's Kitchen.
Yeah, maybe.
That's where I lived, I think.
So yeah.
I don't remember.
You lived in the building with the sign on it.
Next to the New Yorker building.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we didn't pay for drinks the rest of the night.
We had the best time.
I feel like that was a thing.
Like, do you think that they... That was a bit that they did?
I didn't used to because I thought we were really special.
Right.
But since you mentioned that, like they probably do that every weekend and he was so smooth about it.
Like... I do believe that it was not his first proposal.
What I also believe is he still has your earrings.
He still has my earrings, which is why two weeks ago, when you were at and I were on the phone, I said anything for a laugh.
You want me to add him on LinkedIn?
I haven't logged into LinkedIn in years and now you get all of his professional.
I get all of his updates.
Because you say you don't remember stuff.
You remembered his first and last name and I remembered the sport that he played and so I found him immediately my first fiance.
That would have been offensive if I didn't remember his name, don't you think?
Good point, he also was very good looking, he was, he was good.
Both those guys were yeah, they were cute, they were real cute and they were fun.
They were, they were here's the thing, here's the thing.
They were so much fun and we laughed yeah remember um, the best story that we told, the best story that one of those boys told us was um yes, you say you say it because you say it.
No, i don't remember who taught him how to ride his bike.
It was like an invisible friend that he had.
Yeah, but his name was Mr. Wiener.
Mr. Wiener.
He was telling us about his invisible friend.
And let me tell you, Mr. Wiener taught me how to ride a bike.
Yeah.
And we laughed the whole night.
We laughed the whole night.
We are never not having fun, you and me.
Even on these awful days, I feel like you bring out the most fun moments silly side of me because I like to make you laugh it and and I am attracted to you because I'm like just make me laugh.
I love laughing and I just you are so funny, so I I'm always trying to make you laugh.
You do make me laugh all the time.
I mean, I try as hard as I can because I just want to reciprocate the love.
But see, we're just I love you.
And I'm like this.
We're lucky.
We're lucky to have each other.
Thank you.
Quinnipiac Housing Department.
Yes.
Making this happen.
Office of Residence Life.
Whoever made that decision.
Yeah nerd, you know.
Oh yeah, good thing, i have a master's in higher education administration.
You know, look at you thriving, thriving.
Yeah, you're the best.
I love you.
I love you so much.
Thank you for everything.
Thank, and i also just personally want to give a shout out to your community the best people whom you don't know, that reach out to you on a daily basis to support you and help you.
Like all of you people out there are so incredible.
I am always impressed at the love and support that you provide for my friend.
So I am just want to say like thank you for taking care of my friend, because she needs.
She needs us.
And so, it is, you know, I never feel like I could ever give her enough.
And I think we're all throwing you as much love and support as we possibly can.
And how, I mean, it's incredible that you're getting all of this from around the world, you know?
So thank you.
This is just my personal gratitude for to all of you whom like, continue to show up for Allie.
Um, those your live shows, I mean just incredible.
So, thank you, come to the Boston live show this year.
Yes, I'm there okay, I'll start planning.
See everybody there.
See everybody there okay, love you so much.
Thank you so much for being here for this episode of the Allie on the Run show with my guest, my college bestie, my support squad, chemo round eight partner in.
I was going to say crime, but we didn't get into any of that.
Danielle D. Mastronardi.
She is such a special person to me and I know it probably sounds weird. cheesy at this point.
I don't care.
You know what you're here for.
But truly, I say it every time getting to spend this time with these people is the ultimate.
I don't know if I want to call it a gift, because none of this really feels like a gift, but a perk, a blessing in disguise.
It's not even in disguise.
It's an obvious thing.
So Dee, thank you for all that you do for me and for being here.
Thank you all for listening.
Again.
I know that these episodes this is certainly not what I had in mind when I launched the Allie on the Run show 850 something episodes ago.
Didn't think we'd be chiming in about cancer from time to time, but such is life.
And here we are.
And So thank you.
If you listen to this episode, I appreciate you.
I'm Allie on the Run 1 on Instagram.
Allieontherun.substack.com is my newsletter.
I appreciate you.
I love you.
It's the holiday season.
It's a crazy time of year.
So remember to drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, take some deep breaths.
Everything's going to be okay.
As a reminder, you've got this.
You're doing great.
And thank you for joining me on the run.
