You're not bad with money.
You were just never taught how to use it.
You were taught how to earn it, not how to grow it.
You were taught how to spend it, but not how to invest it.
You were taught to chase it, not how to make it work for you.
You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving.
And it's not your fault you didn't know but it's your power to learn now.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
I'm Jay Shetty and I'm so deeply grateful that you tuned in.
I hope that you've subscribed so that you never miss an episode and make sure you keep tagging me on Instagram and TikTok and all your platforms.
I love seeing the clips and the parts that resonate with you and I love the community we're building.
Now today's episode is about something that I believe is so important.
It's everything I wish I knew about money in my 20s.
Now, whether you're in your 20s 30s, 40s or 50s, this episode still applies, because I believe that financial literacy is something we all learn far too late.
It's something that some of us never learn at all.
I'm sure you've had some challenges with this.
Whether it's been credit card payments, whether it's been debt, whether it's been understanding how to make money or grow money, whether it's understanding.
Do I need a side hustle?
How many streams of income do I have?
Do I really know where I'm spending my money?
Do I know where I'm wasting my money?
And chances are, if you've turned up here, there's a part of you that's also avoided money.
I'm guessing there's a part of you that doesn't like looking at your bank statement.
There's a part of you that maybe wants to put it away.
There's a part of you that doesn't check how much you've saved because you're scared.
You're scared to look at the number.
It's hard to face.
And here's what I want to start by telling you.
It's not your fault.
You were never taught how to do it.
It's not something you should know how to do.
I think we all feel like we grow up and all of a sudden we're paying rent.
We're paying taxes.
We've got to figure out what a mortgage is.
We have no idea how that works.
Everything has interest.
And all of a sudden you grow up and you go, well, wait a minute.
No one taught me this in school.
Even if you studied economics at school, you didn't know how real world economy worked.
Even if you studied finance at university, you didn't necessarily know how to start and run a business.
It doesn't work that way.
So I want you to take the pressure off and I want this to be the start of you changing your money mindset.
I want this to be the beginning of transforming your relationship with money.
I think that's the main thing I want to focus on here.
Currently, you have an avoidant relationship with money.
There are three types of attachment styles in love, secure, anxious, and avoidant.
And I believe that those three attachment styles are also our attachment styles with money.
We either feel secure talking about money and what it is.
We feel anxious talking about money and how much we make, save and spend.
Or we avoid it all together.
Which one are you?
If I asked you right now do you feel secure talking about money, listening about money, looking at your bank statements, looking at your budgeting and saving?
Do you feel anxious?
So you might do those things, but actually there's this underlying anxiety.
I don't have enough.
I'm not going to have enough.
I don't like all of this.
This is stressful.
And then there's avoidance.
I don't look at it at all.
I have no idea.
We want to transform our relationship with money to be secure.
I'm not saying we have to be overly confident.
I'm not saying you have to become a millionaire.
I'm not saying that you've got to have an abundance mindset.
I just want you to feel safe and secure talking about money, hearing about money and learning about money.
We've all been taught this myth sure you've heard it before money is the root of all evil.
You know what's really interesting about that?
When you actually check the actual reference, the actual quote is the love of money is the root of all evil.
Notice how different that is.
It's not that money is the root of all evil.
It's the love of money that's the root of all evil.
It's the obsession.
It's the lust.
It's the greed after it.
That's the root of all evil.
But money itself is energy.
Money is a resource.
Money is a universal power.
Money is a currency.
But when we get lost in this belief that it's bad, it's negative, our relationship with it becomes anxious and avoidant.
When we feel it's unhealthy,
We're not being told to not master our money.
We're just being told not to fall in love with it and think it's the be all and end all of everything.
That's the beginning of transforming our relationship from avoidant to anxious to secure.
Let's dive in.
Number one, you don't have an income problem you have a decision problem.
Most 20 year olds think they'll be better with money once they can earn more.
I'm sure you've said this as well.
When I have more money, I'll be better at dealing with it.
Right now, I don't have enough to even think about it.
But science shows that your sense of control, not your salary, predicts your financial well-being.
People with an internal locus of control, who believe they influence their outcomes, are more likely to budget, save and bounce back from financial stress.
One of my favorite quotes from Jim Rohn is he said, "'Formal education will make you a living.
Self-education will make you a fortune.'"
But here's the takeaway.
The moment you take responsibility for your financial habits, even if you're broke, is the moment you start building wealth.
Here's an action.
List three money related decisions you can make today, even if your income is low.
You could set up a free budgeting app.
You could cancel one unnecessary subscription.
You could transfer five pounds to savings or $5, even if it feels small.
Don't avoid talking about money.
Don't avoid talking to people about money.
Don't act broke to stay relatable.
Don't play so small so no one feels uncomfortable.
Don't pretend you don't care about wealth when you're struggling without it.
Don't shame ambition, then envy the results.
Don't wait to get rich before learning how to manage it.
Don't hide your financial goals.
Speak them like they already belong to you.
Don't stay silent about money and expect your relationship with it to improve.
It's like not talking to your partner and wanting to stay in love.
Imagine if you never talked about love.
You never talked about your relationship.
You never talked about connection or intimacy.
How good would your relationship be?
How healthy would it be?
People who believe that they can control their destiny, that they can change their reality, that they take control of their financial habits, will see change.
I want you to recognize that.
You won't feel better about your financial situation because you avoid looking at your bank statement.
You'll only feel better about your financial situation when you actually turn towards it.
Number two, you won't save what you don't see.
This is a psychological principle.
We spend what we mentally label as available.
If your paycheck hits your account and sits there, your brain sees it as spendable.
This is why automation and separation are more powerful than discipline.
We think, oh, I'll be disciplined this month.
I'll spend less.
But no, if there's no automation and separation of how that money is divided, you will break your discipline.
Mental accounting helps reduce friction between what you want and what you do.
There's an amazing quote I love.
It says, do not save what is left after spending. but spend what is left after saving.
That's from Warren Buffett, one of my favorite quotes.
Don't save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
You want to create an automatic save. and then spend what is left over.
You don't want to be in a position where you just have this amount in your current account and you're thinking okay, I'm going to try and save some of it this month.
And then at the end of the month, you're looking at it and you're back at zero.
You've got to remember this.
Your brain is lazy, but programmable. make savings invisible.
Open a second account today.
Automate 10 20, whatever you can do of every paycheck, even if it's 10, to go straight there and label it Freedom Fund.
Label it your freedom fund.
Give it a name.
Give it something exciting.
Don't just call it savings, because even the word savings sometimes can feel boring and kind of, you know, unenthusing.
Or it can feel scary to look at a savings account with not much in it.
But a freedom fund, whatever inspires you, make it automated and make it separated.
Don't just make money.
Learn to keep it.
Don't spend to look rich.
Save to stay free.
Don't let every paycheck pass through you like you don't matter.
Don't confuse lifestyle with wealth.
Don't buy comfort now and borrow stress later.
Don't think saving is boring.
It's the most rebellious thing in a world that wants you broke.
Don't wait until you make more.
Save now so future you has options.
Don't treat saving like a punishment.
Treat it like self-respect.
A lot of people that I've spoken to finance experts as well will talk about the dangers of how everyone online will tell you invest invest, invest.
You may end up losing a bunch of money on crypto.
You may end up losing a bunch of money on NFTs.
You don't need to do any of those get rich quick schemes.
What you need to focus on is building your future.
Number three, buying things won't make you rich, but learning about them actually might.
Most people think money is for spending not studying, but impulsive buying triggers dopamine and short-term pleasure, while financial literacy builds long-term gain.
Studies show those with higher financial literacy experience lower anxiety, more saving and better life outcomes.
Warren Buffett said, the more you learn, the more you earn. money grows when your brain grows first.
Talking about investing.
Spend 10 minutes today reading about a financial concept compound interest inflation, investing swap.
One scroll for one financial insight.
Investing in yourself and your knowledge is a far better investment at the beginning of your wealth journey than any other asset.
I promise you that.
Buying things won't make you rich.
Impressing people won't build your net worth.
Wearing your salary won't grow your savings.
Spending like you're wealthy won't make you wealthy.
Every time you buy to feel better, you're selling off your future piece.
You don't need more stuff.
You need more strategy.
The goal isn't to look rich.
The goal is to stop worrying about money.
Now, I'm not saying I don't want you to treat yourself.
I'm not saying that I like nice things too.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
You just don't want it to be imbalanced.
You don't want it to be that you're stressed every time you buy something.
I was talking to a friend about this.
He didn't go to university.
He found something that he loved early on in life and started making a living.
Now, in the beginning it didn't make him loads of money, but he learned very quickly how to not get wrapped up in building a lifestyle and actually how to invest it and learn about it.
And that's the point I really want to bring about here.
It's not just investing.
Before investing, there's a learning piece Okay, is it property?
Is it compound?
Is it this?
Is it borrowing?
It's figuring that out.
And I think a lot of people today will be like hey, invest in this, because this is the next big thing.
Hey, invest in this because this is the next big hit.
And the challenge with that is you do something with very low learning.
Usually it's a very big investment.
I've got another friend who knew nothing about crypto, put practically 50 of his life savings into it And then the next week, when crypto dropped, he took everything out because he'd lost 10K and got worried about it.
And then the next week it all went up again.
And then he'd lost all of it.
And it was just this mess of getting involved in things and investing in things that you have very little insight over.
At the same time, I've got friends who got great jobs out of university but their lifestyle changed so much that their lifestyle was competing with their income.
When your lifestyle is competing with your income.
The pressure that we experience that makes it extremely hard to turn that into future value.
A lot of the times we can look at people and think that they're spending lavishly, but we're looking at a number, not at a percentage.
I would start looking at your life as a percentage of how much you spend on your lifestyle versus how much you spend on your future.
It's not about the amount.
Someone could spend...
10,000 on a wedding.
Someone could spend 50,000 on a wedding.
Someone could spend a million on a wedding.
It's not about the amount they spend.
It's the percentage of their income that matters about how they spend.
And so stop looking at numbers at face value.
Start looking at your life as a percentage of what you're walking home with after tax and figuring out how that feels for you.
I think the before and after tax is a whole conversation in and of itself.
So many of us look at how much we make as a revenue standpoint or as an income standpoint and not looking at what does that look like after tax.
What does that look like after rent?
What does that look like after my car bill? right?
I see so many people with really great, amazing cars.
That is their entire salary.
Is the amount that car is worth?
And all of a sudden, when you start looking at those payments monthly, it starts getting really painful.
Don't ignore the reality of trying to present your lifestyle in a certain way.
I've also find it to be what's known as the golden handcuffs.
A lot of people get so used to their lifestyle that they can't quit a job they hate.
So you actually hate what you're doing, but you can't stop doing it because it pays for the lifestyle you want.
The question you have to ask yourself is do I want to do something?
I hate for the rest of my life to pay for things and it's okay if you do.
If the answer is yes, that's fine.
But oftentimes we get an opportunity to do something closer to our heart but we don't want to take it because we'd make less.
In my own life i went through that.
I had a stable job as a consultant.
I was doing okay okay, being very important as part of it, and i wasn't doing well and i wasn't doing badly.
I was doing just fine.
And i gave that up to pursue my passion and i'm so grateful for that, Because I am so thankful that I get to do what I love today.
But I had to take off the golden handcuffs.
I had a safe, stable career lined up.
But I was willing to make less.
I was willing to make nothing at all in the beginning to get it going.
And I'm grateful that I was able to put those down.
So don't be tied by the golden handcuffs.
Step number four.
Debt isn't evil, but ignorance is.
Most 20-somethings are taught that all debt is bad.
It's not.
What's dangerous is not understanding how it works and what type of debt you're getting into.
We avoid debt education out of fear, yet the avoidance is what leads to mistakes.
Psychology shows that we react more strongly to losses than gains.
So we emotionally shut down around debt.
One of my favorite quotes is if you don't find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die.
That's Warren Buffett as well.
So the takeaway is you can't beat a system you don't understand.
Action point for you.
Learn the basics.
APR, credit score, interest.
Pick one debt, could be your student loan, credit card, and break down how it actually works.
Then make a plan.
Do one thing at a time.
Don't just look at debt as this one big bubble.
Student loan is different to credit card debt.
Go and understand it deeply and see what support there is out there as well.
Number five, you're not lazy, you're overwhelmed.
We blame ourselves for being bad with money.
But often it's not laziness, it's too many small, unresolved financial decisions draining willpower.
Science shows that decision fatigue leads to avoidance, impulsive spending and missed opportunities.
P.T.
Barnum famously said, money is a terrible master, but an excellent servant.
Here's the takeaway.
Simplify before you scale.
What does that look like in action?
Pick one financial goal for the next 30 days, just one, and track only that.
No pressure to fix everything at once.
And remember, you're not bad with money.
You were just never taught how to use it.
You were taught how to earn it, not how to grow it.
You were taught how to spend it, but not how to invest it.
You were taught to chase it not how to make it work for you.
You weren't taught about investing only about surviving.
You learned to feel guilty when you had money and ashamed when you didn't.
You inherited stress, not strategy, and it's not your fault.
You didn't know, but it's your power to learn now.
Number six, your money beliefs aren't yours, they're inherited.
This is from a psych principle of cognitive scripts and money archetypes by Brad Klontz.
What we don't realize is we grow up absorbing money messages.
Maybe in your house, people always said, money's hard to make.
Rich people are greedy.
Or we don't talk about finances.
These unconscious scripts drive your habits until you rewrite them.
T. Harv Eker said, your money blueprints are not set in stone.
You can change them.
So here's the takeaway.
You can't change your future until you challenge your programming.
Write down three money beliefs you heard growing up.
What were the things your parents said?
What were the things your family members said?
What was the rhetoric around money?
And ask yourself, do these still serve me?
Then rewrite one.
Instead of saying money is selfish, write money is fuel for generosity.
Notice the difference.
You can change your relationship with money.
You can stop chasing it out of fear and start building it from wisdom.
You can stop using it to impress and start using it to invest.
You can stop hiding from your bank account and start owning every number.
You can stop saying I'm bad with money and start learning like your future depends on it, because it does.
You can rewrite the money stories you were raised on.
You can replace guilt with clarity.
You can replace shame with strategy, scarcity with intention.
It's not about how much you have, it's about how you treat it.
And how you treat money determines whether it stays or leaves.
Think about a partner.
Is your partner gonna stay if you don't respect them?
Is your partner going to stay if you don't invest in them?
Is your partner going to stay if you don't learn about them?
Is your partner going to stay if you avoid them?
No, money is exactly the same.
But why do we treat it so differently?
It's because of these narratives that we've built up since we were kids.
I grew up in a house where we always had just enough, which meant I looked at my bank account growing up with zero in it a lot.
I started working when I was 14.
I paid for my first phone bill, paid for my car, my car insurance.
I started paying for things very, very early in life.
But I was lucky to live with my parents, so I wasn't paying for rent.
But I started learning the value of money.
And I remember growing up just looking at my bank balance and seeing zero, because my money mindset was I need just enough.
Would I ever say I need just enough oxygen?
Imagine you had all the oxygen for the next three months in a bag.
And you were like, all right, I've only got three months, but I've got just enough for three months.
You wouldn't do that.
You'd be like, oh God, I need to figure out how to get more oxygen.
I need to have more available oxygen.
I can't live like that.
Money and oxygen are very similar like that.
And by the way, I've been there.
I've been nearly four months away from being broke.
I know what it feels like to be living paycheck to paycheck, with only enough money for rent and groceries.
Having been there, what I know is that there was a lot of fear.
There was a lot of stress.
It was because I was avoiding conversations about money.
I was avoiding looking at where the money was going.
It was just coming in and going out.
And I wasn't breaking it down.
If you're not aware of how much is being saved, how much is going for bills, if you're not budgeting, if you're not taking a look at this at a very basic level, you will always be scared.
I don't want you to be scared anymore.
Number seven, generosity multiplies wealth. not drains it.
We're taught to hoard money when stressed, but psychology shows that intentional generosity improves wellbeing, long-term wealth, mindset and even motivation.
People who give even small amounts are more optimistic and productive.
One of the things I love to see is I've been very fortunate over the last few years to lead some fundraisers.
We led one online during the pandemic for Give India and it was phenomenal to see so many of you jump in.
And it was because of people like yourself, who jumped in at 5 10, that we were able to raise over 5 million in 24 hours.
People often think, what will my $5 do?
What will my $10 do?
I promise you it makes a difference because what we need is a lot of people who give a little.
That great giving that happens connects us.
And I saw that in action.
I remember we did this live broadcast where we were raising money.
We had big donors who were matching it.
I had friends like Ray Dalio come in and give a million dollars to match whatever we were doing.
We had Indiaspora who were matching whatever we made as well.
But it was you who raised millions of dollars that then were matched by these other donors.
And that's what created this beautiful feeling of giving.
And one of the things I think about is If I have more, I have more to give.
It's a beautiful mindset to have, And that's what it is.
It's the responsibility of those who have more to give more.
That's what it's there for, And so you don't have to be greedy.
There's a famous quote that I've heard many, many times, And it says money just makes you more of who you are Right.
It just amplifies who you were in the first place.
A lot of us are scared to become wealthy because we're scared it might change our hearts.
I'm here to tell you that it will only make you more of who you are.
If you're a generous person, if you have more money, you'll just be more generous.
If you're a greedy, small-minded person, it will just make you more of that.
And so don't feel like it will change you.
It doesn't have to change you.
There's a famous Drake lyric that I love, where he said I like when money makes a difference, but doesn't make you different.
And that's what I think we have to approach it from is how can we use money to make a difference in our lives, the people that we love and people beyond?
So that's the takeaway.
And here's the action I want to leave you with here.
Give something small this week.
Five pounds, your time, a referral or a skill, all of that is giving.
Watch how your energy towards money shifts when it serves others as well.
Here's my final thought.
Money isn't just numbers.
It's emotion.
It's energy.
It's identity.
At 20, you're not too young to build wealth.
You're early enough to build it with wisdom.
Start with just one of these shifts today and remember the wealthiest people aren't always the ones who made the most money.
They're the ones who built the best relationship with money.
Let me know what resonated with you, what connected with you.
I'd love to do more episodes about our financial health and wellbeing.
I'm always approaching it from an energetic standpoint.
I have some amazing experts on the show giving you much more tactical practical, specific insights on what to do with your money.
Make sure you go and check out those episodes.
We've had everyone from Cody Sanchez to Jaspreet to many, many more.
Do not miss those episodes on financial wellbeing.
I'll see you very soon.
If you loved this episode, you will also love my interview with Charles Duhigg on how to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly and the secret to making better decisions.
Look, am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making the choice, because I'm scared of doing the work?
Or am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel right yet?
