What if the key to charisma isn't loud confidence or endless small talk, but a skill introverts already excel at?
In today's episode, discover a simple skill to amplify your executive presence and make people want to follow your lead.
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high-performing introverts, including you, social introverts where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned.
I am your host, Laura Camacho, your magical communication, executive presence coach, godmother and strategist.
And by the end of today's episode you'll know why sincere compliments are a game changer for building executive presence.
Two types of compliments to avoid like the plague and three powerful types of sincere compliments that boost your charisma and executive presence.
So these sincere compliments is just not about being nice.
It's a leadership superpower that signals you're ready for executive roles.
Why?
Because this kind of compliments I'm talking about show your insight into a person's actual contribution to the company.
And you need that skill.
You need to know whether and how a person is contributing compared to what their role demands of them.
Thoughtful, authentic praise.
You can demonstrate emotional intelligence, which is another key trait of executive presence.
A 2020 Harvard Business Review study identified emotional intelligence as critical for C-suite success.
So it's emotional intelligence and is actually reflecting your analytical ability into a person's contribution.
So you can use this skill to inspire, motivate and build trust.
The ability to ascertain this person's.
For introverts, this is especially powerful because you have a natural ability to observe deeply.
I'm sure you notice things that most people don't notice.
And that's your source for crafting compliments that resonate that position.
You as the leader who uplifts others without brown nosing, without being obsequious to use a 25 word or seeking the spotlight.
But first, I need to get these two compliments out of the way that you must avoid.
All right, appearance based compliments.
Only for people that you were very friendly with.
And still you need to be careful when you say oh, you look great today.
That can feel shallow.
That can risk trouble.
And it's not necessarily something the person controls, like somebody who had beautiful brown eyes.
OK, but you know what?
They were born that way.
If someone looks nice in a color, if they're a friend, you might say that color looks really good on you.
But even that, it's just asking for trouble.
So be careful about any appearance based compliments.
And then the second type is not that you need to avoid them like the plague really, but they're the vague generalizations like great job, appreciate that wonderful.
And it's not bad to say those things, but it's definitely not memorable.
It lacks specificity.
People are discounting that, so...
You can say it, but that's not what's going to get you the executive presence.
What you want to do is this.
Focus on compliments that add massive value to the conversation, because that's what executive presence is.
The way I coach this, especially in my executive presence mastery system.
It's all about adding more value.
And when you see that you're adding more value, you're naturally more confident.
All right.
So here, take note, three types of sincere compliments that will catapult your charisma.
And number one is effort-based compliments.
And you don't need to be a shrink to know that we all want effort to be recognized.
But a shrink that's kind of famous, Dr. Jordan Peterson, author of 12 Rules for Life.
In his podcast, he's always subtly complimenting in a very interesting way.
Like he might say, Oh, that's a profound way to frame that.
I can see you've thought deeply about this.
So what is the effort?
The effort is that he or she has thought deeply about the topic.
It's not even saying that there's agreement, just that.
Oh well, I can tell you've put some serious thought into this.
Effort-focused praise that builds rapport and highlights intellectual effort.
So the next time somebody does a task well, you could say something like your dedication to getting this done under such a tight deadline was impressive.
Or the way you took care of the details, the way you put together these slides with not too much information, the way you put together the appendices shows so much conscientiousness.
It makes my day, it makes my life easier.
It shows that you value their grind.
So number one, look to give compliments on someone's efforts.
And number two, compliments that draw out deeper insights.
Again, this is not just fluff.
This is value add value.
Compliments that invite connection, because they're based on deeper insights, are what will give you meaningful conversation.
The podcast master Joe Rogan is very exceptional here.
He'll say to someone, oh, the way you broke down that concept makes it so clear.
You have a gift for explaining tough stuff.
You know, tough stuff is not the language of intellectuals, but that's Joe Rogan.
He is highly intelligent and relatable.
And that's something that some of us that are I'll say some of you that are super smart.
Maybe you're not as relatable as you could be.
And you can use compliments to connect with people, but you want to take the compliment to encourage the behavior is number one, the effort.
But in number two, to point out something deeper, something more interesting, and that's going to make the person feel much more valued than if you just say oh, great job.
It's also going to lead to deeper conversation so you can say that's a fresh perspective.
That's really making me think.
Or wow, that question, that is a tough one.
I'm so glad you asked that, not only complimenting the effort, but it's pushing you.
If they're asking you a deep question or somebody's offering a different perspective, that's taking the conversation to a deeper level, which is usually very profitable.
All right.
Number three, and this is the secret sauce use compliments.
Give compliments that connect to impact.
One master of this is Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker and author of the five second rule.
She might say to a listener on her podcast, hey, you're showing up and trying that new habit.
That's real bravery.
So she's not only praising the effort, but she's pointing out that that is took place.
Courage, and that's vulnerability.
She gave a 2011 ted talk, showing this style, how it inspires action.
It's not just fluffiness.
And then there is sarah blakely.
She's the founder of spanx.
If you are a man, you may not know that spanx makes a special type of undergarment for women.
She's built a billion dollar company.
I see her as a compliment queen because she is known for the way she praises her employees.
So praising the people that work for you in a way that shows them that you see them not general but specific is going to build your executive presence.
So here's an example.
Your idea to personally respond to customer emails with such empathy has completely transformed the way we connect with our customers.
Or in a LinkedIn post she added.
She wrote I'm blown away by how John Smith or Joanna Smith streamlined our inventory process.
You saved us weeks with this super smart solution.
Is Sarah a genius?
She connected the compliment to impact, which makes it unforgettable.
So telling someone on your team hey, your quick thinking on that project deadline was a game changer for the whole team.
That's highlighting the impact.
Connecting to impact is the secret sauce for powerful executive presence in compliments and in everything.
But today we're talking about compliments.
So as an introvert, you have a superpower and that is deep observation.
So use that to craft original, impactful compliments to showcase your social intelligence and your insight into people's contributions.
People want to be around you. people who see others.
It's not a matter of you being a doormat by saying, oh, you're so good.
Oh, that's so amazing.
None of that.
Starting today, I want you to try to give one sincere, specific compliment daily and see the impact.
Again, or three examples, your creative solution to this issue was a total standout.
I'm impressed by how you stayed calm when that person was pushing back on what you said, or your approach to this saved us so much time.
Thank you for your brilliant work.
Track it and let me know how it goes.
Again, just to recap, the three types of compliments are number one, effort-based.
Number two, compliments that draw deeper insights.
And number three, compliments that connect to impact.
This is going to magnify your executive presence.
If you want to see how you score and all the skills you need to reach that next level of executive presence, I have a scorecard.
It's linked in the show notes.
It's 15 questions based on the four pillars of my executive presence mastery system.
And it's designed to help you pinpoint where your opportunities are and where your strengths are.
Have a fantastic day.
Thank you for listening and I will catch you on the next episode.
