Grownups, February can be a tough month for homeschool families.
Short days, busy schedules, and our bodies telling us to hibernate.
Or maybe that's just me.
Well, IXL helps keep learning consistent, focused, and moving forward without stress.
IXL is an award-winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling.
They offer interactive practice across math, language arts, science and social studies from pre-K through 12th grade.
IXL personalizes learning for each child, keeping them engaged and keeping parents informed.
One of my kids will draw all day but struggles to sit down and write words, while the other one reads constantly but has very little motivation for math.
And I love that with IXL you can find a program that meets your kid where they are and helps them grow from there.
Your kids get quick, clear explanations, while you get detailed reports telling you exactly how they're progressing.
IXL uses small celebrations, awards and progress markers to help keep kids engaged even during the winter slump.
Make an impact on your child's learning.
Get IXL now.
And What If World listeners can get an exclusive 20 off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixlcom slash?
What if?
Visit ixl.com slash what if to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.
Hey there folks, and welcome back to What If World, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off-the-cuff stories.
I'm Mr. Eric, your host.
And today we're starting off with a question from a listener named Denim.
Hi, my name is Denim and one thing I really like is reading books, and I like reading encyclopedias for fun.
And my question is that what if Fred the Dog became a math wizard and what if JLCat became a reading rocket and they actually became a math wizard and a rocket?
I also like Making graphic novels and playing with my sister that likes to eat my ear.
Bye.
Wow, Denim.
All that reading must have given you a super-powered imagination.
Or maybe it was your sister eating your ear.
Denim is one of those listeners who, like many of you, has been sending in questions for over a year.
I want to take this moment to thank Denim and all of you kids for sharing your imagination.
Miss Lynn and I spend hours every week reading and listening to your questions.
And while we can't use every wonderful idea, we hear you and we are grateful.
Now, folks, I'll have you know that Denim is one of many math fans who listen to What If World.
We've got another question to share from Shabba Raleigh.
What if?
Everyone in Waterworld knew their timetables.
In math.
Timetables?
Okay.
Get ready for some multiplication, kiddos.
And thanks, Shabarali.
Now we've got one quick question to add on from Jacob.
Hi, my name is Jacob.
I'm eight years old, and I was wondering what if someone could see math?
Oh, we are cooking.
I'm not one of those people who can do complicated arithmetic in my head, so I'd really love that superpower.
Okay, we've got one times three math questions today, so... It's three time already?
You got to go pick up the kids from school, Mr. Eric.
Oh, hi, Fred.
No, I was doing an exceedingly lame math joke to try to transition into the story.
Math?
Who needs it?
Mmm, everyone, actually.
Not me.
Someone once told me that numbers go all the way past for teenager.
And I was like, nope.
It's 13, Fred.
And I told you that on your 15th birthday.
Agree to disagree.
That's not how math works.
Cause I say so.
Oh, Fred.
So let's find out, what if Fred the Dog became a math whiz somehow and JFK became a reading rocket?
Someone can see math and everyone in What If World knew their times tables in math.
You can't keep time on your table, Mr. Eric, it's too fast!
Your story starts after a quick break.
If you're new to What If World, then welcome.
And if you've been listening for a while, you may have heard our three-part Adopt-a-Fred story from last summer.
It was a wild ride and near the end a pair of talking khaki pants named Dancy Pansy nearly took over the world.
Fortunately, two firmer presidents helped him re-cat sitter.
Wow, Jeffcat.
That was four kitty words in one sentence said Furred the dog cat considerably impressed.
Okay, we get it.
Yes, indeed.
J.F.
Cat and Fred the Dog decided to take Dancy Pansy under their paw.
Wing!
I mean paw.
Sorry, you said the thing I thought you was going to not say.
Jojo Fluffy Cat.
If you keep interrupting, Mr Eric, we'll never find a place to live, said Dancy Pansy.
His beige khaki fabric was covered in black and white fur from Fred the Dog and JFK who cuddled up with him every night.
It had been pleasant at first, but... They trade off sleeping on my legs and face all night?
Do you have any idea what that's like?
I most definitely do, Dancy.
Then do something about it!
Now, who's the one interrupting Mr. Eric?
Said Fred, coming to my defense for a change.
And letting that for a change remark pass for a change.
You see, while they'd stayed in a few different places over the last six months, nothing had felt quite right.
This bale of hay keeps getting eaten by goats.
This bridge keeps getting trolled by trolls.
Your bridge hardly has any slugs at all.
God, this mansion smells like fresh laundry.
Enjoy your artisanal monogrammed extra fancy bespoke stick, Sir Fred.
What?
I can't eat a stick that bespeaks?
No, I don't mind, really.
That last place was a free mansion with a magic butler.
And it didn't stink at all.
Fred, Dancy Pansy, and J.F.
Cat were starting to wonder if they'd ever find a place to live.
So they did what lots of people do when faced with a big, confusing problem.
They went to the library!
Okay, listen up, said Parsha Parchment.
Unlike most characters in What If World, she'd grown up.
Since her introduction.
In Episode 62, Benjamin asks what if paper airplanes stayed in the air forever?
That's probably why her voice sounded a bit different now.
You've been living at the library for a week, and one of you keeps chewing on our hardcovers!
The librarian had grown into an adult-sized ball of paper and folded herself into a big frowning face as she spoke.
Yeah, but your suggestion box is full of requests for more sticks in the library.
We live next to a forest.
But it's cold out there.
We thought that maybe we could live at the library forever.
Sorry, no.
Our libraries serve as shelters for all during the day, and we librarians serve our communities in many ways.
We still need to close at night and not have our books eaten.
What?
Fred, not eating books is pretty much the first rule of library etiquette.
Let's go.
The trio made their way to the exit, but Parsha rolled in front of them before they could leave.
But have you three ever thought of reading any of our books?
To what end?
To deepen your knowledge of the world, entertain and enrich yourself, discover information and ideas you never knew existed.
But how do I get that stuff out of the books without eating them?
You just rent them from the library.
And then what?
You open the book.
And then what?
You start reading it.
And then what?
You turn the page.
And then what?
You read the next page.
You keep reading like that.
You finish the book.
You think about what you read.
You put those ideas into practice.
You figure out which idea serves you best.
Come up with ideas of your own.
Try out those ideas in the real world.
Read some more books.
Do all those other things again.
And again.
And again and again.
Your whole life, always growing and rediscovering yourself in our eternal search for shared truth and beauty.
And then what?
I don't know.
I feel that way all the time.
But as Parsha Parchment rolled away in bewilderment, the three would-be roommates explored the library in earnest, hoping they'd learn enough to find somewhere to live.
Oh, wow.
Turning pages with my rough paw is almost as satisfying as knocking a glass off a table.
Perchance even Meowso, when the words are so good.
And I've discovered the Quibi app, which has virtually unlimited free audiobooks and supports your local library.
Much like the Libby app in what is world.
That must be great for you since you don't have eyes, but your pants pockets work like ears.
As long as I keep my keys out of them.
And I found a spell book that makes me a wizard without any work at all.
Hmm.
The six-second math magician?
How does that pertain to... But Fred the Dog was already chanting a spell from the book.
Quick fix and dirty tricks make me good at counting sticks.
That incantation was absurdly specific.
Fred the Dog was suddenly wearing an adorable wizard robe of pure black fabric with white glowing numbers, letters and mathematical symbols shifting around its surface like geometrical fireflies.
Sounds like you've been reading library books too, Mr. Eric.
It's all so simple now, said Fred wonderingly, as many of these symbols floated off of his robe and rearranged themselves before his eyes.
According to a 2024 federal census, there were 771480 unhoused people in this country and 15215 million vacant homes.
That's approximately 19.7 empty dwellings for every person without one.
If our government bought and built public housing, everyone could have a home.
So 20 times 750,000-ish equals, um, we get a home?
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Good point.
And as Fred prepared to unleash his arithmagical powers, Parsha rolled back toward their library table saying Just one thing in our world of magic, in frequent imaginary disasters, we ask that you always use your library knowledge responsibly.
What'd you say I didn't hear?
Now my magic's everywhere!
That's a slant rhyme at best, quipped JFK, turning the page of his poetry book as... Aw, Fred.
Cascading waves of magic crashed over everyone in the library before spilling over into the forest beyond and the rest of what-if world.
My goodness!
I... I... I know my multiplication tables!
Me too!
I even get why we call them times tables with an S when it's usually just one table!
But no one knows that!
It's an inscrutable dialectic phenomenon!
Also, I can turn into a rocket.
And I know division!
It's like multiplication backwards!
And harder.
Buy things cooler, said JFK, turning into a rocket ship, causing tables and bookshelves to tip and crash as he grew.
Oh no, the journey of learning is meant to be difficult.
There is no greater threat to humanity than knowledge without wisdom.
But we are too many.
You're a ball of paper, he's a pair of pants.
I'm a rocket ship who loves to read.
JF Rockat was flipping through an atlas with a little fluffy paw at the end of a long robotic arm.
All these places have their own libraries so if i crash into them we can read all their books.
With at least a thousand books per librarian, about two million libraries in the world, that's at least billion books.
But a lot of those books will be the same, or just translations in different editions.
What am I saying?
You can't crash your rocket ship into libraries.
But crashing's faster than landing.
It's math.
JF Rockhatch lowered his cargo door.
Fred and Dancy climbed in, and Parsha rolled after them as everyone else fled the library.
Get me outta here!
The one day I get transformed into a snail.
The cargo door closed and the rocket took off into the sky.
Fortunately it was a reading rocket fueled by words, so it didn't completely obliterate the library and all its inhabitants in a fiery storm of-.
Stop talking, Mr Eric.
You're fueling the rocket!
Algebra, geometry...
Calc and trigonometry.
And as they took up into the sky, all the books below them began to rise as well, arranging themselves in mathematical order according to the Dewey Decimal System.
If all the world's a knowledge tree, it adds up to one stick for me.
Row after row of books lined up and condensed themselves as more flew in from all over the world.
Turning into one enormous math stick.
I've created a math monster.
It's more efficient to say mathster.
What?
But it makes less sense.
A mathster could just be someone who enjoys math.
Or a cute little math hamster that we keep as a pet in our rocket ship house.
Which is also me.
So you won't have to worry about me eating the hamster.
Because it's already in your belly.
It's perfect.
It's madness.
Yes, it is perfect.
Now you've got a place to live.
So just land your rocket ship, put down your spell book, Fred, and come take off that robe.
Okay.
Oh, that was easy.
Yeah, well, it wasn't really a math stick.
And even if it was, who'd want to chew that?
Unless... Okay, out of the robes we go!
And as Fred's cursed robe came off, the spell was broken-ish.
Like every what-if made real, this one brought change.
Fred couldn't see math like he used to, but he still remembered some of what he learned.
And that's why President Pixie Catto...
You need to support public housing and public transportation, and healthcare and universal basic income.
While you're at it,
I'll get started as soon as you and JFKat stop snuggling me in my bed.
Then next fursday it is.
Thursday is not a day.
As for Tansy Pansy, it didn't take much multiplication to figure out that a lot of people in What If World couldn't see and loved to read.
And that's why I think a little access technology will go a long way toward making your library a better experience for all us blind and low vision folks.
I agree.
Have you ever considered working as a librarian?
Are you offering me a job?
Yes.
Let's start by fixing the rocket ship hole in our ceiling.
Oh, right.
Here's the spackle.
Can you fix a giant hole with spackle?
You'll just have to read up on it.
Hooray!
The end.
There you have it, folks.
Shabarali, Jacob, and Denim.
Thank you for your questions, and I hope you all enjoyed your story.
Folks at home.
If you could learn all about one subject by just snapping your fingers, what would it be?
And what would you do once you were an expert?
How might you use your newfound knowledge and skill to help and amaze your community?
Now, how could you start learning about that subject today?
Maybe with a little help from your grown-up? talk it over with them and who knows maybe it'll inspire your next what if question when you're ready and you've got their permission email hello at whatifworldpodcast.com with your written question audio recording fan art you name it grown-ups you can support our show by going to whatifworldpodcast.com slash support to hear all of what if world ad free and get monthly bonus episodes too I'd like to thank Karen O'Keefe, my co-creator, my producer, Miss Lynn, Craig Martinson for our theme song, and all you kids at home who know we can read, imagine, and grow our whole lives with a little help from our local library.
And until we meet again, keep wondering.
