This episode is sponsored by Wayfair.
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Hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.
Today is episode 380, finding what you need when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Since overwhelmed can come in different forms and for very different reasons, it's so hard to know what to do next when we're feeling that way.
This episode actually reminds me a lot of episode 258 the seven kinds of rest and how to know which one you need because we say like, oh, I'm so tired.
And we think the answer is rest. But like what kind, you know?
There are several kinds because we're tired for different reasons and need different things.
the same is true for feeling overwhelmed.
To put us in context on the different things that we might need for different kinds of overwhelm, let me set the stage.
Guess what today is?
It's the first day of school for my children.
And because podcasts are podcasts, I obviously am not recording this on that actual day.
So I don't fully know how I'm feeling today, but I can guess, it has been a wild last few weeks.
I do know that. But you know, we're doing open houses and getting school supplies and going to the doctor.
Kaz has gone back to work.
You know, he's home for several weeks during the summer because he's a school counselor and he has gone back to work.
So I am solo again.
I'm trying to plan a book launch and also like carpools, you know, while I have gotten a couple of, uh, like small stretches of alone time in my own house, which is my favorite thing.
Y 'all, I am so overstimulated like so overstimulated.
It reminds me of a meme I saw recently about motherhood specifically how mothering in the morning is like the fairy godmother in Cinderella, like sweetly sang to Cinderella.
Oh, come now, dry those tears.
And then mothering in the evening is the sea witch saying to the little mermaid, no more talking, singing, zip.
Remember that I'm like absolutely the sea witch in my heart.
I would also like to add no more touching to the list as well.
So this is a time of year that is naturally overwhelming in various ways.
But you could 100 % be overwhelmed by non kid, non start of school things too.
You know, not everyone has kids or school, we feel underwater because of logistics and emotions behaviors we can't and ourselves or in other people.
Grief, resentment, exhaustion, simply not knowing what to do next.
It can be a pervasive sense of overwhelm or one that just like pops up randomly on what you thought was like a pretty good day.
So when you feel overwhelmed without knowing what to do, that overwhelming feeling, it stays big and it might get even bigger, which then feels like a problem, right?
Right? And what do we know about big problems?
They need big solutions.
And what do we know about big solutions?
They don't work. They don't work.
So here you are, overwhelmed, unsure of what to do about it.
The feeling gets bigger and then the problem, even though it's unnamed, also gets bigger.
So you start throwing big solutions at an unnamed problem which doesn't work.
And then that causes you to feel more overwhelmed.
It's like the worst cycle ever.
So instead, today, I want to share with you seven ways to meet your overwhelm and listen to me right now.
I did not plan this.
They all start with P.
It is not my fault.
It's just outlined up.
I will also not complain about it.
So these are seven things that happen to start with the letter P, and if you are overwhelmed, I guarantee you that one of these things is your answer, okay?
So So we're going to go through these seven things as you find what you need when you're feeling overwhelmed.
The first thing you might need when you're feeling overwhelmed is to pivot.
Everybody has unexpected things that come up that require attention, that need some kind of immediate response.
So if you are situationally overwhelmed, right, if the stress is rooted exactly where you are and what's happening around you, chances are the thing that you need the most right then is to pivot.
You need to let go of whatever expectations that you had and change direction.
Now, hear me, this is not always easy.
Pivoting isn't easy or even intuitive sometimes.
Pivoting is not just solving a problem where you are.
I think pivoting also involves staying grounded, staying connected to yourself, staying as kind to your people as you can and solving the problem and right where you are.
And that's actually like kind of hard to do if you don't know how to do it.
Fortunately for you, I have an episode all about pivoting.
It's episode three 10, how to pivot around any obstacle.
We will have a link in the show notes.
It is a low -key fan favorite episode.
The way to pivot around any obstacle is to, number one, breathe.
I mean, it's annoying advice, but here you go.
Number two, actively seek softness.
Three, name what matters.
four, make the problem smaller, five, put what you need in its place, six, stay connected to yourself.
And then seven, ask the magic question.
Again, all those are broken down in much detail in episode 310, but if you just breathe and actively seek softness and then name what matters, wow, you're going to be able to pivot around pretty much anything regular and daily that sneaks up on you.
So that's the first P that you might need when you're feeling overwhelmed.
If you're situationally overwhelmed, focus on pivoting.
Just focus on pivoting.
The second thing you might need when you're feeling overwhelmed is to problem solve, right?
This is when you're overwhelmed by something that is repeatedly frustrating.
Maybe it's dishes that never get clean, laundry that never gets done, projects that never get finished.
Now I'm gonna address something real quick here.
Did you hear anything mildly concerning in that last series in that sentence?
I did it on purpose.
it is the word never.
Dishes that never get cleaned, laundry that never gets done, projects that never get finished, never is not a terribly kind word, okay.
It's also rarely true.
When you classify your frustrations with words like always and never, you automatically make them too big.
And as we've already said, it's pretty hard to solve big problems, right.
However, anything at all that consistently has you frustrated, it just might need a good problem solve.
You might not need to calm down too much. You might not need to take a nap and regroup.
You legit just need to solve a problem that's been bugging you for a while.
Once again, problems are the easiest to solve the smaller they are.
So whatever you do, try and make that problem as small as you can.
One small solution might not solve your entire problem, but it gives you a place to start and you'll be more likely to find something that works long -term for the the whole problem.
I have a favorite way to solve problems, it's called the lazy genius method.
If you have something that tends to cause trouble over and over again it might get a good solve by applying a single lazy genius principle but chances are you need something a bit more comprehensive.
The lazy genius method is a process you follow to make that happen.
If you have never heard me talk about the lazy genius method, you are new here.
Welcome. I'm so glad you're here.
Or if you just need a good primer, you know, a reminder of what it is and how it works.
Listen to episode 259, five steps to lazy genius anything.
First, you prioritize or name what matters.
Second, you essentialize or get rid of what's in the way.
Third, you organize or put everything in its place.
Fourth, you personalize or feel like yourself.
And flow. By following this order, you won't miss anything that could make you solve problems that aren't really the problem, you know?
And it also will keep you from using up energy or brain space on things that you will have to undo later.
This really is your best bet if you need to problem solve.
So if you're feeling overwhelmed by a repetitive problem that needs some attention, and solve it.
That's our second pee.
Problem solved. This episode is sponsored by Lume.
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This episode is sponsored by Earth breeze.
This year I am being more intentional about what and how often we recycle things in our home including really trying to reduce single -use plastics.
It's easy to think that small choices in your home won't make a big difference for the environment but of course around here we value starting small.
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The third P that might help you when you're feeling overwhelmed is to pause.
Pause. If you resonate when I say that I have a caffeinated squirrel brain, this one is definitely for you.
It is just so easy to plow ahead, you know, to like react and respond to stay in the overwhelm and let it spiral when what we really need is to just pause, I find myself pausing when I'm feeling emotionally or relationally overwhelmed.
For example, if I get into a shouting match with my almost high school or over undone assignments that I thought were done, I can get rolling really quickly.
It's one of the things I have to be the kindness, the kindest to myself about and ask my kids forgiveness the most about.
I can get really angry.
I can move quickly.
I can escalate and start escalations and others unless I pause.
Sometimes the only answer to feeling overwhelmed is to pause, to stop, breathe, give your intellect and wisdom a chance to catch up to your adrenaline.
Not every moment of overwhelm needs a pause.
But I think if you are emotionally heightened, whether it's external and obvious or internal and withdrawn, a pause seems like an important thing to prioritize.
A lot can be saved with a good pause.
I think one way to keep pauses on your mind is by getting in the practice of noticing and responding to yourself on a daily basis.
When you are in a rhythm of awareness and kindness you have a quicker and more natural access to your ability to pause.
If that's you maybe a good episode for you to check out is episode 80, The Lazy Genius Daily Act of Kindness.
It is an oldie but a goodie.
Sometimes we need the reminder that doing something for ourselves every day is kind, Dare I say necessary.
And it also creates muscle memory for us to notice what we need.
And sometimes what we need is to pause.
The fourth P that you might need when you feel overwhelmed is to pray.
Now, this is not for everybody obviously, because not everybody prays.
And frankly, I'm not going to say much more than just the word, but this is your reminder that if you are a person of faith and that faith matters to you, when you feel overwhelmed, maybe you would feel better if you pray.
Some things need to pivot.
it, some things need a problem solved.
Some things need a pause and maybe depending on who you are and what you believe you might need to pray you'll feel more connected to what matters to you if you do the fifth P that you might need when you feel overwhelmed is to play y 'all maybe you need to play maybe the overwhelm is because you haven't experienced anything fun or joyful or playful and too long.
So if life just feels too heavy and serious, and that is why you feel overwhelmed, try playing.
Move your body, give those laugh lines a workout, do something child -like.
Play an actual game with somebody.
Play. If you need a little episode boost here, try Episode 306.
What What we need to have more fun.
The sixth P you might need when you're feeling overwhelmed is a plan.
Y 'all. Sometimes you actually do need a plan.
Even though I talk a lot about how learning to pivot is better than learning to plan, that doesn't mean that planning is bad.
Planning is amazing.
Planning just needs a makeover.
It needs more compassion.
It needs more common sense and it needs more women, frankly.
In case you weren't aware, I wrote a time management book with all of those things, it's called the plan.
So, if you need a plan, that book has some great help for you.
But if you need a plan right now before the book is out on October 8th, because we still have to wait for it, just remember that plans are intentions.
They are not pass fail.
The more you believe that and live like it's true, the better your plans are going to be.
And the kinder you're going to be toward yourself when your plans don't work out the exact way that you hoped.
So if you're feeling overwhelmed by something in the future, something unknown, something that has lots of disconnected moving parts, maybe what you need is a plan.
And then the final P that you might need when you feel overwhelmed is a pep talk.
A pep talk is simply a reminder of what matters spoken to you by someone who believes in you.
And that person can totally be you.
I pep talk myself all the time.
You know, be your own Leslie, nope.
Pep talk yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed by insecurity, by imposter syndrome, shame, guilt, give yourself a pep talk.
Again, I do it all the time.
I do it so much that I'm actually giving pep talks every single week for the rest of 2024 deal for real.
Now you might think that I already sort of do give a pep talk every week with this podcast, but not quite.
We mostly problem -solve here of all those seven peas.
That's mostly what we do is we problem solve.
Now we do learn to do all the other peas, you know, every Monday, but the main purpose of this podcast is to solve problems through a very particular lazy genius lens.
Not really to give pep talks.
Also pep talks are way shorter than these 20 to 30 minute episodes.
Today's is actually a little shorter, but pep talks are usually a lot, like two to three minutes.
you know? So how do you get these weekly pep talks?
Um, they are technically called our pre -order pep talks since they are the thank you gift for pre -ordering the plan before it comes out on October 8th.
Thousands of you have already done that and I am blown away.
Thank you so much. Y 'all are just as excited for this book as I am, but it is a big deal to buy a book before you can see it, before you can flip through it, before you can hear if a friend liked it already, you know, it's a blind buy.
That's a huge deal.
So to say thank you for ordering before you see it and for putting your trust in me I am offering both written and audio versions of pep talks delivered to you every Monday for the rest of the actual year.
Are you tired of your people?
Pep talk. Are you suddenly stressed out?
Because it's almost December?
Pep talk. Are you feeling all kinds of feelings because it's election week?
Pep talk. Are you struggling to be kind to yourself?
pep talk. All you have to do is go to the lazygeniescollective .com the plan, which is literally where everything regarding the plan lives.
You enter your order information, which means any format of the book purchased from any place that includes books that you bought to attend a book tour event, by the way.
And then after you submit that information, you're going to get access to the weekly pep talks delivered every Monday.
You can even get them automatically to your favorite podcast app.
If you would prefer to listen rather than read.
I'm so pumped about them.
Again, you can do all that at the lazy genius collective .com slash the plan.
Okay? Let's recap our seven peas.
When you are feeling overwhelmed, you might need and almost certainly need different things, depending on the type of overwhelm that you are experiencing.
Okay. So is there situational overwhelm you pivot?
Do you have a repeatedly frustrating situation?
Problem -solve. Are you overwhelmed emotionally?
Pause. Are you a person of faith?
Pray. Does life feel extra heavy?
Play. Are you overwhelmed by what's coming?
Plan. Do you just need a reminder of what matters?
Peptoc yourself? Or get one from me?
There's actually a pep talks in the book by the way, and that is how to find what you need when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Okay, before we go let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week.
This week it is Karen Simmons.
Karen writes this, I keep a great big dry erase marker in the center console of my car above every mirror in my house and strapped to the side of my fridge.
Every shiny hard surface becomes a place where you can jot down a note.
You can make your grocery list right on the fridge and then just take a picture when you're ready to go shopping.
If you're low on gas when you get to work just note on the windshield gas before you get out and you won't find yourself in heavy traffic and unknown territory with your car pinging at you that you're on E.
Every mirror becomes a place where you can just say I love you to the people in your home.
It has been such a stress relieving life hack.
Holy moly. This is fantastic.
I love a person so dedicated to dry rice markers.
It's like Oprah shouting and you get a car and you get a car and you're gonna call it, but instead, it's Karen Simmon shouting, and you get an I love you, and you get an I love you, and you get a dry erase marker, and you get a dry erase marker.
This is seriously so fantastic, I just love it.
Karen, this is a joyful, wise, and savvy way to use markers, frankly.
I almost want to be low on gas, so I can write gas on my windshield, just for how it feels, like this is so great.
So thank you for sharing this idea and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week.
If you would like to be considered for the lazy genius of the week, email us your idea at hello at the LazyGenius Collective .com.
This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer, and Angela Kinsey.
The Lazy Genius Podcast is enthusiastically part of The Office Ladies Network.
Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production.
Thanks y 'all for listening, and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.
I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week.
I'm Jordan Robinson, host of the new podcast, The Women's Hoop Show.
Each episode I'll be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk WNBA, college hoops, the new Unrivaled League and the shifting landscape of the sport.
The game is growing and so are we.
Listen to and follow the Women's Hoop Show and Odyssey podcast available now for free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.
