How do you feel about biscuits hi, I'm Akilah Hughes And I'm so excited about my new podcast rebel spirit where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky And try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot the rebels into something everyone in the South loves the biscuits I was a lady rebel
like what does that even mean?
It's right here in black and white in Prince a lie bigger than a flag or mascot Listen to rebel spirit on the I heart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts I'm Cheryl swoops and I'm Tariqah foster brassby and on our new podcast We're talking about the real obstacles women face day
to day because no matter who you are There are levels to what we experience as women and T and I have no problem going there Listen to levels to this with Cheryl swoops and Tariqah foster brassby and I heart women's sports production in partnership with B blue sports You can find us on the I heart radio
app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast Want to know how to leverage culture to build a successful business Then butter namix is the podcast for you.
I'm your host Brandon Butler founder and CEO of butter ATL You know butter namix we go deep with today's most influential entrepreneurs Innovators and business leaders to peel back the layers on how they use culture as the driving force in their business Butter namix will give you what you need to take
your game to the next level Listen to butter namix on the I heart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast Are you looking for more purpose Do you care about living a life of well -being?
Are you interested in universal wisdom and spirituality?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I think you'd love my personal newsletter weekly wisdom I've been sending it out every Thursday for the last four years I cover a wide variety of topics that contribute to our daily well -being and happiness relationships self -love Spirituality confidence
work and career heartbreak emotional intelligence and so much more The goal here is simple I want you to be able to read this newsletter every week and feel a little better About whatever you're going through in your life and a little more healed from the things that have hurt you in the past If I write
just one sentence that helps you in any way, then I will have done my job Well, if you'd like to start receiving my newsletter in your inbox every Thursday Just go to Jay Shetty newsletter .com.
That's Jay Shetty newsletter .com The newsletter is 100 % free and you can unsubscribe at any time I hope you'll join me on this journey sending you so much love You know, you're with the right person When they don't rely on you for everything and you don't rely on them for everything they love the fact
that you have other friends other connections family members that you open your heart to and You respect the fact that they have people in their life that they turn to You don't feel insecure about the fact that they open their heart to someone else but you and They don't feel upset about the fact that you
may share your heart with someone else Because what you truly want is for you and the other person to feel supported feel cared for and Ultimately that you both want what's best for each other the number one health and wellness podcast I Everyone welcome back to on purpose Thank you so much for tuning
in to another episode with me your host Jay Shetty I am so grateful so honored and so happy that you chose to spend the next just under 30 minutes with me for one of our workshops and today's session is all about What to do if you're still not over your ex it might have been 10 hours It might be 10
days Maybe it's 10 months or maybe it's even 10 years and you're still not over your ex You keep checking them up on Instagram.
You're always asking your friends about what they're up to Maybe you even go back and look at their Facebook account Whatever it is, you're still obsessed You're still connected and you're not able to truly move on and when I talk about moving on There's two types of moving on one type of moving on is the type
of moving on what we say We've moved on when people ask us we say yeah, of course I've moved on it's been 10 years.
It's been 10 months Come on.
I'm over it. And then there's the moving on where The person becomes such a distant memory that we feel like it was another lifetime like they were with a completely different version of us and that that part of us doesn't even exist anymore and A lot of us want to get to that second place That sounds
enticing. It sounds exhilarating to think that maybe I could get to a point one day Where the person feels like a distant memory, but I'm here to tell you this It's absolutely normal to feel like you're not over your ex.
It doesn't make you weak It doesn't make you someone who's got it all wrong.
It doesn't mean that you don't have a future It doesn't mean that you'll never get over them, but it's extremely extremely normal and there's a lot of people who after experiencing a breakup can actually get sick they can feel depressed and Research shows that that level of pain can actually be justified
it can actually be really difficult to move on from those feelings and according to neuro ethicist Nicole Vincent the emotions you feel and build on in a Relationship are brought about by a range of different Neurochemicals now this study blew my mind when I first read about it So listen to this carefully
some of the things that you Experience when you end a relationship are not dissimilar to the withdrawal from drugs and drug addiction take a second to recognize that detoxing from drugs and Disconnecting from an individual can have some similar experiences when you do stocksing from drugs you almost
feel this Connection to this thing and when you're disconnecting from a human, you feel like you're actually craving them, right?
they can be this craving this yearning the seeking this searching this wanting and That's actually quite normal.
Now. This statement is also supported by professor Paxson us who says The suspicion is that some of the same chemicals that are involved in other neural rewards Such as eating are engaged in presumably Something like the withdrawal from drugs is happening when the person loses the loved one.
That's what he says now Vincent categorizes relationship emotions into attraction which brings up chemistry in those types of feelings and attachment and affection and attachment and affection He says we're actually created To from an evolutionary perspective to keep couples together So that they would actually
stay together until the children were old enough to live by themselves Fascinating to think about it from an evolutionary standpoint.
Our chemicals were designed so that we would stay together So that the kids we have would be adults who could take care of themselves Now that blows my mind because it just shows us that when you go through a breakup, you're now dealing with this Extreme breakdown of chemicals.
So now I'm hoping you have compassion for yourself You have empathy for yourself You also have compassion and empathy for maybe your friend who just doesn't get over that breakup and you keep looking at them going Come on get over it now.
It's been a time, right?
Maybe you even sent this to a friend because you're like, hey, I think it's about time you got over that breakup well, this is the reality of how difficult is and Due to the fact that humans are now living much longer that attachment and affection actually Stops earlier, which is why we experience more
breakups now This is really really important because what Vincent points out is that if someone's addicted to drugs one of the biggest changes required is their circumstances their surroundings their environment and I think this is something we often underestimate We often underestimate how much a change
of scenery can change our lives especially when that scenery is connected to memories feelings and emotions So actually going away for a vacation Taking a three -day break Taking seven days and going and living with your friend who just moved to the other side of the city or moved to the other Side of the country
can be massively beneficial Right if you've gone through a breakup and you're finding it hard to shake it off It's so important to change your surroundings to change your environment and so many of us underestimate the power of what that can actually do Now listen to this because I'm sure all of you
have seen this before that places can trigger bad memories Because the brain associates the place with a traumatic event or an unpleasant experience Now in the dating sense it might actually trigger a positive memory, right?
Maybe you always used to go to this one restaurant for dinner.
Maybe used to always go to this one theater.
Maybe You had your first date on this one Street, whatever it may be right now whenever you're on that road Whenever you're in that restaurant, whenever you're going into that store You're thinking of this person and that now creates that positive memory creates negative emotions The negative emotion of I'll
never have that again.
Oh how amazing it used to be Oh, how wonderful it was and research shows that the brain stores sensory stimuli from events such as sights sounds and smells And when these sensory triggers are experienced again, the brain can actually reactivate the feelings Associated with it.
So if there was your favorite Pasta or pizza that you used to have together and now you smell it again And all of a sudden it reminds you of that same emotion and experience Right and we all go through this but we don't think about changing these simple things changing our environment Changes our experience
Like let me give an example.
It's it's nasty, but I have to be honest with you I remember once going on a flight and It was a long flight like maybe it was like 10 hours I think I was going from LA to London or something like that And I ended up having a Thai green curry on the plane and I think you already know where this is going
I had the worst food poisoning Pretty much immediately after we had the meal like when we just got on the flight And for the next seven to eight hours, it was not cute.
That's all I'm gonna say It was not cute and I must have visited the restroom like 20 times and I felt terrible for everyone else as well I apologize if you were on that flight now What happened was I'm not kidding you and and I was just constantly I remember Shivering and I was like I need them to
bring me blankets and they had to you know they kind of believed me by the end of the flight one hour before I remember rather holding the sick bag for me to throw up next to me and The reason I'm telling you all of this is literally for the next week whenever I got on a plane I felt sick and till this day
this was probably like five years ago till this day I can't eat Thai green curry.
That's how the brain messes with environments, right?
That's that's literally how it works I I genuinely never want to be around a Thai green curry if you invite me over dinner No Thai green curry, right and I like Thai food So it's got nothing to do with that But my memory now of that experience that scent the look everything is from that flight That's
what our brains doing in a really deep way When it comes to a pain or a pleasure that we shared with this person We have the pleasurable memories and we then have pain and because of the pleasurable memories so Changing our environment is everything.
There's a reason why we say Block the account on social media Unfollow, right don't go hang out with the same group of friends.
Don't go drive past their house Don't go drive past the way they work Don't go and hang out in the places you usually go on to because all of it will trigger some pleasurable memory Which then will create an unpleasant feeling because it reminds you of that which you don't have anymore It's as simple
as that break that pattern break your habits, right?
It's so important to break that pattern Break that pattern of where you're traveling break that pattern of what you're listening to break that pattern of what you see here smell Taste everything it's gonna break that mental pattern that you've got lost into Okay I am so excited about this because we've
got the first ever Merch drop for on purpose.
It's finally here and for world mental health today We're doing an exclusive limited edition drop with all the proceeds going to the National Alliance on mental illness NAMI So now you can wear your on purpose merch listen to the podcast and know that you two are having an impact I want to thank you
so much in advance.
I can't wait to see all of your pictures wearing the merch There's sweatshirts.
Aha t -shirts check it out on our website Jay Shetty shop .com that's Jay Shetty shop .com and remember 100 % of the proceeds go to NAMI Our 20s are seen as this golden decade our time to be carefree Fall in love make mistakes and decide what we want from our life But what can psychology really teach us
about this decade? I'm Gemma Speig the host of the psychology of your 20s each week We take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s from career anxiety mental health Heartbreak money friendships and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences Incredible guests fascinating
topics important science and a bit of my own personal experience Audrey I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about From the good the bad and the ugly and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology Including our 20s the psychology
of your 20s hosted by me Gemma Speig now streaming on the I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Get emotional with me rather than Luke here in my new podcast a really good cry We're gonna talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone
We're gonna go over how to regulate your emotions diving deep into holistic personal development and just building your mindset to have a happier Healthier life.
We're gonna be talking with some of my best friends.
I didn't know we were gonna go there People that I admire when we say listen to your body Really tune into that's going on authors of books that have changed my life Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy Yeah, and basically have conversations that can help us get through
this crazy thing. We call life.
I already believe in myself I already see myself.
And so when people give me an opportunity, I'm just like oh great You see me too.
We'll laugh together.
We'll cry together and find a way through all of our emotions never forget It's okay to cry as long as you make it a really good one Listen to a really good cry with righty de blucia on the iHeart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Welcome to the over comfort podcast with Jennifer
Lopez. Yep, that's me.
You may know my late mom Jenny Rivera my queen She's been my guiding light as I bring you a new season of over comfort podcast this season I'll continue to discover and encourage you and me to get out of our comfort zones and choose our calling Join me as I dive into conversations that will inspire
you challenge you and bring you healing.
We're on this journey together I'm opening up about my life and telling my story in my own words Yes, you'll hear it from me first before the Cheeseman lands on your social media food If you thought you knew everything yes again So I took another test with Ancestry and it told me a lot about who I am
and it led me to My biological father and everyone here my friends laugh, but I'm Puerto Rican Listen to the over comfort podcast with Jennifer Lopez as part of Michael Turan podcast network available on the iHeart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast Now The other thing that we
have to do after changing our environment, which by the way I'm just really laying into because I don't think we do it enough I think we say it we hear it and then we keep doing the same thing going to the same places but after that we have to identify What we're missing and we have to identify whether
it's a habit or an emotion Right now think about that Sometimes what we're missing is the fact that every night at 8 p .m That's the person we used to call first thing in the morning.
That was the first person we texted.
That's a habit We've built up a habit and now our mind reminds us of that habit in that moment every single time So when it hits 8 p .m.
We're waiting for that call We're now feeling all the emotions of not receiving that call not hearing that person's voice Not hearing them say whatever we used to love hearing them saying in the morning when we wake up We don't have that morning message That's a habit that we're missing and what we
have to do is we have to replace that habit Otherwise our mind will simply spiral.
Our mind will go round and round and round and round again and again and again Because that habit is not fulfilled, right?
It's as if if you expected the episode of the podcast to drop and you were just sitting there pressing refresh You were waiting for the next episode or Netflix to come out and for some reason there was a glitch and you just kept pressing refresh Right.
That's what our mind does.
It keeps pressing refresh and then nothing changes Because that person's not magically gonna call and now that habit is a cause for pain We have to replace that habit.
Who are you gonna text instead in the morning, right?
Who else are you gonna ask and say can you please text me in the morning?
So I have a text to look forward to who are you gonna call instead at 8 p .m.
We have to find a replacement a Substitute for that habit because otherwise that habit will turn into a spiral now It may be an emotion that we miss maybe it was that you felt cared for Maybe that person made you feel it adventurous Maybe that person made you feel confident.
It's an emotional exchange.
That way maybe we've lost we have to go and find that emotional exchange from ourselves from someone else in our life and From an activity right going to create adventurous places Going to try out the reason why people say things like try a new class go to pottery class Try a new trainer go to a new
gym work on yourself.
It's really not the work on yourself It's the fact that you're getting to experience that emotion from somewhere else.
You're building your confidence Rather than waiting for them to say you're confident, right?
You're building your own confidence and your own belief in who you are.
Then letting someone else validate it Let me do you're building your own confidence and belief in yourself.
Then letting someone else validate it So identify are you missing in habit and replace it?
Are you missing an emotion?
Substitute it. These are great techniques and tools for you for the long term even after a breakup I often ask people to write down a list of what they really want in life Emotions that you want adventure excitement surprise Whatever it may be and ask yourself who in your life gives you that and if you
keep drawing it to the same person Or to know one go and build a new relationship that gives you that right?
There are certain friends that I know are amazing for adventure There are other friends that I know that are grateful vulnerability.
There are other friends that I know That are great to listen to me and hear me out there There are different friends for different things and I think so many of us either rely on the same people for everything Or we rely on ourselves for everything, you know, you're with the right person When they don't
rely on you for everything and you don't rely on them for everything they love the fact that you have other friends other connections family members that you open your heart to and You respect the fact that they have people in their life that they turn to You don't feel insecure about the fact that they
open their heart to someone else about you and they don't feel upset about the fact That you may share your heart with someone else because what you truly want is for you and the other person To feel supported feel cared for and ultimately that you both want what's best for each other I think one of the biggest
things that we miss out on is That when you keep ruminating when you keep spiraling when you keep going around and around in circles What you're doing is you're going deeper and deeper into what you don't have and what you end up doing is taking up a lot Of mental space a lot of energy that is taken
away now from new things and new opportunities When we use our mental space to think about could have would have should have what if if this if that What we're doing is we're stealing Time from a new person.
We're stealing space from a new opportunity We're stealing energy From a new life.
Why would you ever?
Steal from yourself when we're more Obsessed with the past rather than focused on the opportunities of the present.
We're stealing from ourselves We're stealing time.
We're stealing energy We're stealing growth.
Don't be a thief in your own life.
Don't steal from your own heart That's what we have to realize we're doing when we're obsessed with an ex We're stealing from our own life while they're building theirs We're stealing from our own energy While they're sharing theirs we're stealing from our future while they're living there present Don't
let a breakup Break your connection with yourself Focus on what actions you can take to build right?
You will be less focused on the breakup if you're more focused on building Does that make sense?
We get so obsessed with a breakup that we forget to build we forget to create We forget to organize we forget to develop That's the opposite of breaking up the opposite of breaking is building.
What are you building?
Are you building your career?
Are you building yourself?
Are you putting the energy into building something?
We're trying to manage the breakup but what ends up happening if you're trying to manage the breakup is you just fall deeper into the breakup the breakup is something that has to to some degree naturally over time Be replaced by what you're building It gets healed by building if you just stay focused
on the breakup for a long period of time You actually take energy away from building now if you're still not over your ex.
I want you to know that you're not weak you're not behind and You have to remember that everyone who is today in a happy relationship Once felt that they wouldn't get over their ex.
It's such a natural feeling.
It's such a natural emotion it's so real and true and Everyone that you see today that has the life that you may want one day at one point in their life felt that way about someone they went out with and Sometimes the reason why it's so hard is we feel We missed out on someone who is perfect for us.
We missed out on someone who we feel had everything we ever wanted But here's the thing.
They didn't have the one most important thing that you want and that is they Didn't want what you wanted.
You can want someone all you want someone can have Everything you want someone can be Everything you want but if they don't want what you want with them They're not for you They're not yours.
If they don't want you it doesn't matter how much they have everything that you want And I promise you that that's the key part of a relationship When someone truly wants to be with you when someone truly wants to care for you It doesn't matter how many amazing skills abilities qualities someone has if they
don't deeply want you It will never have worked.
It would never have flourished.
It will never have thrived I want to thank you so much for listening to today.
I hope you'll share this with a friend who's really struggling I know that this can be really heartbreaking and painful and I hope you'll pass this along I also hope you'll leave a review Because so many of you have left so many beautiful ones This was one recently That said this is an amazing podcast
with great information to help with any mental health challenges you're facing Thank you so much for sharing that This one said this podcast emphasizes just being there and alongside them is the most important thing you can do to build resilient humans What wonderful insight?
Thanks so much. This one's really beautiful too as well I have been watching this show for years and it has helped me so much throughout those years and continues to do so I look forward to watching and listening every single week Thank you so much for these incredible incredible reviews Please go ahead
and leave reviews if you have a chance to as well makes a huge difference to podcasts Thank you again for listening.
I'm so grateful to you And remember forever in your corner and always rooting for you.
Thank you If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with dr Gabo Matti on understanding your trauma and how to heal emotional wounds to start moving on from the past Everything in nature grows only where it's vulnerable.
So a tree doesn't go over it's hard and thick does it?
It goes where it's soft and green and vulnerable What's up y 'all?
This is quest love and you know that qls I get to hang out with my friends sugar steve laia fontigolo unpicked bill And we you know quest love supreme like to nerd out and do deep dives with musicians and actors and politicians Creatives people that we feel really deserve that attention We learn we
laugh we fall down rabbit holes listen to quest love supreme on the iheart radio app apple podcast wherever you get your podcasts Hey i'm gianna prudente and i'm jamaig jackson gadson We're the hosts of let's talk offline from lincoln news and iheart podcasts There's a lot to figure out when you're
just starting your career That's where we come in think of us as your work besties You can turn to for advice and if we don't know the answer we bring in people who do like negotiation expert mori to harry pourer If you start thinking about negotiations, it's just a conversation.
Then I think it sort of eases us a little bit Listen to let's talk offline on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts Hi, i'm sc cup and i've spent my career interviewing people about politics Presidential elections and some really tough breaking news But now I need a break
and I think you do too So on my new podcast off the cup i'll still be interviewing people usually famous and most likely my friends But about life, you know the stuff that consumes us when we're not consumed by politics So come join me every wednesday for some conversational self -care Listen to off
the cup on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your favorite shows
