You're listening to Tales from the Cloud Sea, an improvised comedy adventure podcast where kids are at the helm.
Everything you're about to hear is completely made up on the spot.
No script, no plan, no rules.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
If you're looking for a new adventure high up in the atmosphere, Avast your wishes.
There's a new transmission Coming through in a world where mischief's near No time for panic on the old Skytanic, So let's set sail for a new frontier.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
The stories made up spontaneously To welcome aboard.
There's a world to explore.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
Prepare for episode 21.
A Pack of the Clones, Hey kids.
Hey, kids.
Oh, I'm not a kid.
I'm not a kid.
Are you two being silly?
Are you two being silly?
Okay.
Okay.
I actually came over here because I'm looking for fluffles.
I got her when I was 30 years old and I know you're saying to yourself Janice, how can you be older than 30?
Janice, how can you be older than 30?
The thing is, I got him when I was 30 years old.
I am older than that.
Oh, wait, what?
Are you saying something?
Oh, wait, are you saying something?
Yeah, I'm saying something.
Yeah, I'm saying something.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Are you copying me?
Are you copying me?
Are you copying me?
This is fun.
This is fun.
This is fun.
I love Janice.
Look.
Amelia, it's not working.
She's not leaving.
Janice, did you need something of Janice?
What do you need?
We wanted to get you out of here.
I love Janice.
No, we know you love Janice.
We know you love yourself.
Okay, I was trying to get you to repeat it back.
Oh.
Oh, we're just having fun.
We're having some jokes.
I know you love me.
Yeah, this is great.
It's a blast.
What's going on?
Do you need to go home for something?
No, I was just looking for fluffles.
Oh, right.
You did say that.
And then we said that also.
No, but you know what?
What's Our Dog Scrambles was outside.
With something.
Toying with something.
Scruffles?
Yeah, I think Scrambles was scruffling with Fluffles.
Scruffles was scruffling with Fluffles.
Maybe you should go check outside.
I think there's some big holes.
Scruffles got loose again?
I mean, it's fine.
It's just that he has been over in my yard a couple of times recently.
And I don't want to be that crazy neighbor who doesn't want your dog in my yard.
Yeah, because it would be weird if somebody didn't respect your property line.
It was always coming over when they weren't wanted.
Thank you for understanding.
Thank you for understanding.
Janice, why don't you look outside, and Arthur and I can go look up in the attic.
Yeah.
Because we heard something up there scrambling around and it's not safe for you up there.
Yeah, you should.
I'll go with you.
If you thought you're sciatica, i do have sciatica allergens.
It's bad up there.
The perimenopause all right, please listen, you can't climb steps with perimenopause.
Let me give you this.
Okay, it's not really hard to get up in the attic.
If you have sciatica and scoliosis yeah, you should go outside and check check okay yeah, and then we'll meet back here.
Okay listen, see this.
This is fluffles favorite little treat, okay.
Oh, is this made of tuna?
Well, it's tuna compressed into a cube, and i do it myself in my dehydrator.
And also, this is her favorite toy.
So now, if you... Is that a little stuffed tuna?
Wow.
I got a sewing machine.
Wow, sewing tuna.
I have been having the best time.
Good.
So take these.
If you see her, take these out.
She'll come to you.
Okay, will do.
Thanks.
We'll definitely do that.
We'll definitely do that.
We'll head up to the attic.
Let's meet back in here in a week.
Yeah, I'll see you in seven days.
Two weeks?
Hilarious.
Okay, see you in 30 days.
Okay, bye.
Okay, bye.
Okay, let's go.
Here, hop on my shoulders.
Okay.
I put it over here this time.
Okay, ready?
Yep.
Here we go.
Whoa.
Children, I need you to be very quiet, okay?
Okay.
I'm going to open this very carefully.
Sorry.
God bless you.
Anything but sneezing, okay?
Listen, you need to follow me.
Okay, the goblins out and about on the ship today.
Okay, you know there are goblins here.
Yeah well, there's one goblin.
He lives in the bellows of the ship and i know that joe likes to joke around, but this goblin will eat you okay, and you are not safe, so we're going to just follow me down this hallway, okay.
Okay, very quiet.
Where are we going?
Okay, We're gonna go down to me corpus, okay.
And I'm gonna cover you in... It's called giblets, okay?
Like, from inside of a turkey?
Oh, you have turkeys, do you?
Yeah, if you cover yourself in giblet juice...
He won't even smell you, okay?
Smells like Janice.
Everybody run!
Get him and stunt out of the bellows!
No, no, no!
Run, children!
Amelia!
Amelia wait, a goblin.
What's that i smell?
Oh, is that giblets and or giblets?
No no um, these are um, just some herd animals.
We got to do some work down under.
Yeah, that sounds like a prey species to me.
Oh no no, you can tell if their eyes are on the sides of their head.
Oh wait, is he talking about me?
Wait, why are your eyes on?
The same way, your eyes are a bit on the side, like your eyes are more to the side than like a normal boy.
Oh wait wait, wait.
Look, I've got a compressed tuna square.
Yeah, yeah, give him the tuna.
Give him the tuna.
Here you go.
Here you go, boy.
Here you go, boy.
What's this thing?
It seems to be some kind of cube.
Yeah, it's a little tuna cube.
You want to try it?
It's really yummy.
You want to try it?
Go get it.
Go get it.
Good boy.
It worked.
It worked.
I've never seen him act like this.
All right.
My appetite has been slaked.
As it were.
What's that mean?
That's the omega-3s.
It's very good for more skin and hair.
You look very nice, Giblet.
You have beautiful hair, by the way.
Yes, yes.
Not on my head, on my shoulders, of course.
Oh, no, that's what I was talking about.
Gorgeous.
So silky.
Push him back into the bellows.
Oh.
Captain, I'm afraid.
I'm sorry.
Children, you do it.
I've got this little plushy toy.
Look at this.
It looks like a little tuna.
You like that?
Is that a little stuffed tuna?
It's a little stuffed tuna.
You want it?
Oh, well, the stitching's not great.
The craftsmanship is a bit lacking.
It is homemade.
It is homemade by a... You didn't get this on Etsy, did you?
I'd ask for my money back.
She has an Etsy, but she has two followers.
Yeah.
Nevertheless, I am enthralled and intrigued by this small stuffed tuna.
What are you going to do with that?
What are you doing with that, eh?
Oh, I'm going to throw it over there.
Oh, I'm going to follow it.
I'm going to follow it.
Get it, boy.
Get it, boy.
Get it, boy.
Get it, boy.
What a nightmare.
Why didn't anyone tell me that keeping a goblin in the bellows was a bad idea?
Wait, do you guys feed him and take care of him and stuff?
He licks the grease off the bellows.
It's a win-win.
Oh, no.
Sir, not to quibble.
But I did tell you that having a goblin was a terrible idea.
You told me that 100 times.
But you needed to tell me 101 times.
It wasn't enough.
You're right.
I blame you squarely, Dobbins.
Totally your fault.
I'm sorry, sir.
Children, it seemed like Giblet was almost...
Well, you know, you just got to, you know, be nice to some creatures sometimes.
They're just looking for some loving and some food.
They just need their stuff taken care of.
He has a heart just like the rest of us.
Oh, Arthur, that was beautiful.
You are a poet.
So you're saying, like, not locking him in the bellows.
Yeah.
It's a little inhumane.
Maybe that's like his bedroom, but then he can come out and like hang out with you guys or like get something to eat.
Sometimes it isn't bellow grease.
I don't know if you got a whiff of him, but he smells even worse than you.
Now, you two smell like you dropped some wet cedar chips in some broccoli cheddar soup.
That sounds good.
But he smells like shoestrings made into a sausage.
Even worse the children.
But isn't that your fault that he smells like that?
Because he's trapped in there.
Children, you're opening my eyes.
I'm starting to feel a bit guilty.
He's probably more scared of you than you are of him.
I mean, it's terrible that we keep him down there.
Just the most awful thing you've ever heard.
It is?
Ah, for sure.
But, you know, we're pirates.
We don't have that strong a moral code.
Let me smash that lid with this belaying pin a little bit.
That'll quiet him.
Usually does.
Captain!
Wait, can he come with us on wherever we're going?
Oh, please.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You can take him.
Yeah, let Giblet out.
If you can get him off the ship, please do.
But I hate to say this, children.
I'm going to hide, okay?
Because while I see what you're saying, I'm frightened also.
Hold on.
We got to get the order of operations right, Dobbins.
Let's let Cranklin share whatever missive we got from the mythical planet Earth.
Right, right.
Then I'll climb up into the crow's nest.
You hide wherever you hide.
And then the kids do whatever they want to do.
And if the goblin eats you, is there a way we could get new Earth kids to come here?
No.
Have you spoken to any other Earth kids that could replace you if you get eaten?
No, there's only Josh, but he doesn't know how to get here without it.
Yeah.
Well, could you go back and leave a note for him and then let the goblin out?
No.
Listen, if the goblin tries to eat you, as he's done to me...
Many, many times.
You must run, children.
We don't want replacement children, despite what the captain says.
I'm not good at cardio.
That's true.
I don't know what cardio is.
Look, I'm climbing up.
I can listen to Cranklin from up here.
Play it loud, Cranklin.
See, he's scared too.
As soon as you play it, we can all leave.
I'll protect you, Cranklin.
Oh, you're pulling at me heartstrings.
Okay, here, I'll press the button for you.
Oh.
Hello, my name is Ellie and I am nine years old and I'm from Illinois in the United States.
And my island is Clone Island.
And at Clone Island, you make clones.
There's just like a big box, just millions of boxes everywhere, that you can just step into and then you make a clone.
But all the clones are you, from the beginning of your life.
So if, like Arthur and Amelia goes and clones themselves, their clones turn into their baby selves.
I love your show.
Bye, thanks.
No captain, we cannot send them there.
We have to send them there because i've always wanted one of them clone boxes on the ship.
Can you imagine what we could do with our own clone box?
You gotta get down there and steal one of the clone boxes and bring it back.
Okay, but it's gonna make babies Oh, that's all right.
You just put babies to the side for a few years and they turn into children and then maybe we can send them to go find more treasures.
Oh, well, that's true.
Okay, we'll go.
We'll do our best.
Do not let Giblet get into one of those boxes.
I beg of you, okay?
Baby Giblets to be the best.
So cute.
No, it would not.
I mean, he's actually only two years old.
Why, that's not even cuter.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, he comes out looking like a fully grown goblin man, but he's actually only two.
Wow.
Life on the Cloud Sea.
All right bye bye bye, okay.
Um, all right okay, we're next to the car, so i'll just open the door and we'll let him out.
Okay okay okay okay, i'm ready okay okay, and Am I being released from the bellows?
Yeah, would you like to come with us to another island?
Well, it beats eating grease in here.
Yeah, I bet it does.
Come on.
Yeah, you look greasy.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, thanks, kids.
What are your names?
Oh, I'm Amelia.
This is my brother Arthur.
I'm Arthur.
Hello, nice to meet you.
I'm Giblet.
Hi, Giblet.
Hey, Giblet.
You might think that's pronounced giblet, but it's not giblet the joblin, is it?
No, it's giblet the joblin.
Yeah, that's right.
Cool name.
Yeah, I think so, I think so.
I'm to be granted my freedom, am I?
Yeah, you want to come check out?
We're going to Clone Island.
Clone Island, eh?
Yeah, yeah.
Sounds derivative.
Hey, Amelia, what's that mean?
It just means it's, like, not original.
It's, like, came from something else.
Oh, yeah.
Good one, Giblet.
It's a play on words.
Yeah, it's a play on words.
I think that was very clever.
That was very clever.
Yeah, it was.
Oh, Cologne Island Derivative.
That's what a clown is, you see.
I love your play on words.
It's just sometimes Arthur just needs a little extra explanation.
Yeah, I need a dictionary.
Now, where is that Captain Squid Hand, eh?
Oh, he is way up in the crow's nest.
Don't tell him!
Don't tell him!
But we can hop in this cloud car right here and we'll head right over to the island.
I'm not sure I should get my revenge on him, you see.
It's not just putting me in the bellows, you know.
I'm not sure if you're aware of my backstory, but I used to be the captain of this ship.
What?
But you're only two!
That's right.
That's right.
I was quite the entrepreneur in my day.
Wait, wait, what's entrepreneur?
It's, um, it's like something that isn't original.
Oh, okay, okay.
So you're a derivative of the ship?
Well, yeah, I was the original captain, and then Captain Squidend won it for me in a card game.
And then he tricked me into the battles he did.
That's awful.
You know what?
We should make him captain of the ship again.
Yeah, terrible idea.
I can hear you from up here, but first we need to go to the clone island.
All right, all right, since you freed me, i think i owe you a boon, so this will be count as your boon.
Be going with you, a boon like you're a friend now.
Yeah well, it's a favor.
It's a favor.
It's not a lifelong relationship.
And you don't do favors for people who aren't your friends.
That's right.
We're friends now.
I don't know if that's strictly true, but all right.
All right.
Let's go with that.
We've got a goblin friend, Arthur.
This is so cool.
Or a joblin friend.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
All right so um, this is the cloud car, so I just have to push this button and Arthur has to pull that lever.
Yep.
You ready?
Hold on tight.
Oh, shit.
Whoa!
Oh, whoa.
Look at all the boxes!
Oh my gosh, it's just like being in an Amazon warehouse.
Or Minecraft.
Yeah, but there's not a lot of depressed people around.
That's true.
Hopefully everybody's paid right.
I wouldn't count on it.
Okay, we gotta make sure that we don't step into any of these boxes, because if we get in the boxes then they'll create a clone.
Oh, right, right.
So, so what's our mission then?
We gotta get one of these boxes and take it back, so I guess we can just grab one and go.
It's super easy, right?
But we can't step into it, right?
No, yeah, we have to pick it up.
Maybe if we all three pick it, maybe if we try to pick this blue one up.
Pardon me.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
Hello.
I'm so sorry.
Are you trying to take a box?
Yes.
That was the plan.
Do you have a card?
A card on file with us?
Should we say we have a card?
Yes.
Yeah.
We have a card.
There's probably no way to check that information, so yes, we have a card.
Under what name?
Oh, we've been stymied.
Oh, shoot.
We've been stymied.
We've been stymied, Amelia.
Look under stymied.
Look under stymied.
Yeah, stymied.
All right.
Are you Absalom stymied?
Are you Beatrice stymied?
Yeah, Beatrice stymied.
Beatrice stymied.
Yeah, Beatrice stymied for sure.
Can I get the last six digits of your card?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You don't have it on file?
Oh, we do.
Can we speak to your manager?
I am the manager.
Oh, no.
I got it.
It's seven.
Oh, you got it?
Four.
Three.
Two.
Seven, nine, four, three, two, seven, four, nine, three.
That's much more than six numbers.
And unfortunately, none of them are accurate.
I don't believe you are, Beatrice Stymie.
Try the other numbers.
One, five, seven, four, three, two, nine.
Infinity.
That's all the numbers.
Yeah!
We've had a lot of problems with people coming in, taking boxes, creating baby versions of themselves and then not taking care of the baby versions of themselves.
We have a lot of very stupid clones running around on this island, so we are trying to regulate the boxes.
Babies having babies.
Cobatha, is there some kind of problem here?
No, Daniel 3, everything's fine.
I'm Daniel 4, Tobitha.
Here's Daniel 3.
Hey, Tobitha, is there some kind of trouble here?
You want us to do something with these people?
They're all in big diapers.
It's me Daniel one.
Sorry about these other two.
They're not paying any attention to you.
Do you need any help?
Yeah, he seems slightly less stupid than the other Daniel five eating dirt That's Daniel 6.
That must be Daniel 6, the baby.
We just put Daniel 6 into the box.
We gotta grow him up.
Oh my gosh.
I don't know if you've ever seen multiplicity, but it's a lot like this.
Daniels 2 through 6, please step to the side.
Daniel 1.
Daniel 2, can you pick up Daniel 6, please?
I'm just rocking him a little bit.
Hey, maybe he's kids.
Could you rock him a little bit?
I'm going to get in the box and make a new clone.
Here comes Daniel 7.
This is Daniel 22 because uh sorry, I'm not supposed to do that, but I just always wanted a baby.
What's also interesting about this is that you were handling daniel 6, who is already a baby, when you walk through a box.
So now the baby also has a tiny baby clone.
So it's daniel 22 and daniel 62.
It's a baby baby, everybody look baby, baby.
I feel like this would have been a good time for us to just grab this box and run, but we missed it.
Very distracted.
I was distracted by the baby-ception.
It's babies on babies all the way down.
We've got a lot of problems here.
And so we're really trying to regulate the usage of boxes.
But we've got people like Daniel no offense, Daniel who just think it's really cool to step into the box and make a bunch of babies of themselves.
Well, no offense, Tobitha, but you said my job was to make sure these boxes were secure.
And the best way to do that is to have a bunch of guys wandering around making sure nobody messes with the boxes.
Which I do appreciate.
However, you're walking around into the boxes.
You know what?
I'm going to make a new clone.
I'm going to get in here real quick.
Oh, man, this one's got two feet on each leg.
Oh, my God.
It's like AI slop.
Tobatha, was it?
It seems to me, as an uninterested bystander, that your problem is all these boxes.
And I think your problem might be somewhat mitigated if there were fewer boxes.
Hey, this one's smart.
We should make a clone of him.
No, no, no, no, no.
We've had bad experiences with the smart ones.
Look, you are correct.
We should get rid of some of the boxes.
Great.
But these are very powerful boxes.
They need to be regulated in some way, and we just don't have the capacity for that at this moment in time.
That's why Tobatha had us lock them down with the magic key.
Even I couldn't unlock them without the magic key.
So, you know, it's pretty safe now.
How do we get one of these magic keys?
Yeah.
Well, they were created by our president, who is a sorcerer who no one has seen for a year.
President?
Sorcerer?
Wow.
For a year?
Yeah, President Sorcerer, yes, Waldo.
Uh, Waldo hasn't been seen for a year.
They created millions of boxes.
Because we did have a population shortage, but now we have the opposite problem.
We have too many people.
Surplus.
Nice, Arthur.
That aren't very intelligent walking into boxes all the time and now creating a bunch of babies.
And now we have food shortages and there's not enough public transportation to get people around.
It's a whole mess.
Are you saying the question we really need to be asking is, where's Waldo?
Yes.
I don't know why that's funny.
Yes.
Hey, we're really good at it.
We found him a million times.
No, we just know how to find him.
Even when the beach is really crowded, we can find him.
We always spot the striped shirt.
I don't know why this is funny either.
I mean, it's alliterative.
Beyond that, I don't understand.
It's probably some kind of cultural touchstone that I'm not aware of.
Yes, it's fun to say.
And to be fair, Waldo does have a striped sorcerer costume.
Cool.
They do stand out in a crowd, which is also unusual why we haven't seen them in a year.
I am glad you're here.
I can't give you a box.
I don't have the magic key and you don't have a card.
But if you can find Waldo, then perhaps we can figure out how to make these boxes not continue to destroy our island.
Well, if there's one thing I know about presidents, they usually have some sort of house that they live in at the taxpayer's expense, that they are free to renovate however they choose.
Good job!
Even when nobody thinks they should.
Yeah.
Especially then.
Especially.
That is true.
There is a house.
And perhaps it is possible that Waldo has made a secret lair within the house.
It is their right to make their home their way they want it to be.
They call it the presidential pyramid now.
Oh, cool.
Presidential pyramid, eh?
It's like a triangle, but thicker.
Good job, number six.
Yeah, you're thicker than a pyramid, I say.
I think I'm a smart one.
I'm going to get in the box.
Hi, I'm Daniel Seven.
Oh, no.
I think he's even messed up the nomenclature of it.
He's a baby, but he's talking full sentences, which you think is going to be cool, but then it's going to get real weird.
And he's got a really thick unibrow.
I'm a baby, but my head is man-sized.
Oh, it's a kid with man head.
Okay, we've had this happen a couple times before.
You guys really should find the presidential pyramid.
Can't walk straight.
His head's top heavy.
I want to see, but my neck isn't strong enough to lift my head up.
I have to get a couple of...
You kids go have fun.
All right, we leave you to it, Toberfa.
All right, kids.
Okay.
I think this presidential pyramid might be the first place to look.
But if I know anything about pyramids, they're often riddled with traps.
And they're riddled with riddles as well.
I love riddles.
And I love traps.
Are you good at them?
Are you good at riddles and you're good at traps?
I'm good at avoiding traps.
Yeah, and I'm good at thinking I'm good at riddles.
That's all we need.
Positive thinking, positive thinking.
There's doubtless some sort of guardian as well.
Often it's a mummy, or possibly an uncle or a daddy.
Can't wait, an uncle guard at a pyramid.
Stop, who goes there?
Oh my gosh, we're at the pyramid.
Are you the uncle?
No, i'm the mummy.
Oh, i can tell from your bandages.
Yeah, and the apron.
And the apron seems a bit stereotypical.
If you ask me gender roles and whatnot yes yeah, my son live in here and i haven't been able to find him for years and i'm certainly not going to let some rat scallions into the pyramid, so just Turn around and leave.
We're not rapscallions.
I'll have you know we are ragamuffins.
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever you are, you thunt into this pyramid.
Well, we are our president finders.
From the President Finders Association.
From the PFA?
PFA, yep.
Yes, we got your letter, ma'am, and we are ready to find your son.
We're helping you.
I've been sending letters for months.
Well, here's your answer.
Then this following riddle should be very easy for you.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay, Amelia.
I'm tall when I'm young, and I'm short when I'm old.
What am I?
A candle.
Yes.
Oh.
Is that right?
Yes.
You're so correct.
Very good.
Very good.
Okay.
Two more.
The secret was I just tried to think of something that was big and then got smaller.
I figured it out.
Wait, wait, there's two more riddles.
Two more riddles?
Okay.
We have to answer riddles three.
All right, all right.
Okay.
Yeah.
What question can you never answer yes to?
This one.
Nice.
No.
Shoot.
Are you asleep yet?
Are you asleep yet?
How did you both... Not only... We're sibling power!
You answered it!
Wait, is that correct?
Is that correct?
Yes.
Are you asleep yet?
Yes!
You've gotten it!
Okay, I had to check my notes.
Not only...
Did you both get it?
You both got it at the same time.
Collusion.
Okay, this one is very difficult.
There's a one-story house in which everything is yellow.
Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture.
What colour are the stairs?
There are no stairs.
It's a one-story house.
Thank you so much.
I mean, unless there's like a basement, I guess.
No, don't bring that up.
No, there's not.
It's a one-story house, you fool.
I mean, there could be a front stoop, even though it's a one-story house.
Yeah, what's a back porch look like?
No, no, no, you're correct.
You are from the PFA.
Why are we trying to make it not right?
Okay.
I don't know.
Okay.
Because we want to earn it.
Yeah, you're right.
We want to earn it.
You're right.
Listen, my son has not been seen inside of this pyramid for weeks, nay more.
A year.
A year?
A year!
I haven't seen my son and I miss him so much!
Well, we'll try to find him.
The last I saw, he was inside of the pyramid.
And I always sleep right outside the door so he can't escape.
Is this pyramid just one room?
Yes.
It's a one-story house.
Oh, goodness.
Man, you're nuts.
At any rate, I always sleep right outside the pyramid door.
I went in to bring him his eggies and brekkies, and he was gone.
Oh my gosh.
So please, step inside the pyramid.
So fine.
And help me find...
Where is my Waldo?
It's like an escape room.
Yeah, we'll find him.
We'll find him.
Yeah.
Just a couple of things.
There are some traps.
Okay.
Okay, good luck.
No, that's it.
All right.
That was it.
There are some booby traps.
Booby traps.
Cool.
Okay.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
Slams.
Well, well done with those riddles.
Very well done.
Thank you, Giblet.
Yeah, good job, Amelia.
I tried.
The second one gave me a real... Oh, we got it.
We got to go find her son.
We got to find Waldo.
Yeah, but we have to watch out for these trips.
Yeah.
What do you think the traps will look like?
It could look like a little trip wire on the ground.
Sometimes, if you step on a stone, it'll sink into the ground and then the ceiling will collapse on you.
Oh, wow.
That sounds funny.
It could be poison darts.
It could be bear traps.
Who knows?
Look, there's a door ahead and it's got two knobs on it.
Two knobs?
I guess we have to turn one of the knobs.
Is this the booby trap that was mentioned before?
That's what I was... Wait...
Maybe the knobs are an illusion and there's another way to open the door.
Arthur, I bet you're right.
Okay, I'm just going to push on the door and see if the knobs are just there for decor.
Okay, ready?
Uh-huh.
Oh, my gosh!
They were just there for decor!
They were there for decor!
It was probably if I wouldn't get one at Michael's.
Yes!
Okay, here we go.
There's a blue light coming through.
Should we go?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
We've got to find Waldo so that we can get that box back to the ship, so that you can make baby clothes.
I think that's what we're doing.
Yeah, I guess.
That sounds good.
Okay.
Oh.
Wow.
Everything's beautiful.
Blue.
It's like there's a black light.
You have little stars.
You stick on stars.
I don't like this.
I look like a smurf in this night.
Oh, that's okay.
You look great.
You look cool.
Blue looks good on everybody.
I suppose.
I'm going to get down in all fours and I'm going to feel around and make sure there's no holes we're going to fall into.
Oh, that's smart.
Giblet, you get on his back and ride him like a horse.
All right.
All right, baby, so help me.
It will be fun.
I'm sorry, I'm a bit pointy.
I'm quite pointy.
Ouch!
Oh, my lower lumbar.
Okay, it's fine.
Okay.
Okay.
You find any holes yet?
I'm going to look on the walls.
I'm going to touch the walls and see if there's anything on these walls.
I hear something.
I hear something.
Was that a mouse?
Some sort of rodent?
Yeah, maybe.
They're living in the walls.
Yeah, I think it's behind.
Let me pull out this brick and see if it's behind us.
Oh.
It's a vole.
A what?
It's a tiny vole.
It's a vole.
It's like a mole, but not.
Like a vowel?
No, a vole.
No, no, a vole.
It's a small rodent.
Hi, vole.
Oh, my God, it's running everywhere.
Hi, vole.
Oh, my God, what are you doing?
He's trying to tell us something.
Oh yeah, let's listen, think it's got gas.
It made that sound with its mouth, so i think it was trying to make a sound effect.
We need to blow on something.
Okay, i think that means yes wait wait, i'll get it.
Yeah yeah, The past tense of blow is blue.
And this room is blue.
Oh, yeah!
I don't know what that means.
I just thought it was interesting.
Maybe Waldo blew on something and changed everything.
Well, he's a wizard or a sorcerer, isn't he?
Yeah, President Sorcerer.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh, it just evaporated.
So he's gone.
Wow.
Well, that cryptic clue will help us, no doubt.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Look in the very center of the room.
There's a giant crystal.
Has that been?
Oh, you think we would have mentioned it immediately.
I think we would have seen it, maybe.
Well, I was looking down at the ground.
All right, all right.
So the past tense of blow is blue.
Blue.
And the room is blue.
And now there's a giant crystal.
Crystal.
Oh, wait.
It's not crystal.
Glass.
And glass is made by a glass blower, yes?
Blower, yeah!
Okay, so maybe we all just need to blow on this crystal, like at the end of the fifth element, when they have to blow on the one thing to make it air.
That sounds like a cultural touchstone that I'm unfamiliar with.
Yeah, it is.
Okay, I wasn't supposed to watch it.
It's Dad's favorite film.
Yeah, OK.
All right, ready?
Let's all blow on it.
Yeah.
All right, all right.
Oh my god, it's going into the ground.
It's going into the ground, sinking into the ground.
It's not one story.
Oh, they lied.
Well, maybe this is a basement, like we said before.
Yeah well, this is the front stoop.
Yeah, we were right.
We were right.
Of course there's secret passages and secret stairways.
Who enters my secret chamber?
Are you Waldo?
Maybe who's asking?
That means yes.
That means yes.
No, totally Waldo.
Yeah, that's Waldo.
I'm Amelia.
This is my brother Arthur.
Hi.
This is our friend Giblet.
I am the disembodied voice that guards this temple.
I'm definitely not a guy hiding behind a curtain using a megaphone.
It's like Jeff Goldblum.
There is a curtain over there, but we I was going to look behind it, but then he said he wasn't behind it, so I'm not.
The curtain is left over from the previous tenant.
I don't know what they had it there for.
I think that's a presidential thing, like they leave something that was theirs.
Amelia, I don't know if I believe him.
Maybe we should look.
No, don't look.
My mommy, I mean, people say my drunk business.
Now it's definitely suspect.
Go do it.
Do it.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
I'll pull this aside.
Here we are.
Oh, um, hi.
Waldo?
Look at that stripy wizard robe, sorcerer apparel.
Yeah?
We spotted you.
There's nobody else here.
Are you sure?
Maybe.
Hold on, let me clean my glasses.
I can't even really...
Oh, gosh.
And look, he's wearing the presidential seal around his neck.
Please tell me my mommy didn't send you here.
Well, we came in here.
She let us in because we were looking for you.
Everybody's worried about you, Waldo.
Yeah.
Oh.
President Waldo.
Well, I'm fine, so, uh, yeah, if you could just, like, leave me alone.
Order now if you're fine.
I think you're shirking your presidential duties, eh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, turns out being president isn't so fun.
Like I built this cool pyramid from the old house because I didn't like the old house and I wanted a cool pyramid.
Well, I mean, that's your right.
You can renovate as you see fit.
Yeah exactly, even if nobody thinks it's a good idea.
Then once I had a pyramid, then I could play pyramid ball in here and just like hang out with my friends.
But then everybody wanted me to do stuff.
Oh yeah well, you kind of don't apply for a job because you think it's fun.
You apply for a job you think you can do.
Well, That's right, Waldo.
With great presidential power comes great presidential responsibility.
That's from the Fifth Element.
Yeah, but what if you think it's going to be cool and then it's not at all cool?
And you just want to hide away from the whole island?
I tell you what, Waldo.
If I had a nickel for every time I wish I could just run away and hide...
I wouldn't need to run away and hide because I'd be able to afford my own island.
But the thing about having a job is you got to do it.
And if you don't like doing it, you can quit it.
But you have to do it until you're done doing it.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing that there has to be a president.
And if I just like give this key around my neck to somebody else and make them president, then they've got to do it and nobody wants to do it.
But, oh, wait, maybe one of you would like to be president.
Wait, what you were talking about, about the job that you've got to do and...
If you don't want to do it, then you should just quit.
See, I have a job that I have to do, and it's lick grease off the bellows.
And I don't want to do it.
But I can't leave either, because I'm being kept prisoner inside the bellows by Captain Squidward.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
You just described the rules to Pyramid Ball.
You rub grease around on the walls and then you run around and lick it off.
And whoever can lick off the most.
Are you kidding me?
That's the most fun game there is.
Where does ball come in?
Well, I think that if we switch jobs, perhaps we'll each be happy in our new career.
Ghibli, you could be president.
Yeah, that's right.
I wouldn't have to live in the bellows anymore.
And then, of course, this character would now canonically be living on your ship licking grease off the bellows.
But that's your problem because I'll be here.
I'll be left behind.
That's all I ever dreamed of.
Yeah, you'd be trapped in a small room with nobody questioning you.
And you said a ship, like, that flies away from where my mummy is?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, here, please, take this key.
Did someone say mummy?
Give it, give it, give it.
Hello?
Mummy's here.
Oh, my little sweetums, I missed you so much.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
I'm sorry, but over at the PFA, the President Finders Association, we need to take in your son to debrief him for the next.
40 to 45 years.
Debrief?
Yeah, we got to debrief him.
Anything for the PFA.
Oh, wow.
I am so glad that we kissed those cheeks.
Oh, Mom, stop it.
You're embarrassing me in front of the new president.
That's right.
I'm the president now and as my first decree, we are going to reduce the number of clone boxes on clone island by exactly one.
Oh, thank you, you can just take the presidency for my son.
He gave it.
Oh, he gave me the presidential seal.
It Hanging around my neck.
It looks like I've crossed all the T's and dotted all the I's, as it were.
You know, Waldo's mom Giblet may look old, but he's actually only two years old, so he probably needs a mummy to make sure that he's doing okay too.
Does he?
Oh, it is.
Does he need a mummy?
I have not had a strong maternal influence.
I've just been licking grease off of bellows for my entire two years of life.
Oh, you poor thing.
Except I was briefly a ship captain as well.
Well, you seem more than qualified.
Waldo.
Yes, my mummy.
Would it terribly hurt your feelings if I stayed here with Gibret?
He needs a mama's touch.
Oh well, I mean, you're the best mummy there is, with all the delicious cubes of food you feed me, so i i think he'd be very lucky to have you.
Yeah boy, it's perfect.
I love cubes of food.
I've only recently discovered my love of cubes.
I've got so many cubes oh, i'm so happy.
Well well well, I think we can chalk this up as a win win, win situation.
Yes.
And actually a fourth win, because you two are going to go back to the ship with a shiny new clone box.
Yes.
Oh, can we take this one?
Yes.
The golden box?
You can have the golden clone box.
Oh, Giblet, it's been really nice getting to be your friend and spending time with you.
At first, this was just a boon, but I think the boon has blossomed into actual friendship.
Maybe you should make a quick clone of him, because it sounds like even as a baby he'd make a good ship, captain.
Well, we already have a ship captain.
Oh, I can't wait to meet him.
Oh, you're going to love him and he's going to love you.
Cool.
Yeah besides, if we made a cloud of me, it would just be exactly like me because, as we've established, goblins are born with large vocabulary and fully mature.
Yeah.
That's why he was a ship captain.
It's incredible.
All right, Giblet, it was great to be with you.
We're going to go now.
We'll come visit you again, I'm sure.
As the president of Clown Island, I decree that you are always welcome here as guests of the state.
Thanks, Giblet.
Thanks, Giblet.
Thanks, Giblet.
Goodbye, my son.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, PFA.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, President Waldo.
We still call you President Waldo because you're always that, even when you're not president.
Yeah, and you get people to guard you.
It's way more fun to be an ex-president than a president.
I bet.
Oh, I believe it.
Oh, here's a car.
Oh, whoa, that's yours?
Isn't that cool?
It's a cumulus.
Yeah.
Do I just strap in here like this?
Yeah, yeah.
Definitely put on a seatbelt.
Okay, I'm pushing the button.
I'm pulling the lever.
Whoa.
Hey, hey, we're back.
And we don't have Giblet with us.
Who is this?
Oh, uh, hi.
I'm President Waldo.
Why did you bring this?
Another mouth to feed.
No, no, no, no.
He's going to take over Giblet's job.
Yeah.
They switched jobs.
They traded places.
All right, that's fine.
Lad, let me see your tongue.
All right, you can lick grease as well as the next.
Push him in there.
My dream come true.
Yes, yes, and here's your box, Captain.
We got the golden one.
You can clone whatever you want.
Oh, well, this is for Joe.
He realized that if we put chickens in here, he'll get as many eggs as he ever could use.
That's all?
That's the reason we went on this dangerous adventure for eggs?
I can just throw eggs in there.
We'll never have to go to the grocery store again.
Yeah, that's pretty good, I guess.
There you go, Joe.
This is very exciting.
You know what?
Sometimes the best booty is the booty you give someone else.
Um, Captain, you've never given me any booty.
Well... You don't want it, yeah.
Well, no, no.
What booty would you want, Dobbins?
It's just the gesture that counts, doesn't it?
Well, secretly, it's really for me because I like eating eggs, so just don't tell Joe that.
Okay, all right, all right, everything's right again.
You guys are weird.
Glad you got your eggs joe thanks, i feel real good.
Well, i guess we're gonna go back.
We got a neighbor to deal with.
Yeah, all right, i'll walk you down.
Children, thank you for removing giblet from this ship.
You know what?
Giblet's really a cool guy.
Great person.
Or goblin, honestly.
Gob, yeah.
And now he's president of Clone Island.
Is he?
Yeah.
You know, he did try to eat my ear off.
It's not just unfounded.
That's fair.
He's that soul goblin.
I mean, Giblet.
All right, here you are, children.
Can't wait to see you next time.
Bye, Dobbins.
All right, bye.
Whoa.
Hey, kids.
I just opened my head up.
Oh, hey, we're just over here in the corner.
Don't look.
Don't look.
Did you find my pluffies?
Um, nope.
Unless it's in this bag of old underwear.
Yeah.
Oh, it is in this bag of old underwear.
It is in this bag of underwear.
Cashmite underwear.
It's really soft in there.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
My little sweetums.
Thank you so much.
Oh, you're welcome, Janice.
Bye.
Thank you.
Have a good day.
Wait, kids.
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Tales from the Cloud Sea.
Amelia was played by Megan Leahy.
Arthur was played by Karen Cassidy.
Captain Squid Hand Daniel 1, Daniel 2, Daniel 3, Daniel 5, Daniel 6, Daniel 7, Daniel 22 and President Waldo were played by Travis Sharp.
Janice Dobbins.
The baby Daniels is, Waldo is mummy.
The vole and Fluffles were played by Amanda Lee Williams.
Tobitha and Joe were played by me, Eve Kruger.
Our producer, editor, and sound designer is Matt Silverman, who also played Cranklin the Robot.
Giblet.
The Goblin was played by our special guest, Mark Meir, who you may know as Commander Shepard from the Mass Effect trilogy, Dragon Age, Baldur's Gate and many more of your favorite video games.
Mark is one of the dungeon masters for D&D in a Castle.
Learn more at dndinacastle.com.
This episode was brought to you by Ellie from Illinois.
Thanks, Ellie.
This just in, Tales from the Cloud Sea is the winner of the NYC Podcast Award for Best Kids Podcast.
We're so excited to be recognized.
And if you know where the Skytanic should sail next, call Cranklin and leave a voicemail.
256-834-5394.
That's cloud four, key four.
You can also call Cranklin right on our website, talesfromthecloudsea.com.
Maybe your island will be the next great adventure on Tales from the Clouds.
See you.
