Hi, everybody. My name is Shawna, and this is The American English Podcast. My goal here is to teach you the English spoken in the United States.
Through common expressions, pronunciation tips, and interesting cultural snippets or stories, I hope to keep this fun, useful and interesting.
Let's do it. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know Liz.
She's one of my college buddies who's been on about six or seven episodes already.
Every time she comes on, I get messages about how much you guys like her.
I of course do, too.
She's smart. She's kind, and very well -spoken.
which of course makes her a great guest to have, so excited to have her back today.
We'll be discussing awkward cultural questions.
We'll cover everything from double dipping to appropriate behavior when you're going to somebody's house in the US, maybe a dinner party and more.
Just remember, this episode is full of opinions.
Don't take our opinions too seriously.
Our perspectives are purely based on where and how we were raised.
Like me, Liz is from California and she has lived on the East Coast and West Coast and travels regularly around the United States.
So she's not a homebody, she's been around.
And yeah, I hope you enjoy.
Okay, since our chat was long, I divided it into two episodes.
I think it's better for the learning experience, that way I can do a summary at the end, and it's not too much. So be sure to stay tuned for the second part of our chat.
It'll be posted shortly.
Before we begin, I would like to do a follow up.
In last week's episode, I spoke about going to the dentist… and the orthodontist. And at the beginning of the episode, I told you just how excited Julia was after losing her tooth.
Let me play that segment for you.
Speaking of the tooth fairy, Julia put her baby tooth under her pillow the night she lost it, and the tooth fairy paid her a visit.
She was glowing with happiness the next morning, holding up a crisp five -dollar bill.
That's the amount the Tooth Fairy had left her under her pillow.
Which is a lot of money, isn't it?
Five dollars for a tooth?
Afterwards, I asked, When kids lose their teeth in your country does the tooth fairy come?
How much money do they receive?
You guys sent me so many messages about your countries and what you do when you lose teeth.
Thank you so much. I want to read some of your messages just because I found them so entertaining.
A listener on YouTube wrote, oddly enough, in Argentina and many other Spanish speaking countries, we've got the Perez mouse.
El raton perez, I think.
He basically has the same job as the tooth fairy.
But I guess he's even stranger.
I mean, why would a mouse collect baby teeth, right?
I agree with you, it's very peculiar.
What are the mice and fairies doing with all of these teeth?
Hmm. Then I received a message from Haynett from Mexico.
And he or she said, in Mexico, we have el raton de los tientes, the tooth mouse.
So once again, a mouse.
Alba from France said, the tooth fairy doesn't exist in France, but we have the little mouse.
She comes during the night, to take the children's tooth, located under their cushion, and she leaves some coins in exchange.
Fascinating, right?
So many of these places have mice.
So many English -speaking countries on the other hand, of course, have the tooth fairy.
England, Ireland, Australia, Canada, the United States.
Anyway. Then I got a message that was very interesting.
Michelle from Brazil said, in my country, we have to throw the tooth on the roof.
Then we sing a song for a rabbit to bring a beautiful and big tooth back.
I did it wrong and the bunny got me a small tooth.
Lol. Wow, to this, I have to say I'd never heard of anybody throwing teeth on top of a roof.
but Michelle, your comment led me down a rabbit hole, which means it led me to a very deep internet research session that went on for quite a while.
It led me down a rabbit hole.
I kept wanting to know more information about throwing teeth on the roof.
and I found out that apparently, it's a common practice around the world, especially in parts of Asia, the Middle East, and Africa, and according to that research, in Japan, kids throw their lower teeth on the roof, but they put their upper teeth, the ones in front that are a bit bigger, under the floor in hopes that new teeth coming in will grow in straight.
Can anyone from Japan confirm that?
Very interesting, regardless.
The next thing I was curious about was how much do kids in your country get per tooth?
Felipe from Chile said for my son, one dollar in parentheses 1 ,000 Chilean pesos and Hot Wheels.
In a poll, most of you thought $1 to $5 per tooth is reasonable.
It's sort of an odd thing to talk about, but it's thoroughly entertaining, isn't it?
Imagine all the kids around the world getting excited about the mouse and the fairy, and then those throwing their teeth on the roof.
Thank you so much for contributing.
Your thoughts on this?
If there's anything else you guys want to share, my Instagram is at American English Podcast. Speaking of interesting cultural stuff, let's get on with today's episode.
Once again, if you would like the premium content that goes along with this chat, and that includes the full transcript, a quiz, flashcards, transcript reader, and more, be sure to sign up to season 4 at americanenglishpodcast .com.
Without further ado, let's begin!
Hi Liz! Hi Shana. This is so fun to have you back.
I have had so many episodes with you so far.
And every time I record with you, I get the same feedback.
Liz speaks clearly, she's got so many interesting things to say, and they just love you.
So welcome back Liz.
Thank you. Yeah, and if this is your first time listening, Liz is a good friend of mine.
She's been my friend for now, how old are we?
Oh, it's been like over 10 years for sure.
Yeah, close to 15. Yeah.
And we met in college.
And do you remember exactly how we met, Liz?
We met through a mutual friend.
We were in different German classes, but we met up before we went to study abroad.
Yep. And then over in Germany, we spent a lot of time together.
Our friendship sort bonded overseas and yeah, so now Liz is on the podcast yet again and today we're going to be talking about things that are sort of taboo, sort of awkward. I honestly feel a little bit nervous bringing some of these up because I'm afraid I'm going to walk on some toes here.
But I pulled a list from AI about awkward cultural situations that come up, not necessarily when meeting people from other countries, but even meetings among Americans.
Like I might meet up with somebody and they're not on time.
Like how do I react to that?
So Liz, I just sent you the list, do you have access to it?
Yes, looking at it now.
Amazing. Do you mind reading number one?
Yes. So number one is The Double Dip Dilemma.
If you're hosting a party and one of your guests visiting from abroad sticks their half -eaten carrot back into the guacamole, a hush falls over the room.
You know it's totally normal in their country, but some people are visibly uncomfortable.
What do you do? What do you say?
Do you pretend you didn't see it?
Do you remove the guacamole?
Okay, this was a big topic of conversation in my house not too long ago because Lucas said that in Brazil it's uncommon to have dips.
They're not part of their food, like they don't have as many appetizers.
What's your opinion about this?
Do you feel like this is very gross?
Do you feel like, like it's something that people do among friends?
Like, what's your opinion on double dipping?
So my opinion is, if you're at like a big party or something like that where you don't know everything, hard no on a double dip.
If my husband and I are out to dinner and you know, maybe we order a hummus for the table or guacamole salsa, I'm not gonna mind if he double dips.
I kiss him, it's fine, and if there's a touch of saliva that makes its way into the dip on the table.
But if I'm at a party and I see somebody double -dip, maybe I know them, maybe I don't, but then I'd have to assume there's other people doing it, I'm not touching them.
Right. Okay. So now let's imagine it's you, me, maybe Lucas.
What do you do? I'm not a double -dipper.
Okay. But if either of you double -dipped, I know you well enough, and I would feel okay with it, maybe depending on how egregious the double -dip was, or if one of you was sick or something like that.
But I would be okay with it.
I personally don't do it or I'll flip it around so my mouth part doesn't go back in.
But I still want dip.
Okay, right. And there's an awareness though.
Like if I were double dipping, you would be aware in that moment, oh Shawna is double dipping, interesting.
And - That's a choice.
That was a choice. I also am not a double dipper and I also in immediate, you know, groups, even with Lucas and the girls, I still do make the flip.
Like if it's a chip, I'll do it from the opposite side, carrot stick, yeah.
Same. Yeah okay. So we're on the same page with that.
I think it's really interesting to hear Lucas's perspective, especially, I had never considered how prominent our dip culture is.
I mean, I guess, when I've traveled a lot, there are some countries that aren't like sauce or dip countries like a lot of Europe.
I've noticed you're not getting a side dip or a spread or a sauce with a lot of foods.
And I see food as a vehicle for a sauce or a dip.
Yes. I love a sauce or a dip.
So it could also, culturally, if people aren't used to it, just think that it's okay, but yeah.
I don't know. Yeah.
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Would it gross you out if I asked to take a sip from your drink?
No. It's again, the same with like a double dip, if I know you well, or even, you know, feel comfortable around you.
I'm fine with it, especially if you're drinking out of the side of the glass, instead of out of the straw, I'm using something like that.
But generally speaking, no, if you're taking a little sip, I don't mind.
We, we actually have an issue in our house with the girls taking sips out of our stuff because they don't fully close their mouth.
When they're taking a sip and then some of their food sometimes goes in your drink, the next time you take a sip you're like chewing on something.
Very disgusting. So, yes, two fantastic words here double dip and backwash.
Yeah, so that liquid that came in and came back out, that was sort regurgitated, in a way.
Is that backwash? Oh, something I learned recently was that people call this something different.
And where I'm from in Orange County, apparently, this is the only place that uses this term for it, which is a birdie, where you take a sip of somebody's drink, but you're, like, not putting your mouth on the cup.
Other people, I'm told, call it a waterfall.
Waterfall. waterfall.
Yes. So that is a good way to avoid the backwash is to waterfall is the way I would say it.
And then Liz would say, take a birdie or can I have a birdie from your drink?
Very cool. New to me.
That's great. Okay, so now moving on to the next item on our list and I've of course lost the list. Where'd the list go?
Oh, there it is. Do you have an opinion about taking shoes off in the house?
Like say for example, you had a guest come over and they walked up to your door and then didn't take their shoes off when walking in, didn't ask.
Would you be grossed out by that?
Would you judge their character in a way by them not asking.
I wouldn't judge their character.
The way I see it is however somebody is comfortable coming into my home is fine with me.
If they ask, should I take my shoes off, if I know that they're walking all around my house, yes, I would say yes.
But if they're just popping in real quick, then I don't mind.
And I think it's nice to ask, or you take social cues.
A lot of white Americans don't take shoes off in the house, or you could look near the front door, am I seeing a collection of shoes?
So I'm going to assume it's a shoes off house, and then you take your shoes off.
I don't find it, because it's not culturally what people do here, I don't find it rude not to ask.
But I do think it's nice.
Yeah, I love that you mentioned looking for clues, like by the front door, seeing if their shoes set up there.
I think that's definitely very important to pay attention to those sorts of things.
But I'm always the type of person who asks, because most of the people I know don't really care.
They'll wear shoes in their house if they walk in, they need to grab something, they're to take off their shoes.
But yeah, maybe some people are particular about it.
Especially I think if they have like newer carpet or newer rugs.
Like for example, in our house.
We just got two new rugs and they're right now there's no spills on them.
I just imagine muddy shoes walking across them and it's kind of like, ugh!
just because they're new, though.
Yeah, no, exactly. Next thing in line.
So this one is about gift giving and when gifts are appropriate.
So the example given here is, it's your birthday, and a friend from a different culture brings a super expensive gift. Even in your tradition, modest or even no gifts are more appropriate, the other guest feels awkward. How do you respond to the situation?
Yeah, so like, imagine someone brings a designer handbag for your...
your birthday? Maybe it's a new friend, you've been friends for like a month, how would you respond to that?
I'm not going to reject a gift from somebody, because I think that that's the bigger faux pas in the situation, but I would say, oh that's completely unnecessary, you didn't have to do that, you're too nice, I'm like thank you so much, all say I'd love it even and if I don't, but the expectation is set there, which is then maybe difficult to live up to, especially if that new friend, they have a birthday coming up and you think to yourself, well, do I need to buy them a designer handbag in return?
So I think that's where things get uncomfortable as you try to think through the appropriateness And you know, is this a milestone birthday?
30th birthday? 50th birthday?
Is this some sort of big moment in their life?
Your socioeconomic status?
Maybe spending $3 ,000 on a handbag is pennies to you.
Great friend to have. And I think also just the situation.
Maybe you're just going out to dinner with some friends And the gift was we're buying dinner for the birthday girl.
And then somebody shows up with a handbag that's thousands of dollars and you think to yourself like, wow, you really weren't supposed to do that.
So there are different factors.
And so you would say, no, you shouldn't have, like, kind of not reject it really, but sort of, you know, at first make it seem like that's over the top in a way?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
So I'm curious then, if you went to a birthday party, because I'm imagining a lot of international people who are in the United States, at some point, they're going to be invited to a birthday party, like what kind of present would you bring as an adult?
And what kind of things come into your mind when deciding what to buy, if you buy something?
It's like, I think we all kind of know how much each other earns, or their general lifestyle, or what they're going through at the moment.
And so maybe somebody bringing a $10 bottle of wine is what you know that they can afford, and that's very nice and it's generous and you feel like that's a wonderful gift. Somebody else may think, maybe at the place where a $1 ,000 bottle of wine is their norm and they're bringing that.
I think it also depends on the setting.
I think it's common for a lot of people to say on an invite whether gifts are expected or not.
Sometimes there's, say for a baby shower, wedding shower, there's a link to a registry, and so then you know gifts are expected and something from this list. I see often with a house party or a dinner party, people say, no gifts, sometimes it's still appropriate to bring a bottle of wine or maybe some flowers, a little hostess gift to acknowledge that somebody else is hosting you, or to ask the host, can I bring anything?
And then they may say, sometimes they may ask you to bring a dessert or side dish.
Great. Wonderful. I think most of the time you'll know based on your relationship to that person whether a gift is expected or not like I gave the example before going out for a dinner party with a friend if you're covering the bill that's your gift to the birthday boy or girl mm -hmm and there may not be a gift in addition what do you think I agree with that I definitely agree with that out to dinner.
I think it's almost more awkward if you give a gift and then you don't cover the bill.
It seems weirder. And so I think covering the bill is the standard. And then I think it would be completely okay as adults to not bring something back.
I liked what you said a lot about, you know, people hosting a party and bringing hostess gifts.
That's a big thing that was always talked about in my family growing up.
And my mom also, she hosts a lot of the parties.
And she loves when people ask, can I bring something?
Because a lot of the time she doesn't want people to bring something.
Maybe she's got the perfect dessert in mind and she's going to put a lot of energy into it.
Maybe there's like more expensive ingredients like pistachios or expensive chocolate.
And then if someone brings a dessert that trumps her dessert, then she's sort of bummed out, you know?
And so I think it's always good to ask.
But I agree with you on everything.
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Selection varies by location while supplies last. So when I was living in New York, I had this friend Richie, and you know Richie.
I'm not gonna say where he's from.
You met him before.
And he was supposed to meet me for, I don't know, we were gonna hang out.
And we had a meeting at nine o 'clock And he was there 45 minutes late.
I was waiting outside in the cold, I didn't have appropriate clothing on.
I should've brought a bigger jacket.
And I waited angrily with my phone and he was not responding for 45 minutes.
And I was so annoyed that the whole rest of the, the whole rest of the morning, I was annoyed during our hangout.
And I thought punctuality is something that was built into me from day one and I'm curious how you would have felt in that situation if punctuality is super important to you and when it matters and when it doesn't matter so much?
So for me, if you stay in contact, hey, I'm running late, I'm 30 minutes behind, so sorry.
Then I know. And I'm OK with it.
If you go no contact Yes Ignoring later than 30 minutes.
I'm assuming You're not coming where I live 15 minutes late is kind of the standard So that doesn't bother me I try to be on time, but I also know people are typically 15 minutes late.
So I might show maybe five minutes late knowing that whoever i'm meeting with depending on the person is going to be later than I am.
And then I'm not waiting around forever.
But we all have phones, I just scroll Instagram or do whatever respond to emails.
So it doesn't bother me that much. But if somebody was 45 minutes late and didn't call, didn't text, oh, I'd be pissed.
I'd be so mad. Cause afterwards, he said, I expected that you would have been late too.
I was like, wait, what?
We scheduled this time?
I'm like why are you so like, I agree with you that a message means a lot.
It's just so simple to send a message.
But I do think with a lot of business meetings and Lucas noticed this too when he was in LA you had to definitely send those messages because if you're late people are not happy because it's a sign of disrespect.
So absolutely and for me it's totally different between a business meeting and like meeting up with friends for dinner.
Right, a business meeting if you're more than two minutes late It's inappropriate.
And I think we've all worked with different people who have different feelings about what on time is i've had plenty of bosses where it's not uncommon that they Tell me 15 minutes after a call is supposed to start that they're not going to make it and now I need to run the call or Can we reschedule to another time and you're like well, i've already been sitting here on the call for like 20 minutes with this person, like, being late in a business professional setting is completely unacceptable.
With friends out to dinner and you're 5 -10 minutes late.
Yeah. Fine, no problem.
Same thing with a business meeting?
No, absolutely not.
Yeah. Do you think your parents instilled punctuality into your life as a kid?
I think so, but never in a way that felt, I guess like, strong.
We were just like on -time people and I don't remember any discussion about it.
If that makes sense.
Yeah. Yeah, I definitely remember the getting ready.
Like if you have to be somewhere at 11, you're in the shower at 9, timing the minutes.
This is how long it takes to get there I have to plan to be five to ten minutes early and then, you know, calculate like going back in time.
Anyway, something that I guess some people just don't do, but culturally pretty important.
Yes, I will say I can give an example recently.
So a friend of mine that I used to work with were friends now, but we had worked together and her husband is Persian.
There's a big Persian community here in Los Angeles and so they were having their baby shower and they basically had to plan two events in one because they knew all of their American and Western friends who were coming who was about half the party were going to be on time.
They knew that the Persian family and friends were going to be probably an hour late but that's on time for them.
And so they had to set things up in such a way because there was a plated meal that was at this baby shower.
So there were very formal timed start times in the serving times.
Just so that all the food would be hot.
So she, my friend was very stressed about how this was gonna work.
She didn't wanna start the lunch too early because then half the party wouldn't be there.
It was... It ended up working out, but she had to be very aware of the cultural expectations of the guests that were coming to the party.
And so, that was interesting for me to see because I'm so used to you're never going to be anywhere more than 15 minutes late and have it be okay, and then half the party shows up an hour plus late, and it's everything's great, everything's fine.
So that was a different cultural experience for me.
I love that example.
And I liked that you said, an hour late is on time for that group because that's really what it comes down to because culturally, for another group, they're doing what's culturally acceptable.
So I think, yeah, there's nothing wrong with it.
And, you know, it's just, it's just different.
Yeah. That's where the cultural discussion comes in.
Love that example. Thank you for that.
Really cool. Volume Dilemma.
I don't think we need to talk really about volume.
We're loud. Yeah generally speaking.
The next one, when is silence awkward?
Like if you're on a road trip with somebody and there's 30 minutes of silence, I mean, what would you think?
Would you think the other person is mad at you?
Or would you, I mean, start questioning their behavior?
Probably not, but I guess it depends on the situation.
If you were talking about something really intense for a while and then suddenly both of you go silent, did I say something that triggered this person that they're bothered by and try to bring it up again?
Or maybe we're both just sitting in our own thoughts.
Same with hanging out with friends, sometimes you have a few minutes where nobody's saying anything or you're enjoying a meal and you're eating and not actively talking?
I don't think that's awkward. Have you always thought that way or do you think that with age you've become more comfortable with silence?
Probably more so with age.
I think when you're more comfortable in your skin and your thoughts and you're not constantly thinking, oh what is this other person thinking about me or this situation.
That's it for part one.
I'd like to finish this first chunk of audio with a summary and questions for you to bring to your language class.
Don't skip this. We're going to repeat some of the important vocab.
Now, we started our chat by talking about double dipping.
To dip means to insert or immerse something into something else.
If you skinny dip, it means you're going into water without a bathing suit on.
But, when you're just dipping in general, you're putting food into a dip or a sauce.
Dip, as you just heard, is also a noun.
It's a type of thick sauce that you intend to put or dip food into.
Chips and dip, or veggies and dip are a super popular appetizer in the US.
You'll see them at any sort of house gathering.
We dip carrot sticks and celery into ranch, ruffles into french onion dip, a baguette into spinach dip, tortilla chips into bean dip or nacho cheese dip.
The list goes on when I dip you, dip we dip.
Just kidding. Now when somebody double dips, it means to immerse food into the dip once, bite it and then to insert it again.
So by doing that, your mouth has already touched the piece of food that's going back into the dip.
So there might be some saliva going in with it.
And in general, double dipping is seen poorly by a lot of people in the US.
It's sort of a faux pas.
Now, Liz said she is not a double dipper, but that she wouldn't have a problem if someone did it in an intimate environment or if a close friend did it.
Neither of us found it acceptable at parties where there are other guests.
Both of us are very aware when there is a double dipper in the room.
Of course, just flip your chip if you're gonna dip it again.
My question for you is, do you have dips in your country?
Have you ever considered double -dipping before?
Kind of interesting.
Then we talked about taking your shoes off in the house.
Liz mentioned that she wants people to feel comfortable in her home.
And if that means keeping their shoes on, that's all right.
She does, however, think it's nice when people ask.
She suggested that when you walk into a house you might look for social cues, like a stack of shoes by the door, to know that it would be appropriate to take your shoes off.
I personally always ask.
I just think it's a good thing to do, and it's also a good way to practice English.
Should I take my shoes off?
Is it a custom in your country to take your shoes off when you're inside?
Do you do it at other people's homes?
Then Liz and I talked about gift giving and hostess gifts.
If someone is having a party, the person who's in charge is called the host or the hostess.
Liz mentioned that it's nice to ask a hostess what to bring to a party.
Depending on their answer, it might be appropriate to bring wine, flowers, or possibly a side dish.
Liz mentioned that some parties like baby showers or wedding showers have registries on the invite.
It's already mentioned where you can find information about what to buy.
At kids' birthday parties, the host typically pays for food and drink and everything, but if you are a guest at an adult's birthday party at a restaurant, it's common for the guests to pay for the birthday boy or girl.
Typically everyone in the group will chip in to cover the cost of their meal and drinks.
Liz and I both consider that a gift in itself, but of course it's an opinion you know your friend best, so do what seems right.
So how does it work in your country?
What would be a common gift to give someone as an adult?
At the very end, we spoke about punctuality and awkward silences.
What are your thoughts on these?
I hope you enjoyed this chat.
Be sure to stay tuned for part two.
We talk about our thoughts on tipping, splitting the check while on dates, and so much more.
Enjoy the of your day.
to see you soon. at Lowe's.
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