Do you have this T-shirt in my size?
I have something even better.
Behold, my butt.
I could play this game forever.
What'd you say?
Coughing.
I was coughing.
Those weren't words.
This is fun.
What you two have.
Mabel, how long have you been standing there?
Don't worry about that.
Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance.
Oh no, she got into the smile dip again.
Wrong 1,000.
It's because today is the greatest day of my life.
Ow!
Several times as playing at the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet.
Ugh, several times?
Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?
You got me acting so cray cray.
Cray cray!
Tell me that you won't be my baby.
We're not threatening!
Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?
Dipper's right.
They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.
You're making my dance sad.
This is probably a machine that mass-produces them.
Or maybe the boys are grown from pods.
Yeah, pods, totally.
You guys can't ruin this for me.
Mabel's got backup.
Hey, guys!
Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives?
How many times am I gonna love ya?
Several times!
Girls.
I know, right?
Should I go with lip balm or lip salve?
Go wild!
Tonight's our night!
I can't wait, guys.
Tonight we're gonna meet Craggy G, Graggy C, Leggy P, Chubby Z, and Deep Chris!
He's the fat one.
And those boys will fall in love with us.
Why wouldn't they?
Hey, is this the Fingerless Glove Store?
I like things that are dumb.
I'm Robbie.
Come on, man.
Laugh it up, Chief.
So, hey, Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point this weekend.
Maybe we should go, too.
Are you kidding me?
First, you stand me up last night, and instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?
I'll just be over here.
Look, Robbie, I'm not sure this relationship's working.
Maybe I should see other people.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
Before you do anything crazy, I want you to hear this.
Hope this works.
I wrote this song just for you.
When I think about you, I feel feeling so deep.
I'm tossing and turning, and you know I'm losing sleep.
Yeesh.
You know, maybe I was being a little hasty.
I'll give you another chance.
Yes, all right!
Let me go grab my coat.
All right, Robbie.
I saw that weird CD.
What the heck are you up to?
It's called romance, kid.
Something you'd never understand.
You ready?
I can't believe you wrote that for me.
I know.
I'm just so insanely talented.
Hmm.
Hmm.
What are you doing?
Guys, the weirdest thing just happened.
I think Robbie might be hypnotizing Wendy with his music.
Oh, Dipper, girls just like musicians.
You'll understand when you're older.
We're the same age.
Girls mature faster than guys.
Right, Grenda?
This is Grenda time!
Okay, girls, have you all practiced your obsessed boy band scream?
Just gonna ignore that.
Tickets, please!
Too late, girls.
The show's sold out.
This night is ruined!
I welcome you, Death.
No!
I said we're going to meet several times tonight and I meant it.
And I'm not gonna let a keep out sign keep us out! and meet for the apocalypse.
Doodle-a-doo.
We're all gonna die.
What's with the pacing, kid?
You look even more freaked out than usual.
Uh, I don't know.
You wouldn't understand.
Ah, come on, kid.
Try me.
Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music.
I've seen this before.
Really?
Her name was Carla McCorkle.
Carla Hot Pants McCorkle.
Me and Carla Baby would cut a rug together at the Duke Joint, our favorite 50s-themed 1970s diner.
Then one day, this new age tree hugger starts playing this transcendental hippie music.
Carla's hot pants turned into bell bottoms before I even knew what happened.
My memories get a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist.
So wait, you actually believe my theory?
You're darn right I do!
And we're gonna get to the bottom of it.
Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat.
It's apocalicious!
Hey girl, I just want to get real for a moment and say that, while we love being superstars, the real reason we do this is for you.
For you specifically.
Not the girl sitting next to you, but you.
I love you, Deep Chris!
He was talking to me!
Get him!
Get him!
Thank you, good luck!
Hello!
Several times?
We want to give you several kisses!
Look!
This is it, girls.
You're finally going to meet the five cutest boys in the world.
Dipper's gonna eat his words that boy bands are fake.
Yo, we're clones, dog!
OMG!
That is one big hamster tube.
Someone's coming!
Terrible show!
What is wrong with you boys?
You barely even sold out the arena!
Indeed, Chris.
You call that a pout?
Every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves!
Except for you, Leggy P. You were really on point tonight.
Here you go, gorgeous.
As for the rest of you, remember, you can always be replaced by your brothers.
Dance for me, child!
Dance!
My throat is killing me!
Can someone get me a lemon and water?
Who goes there?
Prepare to be danced at.
Step off deep, Chris.
She's a lady.
Don't disrespect her, bro.
Don't disrespect.
My bad.
Chubby Z.
Let's calm this boo by posing for her poster style, trying hard not to let my brain explode.
I've always wanted to meet you guys, but what was the deal with that scary Chub-Chub Man?
Mr. Brassman's our producer, yo.
He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band, G. But he keeps us in cages!
That junk is straight brutal, girl!
It is straight brutal, Chubby Z. Our one dream is to escape into the real world, for real.
Yo, I heard tell about these things called trees.
I don't know what they are, but I want to kiss one.
But we can't disobey Mr. Bratzman.
He says he loves us.
If he loved you, he'd set you free.
True that, true that.
That's a valid perspective.
Let's go right now.
Me and my friends can help you escape.
We're masters of stealth!
Yo, you'd really do that for us, Beef?
You can count on me.
I'm sorry, did you just call me Beef?
You see, Dipper, music has subliminal mind control hidden in it all the time.
If you listen closely, even the music I play in the gift shop has subtle hidden messages.
Buy more keychains!
Buy more keychains!
If you want to hear the mind-controlling messages, you gotta slow down the record.
Give me that LP!
Oh, right.
We're doing something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it.
Hey, guys, how was the concert?
And what's in the bag?
Money!
Money we stole!
We are criminals!
We will cut you!
Let's go!
Your tour bus is really strange, Mabel girl.
Where are the feeding tubes at?
Yo, what up, girl?
So when do we get to go outside?
I want to cavort like a woodland creature!
It's your producer!
I can't believe those boys escaped from their cage.
You there!
I found this trail of frosted tips leading to this very location.
Have you seen any perfect boys around here?
Only when I look in the mirror.
Up top.
They must be around here somewhere.
I'll find those boys if I have to turn this town upside down!
Shoot!
Shoot!
Good boy.
Guys, it's not safe out there.
Ergman's still looking for you.
What do we do?
Aw, damn!
I'm scared, Mabel!
Don't worry, guys.
He has to give up eventually.
Hey, in the meantime, you could stay here with us.
Whoa, whoa!
2013!
Girls, do you realize what's happening here?
We have our very own pet boy band that we can do whatever we want with.
Remember, eventually we have to let them go.
We have to promise not to get too attached to them.
Right, Mabel?
Mabel?
All aboard the braid train!
Braid, braid!
Just just a few more minutes but All right, it took all day But I converted it to a record and now we can slow it down to see if the mind control message theory is correct Prepare to have your mind blown spit take here I come When I think about you, I feel fear in so deep.
I'm tossing, turning, and you know... That's not spit-worthy.
What gives?
What?
Is that it?
This was so stupid.
Of course there's no hidden mind control messages.
Mabel was right.
Wendy just likes the song.
She just likes Robbie.
Hey, Dip.
Forgot my keys.
What's up, Junior?
What are you doing?
Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you?
Ready to go to lookout point?
Am I?
Later, dorks.
Catch you on the rewind.
I made that up.
I'll rewind your face!
Wait a minute.
Stan, rewind!
You are now under my control.
Your mind is mine.
Holy mackerel!
Now there's your spit take.
Ha-ha!
I knew it!
It's mind control after all.
Oh, no.
I gotta save Wendy.
Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face.
Let's roll.
How'd it go up there?
I finally got them to sleep.
Poor Greggie Seed.
He tried to eat a tape dispenser.
I think this is food, dog.
Yo, you gonna share that?
Ah, memories.
The music industry was shaken today at the news that boy band king Ergman Bratzman has been arrested.
He was pulled over tonight for not having a rear license plate.
I'm telling you, the goat took it.
That's what they all say.
He is now in county jail awaiting trial.
Yes!
We have to tell the boys they are free now.
Let's go!
Not so fast!
They're not going anywhere.
What's the dealio, Mabel?
That evil producer is gone.
We have to tell the boys.
Wait, girls.
Let's not be so hasty.
I mean, think about it.
If we don't tell the boys, then they can stay here with me.
I mean, with us.
Mabel, we can't keep them here forever.
But I love them.
If you love them, you'd set them free.
Never.
Every boy I love this summer has left me, and I'm not gonna let it happen again.
Candy, we gotta get past Mabel.
She's gone boy crazy.
Boys!
Candy.
Attack!
You guys!
Erkman Bratzman is in jail!
You're free!
Just go!
Whoa.
Is that true, Mabel Dog?
Uh, no.
Your producer's still out there.
You're gonna have to stay here.
Probably forever!
What?
You can't listen to her!
Mabel's our girl, girl.
She puts pizza in our food trough.
She changes my newspaper, yo.
She's all right.
She is not all right, Chubby Z. Several times?
Yes, Maple Dog.
Remove these two from the premises, please.
Oh, no.
They're aggressively dancing at us.
Maple's gone mad with power.
Save yourself several times.
You're better off with your producer.
Word!
Call me, Team Chris!
2013!
Thank you, boys.
Now let's get aboard the brain train.
Things just got pretty heavy, Mabel.
Maybe we should all just like chill for a minute.
And then I said, let's get aboard the brain train.
We gotta warn Wendy about that song before she gets brainwashed!
Road safety laws prepare to be acknowledged!
Ha, weird.
Nate didn't show up.
So I guess it's just you and me.
This isn't what I was planning at all.
Wendy, stop!
Robbie's been lying to you!
Dipper?
Kid?
Mr. Pines?
That's Mr. Pines to you!
What?
That's what I just said.
Look, Wendy, you've got to hear this.
Mabel, you gotta hear this.
It's a song we wrote to say thank you.
Hit it!
Oh, boy!
Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears.
Here comes your Mabel girl.
But now we know that that can never be.
You know what friends are all about.
You kick those lion's shoulders out.
I'm starting to feel guilty here.
Break it down.
Who's the girl who's so high?
Tucks us into bed at night, Holds the fan up while we sing, Keeps me entertained with strings My shirt was wrinkled till she pressed it.
Chews our food so we can digest it.
He was evil, mean and reckless.
You gave me this candy And that's why I've got to let you go.
There's a message in there!
I swear!
Let me just close the window.
Wait, wait!
Here!
Thank you.
Robbie, what's that doing in our song?
Baby, I promise.
I don't know anything about those messages.
In fact, I didn't even write that song.
I ripped it off some other band.
So we're all good, right?
No, we're not all good.
I don't care about the messages.
You said you wrote that song for me, and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar.
I know, I know.
I lie about a lot of stuff, like using your makeup and fighting a bear, although No, you know what.
It's over, Robbie.
We're through.
What?
Wendy!
Goodbye.
Ha ha!
We won!
Kid, this is a victory for every guy whose hands are too weak or fat to play a musical instrument.
I couldn't have done it without you, Grunkle Stan.
Ha!
Um, hey!
Uh, now that your night is free, me and Grunkle Stan were thinking maybe bowling or something?
Are you serious?
Right now?
Ugh!
What is wrong with guys?
You only think about yourselves.
All of you should just leave me alone!
Oh, man.
Look, if it makes you feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon.
Bury your gold.
You've been buying gold, right?
We've got to save the boys.
I'm prepared to defend myself.
Hi, guys.
I'm sorry I went bonkers.
A catchy song made me realize that you were right.
Can you ever forgive me?
Of course!
Friendship repaired.
What's going on, Mabel girl?
You said you had something you wanted to show us or some deal?
Yep.
This!
Yo, dog!
Who is this big, round, bright fool?
That, Chubby Z, is the sun.
That fool's making my eyes burn straight painful.
I'm gonna stare that fool down.
Yo, yo, hold up.
What's this big green mess?
That's nature, Deep Chris.
Bratzman won't bother you anymore.
You can do anything you want to do.
Go anywhere you want to go.
You're free.
Free?
Free!
You're free!
It means you can skedaddle.
Now go.
Go!
That won't last a week.
Women, they're the real mystery, Dip.
You ruin their date.
Drive their hippie boyfriend's van into a ravine and somehow you're the bad guy.
No, it's my fault.
I shouldn't have meddled in Wendy's personal life.
She probably hates me now.
Ah, chin up, kid.
You were trying to do the right thing.
Even though you destroyed a relationship and part of my car.
You think she'll ever forgive me?
I bet she will.
And until then, you can always go bowling with me.
Thanks, Grunkle Stan.
Don't mention it, kid.
Wait a second.
Is something rooting through our trash?
Darn beautiful men, always eating out of my trash.
Wait, what?
Girl, you got me acting so cray cray.
Cray cray!
You tell me that you owe me my baby.
We're not threatening, girl.
Yeah!
Dang, girl.
2013.
