Well, children, it's Thursday again and Miss Trunchbull will be here in a few minutes.
Now I'm aware that one or two of you didn't particularly enjoy the last occasion when the headmistress took the class, so let's all try to be especially careful and clever today.
OK.
She'll be testing you on your three times table.
That's what you're supposed to have learned this week.
She's coming.
Don't be cheeky, remember.
I am glad to see that there are no slimy creatures in my drinking water this time.
If there had been, then something exceptionally unpleasant would have happened to every single member of this class.
Right, the three times table.
Let's see how well Miss Honey has taught you your three times table.
You!
Who, who me?
Yes, you!
Stand up.
What's your name?
Lavender, Mr. Trunchbull.
Ah, yes.
Lavender.
I remember.
Recite the three times table backwards.
But I haven't learned it backwards.
Ah, there you are.
She taught you nothing.
Very well.
Answer me this.
I have seven apples, seven oranges and seven bananas.
How many pieces of fruit do I have altogether?
Hurry up.
Get on with it.
Give me the answer.
That's adding up.
You blithering idiot.
You festering gumboil.
You flea-bitten fungus.
That is the three times table.
Three separate lots of fruit and each lot has seven pieces.
Three sevens are twenty-one.
It's called multiplication, you moth-eaten maggot.
Come here.
Ow, ow.
Please don't pull my hair.
The chalk, the chalk.
Look at the chalk.
It's moving on its own over the blackboard.
What are you saying, you stupid boy?
It's writing something.
The chalk is writing something.
Agatha.
Wow, what a writing.
What is it?
It's written Agatha.
What the blazes is this?
Who's doing this?
Who's writing it?
Agatha, this is Magnus.
This is Magnus.
What are you doing?
Who's doing this?
This is Magnus.
Magnus?
No, no, it can't be.
It can't be Magnus.
Agatha.
It says Agatha again.
That's you, isn't it, Miss Trunchbull?
Quiet, boy.
What on earth is going on?
Give my Jenny back her house.
What?
The house?
Who are you?
Give my Jenny her wages.
Give my Jenny the house.
Then get out of here.
If you don't, I'll come and get you.
I will come and get you like you got me.
I am watching you, Agatha.
No, no, no, no!
Miss Trunchbull has fallen down.
She's out cold.
Miss Trunchbull is on the floor.
She's out cold.
That's the end of the Trunchbull.
She's had it.
It took five teachers, Mr Trilby, the deputy headmaster and the matron to lift the trunchbull and carry her to the sick room.
When she came out of her faint, she marched out of the school building tight-lipped and white in the face.
We never saw her again.
She just vanished.
Magnus's will mysteriously turned up at a solicitor's firm and Miss Honey moved back into the red house, where she belonged.
This is a beautiful garden, Miss Honey.
I know.
I'm very lucky.
Oh, but you deserve it.
I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, Matilda, would I?
It was a good trick with the chalk, wasn't it?
It certainly was.
A piece of chocolate cake?
Yes, please.
It's quite a different tea from the one I offered you in the cottage, isn't it?
I like that just as much, but I'm glad you're not poor anymore.
No, I'm not poor.
I miss not having you as my teacher.
I miss not having you in my class, Matilda.
But you're so much better off in Miss Plimsoll's class.
I know.
I do like it.
And you know you can come here to tea every day if you like.
Thanks, Miss Honey.
Miss Honey?
Yes?
This morning, just for fun, I tried to put something over with my eyes and I couldn't do it.
Nothing moved.
The power had gone.
I think I've lost it completely.
Hmm.
Well, I've been expecting something like that to happen.
But why?
Because when you were in my class, you had nothing to make you struggle.
There was tremendous energy bottled up in your brain with nowhere to go.
And somehow or other you were able to shoot that energy out through your eyes and make objects move.
But now you're in the top form, competing against children more than twice your age, and all that mental energy is used up in class.
I'm glad it's happened.
I wouldn't want to go through life as a miracle worker.
You've done enough.
I can still hardly believe you made all this happen for me.
Did you know that the heart of a mouse beats at the rate of 650 times a minute?
No.
And that means it goes so fast that you can't even hear the separate beats.
A hedgehog's heart isn't quite as fast as a mouse's.
Thank you.
